Last Minute Miracles

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

This is now, probably the 19th time I’ve tried to start this post.

All unsuccessfully, I might add. And given that it’s 6:00pm, and this post is set to publish in less than an hour, it’s safe to say, the pressure’s on.

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My mom sent me a photo yesterday. It’s of her on the top of a mountain. You see, she and my dad have been out West for a while, and hiking is one of their favorite things to do.

And looking at my beautiful mother, literally on top of the world, I just kind of smiled to myself and thought, how appropriate.

These past six months, she has been climbing her way back after her stroke. Little by little, every day. Every small decision, and challenging effort consistently done over and over, have been adding up. And seeing her atop this mountain, it was pretty glaringly symbolic, at least in my mind, of the champion and fighter she is.

God had shown up for her, in a big way.

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Since then I’ve been reflecting a lot on God’s faithfulness.

Because as I mentioned in my post last week, I’ve been feeling pretty abandoned recently. And this weekend was no different, despite efforts to pull myself out of the funk……perhaps even including a spontaneous dance party to some vintage Backstreet Boys.

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But I realized today that God is never early or late. His faithfulness comes, often times at the very last minute.

Earlier today I received word from my agent that I booked not one but two great gigs in Ohio in the next couple weeks. Gigs that will allow me to come home and see my mom and check in. And in fact, one of the gigs falls right over when she’s getting a heart procedure done, so I will be able to be there for it.

I mean, talk about giving your child what she needs.

And this is not some lame attempt at a humble brag. If you know anything about the business, a double booking in one day never happens. This was a stroke of luck. Or rather…a stroke of divine intervention.

God provided, not only financially, but gave me an opportunity to come back and spend time with my #1 warrior and hero.

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I’m not here to say that God is a genie that grants wishes and makes auditions go well. Though, if He were, that’d be pretty frickin’ awesome.

What I am saying, is that even when we do feel abandoned, we need to remember that God is always at work, and weaving things together for our good. We just can’t see it.

Part of the reason I’m so behind on this post is because the one I did write for tonight was pretty down. Pretty bleak. I’ll publish it over on Patreon. But at the end of the day, it was expelling a sadness that, yes – I have been dealing with, but that is not the end of the story.

Feeling spiritually empty is merely a comma – a pause. And God reminded me today that He hasn’t forgotten. And we can place our trust in His faithfulness.

Sometimes He’s just waits until the last minute. And that’s okay.

God showed up for my mom by way of a literal majestic mountain top experience. For me, He gave me an itinerary to refill the chasms of my soul at home.

Thanks, God. I owe you one.

Maybe I should be taking note that despite all of my best resistance efforts, God is gently trying to lead me back home.

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

274 thoughts on “Last Minute Miracles”

  1. Powerful and reaffirming, as per usual! I can’t boast enough how inspiring your honesty filled posts are; I think your follower count and likes attest to it, even if that’s not really where I wanted to take this train of that. Oops. Sidetracked as usual! 😅 What I meant is your honesty is appreciated by plenty of people!
    I think that part that resonated the most for me was the part about feeling spiritual emptiness being only a comma-a pause…beautifully stated. 🙌🏼 that one will stick with me. One last thing: congratulations on the double booking! I hope the gig goes well for you, but more than that I sincerely hope you enjoy visiting home. 💜🌸

    Liked by 1 person

    1. haha a triple booking, now that’ll be the day! thanks so much Rick, you’re always such a source of positivity and encouragement, and I hope you know how much it means to me. Thanks for the prayers, yeah – so much to be grateful for 🙂 big hugs and prayers to you too xox

      Like

  4. I will be praying for your mom and her healthcare team! God is always on time, for me, it is usually at the very last moment. I know he is teaching me a lesson with this and sadly it is one I fail. I have to be more expectant and not worry so much I guess. I am so excited for you! As always you are in my prayers daily

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Tawnya. You’re right – never early, and never late. Hang in there friend. I’m having to learn that too. Patience is not my strong suit. thanks for your prayers. know that you are in mine too! big hugs x

      Liked by 1 person

  6. It’s all in His timing. I’ve been reading a lot about this subject and even wrote about it myself recently. God’s timing is something I’ve struggled with but I’m slowly starting to realize the more I try in do in my time the longer it takes

    Liked by 1 person

  7. You should definitely take it as a sign. I’m sure she needs your presence to bring her some peace of mind before her procedure, and if you can’t make it before how wonderful of a surprise it would be to show up after! I’m sure she’d love to see her daughter!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Loveli! thanks for this. you’re so right – i should definitely take it as a sign. I want to be there for her, and so this is right where I’m meant to be. 🙂 Thanks for that powerful perspective. sending hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You should check out my last post! I’m definitely sharing some similar feelings as far as just not being in a great emotional state the past few weeks. It’s always a great idea to bring yourself back into perspective and be thankful for everything you have!

