Do You Trust Me? 

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Oh how my days are different these days.


I’ve always been a bit of a night owl, but nowadays, the nighttime is my own personal retreat. When the whole house is asleep, alarm on, and my darkened room is lit with the glow of my overworked MacBook, I can finally breathe. Reflect. Write. Numb out. It is my respite of quiet. Of solace.

Over the past five weeks since my mom’s stroke, I have definitely walked through a lot of emotions.

They say that there are five stages of grief, but I don’t think I’ve even ever allowed myself to “go there” and entertain that mindset of “grief,” because I have nothing to grieve. I believe that my mom is going to get better. Period. I am clinging to that hope. I am demanding that of God.

But tonight was the first night where I just was … well … I was feeling down tonight. It was a rough evening, and sitting here in the quiet of my bedroom, I let myself feel those feelings that I have been forbidding to cross my mental field since it happened. And I’ll tell you what…it was a pretty sobering experience.


Through all of this, I have so tried not to think about myself. I’ve focused on my mom. My dad. How I can best serve them. How I can update my siblings and keep them in the loop and keep them encouraged.

But tonight. I thought about me.

And I cried. A lot.

It was a mixture of some anger and then just deep sorrow.

I almost couldn’t catch my breath, thinking about how, I am so young. I have so much of my life ahead of me. Life that I need my mom for. Need her guidance. Her wisdom. Advice. Opinions.

There are so many things I wish I could have asked her before this happened, such as, should I wear a veil with my wedding dress? How do you hem a pair of men’s dress pants? How do you work through tough issues in a marriage? What is the proper wine bottle to number-of-party-guests ratio? What are the best memories of her early years of marriage and what does she wish she could have done differently/sooner?

Things that, I fear, she may never be able to fully answer.

And that gave me such deep sorrow. Thinking about all of her incredible wisdom that I could be missing out on if she doesn’t get “better.”


My mom is such a beautiful source of Godly wisdom on how to be a joyful and selfless wife/mother/friend/teacher/encourager/neighbor/person….why didn’t I interrogate her and tape record her answers when I had the chance and she was able to fully express herself?

But what really got to me was thinking about my future wedding someday. And how scared I am that she won’t be able to fully be present. Looking into her eyes in the bridal room before I walk down the aisle and not having the mother I’ve always known whisper the words I need hear in that moment…it kills me.

Crying in the darkness, letting my mind go to these heart wrenching places, I was about ready to just shut my laptop and close my eyes, and succumb to the images in my head. And in that moment, my heart surged with stillness, and I was filled with this overwhelming thought of “Do you trust me?”

I’m not saying I heard the voice of God, but sometimes, a phrase will just pop in my mind out of nowhere, and I am hard pressed to believe that those messages aren’t inspired by the Father.

Do you trust me?

Well, God, if you’re asking and I’m being candid…yes, but right now, I’m having a pretty hard time doing so.


Fear is a pretty strong emotion. It’s the trump card. When fear is present, all bets are off. And I’m going to be honest…if I let my guard down, I become pretty fearful.

Do you trust me?

Yes, Lord, I do.

My mom will get better. I am claiming that. Demanding it of God. But if she doesn’t and this is as far as her recovery is going to go, I know that it will be okay.

God will make it be okay.

God will make it be okay.

God will make me believe it will be okay.

God will make me believe that I will be okay.

Maybe there is something that I’m supposed to be learning in all of this. Maybe there is a greater plan at work, and all this was supposed to get my life or my mom’s life on a different path or trajectory than it had been on. Who knows.

But I do know, that right now, in this very moment, I am being asked to trust Him.

He has never forsaken me. Ever. Nor will He now.

Yes, Lord. I trust You.


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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

421 thoughts on “Do You Trust Me? ”

