Thank You, Captain Obvious

*sigh*

It was an…interesting weekend.

I always find myself on Sunday night, staring at a blank computer screen wondering, “Okay, God. What the H am I supposed to write.”

Tonight…I know exactly what I’m supposed to say.

Back at the beginning of this month, I published the post, Honesty Hour. And first of all, I have just been blown away by the outpouring of encouragement and kindness. So thank you. Truly.


But in it, I talked about feeling restless about what I’m supposed to do with my life, my career, my love life, everything.

And basically, I summed it up by saying that God is always communicating with us. We just have to be aware.

Well this weekend, He smacked me upside the head with His message.

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But what happens when what He’s saying is not what you want to hear?

Allow me to set the stage.

3 boys. 3 days. 3 messages.

God pulled A Christmas Carol – “Ghost of Christmas Past” – move on me.

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Thursday night: I’m falling asleep and I literally pray out loud in exasperation, “God, please just show me what you want me to do with my love life. I’m tired of waiting.


There are a few interesting guys on my radar. Now, I am completely aware that this sounds like I’m “playing the field.” But that’s not the case. In an effort to be open to love, I am trying to be open to the people that God places in my life. And so, there are a couple interesting guys. Interesting sparks, if you will.

Well, during three different episodes this weekend, I was shown legitimate deal breakers about each and every one of them.

That, my friends, is what you call God being Captain Obvious.


Think I’m exaggerating?

Friday Night: I find out Guy A, possibly has another girlfriend back in his home country.


This is learned from a conversation I had with one of his 10 friends visiting from across the pond.

Communicated: this guy could possibly have infidelity issues.
Saturday Night: I have a 2 hour conversation with my mother about my love life and what God wants me to do with my life. I feel restless and super impatient, but my mother assures me that God has a plan and that He will reveal it.

Not even an hour after that conversation ends, Guy B literally shows up on my doorstep,  having taken a bus to NYC. He wanted to reevaluate why I ended things back in January. I have not heard from him in months. He had everything going for him – but I just didn’t have that romantic feeling.

What I think is being communicated: This is obviously God saying, “Get over yourself, BBB! This is the guy for you!” 

But I will find out, that is not the message.

Sunday Afternoon: Guy C has a birthday party and he does not issue me a personal invitation. Which doesn’t sound like that big of a deal. He didn’t personally invite anyone, and come on…this is the world of Facebook and texting. Get over yourself, right? But we’ve had a history since 2012, so you would think he’d make an emotional advance already!


Communicated: this guy either doesn’t truly care or lacks the gumption to reveal his feelings.

Let me pause here. These are three guys who I have known since I moved to NYC in 2012. And I have been “pursued” by each one individually for 2-3 years. That’s a significant amount of time. Not that I’ve wasted, but that, I’ve been stalling. Mainly because I haven’t been ready to accept love, but none the less, I have never shown my cards — been in a perpetual state of waiting.

And then this weekend happens right after I prayed that prayer.

So I was like, “Dang, I need to figure out what all this means. STAT.”


And here’s what I got: I think that in each of these three situations, God has shown me that I’ve been devoting all this time and energy into these relationships, and none of them are who He has planned. So I need to stop spinning my wheels and find someone who will a) have me as his one and only, b) respect my boundaries and c) be able to communicate his feelings.

God was telling me no.

And that is hard to hear.


Could I have read that big romantic gesture of showing up Breakfast-Club-style as God smacking me over the head saying, Helloooo! Do I have to spell it out for you!? I am hand delivering who is right for you!

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Sure. But I’m missing the greater message. The message as it relates to this crazy and blatantly coincidental weekend.

God says no sometimes. And it sucks. But I have to trust that He’s not going to leave me high and dry.

Maybe I’m supposed to realize that I’m not looking for love in the right places. That my friend group is not the place to find love.


Maybe Guy B’s freakishly timely arrival at my doorstep was just God reminding me that there are still good guys out there and that I shouldn’t compromise.

Maybe God is just winking at me saying, “You wanted a sign, you got one, baby!”

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I don’t know. I have to pray and reflect more on all of this.

But here’s what I do know:

God does communicate with us. In conversations. In coincidental circumstances. In your gut when you just get that feeling. In people showing up at your door in the middle of the night.


