Oprah and the Golden Globes Sham

The Golden Globes were last night.

Just in case your phone died, your power was out, or you’ve had no contact with the outside world in the last 24 hours.

And, unpopular opinion alert: watching the whole thing, I kind of felt a little bit, oh, sick to my stomach.

Seeing the uber wealthy celebs don all black, and take public cheap shots, and all but genuflect at Oprah’s altar, the whole evening just left a bad taste in my mouth, if I’m being honest.

It honestly just seemed like a bunch of petulant children, complaining, a la Verruca Salt, that their porridge was too hot or too cold.

I mean, many of these women, who are all publicly “championing” the end to sexual assault and harassment, have literally made their careers off of allowing themselves to be sexually objectified. It’s the reason they’re in those chairs. You want to tell me that your skintight black dress, that has slits UpToHere, or is sheer with strategically placed lace, is protesting sexual assault? Honey, take a look in the mirror. How about you cover your goods, and have a little self-respect and then let’s have the conversation. I’m not saying to wear a turtleneck and orthopedic shoes, but just don’t come at me with your crotch hanging out of your dress and tell me that you’re championing respect for women.

It just seemed a little hypocritical if you ask me. It doesn’t add up.

And not that by wearing provocative clothing is in any way, shape, or form “asking for it,” but there is a certain way to present yourself in public, versus how you present yourself in the bedroom. And that line has all but ceased to exist. I don’t know, maybe that was just how I was raised, but it is an act of love and respect to help our brothers in Christ not fall into the trap of sin, and maybe one way of doing that is, I don’t know…not dressing like you work at a brothel. Just a thought.

And I know, I know. Bring on the criticism. I think deep down, we all know it’s at least part true.

But what got to me more than snide remarks from the presenters, the militant feminism on display, or the choir of men, all visibly uncomfortable at the tone of the evening, was Oprah’s sermon on the mount.

Now, first. The fact that in the 75 year history of the Golden Globes, that there has never been a black woman to win that award, is a fact that we should all be ashamed of. And Oprah is absolutely, 100% deserving of that award.

Next. Oprah is a child of God. She has done tremendous good in the world. She has overcome a lot of challenges in her past and has successfully built a career that is transcendent, influential, and impressive.

However, Oprah is not God.

And should not be worshiped as one.

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Listening to her speech, which, yes – it was powerful, articulate, passionate and incredibly moving – about some very difficult and real topics that need addressing and changing and tackling – listening to it, I felt as though I was being taken to church. Hints of southern baptist preaching came to mind, and I was half expecting to hear a “Can I get an amen?” at some point.

But the degree to Oprah’s revere is truly diety-status. And it makes me sick.

Oprah champions beautiful messages: Believing in yourself. Doing good for others. Overcoming adversity. However, her new age spirituality belongs in the dumpster. Because it is not Christianity, and it should not be touted as such.

To the point that, Christians should fear the mass-sheparding of the flocks of millions to her pasture of false truths and vanilla spirituality.

It’s scary.

But back to her Golden Globes 2018 speech. The “new day” on the horizon for young women and girls.

Granted, I fully realize that I have been blessed with a solid and safe upbringing that, sadly, not everyone is fortunate enough to have. Sure, I had my health challenges, and had one episode of sexual assault, but my life has been incredibly secure. My parents are loving, Christian people who have been married over 40 years. There has been no domestic abuse, no poverty, homelessness, unemployment, racism, or prejudice that I’ve had to personally experience, and for that I am incredibly grateful. And I know that that is not the case for everyone. And that is heartbreaking. And if that’s reason enough to be wearing a black dress, then I guess sign me up.

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But.

This “new day” on the horizon.

Am I missing something?

This life that they’re complaining of….we have it so good. We live such a privileged existence here in the United States. We have health care. We can vote. Drive cars. Marry whomever we choose. Have access to clean food and water. We can go to college. Hold any job we choose — up to and including the President of the United States.

What about in third world countries, where women are still suppressed by men? What about in the middle east, where women are still “kept” by men, and prohibited from driving, or showing anything other than their eyes in public?

Truly, what room do we have to talk?

The sexual abuse that has been coming out recently here, is deplorable. And I am so glad that those predators and creeps are finally being called out and given the consequences they so deserve.

As an actor myself, I too, have been on the receiving end of unwanted advances made by “decision makers,” and have faced the career altering-consequences when I turned down those men.

But I have also, to the detriment of my career, turned down the numerous opportunities I’ve received to play great roles that also happen to involve nudity, sex, or other situations/dialogue that goes against my morals and beliefs.  Why? Because I am actually championing women and the messages that art sends out into the world to young women and men about respect. Respect for others. Respect for oneself. Respect for marriage. Respect for life.

And I think that maybe, in addition to the black dresses and the stirring stump speeches, if Hollywood really wants to make a difference in the climate of respecting one another, they need only to look as far as the content they are creating.

Because truly, and sadly, they are the gatekeepers for the tone in our society. They are the trendsetters in every sense of the word. And much of the filth that comes out of Hollywood and onto our big and little screens across the country consists of nothing more than glorified, soft-porn that mocks God, glorifies unnatural beauty standards, and celebrates infidelity and promiscuity.

So don’t throw on a black outfit and tell me you’re championing women and fighting for respect.

Not with that track record.

It’ll take more than an Oprah sermon to get me to believe any of that.

