Auditioning for The Bachelor?

Well The Bachelor auditions were today.

And before you fall out of your chair, no I didn’t go.

However, I’m not gonna lie, I was thisclose. 

I even showered for the occasion…which…let’s just say, is a big deal 😉

hah JK JK #HygieneIsImportant

My two best friends in the world really wanted me to audition. And for a while, I had committed to the idea of doing it. Because I feel like, if I’m ever going to find love, I’m gonna have to throw myself into a situation where that’s the only option.

Maybe that’s a little pessimistic. But, that’s kinda how I’m feeling right now. A pathetic mix of desperation and hopeless surrender.

But yeah, after trying on a couple different outfits and Google Maps-ing the subway directions to the audition location, I decided that I don’t want to date a guy who could justify dating 30 other girls.

I’ve worked too hard on my self worth to go through that dumpster fire of depreciation.

Anywho. If you can’t tell from my…jubilant candor…I’m back in New York. First night actually. I just flew in this morning. And let’s just say, the four walls of my studio apartment seem closer than ever before. I’m going to be honest – my heart feels a bit caged in. And I don’t know if that’s a repercussion of denying myself the opportunity to meet a perfectly chiseled Ken doll on reality TV, or the fact that my heart is yearning for Ohio, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s the latter.

Since my mom’s stroke back in December, I have been in full-time “side-kick” mode. By her side, enjoying time together literally from eyes open in the morning to eyes closed at night.

It’s been a beautiful, strengthening, healing and challenging time where I’ve grown in admiration and love and friendship with my hero: my mom.

And my dad, too. He is our rock and the best man I know, I always feel badly I don’t talk more about him on here, but he’s a pretty private gentleman.

But going from 0 to 60, with literally zero free time to now living by myself in a studio apartment, let’s just say it’s a bit of a shock.

The silence is deafening. Thank goodness for Spotify, amIrite?

But if there’s one thing that has been illuminated from this, it’s that I love taking care of other people.

I love living the day-to-day with people I love.

And I realized just how much I cannot wait to take care of my future husband, whomever he may be.

I guess that’s why I thought about auditioning for The Bachelor – I’d like the abridged version of dating…let’s just zip through it and get married already.


I just have to trust in God’s timing.

Which, I know, is kind of a broken record on here. But it’s so true. And frankly, it’s what I’m clinging onto for dear life.

God has brought me through so much. He brought me out of the depths of anorexia. Healed me from a severe case of Ulcerative Colitis. And has carried me through this terrifying season during my mom’s stroke this year.

God is not finished with me.

He didn’t bring me through all of that to just abandon me.

I’ve got to trust that the best is yet to come. I’ve got to trust that all of this has been shaping my heart. Preparing my spirit to be ready to love, ready to open up to someone, ready to live.

What’s that saying? — If God leads you to it, He’ll see you through it??

Something like that.

Well, He’s proved that in my life. Not always the most comfortable or pleasant of times, but always worth it in the end.

Part of me wonders what part of my heart still needs transforming before God brings my future husband into my life. Hmm…sounds like I just found what I need to start praying for.

Lastly, I’ve received some really powerful questions about eating disorders and recovery. I’ll be taking questions up until Sunday, so send them in to and I’ll answer them in next week’s post (as a non-professional, of course).

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357 responses to “Auditioning for The Bachelor?”

  1. Beautifully heartfelt — and such realistic positivity in this post. Thankyou for sharing. 🙂
    “I’ve got to trust that the best is yet to come” — it’s all contained in those words!

  2. I would have traveled to NY, hunted you down, and smacked you silly, if you had gone through with that audition….LOL. Hang in there, sweet lady! God wants ONLY THE BEST for you! 😘

  3. “Reality TV” no matter what format, is phony, shallow, mindless, old, tired, and I really wish it would GO AWAY!! You don’t need that. You aren’t the kind of bimbo that they put on that show and you don’t need to worry about the kind of guy they put on it either. You are real, intelligent, sensitive, beautiful inside and out, and have all the class and sense that those people do NOT!! xoxoxoxoxoxo God Bless!!

  4. One word – Faith. You aren’t rushing it, which is great – you have so much going for you – someone would have to be very special so God must be interviewing and weeding out the ‘bad’ ones ! 🙂

    • i think you’re right about that! i actually made a profile on there a couple years ago. haha haven’t checked it since! haha thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

  5. You’re just beautiful, inside and out. And, no. God’s not finished with you yet. I watch the Bachelor sometimes, but can’t justify dating all those girls at once – there’s something dishonest about that process…or should I say, “It’s an experience that steals from the true meaning of courtship.”

    • gosh thank you so much Jennifer. I so appreciate your kind words. Yeah – I don’t know what I was thinking. Definitely not me. That’s so true – it robs the true meaning of courtship! amen! big hugs to you xox

  6. There is so much ahead for you, you’re an amazing, caring, loving and passionate person! I’m happy you decided to not go and take a leap of faith to see what God has for you!! Read your blogs about your mom and OMG, you’re strong girl!! Sending lots of love your way today!

  7. Girlfriend! I love reading your blog! I swear we are the same person! I’m almost 30 and still single. I’m waiting too! God is going to bless us with an amazing man (different ones of course 😂)! You are the kind of friend I need! Too bad we don’t live near eachother!! Pray! I’ll be praying with/for you! I hate the dating aspect of everything though. It’s so much time and effort put into it for something you HOPE is the right one! Ugh! Stay strong! God’s got us! ❤️

    • hah aw thanks so much! I’m so glad you can relate 🙂 amen. to. that! He has such great men in store for us, I just know it! we just have to be patient. I will definitely keep you in my prayers as well!! thanks so much for this awesome nudge of encouragement. it was exactly the positivity I needed to hear tonight 🙂 big hugs to you xox

  8. I did not know about your Mom as I have been absent from the blogging world, as you know. I am so sorry to hear about it and I will be praying and offering Mass for her healing. My Dad had a stroke some years back. He lost his right hand and speech. So I went and got him children’s books with pictures, would crawl in bed with him and MAKE him say the name of the pictures. He would say something like, “Know, can’t say.” I would say, “Don’t play stroke with me, if you know it you can say it.” If I was cleaning their home, as Mom was sick at that time, whatever was laying around I would pick up and tell him, “Tell me what this is.” After about six weeks he begin to speak and has not stopped in five years. As far as his hand I went and bought marbles and a tennis ball. I made him every hour take those things and roll them in his hand. Also in about six weeks though weak, the use of his hand came back. The doctor’s told me to keep him talking and moving as if he did not he would lose that part of his brain for good. Last year he replaced all the windows in his house by himself at 86. He mows 15 acres of ground, works on his lawn mower, etc…. Heart doctor told me he has one of the strongest heart’s he has ever heard. So know there is always hope and prayers as you know are coming your way.

    As far as a husband. I know God has the perfect one picked out for you. You just have not met him yet. 🙂 Love you and God Bless, SR

    • Wow, SR, thank you so much for sharing this with me. First of all – praise God for your father’s recovery. That is such an incredible story and gives me so much hope. Gosh, thanks be to God for that! And thank you for your prayers for my mom. It sounds like we both have warriors for parents 🙂 big hugs to you xox

  9. Ye cats and fishes. The Bachelor? Good decision, dear heart. The thing about love? is that it shows up when it is time. So. Don’t despair- at your age (I think?) it is easy to think it’s all going to zoom by and you’ll be left in the dust or something like that. But as you know, life really works more mysteriously and masterfully than that. Keep doing what you’re doing, keep improving your heart and mind, don’t fret or doubt, and before you know it the desires of your Heart will manifest. It happened to me. So it most definitely can happen for you!

    • Love shows up when it is time. Wow – those are some powerful words! thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement. Yes! I do believe that 🙂 It will manifest 🙂 Thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

  10. Love your honesty, pastor and I’m glad you didn’t go. God has guided your walk of faith, healing and recovery! Please trust He already knows. Don’t forget, when you start your church the singles groups are full of great prospects. Hi and prayers for your Mom! File this blog away with your other sermon outlines! Patience might be the topic. So proud of you!

