Swiping for Love

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Warning.

This is a post about my love life.

Or rather…lack there of.

You guys, I have a confession…I recently joined the dating app, Bumble.

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It was a moment of weakness. I was out with friends and my inhibitions were…how should I say…compromised. (Dang tequila…)

But my friends made a profile for me and…whatever. It’s honestly been kind of fun to just swipe through and see who’s out there.

But here’s the thing. Bumble is the dating app where women have to message first…in the first 24 hours, or the match goes away.

And if you’ve read even 5 words of my blog, I think you can probably infer that…..I hate that.

And you would be correct. I am literally as traditional as they come, so reaching out and messaging first goes against absolutely every fiber of my wannabe-June-Cleaver being.

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But I eventually worked up the courage to do so. At first, my friends had to take my phone and message for me. Then, they would just be there for moral support, and finally, I have recently been able to message first.

So we’d have a couple back and forth texts, but as soon as I would get asked out for coffee or drinks, I would always, just…ghost. I’d not respond. Hang up. Goodbye. Nice knowing ya.

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Because, honestly…dating is scary for me. Being in your twenties and being a virgin has a lot of, shall we say, complicated baggage to go along with it.

Sex is just something that isn’t even batted an eyelash at anymore. There’s the “three date rule” and nowadays, with the online hookup culture, that timeline has become even shorter.

No judgement here, it just isn’t on the table for me. I’m saving myself for my husband. Period. And I love that decision. But it just makes dating, well….slightly terrifying.

He’s going to dump me the second he can’t take me home. I’m going to be a waste of his time. He’s going think I’m a freak. He’s gonna think I’m a clinger. What am I going to say?

And honestly, I’ve been able to handle it with grace thus far. I’ve been able to communicate my decision, and the guys have been incredibly respectful. And stuck around.

Granted…I didn’t meet those guys on the internet…

But I digress. Back to Bumble.

There’s something about your mid twenties where things just all of a sudden get serious. It’s like overnight, everyone and their brother are getting engaged. Getting married. Announcing pregnancies. Buying houses. Becoming doctors. It’s like…there’s no more “when I grow up” mentality, because, news flash…you’re there, buddy. You’re living it.

I have always had a vision for my life. When I’d get married. When and how many kids I was going to have. You know…

And I’m rapidly approaching my “kill-me-if-I’m-not-married-by-then” age. As is…it’s two years away.

A little mental math here…one year engagement, at least one year of dating…

Anddddd cue the internal freak out.

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So just this afternoon, I was texting my friends in a group chat, and half joked that I was going to hand over my Bumble profile to my mom. Have her manage it. Set me up with a gentleman that she thinks would be good husband material and the right guy for me.

#motherknowsbest

And, of course, I was saying it mainly for the laugh. But I would by lying if I said I didn’t actually think about it seriously.

And as I was sitting in church today, my mind drifted back to that text message I sent.

And I realized…Holy crap, Caralyn. That’s actually what I’m supposed to do. 

Not hand over my dating life to my mother. But to my Father. My Heavenly Father.

Here I am, giving myself a hernia about time tables and cute opening lines, and which emoji I should use to communicate just the right amount of cute/sassyness without being desperate or overbearing.

I can just hand it all over.

Let Him control it.

Now, I’m not saying that God is going to control my Bumble profile. Come on, that’s lunacy. But I am going to be open to the men God brings into my life. I am going to be open to being vulnerable and putting myself out there.


And I’ve decided that my goal for September is to go on one date. Actually say yes to an invitation (maybe from Bumble, maybe not) and be emotionally open. And I’m counting on y’all to hold me accountable to that. 🙂

I shouldn’t be scared to date because I’m afraid of a couple raised eyebrows at my choice to  save myself until marriage. Clearly, the right guy will appreciate that, and I trust that God will bring that guy into my life.

I just have to hand it over.

Give Him the reins and as they say, fuh-gedduh-bout-it.

Anywho. That’s all for tonight. Thanks for being my personal relationship therapist.

Send me your invoice 😉



What’s one way you’re going to put yourself out there this month?

