Body Positivity Week???

Well, in case you didn’t know, it’s “Body Positivity Week.”

Yep, thanks to BuzzFeed, we’re being bombarded with full-frontal content about Forget-You-I-Love-My-Curves, and NGAFudge-ing about what anyone thinks about our cellulite, and Dag-Nabit I’m wearing a bikini if I want to, and how dare you body shame me.

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It’s actually kind of ironic how it’s Body POSITIVITY Week, and yet so many of the articles have an acoustically negative skew.

suprised

Granted, not all…but I spent a good 45 minutes parusing the articles, — because, hey…this is sorta my wheelhouse — and I maaaaybe came across two articles that I actually could get behind.

Now, I know this may seem a little “off-brand” for me to not be all gung-ho about a week that, from the surface, is about loving yourself and your body and embracing your beauty.

And, absolutely, I am obviously on board for all of those things.

But, I’ve got to be honest. I’m personally not on the “BoPo” train.

And this is coming from a girl who will regularly spontaneously turn on some Selena Gomez’s Hands to Myself, or Arianna Grande’s Dangerous Woman and have an all out dance party in my apartment. Sometimes in costume.

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So, I get it. It’s important to love yourself.

But body positivity…

This is a topic where things get…complicated.

You see, recovering from anorexia is something that you almost cannot put into words.

First, mentally – it is a life long battle. The sheer abhorrence of self that led to the symptoms of anorexia (i.e.: the weight loss) must be overcome in order to fully recover. So for starters, you have to silence the voice of ED in your head that is constantly tearing you down with insults that would make an inmate blush.


But then, there’s the physical.

Going from 78 pounds to a healthy weight — the changes your body makes are so, just, inexplicable. You would think that the things like, filling out your jeans or not being gaunt and skeletal, would be the biggest things you notice. But in fact, that’s not the case. Things like, squeezing your hand into a ball and feeling more flesh on your knuckles. Walking barefoot and not feeling your heel bones ache against the tile. Making a facial expression and not feeling your skin tighten because it was stretched so thin. These were the types of changes that I would fixate on.

I had literally scrutinized every centimeter of my body. So believe me when I say that I knew the changes that were going on in my body.

But back to body positivity.

Knowing these changes I was going through, one would think that body positivity was how I got through it. That by falling in love with my new and healthy body was how I overcame the disease.

Well…That could not be farther from the truth.

And unpopular opinion alert: body positivity was not even on my radar at all. 

Eventually, did I learn to love and accept my body? Sure – it’s still a journey, but I’m getting there.


But how I did it, was that I stopped focusing on my body at all.

That’s the thing about Body Positivity Week — it’s still focusing on our physical bodies. Obsessing over how much we love the imperfections and curves and “handfuls of lovin'” at one spot or another.

OK. That’s great.

But the way I learned to love my body was to stop focusing on my body.


I had to stop scrutinizing every 0.2 ounces that fluctuated on the scale. Stop meticulously surveying how this or that looked today. How something had changed, or grown, or gotten _____er or ______er overnight. Stop comparing my body, even in a healthy mindset, to other friends, family members, models, actors, people on the street. I had to just stop focusing on it.

I had to stop seeing myself through my distorted and irrational eyes.

I had to see myself through God’s eyes.

I had to see myself through the eyes of my Creator, who loves me unconditionally. And, even though I have done all of this crap, when He sees me, sees only a precious daughter, who has value and worth, just for being His.


His love for me could be classified as radical.

Radical: affecting the fundamental nature of something.

My fundamental nature was that I was broken. And spoiler alert, we all are in one way or another.

But I was broken. I had lied, manipulated people, destroyed my body purposefully, hated myself, was angry, selfish, self-centered.

God loved me despite all of those things. His love was radical. It changed me. Changed my fundamental nature. It took what was broken and made it new.

So in order to heal from my anorexia, I had to be radical with my body, too. And radically accept it.

And to do that, I had to stop focusing on it.

I kept my eyes on Him, not on the mirror.

I kept my thoughts on His love, His mercy, His forgiveness – not on how I feel about my body.


Do I celebrate my body every day? Yes.

Do I appreciate my health and life and recovered body every day? You bet your A.

But not because I want to say, “screw the media and its unhealthy standards of beauty.”

No.

I celebrate my body because I celebrate the soul that is in it.

The soul that was broken and then restored by a good and loving Father. That interior transformation is reflected in the outer transformation.

And that transformation comes from one source: Him.


So, sure. Body Positivity Week – it’s a nice sentiment. We should love and celebrate all shapes and sizes. That’s absolutely, 100% true.

But for me, it’s more than that. I don’t want to just celebrate my body. I want to celebrate He who restored my body. I want to celebrate the transformation He facilitated — mind, spirit, and yes…body.

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

271 thoughts on “Body Positivity Week???

  1. I’ll take you up on that bet. I’ll bet you one of my A’s (high school, I guess, since college turned out different–hey, I’ll bet you one of my A’s for my first semester of college–yea, then I was STILL perfect, before schizophrenia–do you know I thought for awhile I was Eve reborn??? Anyway…) I forgot what we were talking about…

      1. Oh, sorry. You said something betting an A. I read that somewhere your post. I’m sorry. I’m picking on the detail. I guess ’cause I’m a detail person. That’s why I like to count the number of words I use…Sorry, I don’t what the prize is here that we’re betting on. I was just willing to lose one of those A’s.

