Patience as a Way of Life

It’s pretty clear to me, that during this time at home here, helping my mom recover from her stroke, God is wasting no time at all, teaching me things.

And not just any “things…” but real, important, messy things.

Things that should come with an owners manual or an instruction guide.

In other words, things you could find at Ikea.



New York City, if there’s anything that characterizes the Big Apple, it’s the instantaneousness of life in the rat race. You want a sandwich delivered at 2am? It’ll be there in 20 minutes. Need a ride? You’ve got an Uber driver 1 minute away. Everything is efficient. And everything happened 2 minutes ago.

And it’s a good thing, but also a bad thing. Or rather, a bad thing to get used to. And one of the big lessons I’m learning here, is a practice in patience…

I got angry at my mom today.

I lost my patience. Huffed off. Said some things that I wish I could take back.

Adjusting to this new “normal” has obviously had its challenges. Memory loss and word recall issues are tricky to navigate, especially for loved ones.

Aside from the obvious, it presents a weariness of spirit that, admittedly, I allowed to get the best of me.

And sitting across from my beautiful mother tonight at the dinner table, wracked with guilt from getting upset with her, God stepped in, and removed a scale from my eye. And moved in my heart a compassion that broke me down in shoulder-shuddering sobs.

My mom didn’t ask for this. She didn’t ask to have a stroke during the prime of her life, with two grandchildren, big plans for her own ministry, and a bucket list of travel destinations, two CVS-receipts long.

And now, she’s unable to fully express the thoughts she’s having in her mind, and can’t remember things on command. Things we so take for granted. Things that I can’t imagine not being able to do.

It’s hard enough to watch a loved one have to suffer through that. But to actually be going through it yourself?

I was sitting there at dinner, looking at my lifeblood, my best friend, my soul sister – and I just thought to myself, Gosh, what a brave woman. If I were enduring that, I would be so scared. So angry. Confused. Frustrated. Discouraged. Annoyed. Anxious. Unsure. Restless. Abandoned by God.


The trial she’s living with — that she didn’t ask for — she literally woke up to.

She woke up and everything was different. Scary different.

And not for a second has she shown an ounce of fear.

She is so courageous. So strong. So valiant.


That is the reality she is living with. How dare I not be patient with this incredible woman who is literally fighting to regain her life?

How could I have lost my temper with her today?

My mother hugged me at dinner tonight in the warm embrace I have always known. She held me as I sobbed into her shoulder, accepting my apology and thanking me for acknowledging the hellish nightmare that is her reality. That she cannot just *fix* in a snap.

Tonight, thinking back…I’m being struck by one thing:

“Love is patient.” 

Why is it, that in THE MOST recited wedding verse, and the most famous passage on love, that patience — patience! of all things! — is first!?

I mean, *bam.* Right there. You hear that slapping sound? Yeah, that’s just God smacking me across the face.

Love is patient.

Practicing patience has so been on my heart tonight. And it got me thinking…why let the buck stop with my mom? Shouldn’t I be treating everyone with that same patience?

Because the fact is, everybody is dealing with some sort of unseen burden. Every. single. person. has something weighing on them. Maybe it’s not the devastating aftermath of a stroke, but there are countless other sources of suffering that we should be moved to show compassion and understanding for.

That’s been made so clear to me tonight.

To be patient is to love. They are one and the same.

And if we continue on in that hackneyed passage we find the last little love letter from God….

Love never fails. 

And there in lies the hope 🙂


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360 responses to “Patience as a Way of Life”

  1. I loved reading this! What a fantastic message, and a most wonderful tribute to your mom’s strength. She sounds like an incredible lady, and I send all of my thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Thank you so much for sharing with such compelling honesty, as always. Xxx❤

    • Thanks so much Clarie. I really appreciate your kind words and prayers. Oh gosh, my mother is my hero. She is such a special woman and she shares God’s love just in how she treats every single person she encounters. I hope to be even 1/4 of the woman she is. hugs to you xox

  2. We can never return what our parents gave us when we were weak but we can try and this is the best time for that. Prayers for your Mother♥

    • Thanks for your prayers, Parus. It seriously means so much. You’re right, we can never return that. I hope to provide even 1/4 of the overwhelming love she has shown every day of my life 🙂 big hugs xox

  3. Caregiving is physically and emotionally exhausting. You just needed a time out. Make sure you get rest, breaks, time away. It is the kindest thing you can do for both of you.

    • Thank you so much Mary. You’re right, it is definitely exhausting. But I find that I don’t even think about it anymore…just gotta do what needs to be done. But you’re so right, I need to be taking care of myself physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and socially. That is really important so that I *can* do this. I’m actually going to be getting away to NYC for two acting gigs at the end of the week, but I’ll be home by Saturday. Just two days. Thanks so much for your powerful insight. I am always so grateful for your thoughts! hope your week is off to a nice start. hugs xox

  4. Beautiful words we all need to remember. Be gentle with yourself too. Caregiving is exhausting physically and emotionally.

    • Thank you so much. You’re right, it is definitely tiring. Funny though that I don’t even think about my needs/body anymore. You just do what you gotta do. but you’re right, I need to be sure to take care of myself, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and socially 🙂 thans for the encouragement! hugs xox

  5. Last year I could relate to you, then November hit and with it an illness that threatens to take away my plans for a happy retirement. My right hand is swollen, has been since right around Thanksgiving, nothing I or the doctors have tried has been able to reduce that swelling. Now pain has settled in, I’m told it’s the nerves reacting to nearly two months of constant pressure.