  1. I love all the comments on this thread, but there is one particular comment that I hope you could pay attention to– from jackie1227. She is so right. I myself have seen with my own eyes a lot of people healed- from cancer, pneumonia, deafness, blindness, etc. We were meant to live in the supernatural because our God is a God of the supernatural. You have the authority as a child of the King of Kings to remove sicknesses, demonic oppression, and every evil thing caused by the enemy. Faith is the currency of heaven, and that’s what we need to experience the miraculous. Step out in faith now and fight in the spirit. Jesus has conquered sickness and disease on the cross. Declare healing for your mom now in His powerful Name.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This post made me tear up so much because my heart is feeling for you. I love my mom so much, and I can tell that you love yours. God did speak to you, and He has great plans for you. 💕Trust Him. I am praying for healing for your mom in the name of Jesus!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yup, fighting the tears. C, I know what its like to struggle in trusting the Lord, I recently had some heartbreak that made it very difficult to do so but thank goodness, His faithfulness isn’t dependent on us! 😀 You’re such a strong woman of God, able to walk roads no one else can walk and still praise the Lord. Prayers and love from SA, Tom 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I didn’t read all of the comments, so not sure if anyone mentioned this- but in one of my recovery classes we had a stand in leader and the topic was grief. Grieving can be about many, many things. Loss of a lifestyle (for example, I grieved the loss of my dysfunctional lifestyle for awhile while trying to grasp a healthier one), moving to a new location, having your life changed by someone being ill, even. She drew a diagram and it is a curve- like a downward slant, bottom, then slanting upwards again. I wish I could remember all of the phases in it, but I do know one thing she said is very helpful is having a brother or sister in Christ walk with you through the phases. Basically, you went down the slant and you need to get back up it, and it’s a struggle. Maybe I’m way off base, but I know that it definitely isn’t always about the loss of a person- it’s about loss period- loss of what you previously knew life to be perhaps, and the person your knew your mom to be. Just a thought. xoxo -Praying for your mom’s full recovery.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That is such great advice. Because you’re right, having someone by your side through it all makes it easier. Someone to shoulder the load with. That’s a really powerful perspective. thank you so much for sharing it. I definitely needed to read that tonight. And Thanks for your prayers – it really means a lot. hugs xox

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  5. Trusting God. Trusting life. Trusting self. Trusting others. It is so hard to trust in that which we don’t understand. That is why trust and faith go together. And hope. And love. God bless you in your adversity. You will emerge, and be brighter for it.

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  6. Here’s a promise that you can claim, from the very mouth of God:

    “For I [fully] satisfy the weary soul, and I replenish every languishing and sorrowful person.”
    ‭‭- Jeremiah‬ ‭31:25‬ ‭(AMP‬‬)

    It sounds like you’re really going through a difficult season. The Lord sees your sorrow and your weariness, and He promises to be present with you as you work through this painful time. I admire your faith, and believe that the Lord will honor you for the way that you have so lovingly come alongside your mom at this time. Keep trusting Him – even (especially?) when it’s hard to do so.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh that is so comforting. Thank you so much for sharing that verse. There is such comfort in His word. Thanks so much for you kind words and encouragement. Yes, I feel Him by my side during this difficult time. big hugs xox

      Liked by 2 people

  9. Feeling for you so much right now. 2 years ago my mum had a stroke which severely affected her vision and planning skills. She loves to cook and is an incredibly organised person so this was a huge, and scary blow for her. I wanted to offer you some words of encouragement – firstly a LOT of healing and change can happen in these early months after a stroke. In the first few weeks after hospital, my mum was missing everything on the right hand side of her vision, so much that she would even leave half a plate of food, or bump into a cupboard door on her right that she had just opened. Texting was almost impossible and reading was a huge struggle. It was devastating seeing her so impaired. Imperceptibly, her vision started to improve and 1 year on her brain has made massive adjustments so that her impairments are hardly noticeable. She is no longer able to drive, but can do all the other things she used to love around the home. Be encouraged, God has designed incredible healing power within our very bodies, and the brain has this wonderful ability to rewire using different pathways, with practice. Will your mom have any speech & language therapy? I trained as a speech therapist and so can point you to some good online resources if you would like that?

    I am glad that for this first time you were able to really grieve, and cry out to God for those future dreams you have with your mom. He knows your heart, and I truly believe there will be a way for your mom to share her wisdom with you for your wedding, your marriage, your future. It may not look like you expected, but there will be a way. Sending heartfelt prayers x Toast x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this incredibly encouraging note. I am so grateful. And wow, how great that your mom improved so much! I’m so very sorry that that happened to her, but how terrific that she’s doing so much better. you’re right, He gave our bodies healing power! Yes, she’s gong twice a week 🙂 Thank you so much for your kindness and support and prayers. It truly means the world, Toast. big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Zen story: Good and Bad situation.
    There was once a farmer who owned a beautiful horse. One day the horse ran off and was never found. All the towns people said, “Oh, how horrible.”
    The farmer only said, “Maybe.”

