Challenging Feminism

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Lately, it’s been really weird to be a woman.

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Not because of any fashion or makeup trends…although, I will say…I don’t quite understand the reemergence of the shoulder pad.

But because of all the recent hyper focus on…feminism.

The Women’s March, International Women’s Day, protests, walk outs, I mean, we get it already…

But to be honest, I am confused by the whole matter.

Women are not marginalized in the United States of America. 

What are they fighting for? Why all the anger?

Now listen, I know that this post is probably going to garner a lot of backlash, but you know what, that’s okay. I would love to hear thoughts on all sides of this issue. Truly. Every person is entitled to their own viewpoints, and I respect those feelings, even if they differ from mine. And of course, there is always room for improvement in removing some lingering issues, (representation in senior management, ensuring equal wages), but there is no attack on women.

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But again, I don’t know what women are fighting for.

Is it because we have access to health care?

Is it because 57% of enrolled college students are female?

I’ll repeat that….57% of college students are female.

Is it because women can hold any job they desire, up to and including the President of the United States?

Is it because women can wear anything, say anything, go out in public, drive a car, vote, go to school, worship freely, and have/adopt children here without the say or approval of a man?

I just don’t get it.

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Perhaps they’re marching for the end to rape. Okay. That’s truly a phenomenal cause, and I salute that.

But I honestly don’t think a march is going to change that. You know what might? A change in our culture. Maybe we need to reconsider the messages that we’re sending to young boys and men in society about how to treat a woman. Perhaps we shouldn’t be referring to women as “bitches and hoes” in our music and television. Perhaps we shouldn’t be objectifying or infantilizing grown women in our advertising. When we reduce a person to mere body parts or tools for pleasure, it’s no wonder that men feel they have the ability to take advantage. Perhaps we should challenge the multi-billion dollar porn industry. Perhaps we should be changing the narrative on that, and reclaim our dignity as women and prize our sexuality and virginity for what it is.

And women, we’re not off the hook either. Listen, I love a little black dress more than anything. Especially if it’s backless. But if we’re going to walk out of the house in lingerie-equivalent club wear, it’s asking for trouble. Of course men should be able to control themselves. “Asking for it” is never, ever, ever an excuse. But if we’re not respecting our own bodies, how can we expect anyone else to?

The biggest thing I have a problem with, is women who are marching for abortion rights.

It’s no secret, I am staunchly pro-life.

But here’s where the feminism argument just doesn’t hold up.

So much of feminism is tied up in the sexual revolution and the emergence of The Pill. The cry of feminism for women to have the sexual freedom that men “have” is the exact antithesis of what true feminism really is!

The very essence of being female is the ability to bear children. Bring life into the world. That is the one and only thing that is uniquely female. That is the aspect of being a woman that is what should be celebrated and cherished and protected. And, in the name of feminism, we’re fighting to squelch that? Fighting to suppress that exclusively female gift? That, in my opinion, is the exact opposite of feminism.

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“But we’re fighting for a woman’s right to control her own body.”

Okay, terrific. That’s important.

But here’s the thing. Abortion is different because it involves two bodies: the mother’s and the baby’s. Her decision is not just hers, but her child’s. How is ending another human life controlling her own body? That sounds to me like controlling someone else’s body.

You want to fight for the marginalized? How about you start with the smallest and most vulnerable of them all? – The child in the womb.

Frankly, I have been so disappointed to be a woman here recently. All the photos of women wearing red, and proclaiming that they’re boycotting work to show what it would be like to have a world without women.

Please. Give me a break. You have a job. A paycheck. A degree. Benefits. Clean drinking water. Health care. Equal opportunities.

This whole feminist movement thing, it just smells of domineering, desperate estrogen, if I’m being really honest.

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I am uniquely female. God made women as the crown of creation. We bring life into the world. We are relational. We are receptive. Feelers. Communicators. Soft. Delicate. Those things are who we are by nature.

Frankly, it is unnatural to try and dominate a man and emasculate him.

I think one of the most beautiful things we can do as women is to let a man be a man, and challenge him to rise to his highest form of masculinity: providing for his family, protecting, guarding, leading. That is what a man’s heart longs for: adventure. Rescuing. Providing.

Their inherent natures and our inherent natures are a complimentary pair. Perfectly in harmony.

Maybe if we call out men to be those types of upstanding men, and we their equal partners, complimenting each other’s traits, perhaps all the other things will work themselves out. Because a man called to true masculine greatness will respect a woman, her body, her mind, her talents, abilities, passions.

Because at the end of the day, feminism is not a bad thing. But its definition has been bastardized in recent times. Feminism is the revolution of femininity – in all its forms.

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We, as women, bring with us, our uniquely feminine traits – our feminine genius – into each and every role we take on, whether that be a teacher, a business exec, a mother, a nurse, the President, a professional athlete. Those uniquely feminine traits make us exceptional at those things, and should be celebrated.