    My plans for retirement, only 3 years away, was to restart my woodworking shop and to enjoy hiking the woods around me any time I wanted. Saturday I tried using a drill to bore a simple hole in soft wood, couldn’t do it. The hand just doesn’t have the strength to push against the wood without pain.

    Yes, I can understand where your mother is coming from, thoughts and dreams of enjoying those years now filled with big question marks. You need to try to see things from her perspective, with thoughts that at some time you too will age and things may not work out quite as you expect. I know you will be able to do it, just takes, as you said, patience. I never had the opportunity with my parents, my father died at 42, my mother at 55. I wish I would have, would give anything to have had that time with them.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so sorry that that happened to you! It sounds incredibly painful. You’re right, seeing things from her perspective will definitely open my eyes. I’m sorry that your parents are no longer with us here on this earth. I know it’s cheesy, but I find such comfort knowing that we will all be reunited one day, and we can say all the things left unsaid. Sending you big big hugs and prayers for healing for your hand! hugs xo

  6. I totally relate to this, my dad has been in a wheelchair with his MS for as long as I can remember, i believe this the reason that everyone comments on how patient I am, I grew up having to watch and wait for him to take twice as long doing things, simple things, because he was so independent he wouldn’t let people help if he knew he could eventually do it for himself! My mother is his main carer and through the years I’ve seen her become less patient, it’s trying, being the carer and you just want things to be back to ‘normal’ try not to feel guilty for expressing emotions, your Mom will know you don’t mean it and she’ll know this is a tough time for you too! Take care x

    • Hi Angela, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that you can relate on such a personal level. It sounds like you are an incredible daughter. You father is lucky to have you in his life 🙂 I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your powerful perspective, especially since you are going through this same thing. My prayers are with you and your dad. big hugs my friend xox

      • Your mother is lucky to have you and I’m sure she feels grateful to have you every single day! It will get better, you’ll get through this with love, for each other and for God xo

  7. This is a tough situation, Caralyn, but your faith and self-awareness are helping you through beautifully. Stay strong.

  8. This is so true. Patience is holy. I know what you mean with everything being insanely fast-paced in New York 😂 I’ve visited it before. You know it says a lot of a character that you’re being so honest about losing your patience with your mum and treating it as a growth opportunity. You’re amazing girl, keep shining 🙂

  9. What a heartbreakingly beautiful piece! Stroke is a devastating event, not just for the one experiencing it, but for the whole family and community of friends. Thank you for sharing! God is obviously moving in you life, and you are signing His light to us. Well done!❤️

    • Hi Kathy, thank you so much for your kind words. You’re right, it was devastating, but it is bringing our family closer and there is a lot of healing taking place on all fronts. hugs to you xox

  10. I appreciate you. And I pray for you. My dad had 5 Strokes, and one heart attack before he graduated to a better life at 87 years on spaceship earth. Over that 10 years I learned a lot too. So will you. God bless you and keep you.

    • Oh Dr. J, thank you so much for your prayers. I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like God carried you through that time…I am experiencing that too. thanks for the encouragement. sending much love and hugs ox

  11. When my Mom had her stroke, she was 74. It happened the day before her and Dad’s 50th wedding anniversary. We weren’t aware of what was going on til the next day. This was at a time when early response to a stroke was not as well understood as it is now. She lost most of her speaking ability, could walk only with a walker. My sister was still living at home. She had some recovery but died from complications of her stroke(s) eighteen months later. Every thing you do helps. Every thing you do is a Corporal Act of Mercy, caring for the sick. God love you all.

    • Hi David, Thank you for sharing this. I’m so sorry that you can relate on such a personal level. That just breaks my heart. I am so sorry for your loss. You’re right, being there is what she, and my family needs right now. Sending big hugs and prayers.

  12. Just beautiful in how you work with yourself to deal with not only difficult situations but also with your own areas of needed growth. And you will make and I pray so will your mom. Remember faith which allows us to be patient is confidence in what we hope for and assurance in what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1. Thanks again you are an inspirational example to this old gray head. John

    • Thanks so much John. I really appreciate your kind words. And your prayers! Heb 11:1 is my all time favorite verse. it has seen me through many a challenging times! so glad you stopped by! hugs xo

  13. Praying for both of you. This will indeed be a challenge but as we know, through God, all things are possible. May God lift you both up when you need it and may he embrace you with his love even more. God bless.

    • Hi John, thank you so much for your kind words and prayers. it truly means the world. you’re right, a bit of a challenge, but yes! With Him all things are possible. hugs xox

  14. Hello BBB,

    Have you ever read, His Utmost for My Highest, by Oswald Chambers? Great devotional. He talks about those quiet patient times as sitting a soaking before the Lord. It puts depth into us. The Lord is doing that with you. He is preparing his bride, so Jesus is deepening us to be filled more with Him. Your Mom needs to see more Jesus and you are opening the door for Him to work. We will be praying for you.
    In Christ,


    • Hi Gary! I have but it was a long long time ago and I think I only got through half of it. ill have to give it another go. thanks for sharing it! and thanks for the kind words and prayers. grateful for you! hugs xox

  15. Praying for you and your family. Stay strong in the Lord and he will show you what you need. You are so very strong and I can see where you get that strength from. Your Mother sounds like an amazing woman of God. May God Bless you and your family, may his healing hand be laid upon your Mother.

