The Silent Scream

It’s not very often that I’m shaken by things.

I’m pretty bullet proof.

I mean, as an actor, rejection is part of the game.

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And hey, putting my life out on the internet, I’m pretty much asking for people to hit me with a myriad of varying opinions. I get it. Heck, I welcome it. Bring it on.

But what I don’t appreciate, is ignorance.

Nope, I don’t appreciate bullies hiding behind the anonymity of a computer screen to tear down or intimidate another person.

That, in my opinion, is the lowest of lows.

I mean, we’re better than that, people.

And to be honest, I hate to even give a bully the time of day, but I was just so disgusted that I had to clear something up.

Over the weekend, I received an email. I was out on the boat with my family, and I was scrolling through my messages, as I often do during the day, and I came across a message that, in so many words, was calling me a temptress. This person said some truly hurtful things, questioning the authenticity of my faith, and saying I was trying to make men stumble and putting my story on the internet with the purpose of making men “lust” after me.

It was just so condescending and offensive.

I couldn’t believe it. I thought, are you reading the same blog??

And so, as someone who won’t shy away from a clap back, I decided to clear up precisely why I write this blog. Share what my true motives are.

Because…news flash: it’s not to make men “lust” after me.

There was a time in my life that was very dark: when I was going through my anorexia, ten years ago.

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And the thing about this disease that makes it so insipid, is that it thrives in secrecy. That’s why it is so painfully misunderstood.

Parents and doctors don’t know how to get through to the girls (or boys) suffering from this disease that is slowly killing them.

When I finally got better, I would talk to my parents about that heartbreaking season we had successfully been suppressing out of existence. And the number one thing they said was that they felt completely out of control. That their hands were tied.

They were watching their little girl slowly waste away, and there was nothing they could do to get through to me.

And that planted the seed in my mind. But it wasn’t until a friend’s sister began showing signs of an eating disorder, that I finally decided that this is what I was called to do.

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I have always been a believer that God uses everything for good. No suffering is ever wasted, because eventually, it will be used to help another person.

And this was it.

I knew that I needed to tell my story: I needed to share the reality of the disease – tell all the things that girls going through an eating disorder wished they could tell their parents, but couldn’t…because “ED” wouldn’t let them.

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During my anorexia, there were so many things that I wished I could have told my parents – things like, I’m lying to you about what I’m eating. Or I need you to ask me why I’m hurting. Or I’m afraid of gaining weight but I can’t tell you that because I don’t want to seem like a shallow and superficial jerk. Inside, I was just screaming at the top of my lungs for help, but I was being strangled by the rituals and fear and control of the eating disorder.

Anorexia and secrecy go hand in hand, and I wanted to just tear down the curtain and expose all things that parents needed to know about what their child was going through so that maybe one person could be saved from the agony and anguish my family endured during those three years that I was controlled by anorexia.

I’m not proud of my story. I’m not sharing these things to “brag.” And certainly not to allure men to pity me or be attracted to me. That is just…what?!?

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I’m sharing my story to hopefully prevent a girl from adolescent osteopenia, infertility, shattered relationships, a lifelong battle with self-worth and body dysmorphia, and all the other shit – excuse my French – that I’ve had to work through as a result of this damn disease.

Trying to get men to lust after me?

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Sweetheart, it sounds like you need to take a cold, hard, look at your own insecurities.

I’m working through my issues, sounds like you should too.

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And so I’d like to do something: I’ll be taking questions all this week,: You can email me, (beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com) or leave a comment here, with any questions you have, and I’ll answer as many as I can in a post next week.

I want to get back to the roots of this blog, and helping others – obviously not as a doctor/therapist/dietician or anyone with the “credentials” to professionally do so, but just as a girl who has been to those depths and back, and is now living in the abundance of a life free from ED.

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

469 thoughts on “The Silent Scream

  1. Pray marshmallows stick to their shoes for a year. I would tell them they must lack courage because they hide behind anonymity. They must be jealous so stand tall my friend.

  2. People are crazy! I agree there is nothing worse than internet bullies, and that my friend is just a ridiculous claim. It is true that the more you put yourself out there, the more vulnerable you are making yourself to this type of thing, but that doesn’t make their actions or opinions right.

      1. Hey, I believe bullies themselves are severely neglected people seeking attention. Have mercy on them and ignore them until they find better ways to express themselves.

  3. How could this person be so cruel. You’re a lovely person but I for one as a guy who follows and supports you feel you’re not out to get guys after you and I hope you feel that the other way too.

    Be who you are and don’t let any haters get in the way of you and your mission in life… You are pretty awesome 😊

    1. Thanks Simon, yeah I was prettytaken aback by just the way this person was out to tear me down. Just gotta dust it off! Thanks for your encouragement. Hugs and love xox

  4. Im quite confused on how anybody could see this blog as a means to “make men lust after you”.. like what???? how awful! Just know your blog is making an impact all over the world! Thank you for your continued transparency ! xo

    1. Thanks Sophie. Yeah I was like…huh?!? It was a really discouraging message. Thanks for your constant kindness and positivity! It means a lot 🙂 have a great evening Sophie! Hugs and love xox

  5. Yes!! EXACTLY why I started my blog too! Eating disorders are so much more common than people think, people need other people to speak up and say “we are here and we know what you go through” im soooooo thankful for your blog, Caralyn because is actually inspired me to get into a support group and I could finally say that I needed help. Now I’m on a mission to help others. Sending you love, xoxo

    1. Oh my gosh Caitlin. I can’t begin to express how much this touches my heart. I am so glad that you’ve found hope here and have joined that group. You are AMAZING! and an inspiration and I hope you can hear me cheering for you! Sending so much love and hugs xox

  6. I think that we need to not give any space to people with a destructive attitude towards us. I’m older than you, so I’ve learned to let go of those – but in the past I did my share of reproaching others myself. Not engaging them and keeping silent about their behavior… is your best ‘weapon’. This type of behavior can’t be stopped until the person herself is enlightened about how she is doing an evil deed even though she acts believing to be backed by goodness. It’s the second time in a short while I see you clarifying the purpose of your blog, but this energy you are spending can be saved: those of us who aren’t out here to judge know exactly the meaning of your blog. It’s pretty obvious. On the other hand, those out there who come to judge will judge regardless – they are in a quest to judge.

  7. Im so sorry you went through this..As a revovering addict I have similar motivations as to why I blog and open up about dark things in my addiction and other insecurities. I applaud your blog..there is real ignorance in the world and so much projection…just put it down to that..bullies are very sad people and they are full of ignorance. God bless. 🌷

  8. Miss Caralyn,
    One thing I hear quite clearly is a sense of compassion in your words. I see you recognizing that the Person behind the words is in pain in some way and you’re willing to extend your vulnerability and compassion in spite of their harsh words.
    You are, without a doubt a beautiful young woman. Women have, for far too long, been held responsible for the way men, rather naturally, respond to a woman they find attractive. The accusation that you’re writing the blog to attract the attentions of a guy is absurd. The title of your blog, “Beauty Beyond Bones” indicates that you are looking deeper, you are looking toward the beauty that God gives us as His well loved children. You’re looking deeper.
    I fully support you taking this on, because your responses will be kind, clear, and not demeaning to yourself, or anyone else along the way.The support goes on to re-presenting your story, re-telling the tale that brought you to this moment, with this blog.
    I will offer that there may be a moment to walk away from that conversation, for you, rather than for this hurting person.
    God bless!
    Teri

  9. Pastor, I have always seen your blog as a mission trip in progress! Yes, you are attractive, however if anyone would take the time to read your blog, they would soon see a very consistant theme. Helping people by sharing your story and testimony! Keep preachin’ pastor and I’ll keep attending! Prayers and hi to your Mom!

  10. A LOT of people these days can only feel good about themselves when they’re dragging other people down. It’s really sad. Ignore the comments or emails of those kinds of people, avoid ANY kind of interaction with them….but pray for them, with love and compassion. They do not have a faith life (and they like to taunt their victims by questioning their faith), and they are very, VERY broken! 😥

  11. Carolyn, just keep being WONDERFUL, AWESOME, MADE-IN-THE-IMAGE OF GOD you! His light is always shining through you and your generous heart has never done anything more than care for ‘the needs of others.’ I am proud of how you have learned you TOO deserve care – don’t let the darkness of someone else’s opinion cloud over this reality. Continue to pray for them, as I know you already are…and trust God will begin to transform their hearts. And if it helps…I highly recommended a book in a post some time ago titled: Unoffendable https://hugsnblessings.com/?s=unoffendable There is so much wisdom I personally appreciated from the author, Brant Hansen. It’s scripturally based, so I do believe you’d enjoy it too! Until then, warm hugs of love for the beauty you bring to the cyber-world (and beyond!)

