Divine Mercy: Prayer through Pain

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I think I’ve mentioned before about how I go about writing my blog posts. Because spoiler alert…it’s unconventional.

I literally sit down, and ask the Holy Spirit to write my post for me.

And then, it’s like the words just kinda flow.

But recently, there’s been a topic that has been put on my heart to write about: The Image of the Divine Mercy.

And quite honestly, I have been resisting. I was afraid it was too “churchy” or could be seen as too “religious,” so I have been kind of side stepping it.

But since I teased it a bit with this picture from last Thursday’s Chicago post, it’s as though God has been throwing every flashing sign in my path, saying…WRITE THE POST!

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But last night was the kicker. I went to a church I don’t normally go to. I was out with friends and I needed to go to mass, so I went to one in the area. And wouldn’t you know, not only was I sitting in a pew that was right next to this painting….

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But right smack dab on the wall was a huge mural painting, depicting the scene of the Divine Mercy. It’s when Saint Maria Faustina received the vision of Jesus’s Divine Mercy.

I could no longer ignore the prompting put on my heart.

So here it goes.

As you know, my battle with anorexia was grave. My junior and senior years of high school were tumultuous. I had managed to manipulate everyone in my life into believing that my drastic weight loss (I had wasted away to 78 pounds) was due to my ulcerative colitis. Which, initially, some of it was. I had a severe flare up at the beginning of my Junior year. But when I developed anorexia later that year, I would use my UC to my “advantage” and long story short, I had everyone believing that I had some horrific complications that were making me unable to gain weight.

Everyone, that is, except my mother.

She knew the truth.

Call it a mother’s intuition. Call it a gut feeling. But from the very onset, my mother knew that I was suffering from an eating disorder.

But here’s where things get hairy. By the time things got dire, I was 18, and legally an adult. So my parents could not force me to go to inpatient treatment.

And I might just be one of the most strong willed individuals you’ll ever come across.

Enter an intervention. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Back to my mom.

Sitting here, now, as a healed and healthy young woman, I often think about my mom, and what she must have gone through, watching her daughter waste away. Being the only one who could see through my manipulation and see the truth of the situation.

I remember talking with her years later, and she said something to me that I think will haunt me for the rest of my life. She said, “I had to prepare myself that you may die.”

Gosh. The pain I put this woman through. Even though I know she has forgiven me and loves me and we have moved on and healed together, my heart still sinks every time I remember that.

But the thing about my mom, which I have written about before, is that she never gossiped about me to her friends. Not even disguised as a “prayer request.” I mean, clearly, everyone could see what I was going through – my emaciated, skeletal body was a walking billboard. But people believed that it was my Ulcerative Colitis. Not anorexia.

But my mom knew that – if God-willing – I survived, that the only way our relationship would ever be able to heal were if our trust remained intact. Which, I know, seems like a glaring oxymoron – as I was literally manipulating and lying to her. But despite my deception, she knew that I needed to be able to trust her. And so she never talked to anyone about what I was battling.

Except our priest.

She spent every night in the Adoration Chapel at our church, praying for me. Pleading to God to save me and rescue me from the grips of the devil.

And she would confide in our priest.

And there was one day, during her confession, that he told her to adopt a devotion to the Divine Mercy, and gave her a little prayer card and booklet about it.

(And if you want to read more about it, you can get a book here.)

But it talked about how this image of Jesus was given to Saint Maria Faustina, and it shows the mercy of Christ pouring from His heart in a red and white ray. And underneath the image is the phrase, “Jesus, I trust in You.”

So my mom, desperate to do anything she can to save me, decided to read up on it, and went to our local Christian bookstore to pick up a few books. And wouldn’t you know, that right as she arrived, they were unloading from this big truck, a beautiful, nearly lifesize, framed painting of the image of the Divine Mercy.

It was the only one they had ordered, and my mom, recognizing this as a reassuring hug from God, bought the painting on the spot, and it has had a prominent place in our home ever since.

But the Divine Mercy is what got my mom through that incredibly trying season.

You see, the devotion to it, is all about the mercy of Jesus. And how we can completely trust in Him.

Saint Faustina heard these words from Jesus during the vision: “Paint an image according to the pattern you see, with the signature: Jesus, I trust in You. I promise that the soul that will venerate this image will not perish…I am offering people a vessel with which they are to keep coming for graces to the fountain of mercy.”

I recently asked my mom about it, and here’s what she had to say…

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I think that just about says it all.