      2. Yea, I think I’ll keep my physics A. I had Jack Weyland the author as a teacher and uhh…he’s the author of that story CHARLY that was made into a movie. That was a pretty good movie, so…I might hang on to that A. Sorry. Good thing you didn’t use my mom’s word “Bumb” and said “B”. I don’t have a lot of those to give away.

      3. Weyland made the weirdest questions for his physics exams, I swear! Especially the final. Clowns and skyscrapers combined in the same physics problem. Yea, it was kinda weird. So was Captain Calculus, but I thought it was neat! He turned into a superhero just to help us with the calc since it was “calc-based” physics. It’s like they say, You’re not in Kansas, anymore with Calc-based physics. It’s not your high school physics course, anyway. I’m sorry. I am an ass. I’m glad you brought it up.

      4. You really oughta check out the sign on my door. You probably wouldn’t knock after you read it, anyway. You could just show up, look at the sign, and go home. I wouldn’t even know you were here. I tried to post the picture of it on my blog post about it, but for some reason the witchcraft I cast on it wouldn’t allow it to copy. Weird!!!

      5. I’m sorry, Beebs. Did I scare you? It’s all self-taught. It’s just that when my wife left me, I started doing weird things to bring her back–and they worked. Not permanently, of course!

  2. I love the post! With my Trichotillomania EVERYONE asked about “why don’t you have eyelashes?”

    I tried over and over to stop, became so worried about how few eyelashes I had left that if I accidentally pulled some because they itched I would rush to the mirror to see the damage I had done. People tried making fun of me as if shaming would do anything, my parents threatened me with therapy to which I had no desire going, and we lastly tried everything like getting a rubber band and slapping your wrist with it every time “the urge” came on me.

    I have been working on me as of late, only thing we can do right? But… as with riding a car or a bicycle… we have to look ahead to not crash. Focus on God, on His true love, and worship… prayer… all the time.

    Some people may get annoyed with how much I quote Louie Giglio but I have been watching the Comeback series on their church’s website- passioncitycurch.com. He said when we worship we do not have room for worries or stress and vice versus.

    We are simply not capable of both at the same time.

    Now, the way I do my makeup as a result of having plucked all my eyelashes though? That is me- my style. People now recognize it as that and unique… another unique thing about me… And they view me as beautiful. It throws me sometimes because I never really saw it, but I know I have my identity in Christ.

    It allows me equally as unique, a particular niche to whom I can reach out. Keep it up and God bless!

    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for sharing this. I’m so glad you’ve found identity in Christ. What a powerful thing. Whether anorexia or trichotillomania, the healing power of Jesus is the same. He will overcome! Thanks for reading! Hope you’re having a beautiful week. hugs and love xox

    2. It is wonderful that you have recovered from anorexia by stopping focusing on your body and instead focusing on God’s love for you. When I was in treatment for bulimia they said I would know when I was in complete recovery because I no longer cared what size I was. I am still not at that level of recovery as I want to be thin, but I am not risking a fatal heart attack 3 times a day by making myself sick on large quantities of cocaine. Your faith is so strong – it must help you so much. As I’ve said before I am going through a spiritual crisis and don’t know whether I believe in God anymore.

      1. I’m am so glad that you’re no longer risking that either. I’m sorry you’re going through that crisis. For me personally, I don’t want to even think about where I would be had not God rescued me from myself. Sending love friend. Remember how far you’ve come and celebrate that ❤️

  3. I really loved this post, thank you for sharing. I myself have to learn to see myself through God’s eyes and not my own distorted eyes. It has also been a log process for me to learn to love myself because I am His creation, that I am loved by Him and that He knows me better than I know myself. Thanks again.
    – Heidi

    1. Hi Heidi! Thank you so much for this reflection. Amen to that- we are His creation. His beautiful and loved creation. What a comfort in that thought! So glad you stopped by! Have a beautiful day! Hugs and love xox

  4. Can I just say how much I love this? I have always had a strange relationship with the whole body positive movement. It seems like instead of focusing on being thin, the focus has just shifted to loving your curves or your muscles or whatever, but the body is still the focus. Like you, I have watched my body change from 78 pounds (exactly, weird, huh?) to a much healthier weight. As my body changed and continues to change, I keep my eyes on Jesus and not my body. I have to remember daily that my value does not come from how I look or what I weigh but from the fact that I belong to Christ. I am very glad that I ran across your blog; It has been a huge blessing to me:-)

    1. Hi Erin! Oh my gosh thank you so much for this incredibly encouraging comment. I’m sorry we have that past that we have in common, but praise God we have both found healing and freedom in Christ. I’m so glad our paths crossed too! Have a beautiful evening my friend. Hugs and love xox

  5. “But I was broken. I had lied, manipulated people, destroyed my body purposefully, hated myself, was angry, selfish, self-centered.” <– The root cause of your ED was self-loathing? Or your ED led to self-loathing? This is a fascinating insight because I know someone who might have an ED and I'm curious if self-loathing might be the root…

  6. There is nothing better to celebrate about you than YOU!!!! You are beautiful inside and out just as God made you to be. You are so right. F$%^ the media, but its not worth worrying over either. Your body, but also your mind, your heart, and your soul are to be celebrated and beautiful is the way to describe all of them. Mad love, biggest hugs, and God Bless!! xoxoxoxo

    1. Hi Migueltio! Thank you so much for this encouragement and the mad love and hugs 🙂 hehe you’re so right — there is so much more to celebrate. thanks for the spot of sunshine! big hugs back atcha!

