Swiping for Love

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Warning.

This is a post about my love life.

Or rather…lack there of.

You guys, I have a confession…I recently joined the dating app, Bumble.

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It was a moment of weakness. I was out with friends and my inhibitions were…how should I say…compromised. (Dang tequila…)

But my friends made a profile for me and…whatever. It’s honestly been kind of fun to just swipe through and see who’s out there.

But here’s the thing. Bumble is the dating app where women have to message first…in the first 24 hours, or the match goes away.

And if you’ve read even 5 words of my blog, I think you can probably infer that…..I hate that.

And you would be correct. I am literally as traditional as they come, so reaching out and messaging first goes against absolutely every fiber of my wannabe-June-Cleaver being.

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But I eventually worked up the courage to do so. At first, my friends had to take my phone and message for me. Then, they would just be there for moral support, and finally, I have recently been able to message first.

So we’d have a couple back and forth texts, but as soon as I would get asked out for coffee or drinks, I would always, just…ghost. I’d not respond. Hang up. Goodbye. Nice knowing ya.

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Because, honestly…dating is scary for me. Being in your twenties and being a virgin has a lot of, shall we say, complicated baggage to go along with it.

Sex is just something that isn’t even batted an eyelash at anymore. There’s the “three date rule” and nowadays, with the online hookup culture, that timeline has become even shorter.

No judgement here, it just isn’t on the table for me. I’m saving myself for my husband. Period. And I love that decision. But it just makes dating, well….slightly terrifying.

He’s going to dump me the second he can’t take me home. I’m going to be a waste of his time. He’s going think I’m a freak. He’s gonna think I’m a clinger. What am I going to say?

And honestly, I’ve been able to handle it with grace thus far. I’ve been able to communicate my decision, and the guys have been incredibly respectful. And stuck around.

Granted…I didn’t meet those guys on the internet…

But I digress. Back to Bumble.

There’s something about your mid twenties where things just all of a sudden get serious. It’s like overnight, everyone and their brother are getting engaged. Getting married. Announcing pregnancies. Buying houses. Becoming doctors. It’s like…there’s no more “when I grow up” mentality, because, news flash…you’re there, buddy. You’re living it.

I have always had a vision for my life. When I’d get married. When and how many kids I was going to have. You know…

And I’m rapidly approaching my “kill-me-if-I’m-not-married-by-then” age. As is…it’s two years away.

A little mental math here…one year engagement, at least one year of dating…

Anddddd cue the internal freak out.

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So just this afternoon, I was texting my friends in a group chat, and half joked that I was going to hand over my Bumble profile to my mom. Have her manage it. Set me up with a gentleman that she thinks would be good husband material and the right guy for me.

#motherknowsbest

And, of course, I was saying it mainly for the laugh. But I would by lying if I said I didn’t actually think about it seriously.

And as I was sitting in church today, my mind drifted back to that text message I sent.

And I realized…Holy crap, Caralyn. That’s actually what I’m supposed to do. 

Not hand over my dating life to my mother. But to my Father. My Heavenly Father.

Here I am, giving myself a hernia about time tables and cute opening lines, and which emoji I should use to communicate just the right amount of cute/sassyness without being desperate or overbearing.

I can just hand it all over.

Let Him control it.

Now, I’m not saying that God is going to control my Bumble profile. Come on, that’s lunacy. But I am going to be open to the men God brings into my life. I am going to be open to being vulnerable and putting myself out there.


And I’ve decided that my goal for September is to go on one date. Actually say yes to an invitation (maybe from Bumble, maybe not) and be emotionally open. And I’m counting on y’all to hold me accountable to that. 🙂

I shouldn’t be scared to date because I’m afraid of a couple raised eyebrows at my choice to  save myself until marriage. Clearly, the right guy will appreciate that, and I trust that God will bring that guy into my life.

I just have to hand it over.

Give Him the reins and as they say, fuh-gedduh-bout-it.

Anywho. That’s all for tonight. Thanks for being my personal relationship therapist.