    • hi there friend, thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement and prayer. I really appreciate it. you’re right, God will provide. And oh my gosh, my mother is *the most* amazing woman. She is just incredible. Everyone she encounters feels Christ’s love through her. Just to brag on her for a quick second (forgive me!) she led two incredible women’s bible studies, each with over 130 women! And she is just such a rock for our family. she is truly our heartbeat. ok thanks for letting me toot her horn 🙂 hehe She’s my hero. big hugs to you xox

  16. Yes, it is a challenge. Been there done that, but when you come out on the other side, there will be a better you waiting. Each trial hones us like fire.

  17. Oh yes, be patient with your mom. My youngest daughter has been having to help me a bit through this breast cancer. After a lifetime of asking always what can I do for my child to make her life better, easier, and happier, the irritation and ambivalence I sometimes get from her in the face of my own needs feels like small cuts in my heart, whether right or wrong.

    • Hi Sharon, thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry to hear that you’re battling that. It sounds like you have an incredible daughter. Know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Keep fighting. You’re an inspiration. big hugs xox

  18. I found myself choking back tears when I read this. My Dad suffered with stage 4 cancer and dying after 1 year. He was helpless. So was I when I tried to help him. He was scared and so was I. We are born into this world an infant being very dependent on our new parents. When they age and the years tick away they in turn become dependent on us. They become childlike again. I can only imagine how he must have felt when he could no longer feed himself. All those times he fed me I suddenly found myself feeding him. You got angry maybe because you were scared. Your mom must have felt it. That hug was therapy for for both of you. Hang in there and cherish every moment. Hugs to you.

    • Hi Teresa, thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so sorry to hear that about your father. It sounds like you were both there for each other during a scary time. How grateful he must have been. That hug really was therapy. we seriously embraced for probably 3 minutes and 30 seconds. neither of us wanted to let go. thanks for your kind words, and I hope you’re doing okay 🙂 my prayers are with you and your family. hugs xo

  19. Love is patient. And being patient is an ongoing exercise. We don’t get it right the first time and every time thereafter. As your mom is learning to live in her new reality, so are you. Please be patient with yourself as well as with her.

    • Thanks Judie, this was such a thoughtful response. you’re right, I am learning every day. And that’s such great advice. I’ve got to be patient all the way around. thanks for stopping by and for your lovely encouragement. big hugs xox

  20. That’s Beautiful, it is amazing how she can be brave through something like this. We never really know our own strength until we are taking through something so difficult to handle. Thank you for sharing this! great reminder for us all

    • Thanks so much Shawna, I really appreciate your kind words. you’re right, she is an incredibly brave woman. I admire her courage so much. Thanks for the encouragement. hugs xox

  21. Such a beautiful post. I’m so sorry about your mother. She sounds incredibly amazing. But, this came at a wonderful time. My parents moved in with me and husband a few years ago. Their health is still good and able to get get around. I thank God everyday for that. But with the struggles coming from parents and adult children living together, I have been a little stressed and somewhat sad. But reading this has given me a new perspective and a renewed thankfulness for my parents. Thank you!
    I will keep you and your mother in my prayers! And hope to read more of your posts on a regular basis😃

  22. Hey Sister. Here is a Word of encouragement and confirmation to help you persevere in the midst of your trial: Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door! Brothers and sisters, as an example of patience in the face of suffering, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord. As you know, we count as blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job’s perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy. James 5:7-11

    I also wanted to share my personal observance of your spiritual growth and strengthening over the last couple of months. Yes, you will still be faced with troubles of all kinds, but you will be better equipped to handle all that is on your plate because you have sought out and received the strength of Christ Jesus. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30- “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” and it is only in Him that we care bear the burdens of this life. It is inspiring to see you grow in your trust and understanding of God and I know it still hurts tremendously when those we love suffer, remember that God is still God and He will never give you more than you can bear.

    Please receive this prayer for you and your Mom.

    Father God, I come before you in the mighty name and authority given in Christ Jesus. I pray for for BBB and her Mother who are now in the midst of a test and trial of their faith. Father I pray that you comfort them and remind them that their is no mountain too high or no valley too low for you the maker of mountains and valleys. I’m praying for a miracle on their behalf. I pray that you intercede and protect them from all harm and danger. I pray that the floodgates of your Heavenly bounty be poured out into their hearts, washing away all fear and worry. I pray for a peace that surpasses all understanding be upon them. I pray that you give them the strength to stand firm like David in the face of their challenge. I pray that they invoke the faith of Abraham, and believe in you despite what they see. I pray that you draw near to them and show them your faithfulness and favor. I pray for healing, restoration and times of refreshment over their lives, so that they will share a mighty testimony of praise, honor and glory in the name of Jesus Christ; I pray!

    • oh my goodness, thank you so much for this beautiful prayer. I am so touched. truly. Your words are balm to my spirit. I am bowing my head with you. Amen. hope you have a nice evening. hugs xox

  23. “To be patient is to love.” What a beautiful thought. And it is so true.

    Your mother is an extraordinary woman. She’s in my thoughts and my prayers. 🙂

  24. You have shared an amazing testimony. Yes. It’s true. Love is patient. Patience is one of the many attributes of love. The same subject of love was on my mind last week…to the point that God had me deliver the Good News of “No Ordinary Love” yesterday. When, and if, you have the opportunity, feel free read what He gave me to give to us: .