A woman is a unique being: capable of all that a man can do, and more. We are the bearers of life. Why are we fighting that which makes us most powerful?

That’s feminism. That’s where we need to begin.

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701 thoughts on “Challenging Feminism”

  1. I am beyond thrilled to read any of your work, but this post in particular resonates with me! I have felt so alone as a woman in this super strange time where it feels like being a woman isn’t enough anymore and I am extremely pleased to see it’s not just me that’s embarrassed by all of the happenings lately. There are so many other things to march and fight for, besides the things we as women in the United States already have. I am also pro-life and I have never understood the abortion arguments stating it’s strictly the mother’s body at stake. Thank you for putting everything I have been feeling into such beautifully written words.

    Liked by 6 people

      1. Ditto! Well, I’m all the way over the other side of the earth but I’ve been scratching my head too. It seems really odd. Really, really odd.
        And totally get you about the CULTURE being the fix. Not a march. I’m trying to raise 3 boys to respect all they come across in life & most of that is about taking into account the other person’s views & needs.
        What I’m not hearing enough tho is that it is also the father’s rights (& in a lot of ways, body & mind) that is also at stake when abortion is considered. I’m firmly pro-life & completely behind what you said above.

        Like

      2. I agree, it all comes down to changing the culture and the narrative we are spewing on TV, in advertisements, and in the home. Thanks for sharing these thoughts. and you’re right, abortion does effect the father too. it is a loss of life, and that has an impact on all parties involved. it’s just not something that people are sympathetic to in the popular pro-choice narrative. but loss is loss, no matter what way you slice it. hugs from the usa 🙂 xox

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Girllllll you went off but in a very good way!!! I love it !! I think women now a days just want to do whatever they want because they can. It’s sad really because that life does not bring you any peace what so ever. But all of this stems from sin and the corruption in this world. Women need to realize that being a woman is beautiful. If you weren’t sleeping with people that you shouldn’t be sleeping with then you wouldn’t even think about an abortion. Hence why waiting until marriage works best. Nothing is wrong with dressing modestly . It makes a woman look even more beautiful . This world is lost and I don’t even speak about this to other women because if they aren’t women of God their views are totally different than mine and they just don’t get it .

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Oh Cristal, I am giving you a standing ovation on this response!! thank you so much for this beautiful reflection. Everything you said, I was nodding along with in agreement. Thank you for your kind words of support and encouragement. I was really nervous about publishing this one, so your affirmation really is appreciated. And i think you’re right – there is so much beauty to be found in womanhood, and all it entails and in whatever role it entails. reading this was one of the highlights of my day! hugs to you xox

      Liked by 2 people

    2. Between you and Ms. Caralyn, I think this topic has been beautifully covered! May I just add one thing?

      The last bit – not speaking about this with other women – I would encourage you to reconsider your stance on that. As girls (I dunno, maybe guys do this too), talking to each other is often our best way to encourage one another. When you openly stand for your views, you are encouraging other women to do the same. Also, not all believers know where to stand on this matter. It is my belief that your “neighbor” in Jesus’s command to love your neighbor, is every living person you come into contact with. Including the unborn ones. Thus, you should treat them as you would yourself. However there are girls that are raised in pro-abortion homes but they want to honor God. How can we help them face that divide if we do not speak to them? Or what about the girls who already had an abortion? I know many who regret that decision and have a lifetime of hurt to overcome…..it’s good to talk to these women.

      Even the women who blatantly disagree with your views and your obedience to God are important enough to hear the truth. It’s useless to argue with them. What we can do is give them an opportunity to think about what we believe, and what they themselves believe.

      Shalom!

      Yael Eliyahu

      Liked by 2 people

      1. Thank you so much for your words! I never looked at it like that , you made very valid points , it’s easier for me to talk about Jesus and loving one another and spreading the gospel then it is to talk about abortion , only because I’m not sure if I’m able to have kids myself so I get scared that one day someone may throw that in my face when we are discussing abortion and why I’m against it .

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Okay….so I have two sons I want to introduce you to, as I’m pretty sure you’re meant for one of them. (Just sayin’.) And on a personal note: while reading your article I could hear 🦁 lions roaring in the background! Not aggressively but confidently. And I stand behind you because “I too am Woman…hear me RoaRrrrrrrrrrrrr.”

