Virgin Shaming?

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

There are three things you should know about me.

Number One: My go-to drink is a vodka soda with two limes. With straight up-tequila coming in at a close second.

Number Two: It only takes 1/2 a drink for me to get notably tipsy.

Number Three: I am completely guarded in word and heart….until said tipsy state has been actuated.

Last night was one of those nights.

giphy

I was catching up with a good friend of mine up in Harlem. We were at this really cool speakeasy with smooth jazz, exposed brick, high concept cocktails, and where the menus are literally pasted into old hard-cover books.

She and I were having a great time. Chatting. Laughing. Making friends with the cute bartender. You know. A typical Tuesday night for your twenty-something New Yorker.

But as the night went along, and the conversation had turned to dating and the atrocity of the modern day, “Swipe-right“-App-driven dating scene, I found myself opening my heart to her about some of my fears and struggles when it comes to the romance department.

And you know how, when you’re a little loosy-goosy, you can almost hear yourself talking – completely self aware of how you’re coming off, and yet simultaneously you’ve willingly abandoned the ability to filter what it is you’re saying?

giphy-5

If that makes any sense at all?

Anyway, I’ll just cut to the chase here…

I literally heard these words come out of my mouth:

“I think I’m afraid to date because I fear that, because I’m a virgin, I won’t be enough for a man. I’d be a waste of time.”

And bless her heart, my friend was so kind and built me up and reassured me as any good friend would do.

But the following day, with sober-Caralyn reflecting on that cringe-worthy confession, it gave me a lot of emotions. A lot of “feels” – as the kids these days are saying. 😉

I’m going to be really honest – I’ve reached the age where, being a virgin is no longer “cute.” It’s more like…what’s wrong with her?

You all know my love for The Bachelor – and one of the themes that has come up recently on Bachelor in Paradise, – and frankly in the media at large – is the concept of “Virgin Shaming.”

And I can fully affirm, that that is absolutely, positively a real thing.

giphy-4

I know that my virginity is nothing to be ashamed of, and truthfully, it gives me so much joy and peace to know that I will be able to give that to my future husband one day, but the fact is…right now...I feel like less of a woman. I feel like I’m defective. Or undesirable. Frankly, I feel a lot of shame and embarrassment.


And let me just say, I’m not looking to be built up or complimented or anything like that. I’m just processing a comment I uttered when my walls were down that quite honestly, shocked me. Frankly, I thought I was “stronger” than letting the pressures of society get to me like that. But I guess, my inner heart can still be wounded, no matter how tough of defenses I try to enact.

I think I’m at a very dangerous crossroads of two very different paths. One, of a closed off existence, lived in fear and shame – having cowered away from even looking for a man, simply because I’m afraid of disappointing someone with my non-easiness. Or the other road, where I remain emotionally open and receptive to a relationship – dare I say: even seeking one out, with the confidence and assuredness in my decision to remain a virgin until marriage.

Because it’s either one or the other. There’s not really much grey area anymore – I’m either open to love, or I’m not. And am I really going to let my self-consciousness in the lack of knotches on my belt be the determining factor?

That would be quite the tragedy.

giphy-9

I guess, this is just my public proclamation, that I am not going to let the shame I may feel get the best of me and dictate the direction my life is going to take.

Because the fact is, I do have a lot to offer a man.

And I’m going to be a damn good wife, if I do say so myself.

giphy-8

But I can’t be afraid to put myself out there, just because I’m nervous about what he’ll say.

Will it be a deal breaker for some guys? Yes. Probably most guys.

But not for the guy. Not for the right guy.

But I’m not going to meet that guy if I just reject every offer that comes my way and swear off dating, simply because I’m afraid. That’s a pocket veto if I’ve ever seen one.

img_4204

SO. Before the month is over, I’m going to go on one date. By Oct 1. I have to stop turning down opportunities, and actually accept one date. I’m asking you to hold me accountable. Okay?

Kapeesh?

Good. Thanks. Glad that’s settled.

Now please excuse me while I go and try to ‘be approachable’ at Barnes & Noble.

giphy-7

***Thanks to everyone who has ordered by book, Bloom: A Journal by BeautyBeyondBones!***

Click here to order your copy!

img_5173
________________________________________________________________
Stay Connected!
@beauty.beyond.bones – Instagram

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube

A big thank you to my new sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy.  Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.

