Dear Kathy Griffin…

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Being a millennial New Yorker and actor, I’d like to think I’ve got pretty thick skin.

Getting rejected is par for the course in the entertainment industry. The city doesn’t do you any favors — just try battling the check out lines at Whole Foods at 3pm on a Sunday.  Heck, even the squirrels seems to have a certain undeniable hutzpah on these streets.

http---mashable.com-wp-content-gallery-new-york-city-animals-and-animals-everywhere-else-Squirrels

Really, nothing quite comes as a shock to me anymore, for better or for worse.

However.

Earlier this week, opening up my Buzzfeed app to find Kathy Griffin’s infamous photo of her, carrying the bloodied head of a decapitated President Donald Trump…I literally stopped in my tracks.

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Just. No.

And I have a few words.

This is not okay. I don’t care how much you hate the President or his policies, that went. too far.

It’s no secret that Donald Trump is one of – if not the most – polarizing Presidents in the history of the United States, but propagating his death – especially by deliberate decapitation – even as “comedy” – is never, under any circumstance, funny, or edgy, or boundary pushing, or remotely acceptable. Just. No.

I’m not here to drag Kathy Griffin through the coals, but when has this level of sordid obscenity become okay?

When has it become acceptable to emulate the likes of terrorists, and pass it off as political satire?

RealTalk: We need to wake up, look in the mirror, and say, how did I make that okay?

Because here’s the thing: Ms. Griffin is not stupid. She’s a managed comedy machine. And for better or for worse, that photo shoot was calculated: she took those pictures, because the climate of our society is such that smut is culturally acceptable. And dare I say, even celebrated. ((50 Shades of Gray much?))

Sure, maybe she’s having to back pedal now, but the fact is, she released it, because we allowed her to.

And my question is this: What role am I playing in that?

What am I doing to challenge or perpetuate this climate of awfulness?

Seriously.

What do I spend my money on? What shows do I watch? What video games do I play? What clothes do I wear?  What do I retweet, or read, or talk about?

We make our cultural beds, so to speak, every single day, by the actions that we take – or don’t take.

And Kathy Griffin’s grave misstep, is just one example of the monster that we’ve helped create.

I look around, as I’m walking through the streets of New York, and I’d say that 90% of the people have their heads down, buried in their phones.

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Source: stevecutts

I kid you not. I was walking through Bryant Park at dusk one evening, and at one point, I looked up and every. single. person. was engrossed in their phones. Even the couples sitting on blankets.

We vote by our browser history. Our Netflix queue. Our social media follows and feeds.

And you and I, we’re fighting an uphill battle, living in a culture that has left God behind long ago.

Now, I look at that picture of Kathy Griffin, and instead of remaining shocked and saddened and disgusted by this disrespect and terroristic nature of the photo, I’m instead, challenged to make a change.

Ignited to combat the depravity of our age.

And it starts with you and me: With our small sphere of influence. The people in our lives. The neighbors, friends, shop keepers, and community members. How do we spread love? Respect? Tolerance? Understanding? Forgiveness?

We do it by letting God shine through us.

We do it by looking up from our phones and engaging with people on a meaningful level – hearing their stories, and sharing our own. Encountering people, and sharing the truth that they are loved and that there is something — or rather SomeOne — greater to live for.

Even in something as little as a smile. Or a hug.

Because in the world that can be oppressive and dark, a little light goes a long way.

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It starts with you and me.

It starts today.

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498 thoughts on “Dear Kathy Griffin…”

  2. Great post — you summed up my thoughts on the subject.

    I’m not a fan of Trump, however I would never wish him ill both as the president and as a human being, because it is the decent thing to do. Wishing the president — your president — ill is like shooting yourself in the foot. I support the president, because he is the president.

    The American people who obsess over his perceived or actual faults are creating a negative climate — just petty things like his wife, children, businesses, hell even body language. I’m convinced the man could cure cancer and folks would still twist it in a negative light. None of his positive doings are reaching mainstream media because these asshats are mired in negativity and want to obsess over these actual/perceived faults. One of my friends on Fb posted eight, counted them, posts about the damned typo and poking fun. As did others.

    Its becoming obnoxious and stupid.

    These folks seem to have way too much time on their hands.

    To be honest, I kind of admire him for keeping his shit together in spite of all the billshit. Not only is it normal presidential stuff, but half the nation despises the man and are actively working against him.