**MOM’S RESPONSE


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345 thoughts on “Swiping for Love”

  1. awesome article. My name is nick and I run the blog http://www.nickelsack.com

    In addition to being an art and music journalist, I’m a recovering drug addict and also a Drug Counselor in Texas for teenagers aged 14-17.

    Many of my adolescent clients deal with ED and I always refer them to your blog. Thanks for what you do.

    I also joined bumble. I found the dating app culture to be superficial, and shortly after deleted my account.

    On Mon, Sep 12, 2016 at 5:59 PM, BeautyBeyondBones wrote:

    > beautybeyondbones posted: “Warning. This is a post about my love life. Or > rather…lack there of. You guys, I have a confession…I recently joined > the dating app, Bumble. It was a moment of weakness. I was out with friends > and my inhibitions were…how should I say…comprom” >

    Liked by 5 people

  2. A way I’m putting myself out this month is going to be making friends at university. I’m going to force myself to be social and get to know people which is on a way lower level than what you’re doing but probably equally as mortifying. At any rate, I wanted to tell you that any guy who doesn’t respect your decision to save your virginity isn’t worth a minute of your time. I may not have any experience with romantic relationships but I have experience with respect and it goes both ways. That’s all! Good luck!

    Liked by 3 people

      1. You’re welcome and thank you for the encouragement! I really want to put myself out there more now that I’m in university and everyone’s a complete stranger. I mean I could be someone totally different than who I was in high school and nobody would ever know. Funny thing is I am!

        Like

  3. My background is dramatically different from yours, but we share (a) not dating at present, and (b) fairly afraid of it. As a male, Bumble sounds wonderful to me. Making the first move scares me even more than it does most men. We also share (c) turning it over to a Higher Power. My efforts to run my own life without Greater Power help varied from comical to tragic, but never approached success. Your God will show you the next thing you need to do, one thing at at a time, over and over. That’s all either of us needs to know.

    Liked by 2 people

    2. As I have read the comments, I have noticed I didn’t really cover some of the ideas people have, and some of them are important.

      First, please don’t let some men tell you how all men are only focused on lust and/or manipulation. Some are. So are some women. (I’ve dated a few of them. I’m 59 years old and it’s part of life.) That’s not everyone in any group or setting. They exist, but they probably are not a majority. Many more are simply not the person the searcher seeks, but a reasonable level of openness and the ability to notice important things being hidden will resolve those issues.

      My one online dating experience is best summed up as, “I really knew better, but I wanted to see what happened.” I see it as several relatively painless lessons combined in one relationship.

      However, be careful. I have an online friend who has been sensible and practical her entire life. She found a religion she dedicates herself to. When she found a man through a dating site based on that religion, he said absolutely every religious, spiritual, and devotional thing she ever wanted to hear, and he told a good story about his life. She had already sold her house in order to have flexibility in her situation, and she moved to another state and married that man in the church and legally. She was deliriously happy until he stole every cent of her money and kicked her out of the house. She is disabled. The legal sanctions of marriage have made it impossible for her to do anything about her money, and she lives in deep poverty today, eight or ten years down the road. Obviously, hers is not the only experience of online dating based on religion, but this is a cautionary tale. When you are in touch with strangers, listen carefully to the quiet inner voice of your God telling you who you are “really” talking to, and don’t let professions of religion, even beautiful ones, be your sole concern.

      Beyond that, be careful about arguing with your God. If this is the time you meet a man you can spend your life loving, that’s great and you probably can’t avoid it except deliberately. If not, not. I also disagree with people who believe they can and should meet, love, and marry exactly one person on a planet with seven billion people and counting. I once believed that and it only led to perfectionism and constant disappointment.

      Take a chance or two in the understanding that God will bring you through whatever you are supposed to do and learn. My friend whose lifestyle was destroyed by a person has not lost her faith. It has carried her through all her adventures. Yours can carry you through love, marriage, and whatever follows or it can carry you through whatever awaits. Blessed be.