  12. Hey Caralyn, we get it, well most of us. Thank you for this blog and your wonderful sense of courage! And your faith is so inspiring.
    I recognize that type of criticism you received as being based in a strict fundamentalist faith and culture. I say culture because they have certain standards that they believe are correct, and even Biblical, and if anyone crosses that line then they are considered out of order. And these types of people are so quick to criticise!
    I know this because I was there too just a few years ago. Having come out of that thinking, and those types of churches has been a life changing experience! I can honestly say it took some recovery time, although it was nothing like you went through.
    God bless you and thanks again!

    1. Thank you. I am so touched by your encouragement. Yeah, criticism is hard to receive for sure. I’m glad you’re on the healing journey 🙂 Know that I’ve got your back, my friend! big hugs xo

  13. I love how you look at suffering. When you said that suffering is never wasted and we use it to help others, I just felt like that was something I really needed to hear but never knew. I don’t look at suffering like you do but I think it may help me with some things.

    1. thanks girlie. Yeah, suffering is never wasted. My mom always taught me that. I hope that it hits home. I’ve found that the more I think about it, the more it moves in my heart and gives me peace. thanks for stopping by. big hugs to you x

  14. Just…wow. He didn’t read you from the start as I have. Otherwise he might have had a different take instead of judging you so harshly. But more on Patreon!

  15. Aren’t people unreal? It’s taken many years on the internet to get a feel for what ails us as human beings. We’re self absorbed and pathetic, what can I say. I call it teh stoopid. On the bright side, all these critics can help you feel better about yourself. I mean, if we’re grading on a curve here, I can at least look at them with some compassion and see how we all have issues. 🙂

    1. it really is baffling. thanks for your kind words. it definitely was a good exercise in sharing my true motives for the blog. good to clarify 🙂 thanks for stopping by! big hugs xo

  16. I agree with the little yellow fella in the GIF – what!? That is so disgusting. This person obviously has some serious issues hiding away. Temptress? Heck no. Rise above this nonsense and be strong! 👊🏻👊🏻👊🏻

  17. You hit something about admiration. A man could have female followers and a woman could only have pursuers. Unfair. I admit I don’t always stay on topic. Paths cross and uncross.

  18. Caralyn. I feel so bad that someone, a male, not a man, would write to you that way. I hope he wasn’t professing to be a Christian, because his actions Don’t line up.
    Your story on your blog is obviously being told to help others, and I would say to help families of others who are living through ED.
    A main highlight of your writing also, is the definite love you have for Jesus Christ, and your willingness to share that continually.
    Caralyn, you are respected, honoured, loved, admired as a person, a LADY, a Christ Follower.
    Don’t pay attention to those who write or speak so negatively, and don’t really pay attention to what they read when they write.
    Luv ya Caralyn! ❤⚘😀

    1. Aw, George! Thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement! i am seriously smiling from ear to ear. you are such a great friend. you’re right, gotta just brush it off and keep on moving!! God is good! big hugs to you xox

  19. I’m a guy. I read your blog. I have never for a moment reached that conclusion. I think you are doing a great thing telling your story.

    It seems to me that if the dude has that much trouble controlling his feelings when reading your blog he ought to find something else to read.

  20. I’m a 60-year-old man with a wide and worldly experience. You are not in any way at any level writing as a “temptress.” We may disagree in many ways, but I never doubt your sincerity or the strength of your recovery. You can safely ignore that comment as someone else’s sickness, not anything real about you.

    1. thank you so much 🙂 gosh, you are so awesome. You’re right – i think it was more revealing about that person’s own issues they’re dealing with. just gotta brush it off. thanks for the encouragement. big hugs x

  21. Yipes. Firstly, whoever sent you that email has some deep, and I will use this word: PROBLEMS. It’s not rational, not sane, not anything but distorted and hateful, and moreover terribly sad. Such a person lives without joy. I guess you could say Creator gave you a challenge there- how do you respond to such poison with clarity and Love? Seems to me you did just that. I find your blog very much worth reading on many levels, in part because you HAVE survived the darkness and pain, and risen from it. Keep up all your good work!

    1. thanks so much for your support. you’re right, it really is sad, and I should pray for this person — that’s what Jesus would do. And yes…that is a c.h.a.l.l.e.n.g.e. Thanks for your encouraging words. big hugs to you xox

  22. Apparently that reader has been interpreting things differently or not looking at the same blog as I am. I haven’t seen anything inappropriate on your blog. I love reading your blog and seeing your journey. Keep your head held high and keep doing what it is that you are doing….I know you will help and inspire others.

    (I’m the first one to call other women out on their inappropriate attire or actions so if you don’t hear it from me it must not be true. It’s something I can’t hold my tongue on because I don’t want my young girls looking up to women like that and I don’t want my husband or son exposed to that)

  23. I hope you responded with, “Hey… I can’t help looking this good.” 😉
    I wonder, was it a guy or girl who wrote the email? If a guy, the answer’s simple: read another blog. Women in the Middle East wear head coverings, I believe, partly because men don’t want to feel “tempted.” Just cause I feel tempted, it’s not my place to demand every woman wear a burka. If you look attractive to someone, it’s not their place to demand you stop being who you are.
    I, for one, have never ever felt that in any of your posts have you come across like you were trying to be a “temptress.” If you are, you’ve got a pretty goofy way of going about it.

    1. hahaha oh my gosh that made me laugh out loud. Thank you so much for your support. Yeah, if “tempting” means sharing all the gross and ugly details about your life in an embarrassing and self deprecating way, then sure! haha thanks for saying that. means a lot. hugs x

  24. I had a Muslim friend who thought women who weren’t wearing a Bourka were trying to seduce men. Yet he would act sexy and try to seduce as many American women (married or not) as he could. Your creep could have been using a more “Christian” standard, saying women should wear XXX. Likely he doesn’t hold himself to the same standard. I look at you and see a diamond emerging, bright and beautiful. In some people, I see Emeralds, Pearls, etc. You can see them in most people, but some buried very deep.
    Douglas

  25. That’s just so rude!! Keyboard warriors are definitely the worst, their uninterested in you and your why, they’re just concerned with their own rubbish.
    Your blog is great and like you I blog to hopefully have girls/women not go through what I have. I’m sure, like me, you wished there was something like this for you to read, to connect with and show you there is a different way. Keep up the incredible work, you never know who’s life you’re changing every day xx

    1. Thanks so much for your support, Louise. Keyboard warriors! i’ve never heard that term but it’s so accurate! Thanks so much for the affirmation. means the world. big hugs to you xox

  26. I suppose all of us can look back on life and find someone has either misinterpreted what we are doing or saying, or are just plain nasty and making us the object of their dismal outlook on life. At first I have to admit I took them seriously and was more than slightly annoyed they’d invaded my space when they knew little about me. Over time though I’ve come to realize some of those outbursts are a cry for help. Their lives are just so dysfunctional they hit out indiscriminately in the hope someone will notice them and help them through whatever is causing their dysfunctional attitude. Instead of dismissing these people pray for them. They need the Lord to touch their heart and make them into happy and fulfilled people.. As for you being a temptress, keep on tempting people to love the Lord as you have been doing so effectively. You are a good person, feel sorry for those who like the one you mention have such an unhappy self-centred existence.

    1. Thanks Ian. You’re so right – it’s sad, because it really is usually a cry for help. I should pray for this person. Easier said than done, but that’s what Jesus would do. Thanks for such a beautiful encouragement. means a lot. big hugs xo

  27. Sometimes I really hate people. Well, the negative ones. I am glad you realized that that person was insecure. It’s amazing how people like that can be cancerous and spread their negativity around.

      1. true. very true. it’s like the rule was, “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” NOT “if you don’t have anything nice to say, say it anonymously.” lol

  28. There’s no way for anyone to actually understand how another person feels, as we only reflect upon the experiential Self we recognize and assimilate with. That being said…whenever you attempt to offer an opportunity for connection with thousands of other people, you’re going to get this type of behavior from a small percentage of that population? I’m not suggesting it’s appropriate or acceptable, but it has to be expected at some point. How do you choose what to ignore, and what to write about here?

    1. thanks for this thoughtful response. you’re right, you can’t please everybody. Honestly, I know it sounds hokey, but I pray about what I should write. I just step up to the keyboard and say, “okay Lord, what do you want me to say tonight?” Thanks for stopping by! big hugs xo

  29. No worries, I don’t lust after you is just my charm that get women to fall in love with me without meaning to and now it even getting stronger again from learning something from my past that I don’t even remember, that is sad, funny and ironic that is my roommate that I made a mistake with, but it was with my sprite personality, lol, how ironic is that?

  30. Beautiful post! It is so wonderful that you have taken the time and energy to speak out about such a “secret” disease in the efforts to help others. Take the criticism as a compliment. I love this quote: “Pay no attention to what the critics say. A statue has never been erected in honor of a critic.” 😀

    1. thanks so much Sherina! Yes! It is my deepest prayer to help those who are suffering from it. Because there is a way out. there is hope. Even when you can’t see it, the hope is there. thanks for your kind words. big hugs xox

  31. You are right, Caralyn! Bullies are a pathetic species. Keep doing what they are doing and they can keep rolling in their filth (yes, that’s a euphemism)! I hope you are well despite this.