    Two days later the horse returned, but brought with it 7 more beautiful horses. The towns people said to the farmer, “Oh..how wonderful.”
    The farmer replied, “Maybe?”

    One day the farmers son was training one of the horses and fell off and broke his leg and was in much pain. The towns people cried to the farmer, “Oh..how terrible.”
    The farmer only said, “Maybe?”

    The country was engaged in a war and the army came to the farm to enlist the farmers young son to bring him off to war, but saw that the son had a broken leg. They passed him by. The towns people cheered, “Ahh…wonderful.”
    The farmer only said, “Maybe?”

    Hope your mother returns to good health. Sorry to hear of her illness!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. The thing I have found so hard in this season of grief our family is walking through is accepting that a miracle did not happen even when we payed in faith, in the name of Jesus. Jesus has overcome death and is victorious and yet we live for the moment in a broken world. Not everyone is healed, we all have to leave this world sooner or later. I hear your pain, and grief over what may never come to pass in your future relationship with your Mum. But I know God is a loving father, He desires to give His children good things, He is faithful, Jesus knows your every pain and has walked the path before you. Even when things don’t turn out the way we expect, He will walk with you through the valley. Take heart, you are not alone. He will give you the strength and comfort you need.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I fully believe that God speaks to us. It could be through His word, thoughts, and through others. Don’t second guess it. In a discipleship class I took, the question was asked- how do you know when God has spoken to you? The teacher replied, “if it’s something smarter than you would have come up with on your own.” – Don’t second guess it, just thank Him for meeting you in that moment.
    God is good. He works all things out for His glory. This most likely won’t just be a story for your mom to speak of, but for you as well.
    Praying for you today!

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  15. You ARE learning. And growing. I don’t know the details of your mother’s condition, but many I’ve known who’ve had strokes say that they never lost the ability to hear and take life in. They just couldn’t complete the circuit and communicate. If I were you and didn’t know any different, I would presume that was my mother’s state.

    You only have one mother and your grief for her loss and yours (and everyone else’s) is very healthy even though it feels like crap. And stick to your faith for her complete recovery – I’m praying you even get a GIFT of faith to believe (that is, a special assurance and steadfastness that it will be so).

    You should probably know too that God does send surrogate parents into our lives if we’re open to it. NOT the same as our family of origin, but they can fill in a lot of the gaps. We just have to allow trust and love to grow with those of the older generation. Lots of wisdom and guidance there.

    But you will be fine. Everyone who prays is praying and God is faithful and worthy of trust.

    Keep writing; it’s beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind and encouraging words. It truly means so so much. That’s true, God brings people into our lives for a reason. Sometimes just for a season, but I fully believe that we are all in this together, and some people are brought together for a divine purpose. Thanks for your prayers. So much. You are a blessing to me 🙂 big hugs xox

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  16. you are such a beautiful writer! I am still praying for your family, and for you! for strength and hope. put it all in God’s Hands- when feeling overwhelmed. My mom always says “God’s got it” XX

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh, thank you so much. That’s really kind of you to say. And thank you for your continued prayers. that truly means so much. Yes, gotta just hand it over. I like your mom’s saying 🙂 big hugs xox

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  18. The other night the lady that preoccupied my mind for a number of months had just shut me down without a word. Blocked me of her social media account and Skype. I couldn’t even ask her why. I have no clue. I’m left with a lot of questions in mind. I was asking myself a lot of questions, tracing every conversartion, every moment spent with her. I cried honestly. That’s why I was moved with the way you describe your situation that evening. It was dark in my room, too, all I have is her image on my laptop. There was darkness in my heart. I am not angry. I just want to know Why. Until now I am expecting, hoping, at least, just a word. Is it really that hard to say “Goodbye?”

    Liked by 1 person

  20. It may not feel like it, but it seems you have dealing with the stages of grief–at least denial, anger and bargaining. Perhaps there are bits of depression and acceptance in the mix. I hold you and your family in prayer. You are a gift to your family for moving home during this time; I hope you can hear your parents and God say how pleased they are with you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Madeline, for your prayers. That seriously means so much. I think you’re right – there’s a mix of everything in my spirit right now. But it’s true, it’s a comfort to all be together for each other during this difficult time. My mom is truly the heartbeat – the life blood – of our family. And so none of us want to be alone in this. Because we are a part of her, and she is a part of us. Thanks for your encouraging words and kindness. hugs xox

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  21. Someone once told me that God doesn’t reveal the future because if we could see it, we’d be paralyzed. But He never leaves us and always gives us what we need so we can move forward to meet that future. He doesn’t want us to dwell in the past either, so He helps us hold onto the things past that we need to live in the present.