    Not going to lie –I would have folded.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this thought provoking response. you’re so right – there is a veil of negativity over Trump, perpetuated by the media and celebrities, deserved or not. I know, it’s like, haven’t we all made a dumb typo before?? hah Very true – he is our President and as a result, we should respect him and at the very least, give him a chance. Thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank you Caralyn for your good honest writing. Since I am a Canadian, I cannot comment much on U.S. politics, but on the disrespect towards people I can.
    I didn’t see the original picture, I am happy to say, but hearing about it was enough to be disgusted. I don’t know Kathy Griffin, and don’t believe I have ever heard her, and now know I don’t wish to.
    We know the Bible tells us to pray for our leaders, but of course the majority of people would not read it, or know that. But besides that, everyone should know that respect should be shown to the office of the leaders of our countries, if not the person’s actions, since that person still holds the office.
    I do believe Caralyn, that if people like Kathy Griffin, including her, could know you, and hang out with you, they would learn a lot about caring for and about others, respecting others, having love for others, even when they don’t agree. Actually, others would see and hear Jesus Christ in action, with His Holy Spirit speaking and working through you.
    Thanks Caralyn, for making the world a better place, and touching many, in many ways, in NYC, U.S.A., and wherever your wisdom and love is read, including Canada,
    Luv ❤️ Hugs
    George

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    1. Hey George! thank you so much for this thoughtful response. you’re so right – it was fully disgusting. We really should be praying for our leaders, not tearing them down. Oh my gosh, what a kind thing to say, George. I am seriously so touched by that generous remark. thank you with all my heart. Thank YOU for being such a positive source in my life. you are a blessing to me. 🙂 big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for your kindness, Caralyn. God’s Blessings. Oh, one favour to ask. Will you kindly update us all periodically, once a week or whatever feels right for you, on your Mom and Dad, as to how they are, and how they are doing? Thanks a bunch. More hugs. 😀

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      1. I love all your stuff! Funny a friend reposted your blog on Facebook and I told her – Oh I love her stuff too! Very good and so glad your mom is recovering well! XXOO

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  6. While I agree that talk of hurting other is never okay I will also say that Mr. Trump creates all of his own messes. Media is not to blame. No one is to blame but him and his inability to keep his mouth shut and his finger off the tweet button. Unfortunately, people often imitate what they see from the top down and Trump has created all of the ugliness and an ugly climate himself.

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    1. Thank you so much for this food for thought. All I know is that violence is never okay. The good thing is that we can start in our own little circles of influence and propagate kindness and respect 🙂 thanks for stopping by. big hugs xox

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    1. Hi Michael, thank you so much for this thoughtful response. you’re right – it really is a sad commentary on humanity. We need to find our way back to human decency. At the very least. Thanks for stopping by. big hugs xo

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  9. Wow, this really hit spot on for me. It really bothers me how often I see people not looking up from their phones when they are with people, it just describes such a selfishness. Let’s be different from that. Let’s look up and seriously engage in the people around us. Thank you for this!

    Much love,
    Ashley | dearash.com

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    1. Hi Ashley, thank you so much for this thoughtful response. You’re right – we need to get back to being in the moment with people. Learn to engage and listen and be present. Thanks for stopping by! big hugs xo

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  10. I’m sure the defense of anybody who has chosen to be blinded by the depravity of such obscene post would be that it is purely entertainment, or comical, or it is symbolic to a message she is trying to pass along, but not necessarily meaning violence. The truth is that conceptions like this are being entertained because of the degeneration we have plunged ourselves into, but I am glad that someone had the courage enough to point it out.

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  12. Griffin once lectured Elisabeth Hasselbeck on respecting the office of the President simply because EH disagreed with President Obama’s policies. I guess respect doesn’t extend to offensive satire.

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  14. I think those with money are already thinking about leaving this planet and trying to establish a colony on some desert planet. Better to stay here as you point out and try and shed some light on this depraved age we live in.

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  16. This should end Kathy Griffin’s career. In effect, she cut off her own head.
    Remember what happened to the Dixie Chicks in March of 2003 and all they did was make this comment: “Just so you know, we’re on the good side with y’all. We do not want this war, this violence, and we’re ashamed that the President of the United States is from Texas.”