  7. It is interesting the things that you noticed about yourself and your body. Such as your hand and the flesh on the knuckles rather than the other parts of the body that are so media scrutinized.

    It reminds me of when I lost 60 lbs, on purpose through methodical diet and exercise. When I became my average weight, people asked me what my favorite part was about losing the weight. I said, “Being able to bend over and tie my shoes.” Yes, my face was no longer a bowling ball. My gut was no longer huge. I was able to wear size 34 jeans again, rather than size 40. The most important thing to me was just being able to bend over and tie my shoes.

    Maybe it doesn’t relate to what your saying but it brought the memory to mind.

    Wonderful post. Again, I love how you take an image based subject and bring it to a Spirit based subject, which all things are based one.

    1. thank you so much Matthew, I’m so glad this resonated with you. Wow, what an incredible accomplishment. Congratulations! You’re right – it’s things that people may not think that have the biggest impact. Thanks for your kind words and continued readership. it really means a lot. hugs and love xox

      1. Thank you for sharing your powerful experiences, and your beautiful faith. I always enjoy reading about your faith and how you are overcoming your ED. Your experiences and thoughts are universal in many ways. Hugs and love back to you. 🙂

  8. I know that most people have some sort of negative feelings about their bodies, they either want to be taller, shorter, more muscular, thinner, better nose, mouth, eyes, that’s why the cosmetic surgery industry and I do mean industry are raking it in. I am so glad that you have gained a positive view. One of the worries people have as they age is whether their mate will love them when they are older and wrinkled or fatter. It’s a funny thing that I noticed as I have gotten older, people are just more attractive if they like themselves and are comfortable within their own skin about who they are. That is because, usually, those people are much happier and at peace, easier to be around…they are comfortable with themselves and so they have more room in their hearts to accept other people and whatever flaws they may have. I have to agree that keeping yours eyes on God or having “God tunnel vision” allows you to focus on more important things than yourself. If you see yourself and the world through God’s eyes then you see it much more clearly. We all get old, saggy and wrinkled (if we are blessed to live that long)….true beauty is not on the outside, but on the inside. I find that there is nothing more beautiful than a person who is telling about how they came to know God, or what God has done in their life, or inspired them to do for others! I really enjoyed this blog entry, and I hope a lot of people read it who need to be uplifted about their body beliefs!

    1. Thank you so much for this beautiful reflection, Charlene. It really mean a lot and you have so much wisdom here! God tunnel vision … i like that! You’re so right – with His lens, we can see things a WHOLE lot more clearly! Thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox

      1. Got it from one of my favorite preachers. He’s taught me so much about living in the light of God’s grace , personified in Jesus…Its my honor to read your posts!

  9. You say some really important things. Most especially to place our focus on the love that God has for each of us which goes well beyond just what we see. Thanks for the reminder!

  10. Fantastic read! This is kind of a weird off shoot but while reading I couldnt help but think how its, the body positive thing, pushing a denial of reality of health both thin and heavy, and that the majority of media personality show nothing to support it them selves by way of hiring heavy women or men, or if they do, they go on diets. Kind of a lie wrapped in pretty packaging. Feel good stuff with no basis in reality.

    1. Thank you so much for this perspective. You’ve brought up some really thought provoking things! You’re right. It’s kind of a catch 22. Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  11. fix your eyes on the author and finisher of your faith, yes well written indeed…I find that when I am focused on God the rest follows, I take care of the temple (body) (workout, lift weights, shower, etc.) because it’s where He dwells and it’s my earth suit…that is how I look at the outward now, be the best version of myself I can through the eyes of the Father…

    1. Hi friend! Thanks for this reflection. You’re so so right-it’s our earth suit! So we’ve been entrusted with it to take care of it. What a great way to look at it. Hope you have a beautiful night. Hugs and love xox

  12. It funny that you wrote this awesomeness because my family and I have been discussing bodies lately (we had no idea it was BoPo week) anyway we talked about focusing on our spirit rather than our body and she related that with her Lupus she only can feel good about herself and life when she remembers that she is not her body but a spirit housed inside. That focus plus a deep connection with God is the best path to loving yourself regardless of looks, health, and ability. Thanks for sharing!

    1. Thank you so much for this beautiful reflection. You’re so right-we are bodies housing spirits. What a powerful perspective. Thanks for reading! Sending so much love xox

  13. My struggle is the opposite: trying to lose wright. I have been a chucky child, slimmed down teen and overweight adult. I went down to a size 6 and now back to a 12/14ish. My body image has changed a lot. I’m constantly trying to be happy with the body I have. It’s hard but like you said, the Lord blessed me with it and I have with what I’ve got. It’s all about lifestyle changes for me.

    1. Hi friend! Thank you for sharing this. Lifestyle changes can be challenging but you’ve got the right mindset: the Lord has blessed us abundantly with these amazing bodies! Thanks for reading and sharing your heart! Hugs and love xox

  14. I really like your post – you have such a real experience of being God’s beloved, which is encouraging to me.
    Are you familiar with Julie Miller, a singer/songwriter? I thought of two of her songs while reading your post: 1) Speed of Light and 2) Broken Things. I’d love to hear what you think of them.