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558 thoughts on “Oprah and the Golden Globes Sham

  1. Also; in no way did I mean to frame or attack YOU as arrogant/uneducated or seem blatantly rude; but there is a lot of room for learning about this in a way that respects all bodies without delivering shame and integrating it into the conversation you aim to have through this post. But the idea of ‘respectable’ being conflated with your Christianity errs on the side of egocentric and makes the rest of your points a little tough to chew on. Your views and very religious perspective on the world are yours, but I got really lost in all the proselytizing.

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    1. oh i totally get you! 🙂 that’s so so true – there is a lot of room for learning, and I am absolutely open to that! that’s one of the important things about dialogue is that everyone shares where they’re coming from and their experiences, and there’s room to grow and understand. so thank you, for contributing. means a lot 🙂 have a great night!

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      1. You’re welcome my friend. It’s not the best intentions, but I do think people will bypass their morals and values when a situation will benefit them.

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  2. Amen to this 1000 times over!! I didn’t watch, cause I really have no taste for Hollywood or much of the trash that comes out of it, but appreciate your take on it.

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  3. I have to agree with you. I’m tired of celebrities, m or f, being looked on as gods. They are enttertauners, no more, no less. Oprah is not qualified to Be President. Trump has Showed The Danger Of Having An Unqualified President.

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    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts, Walt. You’re so right about that!! there’s only ONE God! amen! Hugs and love xox

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  4. MIRACLE YELLO…!!! How are you doing my friend? And my goodness…I love this post so much, I am going to repost it. Yep! Thank you for this wonderful post.

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    1. haha thank you so much Ish!!! so glad you enjoyed it 🙂 and thanks for passing it along! that really means a lot! Hugs and love xox

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  5. So true, everything you wrote. Great post. It takes courage now to speak up and point out when things are not right and hippocrytical. Thanks for sharing all your stories and life lessons. I love reading your blog.

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    1. thank you so much friend, i really appreciate your kind words and support. yeah, bit of an unpopular take, but i just had to! thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  6. Hello,
    Thank you for your post and for the time you take to give insight, educate, guide and expose your deepest feelings. It is this heart felt giving, that deserves the attention not the attack that some may place on you.

    Comments like “This type of rhetoric about women’s dress is the same as ‘she asked for it’ with regard to sexual violence victims and what they were wearing; and as for ‘having it good’–sorry but saying we have it good here because marriage equality exists and women can vote is still not enough? We have it good COMPARED to some countries around the world, but women (and gay folks, and trans folks, and people of color, and disabled people, and mentally ill people, and poor people, and formerly incarcerated people, and noncitizens, and people of non-Christian faith) are still grossly marginalized if not violently discriminated against in this country. I for one will not ignore that simply because another nation has worse human rights practices. There is no hierarchy of oppression.” should try to make sense of their own before they attack others.

      You have a gift and you have taken time to give this to those in need, wether it is noticed or not. I for one enjoy your posts and would never compare a comment you have made to "sexual violence victim". But hey if your only path in life is to try and correct people or persuade them to your own opinion then attacking them on their blog is just the job for you.
    Keep up the great work and never let the weak try and sway you to their hidden agenda.
    

    Here are my definitions as requested by the above stated. I have expanded!
    Definition:
    French, literally “woman,” from Old French feme, from Latin femina “woman, a female,” literally “she who suckles,” from PIE root *dhe(i)- “to suck.”

    *dhē(i)-, Proto-Indo-European root meaning “to suck.”

    -ism “distinctive doctrine, theory, or practice,” 1670s, the suffix -ism used as an independent word, chiefly disparagingly.

    Medical Definition:
    -ism “A medical condition or a disease resulting from or involving some specified thing”

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    1. Hi Benson, thank you so much for this thoughtful and heartfelt response. there’s so much powerful food for thought here that i am definitely going to spend time thinking about. thanks for taking the time to read and respond. Hugs and love xox

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  7. There is truth and gratitude for your advice to women not to dress so tempting to their brothers as sexual addiction is a very real problem. Thank you.

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  8. Spot on. When these stories of sexual assault came out, everyone was surprised, but I wasn’t. They’ve created a culture promoting promiscuity, loose relationships, and focus on objectifying women. It doesn’t make assault right, but it does create an environment for such things to happen. Good thoughts here!

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  9. I am not much of a commenter, but I felt inclined to comment on this one. I want to start by stating that I feel for any and every woman who has been harassed, who has been made to feel unsafe, who has been the victim of unwanted advances, bullying, etc. It is a horrific and terrible thing. I honestly don’t care how much you “objectify” yourself. You have the right to feel safe, you have the right to live a life free of this sort of animalistic behavior, the right to be an individual. I wholeheartedly believe that we are, as Jefferson once penned, endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights, among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. There have been a culture in so many areas where women have been robbed of this basic understanding of freedom and liberty because predators and bully derived their pleasure from asserting their power and dominance while robbing women of their dignity.

    Now, with that being said, I agree with you wholeheartedly that you cannot put on a black dress and claim that you are the champion of women’s rights when the truth shows something else. I am not just talking about Harvey Weinstein, who so many in Hollywood covered for for so many years when it helped their careers, until it suddenly helped their career to denounce him. I am talking about the fact that they still champion Woody Allen, or spent years defending Roman Polanski, knowing exactly who these men were. Yet now they want us to believe they are somehow sincere.

    The truth is that there is a degree of hypocrisy here from a culture of silence as they wear their black dresses and make their speeches. In the meantime how many women fell victim to their silence over the years?

