I’m going to be really honest with y’all.
Growing up, I thought my life was going to have played out a lot differently by now.
I thought I was going to be married at 22, first kid at 23, and…I wanted ten…so…you do the math.
I know. I know. I had high ambitions for my womb at a tender young age.
But it’s true.
Sitting here as a twenty-something, single, watching The Bachelorette
while drinking in my sweatpants and catching myself literally smiling to myself and touching my cheek when my boy Jordan Rodgers comes on the screen…
…I have to step back and simply shake my head.
My life thus far, has taken some pretty major detours, to put it mildly.
Battling anorexia through high school. And then having an Ulcerative Colitis flare for an entire year, resulting in having to move home and be on bed rest for 11 months…let’s just say my adulthood thus far hasn’t been the walk in the park I had envisioned.
And I promise, this is no “Woah is me” post…But the fact is, my life has had a couple of false starts. Hiccups if you will.
Which, let me just say, is a very dangerous game to play.
Don’t go there, guuurlfriend!
But seriously. My chest tightened, and I got almost short of breath, thinking about those things. I was getting panicky. And frankly, angry.
Why hasn’t this happened yet? When am I going to meet someone? What if I never meet someone? Will my life be a failure? Am I a failure?
Like I said….it is a dangerous game. Gets dark real quick.
So what did I do to get out of this funk?
Well, naturally……………….I turned to Twitter.
…and then –BAM — I came across this retweeted gem:
Y’all. The Pope has a freaking Twitter.
I don’t care how you feel about the Pope. That is baller.
But seriously, how is it that God always finds a way to encourage His children?
There is no technological interface that He can’t infiltrate. 🙂
But all kidding aside, this was exactly what I needed to hear:
Jesus, I trust in You.
Everything I’ve gone through, all the detours and restarts and …
periods of stupidity growth opportunities – God is using all of that for good.
He has a plan. A good plan. A plan that most likely looks nothing like my plan.
Clearly not the plan my fourth grade self had for twenty-something me.
But that is what I need to cling to. To keep my hope in. To focus my eyes on.
So, maybe I won’t be gettin’ hitched and poppin’ out kids just yet.
I need to be patient and trust in His divine timing. His will for my life. His plan.
Now is the time for me to take a deep breath and say, “Jesus, I trust in You.”
There it is, plain as day.
The could’a-would’a-should’a’s — I have no reason to worry or be afraid or get all verklempt.
Everything is playing out just as it should.
I’ll hang my hat on that.
Jesus, I trust in You.