Truly Living

Fun experience the other day:

6am. The butt crack of dawn. And I’m in a cab to the airport.


And the driver is blaring some Caribbean reggae music.

Like I think he was trying to seance Bob Marley or something because this iswas loud.

But honestly, while a lot of other people probably would have been annoyed, I frankly loved it.

This guy was just so all about it.

He was like jammin’ in his seat, dancing, singing along sometimes. It was really entertaining.


I have never seen someone with so much life, – so much joy ­­– especially not at 6am.

And ever since seeing the life that guy had in him, I have been more observant. More aware, more in tune with those moments that I’ve felt truly alive in my own life.

I was just on vacation in the middle of nowhere up by the border of Canada. Deep in the woods. On a lake. No cell service. Barely any internet. Just my family. The lake. And the bears.

I mean, this place is remote.

We’re talking, you search it on Google Maps, and there isn’t any data on it.

I know — how this place escaped the government satellites that curate that shiz is some high powered ninja stealthiness.

But I digress.


I was whizzing across the empty lake on the jet-ski with it going full throttle and I felt it. The wind crisp in my face, reminding me that I’m alive. Life.

Watching my little niece splash in the water. Hearing her squeal with joy as she swam and was delighted in by her family. Life.

Sitting with my mom under the stars, in awe at the magnitude of the universe and God’s incredible imagination. Life.

Laughing with my brothers around the pool table and getting a side ache from the non-stop laughs. Life.

Hugging my dad on the dock as the sun was setting, hearing him whisper that he’s proud of who I am, and that he loves me. Life.

These were moments this trip that I just had to take a mental picture of.

They were times that I was all there. Just like my cabbie – I was in the moment, soaking it all up.

And it made me remember that there were definitely times — even at this very lake house that we’ve had since I was a little girl — when I was not truly living.

When I was a shell of myself, trapped in my anorexia.

And it’s remembering that time of just barely existing, that makes me truly appreciate living abundantly. Living and grabbing onto life with both hands and squeezing out all the juice.

I think a lot of times, we feel that in order to be living life in abundance, we have to be hitting the hottest nightclubs, or driving the swankiest car, or wearing the most expensive kicks, or throwing the most Pinterest-worthy birthday or bachelorette party.

We think that living is tied to the material.

But I was talking with my sweet little three-year-old niece at the end of the trip, and I asked her what her favorite part of the trip was.

And without hesitation, she said it was building rock projects with us on the beach.

Not the fancy Wii game. Not the latest and greatest toy with all the bells and whistles.

But just quality time with her loved ones. Literally playing with rocks. #FlinstoneStyle

I think living in NYC has really awakened in me a deep gratitude for the time I do have with my family. We have been through a lot together, obviously, and there is no one else that knows me the way they do.

And living in the city, I have had a lot of exciting experiences. Once in a life time, really. But no matter what, the moments when I feel like I’m truly living are when I am with my family.

Maybe it’s laughing up a storm over some beer pong in the basement, or maybe it’s just a quiet cup of coffee with my mom when we’re talking about life.

It’s the people that you share life with, that enrich your time here on earth and allow you to truly live. That’s what living means to me.

At the end of the day, everyone experiences that rush of life differently. Maybe it’s through music like my cabbie. Maybe it’s through dance, or art. Maybe it’s through playing sports or running, or taking care of kids, or being with family.

Whatever it is, when you find it, hold onto it. Because that’s how we’re supposed to live.

I have come that you may have life and have it to the full.” John 10:10

So thanks, Mr. Cabbie, for so exuberantly demonstrating living. I applaud your joyful existence. Especially when I was zombie eyed at 6am.

You reminded me to truly live. To be alive.

How do you feel alive? 







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175 thoughts on “Truly Living

  1. Not sure if this comment went through the first time, so here goes again, lol! I felt incredibly alive yesterday roller-blading on a path surrounded by a pond with two swans that were the most dazzling white you could imagine. Canada geese and ducklings nearby, the sun was shining brightly and I don’t think the endorphins could have gotten much higher! I looked around, I only had twenty minutes to myself that day and I thought,”My God is awesome to have created this! Thank-you!” Your blog posts are beautiful and from the heart. Love them!


  2. Man! Seems like you had a nice vacation! I myself find when I am in nature (even if it’s at a regional park) I find myself in peace. It’s like I am not depressed and anxious anymore. Being around nature helps negate the “noise” of the world.


  3. This post really hit me in the feels. ❤ lol

    It's interesting how each of us have these demons that keep us from living. Like you, I have demons and a past that kept me from living. I was there, but my mind was always somewhere else. Just the past week have I experienced a few things that have made me think "Wow. I'm really happy. I hope this never ends."