Next time you’re shopping on Amazon, be sure to use my link! Doing so is absolutely FREE for you, and a great way to support this blog!

patreon

Thank you for considering supporting BBB on Patreon! You make this blog possible 🙂

img_2714-1

Published by

Unknown's avatar

beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

703 thoughts on “Virgin Shaming?”

  1. Thank you for being real. Thank you for not tiptoeing around your faith. God is in the process of preparing an amazing man, worthy of you, battle scars and all. All the while, God is shaping you to be an amazing wife.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes! Trusting in His timing is hard, but when I have screwed things up enough on my own, its kinda easier to just give up and fall on Him!

        Like

  2. Wow! This is such an amazing post. I love your honesty. Its amazing how you feel the same emotions I feel. You’re a virgin and I’m not. I’ve done the save myself thing, then ended up divorced. I’ve done celibacy, but recently broke it. I feel the same feelings of inadequacy and some times I feel like damaged goods but every day I wake up I am reminded that I am just as new as the dawn. New happens over and over and over and guess what, there’s a place for every new thing just as there’s a place for every used thing. We are enough! You are a gem! God delights in you! He delights in me as well! Let’s agree not to believe those whispers anymore. We are the crown of our future husband. 👑👑👑

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Its not any better for a guy that is still a virgin by choice. I proudly gave – not lost – my virginity to my wife (before nuptials but she was the ONE and been together for almost 20 years). It’s hard not to be self conscious about it when it’s the subject your face in this age we live in. I wonder what to say to my daughters except maybe to tell them my story when it’s time. Everyone has their own path in life. You’re a beautiful woman and God will introduce you to your special someone. He did with me.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I just like to add that it isn’t easy staying on the narrow path (speaking spiritually/ physically and emotionally) It would be easy to throw that away and embrace the worlds way. It is all too common and in the worlds eyes the norm to shack up sleep around and cruise the pubs and bars for one night stands. The consequence though is treating yourself and others like commodities that you can sell and resell night after night. I don’t want to be a second or third hand commodity that passes myself around or is passed around by others. At the end of it all the expectations become unreasonable and unattainable because what is called normal healthy love is no longer satisfying. I don’t know about people my age but it appears that the younger generation has totally bought into Hollywood and the media’s version of casual sex and relationships. The real question is do the majority really live and feel this way or is it another false reality thrust on us as an ideal?

    Liked by 1 person

    3. What a wonderful, open post about virginity. It’s the first time I’ve seen such a thing. Remaining celibate until marriage can be hard. Really hard sometimes. But I too believe it will be worth it, if I get married. Even if I don’t (get married) I think it’s the right thing to hold fast to, because God says so. I can trust him, even when I don’t understand him.

      I’m even more encouraged that someone in their 20s still holds fast to God’s ways and standards instead of buying in to what the world says and continually tempts us to do.

      Like

  6. Hey Beauty, what an open post. ❤️ I don’t think you have to worry about virginity being a turn off. For many, it’s an open book of possibilities. Innocence is incredibly beautiful, alluring even. And though you’re open about this, it’s not really any of his business until YOU decide to make him a part of your life. By then, it’ll be a precious gift. So, my vote is that you go on dates, many of them, and enjoy yourself. Hugs, Lena

    Like

  7. Good on you for sharing. Your openess will inspire others to take that stand too. I was a virgin until I got married. I don’t think it will put any guy off, just give them more respect for you. And you will soon know if they are serious about you and share your values which is a big bonus. They won’t be hanging around for the wrong reasons. And glad your starting to open up …I’ve seen myself and friends go through that process and its not easy but it works! Go on lots of dates…a man experiment my friend called it to help her grow in confidence. Helped her look at the process in a positive light. God Bless

    Like

  9. Love this. High standards for ourselves and others are the opposite of shameful. So encouraging to know there are others out there in my same situation.

    Like

  11. In this day in age you are not the only one who feels that way! Many people who are saving there virginity including myself till marriage feel this shame because we are the odd ones out. It is glad to see I am not the only one who feels this way!❤️❤️❤️ -Izzy

    Liked by 1 person

  12. I’m glad you decided not to give in to peer pressure. It’s terrible that you have to go through this. I went through it when I was 19. I was a virgin, and both my best friends were not. I was also very shy and so I gave in out of desperation. I wish I had not,

    Like

      1. If only young girls could realize the shame in losing their virtue. Men have come to see women as a commodity, and young women have been duped by Feminism and our liberal society into thinking they can be free with it. If we could but reach them when they are young and convince them otherwise. Peer pressure is very difficult to fight against, and it takes strong support to withstand it.