    1. thanks so much Brandon. Yeah, just gotta brush them off. oh yeah, i was more annoyed than anything. I just had to clear things up for my own sanity. Thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

      1. I hear ya. Sometimes we need to take inventory, and just write it down. I have a whole series of blog posts on that right now. I called them Versions as they’re of versions of bullies that I’ve encountered. Big Hugs to you too! XoXoXo

  32. You just keep doing what you’re doing! The enemy wants to stop you from using your faith and your story to help lift others up, so he uses people like that guy to attack you.

    1. thanks Cahall. that’s so true – the enemy will take out all the stops and wants nothing more than to squelch our efforts of faith. But God is stronger and He will prevail! thanks for your encouragement! big hugs x

  33. Thanks again for sharing your why. I also love the idea of having us ask questions if we have any. You can, and will do some amazing work for the kingdom of God.
    Keep on sharing the why.

    1. thanks friend. yes! the why is important, and i really do pray that this blog can be a source of hope and potentially some answers for someone who is in the thick of ED either themselves or with their loved one. God is good. big hugs to you xox

  34. I am sickened that anyone would send you an email like that. I have never felt that way about you and never will. You are a lovely young woman that people like that see as a threat, or are jealous. As you know, I am 73 years old and the only woman I lust after is my wife. Do I say nice things to you and other women bloggers and comment on how they look or how they write? Yes I do and I damn sure won’t stop! Whoever wrote that email is filled with their own insecurities. I am so sorry you had to deal with this. You should publish their email address, but I know you are better than that. Never change and never give up! You are you and you are an inspiration!

    1. thanks so much Walt. Yeah, it’s really sad. Gosh, I am so touched by your kind words. Thank you. You are so awesome. You’re right – it really shows a lot about what they’re going through, and I really should pray for them. easier said than done haha Thanks for your kind words! big hugs to you xox

  35. I was a brand new Christian in the late 90s, when the big fad was that dating was bad and the whole purity thing was huge among youth and college groups. You know that I’m no fan of casual sex, but a lot of Christian communities took this way too far. I moved in 2001, a few weeks before I turned 25, and found myself at the church I refer to in my blog as Church I With The Problems. It seemed like people there obsessed over the need to conquer feelings of lust, to the point that men and women serving in the same ministry weren’t allowed to date each other; someone I knew there recommended to me a book by someone who actually wrote that dating couples shouldn’t spend more than 2.5 hours per week alone together before they were engaged, to prevent lust from taking over, and that they shouldn’t sleep together until they were married for six months in order to build emotional intimacy; and we had extensive Bible studies discussing exactly at what hour of the night a single man would have to leave a single woman’s house so that people wouldn’t see him there late at night and assume that they were sleeping together. I’m not by any means defending anything that this jerk said; it just makes me wonder if he isn’t intending to be a bully, but this might just be the way he was raised.

    1. This is such an eye opening perspective. thank you so much for sharing this. you’re right, I don’t know the back story and where this person is coming from. I really should pray for this person – which is so much easier said than done haha. thanks for stopping by and for this shift in perspective! big hugs xox

      1. It should also be noted that a lot of people like this whom I’ve encountered over the years feel such a need to call out other Christians who they think aren’t as pure-minded as them that this takes precedence over any rules of tact or acting appropriately. The Bible does say to confront brothers and sisters in sin, but I don’t think that necessarily means pompously making assumptions about people you barely know.

        For example, when I was 34, I had a 48-year-old roommate (not really someone I knew well, not really someone I was close friends with, but we did go to the same church, that’s how we found each other as roommates) who had this kind of mentality. One day he sat me down, explained that he noticed I hadn’t slept at home twice that week, assumed that I must have been sleeping with the girl he’d seen me hanging out with, and then he proceeds to lecture me about purity like I’m one of the high school kids that he led a Bible study for. He went on and on about where Paul says that there must not be a hint of immorality, about how people will get the wrong idea about me, and about how this couple we both knew who didn’t say I love you until the day he proposed and didn’t kiss until their wedding day are the kind of purity that all Christians should seek to emulate. A normal person would have minded their own business, or at most gone to one of our close mutual friends and asked if there was anything going on that I might need to talk about, rather than make assumptions and treat me like a kid.

        For the record, one of the nights that didn’t come home had nothing to do with the girl, and the other time I had slept on her couch. We were hanging out on Saturday, I was giving her a ride to her church on Sunday because she couldn’t drive at the time, and for me to have gone home in between would have accomplished nothing except wasting two gallons of gas and an hour of sleep. I may have written about this in my blog, now that I think about it.

      2. yeah, assumptions are so dangerous. they do nothing but hurt people. it’s always so hurtful when people jump to conclusions without knowing the whole story.

  36. You go, girl! Don’t let the haters stop you from doing what you’ve been called to do, especially since it’s helping other people and honoring God!

  37. I enjoy reading your blog; it gives me perspective on the lives of people different than me, yet very much the same. Opinions seem to matter more than convictions in our changing culture. No one wants to die for opinions, yet many have for their convictions. That is what makes the difference between feelings & faith. When I read your material I see someone who had been lied to & found the truth. I enjoy seeing your smiling face & comical animated pics. Don’t let anyone stop you from making the world a brighter place.

  38. OMG, you’re so brave! People can be completely rude, insensitive, and ignorant. I’m glad you’re able to share and be positive even when other people aren’t as understanding or empathetic! Love the positivity.

  39. This was a pretty good blog. I’m so proud of the way you handled the situation. What that person did could have been more of a way to sabotage your success as a blogger and infuse you with doubt or tried to intimidate you to shut you up. You were level headed, direct, and above all: graceful!

  40. Lust after you? Impossible. There is a purity to your femininity that inspires true and complete love. I don’t know to express it. But you share yourself so fully that a deep and complete love is the only authentic response. I know you are just a good old human type woman, but WOW, just wow.

  41. Beauty, my dear, bullies are people with the strangest addictions of all and possibly the hardest to cure. It’s called anger and it may be caused by many things. It goes so deep, they themselves can’t tell what’s wrong. Recovering bullies are probably the most courageous of all addicts – imagine how must it be not only to forgive the garbage in your life causing it, but to forgive yourself for being that angry as to deeply hurt other people. Very hard indeed. So have love for them, if nothing else. This being said, everything happens for a reason at any given time. You alone can figure out why this email came now – is there something you need to heal inside you or others? Or maybe not you, but someone who is reading just this post and the comments? God knows. I’m looking forward to your post in reply to other questions about anorexia. I have no idea what causes this and what kind of insecurities you faced. Love from Canada, always.

    1. thank you so much for this encouragement. you’re so right, bullies are working through their own things. I need to have love for them and pray for them – which is much easier said than done. thanks for the support from Canada!! 🙂 big hugs to you xo

  42. Your story is truly inspiring to a lot dear. There is no lust in your words, its only in those hearts that think in that way. You truly are a star who have fought so many odds and still standing here, bringing up all your thoughts and emotions as an example for others to learn. Thank you for your beautiful words.

  43. Thank you for sharing your heart, and for your willingness to open yourself up in order to help people who are still locked inside. Can you give parents a “watch for” list of things that they should be aware of that may be signs of ED in their son or daughter? Or perhaps some things that someone who loves a person suffering from this disease can say that would be encouraging, loving, uplifting, and open the door to communication?

    1. Thanks so much for your kindness. Absolutely. Those are such great questions and I will answer them in depth in next week’s post! Sending such big hugs and love xox

  44. There are many, including me that appreciate you and your blog. Some people are discontent and unhappy and project this on to others. Stay true to your vision for your blog and yourself! You are a blessing! Hugs!

  45. You are doing the right thing with your blog, and it’s a brave thing to do to put yourself out here like this. Thank you for all that you do!

  46. Between this email, and a few other responses you’ve shared in the past few weeks, it seems you may be experiencing some discouragement about this blog. I haven’t been able to post anything on mine (I hope to do so again soon), but I have been reading yours. I can only say this means you have to stay focused and press forward. I hope your book gets published. And, as a woman, mom of an almost 20 year old daughter, and future counselor, I value the information you share on the real struggles of anorexia and overcoming it. Perhaps one day I will need your perspective in counseling a teenager who may be struggling with this very issue. Stay strong!

    1. Thanks Melissa. I really appreciate your uplifting words. It seriously means so much. And what an incredible and important line of work you’re going into. That is a gift you’re giving with your life. Know that you and your career will be in my prayers! Hugs and love xox

  47. Keep sharing your beautiful, broken story, and let the haters hate. Because they’re always going to be there. You are an inspiration and an encouragement in so many ways. God bless you for your transparency and authenticity.

  48. I hope you didn’t take any of what was said by this person personally, as it truly was not and had nothing to do with you. It was their stuff. One of the biggest and best lessons I’ve learned is not to take things personally either way, positive or negative. If someone tells me something like their life has been turned around because of me as their therapist, I don’t personalize that either. Basically something happened that made that person decide to do what they needed to do to make what changes were necessary. It wasn’t about me. Helps to keep the ego in check. Just like what this person said to you it so was not about you, totally that person’s stuff. The Four Agreements, this book changed my life helped me put a lot into perspective.