  15. I literally have been thinking about just the exact same thing . The point about recovery is not focusing on our bodies or food. It’s about God and His incredible Fatherly love for us. You encompassed it in such a beautiful, Christ like way. I see Jesus’ and His incredible love that saves us alone, by His sacrifice, in you. <3

    1. Hey Em! Oh my gosh, you have absolutely brought a tear to my eye. Thank you for such a beautiful reply. You are so right. His love is incredible and it is 100% because of Him that I am free of ED. To him be the glory. So grateful for you, my friend. So glad you stopped by and shared your heart tonight. Sending a big big hug xox

  16. BoPo? Honestly, I’ve never considered it for myself. I do like the points you bring out about it though. I’ve always been fairly good looking. I don’t say this in a braggadocious way because it’s not that way at all. Like you, I tend to work on my Spirit and the body part just reflects what is put in.
    To accept a body all frumpy seems wrong, and to focus on it in an extreme manner seems equally so. So like you, It’s best to focus on Christ. He must be good looking. Focus here produces a healthy inner and outer glow. I definitely like the results.

    1. Thank you so much for this reflection. You’re so right – an inner and outer glow indeed is produced when we focus on Him. So true! Thanks for stopping by! hope you have a wonderful weekend! hugs and love xox

  17. BODY POSITIVITY WEEK!!!! Do you mean the media promoting something disguised as Body Positivity Week? Because I live in Australia and we don’t have this, so I would have to ask the source of this promotion and then say to myself it is God that created this body and He is the only one that can heal it and give me a positive attitude because it’s not “BODY POSITIVITY WEEK’ s ” to give.

    1. Hi my Australian friend! ☺️ you’re right-He is the ultimate healer. I’m not sure who the official source of bopo week is–I think it’s buzzfeed, but I could be wrong. But one things for sure: God is the artist of my body and I should celebrate that fact every single day! Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  18. I really appreciated this post because while I have not ever had an ED (and wow can I justI say I am so blessed by how God had transformed you! ), as a woman I am so done with body positivity (because it’s always aimed at woman). I do actually love my body (mostly), but most days I just dont. Even. Think. about. It. God created me wonderfully, but my body is more than being attractive or being beautiful. its a vessel of strength to work in the kingdom. Thank you for working in the kingdom too.

    1. Hi Juanita! Oh my gosh thank you for this beautiful comment. You’re absolutely right. Our bodies are vessels of strength to work in the kingdom. I love that perspective. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  19. How come we only celebrate something for a week? Bodies, love, candy, broccoli…? It’s like we (society as a whole) keeps darting around from tree to tree like a dog marking his territory! We need to walk up a gentle slope, sit down, and look back at the incredible beauty of the whole forest, field and stream; all things we miss when we just keep p***ing up the wrong tree(s).

    But that’s what you do so well, why so many people flock to you articles, You celebrate the whole thing every day! Well done!

    1. Hi Jeff! My goodness…you paint such a beautiful picture with your words, here, my friend. thank you for this powerful perspective. You’re right – we need to be more reflective on the whole, instead of darting around. Great great point. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your wonderful insight! have a great weekend! hugs xox

  20. Great take on this!

    I find myself on the fence about body positivity… I guess I get it. But, screw this culture so focused on outer appearances that it uses appearances to judge someone’s worth! This culture is broken. We are broken whenever we let its messages cause us to doubt our true worth in Christ.
    In Christ, we aren’t broken. So, no need to go on a body positivity rant, right?
    My body is useful. It brought 4 children into the world. It is strong. Stronger than most (I’ve been told I should take up Olympic weightlifting. But, I digress…) My body is not beautiful in and of itself. One day, not too far in the future, it will start the process of dying, and end up returning to the state of mere elements.
    My body is not who I am. It is WHERE I am right now.

    1. Hi friend, thank you for this wonderful reflection. you’re so right – we DO have immeasurable worth in Christ. We aren’t broken in Him at all. And wow, four children – that is so beautiful. You ARE strong!! hugs and love xox

  21. An excellent, healthy, and oh-so-true perspective! Thank you so much for sharing; it’s very encouraging! Continued blessings to you!

  22. Good point! So many times, all these special set aside days and weeks like “Body Positivity,” though they mean well, end up so skewed, and end up focusing on or setting apart EXACTLY the things they’re mean to get over. It’s a fallen world, my friend, that is looking behind every door but the right one. Glad you found the right One. Now go dance! LOL

    1. Hi Lisa! Thank you so much for this encouragement. You’re so right – the world is fallen, but praise God for His saving and healing power, no matter what! Such a comforting thought. And yes! Dance on!!! 😉 hugs and love xox

  23. “I had to see myself through the eyes of my Creator, who loves me unconditionally. And, even though I have done all of this crap, when He sees me, sees only a precious daughter, who has value and worth, just for being His.”