    • Thanks so much Rick. I really appreciate this. you’re right – I need to trust that He has it all written out for me already. Now i just have to exercise some patience! hah You know, I just pictured Jesus rolling His eyes when He heard the premise of the show…and that’s what made me not want to do it. haha WWJD — or WWJ*think* — right?? Thanks for your prayers, as always! big hugs xo

  11. I, for one, am grateful you didn’t audition. Girlfriend, God has someone so infinitely better than a man who is willing to date 30 girls at once, and do things with them that you don’t want your future husband doing with anyone but you. I’m serious. Hold out for God’s best. You will NEVER regret waiting for him, I promise. The crying in your pillow at night and the longing ache in your belly are so real to you right now, but turn those cries into prayers to the Lord. Cling to Him. He will not let you down, and He will bring about His best at the right time, and you will be so blessed and relieved that you waited when that time finally comes. I can’t stress that enough. There is blessing in the waiting. Blessings for those who wait for God’s best that transcend time and are so much more precious than settling for “good enough.” I’m praying for you. Every time God brings you to my heart, I lift you up. It can’t be easy being single and practicing abstinence these days, but just remember, “Thy will be done.” Not our will, but His. That’s where we find ultimate peace and joy, despite the pain of life. 🙂 Oh, how I wish I could give you a hug. xoxo

    • Thanks so much Laurie for reminding me of the TRUTH!! you’re so right – I need to hold out for God’s best. Honestly, i don’t know what I was thinking, even considering it!?! amen – blessing in the waiting. i do believe that. thank you so much for your prayers. it seriously means the world. you are a blessing to me! I’m gratefully receiving your virtual hug and sending you one right back 🙂 thanks again for the encouragement x

  12. Another thing the doctor/therapist told me was they become extremely disgusted because they cannot move and speak like they used to. Because of this they will just sit down and eventually not even try. When they do that, the part of the brain which the stroke affected will more of less just give up too. My word’s to Daddy always were like I said, “Don’t play stroke with me.” I knew if Daddy had to sit in a chair the rest of his life he would die. One thing he always told us kids was, “You sit down you die.” That played over and over in my mind, when he had his stroke. The funny thing is now none of his kids ever sit. We work all the time. I think he overdid it! 🙂 Yes I thank God for everything. If you need any help you know where my blog is. Don’t know everything but can find the answers. My sister is a nurse and I worked in the medical field for 20 years. Love you and God Bless, SR

    • wow, that’s fascinating – and it makes so much sense too. i love that you said Don’t play stroke with me. THat’s a really loving and encouraging way to tell him that you believe in him. He’s lucky to have you 🙂 yes, thanks again x

  13. Well you hooked me with the title! A thoughtful and prophetic post (“dumpster fire of depreciation” – a magnificent turn of phrase that so accurately sums up so much of reality tv). Thanks for posting!

    • haha thanks so much Russell. haha glad you liked that phrase…i will admit, I was pretty happy with it too hahaha Words are fun. 🙂 🙂 🙂 thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read! big hugs xox

  14. Sweetheart … I was not aware that you had been taking care of your Mom. I did not know she had a stroke. I know the hard work 24 – 7 of caring for parents and grandparents. I helped care for my father and mother, who both had cancer, and my 101 year old grandmother who died of old age. Caring for them was a labor of love. My level of compassion grew as well as my patience. I’m happy you had that opportunity early in your life. Don’t worry about finding the right man … God will introduce you two when the time is perfect. : ) Jan

    • thanks so much Jan. Yeah, she had her stroke 2 days after Christmas, and so I moved home from NYC to help out. there was no question about that decision. Oh my gosh, i am so sorry to hear that your parents fought cancer, that’s so tough. You’re right, a labor of love that grows love. Thanks so much for your encouraging words and support. i really appreciate your friendship 🙂 big hugs xox

  15. I understand how you’re feeling! But you’re exactly right: God is not finished with you and He has more beautiful things planned for you!! Stay strong & remember how much He loves you!!

  16. I just have to say… Ilove your writing. He will be a lucky man!

    Back when I divorced, some friends submitted me to the process. They emailed, put me on some forum, and I got an email asking for a video audition. I just could not do it. That is not me. And it doesn’t sound like it’s you either.

    Be patient… He will send him 🙂

    • oh my gosh Hunter, thank you so much. i really appreciate your kind words and perspective. Yeah, i honestly don’t know what i was thinking! haha thanks again. hugs xo

  17. Awesome post. I tell my daughter great things comes to those who wait and she will be a Junior in college come August. Sometimes its hard waiting on God, but always remember He has plans for all of us. God is not finished with you just yet.

  18. On the topic of love, I’ve stood by several friends believing for a hubby and the one thing I see as key is becoming really open…even going on some dates and giving guys a chance you might not usually. It might mean some compromising initially but its worked for me and many friends and none of us have compromised when its come to who we ended up with. Just part of the humbling journey! Just make sure you end up with a guy who shares your faith 🙂

  19. Good post with a some full disclosure. God has done a lot of chiseling in your heart already. But have patience- masterpieces are not created in a day. But you show that God has already started something special with you. And when you give credit to your Creator it is only a precursor of greater things to come. Hang in there and thanks again for sharing. From your oldest in age follower and fan. John

    • thanks so much John. I think you’re absolutely right – no masterpiece was created in a day, and I do believe He’s got someone very special in store. Thanks for always being so positive and encouraging. it means the world. you’re a great friend 🙂 big hugs x

  20. Hey! The success rates on that show are super super super depressingly and horrifyingly low. Not that God couldn’t work a miracle (and I think he did at least once for the show), but I would never touch it unless you felt a serious nudge from God. Like a shove from behind face-plant variety nudge:) Otherwise, nobody needs that kind of exploitation. You’re so right!
    But I’d also stay away from thinking that maybe a guy is coming when you’re in such a such and such a place. The right person comes at the right point in the story. In my own I was NOT ready but it grew me and challenged me in every way. Some people get to be “ready,” (but I’m thinking most are somewhere in between). God is the amazing author of all the best stories so don’t overthink it:) If you do it on his plan, it will be perfect, ready or not, messy or not, crazy or not, or whatever!
    Don’t sweat it for even a second and keep the faith!

    • thanks for this powerful perspective. you’re right, their “love” lasts for about 5 minutes after the last show. you’re right – God is the best author! big hugs xox

  21. You are such a lovely writer, and such a lovely person, I am really glad you did not audition for the Bachelor and that your awareness told you that it would not be good for your self-esteem. There are so many other venues for finding love one-on-one. I am still trying to get the courage to go on Match and in fact was writing about that tonight for my blog. Keep doing what you do and expressing your gift for words and empathy and understanding of the human heart and mind.