    Liked by 3 people

    1. hahaha oh Dawn, I am not even joking when I say give him my number!! hahahah 😉 But seriously, thank you for the encouragement. i was super nervous to push the publish button, so i can’t begin to express how much i appreciate your kind words. 🙂 Hope you have a great afternoon! hugs xo

      Liked by 1 person

  6. You are so brilliant. You, once again, hit the nail on the head. I don’t understand the need for women to make men look like feeble-minded, overgrown children. It’s everywhere, including our TV shows. And the idea of fighting to destroy the ONE THING that makes women unique, special, and “greater”- the ability to give birth – just blows my mind. Perhaps that’s what “feminists” want – to be so equal to a man that they no longer give birth. I’m so glad you wrote this piece. You are truly a lily among the thorns. God bless.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Julee, thank you so much for this encouragement. I think you’re right — i’ve found a trend in commercials recently about the “stupid male” or the “dumb dad” trope. it just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Building oneself up does not have to involve tearing someone down. Very interesting thoughts! — thanks again for sharing! hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I think you may have missed the point here. There are very significant issues regarding inequality that do not involve belittling men or wearing vagina hats. The fact that there is not equality in pay, 1 in 4 women are sexually assaulted and the long history this country has in treating women as less than, makes this very much a civil rights issue. It is beyond theological or philosophical ideas when we discuss other people’s rights and freedom. It sounds like your major disagreement is the method but that isn’t the same as discrediting feminism itself. With regard to anger, I’m not a huge proponent, but I’m also hesitant to criticize the anger of those who have been injured or victimized.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thanks Clifford, for joining the dialogue and for offering this thoughtful response. it’s in coming together and listening and sharing our individual viewpoints and thoughts and ideas with respect and understanding that true change and healing can come about, and I really appreciate you doing just that. Yeah, as a victim of sexual assault myself, I definitely have seen first hand that ugly side of men who think they’re dominators. That is a change in our culture that needs to happen, pronto. Very eloquent thoughts, thanks again for sharing. hugs ox

      Liked by 1 person

    2. This is a valid point when the person’s anger is contained into their own life and surroundings; but I’d say when their anger is infecting a lot of young girls who haven’t been given a reason to be angry, then it is going too far and they should not get away with it. I heard feministic messages when I was a little kid and not old enough to know if they were true or not, so I speak from personal concern.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks for the response. I don’t want to hijack this forum with too much back and forth so I’ll limit my response. We are all subjected to messages from parents and others long before we have the executive functioning to discern. Alternative views and passions are unavoidable. And I will reiterate, I think we have to be cautious about judging other people’s anger without knowing their story- but for the grace of God err go I. We may be splitting hairs at this point and arguing over the extreme ends of things though, my comment was directed toward feminism in general. I appreciate your concerns and your civil retort.

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  9. Loved this post 👍. Although I’m still so young, I’m not an ignorant individual but this really showed me how much more I still need to learn about society, feminism and the social issues around us. What a thought provoking post, great job 😊.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you so much 🙂 i’m glad this struck a chord with you! oh yes, i still have a lot i need to learn too, and i am so grateful for all the different perspectives and insights people are sharing here! 🙂 thanks for stopping by and joining the convo! hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  11. I love your argument here. I also feel that society would not comprehend it … And, I have to say, abortion/pro life is not an easy question. It is in essence not all about those women who wish to use termination as a contraceptive because they’ve slept with someone and got pregnant while using sex as a recreational activity. Having legal, clinical, means to end pregnancies is a sad but necessary thing, because, in this world, there will otherwise be illegal,dangerous, terminations which will kill both the woman and her baby. There are also places where there is still teenage marriage (very young teens, say 12, 13, 14) and they could die having a baby. There is rape of many kinds including marital rape. These are hard questions, but legal termination was not, basically, brought in so that people could just get rid of a baby because it;s inconvenient. People working in the area knew what was happening, they also possibly knew or possibly didn’t realise, the full extent of how legalisation could/would be exploited. The same is true of the contraceptive pill. It is so fraught with complications that being totally, utterly, pro-life is something I personally gave up, along with volunteering with a pro-life organisation doing pregnancy counselling. After much thought & prayer. It’s a secular world, one which doesn’t put God first, and somehow we have to live in it and with its limitations. That’s how I see it (personally). But idealists are also necessary to balance out the arguments for ‘anything goes’ I so agree. Love your passion on the blog, for what you believe! Hope you read this, Carolyn!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you so much MariHoward 🙂 you’re right, it is an incredibly difficult issue, and one that is very emotionally charged, for many of the reasons you listed. I respect everyone’s views and beliefs about it, and i sincerely appreciate hearing them, so thank you for sharing!! the world is definitely not idealistic, and there is a lot of “gray area” in terms of pregnancy and life and situations. In the mean time, we can use pray and ask God to show us the way 🙂 big hugs to you xo

      Like

  12. Sending us all Light and blessings. Funny, I’m looking at attending a women’s day on leadership — what is true leadership for me in my own integrity? ❤ There's a blessing in connecting to our own wisdom regarding what qualities and expressions line up for us. Thanks for bringing it forward, and so many blessings to you.