    Perrfect. Spot on. If only we all embraced that truth we would be totally content and whole. In the beginning God. In the middle God. In the end God. Somehow we become fixated on ourselves and lose our moorings. God created us for fellowship with Him and out of that relationship flows love, joy, hope, purpose, sanity, wisdom, everything. Again, thank you for pursuing your calling to tell your story. It is bread crumbs leading to Jesus!♡♡♡

    1. Hi Jan! My goodness, thank you for this beautiful comment. You’re so right: we need God, beginning, middle and end. That is 100% true. Thanks so much for being such a wonderful source of kindness and encouragement. it really means a lot 🙂 sending big hugs! (and thanks again for the link shout out!) oxoxox

  24. This is an excellent take on the whole body image issue. Thank you for sharing your testimony, and pointing it all back to God as well! I get so frustrated with this topic because the idea of “body positivity” doesn’t solve anything, and like you said, keeps everyone still focused on the body. I was so frustrated when “All About That Bass” came out, too, because it completely disregards the fact that that thin women, even extremely healthy women, struggle with body image, too. So thank you for speaking out and putting things in perspective!

    1. Hi Rebecca! Thank you for this great reflection. You’re right – focusing on our bodies and making them a trophy of sorts is focusing on the wrong thing. I totally agree. Thanks for the encouragement and taking the time to read! hugs and love my friend xox

  25. ‘I will be gentle with myself today’…thank you for writing that!

    On Thu, May 12, 2016 at 7:00 PM, BeautyBeyondBones wrote:

    > beautybeyondbones posted: “Well, in case you didn’t know, it’s “Body > Positivity Week.” Yep, thanks to BuzzFeed, we’re being bombarded with > full-frontal content about Forget-You-I-Love-My-Curves, and NGAFudge-ing > about what anyone thinks about our cellulite, and Dag-Nabit I’m weari” >

  26. I love your posts more than any other bloggers posts. Really, I understand. Nobody thinks a “young girl” (like me) would actually understand something

  27. So complicated, but I do. 🙂 Beauty is on the inside, and sometimes the outside, but we should really focus on what beauty we have on inside. Xox, ML

  28. I love this and I totally agree. The point of body positivity, I would think, is to not only accept ourselves but to realize that we are so much more than just our bodies. One of the reasons societal standards can be so dangerous isn’t just because it focuses on an unrealistic image of beauty, but because it puts so much focus on beauty and looks in the first place.

    Further I would say that, not all, but a lot of body positivity shames women who are skinny, saying that they are not ‘real women.’ I understand the idea behind it and I think some body activists definitely have the right message. But most of it just contradicts itself.

    1. Hi Chelsea! Thank you so much for this great reflection. I think you’re really into something here – we are so so much more than our bodies! Thanks for stopping by! Hope you have a wonderful weekend! Hugs and love xox

  29. That was absolutely the best I’ve read, no wonder you have such a following. I don’t know exactly what I wrote in my posts that earned your likes but you nailed it with this one, how it feels to rebuild body image after breast cancer. This brought tears to my eyes, I wasn’t prepared for. It really is hard to face a mirror and your inner self until the realization that you don’t have to prove anything to God. For me it was a huge relief.
    You really get it. Thanks for acknowledging and sharing your inner side, because you choose to be honest.
    Write on girl!

    1. Hi Trish! Wow thank you so much for this beautiful comment. It really means a lot. I’m so glad it resonated with you. You’re so right, you don’t have to prove anything to God. So glad you stopped by. Have a beautiful day 🙂

  30. I also didn’t do all that hype.. and my recovery results have been lasting. ♡
    Funny I didn’t even know about all the media hype now. I kind of don’t listen anymore. There was a quieting for me that happended when I went looking for Mt true self. Then the body respect came quite naturally. It’s shocking really.
    Much love to you.
    — Laurie

    1. Hi Laurie! Thank you for Beautiful perspective. That’s so great that you don’t listen to the hype. Finding your true self is the greatest thing you’ll ever do. Thanks for reading. Hugs and love XOXO

  31. We are right on the same page 😀

    I’ve been saying for forever (okay not really but it seems like a long time, alright!) the more you focus on your problem…the more power that problem’s gonna have over you. Maybe it’s a drug addiction, or a porn addiction, or a pain addiction. Or maybe it’s not a “problem”, maybe it’s just a “thing”, like your body…or an empty bank account.

    I’ve been listening to this really great speaker named Leif Hetland and his wife Jennifer and he says a lot when you focus on the “thing” it’s a problem, but when you focus on Daddy father and know who he is and know how much he loves you and how big his wallet is….boom. “Problem” becomes “Promise”. Problems, addictions, enemies, empty bank accounts – promises! When the Israelites were standing by the sea shore and Pharoah’s army was charging in God didn’t say ‘Hey guys, look at what’s coming up behind you, you better run through this path I’m about to make in the ocean,’ no he said ‘Stand still, look at what I’m about to do and KNOW I am GOD’. Boom – ocean opens up. We become what we behold.

    And to put it a little more personally… I became addicted to pornography when I was around 11. And I tried and I tried and I begged and pleaded with God to just…take it all away, take these filthy disgusting desires and throw them in the deepest sea, and I tried courses and filters and accountability partners and there was no way. Big Problem with a capital P. He told me two things over the years; first, ‘My grace is sufficient for you – my power works best in your weakness’ and second, ‘It’s not about your purity, son…it’s about Mine.’ And then…I learned to look at him, and to focus on his finished perfected work, Christ-in-me-the-hope-of-glory… And I haven’t been able to surrender every part of my life or all my triggers but, when I focus on his perfect purity instead of my imperfect brokenness, suddenly I begin to become a little bit like what I’m looking at.