    1. Thanks so much Tammi. That’s such great advice- to not take anything personally either way. You’re right on the money – just gotta brush it off. Thanks for the encouragement and support. Means a lot. Big hugs xox

  49. There are days when the big brother in me wants to do something retaliatory. I’d love to spend a few minutes with whomever insulted your character. Jerk.

    1. aw, thanks Anthony. I really appreciate that you’ve got my back! And as the kid sister of two great older brothers, I know what you mean, and i appreciate it! 🙂 big hugs xox

  50. I am so sorry you had to endure that email. I have another friend of that had the same thing happen to her this past fall. It is sickening and discussing. You are in my prayers. Keep up the good work, for you are correct, often we are allowed to go through experiences so that God can use us to help others.
    Blessings to you and yours
    Pastor Lester

    1. thanks Pastor Lester. you’re right, it really is sad. Thanks for your prayers. Yes! God can transform and use anything for good! thanks for stopping by! big hugs xo

  51. I love and look forward to all of your blogs. You are an amazing writer and a Christian which is so important. So important. You are extremely talented and so glad as painful as,life has been with anorexia and stuff,you are alive today to share your story and be able to help others who are going down that path,especially the young people out there. Starts way too early now.

    Thank you!!!

    Katie Carson

    Get Outlook for Android

    ________________________________

    1. aw, Katie, thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement! i am so touched and humbled by your generous words. God is good! and you’re right – it starts way way too early. sending big hugs xox

  52. Can you put up the link to the lusty, tempting posts of your blog(?) because I missed those, LOL, I’m sorry. I feel bad joking about it but, it is hilarious someone found that in your blog. I appreciate the topics you cover with such an open dialog, this post will be no different. :):) You are telling your story, and that by far helps more people than you know 🙂

  53. Your strength is inspiring. I will never understand how we can slip and make such superficial and blatantly erroneous judgments of others when we claim to follow a certain religious tradition in which judgement is reserved for the One who comprehends ALL information and is, therefore, solely capable of perfect, merciful, and just judgement. On another note, as a father of a young girl growing much to fast into a young woman, your effort to share your experience is sincerely appreciated.

    1. thank you so much friend. i am so grateful for your kind and generous words. You’re so right – I’ve got to take that advice and leave the judging up to Him! will definitely keep and your daughter in my prayers! sounds like you’re a great dad 🙂 hugs x

      1. you are too kind, thank you. (out of an abundance of caution, of course, i was referring to the goofball, bless his heart, who did the judging). i can say ‘goofball’ because i learned living in the southern US, one can say anything about another so, long as one follows what was said with, “bless their heart.”

  54. I admire a woman, or anyone for that matter, who can be open with their feelings and strife. It instantly makes them credible, not only as a witness, but as an authority as well.

    The biggest problem I’ve had with overcoming pain or any form of antagonism has been being left feeling like the enduring of a trial leaves you withered and less resilient. Only because you find yourself needing more from others than needing more from yourself. As a result, that’s where a lot of insecurities come from. Not easy to be objectively critical of yourself and expect to achieve progress, let me tell you.

    What I admire about you most is how you’ve turned your mess into a message… A trial meant to bully you has actually built you instead. I love it. Absolutely. More to the point, you use it to encourage others in their fights… their wars… whatever they may be.

    Great read, as always!

    1. Hey Kevin, thank you so much for this thoughtful response. you’re so right – insecurities are powerful forces to be reckoned with. Thanks for your support and encouragement. means the world. big hugs xox

  55. Well, my love, as a doctor and much more importantly a Christian and friend/sister, I love you and am ever increasingly proud that you have the courage to voice that which silence strengthens, thus helping others and ensuring your path never returns to the secret cave of despair God rescued you from on purpose in love. What anyone says does not matter, that you obey with a humble heart of love matters ridiculously and eternally much and you will be rewarded for that. Love you as always. Hugs, beautiful! ❤

    1. Oh my gosh Tonya, thank you so much. I am so touched and humbled by your kind and generous words. You’re so right – God really did rescue me and for that I am forever grateful. God is good. Thanks for the encouragement. Big hugs xox

  56. Thank you posting about your personal experience with ED. I have a cousin who is 13 and is just about to get out of a rehab center. Thank God she didn’t need to be tube some girls aren’t so lucky. You really gave me insight to how she must feel. I’ve felt helpless in helping her. The thing I do is write every week and hope she reads my letters. I get hers every other weeks but thank you for shedding light on how she must feel. I feel so much more compassion now ❤️

    1. Thank you so much for sharing that. I’m so sorry to hear that this hits so close to home with you. I will definitely keep her and you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. I know those letters meant a lot to her. Sending so much love and hugs xox

  57. Thank you again for sharing your heart with people you have never met and would not know if they passed you on the sidewalk. I appreciate you. I am proud of how you handle your recovery in reaching out to others in need. Keep up the good work.

  58. Henry Rollins said, ‘Weakness is what brings ignorance, cheapness, racism, homophobia, desperation, cruelty, brutality, all these things that will keep a society chained to the ground, one foot nailed to the floor’. I love the way you handled this Caralyn, with dignity and self-respect. Your website is an inspiration and so are you.

  59. morning sunshine…I want to encourage you to keep on doing good (Gal.6:9). Whenever Truth goes out, the devil tries to steal it and Jesus says that there will be many that do not understand it (Matt. 13). He has granted you the mysteries of the kingdom, where you have walked and what you have been through and Whom you have seen, is precious and a testimony that will stand against weightless words. Keep going… keep sharing…keep doing good. much love and many blessings..

  60. Byron Katie tells her view on those people who criticize her. She thanks them for their opinion and then leans into the person to ask them to continue and say what they see in her. She tells them that she’s not always aware of how she projects herself because she’s too close. Can’t see the forest for the trees…I guess. She asks the person to get really detailed and honest and then thanks them. Maybe two things could happen. 1. You get a point of view that may or may not have a smidgen of truth. Something to look at. 2. You might get a chance to have a real conversation with that person where he could learn something that would change his mind or be useful to him? Anyway…Byron Katie…great lady.

  61. You share your vulnerability and story with love and truth. A harsh reflection is their own reflection in the mirror and not about you my love. Brene Brown and President Roosevelt’s ‘Arena’ speech are in this moment. ‘If you are not in the arena, your feedback is irrelevant’ <3 xXx

    1. Hi Jane, thank you so much for this. If you are not in the arena your feedback is irrelevant… wow that is a powerful quote! i haven’t heard that before. thanks for your encouragement. big hugs xox

  62. Exactly the same reason I share on my blog except I am still struggling with it and not over it YET, but I want to overcome it with the many people suffering from mental illnesses out there. I really wanna punch that person who sent you that email in the face (god stop me), that is just incredulous. Always love reading your blog! Haters gonna hate, potatoes gonna potate! Lol.

    1. Hi Faith, thanks for this encouragement. potatoes gonna potate! hahah that made me chuckle. Keep on sharing your story friend. the journey is long and sharing your path is going to help not only yourself, but others along the way 🙂 big hugs to you xx

  63. Please please please do not let that crazy woman dissuade you in anyway! I cannot imagine what she would have read that would put such ideas in her mind. What you write is authentic and helpful and so very brave. I enjoy every post I have ever read and I hope that you will continue to do it. You are helping so many people whether they have Eating Disorders or not. Thank you for listening to God’s prompting.

    1. thank you so much Christine, I really appreciate your kind words. I am so encouraged. thank you with all my heart. God is good, and I just want to share His light. Sending massive hugs to you xox

  64. Caralyn,

    You’re beautiful. It’s apparent you’ve been through a lot. It looks like based on these comments here, you have a good support system through MOST of your readers! I didn’t see any negative comments out in the open, so obviously that person does want to hide and be a coward behind the screen! Keep doing you, boo! 🙂 And thanks for following my blog! I really think we are very similar! Xoxo 😘

    1. hi friend, thank you so much for your encouragement. i have been filled with so much gratitude today, after reading these generous notes of kindness. i can’t thank you enough. sending massive hugs x

  65. It’s truly a shame that people have to try to tear down what God is building up. It happens to me from time to time but no one, not even the worst of the worst, can tell me worse things about me than I have told myself in the past. I’ve heard it from the biggest enemy I’ve ever faced and am managing, in spite of what some trolls and bullies like to dish out, to overcome the obstacle I refer to as me.

    You are doing a great job with this blog and your message reaches beyond your eating disorder.

    Remember, if you don’t face opposition, you aren’t blazing your own trail.

    1. thanks so much Mike, yeah it’s really sad. we should try to build others up, not tear them down. Thanks for this encouragement. yes! we’ve gotta keep blazing those trails 🙂 big hugs to you xox

  66. “I have always been a believer that God uses everything for good. No suffering is ever wasted, because eventually, it will be used to help another person.”
    I identify with it, the mercy of God when is present transform also our darkness into fuel, “wood that can be burned to bake bread.”