    Also, can you send blessings? I'm starting a "Making Peace with Yourself" program (online) for women to apply forgiveness to an area of their lives. Thank you so much. Love and blessings, xo Debbie

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Debbie. Oh wow, that sounds like a pretty awesome seminar you’re attending. And yes! i think you can definitely send blessings 🙂 and I love that online program you’re starting. i think making peace with yourself is incredibly important! good luck with it!! big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  13. It’s difficult as a man to speak about feminism. You sum it up here perfectly. If I get in any sort of discussion about this topic, I may just simply point the other person to your post.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for sharing this. yeah, it’s silly that men “aren’t allowed” to have a voice on the issue. Because, in my opinion, we’re all just journeying through life together, and it all comes down to respect. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and for joining the dialogue! big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I agree about men not being allowed to have a voice. It’s especially frustrating because, though I don’t agree with every aspect of feminism, I still respect and support women. And yet, because I can’t refer to myself as a feminist per se, that support isn’t enough for many people.

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      2. Yeah, it’s sadly a no win situation 😦 But you’re winning in my book 🙂 That respect and support goes a long way, and it is evident in how you interact and speak! so keep on being awesome. it goes a long way 🙂 hugs xo

        Liked by 1 person

  14. Preach!! Ive had a similar convo with my friend on the ques of “What are women fighting for right now? The actual message really is lost for me.
    I believe women should be empowered to go places n do things they would hve felt inferior to do in the past, but i dont get the Feminist fight.. we shld all be ‘FAIRminists! 😊

    Like

  15. You just summed up all of my thoughts into 1 blog post. Thank you so much for posting about topics like this! As a young girl in today’s society, it often seems like there is no one else in the world who understands this point of view, or that it’s somehow “wrong.” I love how open you are about such a crucial and prevalent area of life. Sending love your way!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! I’m glad this hit home with you. You’re right, i often feel I’m the only one who feels this way, so i appreciate the encouragement! Aw, sending lot of love right back atcha! hugs xo

      Like

  16. You are so brave to talk about this. I am pro-life too and one of the things I struggle with women’s rights being synonymous with abortion rights. People preach that they are for female but not that of an unborn female. I truly don’t understand the disconnect.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Kerry. I’m right there with ya, it seems to be a huge disconnect. The baby girl in the womb is a woman too…??? Anywho, thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts. i really appreciate the encouragement. big hugs xox

      Like

  17. I do not know if your thesis is meant to be provocative, but Women are the marginalized gender in American society. Empathy is the ability to understand and share the person’s feelings. We may both stand at an intersection, witness a 2-car crash, but our different vantage points may cause us to focus on dissimilar details and arrive at opposing conclusions as to who is at fault. Likewise, our different experiences may also reveal latent prejudices that color our perspectives.

    I do not know what it is like to be a European American Christian Woman from the Midwest, but I can tell you as your African American Muslim (former Christian) Sister raised in New York City, and I do not expect you to understand some of my struggles, but what I do expect from you is to respect me when I say, “I’m in pain. The struggle is hard. The system favors some more than others.” Because it does. Anything less than that empathy trivializes YOUR humanity. I am not delusional. Pain is pain and it is real.

    My African ancestors did not deserve to be dragged to these shores, exploited in every way a human being can be, pay every levied tax, and all the while have their humanity systematically and LEGALLY denied. Was it hard for our predecessors? Yes. Is it still hard for some of their descendants? Yes. Is the system fair? No, it is not. Take it from you Black American Sister, we (Women) are marginalized.

    Liked by 7 people

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story. It hurts my heart to hear that you feel marginalized, and to that, i say, *i hear you.* Because you’re right, we do all come from different backgrounds and have different experiences and perspectives that influence our beliefs and positions. I do not have the same ones as you. And so I can listen and learn. For me, having been sexually assaulted, coupled with the anorexia in my past has shaped what i believe. My hope in writing this was to create a dialogue where we all can voice our opinions so that we can learn and listen so that we can understand and respect one another. thank you again for sharing this. i really appreciate it. big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Sis, You’re welcome. But understand, I do not feel marginalized on the contrary. Society attempts to marginalize us and with some, they are successful and with others the fail miserably.

        Whatever challenges you have faced or are facing, understand God’s got you. He won’t let you fall. Sometimes we crash but He won’t put you into something that you can’t get out of and God Willing, you’ll be a better person because of the experience. The thing you have to realize is the pain and struggles are a normal part of life and are your badges of honor.

        You are a Warrior Queen and no one can wear battle scars like you. Take the world by horns and knock that toro bull down and then…Keep it moving. 🙂

        Liked by 3 people

  18. THIS! Spot on… And I used to be very much feminist until I realized how counterproductive it really is. Men and women are equal but NOT the same. I don’t want to give up who I am to be ‘equal ‘ to a man.

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  20. One of the things that I think we don’t do so well as a society is truly listening to others with differing opinions and experiences. As I read the responses to your post and your responses, it does sound like you are truly listening. So with that reading, and hope, I will add this thought to the discussion.