    Be positive and be blessed.

  25. Just came in to say you’re doing such a great job of being cognizant and aware of patience–it’s so easy for us to snap, so easy for us to just jump when anger wants to take hold. I completely understand your situation and can relate in my own similar situation (albeit slightly different). I’m really happy to see spirit-driven people like you take up the cross, even on the aspects we can overlook like patience in love, and stick to it. That’s life. That’s living.

    Keep staying strong.

    • Oh thank you so much for this encouragement. I am so touched by your kind words. You’re right, that’s living. we’ve keep those things in perspective. thanks for stopping by! big hugs to you x

  26. See, darling, this is your purpose…at least for now; you are able to see turnings in life, moments that heal and change outcomes…change eternity…and in your own way, using your culture’s methods and vocabulary, show how it is done…how life is done…how love is done. That’s what it means to do it as Jesus would do it…to take your insight, awareness, and pain; own it; confess it; heal of it; and then beautifully show and lead others toward a more honest life. Well done, pip-squeak.

    • Thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. You’re right, I do feel this is my purpose, at least right now. Because I am feeling so peaceful about it. So I must be on the right path, right? Gosh, I am just so touched by your kind words. Hope you’re having a wonderful week so far. hugs to you xox

      • I am having a good week…a God-filled week. I am going to write about it later today, I hope…about staying aware of indicators that it is time to make an adjustment or to let go of plans and paths (at least for the right now) that are not working, right now. It’s all about staying in touch with God and following divine guidance: learn as you go and totally in faith.

  27. This was certainly a tough one tonight! I’m glad you and your mother are at peace and that you’ve pulled something useful out of it. Additional reflections at Patreon.

  28. Wow, BBB, thanks so much for stopping by my blog earlier–so glad it led me to yours! My mom is 82–and it’s so easy to lose patience with the things she didn’t ask for: hearing loss, arthritis and other health issues the elderly have. Not sure how old your mother is, but she sounds much younger than mine. Keeping both of you in prayer. As an occupational therapist who spent close to 10 years working with adults, I came across many a stroke patient. Please feel free to reach out with any questions you might have. Just email me via my website. 🙂

    Ah…patience–the dreaded act of keeping one’s calm no matter what, lol. I’m currently dealing with a very young man who maybe has never been on the receiving end of enough of it. I keep praying for God’s wisdom, guidance and the words that will speak to his heart and help him effect some important life changes. And I pray constantly to love him unconditionally, so that he’ll love and believe in himself enough to grow into the potential God has put in him.

    Wishing you and your mom all the best and looking forward to visiting here again!

    • Hi Joanne, oh thank you so much for your prayers and kind words. It seriously means so much. You’re right, it’s easy to forget that. Yeah my mom is in her very early 60s. Wow, what an awesome job. You get to help so many people get their lives back. That’s so awesome. Thanks for the encouragement. I will definitely keep that young man in my prayers too. You have a beautiful heart, and that is so evident in your words. So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  29. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing this God moment. It is difficult when children have to become parent to their parent. But through your service to you mother, you are honoring God by following His commandment: #5. Honor your father and mother. May you continue to grow in your faith and feel the joy of His presence as you care for your mother.

    • Oh thank you so much:) what a beautiful note. I so appreciate your prayers and support. You’re right, this has been a difficult season, but ironically, I have felt so tremendously blessed through it all. God has a funny way of doing that, I guess. Thanks again for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

    • Yes, I do! 🙂 i spend close to 30 hours a week on this blog, from writing, to replying to comments, to managing the social media to creating the artwork…im trying to figure out how to turn it into a full time job! Haha but seriously… lol thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  30. You are incredible, Caralyn. Your Mom is an incredible woman obviously, and she demonstrated life to you, and she did a fantastic job.
    We all slip up at times, saying and doing things we shouldn’t. That is why we need a Saviour, Jesus Christ, to forgive us of our sins, and show us His way of life as we read the Bible.
    God Bless you Caralyn, and may our Lord Jesus Christ fill you with His Spirit, and may the Fruit of His Spirit be fresh in your life, and obvious for the picking, as you serve your Mom, Dad, and others that Holy Spirit brings your way.

    Galatians 5:22-23
    22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
    23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

    Continuing to pray, with expectations for a touch from Jesus on your Mom, and Strength for you and your Dad.

    God’s Blessings Caralyn,

    • Oh my goodness, George, thank you for this incredibly kind note of encouragement. You’re right, that IS why we need a savior. And hallelujah that Jesus is overflowing in mercy. Thanks for sharing that powerful verse. I definitely am going to pray for an increase in the fruit! Thanks again for your continued prayers. I am very grateful to call you friend! hugs xox

  31. I almost want to cry, such a powerful message. Things we know and yet forget so quickly. Continuous prayers and love from SA 🙂

  32. “The new normal” sums it up about right. And your instincts are spot on; patience is required. And you will really learn patience through this time… my own mom’s journey with Alzheimers taught us and changed us and slowed us down. It’s one of the ways God puts real gold in us. Bless you for what you’re doing for your mom!

    • Thanks for this. you’re right – this is definitely a learning period. I’m so sorry that your mom is going through that. you’re right, God refines us through challenges like that. thanks for the encouragement. hugs xox

  33. Thank you for this. I needed this kind of post tonight.

    Lately, I realize, I’ve been struggling with patience. I needed to be reminded: Being impatient is not what love is about at all.