  22. You know by now that I say things from my heart. In my humble opinion, you have made another excellent life decision! You don’t need to put yourself out there for a bunch of losers to grope. Yes, I call them losers that can’t find a real woman so they go on TV and pretend to be something they are not. You called it reality TV, but none of it is real. To me it comes across as scripted, and I stopped watching it many seasons ago. You are a wonderful young lady and yes, God will send you the right man at the right time. I’m a PK (Preacher’s Kid) and God has always been there for me. You talked about your Dad, and I know how proud of you he is. I told you a few weeks ago that if I had a daughter I would want her to be like you and you jus reinforced that. Be strong, be patient, and just be you. You are loved, just the way you are. xoxo

    • Thanks so much Walk. You’re right – i don’t know what i was thinking even considering it! haha it would have made Jesus cry… seriously. Thanks again for being such a great friend. I am blessed to know you! big hugs x

  23. I had been crying rivers for my wife before we met, Caralyn, and he, too, is for you, somewhere out there.
    Our Father knows we all have to be going through impatient and tempting times. Be gentle with yourself, precious friend.
    Calming hugs and completely trusting prayers,

  24. Hope this helps:
    Patricia and I were lucky enough to discover that quiet, intense love that is basic to life itself; it is seldom found in real life. We had the eyes to see and the words to tell the truths that are most real to each other. I used to pray nightly that the first girl that attended Church with me would be the girl I married; well Pat was the first girl that attended Church with me. She even became an Anglican and Christianity is very much a part of our love. I love her with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life; and now that she is in Heaven, if God choose, I shall but love her better after death. However right now, her death is like a hole in my very being, that can never be filled again, that I don’t want filled, that I’m scared to live with and scared to live without.
    Pat got it right from the beginning. She was a very deep thinker and wouldn’t commit to love until she had thought it through. In a letter to me written just before she went home for Christmas 1968 she wrote, “…On top of this I feel an elusive fondness for you that can’t be classified; it’s too strong for friendship and not strong enough for love. Whether I will love you in the future, I don’t know. I think the chances for it are better than the chances against. I like to think of you and Toronto having a large role to play in my present, & perhaps my future. I would prefer you not to mention marriage again until & unless you feel that I can return your feelings equally. Pat. “
    She wanted to be sure we were soulmates. About a month after she got back from Ottawa we were kissing good night after a date when she said, “Eric, I love you!” After recovering from the shock, I replied “Does this mean you will marry me?” She replied “Yes.” That was February 9th, 1969 we bought the ring on February 14, 1969 and were married on June 21, 1969.

    • This is so incredibly powerful and beautiful. you’ve got me crying! thank you so much for sharing your story. you are giving her such a beautiful testimony. you had and have such a beautiful love- it restores hope in my soul. i cannot tell you how much this meant to me. thank you. know that i will be praying for you. i can’t imagine what that hole feels like, but I do know that we will all be reunited one day in perfect peace, and pick up right where we left off. sending so so much love and hugs xox

  25. Good Call!

    Now, as someone old enough to be your father, a really wacky question: is it possible that God is calling you to a religious vocation? Don’t summarily rule it out. My oldest son has found himself in formation to become a Dominican Friar and is very happy There. There are a lot of great religious communities out there. Just thought I’d mention it. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. 🙂

  26. Such a beautiful message! Thank you for sharing from your heart. I do hope your mom is well and improving. I’m new to your blog and enjoy reading your messages. I have a doctorate in speech-language pathology, and I’m a rehab director for an outpatient therapy clinic so this intrigued me greatly. Praying for healing and strength during her continued recovery!

    • thanks so much. Yes! my mom is doing well and is on the road of recovery. we are very encouraged by her progress. thanks for your prayers 🙂 it means a lot. big hugs xox

  27. Don’t ever settle for second best, you don’t want a life of daily regret. Rather run hard after God and he will show you someone who is equally run hard after God…then you will be a great godly team.

  28. I’m going to offer something different here: perhaps God wants you to himself. Either as a single woman, consecrated, or a religious sister. These are as noble a call, vocation, as married life. A life’s work that you would fill with dignity and grace. As a single woman, or consecrated virgin there are ways of serving God in a way that honors him.
    There are options. I love being married, however I’d be just as happy being single. <3

      • Hello, I’ve been gone awhile, recovering from another stroke. I haven’t had time to catch up with your posts yet, so please forgive me if this is inappropriate. I was wondering how your Mom was doing? I’ve thought of her and you going to care for her so much while I’ve been out. God Bless
        Pastor David

      • Oh gosh David I am so sorry to hear that. Hang in there. Praying for you friend. She’s doing great – we just walked the 80 mile el Camino pilgrimage together! Thank you for your kindness. Sending so much love and hugs xox

      • Thank you for responding, I’m glad your Mom is doin so we’ll! I’m also very impressed with the way you site is going! Keep it up girl, your reaching people with encouragement! God Bless you!

  29. Now, I know you can’t tailor your blog to any one individual, like, oh, I don’t know…me, for example. But a headline like tonight’s wasn’t too good for my poor, damaged heart.

    “IT’S THE BIG ONE, JULIE!!” (grabs his chest in pain)

    You’ll have to go over to Patreon to see if I’m OK.



    200 joules. Charging…aaand CLEAR!!!!


  30. Hey, you don’t have to audition for the bachelor. Any guy who is single, sees you and gets to find out who you are as a person would be mad to pass up the opportunity to grab you and hang on. 🙂 There is a decent person out there just for you, don’t go for second best on a sub standard show.

    • Thanks so much Ian. Gosh what a kind thing to say 🙂 yeah I don’t know what I was thinking even considering it!! I just have to be patient! Thanks for the encouragement 🙂 big hugs to you xox

  31. I have three single gorgeous sons. Well, one of them has a girlfriend. So two and half. Let me know when and I’ll arrange a date. 😂🤣😂

    Seriously, I have many single friends. I’m not even sure how to pray for them in this area. So I simply pray, “that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so that you may discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day Christ, being filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ.”

    I pray this for you as well.

    • Aw Kathleen, thank you so much for your prayers and encouraging words. Haha single sons, eh??? 😁😁😁 haha yes, God is good and I’ll trust His timing! Hugs and love xox

  32. One day at a time.

    I met my wife in New York. She was florida and I was from Illinois. You just never know!

    God is good. Will be praying for your mom.

  33. “I guess that’s why I thought about auditioning for The Bachelor – I’d like the abridged version of dating…let’s just zip through it and get married already.”
    Me too, Caralyn! You are not alone. #SingleLadiesUnite
    I feel like I just want Christ to show me who is “the One” the first time I see them… which could happen! But I am so over dating to date. I just want to be dating for marriage, but like you said yourself, I think there might be some stuff in my heart Christ is wanting to change first. “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” (Philippians 2:13)
    Let’s keep this verse in mind as Jesus gives us the ability to wait, and yet desire, that special someone! He is faithful 🙂
    Love, In Christ,

  34. I love the phrase in the scriptures “in the fullness of time”. If we’d just consider all God had to orchestrate for Jesus to be born. Time and space, star placements – astronomical choreography, genetics and generations of Mary’s family line, governments and world leaders, which meant more genetics, ruling governments, beginning from Adam. Dear, the person and timing aren’t totally up to the placement and alignment of your heart, and where you need to be with Jesus. That is only a piece. A Master Craftsman is at work readying all for “in the fullness of time” for your life. For God sees not only you and Mr. Right, but all you will do for him together, the children you will raise, the community you will impact together, and the glory you will bring Him together. He’s preparing and setting up all of it! He’s got this, and he’s got you. Let him sing over you (Zeph. 3:17) as he creates your life moment by moment, for his beautiful masterpiece! You are his treasure! And to him you are striking!

    • in the fullness of time. i love that. thanks so much for sharing that with me. You’re so right – God has the plans all laid out. i just have to be patient. thanks for the encouragement. big hugs xo

  35. Another well-written article. I admire your work… greatly. Thanks always for your honesty — and for being willing to share your heart with your readers. I just want to say… that I believe God has made you into a woman of deep character, with a servant’s heart. I think you are right… God is still preparing you (OR him) for that special moment when you meet and God’s plan comes into full view. It is hard, but cherish this time. No need to rush through this. You know to rest in God’s timing and in His love… until that special person comes along. Personally, I was 25 before I found “the one” — and looking back I wondered why I was always so anxious for that moment. God had it all along. He also has you… Enjoy the journey! M. A.