    So thanks as always for sharing! Blessings (:

    P.S.: I’m so with you on all those articles that just propagate negativity so so much. I’m glad yours make a dent in that tidal wave (:

    1. Hey Carson! Thank you so much for sharing this. What a powerful testimony. You’re right-when we focus on Him and His goodness and purity and grace, we can overcome anything. I’m so glad that you’ve found that freedom in Christ. So glad you stopped by this afternoon! Have a great night! Hugs xox

  32. Great post 🙂 Although it is great to be body proud, it is made ten times better when one realizes how happy one is just to be alive and happy 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂

  33. I still battle with this daily it CAn wear you down if you let it. After being through marriage for 4 years of feeling unwanted as my husband was addicted to porn I’m learning how to recover through God for the past year and a half since he has become free

    1. Hi friend. Thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry you’re having to walk through this trial, but God will see you through. Hang in there. Sending a big big hug xoxoxox

      1. Good article but from someone who has been there… I never wanted to have the disorder I never wanted control of my body I never wanted to loose weight I was in a set of depression and as I had let my self eat very little through that week and I choose to start eating again physically my body had become used to my “new” way of eating and it became harder and harder to eat because my stomach did not want to take it fear was my biggest enemy cause as soon as I would have that pizza in hand I would end up getting nauseous from the feeling fear of getting sick eating it. I know it was crazy and I really had to focus on wanting to do the right thing and know my body was not going to be in good shape if I let fear control.
        Telling a fellow Christian their body is their temple is a good stepping stone but I want to remind people it’s harder than it may look their is a physical and psychological side to it. God can get us through it but it is not an easy road.

      2. Hi again friend, thank you for this powerful perspective. You’re right, every person in on their own journey. And we all struggle with different things. And you’re right, God can get us through it, but we have to do the dirty work too. It’s a team effort. I’m so glad you’re in the freedom of recovery from ED. praise God for that. Hugs and love my friend xox

  34. Oddly enough not so much for me. In order to sleep I have a myriad of things needed plus pain and upcoming surgeries. I can’t train in the cold and have family issues galore. Too much to explain. I can try to do what I can.

    1. Hi friend! I’m sorry you’re experiencing pain. I hope you feel better soon! I agree though – I always sleep better if I’ve been able to have a workout that day. Otherwise I can feel a little restless when I’m falling asleep. Sending hugs and love! and thanks again for the reblog xoxo

  35. I’ve been always afraid of falling under “anorexic” or “mental disorder” line when trying to lose weight, The frustration is quite dangerous cuz it leads to depressive mood n than self-hatred. I’m just lucky my emotions are still controllable n I love myself as long as I work hard. Like your article, as a reminder to stay positive. It’s always a tough journey

    1. Hi friend, thank you for sharing this. Staying is balance is definitely very important. Like you said – loving ourselves is the key. thanks for stopping by! sending you hugs and love xox

  36. Loving your body is a long journey, but every step counts. Glad you’re on your way to better health. Sometimes, it’s easy to fall back. I’ve been in your shoes before too, and I’m still learning to love myself no matter what.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

  37. This was just what I needed! While I have never struggled with anorexia, I have focused on my body way too much in the last few years as I have fluctuated in weight since having 3 beautiful children. I focus more on that sometimes when I look in the mirror, than the soul within and all God has done. Continue to share your story and journey because you reach more people than you know!! God bless!

    1. Hi friend! oh my goodness what encouraging words. Thank you so much. You’re so right – focusing on the fact that God has formed us and is working in us is definitely the way to go! hope you have a beautiful weekend! hugs and love xox

  38. Thank you so much for sharing your journey and your struggles. It’s really inspiring. And I appreciate the chance to know more about something I haven’t personally experienced.

  39. This was such an excellent read and always a great reminder for us to be kind to our body’s, be kind to our minds, and most all our souls. I’m really sorry you had to to see the things you went through. But by gods grace I was so happy to see that you took back control. This is what I loved about this article, because it is about making a change, changing our behavior, and really caring for ourself. Loving what God gave us and making it become our best self. If we really want change than yes we have to take the step to make it. Thank you for sharing this so wonderful.

    1. Hi friend! wow what a beautiful reflection. Thank you for this. you’re right – what we have is a gift from God. And that is worth celebrating and loving. And it deserves to be cared for. thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox

  40. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS! I will admit that I have not experienced a severe form of Anorexia, but deciding to focus on The Lord and the ways He makes me beautiful instead of my physical body itself… You hit the nail on the head!

    1. Thank you so much Claire! Aw, this really touched my heart 🙂 You’re right — He DOES make us beautiful. Praise God for that. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face:) hugs and love xox

  41. “I had to stop seeing myself through my distorted and irrational eyes.” This is truly profound. Any time someone can explain the reality of an experience that is contrary to popular belief, I have to step back and applaud. Thank you for explaining this struggle!

  42. Just discovered your beautiful blog. Thank you for sharing things so openly. I do not sufferer from ED but I do fight Fibromyalgia and whatever we are struggling with, your words offer strength and hope. xxx

    1. Thank you so much for this. I’m so glad that you like my blog and it resonates with you! You’re right- we’re all on different paths but it’s always nice to find encouragement along the way. Thanks for reading! Hugs and love xox

  43. Yes yes yes YES!!!!! Oh my goodness! Somehow you managed to put into words what always seems to bother me about all these messages in the media. I find it disheartening whenever I read another article/tweet/post, etc. that demonstrates just another all-or-nothing viewpoint, one that attacks or tears down others, or fails to appreciate the full scope and depth of the intertwining problems of health, body image, eating, community relationships, family relationships… I could go on and on. And nowhere in the conversation is faith or God or actual love. The turning point in my recovery was when I threw out my scales, threw out or papered over all my mirrors, and boxed up all my clothes. Ignoring my body and focusing on who I am apart from my body, who God made me to be in this world, who I am in the heart he created for me, was what allowed my heart to heal. I never put all of this together before. Thank you!

