Curve Balls

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Gosh, thank you so much for the support after last week’s emotional blog post.

Thankfully I am now 100% healthy – the flu couldn’t keep me down for long! And I have taken a page from T Swift’s book and did a little “shake it off” dance.

It’s crazy though. The video is at nearly 5 million and counting….yowza. If only those views were dolla dolla bills, yallllll.

haha jk jk….sorta

ANYWHO

I have some news.

FIRST: I got an exciting letter that BeautyBeyondBones has been recognized as the #3 Eating Disorder Recovery Website on the Worldwide Web! It was recognized by Feedspot! I am so incredibly honored, and I wanted to just take a second to thank you. Thank you for your readership and support, and for buying my book, Bloom, and passing it along to loved ones and friends. The glowing feedback I’ve received about the book absolutely makes my heart soar. You, reading this, are the reason I do this blog, so thank you from the bottom of my heart.

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NEXT:

You may recall that I have a trip to India coming up this week. One of my guy friends is getting married over there this coming weekend, and I’ve had my flight and hotel booked for months, my clothes all set, and a game plan for eating/drinking that may or may not include baby food.

So just this week – while I was sick – I get a call from the girl I’m traveling with. We’ll call her Tiffani. She’s a good friend from California, and we coordinated our flights. She’s connecting in NYC, where I’ll hop on her flight, and away we’ll go to the land of Bollywood and tikka masala.

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But as any millennial knows…any time you get a phone call rather than a text message, the news is not good.

Well, it turns out that her visa was denied. One of her immediate family members is from Pakistan, and therefore, they denied her visa. Apparently the India/Pakistan political relationship is not. good. But anyways: she can no longer go.

What a bummer! At least several of my friends are still able to go. Disappointed, I shrug it off and concede to just meeting everyone else over there solo.

Later that day, I call my parents to share the news about my friend’s visa status, and let’s just say, I was blindsided by the phone call.

My dad informed me that there was absolutely no way he’s allowing me to travel to India by myself. If Tiffani’s not going, neither am I. 

“But I’m getting picked up at the airport by my friends!” No. 

“But I’ll never be by myself after I get off the plane!” No.

OK. That’s it, then. That’s the verdict. I’m not going to India. 

Yes, I am beyond disappointed. Yes, I am upset, but not at my dad.

My dad had never been super on board with me going in the first place. He was worried, of course about human trafficking, and my safety. But more than anything, he was worried about me getting sick from the food/water, and with my Ulcerative Colitis – ending up in the Indian hospital system. Legitimate fears.

And frankly, I’m blessed to have a father who loves me enough to worry about me and act to protect me.

I’ve done a lot of reflecting, in my respite with the flu. And I had a couple friends be like, — Just go anyways! You’re an adult and the ticket is already paid for. There’s nothing he can do – you’re in NYC, he’s in Ohio.

And while, yes, I am an adult – he’s my father.

And that means something. Because no matter how old I am, I will always respect my father.

My father – the man who, during my anorexia, researched the best weight gaining drinks money could buy and had them shipped in all the way from Scandinavia. The man who, after I was publicly disgraced as Sorority president and stripped down to my underwear in front of the chapter, whisked me away in his car to remind me that I am loved and worth so much more than what any of those dimwits at the greek house say. The man, who, ate my vegan food for an entire year when I was on bedrest with my Ulcerative Colitis, in solidarity with me.

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The man who has given his life for his family, and provided a safe, happy, healthy and full life for me, every. single. day.

I will respect him. I will respect his wishes. I will respect his decision.

Because at the end of the day, that is the right thing to do: Honor your father and mother.

And who knows, maybe this is all playing out how it’s supposed to. Maybe – heaven forbid – something tragic would have happened while I was over there? Maybe this is God’s way of protecting me from something – an illness, an accident, who knows.

Or maybe, I’m supposed to be in the States during that period? Maybe I book the role of a lifetime? Maybe I stumble upon an awesome opportunity? Or maybe…I meet my future husband?

Who knows. But, although deeply disappointed, I choose to trust and honor my fathers…both earthy and Heavenly.