    • aw, MA, thank you so much!! i’m so glad you enjoyed the read. and thanks for your kind words- that’s really great advice – no need to rush through this. God’s timing is perfect. big hugs xo

  36. God is working on your future as much as He’s working on you. You have a beautiful, loving heart. After getting married as a young woman I realized that I could still be lonely at times. Loneliness draws us to His heart. You are wise to wait on the Lord for His timing. I cared for my mama the last few weeks of her life…I cannot describe in words, the pure joy of loving and serving her. When she left, my heart was so broken…and I still miss her…but I have precious memories, and one day we will see each other again. You are Blessed! May God give you the desires of your heart…that He places inside of you, as you rest at His feet. God Bless…Karen

    • thanks so much for this beautiful response, Karen. I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement. You’re so right – i should use this time to draw closer to Jesus. I’m so sorry about your mother. What a gift you gave her in serving her during that season. And yes, there is such comfort in knowing that we will all be reunited in peace in paradise. thanks for stopping by. big hugs xo

  37. You don’t need SMUT when you have smarts. You don’t need to prove anything to the world about Love. The love of God is vastly different from the love of the world. Read Galatians 5 and 1 Corinthians 13 along with Proverbs 31. My friend it is okay not to have all the answers to life’s important questions. If we did there would be no need to seek God. I have a thought. Allow some moments of your time. I believe you and I are in the same walk way just wearing different shoes. I too sometimes question when the Big L is going to happen. It is okay to have honest questions for God. I am not a scholar in any means nor do I pretend to be. I am made a dirt and you’re made of ribs. Remember this when pondering relationships don’t look to shows like the Young and The Restless. Seek God. I believe you will find the person God chooses for you in his time. Until that time be satisfied in serving Christ first. Even though you are very pretty God would not want his children exposed on a television show like that. Where is the Lord has created Love the enemy has craved for men and women to lust after one another. Love and Lust if you understand the different you are not only beautiful but also brilliant as well. I have had the pleasure of following your blog for the past 2 years. I have discovered something about you that not many have figured out. You’re pretty in pictures, kind in actions, sometimes gentle in word like we all are. However there is something more to you. The beauty of a woman’s heart outweighs personal image or how a camera sees you. The beauty of your heart is shown because you wish to seek and the serve the Lord.

  38. PS: I have not forgotten about the world of Blogging it is just at this time I have chosen to step away from blogging for a bit so I can spend some more time with the Lord. I am seeking to see the Lord’s will for my life and in the process I want to seek what is it to have the heart of God.

  39. Girl! I love it! He is absolutely shaping you into the woman your husband will be blessed to have. God is at work in every area of our lives- even the parts we’d like to skip through! God bless you as he continues to mold you into who he has for you to be:)

    • oh my gosh, thank you so much for this beautiful comment! i think you’re right – God is in control, and has everything in place for us in the proper time. I just have to be patient! (which i am not good at! haha ) big hugs to you xox

  40. Before you can be with someone, you have to learn how to be on your own. That includes happiness. A lot of people believe that, in order for them to be happy, they need to be married. But those may not be God’s plans for everybody. Once you have accepted that, then it may happen. I was not looking to get married when I met my husband. I was living my life in the knowledge that it was possible that God might have not had that in His plans for me. And I was perfectly fine with the idea if never getting married because I trusted that God had perhaps better plans for me up His sleeve than marriage. And that’s when I met my husband, when I was perfectly fine with the idea of a life without a husband. You already know a bit about my own story. It didn’t turn out the way I would have liked. But… Maybe this failed marriage it is in fact the path to a much better plan. After what has been happening in my life lately, I am coming to terms with that idea. I am starting to believe that God had a strange way of leading me to what I hope will be a much better plan. I thank you for having post this because it reminded me of how I used to feel about me and the possibility of not getting married. There are days when I would wish I never met my husband. But my daughter was born out of that failed relationship and she might have never existed if we hadn’t gotten married. Maybe that was the whole purpose: So my daughter would be born. Maybe I was His instrument to bring her to this world. And I think He’s acting through her. I truly do. I think He is bringing much-needed healing and growing in my life through this marriage and my daughter. Anyway, we can all have incredible lives with or without a partner. Sometimes we can even love more when we do not have that commitment because we are free to take on bigger commitments just for not having that one (marriage.) Either way, you are an extraordinary person and I have a feeling that the best is yet to come for you, with or without a partner. Just trust Him that He will take care of you and provide for you. I’m learning this in a very hard way. ♡

    • Thanks, Maria, for this thoughtful response. you’re so right about that – we have to learn how to be on our own. and what a beautiful way to look at your past – i think you’re right – that marriage brought you your daughter, and the gift of life is precisely that: a gift. That is such a beautiful perspective. thanks for sharing it with me. big hugs to you and your daughter 🙂 x

  41. You know, I was in a position similar to yours about 5 years ago or so. I was praying so hard to find someone that I could trust and be myself with. All I was meeting were jerks and shallow men. Low and behold, I met a guy online in a game, we became friends and then we started texting, then facebooking. We talked every day. We video messaged a lot. Then he flew me down to Ga. where he was stationed in the Army and we spent the best 8 days ever together and now we are married and have 2 amazing kids! Love finds you in the most unexpected ways when you are the most unprepared and when you are least looking for it. God sure answered my prayers! Hang in there!!

    • oh my gosh what a beautiful love story you and your husband share! thanks for sharing it with me. it brings me great hope 🙂 you’re right – it’s when we least expect it! big hugs to you x

  42. Young lady, I am surprised that you are not married. I am old fashioned that way. But when the time comes you will know. Just remember, it’s that marriage, not the wedding, that is important.

  43. C’mon, now girlfriend! Is that your re-FRIG-erator? You gotta take some of that down, lady, if you’re gonna make room for a photo of your hubby-to-be!

    That’s a little off-color, maybe, but: if the present is too full, how is the future ever going to find us? To become connected as deeply as a marriage requires, we have to first be empty. We have to stop thinking, stop interpreting, just feel what our bodies, hearts and souls are telling us.

    Do you trust them, Caralyn? In particular, do you trust your body?

    • hahah oh my gosh Brian, you’re so right! i’ve gotta find room for him on there! But then…maybe he’s already on there and I just don’t know? 🙂 🙂 🙂 hahah Seriously thought, thank you for this powerful perspective. big hugs to you xox

  44. I am proud of you! You have morals and stick to them and you are patient. Good things come to those who wait! It’s so heart-warming that you are closer to your mother; my mother is my bestie 🙂

  45. My advice would be to drop the whole god thing. Tough for any man to compete with or be approved by what is in my humble opinion a fictional father figure. But hey, I was recently called atheistically biased by some random on Facebook. So best of luck either way. Love is the rarest and most precious of things.

  46. Caralyn I have a strong sense that God has led you through some challenging times to reach a point where you know and love yourself for who you are. So now you are more than ready to experience the bright and wonderful future God has planned for you with the man of your dreams. Exciting times!

  47. Dating has to be more fun without television cameras following every moment. Unless you’re meant to marry a cameraman? 🙂

  48. Going through your mother’s illness is hard! Be good to yourself, thanks for your honesty!

    Sent from Yahoo Mail for iPad

  49. I want to start off by saying how beautiful you are inside and outside. It shows from your writing and connection to so many people. I admire your desire to go on the Bachelor but I believe if it’s God’s desire for your life, he will send you someone even more special than the illusions they portray on television. Patience is a virtue and when his timing is right, things in your life will change overnight. Marriage is a beautiful thing if that’s what you want but it’s not everything. The jouuney you are on is exactly where you need to be right now. Don’t look to far into the future. Let today take care of today and tomorrows will certainly shine better your way. Keep building yourself up spiritually and things will progress in your life naturally. Believe and keep God close to your heart and he will continue to direct your path😊.