    I don’t know, I am with you, this whole thing left a bad taste in my mouth.

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    1. Thank you so much for this thoughtful and heartfelt response, Wyatt. That’s so true – so many of the victims do not have a fancy black dress to put on or a podium from which to speak. thank you for sharing your thoughts. Hugs and love xox

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      1. Sure thing. And just so you know, just because I believe they should be allowed to do as they will free of harassment, or others abusing their power, doesn’t mean I think its right they do. Just because something can be done doesn’t mean it should be done. There is a reason why God gives us standards. As a loving Father He does so to protect us, knowing the way that this world is and what it can be like out there. Wisdom is a responsible use of our freedom as it were.

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  10. Glad you tackled this with such a large and loyal following. I personally do not watch award shows – any of them. I will occasionally Youtube a particular performance from some of the music awards but that is it. You hit a couple great points – the dress code for example: society objectifies women with the clothing (less of it) that they seek out to wear for one purpose – ATTENTION. COME ON MAN 🙂 The other is taking advantage of the grand stage of television by over paid actors to spew their opinions on the very people supporting their lifestyle – moviegoers. I am also not a fan of actors putting down the President – like him or hate him,,,he’s better than Hillary on her best day. Thanks for sharing but I’ll pass on the Oprah speech – don’t care.

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    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah, like him or leave him, he’s our president, and we should rally behind him, not try to tear him down. Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  11. This blog is on point. I too, have admired Oprah for her many accomplishments but God, she is not. Those who worship her or any other celebrity (or person) don’t understand the difference between the two words, admire and worship.

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    1. thank you so much Stephanie! Im so glad it hit home with you. that’s a very very true statement!! Hugs and love xox

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  12. wow….Different opinions towards this. “This” not being in disregard of the obvious as far as promiscuity, Hollywood’s provocation of sex and so forth but the lack of humility via outrage… surprised at the comments… the bible is YES clear on the meekness of daughters in Christ. Their beauty being found in their obedience, and FAITH, where God then gives her favor. Our bodies being a respectable temple for the Lord. The only thing that made me cringe was not the subject matter but the tone of rebuke, which is the primary reason non-believers have a perspective of condemnation towards Christ. and this is important because only God can give them the type of.conviction they need to change from the inside out… so to see a Christian dissect them is a misleading depiction of Him.

    I don’t expect much from many of these women as far as understanding the basics of modest dress not only because many of them may not be saved but also due to the fact that many ANNOINTED women in Christ who may still be struggling with other facets of life, are still extremely called, and extremely favored.

    I guess what I’m saying is we are expected to pray for those who don’t understand/choose a non-righteous path but more importantly tearing apart others who are simply lost… is something God just doesn’t do lol.

    Their intent in supporting the preservation of women was in the right place. Sexual provocation is never =/= validated assault however NEITHER is God’s absence from afflicted women who’ve been victims regardless if they’ve worn a crop top or been on a stripper pole. God. Cares.

    I have my own reservations towards those with such platforms having God’s covering to begin with. So I can’t expect much. And as far as Oprah, Ive recently seen her to be more New Age. there’s God and then there’s God the Father of our Savior Jesus. I’ve been an Oprah fan forever and she’s definitely gone above and beyond in service but (and I may be wrong) I don’t necessarily recall as of recent her acknowleding God as Christ. This “God within us” is at best an occult lie.

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    1. Hi Christina, thank you for your thoughts on this topic. i appreciate you joining the dialogue. i’m sorry that you feel I was dissecting them. That was not my intent at all. That is such a great point – we are to pray for them – what a powerful reminder, thank you for that. Amen – God cares. thank you again for sharing your thoughts on this. hugs x

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  13. Oprah’s speech and the audience’s response was far from “praising” but more like congratulatory and inspirational. I find it intriguing how when a black woman is congratulated people are over doing it. The speech Oprah did was tailored to women, of all colors, and beliefs. It was revolutionary and a reminder for women to stand within their own power. Doing the exact same thing you are doing through sharing your journey and story. I grew up as a Christian however people are taking “their” religions to a whole other level. Just because someone is not Christian does not mean their beliefs are trash. Christianity is about love of all. Dismissing what someone else believes in is only stunting your own personal evolution. It is nice for us to see light portrayed in so much darkness including the presidential issues we currently have. I apologize as I was caught off guard on your perspective of this historical event, but in a way you gave and took away a compliment that was well deserved. By the way I did see the side note of the “preaching” comment made. I just hope your “God” allows you to be open minded and hearted to people and their differences.

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    1. Hi K, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I’m sorry that you thought I was taking away her accomplishment. that was not at all my intent. Like I said, her career is very impressive and her story is incredibly inspiring. And she absolutely deserved that award. there were just some other things about the night that rubbed me the wrong way. But I appreciate you joining the conversation. this is obviously an emotional issue with lots of different perspectives and insights, and i appreciate you sharing yours. i respect and am open to everyone’s different positions, and am grateful to have the opportunity to learn from others! big hugs to you xox

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    2. Well said! I find it amazing that because it was Oprah so much time went into an entire post diverting from the sound and prolific words she spoke. Nope, I don’t think she’s a god, but I do think she’s a phenomenal human being that has reached a platform to be a positive voice and an inspiration to so many. The story she told about Recy Taylor, who was abducted and raped by six white men after walking home from church wasn’t even mentioned. This points back to the comments about dress. I’m pretty certain that in 1944 this woman was conservatively dressed and even so, it did not matter. She was disrespected and taken advantage of because some low life men felt it a right to destroy her in one night. I’m disappointed that the importance of Oprah’s speech was overridden with accusations of her being a god instead. She’s worked hard to get where she is and deserves credit for it. As a black woman I am proud of her and always will be. As a Christian, God works on each person in His own way and because their life doesn’t look like the generalizations made in this post, doesn’t mean He loves them less.