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    1. Thanks so much Eric. You’re right, and I think it actually did – no more CNN, not more sponsorships. She really did off her own head. Yeah, that was the end of the Dixie Chicks too. Some things just go too far. Ugh. Thanks for stopping yb! hugs x

      Liked by 1 person

  18. I’ve done some looking inward this week as I have been challenged to really ask myself honestly, “Am I really sure of where I stand in this world?”

    Am I doing enough? Am I speaking out against wrongs done to others? Am I reaching out instead of turning away? What would God say to me about these questions if he were looking me in the eye and speaking right to my face?

    I really don’t like the answers to these questions if I am honest.

    Your post reinforces this and drives me to look deeper, judge less and strive to not fit into the mess that is the world around me.

    Thanks again for an inspiring post!

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  19. My viewings & listenings have changed dramatic since coming to Christ, still a long way for me to go though. Also literally yesterday I got called homophobic for standing up against Gay “Marriage”. And with regards to another election people think the best way forward is with a non-christian twice divorced man with links to a “former” terrorist group ( I still needed to work on loving others & have patience with them if you haven’t guessed😂) hope you are well and your mum is too, sending lots of love to both of you, sorry for the rant, feel you get my thinking with this xxx

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  20. Wonderful post. I disagree with the president on almost all of his policies, for what that’s worth, and it isn’t necessarily always worth much. I think he’s dangerous as a president. But he deserves our love, our prayers, and our respect as a human being, and we should respect the office he occupies. I am rooting for him, even though at nearly every turn I personally disagree with him (yesterday, leaving the Paris Climate agreement behind). I think your thoughts here are spot on. The liberals are just as bad as the conservatives, if not worse. I can’t stomach either side, the way they go after each other. I’m allergic to Fox News, to MSNBC, to talk radio, etc. My rant over. Thanks for putting up with my thoughts here. I hang my hat on one thing: the gospel of King Jesus.

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    1. Thanks Ted. I really appreciate this thoughtful response. You’re right, no matter how a person feels about him, we need to respect the office of the Presidency. Amen – i hang my hat on that too!! 😉 hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  21. When I saw it I thought of Antonio Canova’s “Perseus.” The visual story is almost a replica but, not many people would know it. I did, get a fond compliment from the museum there in Italy that has the original.

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      1. I can understand the backlash as well. It is convenient though, isn’t it? The Comey hearing and Flynn subpoena pretty much fell off of media. Then, the narrative becomes Trump the victim again. It’s like a badly written Lifetime movie.

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      3. Perseus, is in the Vatican. Uh, it doesn’t matter people want to agree to commentary rather than news. Art is dialogue and protected by the First Amendment. That does not fit the commentary, either. Neither does Trump’s want to, “bomb the crap out of those Muslims.” Glass houses and stones, or something.

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  24. Sadly, I don’t think Kathy Griffin did anything others weren’t feeling. We do have a very interesting President who inspires a whole new level of vitriol. But a severed head is the stuff of ISIS and has no place in the animated dialog (to euphemize a bit).

    For her part, Ms. Griffin lost her job, got skewered by both sides of the aisle and is being tracked by the Secret Service. Whether or not she learned her lesson, she did pay and is paying for her overage of zeal.

    I applaud your approach to the current discourteous polarity. We need more love. Period. I’d add humility, humor and transparency. We need to be bigger people than we’ve been, on all sides of the polarity. We’re better than this, at least we used to be.

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  25. “Because in the world that can be oppressive and dark, a little light goes a long way”.!!!!!!!!!!!
    So very true! Thank you for that entire post.
    Really brings it all into perspective!
    If you want to change the world – start in your own back yard!!!!

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  26. Great post, Caralyn! I disgusted by the display put on by Kathy Griffin. And to call it ‘art’ is just giving hate another name. It says in the Bible that they will call good evil and evil good. By only seeing a handful of people on the left condemn her actions is a testament to that passage of Scripture. Thank you for sharing and thank you for helping us all see that there is a better way to go about this…with kindness and showing others that Christ is within us. 🙂

    On a side note, I totally get what you’re saying about city squirrels. I have in-laws who live in Philadelphia and those squirrels are not small! When they will crack open peanuts between their paws (hands?), then you know they’re tough!

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    1. Thanks so much Joe! you’re right, kindness is what we need to rediscover in our culture! hahah, yeah, squirrels are definitely not to be messed with ’round these parts 😉 haha hugs xo

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  27. AWESOME thoughts, Caralyn. This discussion is SO needed in our culture. And I’m so glad someone in your generation is addressing it.