Send me your invoice 😉



What’s one way you’re going to put yourself out there this month?

**MOM’S RESPONSE


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345 thoughts on “Swiping for Love”

  1. I think you have the right idea, let God bring a good Godly Christian man I to your life and create a good Godly relationship built on him. He’ll bring you a man that loves and cherishes you and all your decisions, choices and your past.
    I used to worry I would never find someone and be alone. But when I stopped trying to handle it myself he brought the most amazing woman into my life and she is now my wife and we are awaiting the birth of our Son. But I wouldn’t have gotten there without God.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Bravo for you! I appreciate you standing firm in your convictions and beliefs. It pays off and YES there is a great guy out there waiting for you who will appreciate that decision and YES God can completely orchestrate your meeting him. I have never regretted my decision to remain a virgin until after marriage and it is something my husband has truly respected and appreciated. Stay true to yourself. I know it’s hard to go against the cultural stream but you’ll be glad you did.

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much Darla! What kind words:) I really appreciate your encouragement this morning. It’s nice to know I’m not alone:) what a beautiful love story you and your husband have:) thanks for sharing that. Hugs and love xox

      Like

  4. I think it’s important to remember your goal isn’t to impress every guy you meet. If you are being true to yourself and your beliefs, then the guy who is impressed (choose your adjective) is most likely a good fit for you. I wish you all the best with your search. Btw, any reason you didn’t choose a Christian dating site to join? It sounds like that might be the “pool you want to be fishing from.”

    Liked by 3 people

  6. You crack me up. It’s so funny, because we are in the same boat. I’ve entered into my late twenties (ugh,that left a bad taste in my mouth) & I’m hanging on to my V-card until marriage too. I used to get all worked up about when I’m going to find someone and get married, but these days I’m on chill mode in that department. I haven’t tried any dating apps, but I’ve met people and itjust never seems to work out. There’s this quote that I love:

    “A woman’s heart should be so hidden in God that a man has to seek Him just to find her.”
    Max Lucado

    Joe schmo is not going to cut it. It’s hard to find some one who is truly seeking God and is not just spiritual (because I’m still trying to figure out what that even means😒).Someone who will complement your journey and explorations in God. Girl, I think we both know that that it’s no easy task finding that kind of person. You’re right to give it up to God and trust that there is someone He is molding exclusively for you. And I’m probably weird for this, but I pray for my nonexistent husband. I pray that Good will mold me to also be the type of woman that He needs.

    I’m blabbering again, but that’s my advice☺

    Liked by 5 people

    1. Aw thanks celestial! Glad it made you laugh! Chill mode-I like that. I’m gonna try to do that too👍😎😎😎 oh my gosh that’s not weird at all! I pray for my future husband too!! Aww this whole comment has just made my morning:) you’re awesome, girl. Thanks for everything! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

      2. You are both very beautiful 🙂 I am sure you will both find the perfect companion. Just RELAX and TRUST IN THE LORD. Let him make his job and he will deliver the gift: at the right time, the right place and exactly the right Person 🙂 Blessings to you, Mark

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      4. And by the way: I really like to write Emails. Mainly because I enjoy the flow of words and beautiful thoughts in heartfelt conversations, without any expectations. I would really be happy to have saved you in my Adress book, Caralyn. And I don’t know why. But I feel a mysterious connection to you, without any concrete expectations. You are somehow inspiring to me. And I am a writer and love words infinitely…. sometimes I feel a connection to a soul and this unspeakable desire to talk, about dreams and visions and the secret longing in the heart. Or just smalltalk and nonsence. You have touched me in a strange way 😉

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    2. Great words, Celestial! My wife and I love Max Lucado and that’s a terrific quote. ☺ We’ve prayed for years for our four daughters’ future husbands and, now that they are all married to wonderful Christian guys, we’re praying for spouses for our six grandchildren. So it doesn’t sound a bit weird that you’re praying for your future husband. ☺ It’s the best thing you could do along with becoming the woman God created you to be and sticking close to Jesus. When he’s the love of your life, I have the sense that the rest will work out too! (See my post from yesterday on The love of my life)