    As you know, freedom is beautiful because it allows everyone to have their opinion and can share it, and others have the freedom to accept or reject it.
    As we know, there is no privacy on the internet. This is an open and public global territory. So it is up to each individual navigator to set boundaries for himself and others for which waters and depths he wants to travel.

    But I suggest, if good is a choice, put yourself under the guardianship of the Lord Jesus, for to us the sea is vast and deep, harboring darkness and light, and only the Lord can walk on the waters.

    1. thank you so much for this, Carlos. Yes, the mercy of God is powerful. and wow, I love that quote about the bread. so true! thanks for your encouragement. you’re right – gotta keep myself under His guardianship. thanks for stopping by. big hugs xox

    2. Ps. So it is up to each individual navigator to set limits for himself, for others, and for what waters and depths he wants travel.

  67. It’s such a shame that people feel this desire to say mean things. Fear of mean people was what held me back from blogging for such a long time. You are making a difference and it’s sad that “some” people can’t see that. xo-Amy

  68. So sorry you had to get an email like that!!! And I believe the Lord is using you and your story to help so many people. 💜 He loves you, always remember that!

  69. I agree, the person who made the accusations was not reacting to the spirit or attitude that you portray; rather they were reacting from their own struggles. If I were in your shoes I would be struggling with anger and vengeance, and I encourage you to stoop down and minister to your accuser rather than throwing stones back (Not that I think you are; again, my struggle). Keep the faith!

    1. thank you so much for your kind words. You’re so right – I need to love and pray for this person…which is a lot easier said than done! hah. thanks for the encouragement. big hugs xo

  70. Well if you wanted to entice men to lust after you, I am sure you could find a topic more conducive to that. Your recovery after an ED? that is what is hot now? Ya….I think someone out there has some issues that they need to see after. I have never had an ED but the way God speaks to you in your every day life is something that connects with my spirit. Keep on keeping on….. you are encouraging many through your willingness to share your experiences and how God is teaching you through them.

    1. haha, thanks Cheryl. Yeah, that’s what I was thinking too. Bit of a disconnect. And thanks for your kind words about my blog. I’m so glad that it hits home with you. God is good! sending big hugs xox

  71. Life is so funny and people respond in the strangest of ways to the way we communicate. The biblical example of Lot in Sodom explains something fundamental. The visitors to the city did nothing to provoke the lust of others, they just had to be there. It was a reason for the residents to show how they felt.
    We same the same politically – people are on the streets and sending horrendous emails and tweets to each other because they feel aggrieved when nothing threatens them.
    So when someone imputes wrong motives it is their problem. We can choose to be offended or hurt, we can also choose to make the comment count. The best response is always to understand that the problem lies with the other person.
    Your blog helps many, your life experience reminds so many of us that we can recover and regain our personal identity. Those who have met me in the last 3 years know me as someone who has recovered from cancer, now living with a deteriorating heart problem and define me as such. But like you we are more than others see.
    Use this as your platform, focus on recovery and dignity but most of all learn to smile at the incorrigibility of those how lack perception and need to have their say.
    As my Grandmother said: Everyone can have an opinion but it doesn’t give them the right to share it and you’re not obliged to listen.
    I love the the blog

    1. thank you so much friend. This is such a beautiful encouragement. I love that quote from your grandmother – we’re not obliged to listen. gotta keep focused on the good! big hugs xo

  72. Whoever it was, love and pray for them and wish them well. Hard to do. But I think we will receive the great peace of God if we can show mercy towards others who may not understand us or who ‘strike’ at our intentions to do good. Keep writing! Your story needs to be told!

  73. We men are sometimes odd, repressed creatures. I apologize on behalf of my entire gender 😉 Seriously, people who lash out at others are ALWAYS motivated by insecurities they have with themselves. Let it roll off like water off a duck, and pity your critics. They come from a place of pain and desperation, of feeling like they have no voice or power, so they try to exert power through trying to cause others pain. Ignore their ignorance!

    P.S. Just wanted to make a word nerd suggestion, since I am indeed a word nerd! You use the word “insipid” but I think you might have mean “insidious,” based on the context of the sentence. Just a suggestion! Thanks again for another great post!

    1. Thanks so much Anthony. I really appreciate your kind words! Yes! Gotta let it roll off! And hah I think you’re right about that word choice! Hehe Hugs and love xox

  74. There seems to be a strange perception that genuine suffering/strength/purpose/faith has to look a certain way, and for some reason that look can’t be attractive. This seems to connect to your post a few weeks ago about the woman who expressed that your size wasn’t ok with her perception of representing recovery from anorexia. You are really beautiful, but more than that you are attractive in a positive and light-filled way – and you’re very clear about who you are and why. I’m sorry that people aren’t willing to accept that just like everything else in life, genuine suffering/strength/purpose/faith does not have a one-size fits all, and it doesn’t have to not be pretty. It’s not pretty OR, it’s pretty AND. Thanks for sharing your story and your faith and for breaking down false perceptions!

    1. If i found my daughter is secretly exercising or lying what she eats, what should we do.

      As a parent, can u also list out or give us some advices what we can do to help our children with this disease. For example, some do and dont

    2. Hi Britin, thank you so much for this affirming reply. You’re so right – everyone’s recovery looks different. And however it looks is okay! Because we’re on the path 🙂 this was a powerful perspective that j needed to hear. Thanks again. Hugs and love xox

  75. You have a calling … you are serving others by telling your story … you are to admired for your bravery, your honesty, your sincerity, and your willingness to put yourself out there no matter what !! I refuse to even discuss the individual you encountered … or any others of their ilk. It’s a waste of time.

    I CELEBRATE YOU and SUPPORT YOU in your CALLING. jan

    1. Oh my gosh Jan, this brought a tear to my eye. Thank you so much. I am seriously so touched by your generous and kind words. You are a blessing to me. Hugs and love xox

  76. Ridiculous!!! She obviously has her own issues which cloud her eyes to the beauty of your honesty! Keep on lovely soldier!!! You are making a difference!❤️

  77. Carolynn,
    Hope that I spelled your name correctly. 🙂
    I commend you for your nobility and respect. Instead of lashing out in a negative way, you showed humility, honor, and grace. In my opinion, you were an example of what Christ told us to be.
    Second, I cannot wrap my head around anyone saying that your blogs are used to tempt men, to cause them to lust after you. You don’t post anything pornographic, or use flirtatious words, or anything remotely close to tempting men. It is okay for someone feels empathy or pity for what you went through, but anyone who reads your blogs should be able to feel the genuine emotion within your words. Feel the genuine concern, passion, and desire to help others.
    Granted, I have not read every single one of your posts, but even if I only read one which is not the case, your words I feel were given to you by God. He inspired you to write what you write and that cannot be a temptation as God does not tempt us or cause or inspire us to tempt others. Your blogs have helped me in moments that I needed it. I still struggle in some ways with my eating disorder but knowing that God has placed you in my life even through just blogs gives me hope and I’m sure others. I do not feel alone in my struggle.
    God Bless you and keep fighting the good fight and never let anyone beat you down.
    Love, Tiffany

    1. Hi Tiffany! Oh my gosh thank you so much for this beautiful affirmation. I am seriously so touched and humbled by your generous and kind words. I’m so glad that my blog has resonated with your spirit. God is good and I thank Him for the healing in my life. Thanks again friend. You are a blessing to me. 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  78. In so sorry that someone emailed you that foolishness. Unfortunately, it comes with the territory of having almost 30,000 followers! In so happy for you and you have so many followers because so many people connect to you and your story. Those two or three of 200 delusional people are always going to come creeping out of the woodwork to try to hinder your calling. Don’t let them and don’t let them discourage you in any way. Your blog is my favorite and that’s because you’re so real, relatable, God loving, and hilarious! I’ve never had ED or been through many of your experiences, but at some point pain is pain, and joy is joy, and learning is learning. So, my girl, you’re reaching far more people with positivity and hope with your blog than you probably ever imagined. So keep it up and keep it moving when people come with the foolery.

    Btw, I love that you said “clap back!” 😂😂😂 I’m off to read that post now!

    1. Wow, Celestial! you’re on a reading roll! thanks so much! you’re so right, i have to just brush it off, keep on moving, and stay focused on Jesus. Because His is the only opinion that matters at the end of the day. Thanks again for all your encouragement and wisdom. You’re a blessing to me! big hugs x

  79. When I was reading what that person said in the email my brain was like “What what what?” How on earth? Just like, what? LOL There is no way any sane person can get THAT out of your blog and posts and if any man IS attracted to you through your blog I believe it’s because or would be because of your insight, intelligence and above all your love for God.. This person was SO off the mark and sounds like they have some issue’s they could use much prayer for.. Sending my love … Robyn

    1. thanks so much Robyn! yeah that was pretty much my same reaction. I was like, huh??? Thanks for your kind words. Yeah, you’re right, i need to pray for this person, which is a lot easier said than done! haha big hugs to you xo

  80. Blogging opens us to the criticism of others. Some comment and disagree with us respectfully and with civility. Others…not so much.