    I still try to remember that when I wonder how my life will be or wish I knew how _____ would handle something. God knows what we need and when we need it, so learning to trust that is huge…

    Continued prayers for you and your family…

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Wow, what a powerful quote. You’re right, I think God reveals His plan to us along the way, as we are ready to receive it. Amen to that, He never leaves us. What a comfort that is. We’ve just got to trust in His goodness. Thanks for your continued prayers. that truly means the world. hugs xox

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  22. I feel somehow that we are like soul sisters, our souls forever intertwined by our mirrored lives. When I first heard about dads’ stage 4 cancer I cried. When I heard that he would be going into hospice I cried even harder. The only solace I had then was knowing he would be receiving treatment in his home. You know the story. It hurts. It hurts so very much. That was my first stage of grieving. Like you I was angry. You have already gone through the first two stages of grief. Hang in there. Talk to your mom. I don’t know how bad her stroke was. My grandmother had several strokes before she passed away from stage 4 cancer. She communicated fine and spoke the best that she could. She was hard to understand most of the time. We held her hand and talked to her. I made her laugh by telling jokes. I too wish that I had talked to my grandparents and father more. When we are young we tend to focus on our own lives. You still have time. If she can’t talk, can she write words for you? Hang in there and in the meantime I will continue to follow your post and listen.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Teresa! Oh soul sister, I am so sorry that you are having to walk that difficult road with your father. It sounds like you have gained some powerful wisdom along the way. Yes, she is able to communicate, but her memory is still significantly impaired, and she’s having some word recollection issues. But she is getting better everyday. And every day I am clinging to the hope that she will be restored. Praise God that her body is 100%. Thanks again for the support. big hugs xox

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  23. JMJ
    Dear child of the Lord,
    In your prayers beg the Lord to increase your trust in Him. If you would be willing in a private message to give me your address I would like to send you a holy card. St. Louis Guanella was canonized as a result of a miracle that was achieved through his intercession of a young man who suffered a brain injury. This young man happened to be in Pennsylvania, but miracles could happen anywhere. You may email me at kellyf@servantsofcharity.org if you would like me to send you a holy card with relic.
    In the meantime, know that all of your followers, including myself love you and continue to pray for you.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this thoughtful response. Yes, i need to pray for that trusting in my spirit. Wow what an incredible life St. Louis Guanella lived. That’s so very kind of you. I’m in the process of getting a PO Box, and as soon as I do, I’ll send you the address. Thank you again for the prayers and support. it means a lot. hugs xox

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  24. Thanks again for another moving post. I can identify with what you are going through. l lost my wife to cancer 6 years ago and my children were only teenagers at the time. At each significant events, especially graduations, we all still feel the loss as we know their Mom would have been so proud. Now my eldest daughter is pregnant her Moms absence is even more poignant. I pray for your Mom to pull through so she can be there for you but rest assured, if it is time for her to be called heavenward, even though it will be incredibly hard for you and your family, you will get through as I know from personal experience that resting in our heavenly Fathers arms gives us a supernatural strength that helps us endure.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Malcolm, I am so sorry for your loss. That is so tragic. I cannot imagine the pain of losing your soulmate. My heart goes out to your daughter during this time when she’s looking for her mom. Thank you for your prayers. I will definitely keep you and your family in mine as well. Amen – we are safe in His arms. Thanks again for this beautiful encouragement. sending massive hugs xox

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  25. Maybe God just wants you to be present right now. I can’t relate to the stroke part, but I can relate to grieving for a parent who is still alive…my dad had Alzheimer’s for the last 15 years of his life. And it was really hard to watch. He was my hero (still is), and it was so hard not to be able to communicate with him. But I believe on some level, they know. I wished I’d asked him more questions too. I think you’re exactly where God wants you to be. And it’s okay to have those breakdowns…you’re human. It sounds like you’ve had a good relationship with your mom, and I think she feels that love somewhere inside, even though she can’t express it. Think how hard it would be if you didn’t have your faith. Sending prayers your way.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Lisa, thank you so much for your prayers and support. you’re so right – perhaps this is a season where Jesus is drawing me near to Him, and wants me to be in the moment right here right now. Oh, I am so sorry to hear that about your father. that is so hard. I hear that – they are always our heroes. He’s lucky to have such a wonderful daughter. You’re right – they know. and when we are all united in Heaven in the future, I believe that he’ll be able to express his gratitude and love for the faithfulness and kindness you are showing right now. Thanks again for your kind words and prayers. hugs xox

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  26. Part of apologetics is answering questions people have about God and tough spiritual questions. I remember facing these tough circumstances in my own life, and feeling similar. Needing to know that either way it went, I was with God. Even when it rains on believers… but it is a hard thing to do with so much at stake. I commend you for your strength in Him.