        Like

  13. I tend to start writing when I feel a reaction to something you write/say just so I don’t lose the idea. If I don’t, well, it usually ends up being Gone With The Wind.

    So, your line “…I’m afraid of disappointing someone with my non-easiness.” Got me going. I started writing before I finished reading, so when I got done and then finished reading, you got where you should… for the most part. Still, I had fun. Maybe you’ll have some fun reading it.

    Like

  14. I hate that you have felt this way. I was a virgin until right before my 30th birthday. Granted, I didn’t wait until I was married but the only man I have been with is my late husband. I never regretted that. I never said “You know, I with I slept around more.” I was happy. (Not that there is anything wrong if someone else makes a different choice. To each their own.

    I have no clue what Chapter 2 of my great love story will entail. But I am glad you are going to go on one date. Being open is one of the best ways to improve your life by giving you more opportunities.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. I think it’s awesome that you’re saving yourself. I was a teenager during the “true love waits” movement and most of the people I knew signed cards, did not keep their vow.
    I waited and I’m proud of it. Didn’t even date till I was 22 and we got married that same year.
    I’m also gonna brag on my oldest kid, him and his girlfriend are taking deliberate steps to wait till their wedding night.
    You said you’re not looking for compliments, but you’re definitely not going to regret your decision at all. Hang in there, it’s always darkest before the dawn. (that didn’t sound soo lame till I typed it)

    Like

  16. Dudette: You have nothing for which to feel uncomfortable or ashamed. A beautiful, intelligent, faithful Catholic woman who is willing to give her husband — and only her husband — that which is most precious, which she will only be sharing with him and he with her the rest of their lives? That is PRECIOUS!!! It is also awesome, humbling, and beautiful.  Now go findest thou a husband to wed. In Christ,your friend, Brian

    From: BeautyBeyondBones To: oneelbk@yahoo.com Sent: Thursday, 14 September 2017, 19:01 Subject: [New post] Virgin Shaming? #yiv5701392013 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv5701392013 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv5701392013 a.yiv5701392013primaryactionlink:link, #yiv5701392013 a.yiv5701392013primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv5701392013 a.yiv5701392013primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv5701392013 a.yiv5701392013primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv5701392013 WordPress.com | beautybeyondbones posted: “There are three things you should know about me.Number One: My go-to drink is a vodka soda with two limes. With straight up-tequila coming in at a close second.Number Two: It only takes 1/2 a drink for me to get notably tipsy.Number Three: I am comp” | |

    Like

  17. Its hard when everything is viewed as all or nothing. One has to be fully dating, with full sexual experiences and etc.. etc… or they are a cast out, cast off, hermit etc.. etc.. etc.. Its sad that nobody can date casually, slowly, and find what’s right, what’s comfortable, and wait until the time when more deeper things are right. Do what’s right for you. Don’t push so hard that it doesn’t feel right. Don’t get yourself into something that makes you be so attached and then they take advantage or even add in some degree of abuse, taking you for granted etc.. Take your time as YOUR time. That way you can get a better feel for “this is right, I’ll keep dating him, or this isn’t and I don’t want to go furhter”. God Bless with all the hugs, love and encouragement!! xoxoxoxo

    Like

  18. I pray that the Holy Spirit will give you both an emotional and spiritual understanding of how precious you really are right now. The saints are in the grandstands wildly cheering you on. And so are we who read your blog.

    Like

  19. I think I’ve already told you my thoughts about this… I know exactly how you feel. But everything you said is right… this won’t be a deal breaker to the right person.

    If you can get yourself to northern California, I’m available for your one date 😉 😛

    Like

  20. I love the depth to which you share, and I had no shame in offering my virginity to my wife almost twenty years ago.

    I was playing a game with two females one time, and one of them said, “Girls rule boys drool.” Hollywood and our Godless culture has perpetuated that lie, and purity has taken a back seat to I can do what I want when I want. Not everyone is having sex as some advance. There are those committed to sexual purity in marriage between a man and a woman, not because it’s a “patriarchal concept”, but because it’s the way God created the relationship between a husband and a wife.

    Ecclesiastes says there’s nothing new under the sun, and that’s true, but sex can certainly be new even with the same spouse forty years later. The beautiful thing about beliefs is that you can accept or reject them, so when a thought comes into your head ask yourself if you’re going to believe it or reject it. If you believe it what will you do with that belief?

