Challenging Feminism

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Lately, it’s been really weird to be a woman.

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Not because of any fashion or makeup trends…although, I will say…I don’t quite understand the reemergence of the shoulder pad.

But because of all the recent hyper focus on…feminism.

The Women’s March, International Women’s Day, protests, walk outs, I mean, we get it already…

But to be honest, I am confused by the whole matter.

Women are not marginalized in the United States of America. 

What are they fighting for? Why all the anger?

Now listen, I know that this post is probably going to garner a lot of backlash, but you know what, that’s okay. I would love to hear thoughts on all sides of this issue. Truly. Every person is entitled to their own viewpoints, and I respect those feelings, even if they differ from mine. And of course, there is always room for improvement in removing some lingering issues, (representation in senior management, ensuring equal wages), but there is no attack on women.

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But again, I don’t know what women are fighting for.

Is it because we have access to health care?

Is it because 57% of enrolled college students are female?

I’ll repeat that….57% of college students are female.

Is it because women can hold any job they desire, up to and including the President of the United States?

Is it because women can wear anything, say anything, go out in public, drive a car, vote, go to school, worship freely, and have/adopt children here without the say or approval of a man?

I just don’t get it.

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Perhaps they’re marching for the end to rape. Okay. That’s truly a phenomenal cause, and I salute that.

But I honestly don’t think a march is going to change that. You know what might? A change in our culture. Maybe we need to reconsider the messages that we’re sending to young boys and men in society about how to treat a woman. Perhaps we shouldn’t be referring to women as “bitches and hoes” in our music and television. Perhaps we shouldn’t be objectifying or infantilizing grown women in our advertising. When we reduce a person to mere body parts or tools for pleasure, it’s no wonder that men feel they have the ability to take advantage. Perhaps we should challenge the multi-billion dollar porn industry. Perhaps we should be changing the narrative on that, and reclaim our dignity as women and prize our sexuality and virginity for what it is.

And women, we’re not off the hook either. Listen, I love a little black dress more than anything. Especially if it’s backless. But if we’re going to walk out of the house in lingerie-equivalent club wear, it’s asking for trouble. Of course men should be able to control themselves. “Asking for it” is never, ever, ever an excuse. But if we’re not respecting our own bodies, how can we expect anyone else to?

The biggest thing I have a problem with, is women who are marching for abortion rights.

It’s no secret, I am staunchly pro-life.

But here’s where the feminism argument just doesn’t hold up.

So much of feminism is tied up in the sexual revolution and the emergence of The Pill. The cry of feminism for women to have the sexual freedom that men “have” is the exact antithesis of what true feminism really is!

The very essence of being female is the ability to bear children. Bring life into the world. That is the one and only thing that is uniquely female. That is the aspect of being a woman that is what should be celebrated and cherished and protected. And, in the name of feminism, we’re fighting to squelch that? Fighting to suppress that exclusively female gift? That, in my opinion, is the exact opposite of feminism.

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“But we’re fighting for a woman’s right to control her own body.”

Okay, terrific. That’s important.

But here’s the thing. Abortion is different because it involves two bodies: the mother’s and the baby’s. Her decision is not just hers, but her child’s. How is ending another human life controlling her own body? That sounds to me like controlling someone else’s body.

You want to fight for the marginalized? How about you start with the smallest and most vulnerable of them all? – The child in the womb.

Frankly, I have been so disappointed to be a woman here recently. All the photos of women wearing red, and proclaiming that they’re boycotting work to show what it would be like to have a world without women.

Please. Give me a break. You have a job. A paycheck. A degree. Benefits. Clean drinking water. Health care. Equal opportunities.

This whole feminist movement thing, it just smells of domineering, desperate estrogen, if I’m being really honest.

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I am uniquely female. God made women as the crown of creation. We bring life into the world. We are relational. We are receptive. Feelers. Communicators. Soft. Delicate. Those things are who we are by nature.

Frankly, it is unnatural to try and dominate a man and emasculate him.

I think one of the most beautiful things we can do as women is to let a man be a man, and challenge him to rise to his highest form of masculinity: providing for his family, protecting, guarding, leading. That is what a man’s heart longs for: adventure. Rescuing. Providing.

Their inherent natures and our inherent natures are a complimentary pair. Perfectly in harmony.

Maybe if we call out men to be those types of upstanding men, and we their equal partners, complimenting each other’s traits, perhaps all the other things will work themselves out. Because a man called to true masculine greatness will respect a woman, her body, her mind, her talents, abilities, passions.

Because at the end of the day, feminism is not a bad thing. But its definition has been bastardized in recent times. Feminism is the revolution of femininity – in all its forms.

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We, as women, bring with us, our uniquely feminine traits – our feminine genius – into each and every role we take on, whether that be a teacher, a business exec, a mother, a nurse, the President, a professional athlete. Those uniquely feminine traits make us exceptional at those things, and should be celebrated.

A woman is a unique being: capable of all that a man can do, and more. We are the bearers of life. Why are we fighting that which makes us most powerful?

That’s feminism. That’s where we need to begin.

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701 thoughts on “Challenging Feminism”

  1. Reblogged this on LADYHOOD and commented:
    Women have come so far. I reblogged this post because of the validity of some of the points the original blogger made. Truly valid. I think we as women have made much progress but there is still more to fight for because equality is essential in all areas of life for women and men. Keep marching, keep fighting for our rights, and continue to value human life. It is.important to me to educate women to be the best versions of themselves because.it is The emotional and psychological struggles that cause women to doubt their potential!

    Liked by 3 people

      3. Oops hit send, lol, anyways, I can see why you might get some backlash, but I understand your viewpoint. We have come so far. But you are right, we have an emotional and social barrier with men, that causes an extra hurdle to jump, in my opinion as a black woman, all areas. There have been countless times that a man, in the workplace, white or black, have talked down to me or made me feel inferior. But, this only happens when I am in a power position! There is a long journey ahead getting over that!

