Big Announcement

I had a really interesting experience last night.

In case you haven’t heard, NYC is smack dab in the middle of a full on heat wave.

Like, it is H.O.T.

Not even the shade Kimye has been throwing Taylor Swift recently could cool things off in the concrete jungle.

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It’s sticky. Muggy. And humid. With no relief in sight.

And that means only one thing:

It’s time to get crazy. 😉

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But for real though, bring on the frozen margs. 🙂

So in true Manhattan fashion, my friends threw a rooftop party last night, because, apparently masochism is a thing now.

JK JK, it was actually quite pleasant, once you came to terms with the fact that you weren’t leaving without sweat stains and frizzy hair.

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But at this little soiree I ended up having a really interesting conversation with a guy I had just met.

Maybe it was the fact that I had drank 2 vodka/sodas, or the fact that the guy was happily married, so there was no pressure to impress him, but I basically ended up telling him my entire life story.

Now before I go on, let me just say three things: First, this is suuuuuper unlike me. I very rarely talk about myself. Especially not with people I have just met. Secondly, I don’t want to give you the impression that I had this guy cornered and was like, word vomiting all over this poor guy. He was the one driving the conversation and asking questions and keeping it rolling. And Thirdly, this was in no way a romantic/scandalous situation. Yes, he was married. No, he was not hitting on me. No, I was not flirting/trying to flirt with him. We were two young adults having a conversation.

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So back to the story:

I literally told him everything. (Minus the anorexia in my past). But I told him about my faith, about the year I was on bedrest from my Ulcerative Colitis, about my thoughts on the hookup dating culture, about politics (eek!) — I even told him about the year I was the president of my sorority in college. (I don’t even think I’ve written about that on here yet, but goodness gracious is that a doosey!)

Long story short, I really opened up to this young man.

And thinking back this morning about that evening, I was shocked with how transparent I was.

But there was something that he said to me at the end of the night that stuck with me.

He said, “Wow, you were definitely not how I expected you to be.”

And when he said this, I paused, and took it in, but I didn’t ask him to elaborate on it.

Because, the truth is, that’s not the first time someone has said that to me.

I can probably recall 10+ times when I’ve met someone, and they’ve told me at the end of the encounter, “I totally thought you were going to be a b*tch.”

And every time, I kind of half-laugh, and go…”Thank you?”

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But let’s face it: at first glance, you could probably make that snap judgment about me. Last night, I was wearing short shorts, wedges and a fashionable tank, while drinking a vodka soda.

I went through sorority recruitment. Believe me, I know how that reads.

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But, as with everyone, there is more than what meets the eye.

Looking back at that night, I am so grateful to that guy for allowing me to open up. That was a gift: Allowing me to share who I am. What I believe. What I’ve been through. And accepting me.

Showing who you are is really scary. And to have someone receive that without judgement or criticism – it’s really a beautiful and selfless thing.

And I think that’s why this whole blogging adventure has been so life-giving. The love and acceptance and support YOU have offered has touched my heart so much and been so healing, I can’t express the gratitude I have for you, reading this.

But as I’ve talked about in recent posts, I’m slowly coming to realize that who I am is okay.


My story does not make me unlovable.

My past is a part of who I am that has shaped who I am today. And I’m getting more and more comfortable sharing that with people.

In fact, I almost want to.

Which leads me to my announcement.

When I was home, I got an early birthday present. A camera.

And….

I can’t believe I’m about to type this…

But I think I’m finally ready, after a year and a half of blogging, to share who I am.

Because, I realize that that is the last and final step in the journey of self love.

When I can say that, Yes, I have all these broken pieces in my past, but I accept and love myself anyways. I am willing to take ownership of my history and the not-so-pretty parts of it, because that is not where my worth comes from. My worth comes from God making me, and Jesus dying for me. 


So…that camera…

I’m going to make a video, formally introducing myself. To you. Who, like this young man last night, have been so open and receptive to the bumbling, mess of a human I am.

I want you to know me. Because I’m finally ready to own up to all of me. All the gross, painful, and less-than-lovely parts of my past. God has forgiven me of all of it. And accepts and loves me just the same. It’s time I do too.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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317 thoughts on “Big Announcement

  1. I had wondered if it was just my imagination that your pictures were showing more of you. Bravo!!!

    On one hand, I tend to have my best conversations with married women because I’m not trying to impress them, because they’re safe. So that aspect I totally understand.