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for the encouragement Stephen. I really appreciate it. I have many married friends and I have a clearer comprehension of how challenging it can be. So, I am patient. I only want what God has for me☺

        Liked by 1 person

      1. We’re silly😂

        I’m a Flight Attendant based in Newark. My friend lives in the city, so I visit sometimes. If it’s not a weird proposition, we should totally get together and do lunch sometime☺

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  9. You’re not alone–I’m still searching as well and I’m 27 haha. But seriously though, I do not like the idea of the woman having to message first. This is kind of a rant and it’s in part to my upbringing. But I firmly believe that men should have to work hard to get that girl they want to spend the rest of their life with. Committment and hard work are something that the majority of fathers are not teaching their sons today. Christ calls for husbands to lay down their lives for their wives. To give up everything for them. But men are content to just sit back and let the women to do all the work in the relationship. I don’t know you, but here’s a bit of advice 🙂 Don’t settle and definitely make the guy work to be with you. If he truly wants to bewith you, he will put in the work. You are a great girl and God definitely has a perfect guy for you. The fact that you are protecting yourself and your virtue is a hardfound quality and is EXTREMELY ADMIRABLE. Praying for you as always.

    ~Tom

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Tom. There’s a lot of great food for thought here. You’re right-I should try to find a man that really wants to be with me, and put in the work for it:) God is good! So glad you stopped by:) have a great afternoon! Hugs and love xox

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  10. I love your mom’s comment. 🙂
    And this post reminds me of a point I came to last week.
    As I was walking with Jesus and telling Him about my struggles and how I desperately need His wisdom, I realized that I was finally surrendering everything to Him: my fears, anxieties, hopes, and dreams. And His reply was so sweet: “I’ve got this. I’ve got you.”
    What a relief it was to hear those comforting words! I’ve always known that God is in control, but head knowledge is different than heart knowledge, and faith in Christ (heart knowledge) is where powerful action and a fruitful life springs from.
    I look forward to reading more about what God teaches you through this next step in your walk with Him.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. BBB, I don’t think God injected you with so much awesome without intending to keep it included in the gene pool. It’s frustratingly true I know, God’s timing on these things is not often what we expected, and He likes to play these things close to the vest (also frustrating). Living by faith and not by sight is not as easy as it sounds. But you are right to give it to Him. Trust me, He won’t disappoint. Thanks for being so transparent and honest about this. It is very common, and people need to know they are not alone struggling with being single. As for what I am doing to put myself out there this month? Well it won’t be for women, God took care of that 25 years ago by giving me the best woman ever! But I did just self publish a new book, Special Graces in Common Places, which I edited myself… for that reason alone, that is plenty of scary for me. Lol!

    Liked by 2 people

  12. Dear Caralyn:

    This is a “telling my truth in love” moment. There’s that line in Genesis: “It is not good for the man to be alone. Let us give him a helpmate suitable to him.” So, with that in mind, go and read the description of the New Jerusalem in Revelation. The Tree of Life is a “her,” and her leaves are for “the healing of nations.”

    You’ve got a great, big, huge heart that has been refined and strengthened by your struggles. I think that you’ll find your man when you find a cause big enough to occupy it.

    Brian

    Liked by 2 people

  13. “No judgement here, it just isn’t on the table for me. I’m saving myself for my husband. Period. And I love that decision.”