        Like

  2. As long as feminism is even remotely associated with purple haired women dressed as vaginas marching, and carrying signs that lecture on morality then I’ll reject feminism. My own definition more closely resembles yours as depicted in this article. A good read and one that provokes thought, as the comments following the article attest.

    Liked by 5 people

  3. Well, well, didn’t you open up a can of worms 🙂 I love opinions. I like to see what people think on subjects. It’s how we learn, grow and understand people in the world around us. I am particularly impressed at how you voiced your opinion, with out being malicious. That says a lot about a persons character 🙂 No attacking, no condemnation, just your opinion. It’s the way civilized people should behave and we’d get a lot more accomplished. When the vicious, venom starts is when things come to a screeching halt and we all stand stagnant, rotting in the position we are in and nothing improves. As always, it was a pleasure to read.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you so much 🙂 THat’s so kind of you to say. I think you’re absolutely right – there is something to be learned, new insight and perspective to be gained from every person. and a healthy dialogue is a really great tool ! vicious attacks, especially when it gets personal, is a far cry from beneficial. thanks for the support and encouragement! big hugs xox

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Hello my dear friend, finally some has the nerve to call it like they see it. I stand with you on more than one issue. I too am confused about the marching and I don’t live in America. Your post was exactly what need to read. America needs to read this post. Women are beautiful creatures yes that I agree with. However changing the narrative is what America needs right now. Every thing you said about women in the post tonight speaks volumes. Although I would never refer to women as those in the music and television industry does. The marches happen because of liberalism. I agree that some laws need to changed for example Obama Care, Wages, and bringing the Bible into schools. I don’t think women need to reminded that they were not favoured years ago. Time has passed. Women and Men everywhere are appreciated by me and others. After all.. I appreciate you, and you appreciate me. We may have our disagreements but at the end of the day we still pray to the same God. THUS making you a friend indeed. Oh by the way, don’t even get me started on the “industry” It’s truly a trap door into the pit.. Sex is a beautiful act of two people coming together in Love, mind you they have each other’s ring on to be in that state of love to partake in such things. However America has given over to the lust of the world and pride of life. Most certainly the lust of the flesh. God created love to create life. The enemy has defiled the act of love and turned into lust and thus creating disease. See the difference?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Lots of powerful food for thought here, A. thanks for sharing this. You’re right, i think we need to change the narrative on a lot of things. But healthy dialogue is a great key for change, and i appreciate you joining in! and yes, i definitely see the difference! big hugs xox

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  6. “But if we’re not respecting our own bodies, how can we expect anyone else to?”

    So, wearing something that makes us feel sexy and honoring ourselves in that way is not respecting our bodies? I’m confused.
    Also, I don’t think you completely understand what feminism is. There’s been a lot of branches come out of it and the most mainstream one has always been about wanting to do what men do. Feminism is not an attack on men. It is not about emasculating men. It is not even wanting to take the place of men. This branch has dampened and clouded the entire truth of Feminism and where it came from. It’s distorted. Feminism is about what you mentioned above. It’s shifting away from the idea that we’re “only made to have children.” That is ludicrous in my opinion. It’s about the right to choose, the right to have control over their reproductive health, and the right to walk around in this world in whatever it is they want to wear without being catcalled or susceptible to sexual assault. Women are seen as objects. Point blank period. We are constantly sexualized and it’s always a “surprise” when our intelligence or humor is noticed, almost as though we’re not actual human beings. Girls are not allowed to wear shorts, tank tops, leggings or v-necks, especially here in the south even if it’s 100 degrees, because it’s a distraction for the boys. We aren’t allowed to be comfortable because it may rile them up. It’s about equal pay. It’s about having the same opportunities as any man, provided they would be interested in pursuing them. It’s about having a voice, not being ridiculed or brushed off because we’re “irrational” or “on our period.” Just because you may have had more privilege or better experiences does not mean it’s the same for others. Far from it. You’re lucky, and should be grateful for that. I lovingly ask you to not project your personal reality onto others. It’s subjective. Encouraging feminism (the true basis of it) is actually what will help even the scales between the masculine and the feminine. I appreciate your candidness here and courage to share your thoughts, but I simply do not agree.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Kayla, thank you so much for joining the dialogue and sharing your thoughts. I sincerely appreciate hearing the different viewpoints and ideas. You’re right, as a caucasian woman in America, i definitely have a lot to be grateful for, which I fully am. I just wanted to clarify that i don’t associate *all* feminism with emasculating men. i just have seen that as a trend in the marches. again, feminism is not a bad thing – i just prefer a slightly different definition that is more about celebrating our differences as uniquely female. but there is a lot of great food for thought here that i am taking to heart, so thank you for sharing that. big hugs to you xox

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I think there is still a place for feminism. However, skipping work, because it is the International Women’s Day, that message is lost on me, and seems to come from a place of privilege and arrogance.
    I live in a fairly liberal college town. Those who would identify loudly as feminists have their flaws like anyone else does. It is one thing to participate in a march. It is another thing to actually DO something on a grass roots level that would improve conditions for all women.

    Regarding an earlier comment about not all birth control methods for women being covered, but that Viagra is, I’d suggest you do more research on this. Sildenafil(generic Viagra) is also used to treat pulmonary hypertension, and have heard through some of the patients who take this that is not cheap.

    I think the brand of feminism that has come out of the election has been somewhat troubling and assumes men face no issues of their own. Having a son has made me more aware of these issues than I had been previously.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Kate, thank you so much for sharing this thoughtful response. You’re right, the type of feminism that has come out post election has been an aggressive type that is not taking into account the feelings and views of all women, and it is troubling at best. I can only imagine the hurdles you’re facing as you raise a strong son in today’s society. Hang in there and take heart. it sounds like you’ve got a really solid foundation upon which you’re helping him grow him into a great person 🙂 big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  8. Best thing I’ve read all day! Thank you for this. I completely agree. I feel these women are doing more harm then good by their marches and fights for feminism. They may think they’re representing women, but they are definitely not representing me. God made us to be different, so let’s celebrate that and fight for something that’s worth fighting for.