    I am not sure what theory you subscribe to in terms of the etiology of anorexia. Certainly the research agrees about the prevalence of control needs in its development. I cannot help but see it, however, as a visual of internalized sexism. What do we do to ourselves when we starve ourselves but destroy the visual reminders of our womanhood? Our breasts shrivel, our periods stop… we lose curves and look gaunt- anything but nurturing and mothering. Certainly there are other ways we could exert control if that were the only dynamic powering the self-destruction. The form of anorexia- a very dominantly woman’s experience – seems to me to be a living metaphor of how we have internalized the indoctrination that we are inferior.

    Certainly as women we all have differing experiences- based on race, class, geography, and family experience, among many other factors. One of the my deepest sorrows is the failure of women to support each other across those lines. One of my hopes is that we will learn to do so.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Aurora, thank you so much for this thoughtful response and for asking this delicate question. i’m going to be honest, i’ve never thought about that link before, and it is quite interesting to consider. For my personal situation, it was a symptom of not believing i was worth being loved. i felt i was a burden. Not enough. Being female didn’t enter the equation for me personally. but i do think that that could hold true for a lot of other women. because you’re right, it is a predominantly women’s disease, and the pressures placed by upon women to achieve an unattainable standard of perfection, dictated by society, definitely plays into it. so i think that definitely could ring true. thanks so much for stopping by and for starting this dialogue. big hugs xox

      Liked by 2 people

  23. You are a person of great insight and gifted with the ability to articulate them in very readable and empathetic prose. Thank you and I’m grateful to God that almost 24,000 people are getting this message with more to follow as you get re-posted. God bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Women and men complete each other in the symmetry of humanity…and marriage. Neither one is complete without the other. Neither can stand alone without the other. And today’s fight of feminism, abortion, et al, is not really a fight for equality or for moral virtue…but a cry for legitimacy, validity, and of a subtle defiance masked as legality. Well said, Caralyn. Well said.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Amen, sister! Exactly what I’ve been thinking lately! I have always considered myself a feminist – which makes the modern “feminist” movement very confusing. There is so much to celebrate about women and being a woman; so why are we fighting to be more like men?

    Liked by 1 person

  26. As always your honesty is refreshing.

    I’ve asked myself and others the same question – why the anger? What are they angry about? Who are they angry at?

    And to be so open and honest about pro-life, abortion, and the rights of women, unborn children, etc is brave. You opened yourself up to trolls and anger, yet you calmly and bravely post your thoughts. But, you also spoke/wrote what so many are thinking/feeling but haven’t spoken.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thank you so much. I can’t begin to express how much i appreciate the encouragement. yeah, i was definitely nervous to push the publish button, but i wanted to offer an alternative viewpoint and narrative than the one that is being pushed by the mainstream media, and hopefully start a dialogue. So i really am very grateful for the affirming and kind words. Thanks for taking the time out of your day to read and respond! big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Hey! I understand the general thrust of your argument, and I applaud you for discussing such an interesting topic.

    I think there are a number of conceptual errors contained within this article. I will detail just a few of them. First, this piece critiques “feminism” but it never attempts to define what feminism actually is. It is important to remember that feminism is not a monolith. There have been at least THREE waves of feminism; and there are several different schools of thought within the so-called feminist camp. There is intersectional feminism; radical feminism; socialist feminism; ecological feminism; post-structural feminism, etc. Which strain of feminism, and which particular feminists are you critiquing here? Unless you highlight the specific strain of feminism and specific feminists – the entire argument is a straw-man. The essay is guilty of shadow-boxing – responding to a caricature of feminism as opposed to its reality.

    Second, you argue that “women are not oppressed in the United States of America”. This is demonstrably false. At certain moments throughout this essay, the points you make betray your own argument. You pointed out that there is still wage inequality. Right. But this is the point you are missing: wage inequality IS an attack on women. Wage inequality IS oppression of women. Latinas are paid 54 cents for every dollar a white man earns. Black women earn 64 cents for every dollar a white man earns. Women of color are more likely to be impoverished. Earning less money means women of color are less able to feed, clothe, and shelter their families. This is an attack on women – and in particular, women of color. Native Americans are the most likely to be impoverished; and Native American women have rates of rape 4x the national average. So when you make the argument that “women are not oppressed” or “under attack”, your position departs from a baseline of whiteness and the privileges therein. I encourage you to read some of the articles I have written and posted under the “Sexism” tab on my blog.