    You are my hero! 🙂 If I were your father I would be SO darn proud of you. Hey, I AM so proud of you! Funny story, my 20-something niece went on an online dating thing just as a dare after making fun of her younger sister for doing so. She was convinced they didn’t work. Well, wouldn’t you know it, she found the love of her life (from England, no less) in a matter of days! They got to know each other better, travelling back and forth for several months. I performed the wedding ceremony for them last fall. So, you might say the joke was happily on her! I pray you find the same happiness. He’s out there somewhere, and whoever that is will be one truly blessed individual! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  14. This is so great!! Ahh dating as a Christian on the purity path has to be the most difficult thing ever, but I love that you’re just handing it over to God and aiming to enjoy the ride because He really will protect you as long as you’re holding to His Word. All the best 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 3 people

      1. You’re welcome, and thank you! Especially for writing about how you live the faith and doing so in such a relatable manner. I tend to write about crush obsessions in a lighthearted manner and not bring up the whole: I’m striving to love my brothers and sisters in Christ the best way possible and above all focus on God, and through him to love them better, thing. Also, dates can be fun! I mean, that is not why we date, but just being open to friendships and spending time with people who want to spend time with you seems like a good idea. I just don’t suggest dating apps…with their tendency to allow others to be seen as, and to make yourself appear as, a product of someone’s hopes for a future spouse/love interest. …You know this though! ANYWHO, keep it up! Young single Christians (I think you’re catholic too, yea?) aiming to live a chaste life with pure love in mind- UNITE!!!!!! (I just had coffee and am feeling pumped, forgive me).

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  18. My wife and I met online. Online dating was the scariest 30 days of my life! Talk about social pressure! Anyway, we dated for over a year before our wedding and she was a virgin at 35 years old when we wed. Dating is great fun when you can simply enjoy companionship. There is an amazing man out there for you. Keep God in the loop and you’ll find him.

    Liked by 2 people

  19. There’s three people in a relationship and God is smack dab in the center. The glue that holds it all together. I’m so glad you’ve chosen to wait for the man He has already chosen for you. God’s timing and plan are perfect. Hold on to His Word.

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I feel like in a weird way, we were sisters from different misters…and mothers. 😉 I’m 28, virgin waiting for marriage and I found myself having thoughts similar to yours. With me though, God has already told me when I’m supposed to meet him…sometime this year…and honestly it terrifies me when I start thinking about it. I find myself going between, “I can’t wait til I can say I have a boo-thang!” and “NOOOO–I’m not ready!” (in my best Kevin Hart voice.) I don’t know…I’m still scared and I’m super nervous even now after mentioning all that. Still, it’s good to know I’m not in the boat by myself. Very well written as always–I love your humor! Always cracks me up! Continue to be brave and trust God–He won’t set you up with a disaster. 🙂 Take care sis!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. This post is so true and relatable!! I’ve started to give online a try, some of the people out there just shock me. Our society is so odd. Like you, I think a guy should make the first move. It is very annoying at times. I understand what you mean about baggage, being physically disabled turns most guys of. But just gotta give it to God..

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw thanks Elizabeth:) haha I know! Our society is SO odd! But then I guess you could also say that about me 😂😂😂 But you’re right-we ALL have baggage of one kind or another, but none of it is too big for God. He will take it all. One of my favorite sayings that my mom says is that “there’s a lid for every pot” 🙂 Definitely gives me hope 🙂 sending massive hugs to ya girl xox

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  22. God it’s been 15 years since I’ve been single, but I remember feeling much like you in my 20s. I too came from a traditional home and found dating tough. But I made the mistake of just dating guys for the sake of dating and I do regret that. Yet, maybe I wouldn’t appreciate my husband so much if I hadn’t made those mistakes. So my advice is date. Have fun. You will make a few mistakes and probably have a few regrets, but eventually your path will lead you to your Mr. Right. And then it isn’t all perfection after that. Marriage is always evolving. It’s life with ups and downs, but with commitment and love you will conquer all. Best wishes!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much 🙂 I really appreciate your kind words and perspective! yes, fun is definitely important. Especially in NYC – there are so many fun restaurants and bars to try 🙂 haha thanks for stopping by! hugs xox