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      1. Thank you so much this powerful response. You really bring up some terrific points. I am right there with ya – Oprah’s personal story is incredibly inspiring and has been a powerful role model for women and men a like. Her career is obviously outstanding and she is 1000% deserving of that award. And Taylor’s story is so heartbreaking and really makes me ashamed of the racial history of our country. We’ve come a long way since then, praise God, but I also know that we have a ways to go, too. And i pray that that story affects the hearts of those who listened to seek justice and respect and to help work towards an existence where that horrific tragedy never happens again. As to not bringing it up in my post, I simply ran out of room. I like to keep my posts under 1000 words and this was already over by 300. I apologize for not including something so monumental in the text. Thank you for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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  14. A great post! Thank you for saying what most of us are thinking about the GG charade. Another thing that is just gross is the fact that they’re now promoting the sequel to Fifty Shades of Gray, whilst supposedly championing women. FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY. They made themselves irrelevant by their glaring hypocrisy long ago.

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    1. thank you so much Sarah! i appreciate your kind words and support. i know – i saw that too – makes me so sad to think of the young girls seeing that and internalizing that you must be into that type of thing to interest or appeal to a man. so so so sad. hypocrisy. Hugs and love xox

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  15. You are brave for posting your views on this and I applaud you for your sincerity. I know you have visited my blog frequently and for that I am grateful. To say that you and I grew up differently is an understatement. We are both white females and identify as Christians so there is some overlap but probably not much more. I make the point because it effects an individual’s perspective. And it caused me to take exception with some things you wrote.

    “This life that they’re complaining of….we have it so good. We live such a privileged existence here in the United States. We have health care. We can vote. Drive cars. Marry whomever we choose. Have access to clean food and water. We can go to college. Hold any job we choose — up to and including the President of the United States.”

    Yes many people in America have it good, better than most of the world. However, circumstances vary greatly for individuals even in this fine country. Kids are starving here, children are beaten, abused, homeless and broken. Sex-trafficking is a huge issue, drug abuse, poverty, racism, discrimination, cults, you name it. Every bad thing you can imagine and then some exists here. As for clean water – the people of Flint, Michigan would disagree with you. Not everyone has access to clean food and water, not by a long shot. Health care is not a given either – especially now when it is dangling by a thread for millions of people that depend on subsidies. We can go to college – sure we can, if we can afford it or excel greatly academically or in athletics enough to get a scholarship. Not everyone can go to college here, it’s out of reach for a lot of people. The idea that people can hold any job they choose is also idealistic…go back to my point on college.

    I’m just pointing this out because not everyone has walked in your shoes or mine. Everybody goes through this life with their own experiences and you can look at someone today and not have any idea how they got to be the person they are in that moment. It took them a lifetime to get to that moment. You are free to judge the women and what they were wearing and make assumptions about them based on what you see on TV. I’m going to opt out of doing that because I don’t know their individual stories. We are on different paths.

    That said I think celebrities are taken too seriously, given too much adoration and that as a society our collective obsession is too much. I would much rather see our focus go to philanthropist or scientist making cutting edge breakthroughs in curing diseases. Instead people dress up in sports team colors and watch the Kardashians….it is disappointing.

    As far as celebrities go I think Oprah is one of the better ones. All of the charitable work she has done in the world…all the lives she has had a positive impact on, it’s kind of extraordinary. Perhaps you don’t think she is a Christian – I’m not sure if she considers herself one and honestly, I don’t think I’m qualified to decide. There’s one God and it’s not me.

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    1. Hi Bryce, thank you so much for this powerful response. you’ve really given me a lot to think about. and i apologize if my words were offensive to you. i agree, that oprah has done a lot a lot of good for the world and is a good person. Amen – there is only One God. so true. thanks for joining the dialogue. big hugs xo

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      1. You didn’t offend me and I hope I did not offend you. I think it is great to be able to see a situation from different perspectives and be able to have a civil conversation. Not enough of that these days. Hugs back. XO

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      2. ok good! no offense here either 🙂 I agree. Having an open and respectful dialogue is so important. especially on these emotional issues! have a great night, and thanks again for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  16. Yes! I didn’t watch the Golden Globes but I have heard enough to be thankful of that. I find celebrities to be so hypocritical. They can talk a big talk but preach against things that they themselves partake in. I’m so tired of hearing people glorify celebrities and celebrate them for things like this.

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  17. Great article, I fully agree with everything you said. I got a little concerned when you began “Oprah is a child of God………….” I was pleased to see you convey what she is preaching is not of God. Oprah’s preaching mixed with a political ambition is apocalyptic. To many people lift Oprah up high, not on a pedestal, but atop a mountain. That may appear to sound like the chicken little theory; believe me it is a dangerous combination. After her sermon, Christians must stand up and refute her sermon before it gains traction. There is no doubt that she is testing the political waters (swamp) & rest assured if she thinks she has 1% chance of winning she will make a run. In today’s political climate which is extremely volatile, Oprah on a presidential ticket, you can bet it will not be a grassroots movement, it will be a militant movement. In no way am I sharing these thoughts from a prejudicial view, but I will raise red flags based on Oprah’s influential political associations, community organizers, & a large viewing audience. Not to mention HARPO Studios & deep deep pockets and if she runs out of money George Soros and other prominent donations will be available. Not trying to be a conspiracy nut job; just trying to wake people up now before it is to late. God Bless & thank you for your wonderful insights.