SO if you need me, I will not be going to India, and instead, stalking the heck out of my friends’ trip on Instagram instead.

***THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS ORDERED MY BOOKS, BLOOM: A JOURNAL BY BEAUTYBEYONDBONES AND “MY BLOGGING TIPS“***

CLICK HERE TO ORDER YOUR COPY!

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

257 thoughts on “Curve Balls”

  2. As a daughter of a great heavenly Father and a very flawed earthly one, thank you! It is so refreshing to see someone trust, respect, and honor both fathers. There is no place in scripture that says honor your parents if they are deserving. It says that this is the first command given with a promise–LONG LIFE! Exodus 20:12 Here’s to long life. May yours be truly blessed.

    Karisa

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  3. Congratulations on your number 3, and I hope your proud of yourself. Recovery from annorexia is incredibly difficult. Your father sounds amazing. He must be so proud of you, as you are of him.

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  4. It’s so nice to hear you say that about your dad! I’ve not always gotten on with my dad as well as I could have and, not living at home any more, people sometimes get on at me for asking (and taking) his advice about stuff. The thing is though, he is my dad and even though we’re not living in the same city, I still have to honour him and I still massively respect him so if he’s concerned or says I shouldn’t do something, I’ll go with what he says. A lot of people, even Christians, don’t get that and it can make you wonder if you’re just being weird and old fashioned but I love my dad and I love God and so I’ll be honouring my parents, thanks and I’m glad there are others out there who feel the same 🙂

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  5. lots of good stuff going on…short and to the point…I appreciate your attitude about the trip and respecting your dad’s council…you are making the right decision. Kudo’s to you. DM

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      1. You’re welcome. I know you have plenty of street smarts..but I am glad you decided to put this trip on pause..

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  7. I love your dad! Please give him a big hug from the Internet lady he doesn’t know next time you see him. When I read that you were going to, India, my stomach clenched. Thank you for having the wisdom to listen to, and be obedient to, your father’s wisdom. I’m so proud of you! (cuz you know, my opinion means SO MUCH! not lol)

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    1. thank you so much Melissa! yeah, he’s pretty awesome. i will definitely pass along the hug 🙂 haha thanks for your kind words.Hugs and love xox

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  9. Amazing post! Loved those kind words you posted about your Dad. I can only imagine what he felt like when he read this post. Im happy you had someone that was there for you, who is there for you. I always enjoy reading your posts. I don’t always comment, but enjoy perusing them. Wishing you all the best my friend!

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  11. Hi there Caralyn! Sorry you’re disappointed at not going to India. But I love love LOVE the honor you give to your father. It may be me (being a Dad myself) but it seems that honor like that is rare these days. Particularly across generations. So spot on!

    Spiritually I think honor is cyclical or reciprocal, what goes around comes around. So get ready for blessings!

    Take care and try to find a way to celebrate that wedding even though you won’t be there in person. Because your blessing on the marriage matters more than you think.

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    1. thank you so much for your kid words. Yes! i’ll be raising a toast from across the pond for my friend 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  12. Hey!!!!

    I am so bummed to hear you’re not coming to India. I was totally looking forward to see how you would write about your travels here. It would have been amazing as you are quite the gifted, perceptive writer. Your thinking is honourable and your dad sounds fantastic! India’s been around a long time and you can always visit later if the stars align 🙂

    Here’s a gem from newish Bollywood you may have not yet encountered.

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    1. thank you so much 🙂 yeah – I was so excited to get to meet the beautiful people of India and experience their lively culture! Hugs and love xox

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  13. This post just brought me to tears! First, because I never had, and desperately wished for, the kind of father you have. Secondly, because your obedience, as an adult, to your earthly Father is such a rare thing that it’s almost strange in a beautifully humbling way. Your humble and obedient response to your earthly Father who cares for you is deeply moving, but also so inspiring as the heart we are to have towards our Heavenly Father!! WOW, Young Lady, your wisdom is amazing and a cause for personal reflection in my own life! I hope that your friends recognize how blessed you are and take note. As well, I know our Heavenly Father sees your selfless act of obedience, and I know he rewards us for obedience because — it is our reasonable service! I pray that the Heavenly Father will give you some of those things you desire in your heart — a good husband, an outstanding career (modeling or acting) — And, I Thank You because YOU HAVE TRULY BLESSED MY SPIRIT TODAY WITH THIS POST Beautiful Young Lady!!