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      1. Oh my gosh that is just awful what happened to your friend! I am so sorry to hear that. Yeah there can be slimeballs online for sure. I’m just so sorry that she fell prey to one. You’re right-always have to listen to that small voice. Xoxoxo

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  4. This might come as a real shocker, but there really are men out there ~ more than you might suspect ~ who really are looking for a beautiful young woman of upstanding character and integrity, who is saving herself for marriage. God bless you for your commitment, and have an awesome date this month! I’m sure you will! 🙂

    Liked by 4 people

  5. I have a friend with 9 children. So far, each one has married a virgin (guys and gals). In fact, it was a criterion for his children. They each are looking for another Catholic who has the same commitment to their faith, and this is one area that they think is crucial for them. At times, my friend did not think there were five guys and four gals out there. (As of today, four of his daughters and two of his sons are married. A few are just finishing college.)

    Liked by 3 people

  6. Just the tiniest quibble… Although we have much in common with cattle and other grazing creatures, we do like to think of ourselves as “who’s out there, rather than “what’s out there.” Not me, mind you, but the general population of male suitors. I passed my “sell by” date some decades ago….

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha. Life has a strange way of giving you what you need when you stop focusing on what you want.

        Focus on your own personal happiness. In loving yourself, you open yourself up to love from others.

        Stay in touch.

        Eli

        Like

  9. If anything, I’d think the GUY would be a little intimidated of YOU because you’re the popular blogger. 😉 Not that I’d expect you to post his life story in here after a succcessful first date or anything, but still. 🙂

    Oh, how I pray that Christians who maintain their purity would take joy in their conviction. Never see this as a liability. Men who don’t respect your convictions are not worth your time and are not any kind of verdict on you. I know it’s nerve-wracking. But I pray God will raise your chin today and give you boldness.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. And you make this announcement a third of the way through the month 😀 Which means you have only 18 days to say yes….
    No pressure! None. At. All.
    Gee….and I’m way away in Maryland…LOL! (and was working on my blog as you were doing yours!)

    Seriously, I would commend you on being open. That’s the tough part. Don’t worry about whether it happens this month, or next. The big goal is to be O P E N to the opportunity, the possibility, the nudging of the Spirit.
    And to not be discouraged if it takes a wee bit longer than you want.

    And if you think the market for twenty-something virgins is small, it yuuuge compared to the market for older, divorced, nerdy engineers!!

    Good luck sister!
    Hugs xox

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahah I know I realized that as I was rereading that…I was like…it’s September 12! Shoot! Hahah I know…yikes! Thanks for your encouragement. You’re right-being open is the big thing. And listening for the spirit. Thanks for being you:) big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m going to post her response at the end as a footnote i think because it’s awesome: “I want to reassure you that you don’t need to put any pressure on yourself, sweetheart. just be open. god will reveal his plan for you when the time is right.” Boom. she is a rockstar 🙂 thanks for reading. xox

      Liked by 5 people

  12. I wonder if your anxiety about people understanding your decision is keeping you from seeing the opportunity in this situation. If you totally own your decision and are confident about it, I bet a lot of men would be in awe of you, and might even seriously reconsider their own decisions in life. Maybe God is sending you on a mission here.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. That was a very inspiring post. I like you have decided to save my virginity for the man I choose to spend the rest of mu life with. When I first made that choice I was afraid because I got back a lot of criticism from my friends at the time. I’m only 21 and it has been something on my mind because a lot of the men I would talk to would be turned off by the fact that I was not looking for a sexual relationship. However your post really gave me that little boost of courage to stick to my decision. Thank you!!!!

    Liked by 3 people

  14. “There’s something about your mid twenties where things just all of a sudden get serious. It’s like overnight, everyone and their brother are getting engaged. Getting married. Announcing pregnancies. Buying houses. ” I totally get how that feels.