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    1. Thank you M. Yes – she is a child of God, just like all of us, but she is not leading people to God. A dangerous combination indeed. thanks for sharing your thoughts! God bless! Hugs and love xox

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  18. Many of the reasons you gave are why I can’t watch award shows amd most of Hollywood’s productions. The attire of many of the women is completely inappropriate. And then complain about sexual harrassment in the industry? Ridiculous! Thank you for your most valid observations!

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    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. yeah, when you put it like that, the hypocrisy definitely is as clear as day! big hugs xo

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  19. Caralyn, thank you for boldly expressing your viewpoint. Too often we turn our head the other way and don’t stand up to be counted. Although I didn’t follow the Golden Globe, I really see the truth of what you are saying. I’m looking forward to a time when society at large will stand for righteousness and integrity. This time is coming. xoxox

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    1. thank you so much friend, i really appreciate your support and kind words. I look forward to that time as well 🙂 big hugs to you xox

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  20. How honest of you! I’m not against causes, someone has to speak out against abuse in any form and there is too much silence about some of the terrible things going on in our world today as we take the attitude “It doesn’t affect me!” But it does. When we refuse to acknowledge and speak out against we devalue ourselves. You nailed the issue well. If we are to speak out then do it when it happens, not years later to get on a bandwagon to draw attention to yourself as a self-promotional. Yes I know, they were too scared to say anything before. Well all reformers were scared but they acted. Case in point Gandhi and Mandela. One pays a price for honesty but it does eventually change the world. I admire Oprah but she would not make a good president. She doesn’t have a compromising or criminal mind and you need that to be a politician.:)

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    1. thank you so much Ian! I appreciate your kind words and support. you’re right – too much silence! Hugs and love xox

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  21. Fresh air, right there. Integrity is all about sticking to principles no matter what offers are on the table. It’s just regrettable that many people adopt the principles of celebrities with little integrity.

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  22. I couldn’t agree more with your post. Moreover, Oprah like many of the other people in Hollywood knew what was going on and chose to ignore it – until know. That’s an important fact that people tend to brush aside.

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  23. Hi Caralyn. Wow. People do get stirred up when you share truth, and your thoughts. My wife and I never do watch any of the award shows, but we see enough and hear enough of the goings on by watching the news casts the following day.
    It is difficult to watch a high percentage of programs now, (except hockey) 😀, that would not have been rated 18+ when I was young.
    Anyway, back to the show etc., I admire you for many things Caralyn, and if possible the admiration went up another level as I read your post. Standing up for your beliefs, modesty, morality, and voicing them to a wide audience as you do, well, you are an amazing young lady. I have no doubt that in your acting career there have been many situations presented to you that were disgusting and sickening. And there are probably more roles to turn down than actually accept. Even at times, we have been blindsided by starting to watch a movie that appeared to have a good or interesting story line, but it seems sex is often thrown in to attract more attention or something, even when it does nothing for the story line.
    Thank you also for standing up for your Christian faith, Caralyn, you are amazing in that area also, and not following the “new age” of Oprah and others, who allow themselves to be placed on a throne as god, if they don’t put themselves there first.
    Those who do that should read Acts 12:21-23 and see what the True Triune God things of that, and His actions.
    Anyway, back to the award show again, well the news today actually. As we were watching the TV news today, and some of the participants were being shown in there black stylish clothes, I said to Barb, my wife, “for those who are protesting, they sure let everything fall out anyway.”
    One last note to a number of your followers who responded, I agree completely, men have no right to take advantage of ladies because of the way of dress, or the power the men hold, and it is disgusting when the attempt is made. But ladies, please respect yourself, don’t show your bodies to everyone, respect your husband, or future husband in this way.
    Men should not dress provocatively either, and should show respect.
    Thank you again Caralyn.
    God Bless You,
    Luv, 😀🌹❤️
    George

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    1. What a kind and thoughtful response, George. Thank you with all my heart. So you know, i never take your kindness or support for granted. I am truly grateful. I always love hearing your thoughts and you express them so respectfully and insightfully. any who – i fully agree with you on everything here. thanks again for stopping by! big big hugs to you xox

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      1. Caralyn, never change unless the True Triune God gives you the directive to change, with confirmation in His Word. Obviously, as has been seen, some are attempting to dissuade you. Proof again, God approves of you and your writing, and is blessing you, and Holy Spirit, God Himself as well, is guiding you. Praying for you my Friend, for Protection as attacks come, Strength as an Overcomer in Christ, Boldness to share and proclaim Christ as the Spirit leads.
        God’s Abundant Blessings Caralyn.
        Luv. 😀🌹❤️
        George

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      2. Hi again, dear friend. oh thank you again. Your prayers are so appreciated. Since day one, every time i’ve sat down to write a post, i literally say, “OK Holy Spirit, tell me what to say.” And then I kid you not, the words just flow. I don’t even reread it to edit the post other than a measly spell check. I truly cannot take credit for any of my work! I thank you for your continued support and friendship. you rock 🙂 have a great night xo

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      1. hahaha uhhh, actually yes. some nights more than others. but I’m a solid 8 hour kind of girl 🙂 hehehe bedtime is rapidly approaching!! 🙂 xox

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  24. Caralyn, I’m a rape survivor, and I think you did an EXCELLENT job with this article. You nailed all the problems in our society over sexual assault with grace. My favorites include how you brought into light about clothing and how clothing doesn’t mean we’re asking for it. However, I’d like to piggyback off of your article by saying this….