My mother’s faith is something I will always be in awe of. So much power is packed into that petite woman. (She’s in the 5’2″ club!)

But I’ve said it before, I think so many times when we feel the most abandoned by God in a dire situation where we feel oppressed and unable to go on — it is in those moments that God is actually sustaining us. Carrying us through, moment to moment. And we can completely trust in that.

Last night, sitting in church getting stared down by the mural of the Divine Mercy, and feeling the giant weight of the post I was going to have to write…God came in with the final 1-2 punch.

The gospel was John 15:1-8. “I am the Vine, you are the branches.” We’ve all heard it 1000 times and can recite it in our sleep.

I am ten years strong in my recovery from anorexia. But if there’s one thing that I know, is that I cannot do this on my own. My recovery depends on the Vine.

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“Just as a branch cannot bear fruit on its own
unless it remains on the vine,
so neither can you unless you remain in Me.
I am the Vine, you are the branches.
Whoever remains in Me and I in him will bear much fruit,
because without Me you can do nothing.”

That is the “secret” to a long and lasting recovery. It’s not body positivity. It’s not positive mantras, adult coloring books, mindfulness or self-affirmations. It’s Jesus. Plain and simple: Remaining connected to the Vine, and showing up every single day to the fountain of Divine Mercy with open hands and an open heart.

Thank you to those who have bought my book, Bloom. It is my prayer that it can help keep you connected to the Vine, and help you open your heart to receive His love and mercy that were so transformative to my recovery.

Hope you have a great week, and I’ll see you Wednesday.

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***THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS ORDERED MY BOOKS, BLOOM: A JOURNAL BY BEAUTYBEYONDBONES AND “MY BLOGGING TIPS“***

CLICK HERE TO ORDER YOUR COPY!

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240 thoughts on “Divine Mercy: Prayer through Pain”

  1. Amazing story. I love the way God reaches out to those who are desperate enough to reach out to Him. Your mom is a woman who learned to trust the only one who could help — and, He did!

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  2. A powerful post. But then if Jesus is writing them, we should expect no less. 🙂

    Seriously, I admire your courage in being so open about your faith and both what it gives you and what it costs. I struggle a bit here, particularly lately. Well, more than a bit. So thank you for this reminder that I need to step up my faith game and a great way to start!

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    1. Thanks so much JP. I appreciate your kind words, Yeah sometimes I just have to close my eyes, press publish, and walk away! Hugs and love xox

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  3. This is such a beautiful post. I so admire your spirit and faith.
    I find it an amazing coincidence that I just wrote a post about a dear friend of mine whose daughter is still very ill with anorexia, who once said to me about her “I’m losing her, I have to prepare myself for the fact that she may die.” That ripped my heart out and you post this.
    I need to send him the link to this blog.

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    1. Thank you so much billy. I will definitely keep her in my prayers. Gosh. My heart goes out to that family. Hugs and love xox

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  8. That was beautiful and chilling. God often speaks to us and shows up just when we need him. No one could convince me that he wasn’t behind sending your mom to that bookstore at the exact moment the painting was to arrive. Never be afraid to post about God or Jesus. The whole world needs him now more than ever. Peace & hugs, Rachel

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  10. That is so beautiful!! (It might have made me cry.) I’m not a Christian, but Jesus is my favorite person ever. Praise Him to the highest!!

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  13. Ok once again a moving piece. The poetry of God’s Devine intervention through the persistent prayers of your mother; provide us with a clear view of God majesty and love for the least of us. You have become a voice to a generation, a voice of reasoned proof of God’s unfailing love. Thank you for preaching. Grace and mercy are never tiring. —Stephan

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    1. Thank you so much Stephan. Amen to that – His majesty and love is so amazing. and gosh, what a kind thing to say. Hugs and love xox

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  17. Great post. I sort of pray the Chaplet from time to time, make the Novena almost every year, but surrendering fully to Devotion to the Divine Mercy image, I have yet to do.

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      1. It is almost 3:30 AM. I just finished praying the Most Holy Rosary and the Divine Mercy Chaplet. I’ve been fighting some insomnia and despair for a while now. Finally, I did what I should have been doing all along, imploring the aid of Our Blessed Mother and Our Lord. Suddenly, the loneliness and despair are quieted. I feel the presence of Jesus and Mary here with me,(as they have been all along).