    I had to add my two cents. Grace and peace Caralyn.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. My high school youth pastor was explaining a story about teen peer pressure and shaming. A girl was being shamed for her virginity and she responded by saying, “I can become like you anytime I want to. But, you can never be like me.” For some reason after all these years that has still stuck with me. Sadly, sex sells and they’ve positioned their brand very well and hooked everyone when they were young. It’s tragic to see how people turn their issues around on others. They mock the sober, the chaste, the virtuous, the prudent. Proverbs 31 still holds true. Hang in there! Only you can decide if and when it’s time. Thanks so much for sharing your world!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Right on! You gave nothing to fear, and you are right: you do have a lot to offer to your husband. You stand on principle, even when it unpopular in contemporary culture. You’re an overcomer. You know from Whom your identity comes. You have a heart for people. You reciprocate the love and support of your family. And you’re rather lovely. Those criteria are important to any young bachelor who follows Jesus (I would know 😁). A young lady with these qualities would certainly draw my attention.

    I’m in a new town (Redding, CA), so I too have the opportunity to renew my approach to dating (more like actually approaching it 🤣). Never forget that the right man for you will appreciate the little things about you that make other guys leave, he will love you the way that the other important men in your life have done, and that you’re worth enough for Jesus to take your place on the cross.

    You’re a catch, Caralyn. Be yourself.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. This post reminds me of the latest episode of Midnight Texas. Fiji, a beautiful, shy witch is being targeted by a demon. When all of the other characters ask her “Why is this demon so obsessed with you?”

    Because she’s a virgin witch. When she said it out loud she followed up with “This is the most embarrassing moment of my life!” And then ran and hid in a corner.
    I found it odd since the other characters didn’t make any rude comments. They were focused on keeping her safe from the demon.

    It’s interesting how in modern culture associates sex with maturity. I lost my virginity to my husband when I was 26 but my niece who had a baby at 16 proudly tells people she lost her virginity at 13 to a really hot 16-year-old she met at a house party.

    Like

  26. I so want to hug you now, Sister, because I know what you’re going through. I never say that unless it really is true. Like you, I made the decision at a young age to wait for marriage. I felt the shame and self-doubt that came with it, but I held strong because I believed this was God’s way. I lost my virginity when I was 38 – very late by modern standards – but I was not married. I don’t regret that. I had had a talk with God that I was renouncing my vow to wait for marriage, because I no longer believed God’s way and waiting for marriage were the same thing.
    I’m not saying you are wrong. At your age, I absolutely believed waiting for marriage was the right thing, and changing my mind would mean betraying God. So why did I change my mind? That’s too long a story to tell in a “comment.” I’m only telling you to be honest, and in case one day you change your mind, it’s okay.
    I know you probably won’t change your mind now. And I know the challenges that come with that. So if you really believe this is the right way for whatever reason – it’s God’s will, God will bless you for it, protecting yourself from STD’s, or because you want your wedding night to be extra special – don’t be ashamed of it. And if one day you do change, don’t do it out of pressure or fear of losing the guy. Only change if you believe it’s the right thing for you, your man, and your relationship with God. If I could add anything to scripture, it would be this line from Shakespeare: This above all, to thine own self be true. If you’re not true to yourself, you can’t be true to God.
    I think you are right that when you meet the right man, he will respect this path you have chosen. But I need to say a few things on his behalf. First, be careful what you wear. Russell Wilson and Ciara declared they were going to wait for marriage. Sometimes I looked at what Ciara was wearing and thought, “If they really are telling the truth, she’s torturing him.” Second, do take time to get to know each other, but don’t make the courtship too long. Even if he is willing to wait for you, waiting is going to be tough (for both of you), so wait as long as you need but no longer. Finally, when it came to my fiancée, I told her I didn’t want her to do anything she would regret afterwards. If he is right for you, he will say the same.

    Like

    1. Aw David, you’re the best. Thank you so much. And thanks for sharing your story with me. And thank you for this perspective. Yeah there are many different paths and God loves all of us 🙂 to thine own self be true – ahh good old Billy Shakes. 😉 always Hittin us with a dose of wisdom that Bill. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  27. I love you as always. I love your way of saying difficult things to say with ease and grace and it is just so endearing! Anyway, whereas individual people are largely wonderful, society as a whole pretty much sucks, so what they dictate as normal is pretty much the opposite of what God wants. So if you don’t feel you fit in because you are doing what us right, muster up some pride for that, friwnd, because it means you have arrived at alien, where Christians live. We are aliens, just passing through. And I am so jealous because you don’t have the guilt and shame and broken attachments on a horrifying level that we non-virgins have to forgive and go through pain for and get over later, as if that is a thing. Forgiveness is the real deal, though. But good for you. Love you. Stay the way you are, it is refreshing and perfect. Hugs!❤😄