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    1. Thanks so much Carla! I really appreciate the support. you’re so right! God gave us unique, special, feminine qualities that we bring with us into whatever job we do! Yes, let’s celebrate that! thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Love this post, agree 100%! For things to get better we don’t need marches and feminism we need for men and women to embrace their God given roles which are perfect compliments to one another. Eve was made specifically to be Adam’s help meet, women are the glory of men, we are treasures to be cherished as precious blessings from God. Not objects to be used, abused, and discarded. The bible is very clear on the roles of each sex on their own and in relation to each other. If those roles were once more instilled into society (whether you are a believer or not the roles themselves presented in the bible are complementary and good.with women being viewed as equals to men. I know it says they are the weaker vessel, this means in brute strength, not lesser.) then the issues we see in all societies between men and women would cease to exist. But when we turn our backs on God and his ways then we get what we have today – a bunch of people hurting each other and themselves in the name of pleasure. (Yes, that includes killing the unborn after a few moments of sexual pleasure had consequences that were undesired! If a woman wants to choose what happens to her body then choose before it happens to have a second body in it. Choose before there is another soul depending on her for protection, choose not to do those acts which create that innocent life within a woman’s womb if you don’t want children. Virginity till marriage is admirable, is biblical, is practical. It’s the only 100% sure way of not creating another life. I know that not all pregnancies begin by choice, my first one didn’t, I was raped, but the added wrong of brutal murder (let’s be honest that’s what it is – a person is a person no matter how small, the soul is there at the moment of conception) of that innocent baby is not going to fix it. Two wrongs will never make a right.

    Sorry, off my soapbox now. You’ve read my posts and know my feelings on these issues, it sometimes pours out of me. I weep and pray for our world, for the littles. Thanks again for speaking it much more eloquently than I am able and for speaking for the children.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you so much for sharing this and for joining in the dialogue. First of all, I am so sorry to hear that you went through that devastating event. I am so sorry that that person did not treat you with the respect and dignity that you deserve. you did not deserve that, and my heart just goes out to you. you are in my heart and prayers, my friend. I also agree with you about men and women. we are a perfect compliment to one another, and we should celebrate those uniquely feminine qualities that give us awesome talents and abilities. we bring them with us into any role we fill. Thanks again for stopping by. sending all my love 🙂 hugs ox

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      1. Thank you. It happened over 20 years ago, I was young, I was planning to keep the baby but it wasn’t meant to be, I miscarried at 4 mos. I am always reminded of it when I hear people use rape as a valid excuse for abortion. That’s the same as saying it’s a valid excuse to kill the rapist. Either is murder. I know one day I will see that my first child again, and God brought my amazing husband into my life a month after the miscarriage. 12 years ago we were blessed with our amazing son who will one day meet his brother or sister in heaven. God uses all things for good and even though I wasn’t saved when it happened in fact not for another 13 years, God used that situation to shape my believe about abortion. It was a hard situation but it made me who I am today. Thanks again, friend. May God bless and keep you.

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      2. Oh gosh, I’m so sorry about that. gosh, it breaks my heart. Yes, you will. I always find comfort in knowing that we will be reunited with our loved ones one day in Heaven. And yes, your baby will be waiting to give you a big hug. Yes, He works all things for good. Amen. Thanks again for sharing this.you are an incredible person. xoxoxoxox

        Liked by 1 person

  10. “But I honestly don’t think a march is going to change that. You know what might? A change in our culture. Maybe we need to reconsider the messages that we’re sending to young boys and men in society about how to treat a woman.”

    Nailed it. There IS an attack on women, but it is not coming from the places feminists say it is, and it is not targeted towards the places feminists say it is.

    Like

  13. I am not sure if I can call myself a feminist but this is what I believe in: Us females have equal HUMAN rights as males BUT I do believe that man should be a step ahead of us women. We shouldn’t bereft them of their ability to become a man, a family provider, a hero; everything that makes a man a man. I agree to this blog!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Love this post. I have long hemmed and hawed about how to address this issue on my own blog, but I’ve worried I wouldn’t be able to say it eloquently or lovingly. 😉 You said it beautifully and respectfully, IMO. I just cringed a little at the end when you wrote, “A woman is a unique being: capable of all that a man can do, and more.” And I just have to ask, why must we be MORE? Why isn’t it enough to be on par or even, heaven forbid, a little inferior than man? Not inferior in WORTH, but just look at our body structure—you take the strongest man and put him next to the strongest woman and that man is going to be stronger. Sorry, ladies. That doesn’t mean it’s a BAD thing. And again, our worth is not on the line. So what if we’re a little less capable in certain areas? Men are a little less capable than women in other areas. And it’s only when we come together that we can make a whole. But our intrinsic value is the same in God’s eyes, no matter our sex, our race, or the baggage we carry.

    I don’t know why our society is so fixated on making everything equal–or allowing the pendulum to fully swing in the opposite direction. Even Jesus’ parables in the Bible didn’t show equality (the three men with the different number of talents; the workers who worked all day vs. those that came in at the end, yet they were all paid the same amount). For that matter, Jesus wasn’t fair among his disciples! Only three of them went with him to the Mount of Ascension (imagine how the other nine must have grumbled). 😉 And think of all the times in the OT when the younger brother got the blessings and the fame instead of the older ones (Jacob, Joseph, David, to name a few). Jesus himself said the last shall be first, to gain our lives we must lose it, and that he didn’t come to serve but to be served. We’re not a very “serving-oriented” country these days. (Trying to push God out of said country might have something to do with it—haha.) 😉

    In the end, the issue is being respectful of others’ strengths and weaknesses, and not getting jealous or resentful or feeling threatened when someone else has something–be it material or a character trait, etc.–that we don’t have. We have a tendency to look up or down at others when comparing, when instead we should “keep our eyes on our own papers,” as someone recently said to me. Such a hard concept in this land of plenty!