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    1. Oh Ms. Wanda, thank you so much for this beautiful response. I’m so glad it resonated with you. yeah, i am very blessed to have a father like him. But how amazing is our Heavenly Father’s love for us. thank you for your prayers. it truly means the world. big big hugs xoxooxoxooxoxox

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  14. That was a tough decision but you made the right choice. It’s better to miss your trip than agonize over disobeying your Dad throughout the trip. When push comes to shove, he still sees you as his little girl, loves you unconditionally and will do whatever he can to protect you. Enjoy him. I miss my Dad.

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  15. It really sounds like your father is a great picture of the loving compassion that God the Father has for his children. You are blessed! As I read this post I was challenged by how dedicated he was to you in all your incredibly rough times. My daughter is a year and a half and I get shivers thinking about her college years. My prayer is that I can be as firm, faithful, and compassionate has your father is to my daughter during those upcoming years.
    Blessings!

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    1. thank you friend. yeah, he is an amazing man. your daughter is lucky to have you in her life 🙂 i’ll definitely keep you and her in my prayers 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  17. Congratulations on the website being at the top! Well deserved and this post is one of the reasons. It is great that you and your dad have that kind of relationship and that you respect him that way. I would agree that it is God protecting you from something. You may never know this side of heaven. Glad you are feeling better.

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  18. As a dad of a 24 year old who lives on his own and pays his own bills, I’d never tell him NO on anything. Why? Cuz he would look at me and say, rightfully so, “DUDE! I am an adult, see you when I get back!”

    But I respect your decision. 🙂 (I’d go anyway and share pictures when I got back)

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    1. haha thank you Tony, yeah I definitely get that. that’s what a lot of my friends said too. glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  19. Seriously, I get pumped up every time I read one of your posts. Keep speaking truth even if it’s unpopular. You are blessed to have a dad who cares, and he is blessed that you understand/respect that.

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  20. I enjoyed this post. I am sorry you are not getting to go to India. Getting to experience other cultures is a really great thing. I have to tell you that I applaud your listening to your Dad and honoring his request that you stay home. It is totally Biblical. Matthew 21:28-32 and John 14:15. I recently found out that the folks Jesus was talking to in Matthew 21 held the belief that politeness to ones father outweighed obedience in importance. After understanding that, it seems that Jesus story in Matthew 21 probably set that belief on its ear. After all, who wants lip service….I am sure your Dad really appreciates your demonstration of love and respect for him in this issue of your trip. Again, I applaud you for your decision, and I am sure that God is applauding you too!

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  21. Hellooooll MIRACLE YELLO! Sorry about the trip. Though it may make you feel a lil mellow, know that you’ll always be your friend’s greatest Yello, even while you stalk the event on Instagram. 😂. Seriously though…wassup girl…😱. Been a while since I got my regular BBB dose. But I’m fine now. Congrats on the video and #3. You rock.

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  22. This is going to sound silly, but I breathed a sigh of relief when I read that you weren’t going. I don’t know why, but when I first read about your plans, it left me anxious for you. Yep, it’s silly since I don’t know you, and I love traveling, so it’s not that…heck, I don’t know what it was! I’m sorry you’ll miss your friend’s wedding, but for whatever reason it’s a good thing you’re staying here.

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    1. Thank you so much Lisa! yeah, there is a little part of me that is also relieved. There would have been a lot of complications surrounding the food and water situation that would have been stressful. thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  23. Yes, your Dad is a tremendous, incredible blessing but as a Dad I’m blessed by your amazing, humble attitude. I’ve said it before – but you rock! And I have say, regarding the food he’s probably right.

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  24. Your relationship with your dad sounds wonderful. I am glad you’re over your flu and I hope you can find something fun to do in place of India!! My dad is incredible too and is currently supporting me as I have just started treatment for anorexia. We are evidently both very lucky!

