That’s Home

I did something really fun last weekend. Something that was a new New York experience for me.

And I’m not talking about standing in line at the break of dawn for SNL tickets – although I can check that off my bucket list as of earlier this month.

And I’m also not talking about discovering a hidden Chinatown speakeasy, where the mixologists use ingredients such as lavender infused vodka and fresh pressed kale juice.

Nope. Been there three times in fact.

No, last weekend, I went up to Harlem and saw a Christmas show at the Apollo.

And it may or may not have been a date with a gentleman. A gentleman I may or may not have met at a candlelight Christmas concert at church.

But wow. What an afternoon. I had no idea what to expect. Set the bar low. Little did I know that I was about to be moved to tears watching a show about the beauty and power of Christmas.

In fact, sitting here in the airport at O’Dark Thirty, waiting to fly home to Ohio and reflecting on the show, I’m realizing how incredibly familiar the story is to me personally, and how – it actually was like looking in the mirror.

Long story short, this woman returns to her Harlem brownstone, ready to sell the place after her parents passed away. The musical was her reliving her childhood memories. How her baby sister passed away in that house, and for the rest of her life, her parents struggled to move past the pain.

In the end, our protagonist opts not to sell the brownstone, because although there was pain in that house, there was also love. And realized that she could always go home. That even though that tragedy rocked their world as a family, eventually it brought them closer together and closer to God. She had finally made peace with her painful past, and embraced her home and where she came from.

I saw so much of my story in this show. And, if you take a long enough look at it, perhaps you can too.

I’ve talked to enough of you in the comments section to know that, we all have things in our history – or a loved one’s history – that is painful. That haunts us. Weighs heavily on our spirits, especially during the holidays, when family and faith and togetherness are front and center.

Home, if we’re honest, can sometimes not be the ideallic, twinkle-light encrusted, issue-free house that is depicted in Hallmark Christmas Movies.

It’s taken me a long time to get to where I am today – where home is no longer that bleak reminder of a broken girl, broken dreams and broken relationships.

Living through anorexia, as a family, takes a toll.

But home is more than just that one season of life.

Home is your family. Home is the look between brother and sister, knowing how much he believes in you. Home is a hug from your father, wordlessly expressing his love. Home is the tender conversation with your mother. The dance party with your neice.

Home is not just a place. But a living, breathing experience with the people you love, and who love you.

And even though the past may not be perfect, there is beauty in the coming toghether of everyone, in that same place, choosing to live and love in the now.

That’s home.

That’s what we can choose to embrace.

It’s there that we can find peace.

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190 thoughts on “That’s Home

  1. Great post 🙂 Sorry, I have not blogged on here for a while I have been very busy. I love that Downton Abbey image you have on this blog post 🙂 Anyway, I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and keep up the great work as always 🙂


  2. P.S. Enjoying the Hallmark Christmas movies that usually play at this time of year? 🙂 I am 🙂 They are comforting and that is what makes them great 🙂 Once again have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and keep up the great work as always 🙂


  3. On Thu, Dec 22, 2016 at 4:00 PM BeautyBeyondBones wrote:

    > > > Hello,

    > Yes, yep, you are so right? I believe the Lord is deepening His children > by taking them back through places from the past like home. Hope your year > is full of time goes deeper, richer moments of the soul.

    > I am trying to get my 14 year off old daughter to follow her blog. She > doesn’t battle with anorexia, but I love your messages that are very > healthy for young girls. She loves the Lord, but to have a little female > mentoring in a way gives her a different perspective.

    > Have a great end of the year,

    > Gary > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > beautybeyondbones posted: “I did something really fun last > weekend. Something that was a new New York experience for me. > > And I’m not talking about standing in line at the break of dawn for SNL > tickets – although I can check that off my bucket list as of earlier this > month. > > And I’” > > > > > > > > > >


  4. So, I now know a few places to go to when I travel to NYC. Now, about that date, it sounds like it was fun! Now remember, Be You, Be Beautiful Girl! A very Merry Christmas and Warm Wishes for a Bright and Wonderful New Year!


  5. Merry Christmas, Caralyn!!! I am so happy for you for so many reasons! Congratulations on your wonderful date! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I am also so glad that you are able to go home and to enjoy the holidays with your family, accepting all the complicated history and complex dynamics of those relationships. I almost didn’t go home for Christmas this year. My brother always goes away to see his in-laws, so it winds up being just my parents sitting around the house, and last year was pretty much a disaster. (Unfortunately, my parents don’t really have much insight into our family dysfunction or their part in it, which makes improving relationships with them difficult). At the last moment, I decided that I would miss my goddaughter too much. I have been there for every Christmas with her, and I couldn’t bear to miss one. So, I got in the car and drove the 13 hours (from Ohio 🙂 ) , and it has been such a blessing! My parents are just as dysfunctional as ever, but perhaps I am changed and am better able to accept them as they are, understanding that I can’t help them if they don’t want to be helped. It was amazing to see my goddaughter, who wanted me to hold her all through Christmas Eve mass. All those feelings of unworthiness with which I struggle melted away. You are right that beyond pain and hurt, there is potential and hope and life and love. Merry Christmas, again!


    1. Hi Lulu, oh my gosh this brought a tear to my eye. Seriously. Thank you so much for sharing it. I’m so glad you decided to make the trip. It must have meant so much to your goddaughter for you to be there:) and amen to that – there is always hope and potential. Merry merry Christmas, my friend. Sending the biggest hugs. Your presence is a gift to your family:) xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are so, so kind. I am certain that you are a blessing to everyone around you, and I hope that you are enjoying a beautiful and full Christmas season. Hugs back! Xoxo


  6. Hey thanks for the like and sharing your words within your own blog. Guess what? I too use to live in Ohio 🙂 Now that was a time of pure friendship and appreciation. I miss them. Continue to enjoy your holidays and everyday in peace after that.


  7. Beautiful expression of sincerity and humility!
    He says, ‘Be still, and know that I am God.’” Psalm 46:10a (NIV) The words may sound soothing, but in Scripture they’re a gentle but firm reproof. “Calm down” (CEV), He says. “That’s enough!” (CEB). At the time these words were written, God was speaking very pointedly to His battle-prone people. “Stop fighting” (ERV), He told them, “cease striving” (NASB) and “desist” (YLT).

    Okay, then.

    It’s clear that in our own daily battles we’re to lay down our weapons and trust God for the victory, believing it will come in His perfect timing and according to His flawless plan. In the meantime, He tells us to rest in Him and “let go of your concerns!”

    May God continue to strengthen you as you walk through this life! Remember Although I am weak, I am strong because of Him


  8. Well done on this article! Your descriptions made me want to see that play. Thank you for the reminder for all of us to value and work through things like home and memories in order to value what is real and enduring. =)


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