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  9. So good! This is super encouraging, especially having had a similar experience recently where God waited until the very last minute to change what I thought were His plans (they weren’t, they were my own! whoops!). I love this, and your blog, so much encouragement that I really appreciate! Keep it up x

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much! That’s so kind of your to say:) yes! He definitely has me securely in the palm of His hand and I need to remember that the next time doubt creeps in 🙂 thanks for your encouragement. Hope you have a great night! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I have great friends in Ohio who also know the wonder and love of God. Maybe one day you will meet them too as even further proof of how not abandoned you are. X

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I so wholeheartedly agree — God is in the business of miracles when we most need them and least expect them. (I literally wrote about the exact same thing the other day:)

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It’s hard to listen sometimes. We have so much in our lives that is loudly trying to grab our attention away from the quiet voice of God.

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  17. The Lord does not prove his faithfulness by making the path smooth. It is by giving us a problem to let us test our strength, and then giving us the strength when ours is not sufficient.

    I am so amazed at the work he has done in you, Caralyn. You are a blessing to your mother – you are a means used by God to bring her strength.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. On the Sunday we were in The Finger Lakes, we went to Mass at this church in Ovid, NY that we like to go to. The Pastor there said that God shows signs even when its not highly pronounced or as we would say “in our faces”. He’s always there for us, even if its not in a big way at every moment. He’s been there for me, he’s been there for you. Sending big hugs and love! xoxo

    Liked by 2 people

  20. Spiritual emptiness terrifies me. It’s similar to a severe lack of sleep, but far worse because of the utter loneliness it can bring with it. Even knowing that it’s only for a moment in life, dealing with it upfront is draining to say the least. Reminders that God hasn’t forgotten about us are so vital in these empty moments. Good luck with your Ohio gigs!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thanks for sharing this, Connor. I think that’s a really accurate comparison with the lack of sleep – so true! you’re right – we are not forgotten. thanks for stopping by and for your encouraging words! big hugs xo

      Liked by 1 person

  22. We all feel abandoned by God at some point and time in our life. When we do we must always go back to the Cross and remember the words of Jesus, “My God, My God, why have You abandoned me?” Our goal in life is always to become Christ-like, how can we do this if we do not understand His sufferings and His joys?

    When things like this come upon me, I always say, “Thank You Lord for loving me so much, that you let me feel some of what You felt.” I also say this when someone hurts or persecutes me, “Thank you for making me feel like Jesus.” Kind of stops them in their tracks.

    As St. Bridget of Sweden said, “He is an Unfathomable Wound of Mercy.” At times His greatest mercy to us, is when we begin to understand His feelings and hurts.

    I am so happy to hear about your Mom. What a great blessing. As I was reading this post I was seeing the death and resurrection of Christ, in your Mom. I was also seeing the joy in you which reminded me of the joy of the apostles when Jesus rose. So see, you are not alone. I love you and God Bless, SR

    Liked by 1 person

    1. that is such a powerful reminder to go back to the cross. this is so beautiful, thank you friend. yeah, my mom has been through a lot and just radiates His love. I am truly blessed to be her daughter. thanks for this soul-touching response. you are a blessing to me. hugs xo

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  23. This sounds very much like how my travel weeks sometimes just blow up on me, but then work out better than planned.

    You’ve had a lot of upset to your life, starting last December. As painful as it was, you got back to basics; family, home, mother, and the blessing of being a huge part of your mom’s recovery. Life got as real as it ever has since making past your ED low point. Maybe even more so, because this time it was about someone else.

    In my experience, it’s harder to watch someone go through something than to go through it yourself. You had everything else stripped away but the most intimate and important thing – a relationship with a loved one in need.

    So of course you feel empty now. Of course there’s a gap that is not easily filled. Even though things got challenging starting in December, you’ve been feasting on steak in your spirit and soul. You were doing the most purposeful thing one can do; being a loving servant to someone.

    Now that she’s making more and more decisions herself and your dad is spending that time with her, you’ve relegated yourself to NYC, drinking with friends, and the Backstreet Boys. By comparison, you’re subsisting on fast food.

    Let me take just one step further and play opposites with you as we have before. What if you haven’t been abandoned at all? What if you did the abandoning of that which is best by going back to NYC and your lifestyle pre-stroke? How lived before wasn’t wrong, but it was what you could handle. Maybe it was even your medicine from God to help you build your confidence and bring you truly out into the open. You’ve shown so much growth that, from where I sit, it was all part of His plan. And I’m not trying to suggest that NYC is the wrong choice; just that you might need to rethink how you live there. I have no idea what that might look like or mean, but, well, there it is.