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  27. dear friend,

    sometimes we feel all kind of weather in us, not only sunshine, but the rain is there to give water to the plants in order to make them bloom, so even rainy days can give water to the soul – how could we appreciate the day if there would not be the night and vise versa? all these things belong to life, they widen our horizon even when sometimes there is pain and sadness. like clouds passing they move away and give again space for the sun – this weather in us: storm, sunshine, snow, rain, the seasons – are all part of us, they belong to our human mind. in case we can accept it we can learn from it and bring an overall sunshine in our hearts, then we will be a rock in the stormy sea of our life. seeing it and discovering it opens our inner book – which is called: spirituality or “man know thyself”

    i appreciate very much your respect and honour towards your mother and your mother was a living example how to serve close standing people and relatives. in this connection it is said that the highest knowledge is this: service to man and while we serve people – we serve God.

    God is living in us. He knows each heart and He also knows what is best for His child.

    Thanks, dear friend, for sharing this post written by your heart 🙂

    and do not worry about your wedding – surely all will be fine 🙂
    with greetings from my heart
    Didi

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Didid, thank you so much for this thoughtful response. You’re so right, we serve Him when we serve one another. And how true – He knows our hearts and knows what’s best. Thanks again for the kind words and encouragement. big hugs xox

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  28. I really understand, because my mom died early from cancer. We thirteen children did not know how we could go on without her. But we all knew Jesus, and we have all gone on with His plan for our lives. We are so thankful for what she taught us. Wish I was there just to give you a hug. Instead I will pray that God continues to speak to your heart. We can trust Him for everything.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Mary, oh I am so sorry to hear that. My heart just goes out to you. That is tough. But you’re right, Jesus really does work everything together for good, and He is worthy of being trusted. thanks for the encouragement. hugs xox

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  30. Praying for you and your family, and thanking Him. When you said, “I’m not saying I heard the voice of God, but sometimes, a phrase will just pop in my mind out of nowhere, and I am hard pressed to believe that those messages aren’t inspired by the Father.” that resonated with me, because I haven’t heard that “voice” either but when I get fearful thoughts, this phrase comes into my head, “O ye of little faith”. When it happens, it seems to refocus me into the right direction. Thank you for the post.

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  31. This post reminds me of a song I love to which the chorus says : (chorus)
    but i trust you
    lord its not easy
    sometimes the pain in my life
    makes you seem far away
    but ill trust you
    i need to know youre here
    through the tears and the pain
    through the heartache and rain
    I’ll trust you !
    Keep trusting in him girl ! He’ll never let you go! Praying your strength! Xo

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    1. Hi Soph, you are so sweet. Thank you for sharing this with me. What beautiful and powerful lyrics. I love that. Yes, He’ll never ever let me go. I’ve just got to feel His strong arms holding me up. Thanks for the continued prayers. big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That’s the beautiful thing about the community of faith ! You got people in your corner praying you through when you don’t have the strength to! I got you girl!

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  34. Our Most Gracious Heavenly Father You have heard the crying out of Your Saint as well as the prayers and wishes of those supporting her. Throughout Your Word, You have illustrated times where we, Your creation are in times of testing and turmoil, sometimes tempted to go our own way and rely on our own means. Yet again in Your Mercy, You have reached out to us, You have reminded us to trust in You, to put our Faith in You. Even Your Son, Jesus Christ in the garden stated the weakness of the flesh and His need for You. Just as Your Son taught us to be in faith and utter those truly powerful words; Thy Will be done, we pray for Your Will to be done here as well. We do pray for healing and restoration for her mother. As healing was spoken and the Roman’s servant was healed; speak Your words of healing and restoration for her mother. Additionally, reach out Your loving arms to the entire family, holding them firmly and blocking the invading fears and worries of this world. Pour our Your Spirit that will strengthen their faith allowing them and us to totally trust in You and receive a peace that surpasses all understanding. Bless her, her mother, all who have commented and are praying hear as well as all who have been touched and are praying for this situation. That by Your Grace, Power in Healing and Your Mercy, we will be of one voice in bringing praise and adoration to Your Most Holy Name. We pray in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen. Thank you for your strength and honesty in your posting. Doug