    1. Hi Lulu! Thank you so much for this powerful comment! I am standing and cheering after reading this my friend. Wow. Focusing on “who I am in the heart he created me for” — amen amen amen. That is so powerful and true and just YES! keep rockin friend:) you are awesome. Hugs and love xox

  44. Amen! We are fearfully and worderfully made; a masterpiece of God. As as we acknowledge and celebrate this, the beauty in us will manifest and we will go places.

  45. Aramaic Bible in Plain English 2 Cor 5:16
    Now therefore, we do not know a person by the body, and if we have known The Messiah in the body, from now on we do not even know him so.

    You are so right on again. We are a culture obsessed by the body, and we so easily forget how much more important the soul and spirit is. I quoted the Aramaic translation of 2 Cor 5:16 cuz it cuts to the chase. What Jesus looks like is irrelevant,
    If that is true ,then how important is what you or I look like, really. Knowing Him is not about visions of His eyes or face, the beatific vision, but rather knowing Him in His suffering , in His values, In His will for our lives.
    BTW thank you for allowing me to repost your blogs.
    affectionately in Christ
    Jack

  46. I think this goes back to sheep: the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I am genetically thin. Many times people has made comments about wanting my metabolism or platelets, thinking that this would resolve their girth-body image issues. I warn them. First, plan to wake up and be ready to go at 5 a.m. regardless of the day of the week. Don’t plan to sit still very often. Find a job/career and leisure interest that allow you to be ocnstantly moving. And, plan to “feed the beast”, as those between meal (healthy) snacks keep the tank from running low on fuel. That eliminates most of those who want to sleep in until 11 a.m. on weekends, put their feet up to watch TV, or some other sedentary tasks, or nash on processed foods.

    You are correct. We should celebrate all shapes and sizes, and recognize the transformation from unhealthy physical lifestyles to healthy one.

    BTW, 5/13/16 was National Blame Someone Else Day, so I was told. 🙂
    Oscar

    1. Hi Oscar! Thanks for sharing this. Wow it sounds like you live a pretty active lifestyle! That’s great. You’re right- we should absolutely celebrate all shapes and sizes. So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

      1. The other day, a co-worker (physical therapist) was talking with a client about the value of being active, especially when someone retires. I happen to be between clients & was moving about the clinic setting up equipment for the next client. As I walked by, I joked, “Oh, are you telling me that I need to be more active?”. His client joked back, “He has sat still since I walked in…” Time for another power bar… 🙂
        Oscar

  47. It’s inspirational that you focus on God and not on the challenging condition that could cripple you. Your words are helping me. I am not anorexic or have any physical disease or disorder, I am challenged by a mental disorder. Your choosing to look to our Savior is totally cool. There is strength in our weakness. His strength. Thank you for reminding me of that.

  48. Hello! Firstly, thanks for the couple of likes you’ve sent my way recently – much appreciated! 🙂 Secondly, thanks for this most important contribution to the issue of “body awareness” – your stepping aside from conventional thinking and seeing the problematic aspects of “Body Positivity Week” are both wise and insightful. Probably unpopular – but, then, prophetic and truthful words are rarely popular. So go well and gently, in grace. PS: I feel a bit awkward not knowing what handle/usename you go by; but understand if there are very good reasons for this. And, besides, a simple hello is an underrated way of beginning a conversation. 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for this comment:) that really means a lot. Hah no worries at all! So I haven’t shared my identity – perhaps one day in the future but for now, I’m just going by BBB. Thank you for asking though. And yes! The beginning of a conversation and friendship☺️ so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  49. I’m glad someone else spotted the Buzzfeed body positivity week – it was really interesting to see not just women but men as well being included. I agree that not focusing on your body does help you to live a happy and healthy life but body positivity isn’t about just the individual, it’s about a collective of people saying we’re not going to allow what other people think to stop us from living our lives fully 🙂

    I really appreciate you sharing your story!

    1. Hi rachel! Thank you for this perspective! you’re right – it is a great movement for encouraging people to live fully. I agree. Thanks for stopping by! Hope you have a wonderful week! hugs and love xox

      1. Also, the first picture with the dragon fruit was, cute. Do you think it’s a bit harder to see the big picture and keeping faith? Mother Teresa talked of a darkness when her efforts were unmet against general society that the greater good is not always, good.