    Third, you take a strong position against protesting in this article. This argument only makes sense if we completely ignore history and how we got the rights we currently have. 150 years ago, workers had no rights at all. People were trapped in factories all day, working 16+ hours, for dirt wages. Children could be put to work in these dangerous conditions. How did workers gain occupational rights such as an 8-hour work day, health benefits, pension, and a minimum wage?? They protested. Workers went on strike, unionized, and caused hell to gain the rights we have. If it were not for the labor unions, we would still be working long days in hazardous conditions for almost no money. Every single right we hold near and dear came as the result of a social movement. If the suffragettes – the first wave feminists – did not PROTEST, you, as a woman, would not have gotten the 19th Amendment which gave you the right to vote. If second wave feminists did not PROTEST throughout the 20th century, you, as a woman, would still be banished from work – and would be confined to the household as an object for a man. Without the protests during the Vietnam Era, men could still be drafted against their will into war, etc. I repeat: every single right you have came as the direct result of other people protesting. It is easy to condemn protesters as “rioting” and having no concrete agenda because a lot of the heavy lifting has already been done for you. Our ancestors protested for us to make the world a better place … and we owe it to our unborn children to protest for them to make the world a better place in turn. When we condemn protesters, we are essentially saying: “there is no need to fight” – which, if one is a rich white man (or internalizes these values) makes a lot of sense. But most of the world needs to FIGHT, especially women. I urge you to keep that in mind.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Hi Daryl, thank you so much for sharing this thoughtful response. the passion you have for this topic is evident in your words, and i really appreciate you sharing you insight. and so i want to say, i hear you. Thank you for offering this perspective to the dialogue. i am sincerely grateful for the conversation this has spurred. because you’re right, we’re all on different journeys, and are bringing different experiences and perspectives to the table. and i believe we all have a lot to learn from each other, and so thank you for sharing this. i think the conversation can lead to greater respect and understanding. thanks again, and i hope you have a great day. and i will definitely check out the articles you mentioned 🙂 hugs xox

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  29. I’ve been skimming the comments so I apologize in advance if this has already been said.
    The more I think about it, the more I am troubled by the statements like: American woman have it better than most so what are you complaining about?
    So many issues with that… my first thought is that reminds of the house slave praising the amenities of the master’s house.
    But I would say BECAUSE of American positioning and propaganda (We’re number 1!) it’s even worse, on a huge scale, that women are treated as they are. It’s even worse that there’s huge inequality in a place that proclaims all men are created equal.
    It’s even worse that white women are treated better than women of colour.
    It’s even worse that 1/3 women experience sexual assault AND even worse that white upper class perpetrators of that violence often don’t face justice for their actions and can even get elected to high government office.
    It’s even worse that police often don’t give as much attention to crime against women.
    The black women I know face racism on a daily basis while most of the women I know have been sexually abused at one point in their life. Here in Canada, we have what’s called the Highway of Tears. It’s a stretch of highway where dozens upon dozens of women, mostly native, have gone missing and their disappearances were largely ignored by police.
    To me these issues, which I believe feminism speaks to, are more important than women’s “femininity.”

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  30. This is a breathtaking post..
    A balanced diet well served…
    I really admire you.. Your ability to speak the truth irrespective of its unpopularity is beautiful..
    Caralyn!! Thank you for this post and for defining what true feminism is all about…
    You are amazing…

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  31. Thank you for your post! I’m not in the US, and I can honestly say I’m clueless to the big buzz around “women’s freedom”. I’m Sudanese, living in Sudan, and I also happen to be an engineer. I’m not aware of any women in my circles who are being oppressed – unless it is their choice to be so. We get to enjoy all faces of life as men, so I’m really confused by all the buzz. Thank you for putting this in words!

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    1. Thanks so much, Azza, for sharing this interesting insight! I’m so glad to hear that! i think you’re right, it’s hard to get an accurate depiction of what is going on around the world, so i really appreciate you sharing what life is like for you in Sudan! Sending big hugs from across the pond 🙂 xoxo

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  32. I JUST LOVE EACH AND EVERY PART OF YOUR ARTICLE. great insights . i must say too much of everything is harmful, i was talking to a friend the other day and we both consider ourselves as Feminist but i was shocked when i asked her to explain to me what she meant by a sentence she had said. you are so brave and earned a lifetime reader

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    1. Thank you so much! i’m so glad this hit home with you and you could relate. i really appreciate your encouraging words! i was super nervous to publish, so it really means a lot. big hugs to you xox

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  36. Excellent post! Food for thought, you either dress like a Ford/Chevrolet that advertises everywhere, or you dress like a Ferrari that you never see an advertisement for.

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  38. I admire your blog, even though I think you know by now (since I think you read mine) that we do have some opposing political views. I participated in the Chicago Women’s March, which I wrote about, which I found empowering. Some of the others I have found confusing, without clear messages. My fight for feminism has far, far less to do with the sexual revolution than it does with opportunities for growth for women. I absolutely agree with your thoughts on how women are portrayed in the media; let’s have more positive role models, esp for our kids. That being said, research has continually shown that women ARE marginalized in this country–in the workplace we are still paid only 75% of men, we are very under represented on company boards, and we are only 27% of people who work in the lucrative STEM world where innovative products are being developed daily. And those influential tech products are used and seen by BOTH sexes on a regular base–let’s influence their creation! I know that not all women choose to work, but for those who do–or must to support their families–their income and these things impact them daily. I always appreciate your thoughts and opinions.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much Cindy. I definitely respect where you’re coming from and I appreciate you sharing this perspective. I agree that we need more role models – for both women and men. Fostering and growing a culture of respect and understand is so important going forward. And i think healthy, positive dialogues are great catalysts for just that. And so i think you for sharing your insight. Your passion shines through your words, and that is really admirable 🙂 So glad you stopped by! big hugs xox

