Free

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

One thing I love about the Fourth of July is that for an entire weekend, it feels like we’re living in a country music video.

And fun fact: exactly one year ago, I played the “love interest” in an actual country music video 😛

But it’s true: American Flags, beer, fireworks, the outdoors, fireflies, denim shorts and sunburns. All the fixin’s for a bonafide Tim McGraw hit. Minus the key change and crooning southern drawl.

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But there’s another aspect of Independence Day that really speaks to me…and that’s freedom.

That word, obviously aside from Jesus, is really the foundation of my life.

Freedom.

Because I spent a longgggg time without it.


I don’t have to go into the nitty gritty, but during my anorexia, my thoughts were not my own. My actions, the words I spoke, the fears I was crippled with — I was held captive by my disease.

A prisoner of my own mind, unable to escape from that mental strangulation that resulted in me wasting away – physically, mentally, socially, emotionally, and spiritually.

So freedom is not something I take lightly. Or take for granted.

In order to be free, you have to break away. Escape the suppression.

You have to extract yourself from your captive situation.

But the thing about eating disorders is that you cannot do it yourself. Because your mind disorderedly believes that it wants to be in that prison. And even if you vaguely recognize that you “want out,” the execution and follow through is dang near impossible.

Which is why I couldn’t do it by myself.

I needed to be saved.

I needed God to rescue me. And He did.

But you know that.

Freedom.

It is a gift that cost something.

And as a result, it comes with responsibility.

The responsibility to appreciate it.

I think we all, in some form or another, have experienced the magnitude and depth of what freedom actually is.

Maybe you weren’t held captive by anorexia or an eating disorder, but we all can think of things that have held us hostage. Maybe a destructive relationship. Depression. Anger or resentment. Jealousy. Maybe you’ve been plagued with crippling self doubt. Addictions or bad habits – whether it’s substance abuse or excessive online shoe shopping.

There are lots of things that we just can’t break free from alone.

And luckily we don’t have to do it by ourselves.

Freedom, to me, is making peace with my body.

It’s not comparing myself with others.

It’s nourishing my body and taking care of myself.

It’s enjoying time with friends and choosing to say yes to invitations.

It’s forgiving myself of the things in my past and moving forward, believing that I am worth a life of love and peace.

It’s loving God and embracing His love every day.

That’s what freedom looks like to me.

Those are freedoms that I have not always enjoyed, but together with God, they have become a reality.

And it is my responsibility to claim them every day, and appreciate the fact that I am no longer in that dark, desolate place.

I am free.

So this weekend, as we bust out the bottle rockets and roast some s’mores, I’m gonna laugh, because I am free. I can now enjoy time with loved ones and be fully present, no longer plagued with a disordered existence.

But free.

Free to live. Free to love. Free to be loved. 

How are you free?

 

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

205 thoughts on “Free”

    2. Other opinions shouldn’t matter! Other opinions come with biases, jealousies or other evils. Your validation needs to come from God, because He is constant and He knows you better than any other, even yourself. God’s infinite grace will transform your world if you let Him. Have a great day!

      Liked by 3 people

  3. This part of your post made me so happy for you -> “And it is my responsibility to claim them every day, and appreciate the fact that I am no longer in that dark, desolate place.

    I am free.”

    May God bless you always. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. And just for the record: “One thing I love about the Fourth of July is that for an entire weekend, it feels like we’re living in a country music video.” Just a whole bunch of 😆 .

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wooooo! Brilliant! It’s so intriguing listening to you speak about your dark place. You become a prisoner of your own mind during those times. Everything you do gets clouded by bad judgement. To overcome that is well… shoot! That takes inner strength. Your break away is so inspiring for so many girls out there. Society is conditioned to beleive girls/woman should look a certain way, and that is so hard on one’s self esteem. Your story will save many.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I am so impressed by this celebration of the strength that you have found in your relationship with Christ. It expresses not just the “free from” but also the “free to.” It’s a long journey, and though Christ held your hand, you have done the work on yourself that his love made possible. To celebrate that – not just the escape, but also the becoming whole in your own individuaity – is a wonderful way of empowering others to do the same.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Dearest BBB,

    You write in part: “,,,Freedom. It is a gift that cost something. And as a result, it comes with responsibility. The responsibility to appreciate it…” One word response: Amen.

    You ask: “How (am I) free?” As you, I have many ways I can describe my sense, my awareness of my liberty. One way…

    In conversation with dear friends today (one of those occasions when, amidst a casual exchange in the comfort of the safety of bonded relationships, words of depth and truth are shared), I spoke of one of my prevailing demons: my capacity, when hurt, to bear a grudge against my offender. I recognize the tendency, the proclivity within me to do that (it’s not going anywhere!). Yet I also recognize, with deepest gratitude, that I have freedom not to act on the worst of my nature, but rather to live into (in your words, to appreciate and accept the responsibility), verily, to embody the gift I have been by God in Christ through his Spirit, that is, to be and do as he is and does, thus to forgive.

    A blessed 4th of July to you.

    Much love,
    Paul

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Great post! Wishing you a happy, free, independent life. Freedom to me is knowing who you are in Christ, it means dying to your old self everyday and allowing God to transform you. Not worrying about what others think and getting your validation from God not other people, because He is the one that matters. You may lose friends because of it but if they drag you down and distract you from God, then let them go. HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TO ALL AMERICA!! God bless you.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. I know that me coming up short is going to happen more often than not. Freedom is knowing God fills in the cracks and craters of sin. Freedom is all of the people God has put in my life to keep me upright. Freedom is my Julie. Freedom is my daughters. Freedom is friends. Freedom is having God’s love, directly and through theirs. Freedom is this blogging community as we educate, cheer, pray for, and bolster each other.