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  23. As a man, I know how wonderful it is to date a woman who I can connect with because we have something in common. I am captivated because there is the allure of mystery, intellect, dignity, and grace. She is the yin to my yang. She is strong and feminine. We share kindness and generosity. We’ve suffered and survived. Never once did I question her virginity and never once did I assume it’s mine to take no matter how close and no matter how long we grew our friendship. I need to respect her for all that she is and isn’t. And one day she decides I’m worthy and then I ask her to be my wife. I met such a woman 27 years ago. She brings tears of joy to my eyes every morning when I see we are graced with another day together. It’s never about sex if it’s about a lifetime of love. Sex and intimacy are not the be all and end all of love. There is so much more to it than that. Celebrate your many beautiful virtues as petals of a flower. The right man will see it all and cherish the flower and not just the petal or stem. Your purity of heart, mind, body, and soul is the greatest treasure. It’s you, all of you, he will love and cherish. Anything short of that is a relationship that has a short shelf life and an expiration date. Go out and live and enjoy life. It should never, ever require you to give up anything until you know you’ve met the one you love and that love is mirrored in his eyes. So, my dear, be strong, be resolute, be yourself but don’t be in a hurry. Your time will arrive when the time is right. Now, get out there and have fun. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You are welcome, Caralyn. It is you that blesses us, your readers, with your inspiring honesty and openess about life one step at a time. -Daniel

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  26. I understand the fear! My husband of 25 years passed away 8 years ago and when I felt I was ready to consider dating 2 years later I faced the same issues, only at 51. God was truly faithful, and almost 5 years ago I met my husband on Christian Mingle. My strong suggestion – be wIse about the dating sites you use as a Christian woman. Some of them are just offering us trouble! I found E Harmony to be a site very safe – at least when I began internet dating on that site, they gave a lot of advise and put in a lot of safeguards. After I became more comfortable, I began using Christian Mingle, where there was a lot fewer safeguards, but more good men than not. I wouldn’t say all were solid followers of Christ, but I didn’t have any serious problems.

    I love how you ended your blog by stating that you will stick to God’s standards and let him choose. Marriage isn’t easy all the time, and in those difficult moments, it brings an amazing peace to know that regardless, you are right where God wants you. God bless!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for sharing this. I’m so sorry that you lost your husband. My heart is breaking thinking about that, but how wonderful that God brought your current husband into your life. That is so special. God is good. And that’s great advice about the dating sites. Thanks 🙂 hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  27. Loved your post and if im honest, i usually hate those for many reasons. To be frank, i have no idea why you are still but can understand the struggle-had that myself a while back and then decided to do my own thing and let people find me one day. I have never heard of the app-bumble. What country are you in?

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Thank you for sharing Caralyn! This is exactly what the world needs to hear.
    You are doing the right thing in trusting God with your love life. Just let Him write your love story, sit back and watch His movie, because it’s going to exceed all your expectations 🙂
    I hope you’ll find an amazing Catholic guy really soon who will treat you the way you deserve. Always keep God in the center of your relationship and let Him lead! God bless! 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, thank you so much 🙂 What a beautiful note of encouragement. You’re right – He is the best match maker and produces the most beautiful love stories So I should just sit back and let Him do what He does best 🙂 Thanks for stoping by! sending big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  29. Hi BBB, why do you target yourself with kind of that thing (dating, having family, etc) moreover, in a limited time? I am sorry but I think this is a bit ridiculous. To be open is great, but set up a time limit, thats a different story. Would you mind if I ask you something? Do you go to the college? Have you finished your diploma/bachelor degree? How about your job…does it match with your major, or you chase your passion that is not your major? How long have you build the career on the job(s) you’re in now? In my country it is in Asia, many but not all young people finish their college/university then go to work & have several years career job before they seriously dating, even some of them start dating when they re in college (including me). Then they get married after they are in job market for several years (including me). And most of them, young men n young women keep their virginity (I confess I was not). Yes, the situatio is different. But in other part of the world, still lots of young people wait till get quite settled job about 2-5 or even 7-10 years after finushing their bachelor degree to get married.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi there, thank you for this perspective. To answer your questions, yes, I did go to and finish college. I am working in the field I got a degree in, while simultaneously following my passion-acting. I feel very fulfilled in that area of life, as well as in my relationships with family and friends. Youre right, I souldnt put the pressure of a timetable on myself, that’s unnecessary. Because at the end of the day, it will happen when it’s supposed to. Thanks for the food for thought! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi BBB, nice to hearing from you that you got a job n follow8ng your passion n have great relationships with family n friends, n very fulfilled, thats super great. Yup, somehow time is mystery. I finally got pregnant after our 10 years marriage, n the 2nd was bornt after the 1st o e was 21 months. Hugs n cheers.