He is always sending us messages. But how often do we actually take some time to actually reflect on what it is He’s trying to say?

I am SO guilty of this. Life is BUSYI’m working, hanging out with my friends, blogging, instagramming, writing posts, thinking about posts, insta-stalking Beyonce and her “Becky with the good hair” scandal…

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…going grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning — and this is all while multi-tasking and listening to a podcast in my ear at the same time!

My mind is never quiet.

So truly, how then should I expect to hear God’s gentle whisper??

So advice time: how do you do this? I’m genuinely asking? How do you make sure you are able to hear God’s voice?

Because it’s out there.


So that’s what I’ve got.

I’m just trying to trust. To remember that God knows exactly what he’s doing. And even though I don’t understand, He does. And He already has the right man picked out for me. I won’t be able to miss him.

God has never once abandoned me. Not through my anorexia. Not through fears and changes and new starts and pain. He has always been faithful. And He’s always encouraging me and communicating with me along the way. The trick is to recognize His speaking.


 

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

309 thoughts on “Thank You, Captain Obvious

  1. Sometimes Cap’n Obvious isn’t always obvious to us, but He wants to help us see the characteristics, and character, of who would help us be happy in the present as well as find joy with them in the future. Sometimes, the answer is right in front of our heart, and when we’re ready to see the answer, our eyes will be opened to what our heart…and spirit…already recognized long before. Faith in every footstep, Beauty. And your’e walking it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Very true very true. Thanks for this beautiful perspective. You’re right, God will reveal and open my eyes when I’m ready to see and embrace the answer. Thanks for this encouragement. Hugs and love xox

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  2. Ahh…yes. Waiting and listening. God has been gently but persistently trying to teach me about this and here is what I have learned so far. I do need to shut of the noise to listen. This means doing less and being more, and I don’t really know how to explain it. It means turning off the radio while I drive and looking around me. It means not doing everything I could do socially or at my job, teaching. It means asking God to help me be holy and be His. It’s saying, “God, I hear listening,” and being disciplined enough to not let any random worries or wonders wander into my mind. And that my friend, is one that I am definitely still working on!!!
    Thanks for the honest post. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Yolanda! Thank you so much for this beautiful reflection. This is such great advice. You’re right – we have to actively seek to listen and to purposefully make quiet time. I definitely definitely nee to work on that. thanks for reading! hugs and love xox

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  3. I love this post! We can act like such spoiled children when God tells us no. I have to remind myself that he is my Father and knows what’s best for me. Just because I want someone or something doesn’t mean it’s what I need. He sees things we can’t. I’m stubborn and controlling at times, and as you said in your post….busy, busy, busy. It’s hard to slow down and we have to make time to read His word and hear Him speaking to us. In the long run it’s necessary because it can save us so much trouble in life. I think we all long for the peace that comes with making sure we include God in our lives and the decisions we make. He’ll always lead us down the right path if we listen!

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  4. I’m going through something similar right now. Going to Adoration and spilling my heart keeps me sane. And I think what God is saying to me right now is, “I put you here to be My witness.” The crazy thing is I feel like this guy I like is looking at me like, “Oh, so you’re a woman of God, let’s see what that looks like.” And it’s like, OH CRAP CHALLENGE ACCEPTED lol. Let me stop daydreaming and start praying and doing His will . . .

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Challenge accepted! I love it!! I long for that too-to be in the center of his will. Thanks for all your kind words and reflections tonight! Have a beautiful evening. Hugs and love xox

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  5. Bits of Old Sage wisdom for you: 1) Relax – everything happens for a reason 2) When he is the right one, you will know it (kinda hits you like a brick to the side of your head) 3)STOP HUNTING and the deer will come – bad adage but too true…when you stop searching that is usually when the great one shows up (Watch the silly Hallmark channel movies for awhile – happens in almost all of them, LOL). NOW – the most important part – KEEP YOUR HEART OPEN! This is a tuff one, but if you concentrate on other things in your life with a smile on – makes people wonder what you are up to…shows that you are approachable. Doesn’t mean you fall head-over-heals every time you meet someone, just be fun and polite- – – can do amazing things this way! good luck

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  6. Loved your blog, and wow, appreciate how much time it takes to not only write well but find the pics to complement your story! Blogging IS a lot of work! God IS going to whisper to you when you meet him, and you both will get the message. If I have any sage advice after going through this twice in my 58 years I would say enjoy your single time, because once you’re in a committed relationship, as awesome as that is, you lose a lot of your free time and make choices together! For now you are free to be you, totally! Oh, and also, the person you are meant to be with -just like God–will be glad to be with you no matter what, as you will be to be with him. Joy!