    Some of the girls I knew when I was a kid suddenly are all married and have like a whole flotilla of kids of their own. Which is just weird to me. Especially since I don’t particularly feel that old. 🙂

    May God guide the right guy your way. 😀

    Liked by 2 people

  16. I LOVED this post! It reminded me of my many journeys to “find love” on my timetable. For years, I “said” I was ok with my singleness with one eye on the sky like, “see, God, I’m ready for love!” But it wasn’t until I was really and truly ok with being single. On Valentine’s day in 2007, God finally granted me acceptance. I journaled “Help me to embrace my singleness and where you are leading my life right now. I know you have my best in mind. You are so good to me!” It was the first time in my life I could truly admit I was ok with being single. I was also at a point in my life where I was done with guys liking me at first and then when I was truly myself, they’d be all “oh, that’s who you really are? Ummmm, excuse me, gotta run.” Two days later, I met a guy and decided I would be myself. I held nothing back. I was me. My attitude was “if he doesn’t like who I am, better to get it out of the way now.” Turns out, that was the one God had for me. Two crazy years later, I married that guy (which the story of how we met was crazy in and of itself). So, all this to say, God is a MUCH better love story writer than we are. So, be you, the right guy will like you for you. 🙂 Good luck!

    p.s. As for putting myself out there this month, I guess it would be sharing my book (a devotional for Christian business owners) with another early reader! I have 3 readers now, but I think I’ll share it with someone else!

    Liked by 3 people

  18. God Bless you!! Sending many hugs. I did exactly what you have done. The difference is, I had to do it in the age before there was such instant dating inquiry. Back then it was “personals” or what, and they seemed creepy too. I just put it in God’s hands and came out for the better. You will too. You are beautiful, intelligent, and a gift. You will be given that love that you seek I have no doubt. xoxoxo

    Liked by 2 people

      1. xox I needed that too. Pray for me. I have a bit of a battle to fight (via my prostate) nothing serious to panic about now, but its on a watch. I go back to the Doc’s on the 30th to ask questions etc.. I got this news just on Friday. I’ll do what I can. Supposedly its been caught now and can be taken care of, so that is certainly a blessing from God. So many you hear either didn’t know about something or didn’t do anything et…Sending love your way too!

        Like

  21. What a great and relatable post. I think we all struggle in one aspect or another to be vulnerable. People see it as being weak but it takes so much courage and faith to be vulnerable. Praying that God brings the right person into your life ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  22. I must say wow, I would not have thought that you were a virgin. Not that you talk in a manner that suggests otherwise and I know you have been through a lot and sometimes that has us stay away and sheltered while helping ourselves and sometimes the opposite. I would have thought to be a bit more talkative to you when i was in NY and would have wished to find out more about you that is not something to do on WP. I am the opposite of you but people would not know it as i do not advertise it and I guess I hide it as far as my experience goes. As far as you saving yourself for a husband, good for you and I would guess many a man would want to change your mind about it. If they cared and had experience they would not be needy to be the one. I know you will find someone and your blog has become more aggressive and telling and I think that will have you finding more of a pool to choose from. I believe in you and think you will get what type of man that you deserve.:)

    Liked by 3 people

      3. I think you would certainly be worth waiting for as you are so much and have so much to give. You are all someone could wish for in anyone:)

        Like

  24. I love your attitude and you’re right, the right man will be more than happy with your choice to wait. I didn’t meet my man until I was 30 and that was after a failed engagement. I had an age I thought I would be married by (28) and I did the same calculating in my head. Turns out my life is pretty damn fabulous even if it didn’t quite work out the way I “planned”.

    I hope you have come fabulous dates (and a couple of crappy ones too to help you appreciate the awesome ones). I look forward to reading about them.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Trust me I did it all, the calculating if we meet, then date for this long then I’m going to be this old before we even start thinking about kids….We’ve been together now 9 years, 2 kids, ok so I kind of skipped the marriage step but that worked for us. I was on dating sites when I met him (plenty of entertaining stories there!!!) but we met completely by random in an airport when we were both travelling home from holidays. A completely off hand comment by him led to one thing then another. It would have been so easy for us to miss that connection but we didn’t because obviously it was meant to be. Hugs. I know it can be tough at times. Enjoy the clean house and the peace and quiet before the kids come along!!!