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  30. Sheesh the way WordPress handles commenting on an iPhone is so freaking annoying. I had to get out of bed and open up my laptop, haha!

    So I’m an experienced online dater and although I get the impulse to want to check it out, I would honestly say for what you are going for you should probably avoid it. The vast majority of men (myself included when I was using it) are just looking for hookups. Most of them, while using the app, are usually intoxicated and just looking for someone to say “come over right now and do whatever you want to me” and when you don’t do that they treat you like garbage. I hope that you never have to experience some of the things that my female friends have shown me (although they have led to some hilarious Tumblr’s where a-holes are outed… I even know one woman who sent all of the abusive, misogynistic crap that a guy texted her to his mom LOL).

    You said you’re 2 years away from your MUST BE MARRIED date and I think that’s doable, honestly. You seem like you’ve really come a long way in life just judging by your blog and although I get that you’re lonely and probably frustrated at how difficult it is to meet good people in this day and age, people in your situation (who are out living and loving life) will find someone of like mind sooner than later. I’m tempted to tell you that if you really want to find someone who would wait for marriage with you to try one of the Christian dating sites but I know plenty of non-Christian guys who use those sites just because the women are (sadly) usually more gullible and innocent.

    It’s not my place to tell you what to do but I’ve personally learned to avoid online dating like the plague. Even for an intelligent, fairly attractive man such as my self (haha) the women I met from those sites were definitely not the kind of people I’d want to spend my life with. It’s a wasteland of desperate people who all have glaring character flaws… which I’m sure is why they’ve resorted to online dating.

    You don’t have to do that. You’re a good person, you’re putting yourself out in the world into situations where you ARE going to meet people.

    And let’s both be honest, doesn’t it feel kind of gross to “swipe” to let someone know you’re interested? 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey there! Oh my
      Gosh this comment is amazing. I was like nodding along and saying “yes!” To the entire thing. so thank you. That’s hysterical about your friend who fwd’d the texts to his mom!! 😂😂😂but you’re right-meeting IRL (😎) is definitely the way to go. Because yes-swiping is gross. Hugs and love xox

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  31. I love this so much! I am 4.5 months away from my “kill-me-if-I’m-not-married-by-then” age haha (and yes I am counting that precisely). It’s unfortunate that that pressure is out there but I guess that’s just life! I respect and appreciate your decisions so much and you are absolutely correct in that the right guy will as well. Good luck in your September challenge!

    Liked by 1 person

  34. I know how you feel [😊] . Don’t compromise your principles though, you will be fine just have patience and be you.

    ________________________________

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      1. Such a good read! I can relate. I have chosen to save myself until marriage also. I have recently just decided that I don’t even want to get physical in any way with a man until marriage! Scary to think how a man might take this! But your right, letting God take control is what we can do. I just recently ended an almost two year relationship with a man who I thought I was going to marry. I have learned so many lessons about relationships I will never forget, however, the pain has left me in a state of healing. I am nervous about dating too. I never really have dated. My ex and I just jumped in thinking we were made for one another. That was my very first serious relationship. Any who. I am still finding myself on this journey of letting him go, looking ahead, and giving the men God puts in front of me a chance. I will be praying for you girl! Can’t wait to hear more!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you so much for sharing this. You’re right-giving it to God is the best thing to do. Best of luck on your healing journey. I really appreciate the prayers:) you’ll be in mine too! Hugs and love xox