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      2. I’m so glad that you felt that peace! Praise be to God! Hugs and love xox

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  20. Thank you for sharing and your courage to reveal the depth of your faith. I struggle with similar things in my writing as I don’t want to alienate those who don’t (yet) share our faith. The thing about your story is that it is so genuine and raw i know it will not do that. Well done!

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  23. This was an incredibly awesome and inspiring post! I literally had goosebumps as I read your story. You are definitely a strong person to have overcome so much. As you know, nothing is impossible with God. The Divine Mercy Chaplet is so very powerful. Once again, truly inspiring!

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    1. oh my gosh, thank you so much Joy!! I’m so glad it hit home with you. Amen! nothing is impossible with God!!! Hugs and love xox

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    2. Struggle makes us stronger and wiser and defines us. Once we struggle we can appreciate life and paradise when we find it

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      1. So true. The suffering comes before the glory. Christ was a perfect example of that for us.

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  24. Thank you for sharing your mother’s faith and devotion during your struggle with addiction. My son struggles with addiction, and as a mom, there is nothing more terrifying as knowing that your child could die and you are powerless to help. Watching him or her slip away from you, becoming someone you don’t even recognize, is nothing short of torture. But Jesus isn’t powerless, and it’s my faith in Him and my own recovery that sustains me. Your story gives me hope. God bless you and your mom.

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    1. Thank you so much Diana, for sharing your heart. I will definitely keep your son and you and your family in my prayers. Addiction is such a tough thing. Keep the faith. God’s got you. Sending big big hugs xoxoxoxo

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    2. We are all souls and spiritual. We just need to follow it and for those who are not there yet need to find it. The soul is the real them

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  27. Great post! I also have trouble writing blogs when God prompts me for fear of being too churchy or radical. On the other hand I don’t want to meet him face to face and try to explain why I DIDN’T write it! You have a nice writing style. You, your mom and family are in my prayers.

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    1. Thank you so much Mary! Yeah, it can definitely be scary to press publish! haha that’s a great point! thank you for the prayers and kind words! Hugs and love xox

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  28. Someone introduced me to the Divine Mercy image and story last summer. I would take time at 3pm most days to rest in the chaplet. It was a devotion very different than what I was accustomed to, and it refreshed me. Jesus’ mercy is free, and that’s a beautiful thing. Thank you for following my thoughts and sharing yours so generously. I can tell you push past a lot of your own walls through the blogging process.

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    1. Thank you Rachel! Gosh, that is so beautiful. I love that so much. amen – it is free and such a powerful thing! Hugs and love xox

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  29. Sometimes the deepest posts are the hardest to write but so cleansing to the spirit. I cried when I read this, so much love from you to bare your soul, so much love from your mother, and so much love from the master who guided your hand, beloved Lord Jesus. I’m glad you healed you’re such a bright and beautiful soul.

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    1. Thank you so much Lorna! That’s so true – the hardest to write and yet perhaps the most important. I’m so glad this resonated with you. Yeah, my mom is one special lady. big hugs to you xo

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  30. Thank you for having the courage to share your story. I’m sure there are painful moments looking back and remembering, but what a beautiful story you have to share with those who may be going through similar things. God bless you and your journey ❤️

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  31. Caralyn,
    Over the years you have received the spiritual gifts of teaching, faith, miracles, and healing. Within you, you carry the healing touch of Jesus. It’s good to see you using all your gifts and exercising impartation of Jesus’ love and standing firm against ED. Well done good and faithful servant.
    Dan

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    1. Oh my goodness, Dan, thank you for this incredibly generous response. I am touched and humbled. God is good, and His mercy is truly amazing. Sending massive hugs xo

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    1. Hi Corrie, thank you so much 🙂 amen to that – I am so grateful to have her as my mom and best friend 🙂 big hugs xo

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  33. What a beautiful testimony. I am glad and blessed that you chose to obey and write it. Praise God for your mom, your mom’s heart, determination, faithfulness, discretion, and for her priest! Praise His name for answered prayer, for divine healing, and for the many more lovely parts of who He is!
    Thanks for sharing some more of your faith too! I love reading more about Jesus through the different faiths He shines through. I learn a little more of a Catholic faith through you! ❤ It's all about Christ! Me and God love you, Caralyn! Praying for you and your mom!