        Like

  26. Lovely, heartfelt post, as always. 😊

    Out of curiosity, is there some kind of Catholic equivalent to JDate? If there’s some Catholic seeking Catholic site, it might be easier to find someone who shares your values than on a general meet up/dating site. (Not to imply that all Catholics have identical values, but you know what I mean.)

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Really, you are catholic? There are undoubtedly catholic gentleman out there: http://www.catholicgentleman.net/ [ by the way: I am one of them 🙂 …. but I am honest … I am in a love-hate-relationship with the church, because they often don’t represent christ in a sensible way. The early church was a living window to heaven, with countless enlightened followers of Christ.

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  27. Abba, your Heavenly Father, will send you the Perfect Partner. A wild loving and trustworthy gentleman who Loves you with the heavenly fire of Jesus and who sees in you a divine princess 😉 He will love you in infinite ways.

    Liked by 2 people

      1. You will get some signs, if someone is the right person, a certain fragcrance comes with it, a presence of light and intuitive knowing, filled with wonder and the hot scent and unspeakable attraction of pure godly love, just as if he is only, only, only created for you and you exactly for him, not to make you whole (because you are already whole) but as a addition and overflowing blessing and abundance.

        You will experience a heavenly atmosphere every time you meet him and talk with him, because the angels will celebrate your intimate togetherness. you will experience „the length and width and height and depth of the Love of Christ“ (Ephesians 3:18) through him. Believe me, you are so enourmosly adorable 🙂

        Blessings to you,
        Mark

        Liked by 2 people

      2. Hey Mark! A certain fragrance-I like that:) seriously though-wow. That is so beautiful to think about that celebration when I meet him. This has seriously touched my soul tonight. Ok for real now I’m going to check out that website! Haha xox

        Liked by 1 person

      3. It is really funny, because I have seen your blog – and profile image – again and again on other blogs (for months, believe it or not! :D). I really thought: „Whats going on here? Who is this girl? Maybe Jesus wants that I contact her, talk with her and deliver her a message“ – I really experienced a strong impulse to say something to you (without a clue what to say!) and now I am here and have touched your heart 🙂
        Maybe this is the message that I should give you?

        May you have a good night!

        Mark

        Like

  28. Don’t you just love it when your Mom is always right!! haha Mine is the same way! But literally preach it girl!! We gotta let God work for us and bring the man He is preparing for us. I will keep you in my prayers! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  31. I think it’s great that you’re putting yourself out there and yet allowing God to lead. And kudos to you to saving yourself. While it sounds strange, I actually know a few women in their 30s who are saving themselves for marriage – and they are successful, attractive ladies! They are just willing to wait on the right guy God has in store for them. Thanks for sharing your story.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. I understand how you feel. I’ve tried the online dating and I rejected soooooo many guys and the few I did interact with only wanted sex in the end…but it was an experience. Every once in a while I think about going back…but I’m wanting the real deal, old school, go on dates, truly get to know each experience with that one man who is just for me. I’m trusting and believing in the Lord for that.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Your post affected me quite a bit, Cara. Not that I’m in my mid-twenties now (I’m actually 64!). But I am, like you, trying online dating—AGAIN–to see if anyone possible shows up. And also like you, I am trying to remember to know in a real way that the whole situation is in God’s hands. God will take care of it for me, although I do need to show up first! Enjoy the possibilities that are unfolding before you… 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  34. Enveloping him in a regal embrace of trust and balance, that brother of mine out there, whose soul is already in alignment with the Divine Plan.
    Caralyn my precious friend, I have great confidence in you. Be the fearlessly loving Lioness that you are, and God knows all is well.

    ❤ Leon

    Liked by 1 person

  35. So refreshed to read this. Vulnerability is step one to our walk with God, and it is no surprise that it is also step one for our relationships. I have been single,pure, and miraculously content for 25 years (doubtful seasons included, I am human). I am inspired to write more about this! It seems as if many have lost hope in this area and even more don’t even realize what a blessing it is to have God handle it.
    A couple promises for you to claim:
    Psa 84:11 For the LORD God is a sun and shield: the LORD will give grace and glory: no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.
    Pro 18:22 Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.