  34. Life isnt always a bed a roses is it! I’m glad you find the time to write while supporting your mum. Often life changes for others in a way we couldnt imagine, but gives us strength and courage..and helps us forget our own problems.

  35. My mother started losing her memory and moved in with my husband and me. It turned out she hadn’t been giving herself her vitamin B12 shot for many months. I make sure she takes all her meds and fix her meals etc.

    My mom has always been a perfectionist; she is fun and nice too. I knew she would be picky about things when she moved in and prayed God would help me not to be offended. At first, she did mention how her food wasn’t perfect, or she didnt like this or that, but even though it was hard to hear it was helpful to know what she liked. She was upset a bit at first that I didn’t have olives and pickles and other things she was used to having at her home. So, I stocked up on those things. When I felt upset, I went into another room and prayed for God to give me patience and love. He always did.

    Now we have our menus and routines in place, she doesn’t complain much at all. She is grateful to live here and I love having her.

    I think it is so wonderful how you apologized and hugged your mom. This role you have now is brand new for you, and you are so young. I’m 66 and my mom is 89. I’ve had many years learning patience by having children and grandchildren and learning how to lean on God for his strength. Remember, you are not doing this alone. Jesus is beside you. You will most likely become much closer to him as you help your mother.

    • Thank you so much for sharing this, Belle. It sounds like you are an incredible daughter. I’m sorry that your mom is starting to lose her memory. I will definitely keep her and your whole family in my prayers. Amen to that – Jesus is beside us. Always. Yes, He has been carrying our family through this challenging time. thanks for stopping by! hugs to you xox

  36. Thank you for sharing this incredibly important message.
    You are brave too, for doing this. Opening up like you do.
    And your mother is teaching you so much from her condition.
    And to herself.
    And all of us.
    She is lucky to have you as her daughter.
    Blessings and Love to you, your mother, and all of your family <3

  37. Wow!! I loved reading this post. Sorry to know that you and your mom have to go through this. But it’s amazing how God teaches us the sweetest lessons as we pass in dark hours like these!

  38. Love, love, love this post. My mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia last year and your words resonated with me. I often feel guilty for getting short with my mom and not exercising enough patience. Living in the world where my mom and my son are both suffering with mental and physical health issues can sometimes exhaust me beyond my limits, but you reminded me that love is patient. I will be praying for you and your mom’s full recovery. I hope that you both will get to check some travel destinations of her bucket list in the near future. (((HUGS)))

    • Oh thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that your mom is going through that. I will definitely keep her and your son in my prayers. she’s lucky to have a wonderful daughter like you. You’re right, it can sometimes be difficult to be patient, but we are growing in the process. thanks for the prayers! And yes! We’re actually planning a trip for a couple months out to give us something to look forward to. big hugs xox

  39. Thanks your for your transparency and vulnerability in sharing this. Important truth, shared powerfully. You have given me much food for thought.

  40. When I was nursing Daddy back from a stroke, it was complicated with dementia which was exacerbated by the stroke. So my Daddy had impatience and irritability at first and as it went on and grew worse, his dementia wiped out his anger and impatience and he grew happier, which was a blessing. But my thoughts are this: fantastic opportunity to be humbled. This was the effect the experience had on me. Now that he has passed, I am thankful for every nasty cleanup, every disgusting smell, every opportunity to serve the one who took care of me the same way many years ago. The opportunity to be humble and others focused is a profound gift. And of course, when we serve others, we are serving God and He blesses. And in your case, I pray this is temporary, but what an opportunity to get outside of yourself and grow!! Praise God for such a gift!! He must see how precious your heart is and want you to realize all He can do through you! Keep your chin up and be encouraged. Growth is not for the weak. 🙂

  41. Thank you so much for sharing! i work with stroke survivors and patience is the best way to love them. Especially the ppl who suffer from aphasia! Did you know there is a world of apps and programs you can do with your mother or that she can do by herself, to train her brain in making new connections in the language area of the brain? A couple of hours a week at a therapist is good but not enough to get real improvements… You may want to look at to see what is available in your language (i am Dutch so i have only worked with Dutch programs so far).
    I think your mothers journey is not over by far, and from what you say she is the strong and derermined kind. I am certain that God has a way to use this life changing event in the best way possible, to still help her be an example of how great He is. bless you, and your mom!

    • Hey G, thank you for your kind words and support. what a powerful line of work you do! How interesting! I will definitely check out those apps! How cool! thanks for passing them along 🙂 You’re right, I do believe that God will use this for good. big hugs to you xox

  42. I am sorry to hear about your mother. I am sure that it is very difficult and I have no idea how it feels to have a parent that has had any of the issues your mother is going through.
    Something I am familiar with is losing patients with them. I think we all have those moments expectantly with the ones we love the most. It is so easy to get mad at them and to say stupid things but its because we know that they will forgive us and things will work out…most of the time.
    I hope that your mother gets better soon. I hope that your life and her life can return to some kind of normalcy for the sake of your sanity and hers.
    Good luck with everything!

    Side note…I love your blog and the way it is set up. I might have to pick your brain to get mine looking ans running better!!

    • Oh thank you so much for your kind words and support. it really means a lot. You’re right, I need to learn to control my tongue more! this is a season of growing and learning:) hugs to you xox

  43. Loved it. As I tend to my almost 90 year old Dad, I read your piece with a lump in my throat. Yes, you have put it all so beautifully. I want to hug you very tightly. (-If you are the hugging type.) It’s a tough thing to go through. Yet so great to know that you are where you would want to be, at this point and place in your life. God bless you for sharing these touching moments.