    Men are more visually stimulated. God created them to be that way, and in Genesis Chapter 1 the Bible repeatedly says God’s creation is good. A man being visually stimulated is a good thing. But, sexual assault/rape is an act of VIOLENCE, not sex. (I’m putting violence in caps for others to understand the difference). A woman choosing to dress modestly for her brothers in Christ, and to set an example to unbelievers is a Biblical, honorable and respectable choice. Women in Hollywood, in general, should have more respect for their bodies and keep in mind how others will perceive them….and for being in such a high position…they need to keep in mind how their clothing choices impact the way society views sexual assault. I personally feel it gives rapists an excuse to rape (she was asking for it by her clothing) and I personally feel it condones rape. Most sexual assaults go unreported. I noticed having gone through the experience myself, part of society is still uneducated on how to support a victim because they still see rape as an act of sex. In other words, I personally feel Hollywood is not helping the situation either. I believe you feel the same way from what you stated.

    With that said, women shouldn’t only dress modestly out of fear. I think when women dress modestly so they’re not perceived as a temptress also says men, in general, have a lack of control over their sex hormones, which is degrading to men. I feel the problem we face regarding femininity and masculinity is how we don’t see each other as being equal. One is always trying to say the other is wrong, instead of realizing men and women are different , but are good for each other. Sexual assault is about having control over someone else. Perhaps Hollywood needs to realize the differences between perversion and what’s normal.

    Again, you’re article is very on point. I’m proud of you for also not compromising your morals for fame.

    I would like to nicely point out a slight misunderstanding about Oprah. Oprah is not a Child of God. She is a creation of God. A Child of God is a person who has accepted Jesus as their Lord of the their life and the Savior of the World. They’ve also accepted Jesus being the Son of God and being the only way to God. Oprah has openly admitted she hasn’t done that yet.

    Thanks for your article. 🙂

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    1. Hi Hannah, thank you so much for sharing your heart, and for this powerful response. I so so agree – that is a respectable choice : one that should be celebrated. I’m so grateful for your remarks on your experience, because that is a new perspective when it comes to the violence of rape. I want to just say how sorry I am that you had to endure that violence. You did not deserve to be violated like that, and I just want you to know that my heart goes out to you. And I am listening to your words with a careful ear. Because what you say matters. You matter. And I am just so sorry that that you had to endure that. And thank you for that clarification on Oprah. I appologize for my typo – I didn’t realize the difference! again, thank you for the courage for sharing your story. it means the world, as do you to me 🙂 big hugs friend xo

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      1. Thank you for your kind words, especially the matter part. I have to admit that you’re living my dream. So I think it’s pretty cool you’re interested in me. There’s my ‘whole heart’ for today lol 🙂 Anyway, you don’t have to apologize for the Oprah thing…I was merely pointing it out so others would know the difference. Most people don’t.

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  25. This was INCREDIBLE. THANK YOU for saying what we’re all thinking. I just read your entire post aloud to my husband. No, I didn’t watch any of the garbage but knew I could find out anything I wanted to by looking anywhere on the Internet today. These people are privileged and wasting what they have by being petulant children who sway with the wind as long as it’s to their advantage to do so. Your assessment was spot-on. They are not championing women in any way. Not real women, with real problems. I’m thankful you’re brave enough to call it like it is.

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    1. thank you so much! oh my gosh i am so touched that you would share this with your husband. thank you for your support. it really means a lot. big hugs to you xo

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  26. I think you make excellent points here. If we want to promote respect of women, we first as women must learn self respect. But I think that honestly no matter what a woman wears, even if it is provocative—it is no excuse for sexual assault. I am sure you agree that women are sexualized even when they wear modest clothing. But I think we do need to keep it classy and set the standard. It just seems like fashion keeps getting skimpier and it’s really concerning to me. At some point we have to draw a line. But will that ever happen in such a broken world? So many women don’t know their identity in Christ! If they only knew how precious they were, maybe they would dress differently.

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    1. Hi Sammy, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. you’re right – it’s no excuse. Oh, if only we all knew how incredibly precious 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  27. Beautifully put, dear. I know that regardless of how a woman dresses or looks, sexual assault or misconduct is not acceptable, but you make a good point that many of these very women have subjectified themselves to it by making themselves sex objects and nothing else, in an industry that thrives on it.

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    1. thank you so much Jim, i really appreciate your thoughts on this. you’re right – the industry thrives on it 😦 glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  28. I was going to say “testify” until you beat me to it referencing her Obamish Southern Preacher twang that she worked in. These awards shows are full of self-congratulatory, isolated and insulated asshats who have no idea how the other 99% lives. And as for Oprah, as accomplished as she is, being a huge Weinstein apologist is part of the problem she claims to be fighting. Thank you for another great post, very brave given the political environment these days

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    1. thank you so much for your kind words! that’s true – the awards shows are all kind of one and the same :/ so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  29. I didn’t see the Globes and I think I’m glad I didn’t! I remember when Obama gave his first speech when he was running for president…I remember saying the same thing about him. People were actually crying and blubbering all over themselves at how wonderful he was…(I think I just threw up in my mouth a little at the mere memory). They were basically worshiping at his feet!
    And I agree wholeheartedly about the way the women dress. They need a little lesson in modesty. I remember when my son was in Jr. High and he liked a young lady. I taught him to be a gentleman and respectful but it was a very interesting conversation when this young lady began dressing very provocative. It’s really hard to teach a young man to be respectful of a woman’s body when she herself isn’t. I’m glad those days are behind me.
    Very well written article Caralyn, I applaud you for standing up for what you believe.