    Again, thanks for having the guts to post this. I pray God blesses your socks off for being faithful to His call. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. wow, what an awesome (and eloquently put!) response! thank you so much for sharing this. it was a joy to read. you’re so right, the bible is full of that. and also, the bible was not “anti-women” in the least! so much of what you said – nay, ALL – resonated with me and I found myself nodding my head. to clarify my “and more” statement, i was merely referring to our childbearing capabilities. 🙂 but you’re right, men have uniquely masculine traits and we have uniquely feminine traits and yes, together we make a complete pair. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by! big hugs, and God bless your socks off too! 😉 xoxox

      Liked by 2 people

  18. I have to say i disagree with this midset that the US does not need feminism. Feminism has been twisted around by a lot of people but at its essence it is equality between all people. Men and women. Not sameness, equality. Too many so called feminists twist that to mean that it is time for women to have their day in the sun and push it to the point that they treat men the exact way that they don’t want women to be treated. And too many people think that things are so good in the US that feminism is not needed anymore. But even though the US is better than most countries for equality it still is not equal. You see that yourself when you talk about how there is still unequal wages, issues with rape, and so many other things. Plus add on all the constant flicks women get daily. Flicks like your landlord being surprised you actually know how to handle tools. Flicks when guys think they are complimenting you by telling you you are too pretty to be an engineer. Flicks and flicks and flicks that are all socially acceptable. It needs to stop. That is why we need feminists. Real feminists who help it pull feminism’s name back out of the gutter. I think there is even a feminist in you because you see we aren’t equal yet. Even if you think the US is pretty damn close at least be a feminists for all thise countries that aren’t.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. thank you so much for this thoughtful response. i really appreciate you joining the dialogue and sharing your perspective! i do feel you on the “flicks.” that’s a great way to put it. i think there needs to be a change in our culture, and the depiction of women in the media to help combat that. it is such a challenging issue because the solutions are hard to come by and implement. but it all boils down to respect. for all people. and that is a lesson that is learned in the home. love the dialogue! and i sincerely appreciate hearing from all sides. 🙂 big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  19. My dear friend

    I think that women are not yet in a balanced position beween men and women. I can only compare it to Europe: In politics they are still minorities and do not have that stand as men have – so more male politicians determine the direction of the politics. Another point is salary: Women do not yet get the same salary for the same job with reference to men’s salary. There are surely more points that show an imbalance in comparation to men. On the other side there is always a risk that women protests may just aim at reaching the imbalance but then just vise versa. Anyway it is their right to fight for the balance. If there are equal rights for women and men – then all is fine – and then there is no longer the separation between women and men but the respect that we are all, first of all, – human beings – which should be treated equally.

    Thanks for sharing, my friend 🙂
    All good wishes
    Didi

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    1. Hi Didi, thank you so much for this thoughtful response and for joining the dialogue! you’re right, there is definitely room for improvement in those areas. and that is so true – everything comes down to respect – for all people. that is a non-negotiable. thanks again for sharing your views. i am less up-to-speed on the conditions in Europe, so i appreciate you shedding light on that 🙂 big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  20. I totally agree with your opinion, even i feel the same. But some where and maybe those who are passing through this problem of not geting equal opportunity in society will be fighting but even around me i see everyone is getting the opportunities but some are there who may not get up and take the oportunities.

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    1. Hi Sona! thank you so much for this thoughtful response. I think you’re right, i think the opportunities are definitely there. of course, there is room for improvement, but women are not “second tier.” they’re movers and shakers in the business world, starting and running companies, inventing and innovating things, doing all that a man does, and more! it’s worth celebrating. thanks for stopping by and for passing on my blog on your site! big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Thanks for a good read.

    No wonder Emma Watson was very confused about the ruckus over her posing in an open crochet top. Where are the pro-feminism topless female marchers speaking up in her defense? What are women are fighting for? Is it because 57% of enrolled college students are female? Is it because women can wear anything or openly bear their chests as in the topless culture of Bali?

    On Tue, Mar 21, 2017 at 6:59 AM, BeautyBeyondBones wrote:

    > beautybeyondbones posted: “Lately, it’s been really weird to be a woman. > Not because of any fashion or makeup trends…although, I will say…I don’t > quite understand the reemergence of the shoulder pad. But because of all > the recent hyper focus on…feminism. The Women’s March, Int” >

    Like

    1. thank you so much for sharing these thoughts! yeah, there is definitely a lot of media coverage over Watson’s words and actions here recently. it’s fascinating to watch it play out, to say the least. hugs xox

      Like

  23. Reblogged this on WildTangents and commented:
    Feminity redefined
    . I had to reblog this because of the very valid points the author made. Feminism has gradually evolved into a man-hating movement whilst propagating a lot of immoral ideas. It is alright to teach young women to love themselves and their bodies. It is alright to want equity. It is alright to speak out for the millions of women that are oppressed all over the world. The most important thing is that we teach and encourage young women to look within themselves and discover that which makes them unique. And then look out into the world and effect positive changes.

    Like

  24. Oh, I am SO gonna re-post this on my blog.

    But on another note, who takes your pictures? There is somebody else we are not seeing, right? They’re not ALL selfies, are they?

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    1. Hey Anthony! thank you so much for repost ing my piece and for saying such kind words about my blog 🙂 haha oh gosh, a magician never reveals her secrets 😉 jk jk — i have a studio of sorts in my apartment in NYC with a tripod and lighting and such for my acting audition videos. so i use that. but in ohio, they’re just good old selfies! hahaha you caught me!! 🙂

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  25. Reblogged this on The Recovering Legalist and commented:
    Trust me, whenever I reblog something from another writer, it’s worth the read, and this is no exception. The world needs more women like this – REAL women – who love being women, and want men to be REAL men.

    All I can say is, “DADGUM this post was refreshing!”