    Those moments, family. My sister turned 14 this week and we decked out our pathfinder and deemed it the "Birthday Wagon". We picked her up from a camp she was staying at and kidnapped her for the day. I lived in the moment with my sisters, my mom and my nephew the entire day. It's not just my family, but my boyfriend's family, too. His mom has shown me the kind of love that my own mom shows me and it helps me live in the now. I spent a lot of time fantasizing what it would be like to be married, have a big family, have a boyfriend with a family who loved me. It's honestly an answer to prayer. I feel like instead of fantasizing, I am living exactly what I dreamt of for so long.

    Beyond all of that, what keeps me living is my passion to share my story so that God gets the glory for who I've become and what I am in spite of all the crazy things my family and I have endured.


  4. It’s inspiring to see how you’ve turned things around. I struggle sometimes with how to help people close to me. A few years ago when I was going through some tough times a therapist strongly recommended I go on anti-depressants for a short time. They said that if you’re in a funk for more than two weeks, the brain starts to re-wire itself to stay in the funk. So they’re pro-meds to help people keep the funk from being permanent. I resisted because I felt like I was already turning it around, because I’ve always been against those mood/personality altering meds (sometimes irrationally), and because I felt like I had a good reason to be in the funk, something had triggered it, I’d spent a life-time avoiding feelings so this time I wanted to experience it.

    But I have friends who are so negative about things and have problems being happy and seeing the good and the possibilities before them. And some are already religious, so I can’t help by introducing them to Christ. At this point, I do start wondering if more isn’t needed. Lots to think about, but thanks for this post.


  5. Yeah, how true..! Each one of us has this capacity to live to the fullest of our capabilities as given to us by our maker, but most often than not, we get bogged down by what’s happening around us, to us or even within us…..but then something comes along, though very insignificant, that has the power to lift our sagging spirits and make us appreciate this thing called life…
    Really enjoyed reading your post..thanks!


  6. Oh beautiful post…
    It gave me all ecxitement, freedom, calmness , positivity and hope at once. All in one.
    I have a question; the pictures in ur blog..are they designed by you or from the web?
    I feel alive by writing and sipping blacktea, it gives me mental peace more than anything. Plus i really enjoyed reading about your family time and you having fun with them.lots of love to your dad.maybe you can write a post on your family also? What say? We’d love to read if you have got one already. Your posts always bring my inner happiness ya 🙂


  7. I purchased a bike a little less than 2 weeks ago and I’ve felt so good about it. I go out and ride for an hour every evening once I get home from work. It brings me back to childhood and it’s just great. I can’t wait to ride at the beach this weekend. Going to leave the electronics at home and just enjoy.


  8. Hi! Thanks for dropping by The Escritorium recently, you’re hilarious and heartwarming. 🙂 So great to see you taking a great big bite out of life and making the most of it despite, maybe even because of, the tough times, Stay strong, stay smiling. ~ P ~


  9. Reblogged this on Unmeasured Journeys and commented:
    I love this post so much, that I’m just going to let you read it. This is how I feel about my own family, too.

    PS Mom, you’ll love the videos she has on it!

    Thank you, Beauty Beyond Bones, for being such a beautiful light in this world, and for letting me share this post!


  10. Great post 🙂 Once one gets out and does a lot, they really truly begin to understand why life is so joyful and more than worth living. Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂


  11. I could almost have written this post. I’ll be on my own remote lake in Maine in two months. Vacation. One week of solitude with my dog. Hiking, camping, swimming, canoeing. I feel
    most alive outdoors. Day or night.


  12. Just stumbled upon your blog and this post, and I love it! So much inspiration and good feels!
    I totally agree gratitude is the root of joy. Since practicing daily gratitude I feel so much happier about where I am at in life.

    And to answer your question, I feel most alive outdoors. In any beautiful outdoor setting, I feel absolute bliss.

    Thanks for sharing!

    Kendra |


    1. Oh my gosh thank you so much Kendra! I’m so glad you’ve enjoyed your time on my blog! oh yes, gratitude really puts things in perspective. Thanks for stopping by! Sending massive hugs to you friend xox


  13. Its really an awesome post….Thank you for sharing your thoughts…I feel you have pen down all my thoughts into this post….Really are we “Truly Living”??
    I am staying in a metro city away from my family.Whenever I go home I feel like I am having great quality time with my family , I dont feel this in my metro city.All I feel is I am running 5 days a week.
    I can feel the difference between the Metro life and my home life.
    Its really a great post…


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