  50. Best of luck back in New York. Glad to hear your mom is staying strong. Even happier to hear you chose not to give the Bachelor a try. You are so fabulous. Your perfect match can’t help but find you when the time is right. 🙂

  51. What a wonderful post today! Thanks for your candor and courage. Very inspiring! And since I live in Ohio…a shout out to you for the positive statement about the state 🙂

  52. I’m glad you didn’t audition. You were right to not want a man that would date 30 other women at the same time. Keep being patient. I had to go through a lot before I found Kim, my hubby. I knew my demands and I wasn’t going to let up on them. I made a conscious decision that I knew what I deserved. You should do the same. Keep fighting for yourself! <3

    • Thanks so much Stiina, yeah i don’t know what I was thinking even considering auditioning! haha Aw, that’s such a beautiful love story you and your husband share 🙂 thanks for sharing that 🙂 big hugs xo

  53. Aw, someone like you shouldn’t need to demean herself on reality TV to get a date!

    Do you have matchmakers in the Catholic community? I know it sounds pretty Medieval, but they’re the norm in the Orthodox Jewish community, both Fiddler on the Roof type professional matchmakers and informal “I know someone who would be great for you!” ones. I admit I have never used the former, but I did go on a couple of blind dates with friends-of-friends(-of-friends). They didn’t work out, but they weren’t awful and I guess they were good experience for someone like me who has not dated very much. Maybe that would be a way of meeting someone? Ask those around you to keep an eye out for a suitable guy?

    • thanks so much friend 🙂 you know, i don’t know! i know in NYC there are matchmaking services….i know because I had an audition for one of them a while back. haha but i don’e know? i’ve always said that i want to set up by a friend 🙂 haha great advice! big hugs xox

  54. Everything has its own season – yours will come and God will never abandon you that’s for sure. Not only is He preparing you but he may just as well be preparing your future husband too. 🙂

  55. When we’re in a dry season, it’s hard to stay focused. A lot of times it’s not about the “why” but about the “what.” Sometimes we never get the answers to the “why,” but we need to look at the journey, the path, the “what.” But I wouldn’t judge you for going on the The Bachelor. At least you’d learn what you DON’T want! LOL Keep looking up!

    • Thanks so much Lisa. I think you’re right – the journey is exactly that – the journey. We can’t get to where we want to go without going through it! thanks for this awesome perspective. big hugs ox

  56. I am SO glad you did not!! From what little I know of the show, you have WAY too much respect for yourself, and the bachelor dude (whoever he might be) is not worthy of you!!

  57. You’ve done it yet again, thanks for sharing your stories and how God is working, and love the bits of humor laced in your blogs, just love it. In the words of DJ Khaled “YOU DA BEST!”
    And thanks for reading my blogs, not blowing up or as big as yours is but I do appreciate you taking the time to read my blogs, mine is boring lol! Anyways God bless my friend

  58. Good morning…As a 63 year old married lady (21 years and counting) Who just read your thoughts about finding The GUY…may I please say, You are perfectly lovely just the way you are. You are smart and pretty and loving and kind. Keep your eyes on your prize (which is you) I love my husband but marriage has been the hardest thing I have ever done. Harder than being single, harder than having cancer, harder than…..well truly hard. In the word Paul advises us to be single if we are able. I want you to understand that single is challenging and marriage is even more challenging. We are now expected to live in harmony with someone completely different than we are. It can be really lonely. I have felt trapped in a marriage at times and I am understanding that is pretty normal to feel that way. As a Christian it’s important to understand the truth of “Till death do we part” If you wanted honesty about marriage this is my take. Marriage can be sweet, and it can be rough. Marriage can be lovely and it can be horrible. Marriage can be calm and it can be rocky (much like life but doubled) Much like single life, marriage is about us. How are we with ourselves? Are we expecting someone else to fulfill us and our needs? How is our relationship with God, with our friends and with our dreams? Can we live our lives enjoying our days RIGHT NOW or are we living for the future when everything will be better? (That remains to be seen, it could actually be the same, just different) I do so hope you understand the spirit behind this comment to you. I was once you, hoping for that GUY to come and take me from my tiny world (Your metaphor of the apartment) I now live in A BIG place…and some days I miss the peace of tiny…. God Bless your precious heart

    • Hi Dr. Lynn, thank you so much for sharing your heart. This is such a powerful perspective, and I thank you for sharing the honesty of marriage with me. First of all, congrats on 21 years. you’re right – it’s not a fairy tale and it takes hard work. Sending you so much love. big hugs xo

  59. For what it’s worth, here’s my thinking (lots coming from personal experience, haha!):
    1. Not a good idea to go public with love relationship, so when you do find that guy keep it private (definitely not talk about him on your blog). Great that you didn’t audition for that show, that’s a fake thing anyway.
    2. Don’t look for a man to take care of (big NO!) or you’ll get yourself a husband you will loathe in the long run. You are obviously a strong person, you don’t need a whimp. Guys that women take care of are quite easy to find (men are mostly helpless without women, I know, pretty hilarious but accurate) – a guy who is man enough to take care of his woman is much harder to find but so much more worth it. Or else you’ll try raise him, educate him, train him etc. Which might work though you’ll waste a lot of precious energy in the process. Save that energy for your kids and you’ll all be a fine happy family for real. Trust me on this one.
    3. The right man will show himself in due time. All you have to do is believe and let God lead you to him and/or him to you. Works like a clock. Trust me on this one, too.
    4. Every day when you say your prayers, say this: “Dear God, I entrust you to find me the man You think is best for me.” Then leave this at the feet of the Cross and go about doing your things for the day. Don’t give it another thought. If you obssess over it, it means you want to take things into your hands and that’s really tricky. Resist the temptation and you will be handsomely rewarded.
    I guess that’s about it for now. Talk to you later if you feel like it. Love you, God bless, relax.

    • thanks so much for this powerful perspective. this is some really really great advice. i especially love that daily prayer. you’re right – say it and then let God do the rest! big hugs x

  60. Loved this! Before I started dating (now my soon to be husband), I had promised myself that I would never date. Not because I had a fear of rejection or of being hurt, but the fact that I loved having time to myself. I loved being alone and independent. Even after promising myself that I would never date, all of sudden this guy comes into my life. Totally unexpected, and the funny thing is, it wasn’t even love at first sight. We dated for 3yrs before he even asked for my hand in marriage. I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s all in God’s timing. Like you said, we just have to trust in Him. What a great read! 🙂

  61. You know, I look up to you. You’re larger than life to me, and someone very special. So I don’t believe your self doubt is justified. However, while I think you’re great, I’d hate to see you wind up with someone who failed to appreciate you for the wonderful, amazing young woman you are. Keep the faith that God has your back, that He loves you, and yes, I do believe there is a right man for you. Be careful where you look. He may not be found on shallow TV shows which basically debase their own contestants. You stand tall, so that’s what you should keep doing. And perhaps it is not you who are not yet ready for your future husband. It could be him. Have patience, pray, don’t forget to live. You’re awesome; never sell yourself short. That would be a true injustice.

  62. Needed to read this today. I have a wonderful husband, but even as a HAPPILY married woman, I still find myself in hard, HARD seasons of waiting when grief is sharp and I’ve no idea how to move forward. It’s beautiful to know I’ve got companions down this road and while we may be experiencing a different kind of waiting, the emotions are much the same and our God NEVER CHANGES. Keep writing, my dear. <3

    • Oh good! I’m so glad this hit home with you Sierra. Thanks for this powerful perspective. You’re right – He never changes. That’s great to remember. Hugs and love xox

  63. Yikes! Please don’t sell yourself short. You’re a beautiful person who deserves the best. You’ll never find love on a “reality” show. As many others have said, you’ll find it where you least expect it. I met my wife 48 years ago at a Catholic church picnic. (I was a Baptist.) I was also under 21 and my friend promised me beer if I would work in the CYC booth. Clearly a lifetime relationship was the farthest thing from my mind that Memorial Day. Don’t try so hard and you’ll find your Prince Charming where you least expect him and he’ll be a very lucky man.

    • Gosh thank you so much for this encouraging note. Wow what a beautiful love story you and your wife share! Thanks for sharing that with me. It gives me hope! Hugs and love xox

  64. Caralyn, you’re still young yet. Enjoy life, savor the moments you spend with your family and do the things you’ve always wanted to do. Your soulmate is out there in the same predicament and when the time’s right, your paths will cross. God already has a storyboard of your life mapped out and you’re probably still in Act I. So don’t fret, you’ll meet your “Mr. Right” in due time, until then continue to make precious moments with your family and friends. Sending thoughts and prayers as always to a speedy recovery for your mother.