    Like

  26. I support feminism too, I have a friend who is a Feminist and pro-life with some objections but, God knows I have those same objections He knows how I feel about it and I think he understands me for it. I really think abortion should be allowed in extreme circumstances for example a result of rape or the health of the mother is evidently at risk by proceeding
    Anyway hope you and your mother are well 😘 sending you both lots of love and prayers 💜 xxx

    Like

    1. thanks for this thoughtful response, Benjamin. And for your continued prayers for my mom and i. that truly means the world. and thank you for sharing your views! it is definitely a delicate and emotionally charged topic, and I thank you for joining the dialogue! hope you have a great day! big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. How are you and your mum doing? I had a good day until I got into the dentist chair 😂😂😂

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      2. thank you so much for asking, she’s doing great – better every day. still a long way to go, but she’s amazing, and is a fighter! 🙂 and ohhhhh i hate the dentist ugh….well, at least it’s over and done with for another six months 🙂 hugs xox

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      3. And how is Caralyn dealing with it all 😘 you are going to be such an caring mother based on how you been with your own 😘

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      4. oh my goodness, you are so kind Benjamin. thank you. i’m doing okay. just trying to take it one day at a time. i’m really trying to figure out what to do with my life haha and more specifically where i’m going to live. i’m being pulled in both directions. so who knows. just trying to trust. thanks for asking. you’re a great friend 🙂 xox

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  27. You know something I’ve been a way left liberal in the past. I even got into it with over your views but even though I still don’t support that guy for more obvious reasons than ever. I have to admit that I’m leaning more conservative on most of these other views. I agree with you completely on this post. I see a lot growth, you go at both side; both men and women. I’m actually considering dropping out of art school because I shared my views to these liberal so called open minded individuals and got crucified for it.

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    1. Thanks so much 🙂 oh no, I’m sorry that you experienced that at art school. I hope that things work out there so that you can finish your schooling, i know how much hard work that is! sending you big hugs for that. i was just hoping to start a dialogue, and I’m so grateful for people taking the time to respond! thanks for stopping by. great to hear from you and i hope you have a better week at art school this week 🙂 xo

      Liked by 1 person

  29. I think you pretty much nailed it here. When feminism becomes all about wanting to do everything males do whilst disregarding all the things males CANNOT do then the entire concept loses its validity and becomes nothing more than a laughing stock. Neo feminists are the new militant vegans and nobody is taking them seriously. I hope posts like this make them see that and readjust their goals.

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    1. thank you so much Paul. i think you’re right, it should be seen as a competitive jockeying for the upper hand. it leaves me feeling cold if i’m honest. haha i’m actually vegan 🙂 but because i have a digestive disease and its part of my therapeutic diet to keep me in remission 🙂 lolol but seriously, thank you for sharing your insight and joining the dialogue! hugs xox

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      1. I have nothing against vegans of course. I was just meaning in terms of them being the butt of jokes. It was a post worthy of commenting on as I think feminism is starting to make a mockery of itself in some ways and your post reinforced my suspicions. I’m not surprised it has received as many likes as it has x

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  30. I am so saddened by this post on more levels than I can probably address in a short comment but mostly about the comments on abortion. I’m a woman of faith, but I was raped, by a family member, repeatedly when I was young. As a young teenager I became pregnant. My ONLY way of gaining some control over that situation was to choose to terminate that pregnancy – one I had not consented to. I prayed for a way to see how I could love a child forced upon me, how to explain to that child what it had been created from and who its father was but there were no answers to those prayers. I prayed I could forgive, I prayed and prayed but I have never felt fear or loathing or desperation like it. Having a choice was my life line without a doubt, having a choice saved my life, having a choice bought my situation to the attention of those who could help me out of it. A woman’s body is hers alone to choose what to do with it, have sex, tattoo it, dress it, have a baby, not have a baby – for years I had that taken away from me, the choice of what to do with my body and someone else abused it. To suggest that someone/anyone should have say in what another woman would choose to do with her body disturbs me.

    And as for letting a man be a man…is it ok if that man in all his masculine glory, thinking he is the highest form of masculinity when he is guarding, protecting his family, thinks it is ok to beat the women in it, to abuse them, to rape them…is that ok? Is it ok to say that is in their nature? No, it is not.

    I am female. I am woman but I am no longer soft and delicate. A man changed that. I am strong, I have choices.

    When I march for women I don’t just look at the narrow view that I’m marching for the women I live and work besides, damn we are the lucky ones…. step outside your confines and see how women in other parts of the world live in abject poverty and with no rights, no education, married without choice, and try to fit your arguments to that. That is who we march for – ALL women.

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    1. Hi Reena, thank you so much for sharing your story. My heart just goes out to you. I am so sorry that you were put through that growing up. My heart breaks to think that the family member, who was supposed to love and protect you, would do harm to that little life they were entrusted with. that is not right. you did not deserve that. you deserved to be cherished. protected. honored. respected. and i just, am so saddened to hear that you went through that. That man was not strong or masculine, he was a coward. and the anthesis of a Godly man. and i am just so sorry that happened. Thank you for sharing your stance on these things. I sincerely appreciate learning from every single person. we all have different experiences and perspectives that we bring to the table, and it creates a beautiful and powerful dialogue. Though i have not been raped, i have been sexually assaulted. And that coupled with the anorexia in my past has contributed to the beliefs I hold on life and some other issues. Again, thank you for sharing your story. that took a lot of courage, and i just want to say that you are such a strong woman. and i admire your fortitude. hugs xox

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  32. Amen, thank you for this. Especially for articulating the pro-life position. Some might say I don’t have a right to weigh in, because I’m a man, but I will only say this: I have always endeavored to treat women with the utmost respect, principally because of how my Dad treated my Mom. He wasn’t perfect of course, but honored her.

    I have had friends justify their infidelity to their wife our girlfriend by saying things like “I’m only human, just a man, I have needs.” These are the lies of the enemy.

    We are commanded to love our wives as Christ loves the church. There is no higher standard. Men need to step up to their commitments to their families, leave a legscy for their sons and daughters.

    Continued prayers for you and your Mom.