    Thank you for being part of that freedom. 🙂 Enjoy yours!

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    1. Thanks Jeffrey! Amen to that. He totally fills the cracks. And what a blessing that is. I absolutely love this Jeff – you have been blessed with q lot of freedoms:) that makes me so happy:) thanks for being such a bright spot in my day! Hugs and love to you and yours xox

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I appreciate this post freedom is also a word that resonates with me. As I continue to grow with Jesus I see that he desires us to be free, fully ourselves in free loving relationship with Him and others. I how this has been a blessed day for you!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Your beautiful soul radiates. I’m sorry you had some roughness in your life, but man, you are like a million candles lighting up this world, with your insight and kindness. Here’s to Free! 🎉

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Wait… no one asked you what video you were in?? Whaaaa…? Now that would be fun to watch! Or is that a part of your life the blog world can’t see? Understandable, but a bummer! Happy fourth!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You can start one person at a time. Could make it seem more and more normal. Revealing what I’m going through to the whole world just seems scary. But a few people knowing – that actually helps.

        Like

  25. Great post 🙂 I love what you said in that one paragraph before the last about feeling free to live, love and be loved 🙂 But then again, everything you wrote here is fantastic 🙂 I hope you have a Happy 4th of July and keep up the great work as always 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Thank you so much for this! I still need to choose to be free, choose to follow Jesus, over focusing on my plaguing failures over my lifetime and trust that He has a better way, or yet, He IS the way. Thanks for the reminder!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. On that same wave length of your post (and because you asked 😉 ) I’m free because there is no longer anything to fear; not in the deepest, core sense of the word.

    I would not have true free will if there were fear in my mind and my heart. I would also be incapable of living a life of Love in Christ Jesus, for my fear would keep me from recognizing and receiving and responding to Love.

    In many modern translations, Luke 2:10 reads “Do not be afraid”. Makes sense in that situation.

    But remembering that angels speak more than messages of reassurance– they speak prophetically on behalf of The very Word of God–I think the older translations have a more powerful declaration of an eternal truth: God telling us to stop fearing ~ “Fear not!”

    I could write for hours on the metaphysical and theological implications of this, but core messages such as this can suffer when overworked in our finite minds.

    I just know that the first words recorded that Jesus spoke to his disciples were “Peace be unto you!”~ Luke 24:36

    I am a part of humanity which choose fear over loving obedience from the beginning, while our all-loving and long-suffering God worked with us, guiding us to the day of His Promise, when we could again have the chance to choose not to live in fear, thus being free to Love according to his commandments ~ Matthew 22:36-40

    I fear not, because Christ Jesus has placed His Peace in my heart, while “trampling down death by death”, giving me the freedom to overcome fear, and Love as He commanded.

    Kýrie eléison! + + +

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Gordy! wow what a beautiful reflection! Thank you for sharing this. You’re right-“fear not” is so powerful! And it came straight from Jesus’ mouth–so no arguments there! Haha thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  29. if you remember Janis Joplin, you will remember that she sang, “Freedom’s just another word/For nothing left to lose”… It is another interesting way of looking at things

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey Rajiv! Thank you for sharing this. You know, I honestly don’t know many (if any) Joplin lyrics! 😬 but that’s an interesting perspective. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

      Like

  32. Your introduction made me homesick for my native Texas where daily life is a country music video. You were in a real live music video as a love interest? Wonderful. Excessive on-line shoe shopping, now there’s a temptation. You are young and tiny, but your words are packed with depth and meaning. I mentioned you to a friend who son was held captive by depression. Your insight helps me understand his “disordered existence.” I’m very proud of your courage and celebrate your freedom.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi friend! Aw-yeah I’ve only been to Texas once but Wow was it beautiful! Thank ou for your kind words. And for passing my blog along. I will definitely keep him in my prayers. Hugs and love xox

      Like

  33. Hope you had an amazing Independence (from us british xD) day BBB :D. I have had a difficult 2-3 weeks which sadly has made me get back in touch with the docs/counselors

    Liked by 1 person

  38. Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom! Thank you for your testimony. And you nailed it when you said that the 4th of July was like living in a country music video! ‘Merica! 🎆☺

    Liked by 1 person

      3. Hi BBB, I just want to say that I have not forgotten about my duty to God’s people with the writing of devotionals. I’ve just been extremely busy with a very special calling. I took a break from social media as well until my college classes start. When they do, you can tune in on your radio dial or the web. Pray nightly for me as I will do the same for you. Go yea forward. Make Jesus smile…..

        Like

  42. I LOVE your take on the Fourth of July! Reading you today was like celebrating the holiday all over again! Hugs for your journey to YOUR personal freedom found! …and thank you for visiting me on 34th Street!
    w/L

    Liked by 1 person

  43. Beautifully written! It’s like you can take all my thoughts and emotions and put them into words…I’m working on freedom from the comparison game. From never feeling good enough. Your posts are encouraging. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

  44. sending blessings, smiles, and thankfulness your way. this post is amazing. it reminds me that it is okay to be super passionate about life. To celebrate my freedom from anxiety..and to keep enjoying light and adventures 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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