    You said: “RealTalk: We need to wake up, look in the mirror, and say, how did I make that okay?”

    Yes, I hope this is a wake up call. And it doesn’t matter if it’s the President or a homeless person. This is what Jesus addressed in the Sermon on the Mount when He said that cultivating anger is the spirit of murder (Matt.5:21-26). This evil trajectory takes us on a path away from valuing human life made in God’s image, to the point where we think it’s okay to destroy it. It’s cold-hearted and the very opposite of other-centered love. Actually, how is this different than what ISIS is doing?

    I don’t care if someone is a believer or an atheist, we know this is very wrong and it should give us pause as a society. It reveals something very sick in how we see one another as human beings. It really needs to change.

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    1. Thank you so much Mel! You’re so right – where is the sanctity of human life? So so true – we need to get back to the spirit of respect and love. thanks for sharing these great thoughts, Mel. have a great Friday. hugs xo

      Liked by 1 person

  29. She SOOOO went too far!!! I despise Trump but this was not comedy. This was not funny – more like a death threat! I know she wasn’t seeing as a death threat but yeah… it does come off that way! I feel sorry for Trump’s young son – what a traumatizing thing to see! I hope he didn’t but of course, how could he not?

    I don’t know if we’ve created a culture to allow for this to happen. I agree we all need to do our part to lead by example in a positive and loving way. I think back in history – And that violent part of human beings always existed. It is actually far more ‘policed’ these days then it was back when earlier civilization started.

    And, putting on my sociology and psychology cap, I think of societies like Japan who have a red light district where one can play out pretty much a lot of fantasies. And how their porn industry is pretty perverse. And yet, they have such a low sex crime rate compared to other developed countries. Why is that?

    I’m not saying I am for all the graphic violence we see in movies and TV shows (heck – I am a HUGE Walking Dead fan) but I believe to some extent, we all need a bit of release through fiction. The question might be – to what extent? And – what are doing for the people who suffer from mental illness and who can not distinguish what SHOULD be kept as fantasy/fiction and reality?

    I would rather our society/government put more funding into mental illness and awareness. I believe as our culture becomes more lonely due to high technology and the way we conduct business, depression and anxiety will be more of an epidemic (I believe it already is on it’s way to becoming one). As a society, we are going to have WAY more problems.

    To conclude – I also hate seeing people walk around with their head down and focusing on their phones. For one thing, it’s dangerous. But it is also annoying. How many times have I had to walk behind some one walking SUPER SLOWLY because they are on their phone and yet the aisle is too narrow for me to pass them as they walk RIGHT DOWN the middle? Or the plethora of times I can not get my fave gym machine because some is on it, but barely working out because they are busy texting. For 15 minutes! Come on. If you’re not going to even try to break a sweat get off and let me actually USE the machine for its purpose! 🙂

    Good post – food for thought for sure.

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    1. thanks so much for this thoughtful response. you’re right – it was terroristic in nature. i know, my heart breaks for his son, Barron too. How absolutely traumatizing. it’s a real shame. And that’s a great point about texting at the gym. i don’t belong to one, but that must be utterly annoying! hugs x

      Liked by 1 person

  31. Thank you, well stated and heart felt. We would all do well to treat others as we ourselves wish to be treated. Even if we do not always agree with each other we can disagree with respect and decency.
    Blessings

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  32. Let me say first of all I am NOT a big fan of the president , but that’s a topic for another day. What Kathy Griffin did was not only wrong but it was just as disrespectful as the people who did hung a noose around the effigy of President Obama and thought THAT was funny. As a black woman whose family is from North and South Carolina , it wasn’t ! Neither was this. First of all I don’t find Kathy Griffin funny at all, wasn’t a fan of hers before and DEFINITELY am not a fan now. She should be ashamed of herself .

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  33. Such a good post! So sad the lack of respect in our country. Also all the heads buried in phones is devastating and I really want to be a person to shine Jesus’ light, and not just be engrossed in my own little not-even-real world. Thank you!

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  37. This. Absolutely. I was horrified by Kathy Griffin’s photo shoot too. I mean, how did anyone on that project think that was okay? On so many levels it’s wrong. Your post reminds us to be aware of what we support and to reach out in positive ways to one another. Thank you for it.