    • Thanks Mark. You’re so right – God already has it all mapped out and I can be sure it is in perfect timing and good! Thanks for the encouragement. Hugs and love xox

  65. Love this post!! I thought I would never find my soul mate. I had a series of relationships that weren’t great and I was about to give up hope, but then I tried online dating (I swore I’d never do it). A bunch of my friends had met their husbands online, so I gave it a try. Sure enough the first day I signed up I met an amazing guy. We are now happily married with a two year old! He’s out there for you, he’ll just show up when you least expect it!

  66. I”m glad you didn’t try out. You are far, far more real than that approach. Your value on marriage is far greater than to cast pearls before swine. IMHO.
    Try to remember how thankful you have been to have the opportunity, and the relationship, to spend all this time with your mom and dad. Both of those are huge….er, yuge… things!
    Keep walking the walk sister. You’re doing great and are amazing!

  67. There is no part of your heart that needs transforming, it is perfect just the way it is, and you will find love, love will always find a way and God moves in mysterious ways, once you stop looking, your future husband will find you 🙂

    • Thanks so much for this encouragement Rich. You’re right – God has it all planned out in His perfect timing. I just need to stop looking and let God be God ! Hugs and love xox

  68. Love you. Guys/husbands are SORELY overrated. Take your time. Lol Seriously, you can be lonelier married than single. But if your heart wishes, God will bring you to it in the right timing. So glad you didn’t go on that horrible show where the man cheats on you just before marrying you. Really? Lol Love you. XO

  69. I’m glad you didn’t audition. As you say, you are worth more than that. A flaming dumpster is not the place to be!

    I’ve been married long enough now (11 years, sometimes it feels like a thousand, other times just a few months) that people are starting to look to me for advice and wisdom. Truth is, I haven’t got any. I’m learning every single day. I do know two things: your longing for a husband is completely normal and God will sustain you in the longing until the day comes when you begin life with a dude who will do things like leave his socks on the dining room table (yes, my husband does this).

    Keeping looking to Jesus, asking Him to fill your heart with His love and presence. Ask Him to give you wisdom and discernment in the guys you date. He won’t steer your wrong.

    • thanks so much Marie. haha you’re right – steer clear of the flaming dumpster! ha a thanks for sharing your story – Amen – God will sustain me! big hugs xox

  70. God really has great plans for our lives, plans that ate fat greater than our imagination
    Sometimes, it doesn’t go our way but God knows best.
    We can trust our unknown future in the Hands of a Known God
    Nice post

  71. Philippians 1:6
    And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.

    Ephesians 2:10
    For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

    2 Corinthians 8:21
    for we aim at what is honorable not only in the Lord’s sight but also in the sight of man.

    Psalms 130:5
    I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
    and in his word I hope;

    Psalms 71:16
    With the mighty deeds of the Lord GOD I will come;
    I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone.

    Hi Caralyn. I rested assured that you would not go on display on that TV production “The Bachelor”.

    The reasons for believing this are fairly straightforward, and all Scriptural. We know you do not want to put yourself on display, and be “chosen” by a winner in the world. You are a Precious child of God, and you are more worthy than even getting 2nd best offering. The KING of kings, and LORD of lords makes the best choices and pairings. You are worth the wait for God’s choice of a man, as the gentleman for you is worth the wait.

    We both know, along with your many followers, that our God has a definite plan for your life. He created you with intelligence, wisdom, and has given you gifts that are evident to many, and I believe there are gifts to come yet that you are not even aware of. All these gifts, along with the wisdom and intelligence are to be used to give God Glory, as you continually do on “Beauty Beyond Bones” and I am certain on your
    other stages as well.
    Many people, in various stages of life, have come to know you, and admire you greatly, and esteem you. This is because of who you are in Christ. People see Him in you, Caralyn, even if they don’t know it yet. We know your life is lived in a way that is honourable to man as well as to God.

    As you wait upon God, you can be certain He is still preparing the best for you. He is also giving you more time to know Jesus Christ better, growing stronger in your relationship with Him through reading the Bible, prayer, and good fellowship with other Born Again Christians.

    As you will be sharing in the future of all God has done in your life, what He has brought you through, and brought you to, you will have many opportunities to give God Praise and Glory, telling others of His Righteousness, and Holiness.

    God’s Blessings Caralyn.
    George 🌹❤️

    • Thanks so much for this thoughtful response George. You’re so right, He is still preparing the best for me. I will rest assured in that. have a great weekend! big hugs xox

  72. Okay don’t think to much on this, just something out there for thinking wise. Okay what say you are a male and got married real young with a older woman that can be your mother with a love child that can be a younger brother and got married again at 17 or 18 teen again to the same woman with an other love child with no memory on it with both times that it happen in your life time. Also you can’t call your wife on it because is a sprite personality strait? Just trowing that out there for thoughts. 🙂 🙁 lol

  73. Don’t trade your dignity and self worth for the commercial accolades promised by the Bachelor show. Shows like this try and sell us the fairy tale of Happy ever after. There is only one true happy ever after which is through Jesus Christ and the promise of eternal life. Christ has purchased believers with His blood and sacrifice on the cross that is sealed through His resurrection and the indwelling of the Holy Spirit

  74. Yup. Thank God for Spotify.
    I’m not one to tell a person what she should and should not do with her life, but I do want to share that music soothes the soul and if you believe in fate (I know, cheesy, right?) then there is a soundtrack for your life. Keep safe and happy. Cheers!

  75. You know C, when God made Eve, he didn’t just have Adam there and then just *poof*, there was Eve. He put Adam to sleep. He took from Adam’s side, he went to another place, and he formed Eve. Just the fact that he formed man instead of merely speaking him into existence tells me, he took his time, he probably enjoyed the process of pouring his love and likeness into that spirit immensely. And then he brought Eve to Adam and everything in Adam and everything in the Adam that was in Eve leapt and said ‘yes! This is a part of me, this is my ezer-kenegdo, my perfect match’

    More of the story? Maybe you should get an arranged marriage….?

    Just kidding ;D

    And you probably know what’s actually coming, the whole ‘God has the perfect man out there for you you just have to HURRY UP and BE PATIENT and WAIT’ speil, but I know you know all about that and thats not really where I was heading but it’s worth saying it’s okay to have that longing, and if we look a little deeper into it we’ll see part of the curse Eve got trying to be like God her own way, was that her desire would be for her husband and man I kinda gotta go like wait a minute, didn’t she already desire her husband? And you know what, that’s a whole slew of thought I haven’t even really thought about before and this is KINDA turning into rant now BUTTTT ……

    I guess where my train of thought is going is the more we look at Jesus, the less like first Adam and Eve-post-trying-tree we look like, the less that curse holds sway because that curse isn’t reality anymore, JESUS is reality, LIFE is reality where yee absolutely there is a part of you that belongs to your perfect match but both your part and his part are the image of Jesus and in the waiting and longing he is there bringing you to life out of the dust to your perfect match.