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw Tonya, thank you so much. It seriously means so much. You’re right – we’re just passing through. The beautiful thing is is that God makes us new every morning. 🙂 amen to that. Hugs and love xox

      Like

  28. I loved this message but one particular phrase made me uneasy. You stated “I’m afraid of disappointing someone with my non-easiness.” I, along with the majority of other women in our twenties ,enjoy sex but aren’t “easy.” That is assuming that sex is only what meant want and that if a woman also enjoys and wants to engage, she is less. I know you probably didn’t mean it in this way, but this is just my little tidbit of feed back.

    Like

    1. Thanks so much Adri. I’m so sorry that phrase was hurtful for you. That definitely wasn’t my intent. At all. Every single person is entitled to make their own decisions when it comes to physical intimacy, and I totally respect that. Just because a woman chooses to become intimate absolutely does not make her “easy,” and I see now the negative connotation that can be attached to that word. I truly am sorry. Thank you for pointing this out to me. Big hugs xox

      Like

  29. Ugh. I have so many thoughts on this! Why should it be shameful to do something that leads to less heartache, protects yourself from disease, and allows you to get to know someone, really know them? (I don’t mean this as disrespect to anyone, but just believe these are some truths). In college in the 90’s I was made fun of and looked upon as a novelty act, like ‘how cute’, because I was saving myself. In a horrific game of ‘Where’s the most exotic place you’ve done it’, played with our ‘brother dorm floor’, I watched over 3/4 of the room all list their place & I was sweating by the time it came to me. “Haven’t.” My short answer. And I heard some guy “whisper” ‘Does she mean she’s NEVER had sex before?!’ My face was flaming!

    In today’s culture, I don’t envy young women in the dating world. There’s a certain mystery that comes with waiting; you get to be mysterious because they have to get to know the many facets of you. You don’t just lay it all out there by date 3. There are so many things to be gained by waiting. I watched a TV show where couple A was on their second date and ended up in bed, and couple B was on their second date and had some GREAT kissing & then fell asleep on the couch in their clothes. There’s so much adventure and romance in living like couple B, but what’s now expected is couple A. I think a lot of guys are missing out when they won’t wait. (When my boyfriend & I broke up, my counselor suggested that we broke up because I wouldn’t ‘put out’. That’s the kind of shaming and pressure that was out there in the 90’s!)

    If I had to guess, I’m guessing there are other 20 somethings just like you. In that horrific ‘game’ I played, I was the first to admit I was still a virgin, but after my turn? 3 other girls admitted they, too, were just like me. I encourage you to accept it as a valid way to live and that you and a future guy will have all the fun of getting to know each other, really know each other, and have A LOT of romance; accept that there are so many pluses that come with waiting. Once you own it, it’ll be that much easier for a guy to accept it.

    Like

  30. I feel you, girl. I am exactly lik you in this, still a virgin. Virgin shaming is “real”. But I don’t give a thing coz I am not ready yet and I will give it to only “the one”. Hugs and love…

    Liked by 1 person

  31. Head up dear sister, stand tall, shoulders back….you are the woman that a man wants as a wife.
    Be choosy who you date. If they are not following Christ with their whole hearts, as you are then don’t waste
    your time or his.
    You have nothing to feel or be ashamed about. When the right man comes along all that awkwardness will melt away.

    Like

  32. Don’t you dare sell yourself cheap! I’m not about to build you up and say you’re gorgeous and beautiful and all that, although you are. What I will say is that you are God’s masterpiece, His workmanship in Christ and the price that He paid for you is because you’re worth it! There’s a guy out there right now saying the same thing to himself, that he could sleep around, but he’s coming to the same conclusion that you are. HE’S going to save himself for his wife, because she’s with it and so am I.
    KEEP THE LIGHT ON!

    Like

  34. What does it say about our culture when you are living the virtue of chastity and feel bad (or at least a little wierd) about it?
    I say good for you! Keep your standards up because you are doing it right.

    Like

  35. Caralyn, thanks for sharing such a vulnerable post! That took guts! I’m in the same boat as you, but I’m 34… Still hoping and praying fervently that God still has marriage in store for me…!