    I’m sorry this person misunderstood your intents and chose to judge you.

    We are told to gently restore a brother (or sister) we see in sin. It’s almost impossible to do this via text, Facebook, or email. And often, if not always, when we type a judgmental accusation we ourselves are in sin.

    Your story and the way in which you share it clearly glorifies God and helps others heal. Keep it up.

    1. thanks for this thoughtful reflection, Kathleen. you’re right – when we put ourselves out there, we are opening up the feedback, both good and bad.thanks for your kind words. big hugs xox

  81. Do you know what an “internet troll” is? Don’t feed the trolls! In other words, don’t let those kind of people, people who want a fight, get one. They want to see a response happen. Girl, you don’t need that shit.

    Temptress my butt. Just move on as if your didn’t read that email.

    1. Thanks Stiina. Yeah a troll is such an accurate word for what it is. You’re right – I don’t need it! Just gotta brush it off. Thanks for stopping by and for your encouragement. Hugs and love xox

  82. As cliché as it sounds, when people come at you in a ridiculous way that only means you are doing something right. I completely agree that God uses us to help others out of their dark places ,the enemy knows this..someone is going to get delivered from your testimony and he is mad! Keep sharing!

  83. xx you’re great and your blog has helped me and given me hope, inspiration and support and helped me understand and find compassion for myself xx thanks for all your words 🙂 Em

  84. Lordy. Lordy. Lordy. Please pray for the fool. Obviously, that individual is feeling tremendously inadequate and is projecting their insecurities onto you rather than dealing with them by his ol’ self. He is not your issue and you shouldn’t internalize his problems. Nuns get raped, and the rapist’s excuse could be “her habit blew in the wind revealing her leg.” Women who wear burkas get raped and are faulted for the assault on them. Seriously?! Your faith is between you and God, the Almighty. What, has he been given the Book of the Devine Readings of the Human Mind that allows him to know what is in the breast of men? (Sarcasm) Let that inadequate humanoid go and get on with your life. God has a plan for you. Embrace it. Love it. Share it. Yours UH, xoxo

    1. Thanks friend. You’re right, I need to pray for this person, which is easier said than done. Lots of powerful food for thought here. I know it’s so sad. And you’re right – God does have a plan! Amen! Hugs and love xox

  85. *shaking head in dismay*
    It’s crazy how crazy people are at times!

    And you know what, you don’t even have to defend yourself. Your work, your writing speaks of who you are.
    It’s clear what your passion is.
    So just remember, for every person you meet who doesn’t understand what you are about there are a dozen other people who understand and are cheering you on! 😁

    Bless you

    Rolain

  86. Huh? What the what? Is she reading the same blog as the rest of us? Sometimes we can twist things to try and see where a person is coming from, but I got nothing. It’s definitely something within her that she has to work out. Maybe you remind her of someone, maybe she has something else going on, but, it is about her, not you.

  87. Many years ago I noticed that whenever someone says something to you about someone other than themselves, good or bad, you learn more about the person speaking than the one they are speaking about – even if it is you. I am so impressed by how you have dealt with this and am sure you have come out of it stronger.
    For those who love God all things work together for good. This chap gave you, if nothing else, the chance which you have taken to live out Jesus’ words, ‘Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you.’ But there is much else – I have read through these comments and what amazing love and support is there. That will surprise no-one except possibly yourself. Keep up your good work! 🙂 (Wow! it worked! I’ve never used an emoticon before & don’t know how, but copied it from above)

    1. Thanks so much for this powerful reflection Anthony. You’re so right – He works ALL things together for good. Thanks for your encouragement. It really means a lot. And so true – gotta love and pray for this person. Hah nice emoji!! 😄 Hugs and love xox

  88. I’m sorry to hear that you were attacked that way. As I’m sure that you know intellectually, the attack says more about the other person than it does you, but I know the heart often feels differently. Sounds like you’ve used this experience to inspire and invigorate—that’s great! Best wishes to you!!

  89. I think it’s wonderful that you’re sharing your story and somewhere someone will be helped. Ignore the trolls. Just delete them and don’t give them two thoughts. Life is too short. 😀

  90. Im so sorry that happened! Know that you are supportive of many and your honesty is inspiring. Keep doing what you’re doing. Hugs to you! ❤️

  91. Some posts might be written as a result of a catalyst we might not choose…like a not-so-nice letter from a misguided reader….and for that reason, am thankful for your response to the reader’s letter. Your post is passionate and inspiring and clarifies your calling with this blog. Love how good can come from not so great and so appreciate your heart! (Romans 8 <3)

  92. Beautiful post. You will meet mean people in life but this virtual world has given them access to be even a worse experience. Keep being yourself. They are just jelly that you had the strength to face reality of life. I admire you for opening up. I’m trying to do the same as you.

  93. As long as you are doing what God wants you to do, you don’t need to justify it to anyone else. That’s between you and God. People dont understand as we walk by the spirit and NOT by the flesh. There is always an enemy trying to tear us down, whether that is through distractions, hurtful words, or other people, but remember you have the spirit of God and can fight back! Put on that armor and keep fighting the good fight! 🙏💗

  94. That is the saddest thing I have ever heard! You have shared your story, your storms, your light, your faith, your family, your opinions. You have shared YOU!! There isn’t anything temptress-like about that!! Hugs, light, and love!! That was just a hater!! xoxoxo

  95. Okay I’m going to be frank with you even though my name is Anthony. But seriously Frank is my middle name and that is not a joke. First of all the person or persons that sent you the disgusting email need prayer. Their objectives as believers aren’t where they should be don’t judge them based on their email pray for them. Remember take no vengeance for yourselves. I’m going to be totally honest with you. When he brought up the issue of lust I didn’t know what he was talking about because you are good looking but I’m not going to lust after you because that’s not of God. Children of God weren’t created to lust after one another were created to love each other. Now I don’t always agree with your mom posts and we’ve had the knock-down drag-out fights that only Maury Povich can settle but in the end is your blog not Anthony’s blog and even though I don’t necessarily like every bit of your content I can still appreciate what you do. I believe your purpose for the blog is Meaningful. Don’t ever stop with the blog because remember the pen is mightier than the sword. 😉. PostScript there are some post I don’t like but I don’t argue with you about it. In case anybody is wondering who’s ever reading this comment right now I’m not the person that sent that email sometimes though people have different opinions and that’s okay because we all have different perspectives story can be told from many different angles. Even though I might not agree with everything you write in your bong I’ve grown to appreciate your writing.

    1. Thanks so much for your support Anthony. You’re so right, I need to pray for this person – easier said than done. But you’re right I need to rise above and just brush it out. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

  96. Some folks are just so unhappy, and they can’t fix it. Instead they go about seeking to “fix” others. Consider the source. This source is a punk hiding on the web. Hit delete and keep your lovely life moving. You are a powerhouse and don’t you forget it.

  97. Yikes🤦‍♂️…ignorance is an understatement for this person…praying much for them, whoever he/she is.

    First off, from a man’s perspective, no word or picture that you’ve posted has ever made me “lust after you”, Caralyn. If anybody feels that way, then the issue is on their end.

    Secondly, as a husband and the father of two daughters, your story and testimony are particularly inspiring to me, because I work hard to affirm in my wife and daughters that they are beautiful both in God’s eyes and in mine. Your testimony is extremely relevant in a culture where so many women are struggling with their image and self-esteem.

    Don’t be sidetracked by this…you are an encouragement to women, and to the men that love them!

    1. Thanks so much Wayne. I appreciate your support and encouragement. You’re right – I need to pray for this person too, which is easier said than done! Hah It sounds like you’re a great father! Thanks for the kindness. Hugs and love xox

  98. You owe no one explanations as to your true motives for writing your blog. Remember that God sees our heart and He is the only one we need to answer to. With that said, you have a beautiful blog and I truly believe you have a calling. There are many young girls out there unhappy with their bodies and have a low self image. Thank you, Thank you, for helping others with your story. And as a mom to young adults, one being a daughter, thank you for shedding light into your parents side as well. KEEP DOING what you’re doing!!! You are truly beautiful inside and out!

    1. Thanks so much friend. I really appreciate your support and encouragement. That is my deepest prayer: that even one of those young girls could find hope and positivity here. Thanks for the affirming words. Sending big big hugs xox

  99. We all have issues. Some people try to understand and get past them, others just let them sit there … like embers in a fire. Steer clear! Too hot! 🙄

  100. As another stated in a comment – YOU owe nobody an explanation – Just “Do You and BE You” and let God sort out the rest! As far as the person who sent you that email – he probably got what he wanted out of you and that was a rebuttal response. He was just lusting after you himself and knew deep down that he could never have you. People need to hear what you have to say – if nothing else other than there is recovery to be had. As far as the “others” – they can see how strong people can be IF they put their mind to it!!! Lotsa Love, Hope and Prayers – Keep the Faith

      1. You know – I got to thinking more on the “lust” issue and maybe there is some validity to what that guy was saying – or at least thinking lol – Hear me out first……… What more could one want in a mate or a relationship or even a friend than a real person who has experienced failure and success. A real person who has strived for something and had the tenacity to finally obtain the prize. Secondly, someone who has a deep connection to their spiritual wellbeing and a love for God and someone who has a heart for others and willing to share their life experiences with others to possibly help them overcome whatever may be holding them down. You have put your life out there for all to see and your true “Beauty –Beyond- Bones” shines through. Obviously you have a beautiful interior as well as exterior – there is so much more to you than meets the eye and just maybe that is what makes you that much more attractive. A pure heart, mind, body and soul. Again, you have no reason to explain your actions to others – keep doing what you do and follow your heart. Only you and God know your true intentions and you cannot help what others think or the way that they take certain perspectives.