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      1. I don’t think a woman will ever understand a man’s world, nor the man the woman’s world. This post tries to combine both men and woman into one topic, even stating both that “woman is the crowing creation,” and that “a woman can do all that a man can do, and more.” I find both of these false. There’s really no reason to discuss. I know your debate you will not carry out in comments section, but in some future post, perhaps even berating me. So I forbear, respectfully. I have faithfully studied your habits of write/response and find them not at all parallel to each other. To think I will get a valid response in comments section on your blog, for expressing my views here, is absolutely and completely erroneous. I will write my own thoughts on my blog as I know you also do. Thanks for the invite, though. I forbear. Besides, you can do all that a man can do, and even more, according to you. I challenge you to that affirmation. Be all that I am–and more. I dare you.

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  40. The whole right-to-life thing just floors me. I can understand academically wanting every child who is conceived to be loved and wanted but that is an impossible dream. So then insisting on continuing with a physical process that could potentially result in two (if not more) blighted lives… just seems insane. Women have always had abortions and always will. The way to reduce the amount of abortion is make it safe and available. I just can’t understand how any person could not see this as the human option. As in, best for everyone. If you’re religious, you must believe the soul goes on to a better place or is reborn. If you’re not religious, then why do you think you have a say over someone else’s body

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    1. I don’t think anyone is saying no abortion ever. I think there are times when the mother’s life is in jeopardy that a tough decision needs to be made. But when people are lax in their sexual lives and that results in an unwanted pregnancy, and so they choose to terminate that life so they don’t have to deal with the consequences of their actions…that’s when it becomes too much.

      Liked by 2 people

      1. I don’t know how or who would make a moral judgement call like that though. I mean, everyone does foolish things, that’s a huuuge price to pay for possibly one moment of carelessness. And then it obviously is going to impact the woman who is pregnant far more than the man. I was trying to think of a reasonable, non-gendered metaphor and I guess I’d say maybe like a tattoo – you might hate someone’s choice to get or not get one, hate what they’ve chosen and feel like they’ll regret it but do you honestly have the right to make that call for them? (Not a perfect metaphor obv).

        Liked by 1 person

      2. One moment of foolishness or one mistake doesn’t mean that you can simply change your mind though. What if someone had unprotected sex and contracted an incurable STD/STI? There’s no walking away from that consequence, and a baby should be no different. When you choose to have unprotected sex, you are taking the risk that you are going to alter your life in unforeseeable ways. If you, as a male or female, don’t feel you are ready for a child, then you need to take precautions to avoid a pregnancy in the first place.

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      3. But a tattoo isn’t a living being. A tattoo only affects your body, no one else’s. Whenever we do anything that affects someone else, there’s usually some kind of consequence, good or bad. When we do something against ourselves, it’s just us (for the most part) we have to worry about. If I have too much to drink one night, I’m the one with the hangover, not my neighbor. But if I have too much to drink and then I drive while drunk, and end up taking someone’s life in the process, now it’s not just me affected anymore. Likewise, an abortion affects not only the woman’s body, but someone else–the baby growing inside her.
        The whole issue is a mess, to be sure, and the answer isn’t a one-size-fits-all, but neither should it be left unchecked. :/

        Liked by 1 person

    2. Hi Claire, thank you for joining the dialogue and for sharing your perspective. I respect that we have differing beliefs on this, and i appreciate you taking the time to share it. I personally believe that life begins at conception, which then shapes how i feel about abortion. But i totally respect your differing views. It is a tough issue with a lot of gray areas. So thank you for stopping by and adding to the convo! 🙂 hugs to you xox

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  42. So… One more thought. Again I apologize if this as already been said. When talking about abortion, I have noticed that pro/against debates go nowhere and usually just make people angry. On the other hand, if we start with questions, perhaps we can get to a dialogue and understanding.

    Are there conditions under which abortion is, albeit a sad choice, acceptable? Are there conditions under which abortion is, at the risk of denying free choice, unacceptable? To the latter, I believe that is actually in place because, unless the baby has died in womb or the mom is going to die, abortions are not allowed after a certain number of weeks.

    Let’s say a 13 year old is raped by her uncle or mom’s new boyfriend (sadly very common) and she becomes pregnant. We could also add into the equation that when mom finds out boyfriend did her daughter, she kicks the daughter into the street (also sadly common). Should she be forced to carry the baby to term and deliver it (and then what?)?