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  36. This is so relatable… I had a massive fail when I decided to download a dating app and then I chickened out and deleted it.I’m just going to wait and see what happens… or I will try… 🙂 Good to know I’m not the only one who’s scared of today’s swipe-society. Loved the post! Vicky x

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  37. You were a bumbler. 🙂 I once tried Tinder and it was ridiculous. After reading your writings now for the past few months, I can definitely appreciate your honesty and courage in sharing so many aspects of your personal life to the general public. Trustworthiness is the foundation of all virtue, and I believe thus you are the epitome of virtue. Blessed will be the man who does earn your love by loving you, that beauty beyond your bones, more than his own bones. Stay you!

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  38. Hey BBB, as a person who also lost many years of my life with a life-changing disease and is still in the midst of adjusting back (and shining) into society, I’m also terrified about dating. But not so much terrified about dating itself to the expectation of it these days. I’m a soul that firmly appreciates real friendship first, to be able to love each others heart and minds first, to explore and support each other’s God given purpose – not so conducive to a 3 date and then physical intimacy dating system. In a way, I’m in the same boat as you. Just thought I’d reach out. I liked your post. Ken x

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  39. Oh, Girl! I’ve been there…Except my dating predates social media. I waited for the right guy, and boy did God deliver! We’re at 18 wonderful married years and counting. Hang in there…I wouldn’t go back to my 20s for love or money.

    Just keep in mind that empirical research is on your side for staying pure (and for waiting longer for that beautiful ring that you’ll get one day!)

    Hugs,
    Stephanie

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Loved this! I admire your wait for your husband. Keep flying the flag. The best decision you could ever make. So much baggage attached to sex outside of marriage. Mr Right will come at the right time. X

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  41. June is gorgeous, I still watch Beaver. Black and White such a beautiful scene for the ladies of Hollywood.

    As for wanting to “not wanting to message first,” I think many women share this attitude. Understandable, being that men should be taking initiative.

    Thanks for sharing Beauty BB!

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  42. I can feel that achy, anxious, giddy, hopefulness mingled with fear in my chest when I read this post. That was the feeling I always experienced when the prospects of a potential date arose – like maybe it would *really* happen! I tried three different online dating websites over the last 10 years – the first was eHarmony when I was 26 or 27. I never went on one date. My self-talk was so similar to yours. “What’s the point? I’ll never find anyone who respects my values.” My last brief trial of online dating was just before I entered treatment, at the prodding and insistence of one of my friends who is still convinced, “I know you’re happy, but what if you could be *happier* WITH someone.” I actually went on two dates, and then I realized I was only dating to fit into the ideas that other people had for my life. So, I stopped, and I have never been more satisfied or taken more joy in life! I’m still open to the idea of dating, but I am leaving it in God’s hands. I like your approach. He knows what we need, and he is always providing it for us. In every moment of every day, he is drawing us a little bit closer to him, speaking to us, and sending the exact blessing that we need in that moment, even if it is very small and ordinary and goes unnoticed. You are in my prayers! I know that your amazing vulnerability and your openness to following His will are going to be rewarded. As for me, my challenge right now is to work on my self-trust issues when it comes to food. I am still clinging to my meal plan, and I don’t trust myself to be able to eat intuitively or to make mindful and healthy choices. It’s a work in progress, so I’m not setting a deadline on it, but that’s where I am right now. Take care! Sending hugs! xoxoxo

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    1. Aw lulu your comments always are such a Ray of light! I’m so glad you’ve found that contentment and peace. You’re right- being in god’s hands is the best place to be! I can definitely understand the struggle with meal plans. Know that I’m cheering for you! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  43. Hello Beauty, I’m quite touched that you liked a couple of posts on my blog familyfootprints.wordpress.com
    I’m very much a nubie to blogging and your site and following is admirable. Please look in now and then as I hope to capture the joy and love of being a parent. Don’t worry about finding love, it will happen when you least expect it. My kids are just about the ages of first crushes and I can see myself in them. When we blog about our kids, we are really talking about ourselves. Stay tuned.