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    1. Hello! thanks so much for this encouragement, and for your continued prayers for my mom. it really means a lot. I don’t think you’re “not allowed” to have an opinion because you’re a man! you are *definitely* allowed! as a society, we’re all in this together, and it’s going to take a dialogue and honest conversation from all people in order to heal from this stark divide right now that many women feel. We need more men like you! 🙂 That’s so great: respect is what it all comes down to. amen amen amen – Christ is that perfect example of self-giving love. loved reading your words. thanks for sharing! hugs xox

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  33. Great article and thank you for sharing your thoughs on what feminism is and is not. Yes, females need to be respected and given the same opertinities in life as men do. Yet, here is the key females and males are different, they are not the same. These differences are both biological and socially driven. It is not just that men need to respect women for who they are and for those differences and what they bring to the table; and most men do I think. I know that I myself as a male have great respect for the female half of the human race; but females (feminests) need to do the same as well for men. Men need to respect and acknowlege the “womanness” of females, and women need to respect and acknowlege the “maleness” of men. Read the two books by Louann Brisendine “The Female Brain” and “The Male Brain.” These books really claify just how different males and females are and yet through those differences just how close to each other each are. The two sexes are not the same, yet really do complament each other. We really can’t live with out the other, and yet sometimes it does seem we cannot live with eachother.😅

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    1. Thank you so much, Chase, for sharing this thoughtful response. there’s a lot of really great food for thought here. you’re right, we each were made uniquely male and uniquely female, and we are a complimentary pair — both physically and emotionally. The unique traits we bring to our various role specifically equip us to be the best we can be at them! thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

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  34. Another fearless well written post speaking the truth in love and concern. Admire you all we can do is use the opportunities we can to witness to what we know. Thanks for doing that. And besides, you write so well. Cannot wait to see what next you are lead to write. John

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    1. Thank you so much, John. That’s very kind of you to say. You’re right – we all bring different experiences and viewpoints to the table. and i love, in a dialogue, hearing all of them! that’s how we grow 🙂 big hugs xox

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  35. “Love the fact that we can all help each other out here by sharing, commenting, liking, and following. Keep…”

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    1. Yes! me too! i love the dialogue and I am humbled that people would take time out of their busy lives to share their thoughts and feelings. i am very grateful for that, as I sincerely appreciate hearing all sides and viewpoints! we all have a lot to learn from one another 🙂 big hugs xox

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  36. Yes, it’s about control and self-destruction in our country. But as some have commented there is a remnant saved by grace. Those like you who have true wisdom and a God given voice to proclaim that are doing very well. Very well indeed. Keep growing in strength as you move forward with shrewdness and cunning at times.
    Thank you.

    Liked by 1 person

  37. It seems that today’s society attempts to solve its problems by demonizing someone.This only diminishes common ground and takes away opportunities to build relationships. It is nice to see that someone like you is looking at what is wrong but including men in the solution instead of defining men as being the problem and looking for ways to reduce them to impotent relics of the past.

    Love your writing.

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    1. thanks Mike, for sharing this thoughtful response. i really appreciate the encouragement. yeah, i don’t think demonizing one whole *group* is going to do any good. it’s communication and working together that will make progress happen. thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

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  38. This topic isn’t a new one. Back in the ’70’s’ we visited it big time. Rights of women were shoved down our throats. Hundreds, thousands of years ago this was an issue. It wasn’t until I viewed my role as a women in the eyes of how I was created that I was freed from the bonds of world views. God has a plan for all women. Seeking what that is through the Bible (yes, the ‘B” word) is how we know who we really are. Not eyes on our society, nor our friends, but freedom in Christ.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing this powerful perspective. i am right there with you! God was definitely *not* anti-woman! He has a beautiful plan for all of us, and it will include our uniquely feminine gifts! that is something to celebrate 🙂 thanks for stopping by and sharing your heart 🙂 big hugs xox

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  41. Hey BBB! I’ve been off blog for a while but I am working on catching up with your writing. You know everyone’s view is different so everyone’s experience is different. As someone who has been guilty of reducing women to objects in my head and in relationships I know that women are marginalized by such objectification. As someone trying to broaden his scope on feminism and females in general I appreciate anything anyone can tell me about feminism. It’s not easy to admit that I was once (and still have impulses) toward reducing women to objects that can fill my needs (not just physical but also emotional needs) but I hope that in my humble and sorrowful admission the conversation can start. Women in the U.S. have it great compared to so many other countries, but that doesn’t mean the conversation stops. We are never done getting better as individuals or as a country. Thanks for posting and expect a flood of comments on your old stuff as I get caught up 🙂

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    1. thank you so much for sharing this. i think you’re right – continuing the conversation is important for healing and our growth as a society. and it’s so true – everyone is coming to the table with different experiences, beliefs and ideas — and that’s what makes the dialogue so fruitful! thanks for stopping by. big hugs xox

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  42. Feminism hasn’t always been perfect, but it has done a lot of good. Some of the earliest first-wave feminists were abolitionists who spoke against the moral evils of the institution of slavery back in their day. They challenged the idea that the feminine ideal was the Victorian standard of beauty. The prevailing school of thought in their time was the Cult of Domesticity / True Womanhood which held that a woman’s place was in her home. Back then, it wasn’t acceptable for women to work and they had to rely on the charity of their churches to support them. Next time you sing ‘Tis So Sweet to Trust In Jesus’; remember that the widow who wrote it had to raise her daughter on the charity of her church because it wasn’t acceptable for her to work; though to some degree poor women have always worked, they always had a lesser wage in those days. We had Feminists stand up against the evils of alcoholism and push for Prohibition; after it was repealed the won the vote for women. The second-wave feminists used the era of civil change in the 1960s to challenge the status quo; they abolished the need for women to have a man’s countersignature to take out a loan among other things. It’s the third-wave feminists who have fought for abortion as well as better paid maternal leave – something America comes in at last place; for some odd reason, men over the last century or so have missed that one and sometimes they need a little help in seeing other areas where their policies are short-sighted or unfair as they’re not women and don’t fully understand the need for such changes. What else could there be that needs attention if they’ve missed that? I think that there’s always room for improvement. Christianity leaves a lot to be desired; as the rules sometimes prohibit or limit women from becoming pastors or otherwise lets them become ‘directors’ but only of the womens’ and childrens’ ministries (so long as they aren’t actually given the title or pay of a pastor they can carry out basically the same responsibilities of one.) The idea that men and women have complimentary roles doesn’t help Christianity’s singles feel as if they belong without somebody to lead or somebody to follow. One woman told me about her search for a church where women were kept quiet so that she could be as biblical as possible while wearing her head covering in submission to her husband’s authority over her. I’m pretty sure that some denominations have never had a woman take up the highest seat of authority in their group; however high a woman can climb, there must always be a man whose role is to be in charge above and beyond her level. So feminists and Christians both are against the objectification of women; they are simply each going by a different definition of what they think objectification is. If our policies could ensure women could have children without it negatively impacting their career, they might feel a lot more comfortable about being both a mother and a worker; just as fathers do.