    I think God keeps His promises, so don’t worry. oh and just replace wife with husband haha

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Chad! Aw thank you so much:) I’m glad you enjoyed it. You’re right-vulnerability is the key to a lot of things. I would love to read what you have to say! 🙂 those are awesome verses – thanks for passing them along:) Hugs and love xox

      Like

  36. Meanwhile in Canada it’s 12:05 am. Paul did say it’s better to be single. I know you love the Lord this is evident in writing. I have been there Where You Are. I am now 30 something I’m not getting married seem very appealing to me because I wouldn’t want to make the wrong decision I would rather be married to the work of Jesus then anything else. You have to understand that as a person you can’t go by what you see others doing don’t compare what you don’t have to others. because what they don’t have is what you have. I deal with it everyday the should I shouldn’t I look for my Eve. To me these days it makes no difference. The only reason I would get married is based on the fact that it is God’s will for my life. Right now I’m perfectly content just serving the lord 31 I never thought I would be that way. if I do end up getting married she better have a heart to work for the Lord. I will say this about you you’re quite the catch if only you were Canadian😋

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh to answer your other question how much putting myself out there this year? I’m hosting a radio show that could be heard from more than 500,000 listeners. I don’t know how much more you want me to be out of there? Check your TuneIn app for CjiqFm 88.3 although I don’t listen to the rock music on the station there I used the tune in app to listen to sermons so that when I can’t travel to the states I’m still connected 2 Grace. do yourself a favor and check that out too

        Like

    1. Thanks Mikey! I really appreciate it 🙂 haha, yes….I mean, I’m not a heavy drinker or anything. I only go out with my friends on the weekend, and then it’s only 2 drinks max. Nothing crazy. But yes…tequila is my drink of choice 🙂 hehe Thanks for the prayers! hugs xox

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  38. I am literally laughing out loud with mouth agape. I just did the same exact thing. But it was Match.com. Have been talking to a really nice guy, but doing my usual nervous back and forth in my mind. We already had the talk about no sex, and it went really great! I think men honor it more than we realize. Here’s the best part… I was in my car praying literally moments ago surrendering this to Jesus and asking for Him to help me know the right direction. All I keep hearing Him say is “Trust me”. So, I open your blog post and here we are. Everything you just shared, including the picture about doing things you are afraid of, was like a direct answer to my heart. God is so crazy amazing ❤️ I will be praying for you Beauty. Let go and trust ❤️ He will not let you down.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! Haha oh good! In so glad it made you laugh and resonated with you:) that’s awesome! I hope things work out Between you two. Wow-God work in mysterious ways…even through the blogosphere! Haha SO crazy amazing. Thanks for the prayers. Know you’re in mine too:) Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  39. Hey you, you can’t rush love and great plans often go out of the window to create even better ones.

    You’re without doubt a beautiful lady and when the right man, your right man presents himself he’ll be extremely lucky to not only call you his girlfriend one day but will be extremely lucky to call you his wife.

    Just live your life on your gut instinct and not on dates and timetables.

    For me I’m 37, yeah, yeah I know I don’t look it 😊

    A question I get all too often is am I married, been married, got children or am I seeing anyone, and right now that is a no on them all.

    But be happy in yourself and everything else will line up around you.

    Fate will always present opportunities, it’s just a question at each time on whether you wish to take a chance or not.

    No one knows you better than yourself, so trust and back yourself that the decisions you make good and bad are the right ones for you.

    In regards to your love life take your time, love conquers all.

    Good luck, be safe and I’ll look forward to reading more on your dating adventures.