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      1. You’re most welcome. Believe it or not, the love you feel for your mate is increased 10 fold in the love you have for your kids. This was something I didn’t realize before. I still remember looking at my son in his crib and suddenly knowing I couldn’t live without him. That is some powerful mojo.

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      3. Sorry about that.
        Oh by the way, I met my wife at work and believe it or not, she was engaged. We just talked and laughed a lot. I was sent away for work for a few months and she was to be married. When I returned it had been called off. I was surprised but she said it just wasn’t right. We continued to just get along. Soon she was the yin to my yang. New love is so special. The excitement subsides but you relive it in your children. Santa suddenly delivers presents again. New loves and first dates are there again. School is new and exciting again.
        Look at this, I just wasted a good blog. 😊

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  44. Your wise and loving Mom and Heavenly Father will always have your back… And your husband, God willing some day will walk beside you with great pride, honor and joy in his heart. Lovely post as always :).
    I will put myself out there by sharing my own struggles with self worth growing up with my students. The only person that can define our self worth is the one in the mirror. Always hold the pen in writing your own story 🙂

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    1. Thanks Pepper:) I really appreciate it. I like that-hold the pen. Amen to that! Such an powerful image:) best of luck with sharing your story. I know it will help them and be very beneficial to your students, many of whom may be going through something similar. You just never know 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  45. “So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her.” Genesis 29:20 This is a favorite passage of mine to share with our son, who is patiently (most times) waiting for God to reveal the woman He has prepared for him. Your timetable (as with our son’s) may not be the same as God’s…trust in His care & I promise He will not disappoint you. And it will seem as if it were but a ‘few days’ you waited! Hugs dear one!!!

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  46. This post is truly lovely! It is so refreshing to see another young women actually not comprising but following the Lord’s word whole heartedly. In God’s will and timing, he will reveal the treasures he has for his children; He knows what is best for his daughter! Just continue to trust in him. God bless and God loves you!

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  47. I remember the 20s freak out so well! Except I also had my career planned out too and realised, (in my ultimate, future-seeing wisdom), that I was never going to meet a husband in that time- and I didn’t want to be “one of those sad virgins sitting waiting for a husband”… And so in frustration and impatience I went out and had a one night stand with a guy I’d known since I was 15! (Totally worth saying no all those times before hey…). Anyway, “funny” part is… Once the reality of what I’d done hit me and I cracked, I confessed all to my work colleague… The guy who I’d been sitting next to every day for the past 9 months… The guy Ive now been married to for 7 years! Yup… I told God I was sick of waiting for Him to do what He had already done … I just hadn’t been able to see it! Not a great big deal in the grand scheme of things … God is good and forgives our sin… But for me, I threw away the chance to have only my husband for the sake of an experience I convinced myself God wasn’t going to give me… And I hate that! I don’t even know what the moral of that story is except… Well done for hoping and trusting and waiting! God sees and knows much more than we do- even when it’s right in front of us! 😉 X

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing this, you’re right-a lot of times it takes a while for us to notice what God has put literally right in front of us! So glad that you and your husband “saw the light” at the office! Haha but seriously, a beautiful love story. Hugs and love xox

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  48. You are truly a rare gem to turn to you Heavenly Father and let Him guide your decisions. It’s amazing how He sees the “big picture” and how He’s already got everything under control. It isn’t easy, that. But always worth it!

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  49. A sweet post. Sometimes letting go opens the doors. I don’t think I’d ever look for someone online, but that’s just me. I found that a great way to meet people is to take classes or volunteer. You meet people with similar interests and get to know them face to face. Plus you learn something or create a better world while you’re at it. Good luck!

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      1. In my younger days, I met some great guys taking cooking classes (I still can’t cook, but whatever), and I met some great guys taking scuba diving classes (and went on some fun vacations too). Do what you love and you will find people who do what you love 😀

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