      2. Thanks again. I am humbled by such kind words. What a powerful perspective. You’re right – God is who I’m accountable to. Hugs and love xox

  101. Sin takes the appreciation of beauty and changes it into lust – the sin is not committed by the person who is beautiful but by the person who gives into lust. Self-control leads us to look away when it is too much and over time God transforming power allows us to look again and see only the beauty that God has created. There are things on the internet targeted at making men (woman) lust, this site seems to be lacking that component so it must be an issue of perception through the eyes of sin that is causing men to lust and God telling them to look away to avoid the sinful thoughts. We all have weaknesses in one area or another – we all are “recovering from something”

  102. Bless you and all you’ve gone through! Know you are not alone; I’m so glad you found help!! Thank YOU for “liking” my blog post so that I found YOU! Yes, kindness is ALWAYS the right direction to all you meet; no one knows what it is like to walk in another’s shoes! <3

  103. Ouch! The guy’s words are indeed hurtful. Obviously, he’s mistaken. Fortunately, people’s opinion of us does not define us. Not with an identity rooted in Jesus Christ, which I believe yours is. You are helping others with your story. Keep it up!

  104. Some folk read through their own twisted filters and see what they want to see. If they then troll about it it can be upsetting but you’re right, the majority of internet users ARE better than that and so very many of your readers aren’t coming here to judge or berate you but to share in your journey and learn more about your world. Keep on being you. X

  105. I have no idea how many guys read your blog. But I am one that does. There have been times I have agreed with you, cheered with you, and, yep, rarely, decided I wasn’t enjoying the post and stopped reading. I expect the same thing happens with those who read mine as well.

    But kid, though you are truly gorgeous (and there is no denying that) NOT once, ever, even a little has there be anything to indicate “Oooo hey boys LUST after me!” (I really think that would entail at least a bit of nudity, but what do I know.)

    There are truly people who are dumbasses, and who want to prey on those who have big hearts. If I had a daughter, I would want her to read this, and learn from you. I don’t share your beliefs. but I truly believe you are one of the kindest most caring individuals I ‘know’. PLUS you are a damn sight tougher than any troll!

    Stick to who your are, and write your blog the way you want! Take care!

    1. Hey Tony, wow I am seriously so touched by your generous and kind words. Thank you. You’re right- I’ve gotta just be me and brush off the opinions of others! Thanks again friend. Hugs x

  106. Don’t let someone like that get to you. We all experience a naive and ignorant person who writes something negative. Just let their comments roll off you and move forward. Life is really too short to give them the time of day. Just peruse all the comments from the other bloggers out there who you inspire and let that fuel you to continue your plight. Stay strong Caralyn!

  107. The writer of that email was a coward and completely wrong. Keep doing what you’re doing! You’re doing what God has for you and the writer of that email is under the influence of the evil one

  108. Hi Caralyn,

    Kind of a late response – I was at Kids Camp last week (amazing time, no sleep but GREAT kids).

    I think I’ve told you – and here it is if not – that I run a Pure Desire group for sexually addicted men. It’s estimated that 65% of men have a problem in the area and the internet has made things far worse. Men, who have a particular problem with eye-gate (arousal by what they see), have been taught – indeed URGED – to view women as objects. Porn is not a victimless crime as its purveyors so loudly proclaim. It slowly kills the people who view it, their marriages/relationships and certainly its stars and performers (because that’s what it is.

    No doubt the person who called you this is in trouble this way. Your beauty – and you have a lot of beauty inside and out – can only tempt some people to think lurid thoughts. That’s the disease we battle in Pure Desire.

    But it means NOTHING about you except that you are indeed beautiful. Take it as that, please, and don’t even consider the accusation of your motives, which are amazing and redemptive. You have it going on, to cite the popular phrase, in the most powerful and personal way. I wish this didn’t make you a target, but it does.

    Please accept an apology in proxy from me, a guy who once had the same issues. You’re amazing, and God has has amazing things for you; you’ll see. Keep on in your work and communication, it’s literally saving lives, so never stop.

    Blessings,

    John

    1. Hi John, thank you so much for this powerful perspective. I’m so glad that the camp went well. I think it is so amazing the ministry you have helping men. What a gift you are giving to help them. So awesome. Thanks for the encouragement and support. Hugs and love xox

  109. I am so sorry this happened to you. Darkness is everywhere. Praying for your peace, comfort and protection.

  110. It takes practice in learning to see other peoples comments as a reflection of who they are inside, and nothing to do with your unique self.
    I support your journey of returning home to the knowledge of your authentic self.
    My wisdom is ever present as tools of guidance.
    Love and blessings…

  111. I took some time to respond because I found this bizarre. As a surrogate big brother, I wanted to rush to your defense. But I’m primarily a thinker, and here’s what I think happened. There’s a reason the “damsel in distress” is a popular motif in fairy tales and movies. There is an instinct in many men to want to slay dragons and rescue the princess, after which (we imagine) she will fall in love with him and they will live happily ever after. In modern times, there’s a new twist. The princess who does not wait for a man to be her hero. Wonder Woman exemplifies this. She slays the dragons herself and looks like Gal Gadot doing it. That also has a very strong appeal for men. And you are, in your own way, Wonder Woman. You have slain your dragons in your battle against ED. You have shown both strength and vulnerability because you have shared your struggles with complete authenticity. And you have come out of it looking great. I’m really not surprised that men find you appealing, so it’s not as bizarre as I thought at first. I’ve told you before, the character and strength you’ve developed make you more attractive, not less.
    However, if that attraction turns to arousal, which happens to everyone, some men don’t know how to handle that. Pardon me for getting explicit here, they think if they have an erection, it’s a sin, and they blame the woman for it. When Jesus said, “If a man looks upon a woman lustfully, he has committed adultery in his heart,” he didn’t mean it’s a sin to have an erection. He was telling men handling your lust is your responsibility, so don’t blame the woman for your arousal.
    I only point this out to say you’re a beautiful woman, inside and out. Some men might feel aroused even if you don’t intend to arouse them. That is their problem, not yours. They could just as easily be aroused reading how Adam and Eve were “naked and unashamed,” or the Song of Solomon. Do not let that change what you are doing one iota. Your 20,000+ followers are not following because we lust after you. It’s because your honesty and openness is helping us with our struggles in recovery from ED or depression or whatever dragons we have to fight.

    1. Hi David, thank you so much for your thought response. I am humbled by your Wonder Woman comparison. Thank you. Lots of powerful food for thought here. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

  112. It was probably your bravery to joke about “any available bachelors out there…???” But, I wouldn’t know. I’m not one to talk. I’m a bully. All men are bullies. That’s why women like them. Or else they aren’t men. Every man wants to play The Taming of the Shrew. All women are wily, crafty, conniving, and cunning. They all want to play the temptress. You should take it as a compliment. These qualities why men want them. And no one wants to talk to a bully. They’d rather talk to his Delilah. And the woman needs a body guard, or strong, muscled helper like a Moses or Jacob. Now, whether she can trust him or not, well… I mean, was David even trustworthy by the end of his life? He locked his women all up as widows. A woman even got together with Cain after all that he did. Now, why? I’m no saint. I don’t want to be. I don’t even want to be Christian. That’s why I keep asking (and I should go away, really to just let you do your CHRistian thing), but, really, why ARE you a Christian? Beyond that he HEALED you. I guess I only write, because, yet again, like any good shrew, you are PROMISING…to answer questions (which you never really do because the questions are both too “probing” and “triggering.”)

  113. I loved this post!!!! Loved loved loved it! People can be so cruel. I really enjoyed your post. You’re honestly and sincerity was very refreshing. Thank you for sharing it. I hope others are able to learn from your experience and are able to be helped.

  114. The motive for this explanatory post, and evidently for your blog, is the very motive behind mine – that there’s nearly always so much more to consider than face value can suggest – so I appreciate this post all the more for its wide-open honesty and its conviction. Thank you for taking it upon yourself to be an inspirational, positive role model.

  115. I’m sure it’s very difficult to receive hurtful comments online. I’m sorry you have to go through that. I’m praying that God will give you the ability to forgive and pray for this person (if you haven’t already). That’s so tough to do in a situation like this, but it’s what we’re taught as children of god.

    Thanks inspiring so many with your story.