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    1. Thank you so much Gail, what a kind response. I am truly so touched. Amen! I am so grateful to God for my mom. she inspires me each and every day. thank you for the prayers. know that you are in mine too! big hugs to you x

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  35. You mentioned this story before long ago and it is definitely worth repeating. What a blessing is your mother’s faith and how reassuring to be loved like that by anyone! I know God loves us dearly but arms are so very comforting to fall into! Which more brothers and sisters in Christ got that, how we are Jesus’ arms here for people. But I digress… may God continue to bless you and I continue to love you!! ❤ 🌹

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    1. Thank you so much Tonya! yes! good memory! hah yeah, i am so inspired by my mama. Amen to that – His arms are the best, most comforting arms in the world!! big big hugs to you friend xox

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    2. God gave us beautiful compassion and kindness which true humanity shares as so in this comment and in this post. Here humanity has surfaced

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  36. Caralyn, thank you, and GOD BLESS YOU!
    It is a blessing to read you sharing Christ, sowing the seed for some, watering the seed that has already been planted in others.

    Luv. 😀❤️🌹

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    1. Aw, George. God bless you too, my friend. Thank you for such kind and affirming words. I am very touched. hope your week is off to a great start. big hugs xo

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  38. This is beautiful. It is so refreshing to see someone like you be as brave and faith filled as you are. It takes a lot of courage to post about personal things, and also about religion and faith. Keep writing from your heart – I look forward to your posts because I can relate so much. My recovery has been about bringing God back into my life and reconnecting with the Catholic faith that I was brought up in. God works in mysterious ways, and He speaks through each of us. Thank you for not shying away from this important topic/story. ♥️

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    1. Thank you so much. Gosh what a kind response. I’m so glad they resonate with you. Amen to that – God transforms!!! Big hugs to you xox

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    1. Aw thank you so much. Gosh what a kind thing to say. Yes! God has been so good to me 🙂 Big hugs to you xox

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  41. I love stories of redemption! Moms are so special and their prayers so powerful. Both of you played a part in a bigger story, one that displays the Great Love of our Father to everyone, everywhere. Thank you for letting Him talk through you, He truly makes beauty from ashes.

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    1. Thanks Lea! Moms really are the best 🙂 and gosh what a kind thing to say. God is good! Hugs and love xox

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  42. “It’s not positive mantras, adult coloring books, mindfulness or self-affirmations. It’s Jesus. Plain and simple”

    Excellent! Not us, but Christ. You know the truth and share it with others. So impressive. Thank you for sharing!

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  43. Awesome words! I am blessed that your commitment to Jesus is as strong as it is. I never knew that from some of your other post (not that they were bad)! I will definitely continue to follow your post! Jesus is Lord

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  44. Lameness is an impedement to the leg but not to the will and say this with regard to everything that happens (Epictetus)

    You are special. I see why the bright side is important. It fills a deficit until we ourselves can fill it. Or. Throw the cup. Drink from the river. Epictetus fits, your lameness concealed your will at that moment. I’m pretty lame myself. 😁 My family. Yeah. It is life. Not, it is what it is. That is giving up. Seneca said, “I do not know whether I shall make progress but I prefer to lack success rather than to lack faith.”

    I’ve never done anything to be successful. I’m glad for your successes.

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    1. Gosh thank you Kenzie. Lot of powerful thoughts there. I think you’ve done lots of successful things! You’re an incredibly smart person with lots of interesting and unique ideas – that’s one for starters 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  45. Yes God will intervene in our life if we let Him and are serious about going the hard yards to cooperate with Him in the healing process. He’s given you a second chance and you’ve not let Him down. Important as that intervention in our earthly experience is, the most important intervention comes when having lived a good life he invites us into heaven where we spend an eternity with Him.

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    1. Thanks Ian. Amen to that – God has given me a second chance and for that o am so grateful 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  46. Thank you for sharing this Caralyn. Only Jesus has got me through my journey with Neuroendocrine cancer,. I am back for another op soon but can say with confidence *I trust you Jesus^.

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    1. Thank you Andrew. Praying for you, my friend. Amen to that! God is the deliverer. Hugs and love xox

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  47. A fantastic post as always Caralyn, thanks so much for obey the Holy Spirit’s nudge to write. I sometimes feel my post could be too churchy or spiritual but when I obey I realize that it was meant to bless & help people. Greeting to your strong Mom for trusting God to heal & deliver you. Keep up the good work!!

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  49. 2 Corinthians 5:17 King James Version (KJV)
    17 Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. — When we receive Jesus in our hearts, He gives us a new life. May you and all who believe in Him continue to grow according to the new life He has given us! Thankful for your testimony. God bless!

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