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  38. You have never disappointed me, I shared something on my whatapp bc earlier today. I thought about writing about it on my blog but I changed my mind. I think I will simply share this cos I think the message is one even though we see through different lenses.
    Love you plenty BBB

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  39. You wrote what I would have. That image of Trump reminds me of terrorism. Yet, we have too allow such images to happen to appear due to freedom of speech. That is the ONLY defense I have for her poor tasteless joke- if it is one. If it were like John F Kennedy the response would have been different! Different era and different view of what you should and should not say! We, as a nation, have changed. Great post. Keep up to good work!

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  42. My dear friend call up mr. prize because you deserve a Pulitzer. As perhaps the best post I’ve ever read in recent memory one sentence comes to mind in this day in age, we need more Jesus time and less screen time. I completely understand the complexities and the use of Technologies some of it can be bad some of it can be good. Constantly I’m battled with do I look at Twitter or do don’t I? Am I sad that I left Facebook that no one can find me? Except for maybe Carolyn and it’s sophisticated GPS… I’m even beginning to wonder whether I should watch the news. If I watch it too long you give me mind battles. I’m on like most of the people in the world I don’t watch television 90% of the day and yet I do because I have this little thing in my pocket and the Millennials call it a cell phone that you can even watch television on your cell phone nowperiod how spoiled of a generation Have We Become? You’re a classic millennial when I say classic Millennial I mean you’re one of the millennials that people should look up to and be inspired by. That being said I was never of a Kathy Griffin fan because she was terrible to Annie. I’m a fan of Donald Trump because I’m a friend of God. You’re right my friend tolerance forgiveness love is what we need but isn’t it so funny how when we take a gruesome image like the one we had just saw in that terrible terrible distasteful photoshoot that they lousing left scream Free Speech free speech. And anytime conservatives mention God In School it’s advocated as teaching them against the curriculum. You and I should cold blog sometime because you and I share quite a lot in common in terms of thinking and thought process and faith. As a matter of fact people congratulate the 60s people on free speech and freedom March but the fact of it remains and that the reason we have violence in schools today is because the Ten Commandments in prayer has been taken out of our schools. Don’t blame free speech on the hippies from the 60s they have enough problems with their drug overdoses the blame lies with Mankind and the enemy for the state of the world that we live in today. This by no means is God’s fault at all it is all late at the hands and feet of the enemy and man….

    God bless

    A.

    PS I didn’t leave Twitter becau of you. I left Twitter because it was getting in the way of my Jesus time. Hey that rhymes.
    Your friend in Christ always taking time to be kind
    Anthony

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      5. I wash my hands this morning so very white and clean I lent them both to Jesus. To work for him until night. Little feet be careful when you take me to anything for Jesus only let me do. I told my ears to listen quite closely for any act of kindness level hands can do little feet be careful where you take me to. My eyes are set to watch them about work or play period to keep them out of mischief for Jesus sake all day. That is a poem that is hung in my Ohio Church. Yes I go to church in Ohio isn’t that funny. The Canadian kid goes to church in Ohio. The air is nicer up there and I’m not just talking about the fact that the United States has pulled out of the Paris climate agreement period jokes

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      7. I know I want to move there I love it there. I don’t just love their for the pizza either. I will one day I hope just like I’m hoping and watching for the rapture. Ohio people are the nicest people perhaps that’s why we get along so well because you’re from Ohio and not born and bred in New York so you don’t have a chip on your shoulder like Robert De Niro.

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  43. I read today, someone on Facebook had commented, “Trump isn’t the problem, he’s the symptom.” And it goes to show yes, our world circulates around what our culture accepts. What the majority has determined as the norm. Do we accept? We don’t have to, but like you stated, how much of ourselves are we putting in this norm? I really enjoyed you opening up about the topic. Well done.

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  44. Love you thoughts about how to use social media! It should be the goal of each one of us share beauty and encourage our our varied social media outlets rather than drama and hate. What’s the saying? Be the change, right?

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  47. Pastor! God is speaking through you to be His light in dark places! So proud of you and the way you share your walk of faith! Praying for you and your family. Say hi to your Mom for me and let her know I am praying for her ! Thank you!

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  48. From Australia, I can’t really comment on US politics but I would have been disturbed by the image had I seen it. The last thing any of us need is an incitement to violence – even if made in jest.

    Keep on writing!

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