    So that sounded way more cliche than the thing that I was trying to put to words but that’s the best I can do right now. I guess what it comes down to is what I’ve always said – trust the process – and know you’re already made in the image of God, even though there’s a guy’s metaphorical rib in your side (not to make it creepy for ya ;D) you are complete, and he is complete, and you will be complete together. But after 900 years, I’ll bet you Adam wasn’t thinking anymore about how long that snooze was waiting for his Eve 😉

    Boy, and the ramble just keeps going, haha. I’ll end with that before I get on another bunny trail. Happy Saturday! 😀

    • Gosh thanks so much for this awesome response Carson. It wasn’t cliche at all! It really resonated with me. You’re right – trust the process. God is doing his masterful work! And you know me…bunny trails always welcome! 🙂 hehe have a great weekend! Hugs and love xox

  76. I love your fridge! Haha! Totally random, I know. But it’s amazing! I just wanna say.. I’m grateful I found your blog. You seem to be a wonderful lady! There’s so much ahead of you. Be strong! Much love to you girl! ❤️❤️❤️

  77. Okay, 1, this post did not end in a way that that the title implied ahah. As much as I wish you every success, I just feel like The Bachelor is not the place for you. :*

    Anyway, thank you again for this post. I’ve been lurking for a while but I feel like at this moment in my life I’m going through such an incredible transformation. (Thanks, Jesus!) Your writing has been such an inspiration to me in the past few months and I’m making an effort to comment because I appreciate you so much. Thank you for sharing your story <3

    (also thank you for liking the last few posts on my blog! Wow ahhh) xx

    • Hahha thanns Britts, yeah a little curve ball there 🙂 I’m so glad my writing has resonated with you! Seriously, that makes my heart so glad 🙂 sending such big hugs xox

  78. It is the waiting that is hard indeed. However, it is often said (and rather ironically) that one is blessed with the object of their desires when they have lost their craving for it.

  79. Hey girl!

    Idk if you’ve seen but Netflix came out with a new movie about a young girl battling anorexia. It’s called “to the bone”. It really brings awareness to the reality of what it is to battle an eating disorder. I watched it last night and it made me cry from beginning to end! It really depicted like my whole teenage and early adulthood life lol but I thought of you. It is intense but it’s so raw. I think you’d like it.

    It might be triggering for some people if they’re in their early stages of recovery but I think you’d be able to resonate with it.

      • I just read your blog post. I honestly didn’t get that reaction from watching the movie at all. I thought I would. Now if you are easily triggered then I suggest you don’t watch it. But for someone who was also in and out of hospitals and in and out of inpatient/outpatient/day programs with and for a severe eating disorder, it didn’t trigger me. It did help me see and understand the incredible rescuing God did for me. it reminded me of being redeemed. Long story short, the movie ends beautifully and it does have triggering parts showing her bones which was actually a lot of makeup and some weight loss from my research, but I saw the bright side: how God can rescue those from the grave as He did for me. It was a great reminder of where I was but an even greater reminder of the journey God has taken me on to be healed.

        Read psalm 107 tonight 🙂 it’s pretty much my life story! Sending you hugs xox

      • Thank you so much for your honest review. I’m so glad you’ve also found God’s rescuing hand 🙂 We we’re both really lucky to have our stories end the way they did. I will definitely read that Psalm tonight! Thanks again for sharing your thoughts on the movie. So glad it was healing for you:) sending big hugs xox

  80. You are way too good for the bachelor. You are witty, kind, beautiful and compassionate. Your faith journey has sharpened your spirit and helped you grow in your Commitment to Christ. You need to find a man who is overjoyed to know that he is the second man in your life, second to Jesus. I doubt that reality television is such a place. My son found a woman like you through an internet dating site. I am not advocating that; but, just pointing out that there are options other than “the bachelor” or hanging out at bars. Many humans long for a companion in order to achieve some form of completeness. Many women long for children. These are natural and normal yearnings of the flesh. However, true and absolute completeness and security can only be found in the one who is complete and absolute, namely, God. Seek God first and follow step by step in His ways and He will lift you up. Continue to trust in His timing and pray that your will be conformed to His will, whether it be in marriage and motherhood or in singleness.

    God Bless

  81. Money is the root of all evil, and I think a televised show kinda blurs the real truth and reality of what it means to give your heart to someone. Which you’ve written beautifully about in multiple posts as well ; ), as here. The Church (body of believers) is the Bride of Christ. Jesus has not come to Earth yet because He is patient. Waiting for the Bride to be fully ready, patient for everything that needs to happen first, while loving the Bride through the wait. I think you following God, instead of what you would like/want to happen speaks volumes. You are telling Him, that you choose His path for you, all the the while, guarding your heart as God has shown you. <3

    • You’re so right – that line is so blurred. Thanks for your encouragement. You’re right – patience patience patience. Which coincidentally isn’t one of my strong suits ha Hugs and love xox

    • Thanks Corrie 🙂 you’re right – craziness for sure. I just have to patient…not my strong suit. Haha thanks for stopping by! Hope you’re having a great weekend! Hugs and love xox

  82. You said: “God is not finished with me.
    He didn’t bring me through all of that to just abandon me.
    I’ve got to trust that the best is yet to come. I’ve got to trust that all of this has been shaping my heart…
    What’s that saying? — If God leads you to it, He’ll see you through it??”

    YES! Ditto! God has called my husband and me to move again, this time to someplace unfamiliar to us, not where we have any family, and leaving friends and family behind us, to move 500 miles away (again). So, we are beginning the process of what all needs to be done to pick up and move again, so what you shared fits with where we are, too. He will absolutely see us through it! Amen!!

  83. The final confirmations for me were:

    1) Is. 6:8-9a: And I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send, and who will go for us?” Then I said, “Here I am! Send me.” And he said, “Go, and say to this people…”

    2) The words to the song “It All Depends,” by Jerry Nelson:
    Would I leave the place
    Where I have lived and settled down?
    It all depends.
    Break with my attachments,
    Sentimental though they be?
    It all depends.
    Would I find myself uprooting
    All the stakes I’ve driven down,
    Leaving friends and loved ones far behind,
    Captive to the call of some far off distant land?
    I can only answer, that depends.

    It all depends on where He needs me,
    For where he leads me my feet must go.
    It may be down an unfamiliar pathway
    Or cross the mountains so bleak with snow.
    His faithful hand will always guide me.
    He’ll walk beside me, let come what may.
    Why should I dread the night?
    My faith has found its sight.
    I’ll do his will through the rest of my life.

  84. One of the bachelor’s followed me and liked some stuff on Instagram. Kinda. Weird. I don’t have a TV so I don’t know. I remember a sociologist doing a documentary about dating in America. He saved up and recorded 50 dates and eventually married his second date. Seems entirely realistic that when you’re ready it’s not the 50th person it’s the handful that you connected with.

  85. I’ve always thought the Bachelor was like a Deli. Lots of numbers handed out hoping to be called upon. Yikes! (And giggles.) I’m super glad your intuitive enough to know your worthy of so much more!! Our son’s flying in to CLE on Thursday…just sayin’ wink-wink. Hugs & Blessings to you!

  86. I don’t know why I’m saying this, ‘cuz I’m twenty three and never have a date so who am I to give advice…I think when the right one comes along, it will catch you by surprise, and I think he will be a lot like your father…Keep waiting on your Father Who has the best plans for you!!! 🙂

  87. Thanks for liking my blog posts. I think you are a wonderful girl and there must be someone just as wonderful out there waiting for you! I’m still searching for mine too 🙂 Wish us both luck on this journey.

  88. Fidelity. With fides, the latin word. And as heard in church, such as in hymns
    It’s a theme in the post…
    Yes, “undivided attention” is a way of life, and is a more stable thing

  89. Keep the faith! Psalms 37:4 has been close to my heart this year…”Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” (NIV) He will bring you your soul mate. BTW Great choices on your part. Thank you for the encouragement to stay true to our faith. Peace Milly

  90. I recently had lunch with a friend up in Tacoma who is 35 years old and was married about 3 months ago. We are very good friends and when he lived down here in Vancouver he would often share with me his ache over not having a relationship with a woman. He tried on-line dating, went swing-dancing, and all sorts of things to put himself in a position to develop a relationship with a woman. Eventually he sort of gave up – and then he met his future wife. The point? God has His timing, and for some reason He just doesn’t always consult with us on our opinion about it. Be of strong heart and good cheer; your best interests are being carefully looked after by a very good matchmaker.

    • 1 thing I like telling sisters in Christ is God is the best wingman anyone can have. Goes the same for love adviser too. He doesn’t just see what your mentors- the people you’ll go for godly counsel for- see.. he sees EVERYTHING.. in deepest measures too. Who can beat that?