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  7. I was 33 when I finally committed my life to Jesus. It took a few years for me to understand that I couldn’t date the way I had in the past. I resolved to do it in a godly way. For a couple of years, I dipped my toes in the water. That didn’t work. Then I decided to make God my focus and trust that He would provide in His timing. Six long years later and she finally arrived. Our dating experience was different from anything I had ever done before. We talked a lot. We really got to know each other because we kept the physical part out of it. We prayed together often. And then we decided to make a commitment to one another. It has been truly amazing. Marriage is truly a fire that will burn every ungodly characteristic out of you if you will submit yourself to the process. It hasn’t been easy on either of us. My wife has had to put up with a lot of my garbage. However, her perseverance is paying off. I am committed to the process and I am a better man and follower of Jesus than I was six years ago. Like you said, God knows. He has the right man picked out for you. Once you find him and he finds you, it will truly be an incredible ride! By the way, thanks for liking my latest post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Rob. Wow thank you so much for sharing this. What a beautiful testimony. I am so so happy for you that you found who God had planned for you! It sounds like you have a beautiful marriage. I appreciate the encouragement. Sending hugs and love xox

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  8. Listening to God, we all often ignore His guidance and yet we trust God in so many ways except in a relationship, sometimes it is blatantly obvious things are not right and yet we do not listen. We have to listen and follow guidance. God is truth, love and the path is correct. Take care and Bless you.

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  9. Wow BBB,

    Love your post. I like the concept of being who we are in Christ, beyond this body we have inherited. God has something greater He can out within and it can’t help but shine without.
    God’s “no’s” mean that there are better “messes!” out there. If someone in your life moves on then the Lord knows that isn’t right for either of you. I loved what someone told me, “God does not two perfect people together, but He does put two imperfect people who are perfect for each other.”
    Keep on writing. Oh, small suggestion, I recently learned. If your posts are smaller with meaty bites, you might have more readers read the whole thing. You have so many good things to say, why not break them into smaller bites to enjoy,
    Just a thought,

    Gary

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Gary, that really means a lot. You’re right-God is good and has something great out there for us. And thanks for the suggestion! I’ll take that into consideration 🙂 hugs and love xox

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  10. OK kiddo, here goes, How do you here His message? This is simple, you are a busy Lady, modern life is, but you really need to take a little time out every day for your self, Not social media, not Family, not even God. And while you are taking this 20 minutes with a cup of tea/Coffee just stop thinking, which is harder than it sounds, I know. It is only then, with your mind away from the clutter of modern life that you will start to hear, but listen with your eyes and mind open, and your mouth shut.

    I am not Christian, but I know God exists, 4 billion people can not be wrong on this. I opened my mind up and now I hear My Divine talking to me, like an e-mail going off in my mind. All of the Divine, including God will work like that, and soon while you are shopping or cooking or whatever you will hear the messages.

    No you do not have to settle for second best, but everyone has flaws, some can be overlooked, some can not. I have been Married for 20 years, and it has been rough at times, because no one is perfect. Open your mind and eyes and start to see what is in front of you, and who is around, outside of your circle. They, the Divine have a way of surprising us, they all work in mysterious ways.

    Keep the Faith and be patient.

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    1. Thank you so much for this, friend. This is some great advice-to slow down and Truly allow myself to listen for His gentle whisper. Wow 20 years-that is so beautiful. Way to go!! Thanks for taking the time to read and respond. It really means a lot. Hugs and love xox

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  11. Thank you for writing with a lot of vulnerability! I read a book a while back titled ‘Just Do Something Already’ by Kevin DeYoung. It was really helpful. Sorry for another book recommendation…..

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