    Again your Mr Right, and your Mr Wrongs will be extremely lucky to spend any time in your company, you have loads to offer, very honest, very humble, very you. 😊

    Kind Regards as always,

    Andrew

    Liked by 1 person

  40. I love the way you have so truly expressed yourself and the issues which you have been facing with the dating apps and games. i was never into all this too. It simply isn’t working for me too but the golden questions till remains. How do I find myself a girl? I have no answer to this as of now but i sure would have the same in the times to come. Thank you for the lovely post. Keep them coming, always. Thank you for enjoying my post too. Enjoy the day.
    P.S: i love your cover photo. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  42. Yesss girl, your mom is so spot on with her response to! You will be so thankful you saved yourself for marriage. I did it myself and I do not regret it for a single second. I admire you so much and I hope you know that God’s timing often looks soooooo different than our own, but it is usually for something so much greater than we can fathom. I’m excited to see where this roller coaster takes you. Plus you are such a catch- so no worries in that realm ❤ MWAH!

    Liked by 1 person

  44. FWIW: I met my husband online 16 years ago, we’ll be married 14 years this month. I, too, had my friends encouraging me to create a profile, go on a few dates. I did. It was weird, fun, and I met my soul mate. My mother prayed a lot for me — I prayed a lot — and it’s all still working out 😉 Good luck, meet in public places, and just have fun with it 😉

    Liked by 2 people

      1. It usually finds you when you’re least looking for it….my friends wanted me to join so I would meet someone and not move out of state 😉 For me, it was a lark – who knew?!?

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  45. Your Mom is right, don’t put any pressure on yourself, don’t make dating about searching for a husband think of it more as looking for friends, someone you enjoy to hang out with because eventually, you WILL marry your best friend!
    And don’t worry about your age, giving yourself timelines just adds stress, I’m 4 years past my age I “needed” to be married by and I’d planned to have 3 children by now…God has different plans. I read a quote somewhere that said …we make plans for our life and God just laughs!
    It’s so true as much as we plan it is out of our control!

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  48. Just go for it. Find a guy, swipe him, send him a message. If it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be. Life isn’t easy, or it wouldn’t be worth living in the first place. The right guy will just accept you for what you are, the wrong guys won’t.

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  49. Dear Caralyn – What most men today don’t understand about women is that women are raised as social creatures first. By that I mean you like talking to people, socializing with people in a non-threatening atmosphere and generally just getting to know people FIRST. Men on the other hand, it’s all about being carnal and what feels good. The concept of being social is foreign to men and at a young age only something that “sissies” get involved with. If a man can’t conquer a woman and then place her on his trophy wall then he doesn’t consider himself a man. As a man I can say this because “I’ve been there, done that and got the T-shirt.”

    If you were my daughter, which by the way I am old enough to be your father, I would advise you in the following way. First, have a deep, abiding relationship with the Lord. Second, follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Third, move away from the dating sites because as most people have said, the underlying intention of the parties involved is most likely to have sex. Finally, put the thought of finding a man (future husband) out of your mind and focus on living a life that is pleasing to the Lord.

    Last but not least is the reason you are going out on a date is to get to know each other and spend some time together. Why not start out going on a date during the day time only. If the man suggests going to a movie, then perhaps you could suggest an early afternoon showing. Or if they suggest dinner, be bold and counter that you would prefer to go out to lunch or brunch in the beginning. There’s something about going on a date during the day time that somehow eliminates or minimizes the thinking about “going back to his place” after the date.

    In the end, unsolicited advice such as mine can be handled in many different ways. I believe you are an intelligent woman with a lot to offer a man. Don’t compromise your principles in order to be liked or accepted. As all the other posts have said here, God will bring the right man into your life at the right time. You just need to be sensitive to God’s leading and abiding in Him daily. God bless you.

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    1. Wow Russ. Thank you for this incredible comment. SO. Much. Wisdom. Here! Seriously, this was exactly what I needed to read this morning. And that’s great advice about a day date. Takes the pressure off. And you’re right-living for the Lord is the answer-for when I’m doing that, everything will fall into place. Thanks again friend. Hugs and love xox

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  50. Hi Caralyn!
    If it makes you feel any better, I can confirm that a lot of people – even if they don’t seem to show it – will have a lot of respect for you in saving yourself. You have a lot of inner strength, and that is deeply admired!
    You are so right in handing everything over to the Father! He always has perfect timing for His plans for us. 🙂 (I know I always need a reminder of that ;))

    Have fun with the dating app! I have faith in you putting yourself out there. 😀

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