  91. You’re absolutely right! God didn’t bring you through all of your difficult experiences to just abandon you. 🙂 Trust in Him and in His perfect plan for you. Pray and ask Him to bring your future husband into your life. (Maybe the Mr Right is already there and you haven’t noticed him as yet? :)). God Bless! — Your sister-in-Christ.

  92. Love this! You give a lot of hear to your writing and there’s more for you then simply words. Your hope and faith will demonstrate the biggest blessing of all. The sense of peace and a new life in and through Him. Thank you for your stories through your life and how you can reach a whole new perspective when giving our faith to God

  93. “my self worth to go through that dumpster fire of depreciation.” <—- Love that !!!!! Great article, I can identify with a lot of points you made. I also thought for a millisecond about auditioning for married at first sight, glad I didn't, lol. I'm trusting God's plan and patiently praying and waiting for Mr. Right!! Thanks for sharing!!!

  94. Caralyn, are back in NYC full time?!! As always, I love reading your heart, which is so beautiful! Have a wonderful day. 💟✝️💟

    • Hey Terese! Aw thanks so much! I’m back here for the next month or so! Just flip flopping back and forth for a while. 🙂 thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

  95. I think it is natural to want to get through something quickly. As you know from experiencing the things you have overcome, though, it’s not worth trying to rush through something important to you (not trying to compare dating and marriage to illnesses…lol). And marriage is definitely something worth NOT rushing into, no matter how badly one wants it. Just hang in there, take each day as it comes, and enjoy the ride.

  96. I admire your strength and your drive to keep on going and waiting on the Lord’s direction on allowing Him to let you know when the time is right for your future husband to come along. More than likely, whenever we think of trying to rush and be with someone, moving on our own ‘humanly instincts’, something, in the end, never turns out right without God’s Hand or directions in it… and you’re right: “To compete with about 20 other women may have been just too much to handle, and I don’t know how the popular lifestyles are, but years ago, I used to watch dating shows, and throughout the shows, the same man eventually makes out with a few (if not all) the ladies; no offense. But by you stepping away from that kind of environment, and choosing to care for your mother, was the greatest decisions that you can ever make. That is a gift and a blessing to hear! 🙂

  97. Hi BBB,

    Have a great week. Get back into the NY flow, right? Hope you have some good answers coming,


    On Thu, Jul 13, 2017 at 4:01 PM, BeautyBeyondBones wrote:

    > beautybeyondbones posted: “Well The Bachelor auditions were today. And > before you fall out of your chair, no I didn’t go. However, I’m not gonna > lie, I was thisclose. I even showered for the occasion…which…let’s > just say, is a big deal 😉 hah JK JK #HygieneIsImportant ” >

  98. Hi Carolyn, I’m a little late with this one..but I do know exactly how you feel and what you’re talking about. Sometimes I feel as if God has abandoned me or never assigned me a mate for some reason or another. I see myself going down this conveyor belt along with many other babies and this is the conveyor belt where God matches mates with babies, so later in life you’ll meet this person and so forth. But I get the feeling that right when he was about to assign me a mate – some angels got into a ruckus and he stopped for a moment to handle them, when he turned around to start back assigning, he stamped the next baby and there I was left without knowing whom my mate is, in which I wasn’t assigned one – Could this be the reason I always had issues with relationships and none never worked out? While that’s my story of how I feel like things went down and I’m sticking with it…LOL! I do feel that God knows our hearts and his word says (paraphrasing) that he didn’t create man to be alone but to have a helper. Your man is out there and I believe just like Glenn stated, he’ll come when you least expect it. Keep Believing, Keep Praying and Keep Going. God has someone special just for you! I believe that!! Much Love!

    • Thanks so much Linda! Haha yeah, I spend a lot of time in the kitchen doing food prep so i wanted it to be my happy place with all the people I love 🙂 hehe Hugs and love xox

  99. Oh my gosh I could just hug you!!! You’re ridiculously gorgeous inside and out and I hope that you never allow anyone or anything rob you of that. I’m a fresh 30 year old and thought I’d be married by 24 at the latest. I have un-regrettably turned down 4 proposals. I know, “She’s crazy” is probably coming to your mind but honestly I just heard Abba whispering “He’s not the one” for all of them. And for a years I struggled with trying to fix myself for a man, trying to get a man, and resenting God. THEN I read a book and it blew my mind. I felt totally called out for wasting time I was being blessed with and for resenting things I didn’t have instead of celebrating what God has given me. I recommend reading it for those hard days when loneliness is raging within. I can’t wait to read more!

  100. People are going to be super judgy about this comment but that’s ok… I think you will GET IT.
    I had been dating for a few years in Denver… a much larger city than where I grew up. I then moved back home and continued dating to no avail. I decided to take a different approach because I wanted to find a MAN, not a man-boy. The dating pool in which I was fishing was filled with man-boys whose conversations revolved around fantasy football leagues, beer-of-the-month clubs, etc. etc. Man-boys who wore baseball caps and baggy pants, didn’t open doors for their dates and on and on. These men were playing at life, playing at being men. They just were not what I was looking for; where were the MEN?
    I bought two books that changed my life; The Rules, and How to Marry a Millionaire. I did not end up with my millionaire, but I did find the love of my life after I learned how to change the pool where I was looking for love.
    I’m telling you this because you are already familiar with the concept and action of making changes to get what you want. I some times teach etiquette & behavioral changes. There is ALWAYS someone who thinks they never have to change to get what they want but you have overcome this and are living the healthy life that you want BECAUSE you made the conscientious decision to do whatever it took to get what you want. You can use that same determination to find your man. He is out there and he is the one God has chosen for you. Sometimes, however, there is action we must take to get what God has for us. We see this example many times in the bible. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with you. I’m saying you may be fishing in the wrong waters. It may be time to shake things up again and to do what you must to get what you want.

  101. Hi. I saw you mentioned on Authentically 50’s site and stopped by to check out your posts. Found a good one and will keep looking at more. Just wanted to say hi and make a new connection. I’m on here too. -Jay

  102. Just a little reminder about a husband. I have a bachelor son looking and waiting also! I think he’s a little old for you he’s 39 or I’d suggest a meet and greet. Anyway the little reminder is if you marry an unbeliever you take Satan as your father in law! #justawordtowait

  103. You caught me off guard for a second. When I found myself single again, there was no way that the Bachelorette was an option. However, a free Christian dating site was since I had little income. I tell others now to run like the wind before they ever consider that. I learned so much about myself and others. It did give me some long distance ministry opportunities because they all lived far away. If I can ever write a post without cringing from those memories, I may post about the experience. I’m thankful that God intervened and allowed me to meet the lady who is now my wife. God’s ways are indeed higher than ours.

  104. Caralyn,
    I am so proud to know you. And I will definitely ditto/piggyback what purpleslobinrecovery said, I’m glad that you decided against auditioning in the lust fest. You are Priceless. All women are and need to recognize that!
    In my opinion and I mean no offense to any one, but going on those types of shows does not show anything positive. It does not reflect positive, healthy, moral living. The complete opposite. Those types of shows promote lust, sexual immorality, breaking God’s commandments, cheating, lying, pride, conceit, hate, anger, jealousy, etc.. Is this what our world has come to? What our kids and grand-kids have to look forward to? FInding society’s version of ‘love” on a disgusting tv show.
    A meat market on the corner would be more sanitary and productive. lol. just kidding sort of.
    Caralyn, I know that you have probably heard this before and you mentioned a similar statement that in God’s timing you will find the love you were meant to have in your life. I know that it is hard to wait. I had given up when I met my now husband. We met at a karaoke bar and for the first 7 years of our on and off again relationship, we had so many battles. His alcohol my baggage, insecurities, depression, etc…It took humility on both our parts handed down by God to bring us to the altar two months ago. It will happen when it is meant to happen. God has a special plan for you.
    Love and blessings,

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