[This post discusses topics such as suicide and sexual assault. We can all help prevent suicide. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255. You are not alone.]
I’m sitting here and my hands are shaking.
I am outraged.
Honestly, this may be the first time I am at a loss for words. Well, maybe the opposite…
I just finished watching the second season of 13 Reasons Why. And I have SO MANY THOUGHTS.
I wrote about the show when the first season came out last year, and the title of that outspoken piece was called, “The Negligence of 13 Reasons Why” if that gives you any inkling of my position on the show. And I highly encourage you to read it before you go on.
But basically, as a refresher, it was a Netflix series, produced by Selena Gomez, geared towards teens, that all but glorified suicide. It told the story of a teenage girl, Hannah, who took her own life, and left behind these 13 cassette tapes that blamed 13 people as to why they contributed to her decision to take her life.
It was incredibly controversial, not only for the subject matter, but for the disturbingly graphic scene that showed her committing suicide. And then, after it s release, the tragic result of “copycat” suicides that occurred.
They claimed that they were setting out to start a conversation. I call BS, and shake my head at the sheer negligence and irresponsible decision making skills on the part of Netflix, as well as Selena Gomez.
So why, then, did I watch Season 2?
Because I wanted to be part of the dialogue. This show is having an incredible impact on teens and touches on a mental health topic matter that is akin to eating disorders, and so I wanted to know what is influencing our culture.
I’m going to just go out and say what needs to be said.
Do not watch Season 2 of 13 Reasons Why.
Don’t let your mailman watch it. Don’t let your dog watch it. But especially, don’t let your kids watch it. Do not expose them to the dark and disturbing images that this negligent show is impressing upon the viewers.
It is rated TV-MA for a reason.
I have just so many thoughts. So many thoughts. My brain is going a mile a minute, so I apologize in advance, this may not be as well put together as I would like.
First and foremost: The absolute most harmful aspect, in my opinion, about Season 2, was Hannah, the Spirit.
Yes, you read that correctly. Hannah – the main character who took her life in Season 1 – comes back in Season 2 from the afterlife and “interacts” with her love interest, Clay, to the point where they almost kiss.
This is just so problematic.
First, a little set up. The entire storyline of season 2 is the aftermath of Hannah’s suicide. The whole show is centered around a trial: her parents have filed a lawsuit against Hannah’s school, trying to hold them accountable for her death. So as a result, every kid/adult/teacher etc, on the tapes has to testify in this widely publicized trial. The news is covering it, people are writing blogs about it, the kids keep talking about her, and reliving the past, and obsessing about the details of her suicide.
Interesting story line, right?
WRONG.
This is just awful. Awful. This is hammering the harmful perception of “celebrity” or “notoriety” that can be so devastatingly influential to kids at risk of suicide. Season 1 was bad enough – that after her death, the entire school was still fixated with her death because of the cassette tapes. Now in season 2, they’ve included the whole city and internet, captivated by her death.
Couple that with the fact that Hannah keeps appearing to Clay, and having him profess his love for her, and conversing with her in his mind — it erases the lethality and finality of suicide.
When a person commits suicide, they are no longer alive. Period. There is no “Romeo and Juliet” love story that can occur between them and their crush. There is no more communication with friends. There is no more connection or physical touch. They are gone.
And this show – it is infuriating how carelessly and just blatantly negligent it is to portray the victim of a suicide, still communicating and having relations with their loved ones.
And then with the world – and media – revolving around her and the intricate details of that time before her death – it is making Hannah into the cover model of People Magazine, or the headline of Page 6, rather than AN OBITUARY WHERE SHE SHOULD BE.
I just can’t. I am so angry I need to get up and take a walk for a minute. Excuse me.
OK, I’m back.
This season felt like they were trying to tackle, head on, every single major issue facing teens today, in the most graphic and in-you-face, get-people-talking way possible.
There was drug abuse and addiction; rape; sexual assault; homophobic assault; teens “coming out” for the first time; gun violence; self-harm; homelessness; bullying; cyber bullying; vandalism; teen pregnancy; hazing; suicide; school shooting; heroin detox.
If you think reading that list was exhausting, imagine watching – in graphic depiction – those topics.
The most disturbing scene in the season was when this outcast boy was ganged up on in the boy’s bathroom at school. And this is a highly graphic description, so please be warned. The four jocks repeatedly slammed his head into the sink, and then dragged his nearly unconscious body to a bathroom stall where they kicked and beat on him while flushing his head down the toilet 5 or six times. And then finally, sexually assaulted him by repeatedly ramming a broom handle up his rectum. This scene lasted for two minutes. And it ended with him naked, buttocks exposed, lifeless over the toilet, with the top 12 inches of the broom handle covered in blood.