    • Thanks Shireen, for this thoughtful reflection. Aw, i’m receiving that hug gratefully and sending you a bear hug back. I will definitely keep you and your dad in my thoughts and prayers. hugs xox

  44. Hmm, just two days ago it hit bam bam bam the cousin relationship between Faith and Patience: both from the virtues lineage, gifts of the holy spirit… but sometimes it’s easy to recite them in prayers especially like ‘love is patient…’. But humbly realizing we need to go slow and learn over and again to live those out, is a bigger virtue. Princess, thanks for sharing… we are all in this struggling strides together

    • Hey Marie! You’re right, they are cousins! And amen to that — slowing down to listen and learn, that’s where the true growth and relationship with the Father deepens. Thanks again for always being so encouraging. i’m grateful for our friendship! hugs xox

      • Princess, and just now in my life, something I had asked and begged God for, seems to be forthcoming. But it’s not ‘sweeping me off my feet’ if you get it as I believe you would. So I near rushed to pull my curtains, and then saw a church and steppes in to pray. Patience be still said my Spirit, do a 9 days fast. There I go now… I am learning and reading posts like yours, sharing with each other, encouraging each other, hmm only our Almighty Father can facilitate all this awesome. Thank you too and virtual hugs to mum hundredth times over

      • Oh wow! I’m so glad that things are coming to fruition for you! God is so good, isn’t He!? I will definitely keep you in my prayers and you embark on this journey of patience. Hugs and love xox

  45. Reblogged this on Special Creation Woman and commented:
    This is something I tell myself I have already mastered. But that isn’t true. This is a good reminder to focus on Jesus and eternity as we interact with others, especially those close to us.

  46. I went through very similar emotions when my father had several strokes. It really was a scary, frustrating, and confusing time for the whole family.

    But you’re right. Love never fails. And although I understand your guilt — also remember that you are human and sometimes these emotions just happen. Stay strong! I’ll keep you and your mother in my prayers!

    • Hi Sunday, oh gosh I’m so sorry to hear that your father went through that. And thank you for the prayers. it really means a lot. know that you and yours are in mine as well. yes. love never fails. big hugs to you xox

  47. Such good insights. Yes, the learning will come in abrupt and uncomfortable moments like you describe. You’ll sometimes confront your worst self as the strain wears on energy and inhibition, and therein is the opportunity to understand God’s grace. Your own sense of perfection will go out the window pretty quickly; the only replacement is the perfect love that has chosen you. May you find rest and strength in that.

    • Thank you so much for your prayers and support. Learning does tend to come through trials. but there will be growth. And yes, God is showing us with grace to get through this right now. And you’re right, my perfectionism is going RIGHT out the window! haha big hugs to you xox

  48. I can feel you growing! PRAISE GOD! He is so good! I’m proud of you and so thankful to God that He is loving you in all these hard, comforting, joyous, needed ways!

  49. Tough break and I’m sorry to hear about this. It’s tough when any loved ones is stricken with sickness, particularly a parent (I am sadly speaking from experience). All the best to you and the family. It’s in God’s hands now and whatever He wills will be for the best.

    The best thing is for you to be there for your mother. She is very lucky; not everyone has children who would do this for them.

    • Thank you so much for this kind response. You’re right, God’s got this. And I fully trust in His will, and that He will take care of her and my family. Grateful for your kindness. big hugs xox

  50. I am so sorry to hear about your mom. My prayers are with her… do not be hard on yourself you are only human and your mom understands and she knows how much you love her Moms feel with their heart, words sometimes are not needed so hug her and just take each day one day at a time and feel blessed she is working to get better . God wont give you more then you can handle I believe . Hugs

  51. Hi, I enjoy your writing, my name is Merlin, you’ve been kind enough to enjoy some of my stuff as well (nurtureurnature blog). I wanted your opinion on something, it involves a meditation program I may be doing at an acting studio in Toronto. If you’d be kind enough to email me, as to whether you have the time to chat about it or not, I’d appreciate it. Thank you.

  52. Patience is the hardest virtue (for me, at least). It says the other person is not ENOUGH. Not fast enough or sweet, kind enough, thoughtful enough. They don’t meet our timeline, our demands, our felt need. It is the humble heart that is patient in the face of God’s patience with us who, in fact, were nOt enough.

    • Thank you so much for this beautiful response. You’re right, we’re not enough, but He makes us enough. Isn’t that such a comforting thought. Thanks for the encouragement. big hugs xox

  53. This post was so heartfelt written, it brought a flow of tears to my eyes.
    Thank you for sharing such a personal experience of growth.
    Bless you and your mom. She is a grand teacher. You are a fantastic student.
    Hugz, ren

    • Aw, thanks Ren. I’m so glad it hit home with you. Yeah, I am definitely growing and learning a lot. My mom is an incredible woman and teacher. I am very grateful. Big hugs to you xox

  54. This post moved me so much!!! I relate so much to it… My mother had brain cancer before she passed away and I still am haunted by times my temper was short with her. God bless!!!