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    1. Hi jackie, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. lol you’re making me chuckle! yeah, everyone is looking for something or someone to worship, sadly. sounds like you’re a great mom – your son is lucky to be raised by such a strong woman! thanks for your kindness . Hugs and love xox

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  30. While I understand where you’re coming from regarding dress, I disagree with it. I was taught the very thing you ranted about in this post since childhood yet… my life was threatened and I was raped wearing baggy jeans and a sweater. I’m still trying to figure out why society says this is my fault and why this is the first question asked whenever the subject comes up.

    Modesty in dress does NOT protect anyone from a sexual predator and it’s dangerous to perpetuate the idea that somehow it does. Wear whatever you’d like, but don’t ever think it will make you safe.

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    1. oh friend, i am so sorry to hear that you had to endure that. my heart breaks for you. you did not deserve that at all. oh i just want to give you a big hug right now. you’re right – they are violent predators. thank you for having the courage to share your story. sending all the love in the world x

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    2. I’m sorry for what happened to you…and I’m sorry for anyone who would lead you to believe it was your fault, regardless of how you were dressed. Rape is an act of violence…period. But I fully agree with this post. You may have missed it, but she actually said she didn’t say provocative clothing was asking for it.

      What I respect most about Caralyn’s point is the truth in how it is an act of love and respect for men when women dress modestly. Sexual predators are not typical, and men in general do not assault a woman for how she is dressed, but lusting over someone who is dressed provocatively in itself is sinful. When we dress in that way it can lead others to lust.

      Your situation, like any rape, was a crime and again, I am sorry that happened to you.

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      1. “You may have missed it, but she actually said she didn’t say provocative clothing was asking for it.”

        The problem is that is was implied. Based on many of the comments I’ve read in here, I’d say the unspoken message was heard loud and clear. I have to agree with the comment made by another person comparing it to the “I’m not racist but…” type of statements. The moment you add a disclaimer like that to an opinion is the moment you create an echo that says otherwise.

        I’ve followed BBB long enough to know she speaks from a place of love and kindness – not with an intent to shame or hate. It’s because of this that I feel safe here to express a thought. It’s my hope that she understands where I’m coming from as well in responding to this echo.

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      2. I understand. I didn’t mean to throw my 2 cents in …I just really wanted you to know I was so sorry for what happened to you and thought I’d add my thoughts as well. I agree with you completely about BBB…she is probably the most genuinely kind person I’ve never actually met! God Bless.

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      3. You’re fine. I promise! This is just one of those hot button topics I think. You’re entitled to your 2 cents! And by you speaking up, it helped me reassess my comment to make sure it wasn’t just a knee jerk reaction of fear. I’ve come to realize that while it wasn’t a knee jerk reaction, it still came from a place of fear. And the reason I’m bringing this up is that I don’t want you to think I was ever angry or upset with you or this blog post. I’m sorry if I conveyed that in my earlier comment. Much love and light to you. ❤

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  31. Thank you!!! I would love to give you a most modest and appropriate hug for clearly articulating what’s been rattling around my mind since the first news appeared about the hypocrisy that was the GG. Granted, I don’t watch TV or movies, so these people make zero difference in my life, but their selective moral outrage has them cannibalizing each other for promotional points.
    On second thought, how about a Hi-5
    Scott

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    1. Hi Scott, thank you so much. haha Yay for that Hi-5! I definitely am with you there. thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  32. My 14 year old cousin came to visit this summer and quite a few of her sentences were started with “I’m not racist”. I finally asked her to stop and think, because chances are if you start a sentence off like that the next thing that comes out of your mouth is probably going to be a racist remark.
    I felt the same while reading your take on women’s clothing choices. It felt very much like you were saying “It’s not your fault you were assaulted, but if you didn’t dress like that it probably wouldn’t have happened.” I don’t believe that’s how you meant it, but that’s the way it came across.
    I do not agree with most of your post. I do, however, appreciate the bravery it takes to share a potentially unpopular opinion.
    I hope my words do not offend, I simply wanted to share another perspective. 🙃

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    1. Hi Valerie, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I’m sorry that it offended you. That was not my intent at all, nor how I meant it. But I can see how one could take it that way. Your words definitely did not offend. I appreciate and respect everyone’s different viewpoints and perspectives on this very emotional and important issue. big hugs to you xox

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  33. You ask a great question: Am I missing something?
    This life that they’re complaining of….we have it so good. We live such a privileged existence here in the United States. We have health care. We can vote. Drive cars. Marry whomever we choose. Have access to clean food and water. We can go to college. Hold any job we choose — up to and including the President of the United States.-My dear, you are missing something. The privileges you list here are still only accessible to a particular, white, resourced few. I don’t have a tv so I didn’t watch the Golden Globes but I do know that many look up to Oprah because she’s a profoundly successful black woman with lived experience of trauma, poverty and racism and overcame these obstacles; a hopeful and inspiring miracle for many. I agree, she’s not God but she is a living hero and example of what the rest of us can aspire to in spite of concrete, systemic obstacles. I relate deeply to what she’s overcome as a survivor of sexual abuse, generational poverty, physical abuse, homelessness, passive neglect, rape, verbal abuse, parental divorce and even more childhood trauma than I care to share here. Oprah is living example of resilience, compassion and hope for those of us trying to live our best life in the absence of unearned privilege. xo