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    1. Hi Jamie, thank you so much for sharing this thoughtful response. there’s so much powerful information here. Early feminists have definitely brought about a lot of changes that I personally have benefitted from, for which i am grateful. it makes me sad that some religions put down women like that. because God was definitely *not* anti-woman. He made us to be uniquely feminine, with incredible traits that are uniquely feminine that we bring with us to every role we take on. and those special qualities make us awesome at those roles! men and women are a complementary – and equal – pair. and it all goes back to respect. for all people. thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

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  43. Let’s start with the definition of feminism:
    fem·i·nism
    ˈfeməˌnizəm/
    noun
    noun: feminism

    the advocacy of women’s rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes.
    synonyms: the women’s movement, the feminist movement, women’s liberation, female emancipation, women’s rights; informal women’s lib.

    I’m glad you do not experience any negative issues being a woman in this country. And some of your points are valid. BUT, I cannot believe you don’t understand what women are fighting for in this country. Equal pay, ending blatant sexism (just read/listen to our sexist President for examples), the treatment of women in the workforce and society in general as the “weaker sex” or “bitchy vs authoritative” and so on, reproductive rights (I understand you are pro-life but that’s your choice), healthcare provided without considering being a woman as a “pre-existing condition”, dismantling the rape culture, etc.

    You say a woman can wear whatever they want in one sentence, but in another you state that if a woman wears something provocative or sexy (“lingerie” style is what you mentioned), that is not okay as it could encourage the wrong type of behavior by a male. You have a number of contradictions in what you state and that is concerning.

    I do agree that dressing like a vagina is not a way to be taken seriously. I did not participate in the “Women’s Strike” as I felt that was ineffectual and honestly bratty. I also agree that women in the US have it better than a lot of places in the world. But as a feminist, I am not just fighting for things to improve here. I am fighting for women to be treated equally throughout the world. It’s small minded to think that women here only care about what’s happening in our country.

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    1. Thank you Aniela, for joining the dialogue and for sharing this response. You’re right, conditions for women in other countries around the world are not as they are here in the states, and that needs to change. i appreciate the passion with which you hold your beliefs. that is so awesome. thank you again for taking the time to read and respond. i sincerely appreciate hearing from all sides and having a dialogue. big hugs xox

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  44. Thank you for this post. Well thought out, well organized, well written. One of the best statements of practical and reasonable thinking regarding feminism I have read. Hat tip to you for this. Keep up the good work!

    One of the many great thoughts in your post: “Maybe if we call out men to be those types of upstanding men, and we their equal partners, complimenting each other’s traits, perhaps all the other things will work themselves out. Because a man called to true masculine greatness will respect a woman, her body, her mind, her talents, abilities, passions.”

    Thank you for this. Men need to stop being lazy and selfish regarding their own masculinity. Real men will “respect a woman, her body, her mind, her talents, abilities, passions.”

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    1. Thank you so much for this encouragement ! it really means a lot. i was incredibly nervous to publish this piece, so the affirming words are so very appreciated. so glad you stopped by and i’m glad you enjoyed the read! big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  45. Hey there! I hope you’ve been well! Always love your content–I’m trying to catch up on everyone’s stuff these days, honestly haha! Life, you know? 😛

    Although I am a male, I do support feminism–and not because I’m some “hipster, touchy-feely, so-and-so” type of guy. You know and I know, and I’m not afraid to own up to it, that I’m Christ first and world second. After I say that I usually tell Christians and non-Christians alike that Christ secured me and nothing changes that.

    As Merriam-Webster defines it, feminism is: “1: the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes”. What is, in my view, the biggest thing to take home is that it’s aiming for…where is my italics…*equality* of the sexes. I have feminist friends–heck my girlfriend is feminist (and Christ-centered)–and without a doubt they all understand that, like you alluded to, a *lot* of progress has been made for women! No one denies that. Talk to my mom, who is like, 63 years old, and she will straight up say, “Heck yes we’ve made a ton of progress, it used to be way more unfair–way worse.”

    But she would also say though that progress is still to be made, as with anything in life. We can’t deny that culturally (and remember, I’m a man speaking here), men still hold a powerful grip of the cultural narrative. Sure, we had a woman run for President–but you have to admit there was some strange cognitive dissonance going on in terms of how voters regarded words and actions of one candidate to another. Yes, it may be true that 57% of college students are female–that’s great. But the issue, generally speaking, is a statistic like this: in my state alone, as of 2015, the median annual earnings and earnings ratio for full-time, year round workers was
    $47,092 for a male to $35,753 to a female. That’s a staunch 76% gap, and when you consider the same measurement to the US average–$51,212 to $40,742, that’s an 80% gap–even worse (AAUW).

    I will say that there are some people who misconstrue feminism, or misuse the agenda to be crazy. I am not excusing those people at all–heck, we as Faith-First believers in Jesus Christ have our fair share as well. Feminism, however, is not meant to be “women are better than men” by any stretch. It’s just about a fair shake in the arena. If God blesses me with a daughter, I would want her to have an equal shot and doing some great things, just as I have.

    The good news is, with good people like you who are open to discourse and discussion, even if we disagree or don’t line up thought-wise, we can empathize with each other and be above hatred, slander and stooping to an otherwise hurtful and low standard! 🙂 That’s why I like reading what you write!