    • Oh April, thank you so much for sharing this. I am so sorry that your mother is no longer with us. I find a comfort in remembering that in these challenging times, we tend to remember the good times, and the not-so-tender moments are dust in the wind. 🙂 I hope that brings you some comfort too. big big hugs xox

      • Most definitely!!! I agree completely! It puts things into perspective & helping a loved one during hard times can be challenging, yet so rewarding and fulfilling. I know your Mom is so thankful she raised a daughter as kind-hearted as you! <3

  55. Beautiful. I am so glad you are there with your mom–one of my biggest regrets in life is that I did not do the same for mine. It’s a comfort to me to see you on the right path. Praying for you and your mom.

  56. The world we live in today NY or Chicago it can be quite busy. Most time we forget who we are and simply expect everything and everyone to respond to us at the snap of a finger. We forget to love and show love, to forgive be patient and forget. We just rush.
    Thank you for reminding me again. Extra love and extra patience goes a long way.

    • Thank you so much for this kind note of encouragement. You’re right the world is busy! Always in a rush. But you’re right we should try to slow down and give some extra love! Hugs and love xox

  57. I really enjoyed reading this and it’s always a good thing to be reminded that we should be patient not just with our family but with everyone else as well.

  58. Hi Caralyn…full disclosure, thanks for this post as I have been struggling of late with what seems like an unending season of waiting. I think the hardest command in the Bible for me is “Wait upon the Lord”. I am insatiably curious and have a hard time leaving outcomes in God’s hands…I have this strange tendency to want to help God along…funny, I have never had God ask me for my advice…huh?! ;0) Anyway…I appreciate your honesty and transparency. You are an authentic and genuine soul and a treasure in God’s eyes (and a blessing to all us folks on the interwebs) Been praying for you and your mom. Grace and Peace multiplied!
    In His Amazing Love…Tom

    • Hey Tom, oh thank you so much for this thoughtful reflection. Ah yes, waiting is one of the most difficult tasks we are given, isn’t it? Haha I totally can relate in wanting to help God along! Better leave it to the Big Man 🙂 hehe thanks for your continued encouragement and prayers. It means the world. Hugs and love xox

  59. I always enjoy your posts. Perhaps someone has already mentioned that the Love Chapter is a description of God’s character. It’s an encouragement to us only from the understanding that God is the one who loved us first (was patient with us and so on). Isn’t that cool?

  60. While you are there taking care of your mom – and processing all that you are going through in your own life, – it may be helpful for you to take time off once a week for a short getaway to reflect and recharge your batteries. Remember that Jesus often took time away from his disciples and the crowds to go off by himself in nature to pray. It will be good for your family and good for you to take time out on a regular basis. Get out of the house by yourself. Go out in nature or to a coffeehouse or whatever you like. Relax and refresh yourself. God bless you.

    • Thanks so much for this thoughtful response, Alex. That’s such great advice. You’re right- it is important to recharge so that I can continue to be a happy helper:) Hugs and love xox

  61. You got me tearful there. I had to do something else in between reading so I didn’t look foolish in my office… in case someone walks in. Maybe not a good idea to read posts while in the office. Lol!
    You’re so right! And spot on – I got hit. I do get very impatient with my mom. She’s starting to be forgetful. Sigh! Aging. Even I am scared. But it’s part of life, right. And this is aging, not a stroke. I know, I know.. This being in the city makes us impatient and we need it more. I am practicing patience and other values when stuck and traffic and witnessing rude driving.
    Stay strong. God is guiding you and the family all the way. Keep the love!
    Warmest hugs to you dear friend.

    • Hey Anne! Aw, thank you friend. I’m so glad this hit home with you. Haha oh gosh I’m picturing the scene at the office! 🙂 yes this is definitely a season in my life where I am learning patience. Cuz you’re right. The cite can wipe that out of ya! Thanks for your continued encouragement 🙂 means the world! Big hugs xox

      • My pleasure. 💖 Always..
        We already had tears yesterday (maybe I was a bit harsh.. cruel to be kind..? so, can’t show top much emotions easily. Haha!)
        By the way, I have no idea how Ohio is.. 😃 I must Google. I’ve only been to California and Vegas. 😆
        God bless the whole family always. Much love and hugs my dear friend. 💖🤗

      • hah no worries Anne! Ohio is wonderful. It’s really beautiful. Rolling hills, winding rivers, towering trees and forests — to be clear, I live in the suburbs, but if you get a chance to visit, I would highly encourage you! hugs xo

  62. Continued prayers for your Mom and for you. I must ask the Lord often for forgiveness, and for a heart of patience and kindness, especially for those closest to me. I fail. I get consumed by my emotions, feelings. And I still struggle with adjusting to the new normal of my parents in Assisted living, with cognitive issues, etc, even though it’s been a couple years now. I pray for you and all caregivers to be strengthened. God bless you!

  63. I can truly imagine how you feel. Without going into detail, I’m truly glad you repented to your mum. GOD is redeeming my lack of patience when I was in your shoes.
    God’s blessings and peace!

    • Oh thank you so much Christie. What a kind thing to say. Yeah, I am too, she’s such an incredible woman and has nothing but love for her children. Thanks for stopping by and for your encouragement! hugs xox

  64. I know exactly what you’re talking about! God is calling me to be patient as well and I was told the same thing “Love is patient”. The words from a song I heard several years ago has been running through my mind constantly: “Love is patient, love is kind, love will stand the test of time”. How true those words are! Keep your chin up sister! It’s gonna get better! Sending you and your mom lots of love 🙂

  65. Ah, patience. Not exactly what we humans are made for. I’m in a season of needing patience with a little foster baby. He often keeps me from getting one single thing done, and all I can think of is all the things I need to do and how I can’t wait until he’s at a different stage where I can get all the things done. Then I realize if I don’t slow down and have patience, he’ll be out of the fun stages before I know it. Like my own children, he’ll be all grown before I blink.