    Listen, I hate to bug you, but I sent you an email last Wednesday. I had an idea that might at least get your brain revving in a good direction. Maybe it’s a good idea or not, but it might set your mind in another direction. Who knows?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow Jeff this hit right in the heart strings. Thank you so much. This really is a sobering perspective and gives me so much to think about. Playing opposites is a really revealing thing to do – it’s how a lot of great directors work with their actors. Thanks. And yes I read the email! Just haven’t had a chance to respond. Thanks 🙂 sending hugs hugs x

      Liked by 1 person

  24. Beautiful blog and yay for God coming through for you in such a big way!
    You are truly a beautiful and godly woman because you are keeping your heart pliable towards God, even when you’re hurting.
    So much of life is grief and joy intermingled. Celebrate the good and look for God in the hard things.
    So much love for you, Sierra

    Liked by 1 person

  25. So proud of your mom!! That’s amazing. Congrats on the two gigs- that’s amazing too! I’m so proud of you!! And I absolutely LOVE the picture of you at the end- you are beautiful, inside and out!!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Reminds me of the story of Lazarus! God is always on time….not our time, but HIS time! He knows what we need more than we know what we need. He loves us and knows the number of hairs on our head! Glory to God! Listen to this song called 4 Days Late by Karen Peck and New River! It’s a good one and I used to listen to it with my grandpa when he was still alive. Xoxo 😘

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Glad you waited. This is a much nicer read than what could have been. I imagine God saying, “Stop the presses! Here’s some good news for you to report!” I’m just now starting to learn all over again God was at work in my life even when I thought He had abandoned me.
    So did your mother really climb a mountain?

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Reblogged this on Tailored Hearts and commented:
    Love this post! Such a beautiful reminder that God is in control. Even when it’s hard or even seems impossible, trust Him. It is normal for a person to feel as if they are faltering in their faith, but keep giving it to God and never give up!

    Liked by 1 person

  32. God has held me up many times, from a human perspective only. But never to my detriment. I take care of that, thank you. But His unique way of bringing things together — sometimes I perceive even a tinge of His sense of humor in it, but maybe that’s just me — is an amazing thing to behold.

    God bless you and your Mom and Dad. Take care of yourself. Prayers for you all.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. “I realized today that God is never early or late. His faithfulness comes, often times at the very last minute.” Well said and very true.

    Thank you for this post. I needed it tonight.

    Blessings

    Jim

    Liked by 2 people

  34. I had someone close to me tell me once, that often times we impose our expectations on God’s time and find ourselves wallowing in self-pity because things didn’t work out they way we expected and then we begin to question God…
    …ugh…
    …I think I just had an epiphany…forget what I said, I don’t know anything other than God does what he thinks is best and now what we think is best.

    Anyways, that picture of “out west” looks extremely familiar…and I’m “out west” from your side of the country. Were your mom and dad hiking in the places I love? What a cool possibility! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  35. Today I read the story about 2 of Jesus’ followers who were distraught that Jesus’ body was gone after His resurrection. Jesus came beside them and asked why they were upset, but they didn’t realize it was Him, until later in the evening while they ate dinner together. It made me realize that Jesus is always beside us, even when He seems distant or silent. He’s not far at all, we just don’t realize He’s right beside us. Then I read your post and you wrote the same idea – which is so beautiful how God will double reassurance for us when we need it most…like He doubled your blessing of 2 auditions. I will say a prayer for you that they go well! ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  40. God loves you and is demonstrating it to you! Getting to be home to support your mom and working at double bookings is God’s kiss to you. He loves you so much. It is a joy to read your post. You may have felt down, but God has you covered!

    Liked by 1 person

  44. Reblogged this on tides&portions and commented:
    I like how such messages keep coming my way, just when I really do need them. Indeed God never sleeps nor slumbers…He’s watching over you. Remember that!

    Liked by 1 person

  45. You are such an inspiration – I love your blogs. Maybe you would be interested in a wonderful Christian fellowship called Heart”wings” that loves and supports writers (among many other things). I know they would love your witness and would love you back during the good and bad times of life. I would like to give you something back for your bravery and love of God. https://www.facebook.com/groups/jrgheartwings/ stop by and have a look – if you are interested please email me at: margaret@margaretkazmierczak.com – A big hug and many blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

  47. once again, you are in my back pocket. Tomorrow is uncertainty in spades. I pretended I was Gideon and asked for a sign, but it hasn’t come.
    ‘Sometimes He just wait til ‘my’ last minute. And that is ok.’
    Beautiful.

    Liked by 1 person

  50. Thank you. As of late, I too have been feeling abandoned. Personal circumstances have started proving “imprisoning”. I’ve prayed, asked, spoken to Him and nothing has changed. I always tells others to “keep the faith”, but obviously I’m not doing so. God Bless you for reminding ME to do that.

    Liked by 1 person

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