      2. Thank you so much 🙂 It is hard to keep the faith, especially in NYC, but I just have to keep my eyes focused on Him. With Him anything is possible. hugs and love xox

  50. What a brilliant and timely post. Thank you very much. Blessed be for giving us hope in recovery. Wishing you all the best for your beautiful and bright future

  51. Applause!!!!! Well thought-out and beautifully written, so so good! I have a personal question for you: How did you change your mind’s focus? I have a step-daughter with mental illness who takes her meds and sees her psychologist regularly and processes her thoughts with us but just can’t seem to stop or change how her mind focuses on herself and her troublesome thoughts all the time. At this point I’m thinking it will take a powerful work of God but any suggestions are appreciated!! Thanks

    1. Thank you so much Joan! That really means a lot:) oh gosh it was a long process. I couldn’t just stop thinking one way-I instead had to flood my mind with good thoughts- focusing on God and his love. That way I didn’t have room to think about anything destructive. Praying for your daughter xox

      1. Thank you! That helps; it has been a long time since I worked hard at renewing my mind. That sounds kind of bad, but it really isn’t! I went through many years of intense recovery and now mostly focus on the positive and on helping others more naturally. It’s easy to forget how much it took and how I did it, and it was hard enough with a normally functioning brain!

  52. Absolutely love this post. Awhile back I struggled so much with my body. I always seemed to compare myself to my thinner friends and family. I always resented them for being able to eat and not gain weight… My whole life I was chubby, being made fun of in school never helped the situation. I even fell into anorexia “to lose weight.” I found myself with an eating disorder while I was dating this guy, because I never felt secure and attractive with him. I was at the lowest weight I’ve been in a long time. (Unhealthy way) That relationship was before I gave my life to Christ. But then after I started gaining excess weight and had a hard time controling it, until before I got married. I’ve been eating healthier, getting in more exercise and I can proudly say I’m down almost 15 pounds. Closer to my goal weight. 🙂 Your posts are inspiring. I enjoy reading them.

    1. Thank you so much, Stephanie, for sharing this. I’m so happy for you that you’re getting to where you want to be! I’m sorry that we have that similarity in our pasts, but praise God that we’ve both found that freedom! God is good! Thanks for stopping by! sending love and hugs xox

  53. I love how real you are with everyone. We need to share our struggles and encourage and support one another. I have never been anorexic, but I have been on the heavy side because food was my comfort. I didn’t necessarily choose unhealthy food, but I ate too much of it. Nuts are good for you…in a small portion…not the whole can. I am working on portion control right now. I am counting my calories and eating basically 6 small meals a day, or 3 meals with 3 snacks. I have lost about 10 lbs over the last 2 months. I am not loosing weight because I have a body image issue, but because I have a hip and knee issue. I was beginning to hurt most of the time. I want to feel good. My biggest issue right now is to find comfort else where. I thank Jesus for helping me with this. Going to him daily with it and praying when my body wants to eat, but it isn’t time, has been what has brought me success. Each day we are given choices that can affect us tremendously. Lean on Him and His understanding, let Him lead you, and He will make your path straight.

    1. Hi friend, thank you so much. Congratulations on your journey to health! That’s awesome. And amen to that. He really is our strength. Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love cox

  54. Great read, I suffered with bulimia for a large part of my life and I’m still not recovered. But it’s so true, I try not to focus on my body at all…HARD…but it makes sense. Keep it up!

    1. Thank for sharing this khrissy. I’m sorry that you’re going through that. Know that I believe in you:) you’re right-that is hard to do. Thanks for reading. Hugs and love xox

  55. This is solid, solid stuff. I am SO encouraged to hear that your recovery was not based on some sort of self-glorifying, “bopo” (as you say) mentality that the world uses as a band-aid to cover up the underlying issue of our depraved nature. Thank you for your testimony, and I pray that God in His great mercy will deliver you from this trial.

    1. Thank you so much Lily! That really means a lot. God is good and I am so grateful for the healing He’s done in my life. I appreciate you kind words and prayers! Sending big hugs and love xox

  56. This was a really inspirational post. You shared some wisdom that applies to all of us, no matter how “brokenness” manifests in our lives. “I had to see myself through God’s eyes” really nailed it.

  57. Wow. This is such a powerful post. I am grateful to GOD for sending you to minister to girls out there. When I was 14, I struggled a bit with accepting my body. I wasn’t eating enough, and I always thought I was imperfect. But, just as you said, I started to see myself through GOD’s Eyes, and that was how I was delivered.

    #BodyPositivityWeek

  58. I enjoy reading your posts and appreciate your insightful content and fun style. Thanks for doing what you do with excellence. And thanks too for reading and taking the time to like my blog, “The Way Home.” – Shayne

  59. Reblogged this on voguevida and commented:
    Really touching post about body positivity, this is why I started my blog to help girls/woman wordwide wakeup to their incredible natural beauty and amazing body. There is far too much negativity in the media about body shape.

  60. Thank you for this great blog. It’s important not to judge lest you be judged. Helping one another for all the right reasons, finding out the “why” and helping the hurting is the foundation for integrity. The world is a much nicer place with you in it! Keep the courage and stay strong.

  61. Hello hello! Awesome post, followed 🙂

    We’re challenging ourselves to 1 full year of daily blogging, we’re almost there. Loved what you wrote, glad to see other positive people on here. Keep up the good work!!

  62. Been browsing through a few of your blogs and I think you’re doing a fantastic job. I find a lot of inspiration on my own work when ever I look at some of the stuff u do
    Keep it up

  63. amen ! what an amazing response! I just listened to this Seth Godin podcast called Akimbo and the title of the episode is a bit misleading it is called ‘shun the non believers’ – and what it is really about is how you should share your heart and not worry about the haters when you create – you are doing that so well and obviously you were doing it even back when you wrote this – I only hope I can follow in your footsteps! well done! https://www.akimbo.me/blog/s-2-e-12-shun-the-non-believers

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