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    1. Amen. Thank you so much for this beautiful prayer, Doug. I am so incredibly touched by your kind and thoughtful words. Yes, that scene in Gesthemete is so powerful. Even Jesus needed God. Thank you for being such a blessing to me. Big hugs xox

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  36. As is said in several programs….don’t live in the wreckage of your future. It’s hard not to do, I fully understand. I’m always living in the wreckage. But don’t. You know that expression “One Day at a Time”? It’s pretty good. Spot on, actually. Oh….see also Luke 12:25 “And which of you by being anxious can add a single cubit to his life’s span?”
    All that said, yes, you are allowed to grieve for what is lost. And God understands those times of ‘no I don’t trust you’. I take GREAT comfort in the story of Elijah….how right after calling down the power of God on the 400 prophets of Baal,he flees in fear of Jezebel. We’re all allowed to fear, allowed to doubt God’s power and mercy and support. It’s not good to live in that doubt, but you can have it. And move on.
    God bless sister. Hugs
    xoxoxox

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    1. Don’t live in the wreckage of your future. Wow what a powerful statement. Thank you so much for this thoughtful note. You are such an encourager. I will definitely reread the story of Elijah. Thanks again. Hugs and love xox

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  38. You can check my page for a post titled Childlike trust in God…. I dont know how to share ot with you but if you get the chance to, i hope the words inspire you and give you strength to face it and conquer…. God loves you

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  39. Been there, know that place well- “the valley of the shadow of death”.
    Lost a life-long best friend in 2012, nearly lost my father to a heart attack and triple bypass that year too. In 2013 I experienced job loss, something that had never happened to me before. 2014 I lost my health, battled cancer, then a recurrence in 2015. Through it all, finances were questionable, and we wondered what would happen to us. On more than one occasion, God gently confronted me with that same question- “Will you trust Me?”
    He never let us down, never left us out. We never missed a meal, never missed a bill. God provided, in every way.
    “And my God shall supply all your needs, according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 4:13

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    1. Hi there Rob. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Gosh, I am so sorry you have had to go through all of that. It sounds like you’ve had quite a trying season. My heart just goes out to you. Know that you and yours are in my thoughts and prayers. It’s true – He never lets us down. God really is good. I find that it is to forget that when the chips are down. But He really does want to do good things for His kids. thanks for stopping by. hugs ox

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  41. My heart cries for you! You and your mother are in my prayers. I pray that all your dreams come true and that your mother will fully recover and be able to share in all of your achievements and special celebrations. Thank you for posting the wonderful pictures of inspiration, I have copied them and will share them with others.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Delores, thank you so much for your incredibly kind words. And thank you for your prayers. It means the world. Yes, I pray for her total recovery too. God is good and I do trust in His goodness and mercy. Glad you stopped by. hugs xo

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    1. Amen to that, Rebekah. Thank you so much for your prayers. Yes, I definitely believe that He has a good plan. I just have to learn to trust, have patience and surrender. Thanks for the encouragement. hugs xox

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  43. I’m not seeing clearly into the situation, Caralyn. This may not be helpful.

    A minister at Good Friday service one said “Rituals are for those experiences of sorrow so great that our bodies could not bear them.” Some strokes are manifestations of spiritual struggles that overwhelm our brains. When that happens, the work of healing must start in the spirit of the patient.

    When I confront those circumstances, I open my mind to them, seeking after the wound. When I find it, I allow it to enter my heart (which hurts like hell), and pray for the Father to enter that encounter. Even if the body is not healed, the spirit is changed, and that is eternal.

    The great difficulty is to leave myself outside of the process, to avoid seeking for myself in that intimate bond between the Father and the patient. Your acknowledgement of grief may be preparation for that surrender.

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    1. Hi Brian, thank you so much for sharing this perspective. How interesting There definitely may be something to that. Yes, there are lots of prayers going up to the Father. It’s in His hands. You’re right, it’s hard to leave ourselves outside of the process. But it is an important part of the process. big hugs x

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      1. You know, Caralyn, I can’t get this situation out of my head. It’s like you’re living a parable.