    In some areas, people test for the baby’s gender and any genetic issues. I understand that in some areas of the world, if they detect the baby has down syndrome the mother can opt for an abortion even if it’s very late in the term. How should we handle situations like that?

    If the state is to mandate against abortion, is the state going to assist a mother who is financially, physically or mentally unable to care for the child?

    In Canada, something that’s happening is birthing centres. Parents to be who are ill-equipped to be supporting a baby can go to the birthing centre where they can be assisted in the choices (birth, abort, birth then adopt) before them. The centre will educate them on the options as well as overall healthy sexuality. The centre won’t push for any choice but they are supportive and caring through whatever choice is made. This is a free service, I believe.

    Perhaps journeying through these questions help us to better appreciate each other and the complexity of these choices.

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  44. Not sure what a guy can write in response except that I think your voice on the matter is very important. I don’t understand why all the anger either. I love women (one in particular but many as dear friends). And it makes me wonder what I did wrong except be born with the wrong kind of plumbing.

    Ok, so I do know and have known several men who demean(ed) and even abuse(d) women – misogyny. But I know and have known a more or less equal proportion of women who demean(ed) and abuse(d) men – misandry. There are some crimes – like rape – that are overwhelmingly committed by men against women. But the overall climate of suspicion and anger is NOT in sync with the offense. Really.

    I was reading a post by my grown daughter recently ranking out some conservative woman who opposed the pink-pudendum-hat march on Washington recently. As I asked questions it became clear that NO ONE knew who this woman was or if she was even real. It was enough that she was the opposition and therefore, worthy of hatred and vitriol. I told my daughter that little kids invent imaginary friends, and how adult is it to invent imaginary enemies. Truth doesn’t matter. Nor do people.

    I would apologize for all the sins of all men everywhere if it would even make a difference. It would not.

    And I don’t know what I’d be apologizing for that I did, really. My favorite bosses (yes bosses) have all been women. The CEO of my ginormous company is a woman. Some of my most productive and brilliant colleagues have been women too. I’ve worked with them and been friends for decades.

    Now of course a lot of the current rancor has to do with our current POTUS. His locker room comments of 13 years ago caught on tape were those of an 18-year-old walking sperm cell (my reference to myself and all boys when at that age – clueless and hormonally insane but it usually goes away). Yet he was in his 50s. His Twitter practice makes the opposition crazy too.

    But those of the left are inventing imaginary enemies. Really, I don’t know who they’re talking about. Maybe we need a human sacrifice to satisfy them. Oh, that’s right, we already did.

    -John

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    1. Thank you so much for this thoughtful reflection, John. I would love to read your daughter’s article! It sounds fascinating! There’s so much great food for thought here. You know, you’re so right. I was talking with my dad about this too, and he had the same experience. He ran a global company, and all of his colleagues were women too! He doesn’t see the gap or oppression that is the cause of the anger. Sure there is some room for improvement in a lot of areas, but I just don’t see the crisis or oppression. But I am definitely open to hearing the other side. Learn from the experiences of others. So thank you for this great perspective! I really appreciate you joining the conversation. I am coming away with a new understanding and insight:) Hugs and love xox

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      1. So it wasn’t a post my daughter wrote but more of a form letter in response to a woman who nobody knew or could prove existed. It was tribe against tribe, mindless following without critical thinking. And it made me sad.

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  49. This is a brave and articulate post! You are clearly well informed on this issue, and once again, I’m impressed by your wisdom and your ability to communicate your perspective so clearly! I think I share all the thoughts that you expressed, but I could never put it all together in this way. All these women’s marches have been bothering me too, especially because feminism and women’s rights in this country (which once meant things like universal suffrage and equal pay) have been hijacked by abortionists. Where does that leave those of us who believe in promoting the dignity of women AND all human life? We aren’t welcomed among the feminist marchers. Until I read your post, I couldn’t even clearly verbalized what it was that bothered me so much about this problem. Your writing is so helpful. Thank you!

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    1. Thank you so much Lulu! Gosh, what an affirming response. i really really appreciate it. You’re right, pro-life women are not welcome at the marches…it’s really sad. That’s what my friend and i were talking about! we’re women, and yet we don’t feel welcome – nay, feeling hostility – from other women. A head scratcher for sure. thanks for taking the time to read – i know it was a bit of a longer article. hope you have a great weekend! big big hugs xox

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  50. I enjoyed this piece; living in Africa for 30+ years has given me a greater appreciation for all that women have available to them in the West. Most women here can only dream of giving birth in a clean hospital. Most women here can only dream of going to school – not to mention university. I could go on, but I digress. Thank you!

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing this perspective, Lea. Wow, yeah, that really makes my heart break for the conditions in other parts of the world. You’re right, women in the West have so much to be grateful for. It’s kinda like, you see what you look for…and seeing with eyes of gratitude makes you “see” a lot more. sending all my love 🙂 big hugs xox

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