This boy would then go on to bring a rapid-fire assault rifle to the school dance.
I’m sorry for that description. But that is what this show was. It was horrific to watch.
And what made it so sickening to me, was that it was being targeted to teens.
It just makes me sick.
Selena Gomez is a producer of the show. Kids and teens worship her. They idolize her every move. They buy what she’s wearing, listen to her music, and watch what she slaps her name on.
No “TV-MA” rating is going to keep them from doing so.
Next, the other thing about it was that the show made it seem like this heinous behavior was normal. They were portraying that, every kid is excessively sexually active in high school. Making it seem that heroine addiction is a common occurrence, and bullying to the point of anal penetration with a janitorial tool is what happens at every school. Oh yeah – and that kids have unlimited access to guns and assault rifles.
They were depicting a desolate reality that frankly is not the norm. And making is seem like it is is SO IRRESPONSIBLE.
It makes kids think, “Oh, well, there must be something wrong with me if I’m not sleeping with 2 or 3 different partners in one night as a sixteen year old kid.” Or that they’re a loser for not drinking or doing drugs like the “cool kids” are doing in the series.
This is not what we should be putting out there for our kids to watch and mull over and think and talk about.
Sure, it starts a conversation, but it completely destroys them and their innocence in the process.
And yeah, kids aren’t naive. I’m not dumb. But it is just so disgustingly ironic – the behaviors and patterns that they are trying to prevent, are the exact same behaviors and patterns that they are perpetuating by glorifying them on their show!!
It is just so counterproductive. And harmful.
I turned off the show, and all I could think about was this one very specific thing:
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
When I was in high school, I had this beautiful mosaic mirror in my bedroom, and on it was written that verse.
And after watching such highly disturbing material on TV for the last several hours, it was as though God was reminding me that I need to be filling my mind with pure, good things that point to Him, not the garbage and filth this world is producing.
That’s the thing. God was excluded from the dialogue. Hannah’s parents in the show were openly “untrusting” of the church and made that clear when they were planning her memorial service.
If 13RW really want to start a productive dialogue about those horrible things, why not include the one thing – the One Person – who can truly turn things around?
Arrogantly shoving God out of the storyline in 13RW does such a horrible disservice to anyone truly needing help from suicidal thoughts, bullying, self harm, rape, etc.
And the only other mention of God was by the student body president who claimed to be a Christian, but ended up literally having the word “HYPOCRITE” spray painted on the back of his car, after he lied about the rape.
God is not the enemy.
And perhaps, if we were to put true, admirable, pure, excellent material out into the world for teens to watch and emulate, the world might be a better place.
Filling our minds, and the minds of our future generation, with a bleak, disturbing portrayal of “teenage reality” does nothing more than throwing a cow into a field of mud and telling it to eat.
13 Reasons Why, you have been a detriment to our teens. And Selena Gomez, shame on you for endorsing this negligent material, when you know full well the impressionable age range of your fans. I pray that those watching will decide to turn it off, before the damage is done.
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Something I disliked majorly when watching the “13 reasons why” series was how a lot of my friends were like “wow I really regret all the things I did to people that may have hurt them in the past”.
Like?? It takes a popular netflix TV show to get you to realize that? It honestly takes $0.00 to be a decent human being and to not hurt other people whether that be emotionally or physically. The suicide itself on the show is super glorified as well and I do not think that something as serious as that should be popularized on impressionable youth.
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So so so true!!! I am with you 100% on everything you said here. We forget in adulthood how truly impressionable kids are. And with Selena Gomez as the producer…her fan base is all in that age group. And they’re all going to watch because they’re her fans. So irresponsible. So sad. So disappointing. Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for your post. I had watched the 2nd season because I have a lot of contact with young people from immigrant/refugee families and their parents would not watch or understand the show. I really got in a funk after watching it and kind of got kicked back into gear after reading your post to focus on Jesus. I hope it is okay that my post tomorrow will have a link to this post.
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Thanks friend. Yeah it is definitely emotionally draining. I came away from it feeling pretty raw too. I would be honored for you to share this with your readers. Hugs and love xox
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Another thought just hit me about how insidious the timing of the release for 2nd season is, It was released at a time when high school and middle school are almost out for the summer so less support for kids at risk.