    • Yes, patience is definitely a difficult lesson to learn. Oh wow, what a gift you are giving that little child. I will definitely keep you and your family and your foster baby in my prayers. big hugs xox

  66. Such lovely words. We all need to have more patience, with ourselves and with others. I so need to learn this lesson. Thank you. xx

  67. Great post, as always. I love reading your stuff. On another note, I have a technical question…what app do you use to create the stamps/fonts on your photos? Just curious.

  68. Patience is something that we do together. You’re very close to your mother. It’s probably hard for her to be patient as well.

    Some people can empty themselves and let a loved one move them. It takes a great deal of courage.

  69. I know how you feel…..your feelings are normal, from frustration, it’s not your Mom you are angry with, it’s the disease, the physical condition. My mom just had her second stroke a couple of weeks ago….she hasn’t come home yet. Surgery to remove a clot at her age is dangerous. Medication is the only option….she has lived longer than we ever expected, has had heart trouble since she was in her 40s. She is going on 84 now. Hang in there and know you are not alone, you are never alone.

  70. Wow over the last little bit you’ve really showed just who you are as a person. So I’m going to share something with you. It is sometimes easy to get discouraged in the face of adversity. Each trial a Christian goes through strengthens their faith. Each trial a person goes through gives them an opportunity to have Triumph and Victory if they allow themselves to work with God instead of against. As someone who has taken care of an ailing mother in the past I know what it’s like to get angry sometimes at the situation. getting angry at the situation help something though however as people we all have our weaknesses we all have our breaking points. however that doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. In the flesh we are weak Spirit may be willing we have to realize just the kind of physical strength we have as human beings we can only do so much. that’s why when times of trial, come our way we have to pray more and worry less diseases like this come straight from the enemy and it’s used to slow down progress of your mother’s work. However God’s going to use this time to strengthen the bond between a mother and her daughter so you live in NYC but your hometown is somewhere else I encourage you to study great women of the Bible to gather strength from them and his words. I’m going to let you in on a little secret and it’s time for the world to know last year I lost everything I had and went bankrupt I lost friends and the enemy tried to keep me out of church for over 6 months. I grew up in a family of non-believers I’m very much the Joseph of my family before Egypt I’m so dedicated to God that I refused to give in. I refused to go back to the way I was before. so what I did when I came home last year I gather up my finances to go back to school and also to go back to church but in that process I walked hand-in-hand with God studying the word away from the non-believers and using the Noonday Sun and stars as my Cathedral in that time I learned that I was tested like job, tried like Joseph but an order for me to be successful in staying committed to going to work the scriptures needed to become reality to me more in the physical world I need to just slay giants like David I need to have the courage of Esther I needed to pray like Daniel I needed to endure hardness like Paul I need to be humble like Gideon and I needed the words of Jesus to do it period during that time I spent 10 months putting together a sermon that’s going to change the lives of thousands of people your triumphs and that your trial can become your testimony. 1st Corinthians chapter 13 Matthew chapter 5

  71. This is a powerful confession. There are any lessons to be learned in caregiving. Lessons about human strength and weakness. Mostly I think we learn in caregiving about the things which are really truly eternally valuable. When everything else is stripped away these are the things that remain.

  72. The one thing I will say to you, don’t beat yourself up for any of the things that you feel. You are human. Yes you feel guilty because that is your spirit and the joy in that is that you have thought about it and come to understand that to be patient is to love. Sometimes through all of this we still fall short of what we want to do no matter how hard we try. God knows your love is real, your times of struggle are understandable and your guilt should never rule. He will be right there with you watching over you and your mom through good times and the tough times. Your love will never flounder so don’t wear yourself out just for being a loving human being. I speak from experience because my mother had Alzheimer and that was such a difficult walk through life. God Bless you and I pray for strength and healing for you both.

    • Thanks Corrie. I really appreciate this thoughtful response. You’re right , I have to give myself some grace during this time too. And that’s so true-God is absolutely holding up my family right now. Oh gosh I am so sorry that your mom had to go through that. Breaks my heart. Thanks again for the prayers. Know that you and yours are in mine as well. Hugs and love xox

  73. Thank you for being so honest and transparent! as I also have had to be caretaker for my dad and mom both at different times I totally understand the feelings of frustration. Praying your mom has a speedy recovery and that He grants you the peace to push through❤

  74. Biggest hugs U!! I am so sorry about things that have happened!! You are a wonderful daughter. Yes, we have to be patient when things like that happen. When my mom had her episodes in her house that made it “time to go” to the facility she went to, we could have gotten mad and all kinds of other things, but patience had to kick in. She is blest to have you there and God Bless you for doing what you are doing for her, as long as you stay. xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

  75. I am just teaching this to myself since yesterday… The creations of the universe are a living testimony to patience- slow, inch by inch, coming into being… Very well written… I really liked the last paragraph…May God grant your mom a quick recovery and to you both the strength you need 🙂

  76. I am sorry to hear about your mum. Don’t be discouraged. It is easy to feel overwhelmed when confronted with things you do not understand and cannot change. God is your strength.