        The words the he chose – “Do you trust me?” – are a classic seduction line. It’s like an admission that you’ve held yourself pure all of these years, and now he wants to ravish your entire being with his presence. Women that go through this experience in sacred orders used to call themselves “Brides of Christ” because once it happens, no man can compete with that bond.

        The reason that I call this a “parable” is because the parables always expose the unfortunate paradoxes that enter our relationship with the Father when we think of him in terms of the men around us. Yes, he wants to ravish you with his love, but all those images of your mother at your wedding can also be interpreted as promises.

        It’s like he’s saying: “I can’t heal your mother without you, but only let me in, and I promise you that this will come to pass.”

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      3. How does the Catholic Church celebrate mothers that surrender their sons to a lifetime of service to God? Why does the Church do that?

        It’s because it’s hard for them to surrender their children.

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      5. When I was 16, my father used to come into my room after dinner to argue philosophy with me. They conversations eventually ended up going around in circles, which was very frustrating, so I asked him “Why do you come in here to argue with me?” His answer was evasive, but made me realize tat he really needed me to love him.

        It was at that point that I realized that I needed to stop trying to make my parents responsible for my power. It was then that I grew up.

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  44. My thoughts and prayers are with you tonight. God will see you through this difficult time. I am also going through a period of fear, and sadness right now. However I am comforted because I know Him. You will get through this.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and prayers. it truly means so much. I’m sorry that you’re going through a difficult season right now. Yes, we are His, and He will be with us through our trials. Praying for you. big hugs xox

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      1. Christ is always victorious, my friends 😉 There is no room for fear in his kingdom. We are called to rule over the enemy. Give your fear to him, trust him, his life-giving spirit will fill you and renew you. Love is always stronger than fear. Love is light and light can always penetrate darkness.

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  47. The Lord speaks to us and through us and i have no doubt the words placed on your Heart, the words you heard were from Him. Praying for your strength and peace through all of this and that He comforts you in your moments of anguish.

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  48. I only want to say, you are not alone, never. “He”, or “She” 😉 will always be there… I have been through soo many lonely and dangerous moments in my life and always, or mostly always, had God at my side. Especially, when I wanted to die at the age of 7,(!) I even “felt” his hand on my head, and I started crying and thought over what I wanted to do and I was so overwhelmed, that I was not alone at this moment… and I know the feeling as well, when a mom is becoming more like a child or someone who needs us. But I know you will have everything at your side to come over everything.. You are strong.
    Well, I lost faith a bit through the (tough) years, but of course I know God is still there. Especially with those, who still are young and have hope. 😉

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    1. Oh thank you so much for this thoughtful response. I’m so sorry you went through that as a child. Ok so glad that you felt His presence in your spirit. Thanks for the encouragement. Hugs and love xox

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  49. Everything will work out in the end. You don’t need to know how. You just have to trust that it will. The resurrection of Christ gives us the power to live with his Divine Light. His spirit lives within you. The energy of grace works within you here and now. It can transform your fear and pain into the light of resurrection. Trust the unmistakable touch of grace. His Holy Spirit guides you into all truth, always and in all your ways. In the heart of the storm is silence. In the midst of chaos, he creates something new and good. Everything is a stepping stone, and by staying on the stone that you are on right now, you create the opportunity to step to the next stone:

    „We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.“ (Romans 8:28)

    The word became flesh in order to make us earthly beings into heavenly ones, to raise us up from enslavement to sin, fear and death to the glorious freedom of the royal children of the Creator, to eternal life, to immortality. The truth is that your parents and friends will always be with you, in this world and beyond time and space. The spiritual teaching of the invocation of the saints is one of the most important teachings of the holy Church. Be fully convinced that they will intercede for us before God in heaven, you can pray to them, in the same way as we ask our friends on earth to pray for us. The saints in heaven are very lively because they are in Christ:

    “It is not limited in membership to those presently alive. Those in heaven with Christ are alive, in communion with God, wor­shiping God, doing their part in the Body of Christ.“
    http://www.antiochian.org/1123706246

    Your father, your mother, your siblings and friends – and your whole spiritual family – will be with you on earth and in heaven. ALWAYS! 😉 Blessings to you! I will pray for your mother. Light and love, Mark

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      1. When the wind of change blows, there are two types of people: the one build walls and the others maneuver the ship to the wide sea, trusting in the wind of grace ❤☝👌👐 And never forget your invisible crown 👑

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