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    1. thank you friend, yeah I am very grateful to have such a wonderful relationship with him. And how awesome that you’ve started treatment! You rock! Know that you will be in my prayers as you start this exciting chapter in your life, reclaiming your life!!! big hugs to you xo

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  25. Hey Caralyn, for ages, I have considered you the most awesome, loving, loveable daughter possible, then we see a few more things you say, or you do something, so the ladder has to have a few more rungs added to it, so you can climb higher.
    Paying attention to your Dad, even though you are a mature adult, shows incredible respect and honour.
    And, even from the little you have shared about your Dad, in all he did, he has earned, and is worthy of your respect and honour. Even though the Bible does tell us to honour our Mothers and Fathers, it is easy to see that it is even beyond that for you. You do that automatically from love and learning.
    Then the flip side of all that, is in all your parents did, they taught you in word and example of lifestyle, how to respect and honour others. That is obvious in your writing, and responses to your followers, even those who have a negative slant in their comments.

    Again, I will have to commend Mom and Dad on the great young lady they have for a daughter. And I have to commend you, Caralyn, for the love, honour, and respect you show them always.

    God’s Blessings,
    Luv, 😀🌹❤️
    George

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    1. oh my gosh, George, I am so touched by this. thank you friend 🙂 they have given me so much love and such a wonderful life, i want to respect them. 🙂 thank you for such kind words. sending you massive hugs and love xox

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  28. You are very right that everything happens for a reason. If you were really meant to go the stars would have aligned for you to do so, including having your father’s blessing (both of them!) . 🙂

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  29. Are you sure this is the right decision? The official teaching of the Catholic Church is that once you are an adult, “honor your mother and father” means consider their advice and then make your own decision. You can find that right in the Catechism.

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  30. I as touched by that amazing tribute to your Dad. Any father worth his salt with protect his children no matter how old they are. Control is not good but protect as best one can while respecting the right of the child now adult to make their own decisions in life is a responsibility. Then if the choices are not good the Father must be there to pick up the pieces and give courage to move on. Unfortunately in this selfish world today all fathers are not like that. So you have a gem of great price. I’m glad you appreciate that. 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much Ian. I really appreciate that. Yeah I fully realize how blessed I am. Sadly not everyone has a dad who is so fiercely on their team. Hugs and love xox

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  31. Hello! First of all congratulations for your blog!
    Secondly!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a hard decision you had to make about your trip.
    I love travelling but I also love my dad and I think I would struggle…I cannot say what I would decide because you have to be in that situation to choose. Anyway… There is still time until your flight… Maybe you could talk to your father and find alternative ways to be safe and make feel your father safe too.
    If you are completely sure about your decision…well… Luckily life is full of opportunities!
    God bless you.

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  33. Well, I’m glad you’re recovered from that bout with the flu. Much congratulations on you rocking the WWW! That’s awesome news! And while I was disappointed right along with everyone reading this that you wouldn’t be going to India, I cried whilst reading about you and your father. So touching, so beautiful, so you.

    Peace and all good things

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  35. Ms BeautybeyonBones, I have such a small following, I must have said done something, I don’t see your name as a follower of my blog. I hope my intentions of the movie, self was not taken incorrectly. I apologize upfront for anything I may have done/said. Anyway, thank you for all your support, nice comments and I look forward to reading your blogs as they come out. God Bless.

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      1. I guess I am still in the dark, I don’t seem to have you on my list of followers. I hope we can still converse.

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      2. I thought I responded to you – but have you quit following me? I don’t see you on my list – not easy to miss, mine is short. Also – since we are talking, LOL, did you happen to get a chance to view the short movie “Full Disclosure”, I like it’s premise. God Bless Hugs and Love to you too.

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      4. I thought you were too, but suddenly I noticed you had not “liked” any posts in a bit, so I was curious if you were. Looks like somehow we got disconnected. Hope you do watch the movie, it may help your way of dating, it’s 17 mins long btw. God Bless, hugs and loves to you.