    It’s true that the culture is all about shaming that which is good, not only virginity, but those who doesn’t curse, cheat, or actually DO play by the rules in life, doing the “right thing.” And, I’m apt to think the reason behind this stance is because purity convicts people of their impurity, creating personal regret and uncomfortability (if that was a word!), which is difficult to handle when you can’t go back and change things.

    But as Paul told the Corinthians, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death.” (2 Cor. 7:10) So, there is hope for those who regret choices they made if they allow themselves to hear that still small voice… And, just as someone previously mentioned, God can make the impure, pure before Him. It’s God who makes all things new! One day, we will all praise Him together!

    Like

  36. Huh! I am confused. Speakeasy, Volka and the male gender. I am so confused. Didn’t you just post the other
    a day about wanting to make preparation and live right before God? I have been trying to work with you for three years and you still don’t get it. I’m getting a headache just from trying to help you… You make me weep. I don’t mean to sound cruel however look at it from my perspective for one moment. I gave up so much of the world to follow after Jesus. I don’t want to be a just a Sunday Christian, but rather an everyday Christian. ” A friend of the world is an enemy of God. I’d rather be a friend of Jesus than a friend to the world. Your faith has fractures in it. I love sinners but I hate the sin, do you know that every night I pray for you to get right before God? You wear the cross around your neck, but I carry the cross with Jesus daily. I’m studying the word, you trample the word underfoot. Do you know a friend if Rapture was to take place well you were in there you wouldn’t go. Carolyn dont wait too long, please…

    Like

    1. Hi Anthony, thanks for stopping by tonight. I appreciate your prayers. All I can say is that Jesus is in my heart. I love Him. I will occasionally have a drink or two with my friends a few times a month. And I see nothing wrong with that. I think it gives Jesus joy to see me enjoying my time with friends, since I had such a dark period in my past where I pushed friends away when I was in my anorexia. So I think it makes Him happy to see me socializing with friends. I’m sorry you feel my faith isn’t good enough. Thanks again for taking the time to read. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 2 people

      1. There’s nothing wrong with socializing. I do it everyday! I don’t drink because my body is a temple of God. I wouldn’t drink anything that makes me drunk. (The wine at the wedding was grape juice. Let me bold if I went to a club to watch a woman dance and she was naked would that please God? Of course not. I only say this because I believe you are worth it.

        Like

  38. You are an amazing young lady! Thank you for saving your most special moment for your future husband. It will be cherished by both of you. Not only is there no shame in this, it is the way God intended it.
    Bless you, my dear. Keep up the wonderful work you are doing.
    Jim

    Liked by 2 people

  40. You know it is a sad thing when people find something to shame about everyone. It could be fat shaming, thin shaming, virgin shaming, etc…it is always something. We each make our choices and we are the only ones that have to live with them. All the shamers, haters, or whatever don’t have to look at you in the mirror the next day or for the rest of your life…you do.

    As far as the virginity thing, that’s nothing to be ashamed of and the right man will appreciate you all the more for it. I was and I will be married to the only man I have ever had for 19 years in a few weeks. So you go girl…you are amazing just the way you are!!

    Like

  41. Your virginity is only one aspect of the wonderfully complex “you” that you’ll be able to offer your husband, and I am certain the right man will value your choice to wait. My husband and I did not become Christians until we’d been married a couple years, and neither of us were virgins. However, I will honestly say that I wish I had been, because the physical relationship without the commitment will never grow to the same depth as it will when you’re married. You learn and grow together, and intimacy is no different in that aspect. You’ve made an incredibly admirable, difficult (in this day and age) choice, and I don’t think you’ll regret it for a moment, even though there may be struggles each time you choose to do the right thing. HUGS!—Lynda

    Liked by 2 people

  44. I was twenty-something before I “gave someone my flower” (Friends referece alert 😀).
    2,5 year later, we’re still together.
    So it can happen! Your first can be the one! 💪💪

    Like

  46. Ain’t I just proud of you. You got nothing to be ashamed of. Instead you have every reason to hold your head high and say to that right man when he comes… “look, this is what I have to offer! “

    Like

  48. Thank you for this! I feel the same way! I’m not a virgin BUT the Lord is effectively teaching me how to be pure for the RIGHT one after my divorce. I’ve been learning alot about purity in body mind and spirit, and one thing I’m learning is that I’m not made for every guy. Im made for one. THE ONE. So go on with your bad self and claim your virginity! It’s awesome! Your awesome! We girls need to support another in this journey. It ain’t easy but our faith and hope in the Lord knows it is well worth it.

    Like

Join the Conversation!