    1. thanks so much Erin, i really appreciate your prayers and encouragement. you’re right – i need to pray for this person — easier said than done, but it’s what Jesus would do. thanks for your kind words. big hugs xox

  116. It seems kind of crazy that someone would say that….but people often see what they want to see I guess, and sometimes that is a reflection of their own struggles.
    For me, I know I’ve said it, but God has used your blog in my life, and I am so grateful that you’ve shared such personal insight concerning ED.
    The first time I read your blog, I didn’t read a post that necessarily concerned your past, but you wrote from the heart and it was so clear that you loved Jesus that I had to read more. But once I got to your struggles, went back and read through your blog….it’s helped me communicate with my sister and understand what she’s gone through. You’ve given me the ability to actually aid the healing process, not send her backtracking. So thank you. 🙂 Not only that, but many other girls are encouraged and guided by what you’ve written.
    Shalom!
    Yael

    1. Hi Yael, gosh, thank you so much for such generous words about my blog. I’m so glad that it has hit home with you so personallyand has given you insight with your sister. That gets me chocked up to think about. know that you and your sister are in my heart and prayers. thanks again for sharing this with me. big hugs xox

  117. Thanks for liking my Video Post. Hopefully there will be more of those jokes to come.

    But I gotta say…this clearly is the most lustful blog on the internet. I mean…I’ve seen some “stuff” online…and yet I always come back to your blog! Maybe that person had a point. I think maybe you are just too beautiful. Stop being so beautiful! You’re making the rest of the lustful internet look bad! Ahahahahahah

    Sorry if my sarcasm was a bit creepy.

    Honestly I’m always struck by how beautiful you are in a very unlustful way, and as a married man I deeply appreciate that because its one reason I’m so attracted to my wife and its just hard to deal with sexualized women. And I’m not talking about the dangers of “lust” (which is of course a real problem) as much as practicality. By which I mean if you’re trying to be a good man, and you want to respect women and also want women to feel attractive and appreciated it can be awkward dealing with women day to day to wear their sex on their sleeves. You do not do that at all, and I think you are very attractive and I feel only a tiny tinge of “marital guilt” saying that. And it’s not real guilt its that chivalrous fake guilt husbands feel whenever they fear their queen is being slighted, but my wife’s endless beauty cannot be impugned by the beauty of another.

    I think your writing is good and important but if you sexualized yourself I wouldn’t feel comfortable visiting your site, let alone commenting or complimenting you. My wife uses this computer and I have accountability systems. But this probably won’t be the last time you’re accused of this nonsense. Because honestly you’re model beautiful, and that’s threatening. I actually figured that’s what you did for a living…wait do you model? I don’t remember. In any case tt seems like every woman I’ve ever met who struggles with eating disorders is very very beautiful. Which is sad but also probably part of beauty in this fallen world, it becomes so important and fear of losing what “makes you valuable” must be horrible. I’m very glad you’ve escaped that with God’s help. Being physically beautiful really is such a wonderful gift from God and it should be treasured not used as a weapon against ourselves or others, but we humans manage to screw up everything! In any case keep up the good work…not being beautiful, though that’s great, I mean keep up the good blogging.

    God Bless

    1. Hahah gosh thanks. I appreciate your kindness so much. Yeah, God has definitely be the source of my recovery. I owe it all to Him. And I need to just remember that He’s always got my back and knows my heart. Thanks again for your thoughtful response. Hugs x

      1. I was up all night writing, so maybe I laid it on a bit thick, sorry if it was uncomfortable, but I still stand by what I said, so you’re welcome. And yes praise God.

  118. Blarg…
    It drives me crazy how so many self-titled “Faithful Christians” are obsessed with sex to the point where they see nothing else. A pretty woman wearing a dress? She’s flaunting herself sexually. A teenaged boy going shirtless at the pool? He’s trying to get sex. Teenaged girls asking questions about birth control? Oh, what, why? Because you want to have sex? WHO ARE YOU TEMPTING, LITTLE DEMON?????

    Blech. I hate it. I hate it so much.

    Brush it off. You have an important story to share that could help lots of girls and women.

  119. Bullying is not cool and I hate it !! I am someone go went through a phase ( and still going through it ) I just felt empty useless and just super emotional and just wanna scream what is inside me and when the idea of a blog came to me it was like my own therapy where I just talk about topics and just do something and trying so hard to do a great job at it and me finding this blog just inspired me more to keep working on myself and just keep swimming

  120. “A beautiful woman is a happy woman.” (Audrey Hepburn) You look so pretty when you smile, and you should never let a catty, hateful low life demon like that “person” take one ounce of your joy! Keep shining and keep pushing your way through life! The best is yet to come!

  121. Sounds like that person needs to deal with things in their life, and seriously needs to read you blog posts properly
    That person are most likely a angry atheist, who dislike hearing or reading the truth about God’s love and help
    I did get told off on YouTube for my “wicked -evil” comment when I dared to suggest taking a problem to God!
    Continue to Shine your light of truth and share your struggle journey with all who you help and encourage

  122. My experience with romance is not typical in any way, so I don’t know how helpful my experience will be. All I know is decades of “putting myself out there” got me nowhere. I’ve never been good at striking up a conversation with women I meet. Hundreds of emails to women on online dating services went unanswered. The few I actually met in person never panned out. Trying to “attract a mate” and “believe God for a mate” led only to frustration and getting mad at God and thinking I was cursed.
    I decided to focus on writing, because obviously, love and marriage just weren’t going to work out for me. So when I saw her at a meeting of Christian Fiction Writers, I knew we had something in common. Two things, actually. We were writers, and faith in Christ was an important part of our lives and our writing. Knowing that made it easy to approach her, talk writing, and invite her for coffee and critiquing. We are now engaged. 🙂
    I don’t know how it will work out for you, but I believe it will. You certainly don’t need to go on the Bachelor for it, so good judgment there. Catfighting and backstabbing your way to a guy are not your style. The only advice I feel confident giving is don’t let well-meaning friends and family push you into something that doesn’t feel right to you, just to “put yourself out there.” I think I was ready for my soulmate because when I met her, I was doing something I felt good about. Participate in groups of people who share your deepest interests. That’s how you’re most likely to meet the right guy. And even if you don’t, you’ll still have a good time.

    1. Thanks so much for sharing that. Gosh I am so happy for you! Congrats on your engagement! What a great story of how you met! God is good! Thanks for the encouragement 🙂 big hugs to you xox

  123. People don’t always look at the core of your blog, or anyone’s blog, especially if they are coming across it. However, for them to feel, “oh so” inclined to lash at you, and try to stumble you in your walk with Christ…they’re being blind.

    For example, in life, there may be some personal choices that may differ from you and me, but I wouldn’t use those differences to lash at you. I accept you for who you are, and more than that, I see God at work. I see you working through your faith, and seeking God out. And you are a beautiful person because of your walk, and your light of Christ shining through. I’m not your Judge, and I’m not going to focus on every small detail, trying to be so narrow as to find flaws, and problems that are non existent, or for that matter…just aren’t my business ; ) .

    When people are hypocritical, or claim to believe they know what they are doing, they can be most blind. Scripture says multiple times people will have, “Ears that do not hear, and eyes that do not see.”

    Keep shining, girl. Those that are seeking the light will see it. Those that are blinded, just smile, and shake the dust off. : ) You got this because you are the daughter of a King.

      1. I’m at prayer right now at my church and God gave me this scripture, which I wanted to give to you Psalm 25:01-03, To You O Lord, I lift up my soul. O my God, I trust in You; Let me not be ashamed; Let not my enemies triumph over me. Indeed, let no one who waits on You be ashamed; Let those be ashamed who deal treacherously without cause.

  124. Great post. Obviously the lamer who emailed you has the hots for you and totally admires you. Angry people usually strike out at the things they love the most.

    This quote is a great takeaway: “I have always been a believer that God uses everything for good. No suffering is ever wasted, because eventually, it will be used to help another person.”

  125. Baby gal, your story is beautiful you’ve come such a long way! Don’t let a bully pull you down! Your more than a conqueror through Christ our Lord. Let the whole world know where God has delivered you from and where He is taking you too….. proud of you 🙂

  126. I agree with other commenters that your “penpal” needs prayers. Lust is a choice, just like any other sin — a choice to be selfish, to *take* pleasure, to use another. Unfortunately, I spent several years in that mode, and no one “made me” do it. You can’t make someone consent to sin.

    You could, I suppose, tempt or provoke another person (intentionally or out of ignorance), but in my short time here on your site, I don’t see it. Freedom and self-control go hand-in-hand…as men, we can’t hide behind “boys will be boys” anymore, and as ladies, you can’t settle for or excuse it either.

    We’re broken. Hence, prayers…

    Here’s my perspective on the topic of lust. It is both personal and old-school-Catholic, but the Catholic Church’s teachings on this topic changed my life and marriage: https://archangelstomp.com/2011/05/19/chivalry-is-not-dead-sacramental-sexuality-in-an-age-of-lust/.

    Blessings!