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  36. Ah! Don’t worry yourself about it! Everything happens for a reason. God saved you from something major! Trust me, he sees and knows everything before it happens and when its gonna happen! I’m sure he has a WAY better trip ahead for you to go to! (LIKE THE CARIBBEAN) I’m just kidding but really tho loll 😂…continue to be obedient and in this don’t be so sad but REJOICE!! rejoice knowing that God saved you from the works of the enemy! Soon he’ll show you why he canceled your trip to India! God bless you and much love! Xxoo 😘🙌✨😇

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    1. Amen – I fully believe that. Haha oh yes! Take this girl to the Caribbean! Ha thanks for your kind words Tammy. Have a great afternoon! Hugs and love xox

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  38. Thanks for sharing this honest and compelling post about your feelings for your father. It sounds like he was an absolute rock for you when you needed him most. That is such a treasure for you to hold in your heart! “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Luke 2:19

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  39. Gotta say, I’m gutted for ya! As long as you’re happy with the decision and think it was the right one. It does seem like a risky place for a lady to be travelling alone, however 21st century we want to be about this!

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  40. God bless you for honouring your father both in word and deed. You have a very wise father. Congratulations on being # 3 on your blog topic! Blessings!

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  41. I love what you wrote about your dad. What an amazing man! I totally agree about respecting his opinion, I’m the same way. Sorry you won’t be going but like you said… maybe you’ll meet your future husband or land an amazing role. 🙂 Glad you’re feeling better! OH!! Huge congrats on being named one of the very best Eating Disorder blogs!! I’m thrilled for you! And you deserve it. xx

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  42. U go girl! Way to appreciate your dad and think beyond your own desires. That is not easy… Especially as a young adult, when the world is finally “yours.” And you could legally go on our own accord. But when you follow your Heavenly Father’s will… Like you said. ” honor your father and mother”… then “all hings work together for good for those who love the Lord.” (Romans 8:28). And the true purpose or reason for you not going to India will someday be made known to you. Way to walk the talk!

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    1. Thanks so much L! I appreciate your kind words. Yes! They will all work together for good for sure:) Hugs and love xox

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  45. Wow! Fathers! This post reminded me of an episode I had with my own. In my case, it was a big no to U. S from India and I must admit I was pretty mad at him for snatching the chance from me. But after reading this, I have realised how lucky we are to have parents who care for us irrespective of our ages. No matter how old we grow, we will always be children to them.

    As a side note, I want to add that India is an amazing place to visit and if you’re a foodie (like me) then it’s like stepping into the gates of heaven. I don’t know which place you were supposed to visit but I hope that one day you would get to experience the culture and cuisine.

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    1. Thanks so much Shilpa, you’re so right- we all will be. Yeah I’m super bummed about India. I would have love to meet the amazing people and experience the vibrant culture and food. Hopeful again someday 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  46. I love your positive outlook on this even though you are disappointed. I had something similar happen to me and I was very disappointed, BUT I ended up meeting my husband that weekend. Totally worth the initial disappointment!

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    1. Aw thank you Kel 🙂 you me tupur husband?!! That’s amazing! Ok gonna be keeping my eyes OPEN this week! Ahah Hugs and love xox

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  49. I’m really bummed that you’re not going to India as I love that country and I love hearing of people’s account of their visit (I hope to go one day), but you’re right to listen to your father. And you have such a wonderful dad! I am certain that God has something much better in store for you. Who knows? Maybe you’ll be going on another exciting trip soon, just not exotic India. Take care.

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    1. Thanks Diana, yeah major bummer. Thanks for your kind words. I think you’re right – something good is def in store:) Hugs and love xox

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  50. You know, you ARE an adult, which means that technically, he’s “not the boss of you.” And that’s the way so much of the world would view it. However, I admire the fact that you respect him enough to value his opinion. It’s not obeying in the sense that you have no choice—it’s obeying because you know he loves you enough to speak up when he knows he could risk your anger or alienation. When we speak the truth in love, we always take a risk. I’m sure if he were a total authoritarian father, you would not have the relationship with him that you do, and he would not have done all he did during your anorexia to support you, either. He sounds like a champ!

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words. That’s so true – there’s always a risk. But you’re so right – He is a champ – one that I respect very much. Hugs and love xox

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