    Plus we can all agree God is #1. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi! thank you so much for this powerful perspective and thoughtful response. i appreciate you joining the dialogue with such an eloquent and insightful reflection. i sincerely enjoy the dialogue because i learn from every single person on here (which, i am so grateful for! 🙂 ) i’m so with you on there – there is definitely room for improvement. those statistics are disappointing that you shared. because you’re right, equality is important. God made us equals, with unique characteristics – both masculine and feminine – that we bring with us to whatever job or role we take on that make us awesome at that job. one is not better than the other. and i’m with you on that – women and men should have an equal shot 🙂 thanks again for sharing your thoughts. God is good!! 🙂 big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re so awesome! So glad we can read from each other on WordPress, seriously!! 🙂 Also I wanted to tell you, I swear I saw your face on a book haha!

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      1. Hey there Anthony!

        Yes! As per this Spring 2017 PDF done by the AAUW (http://www.aauw.org/aauw_check/pdf_download/show_pdf.php?file=The-Simple-Truth), the math checks out (I literally just did it with a calculator myself…you made me do math haha).

        For further reference, as stated in the document, the data collected of earnings (and used to calculate earnings ratio) is provided directly by the ACS, or American Community Survey. There’s also a lot of great material regarding pay gap broken down in the 36 pages–I would encourage you if you’re interested to read the whole thing!

        Thanks for being on the ball! 🙂

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      2. ALSO to clarify, in case anyone gets mixed up, the 76% and 80% are speaking to the earnings ratio! To clarify, the actual pay GAP nationally is 20% last measured. So, to explain simply, the US national earnings ratio between women and men is 80%–which means women were only being paid, statistically, just 80% of what men were paid. THAT’s the gap of 20%!

        So to further the example, my state has a EARNINGS RATIO of 76%, which means women are only getting paid 76% of what men are being paid, which is worse than the national average.

        Just wanted to clarify in fairness!

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  46. I think what has been driving events like the Women’s March is fear – fear that the political and social gains the women have achieved might be partially undone. Fear that because we now have a President who unabashedly demeans women, misogynists might feel justified in their mistreatment of women.

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      1. One of my sister’s was considering participating in the Day Without a Woman, but she decided not to because she didn’t know what the goal was. She felt that making a statement like that should also have a specific goal in mind.

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      2. I think your sister was right – I can understand trying to make a statement, but it just fell a little flat to me. But i respect that those women who participated felt really passionate about it and I would love to hear why specifically they chose to take part.Anywho, loving the dialogue!! xox 🙂

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  47. This is such a good article to read – I’ve never “picked a side” as it were when it comes to feminism, and instead just appreciated all views on it and gone from there! But I found this to be so genuine and considerate of all points, and I also found it particularly refreshing seeing how kind and open you were to every single comment you received on this post.

    There needs to be more human beings like you in the world!

    xx

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    1. Oh my gosh, Abby, you are so kind to say that! thank you so much! Yeah, i totally feel you on that – I feel like society kind of dictates that we need to be cut and dry on where we stand on certain things, like feminism, and the fact is, it is a very complex issue, and there is definitely more than one way to approach it or go about it. and i’m with you, i sincerely appreciate hearing all the different viewpoints and learning from everyone. because each person brings a new perspective and experience with them to the table. any who , this is getting long now. just wanted to say how much I appreciate your encouraging words. it really means a lot 🙂 big hugs xo

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  48. Thank you for saying it so eloquently. I have a wonderful wife, almost of 18 years, and she is a very STRONG WOMAN. She is part of the 57% going to college, has a full time career and does a wonderful job as a mother and wife. However, she longs for me to lead her, encourage her. And although I haven’t been great at it all the time, we are working through it.

    So here is where Feminism got it start, Gen 3:16 at the curse of man and woman. God said to the woman He said, “I will greatly multiply Your pain in childbirth, In pain you will give birth to children;…..” I have seen it four times in my life and yes, women have the blessing to give miraculous life, but it is hard. However, I have yet to meet a mother, who after giving birth, will not look at that child and fell overwhelming love.

    The second half of the verse is where many strong women hate it, “Yet your desire and longing will be for your husband, And he will rule [with authority] over you and be responsible for you.””

    Here is the twofold curse, women will long for men to to lead them. But with all sin, it gets perverted on both side. Women will want to rule over men and men will take the dominating posture toward women. BOTH are wrong.

    Women, be strong! Men lead with grace and mercy!

    Liked by 2 people

    2. Thank you so much, Coleman, for this thoughtful refection. it sounds like you and your wife have a beautiful marriage. That is so awesome. You’re right, we are products of a fallen Adam and Eve, and with it comes that unquenchable thirst for power or dominance on all sides. the fall created an imbalance and a restlessness in our hearts that was not meant to be there. and therein lies the trouble. thanks for stopping by and congrats on 18 beautiful years of marriage! that gives me hope 🙂 haha hugs xo

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  49. Love your topics! It’s so true: we women in the western world have it wonderful! I’ve traveled and seen it myself. But I’ve been thinking…What would the world look like if women took over in the political scene? If women ran the key government positions? If women ruled the powerful nations in the world? That is worth thinking about.

    Because I don’t believe most women as leaders, would go to war over oil, or religion, or controlling more territory. Mothers would not condone the killing of the sons of other mothers. Women would not spend money on weaponry over food supplies for starving children. We recognize that values, giving to and loving others, are a much higher priority than men’s pride and dominance. Women know other ways to achieve the outcomes they want. Now, that kind of influence is something to work for. That is our divine purpose for seeking empowerment for the feminine gender!

    Because if women ruled the world, can you imagine what it actually might look like? Hugs to all my sisters out there!

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    1. Thanks so much for this thoughtful reflection, Jane. That is definitely an interesting thought. And gosh, how eloquently you put that. you’re right- those uniquely feminine traits would do wonders if put to use leading a country. that was really powerful to imagine, thank you for inviting me to do so! 🙂 glad you stopped by! hugs xo

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