    We are always our own worst critics. You’ve a far healthier attitude about yourself than I do about myself. Same God. Same sacrifice. Same forgiveness….just not as well sunken in and accepted as yours is. We know it’s the voice of the fallen one, tormenting us, like Screwtape. But I’m glad that THIS time, for whatever reason, you HEARD that affirmation and listened to it. That you accepted what Christ knows, that you are beautiful in His eyes. And in ours.

    Take your time on the video…don’t be perfectionistic but be comfortable with the introduction. And know that we on this side of the electrons will appreciate and love you only more for it
    cheers!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aw thank you. Your words really spoke to me. You’re right-you know me too well-I’m really having to fight the perfectionist in me. I did a “test shoot” to try out the camera and I didn’t really do my make up or put effort into my outfit or anything, but I think I may just use the footage. Because…it doesn’t heave to be perfect:) so thanks for saying that. Great reminder. Hugs and love xox

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  2. i will cover you in prayer as you prepare for your reveal as Satan usually attacks us the most (with fear & self-doubt to name a few,) as we are preparing to do ‘good works’ for Him! And I feel as if that is EXACTLY what you are about to do! Your profession of ‘who you are’ will mean so much more than just a ‘name to a face’; but rather a brave proclamation to say: “I am His! Made in His likeness and His image!” And how beautiful that will be…beyond your bones taken from Adam… because lest we not forget…God doesn’t make junk, because God never makes mistakes! Hugs & Blessings to you as you continue to be Brave!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Dawn! I really appreciate your prayers. And that is so true. But God is greater! I will rest in His peace. Amen to that-he does NOT make mistakes! Thanks for this beautiful encouragement tonight. It was just what I needed. Hugs and love xox

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  3. Each and every time you post, I marvel at how beautiful you are and how far you have come from your first post. I see God working in and through your life and I look forward to your video blog. I guess what amazes me the most is that you are “real”, sharing your stories and not sugarcoating life. Keep doing what you’re doing, you have touched my life. Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh my gosh Carlene, you are so sweet. Thank you so much 🙂 God is good and I am so grateful for the healing He’s done in my life. I have a lot to be grateful for. And you are one of them 🙂 Sending you the biggest hugs xoxox

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Just bumped into your blog and I could see everyone’s excitement about your plan. More power on you, you got one more fan today. 🙂

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  5. how exciting! One step forward and you know now that you can open up without judgement. I too have heard the whole ” I thought you were going to be a bitch!!!” but low and behold, I am probably the farthest thing from it. You have come so far and I have just jumped on your wagon but WAY TO GO! I don’t know you but I am so proud of you for going one more step up on the ladder! Also, When is your birthday?!

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  6. I’ve been thinking about how we don’t live our own lives when we hide who we are or live to please others. We end up living someone else’s version of our lives, not God’s version. Not the real thing. The consequence is that we never truly meet ourselves, or know ourselves. What a blessing that you are deciding to be even more yourself, the person that God created as “wonderful” so says the psalmist.

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  7. Hi there, first I’d like to say, I really like the name of your blog “Beauty Beyond Bones”, creative and clever 🙂 Secondly, I haven’t read your full story yet (here), but I’d like to know your story via watching your videos, so I’m looking forward to it. And last, but not least, thanks for the likes on my posts!

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  8. TripleB -When I read this – I was left thinking about a hymn I heard once – “Jesus, take me as I am.” As always when we reach out to others – the mirror they hold up to us can be quite profound. When we reach out to Jesus, as you know, His simple approach is to stretch out His hand for us to clasp it. I’m sure you have found, or are finding, that the new gift of new life you have is in realising that if you hold on to the hand of Jesus, you can let go of everything else. May many blessings come your way – for with Jesus, everything is a blessing. See my next blog – dedicated to you, your strength and the encouragement you give others. God Bless!

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  9. Pingback: Jesus takes you as you are – God Sees Everything

  10. You are definitely not how I expected you to be and that’s really amazing. Who you are is so much more. The consciousness of your soul is flowering in its own rhythm. Nothing is wrong with that. You are beautiful with every single experience of your life, every particle of your body and every line of your story.

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