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    1. Thank you E, for sharing this thoughtful and powerful response. i fully agree – Oprah is a hero, and what she has overcome and built is truly worthy of celebrating. I’m so sorry to hear that you had to endure those things. gosh, my heart just goes out to you and i wish i could give you a humungous hug through the screen. I’m so glad that you find such hope and so much of your story in Oprah. She is doing such good for the world. sending you so much love, friend. thanks again for having the courage to share your story. big big hugs x

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  34. I love this and agree 100%. If more women practiced genuine self-respect, perhaps we wouldn’t have all of these sexual assault and harassment allegations.

    This is also why I never bother watching the Golden Globes or any awards ceremonies for that matter. It’s always the same privileged people validating each other haha.

    Thanks for sharing! 🙂

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  35. It was good to read this.
    No doubt vanilla spirituality has become a major problem in the US, it’s not lost on us.

    However, it’s intention I think, at least originally, was to make God available to all….and that means not forcing Jesus down EVERYONE’S throats.
    Don’t get me wrong… I’m a Christian…or at least think I am. I have accepted Jesus as my personal savior. I take communion.
    And yes, evangelism I’m called for – just – the thing is….jihad is jihad in whatever language; if you see what I mean.

    We are told in the Bible, that a time will come when Christians will have to search their own hearts – the spirit will help – to find Jesus, and at that particular time, Christians may will be the antithesis of Christianity.

    Again, it’s not lost on us that Vanilla spirituality is really what American Mega-Churches and Television empires (seed a prayer, secure your abundance, right to the number on the bottom of the screen…) are peddling. That or outright hate.

    And I know it’s not all churches and it’s not all Christians – actually, Muslims are crying out in exactly the same way. In fact if you listen, so are Israelites really. Actually, everywhere, the Spirit of God is under fire.

    The thing in the privilege you share – and again, be from this side you’re right, hey who wants to be an African – it’s becoming uncomfortably clear that that ‘we’ is not a wide a ‘we’ that we have long been told you all are taking about when you ask us to change who we are you become more like you.

    And then finally this thing on respect – and I hear you here totally. It’s what good people around the world are wishing for the world more than anything…just that right now, it appears to be leadership there that is purveying respect only for ‘we’ first – again the definition of ‘we’ notwithstanding – in other words, a respect that is conferred based on manners, or color, or belief, or sex….a form of respect in direct opposition to those marvelous words written so long ago by people who ‘held these truths to be self-evident…’ for whom? – and for which spirit, more humanity than you can imagine, continue to fight for and die for because it remains the best example of an ‘us’ that we have on paper.

    Wherein that ‘us’ has suddenly divorced the UN of the grounds of…what exactly?

    The world is in trouble. I really get this article on Oprah, and I’m grateful for it – I hope that somewhere, people come to their senses. Otherwise the very Gods America has created a are going to start leading America – nevermind Oprah. There’s all sorts of Celebrity in the background….and oh, just wait until the Charismatic Christian stuff we are seeing on TV gets wind of it.

    And perhaps it will be as is written – because it will end with Joyce Meyer or Hagee or Roseville or Memphis or Ft. Lauderdale or Birmingham (see where I’m going…) or some other Christian fulfilling Revelations.

    It is a fearful time. Between The current, and Oprah lies the entirety of America i.e. without unity, what is apparent is only extremism…and it looks like getting ready to lead.

    I have written long because I be read you – almost everyday. You make a difference in my life. Your words do. Your fearlessness in putting yourself out there. The spirit of Christianity that so often wraps itself around that spirit, in the words that you find, to put down here.

    And I guess I’m afraid for what is happening to that Christian spirit…that spirit of love and forgiveness and encouragement that increasingly seems hard to come by. Anywhere.

    I put this out not to criticize or to harm or to denigrate – merely to further the conversation….just a voice from far away, looking in.

    I do not have the answers, and hope that I have not seemed partial or disrespectful.

    Personally? Some will argue that I have no right to speak as a Christian.

    At times, I don’t know what to do. Will prayer get us out of this one?

    I’ve gone on far too long! I apologise.

    Malachi 3:5

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    1. Hey there friend, thank you so much for this thoughtful and heartfelt response. i appreciate you joining the dialogue and for taking the time to reflect and respond. Lots of powerful food for thought. how can we make God available for all without vanilla spirituality — that is the million dollar question. so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  36. I did comment, but Safari froze!

    So, here is a short version of my earlier comment!

    One – sexual harassment is a subset of harassment and, those who harass (while, they are essentially weak people) need to be dealt with strictly.

    Men display muscles. The need to show muscles is, in a sense, infantile. Yet, we moved from the codpiece to the surgically generated muscular structure.

    Women display themselves. Completely! And, with these “glamorous” women, nothing is left to the imagination anymore. Surgically altered bodies up for display.

    Having said that, there is a voyeur in most of us. We love titillation, from film stars on display, to seeing others suffer, to pornography.

    Dignity and restraint are forgotten words, sadly.

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    1. oh no! i hate when that happens ;/ Thanks for this thoughtful response. lots of great points. and you’re right – they’re definitely forgotten…so sad. Hugs and love xox

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