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I know, i meant to mention that in the post – it happened the same day. so tragic. they actually cancelled their release party as a result. Yeah, kids need support in this world
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It’s not only kids who are affected by what they see on TV but adults too. I recently watched a very interesting video by a person with a specialty within psychology. He graphically illustrated how the brain works and mentioned that what we expose our senses to lodges in the brain and is stored there. True we may not remember our birth though I’ve seen other videos that show doctors activating sections of the brain with electrodes and facilitating buried memories recalling. The bottom line is the brain sorts all this out and while we may not remember the experiences that have contributed to our present actions those experiences have an impact on how we think and act now. Watch the usual overwhelming detective shows with their killings and you accept that as a way of life even though you may not actually do it. Watch the usual fare of marital disfunctions and you accept that as the norm too. Watch school and terrorist shootings and torture and after a while you say that’s the way society operates. How we see our parents act as we grow is stored there as part of marriage. Spend hours on computer working killing games and that makes it easy to transfer from the keyboard to a gun in damaged people. Leaders in the political, educational, social and religious world seemingly don’t feel impelled to make the change needed before we hit rock bottom in the Western World. Hollywood and the media certainly have no interest. When I though about all this I quit watching cable and free to air. I select from the enormous storehouse on YouTube and the internet things to watch which promote a healthy attitude toward people and enhance my relationship with God. You don’t have to be a Bible basher to do this. I’ve found since doing this I have clearer and better thoughts and more time to spend with others who need a listening ear. Nice pictures.
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That is so interesting Ian. You’re right – disturbing images are disturbing no matter who views them. I’m so glad you’ve found that positive thing to do! Hugs and love xox
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They are called, suicide contagions. But, can actually occur within the media in general. Subtle, spikes in deaths that occur by age and gender mostly younger and mostly male. External circumstances, 1990’s Wall Street, 2010’s back to back wars suicide killed more veterans than combat, celebrity suicides spike in the months after. The W.H.O. promotes guidelines and limits how journalists can produce articles on suicide. Art. Has less boundaries. It is a Catch-22. Though. Have you ever been depressed? Depression is a cause for suicide. Ever had a drink? Another cause. Do we limit these causes also? We. Should. Not patronize but, engage. Why? Are you drinking? Why? Are you depressed today? Come. Walk with me. The truth. We cannot stop media from occurring there is so much money in amplifying the problems than teaching.
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Yeah very sad. We need to be doing more to help and prevent these things. Media needs to take responsibility too
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Oh. That is not their job. They produce so that we consume. You know this. We have platforms to share but it is only those that schlep goods or services that really are noticed. The sell out super consumer. We complain but, to who? Each other? Like hens in a henhouse complaining about the farmer. Lots of emotion and yet no one is boycotting Netflix. Amazon pays crappy and fires you if you use the bathroom, everyone still uses them. This. Emotion can create solid stances that adolescent suicide is not art but, it will interfere with our binge watching.
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They are the gatekeepers for sure
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Good people, are persuaded to think they are not also a part of the problem with that belief. If I don’t watch it then it won’t happen. Yeah. I don’t blame them. I can’t, I don’t exist to them and neither does my daughter. Art is what we want it to be and so, this is as much our thoughts as it is who produced it.
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Full disclosure: I have not seen either of the two seasons.
It’s unfortunate that the series portrays suicide in such a callous… flippant… irresponsible… manner; I think a responsible discussion, especially from such a mainstream source would be incredibly important, especially for the target demographic. I assumed that was going to happen in season one, based on the original trailer.
For season two, a thoughtful discussion about the effects of obsessing over tragedies, and the ensuing problems that occur would be an important narrative point. It could even be a meta-narrative examination of the controversy that surrounded season one.
Even the stuff about ghost Hannah could be an interesting hook that examines the lasting impact a tragedy has on the living.
It sounds like the ingredients for a compelling story exist, but are either under-cooked or structurally rotten.
I almost almost want to go and watch the series on an academic level, but I’m not sure I want to subject myself to the emotions that I know would be dredged up. I don’t know if it’d be worth it.
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Thanks Kevin. Yeah incredibly irresponsible. And you’re right- the ingredients are there – the execution was horrendous and I’m afraid, detrimental to teens and viewers. Hugs and love xox
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It makes me wonder if the book deals with the subject matter better than the show.
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Yeah that’s a great question
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[…] you to Beauty Beyond Bones for inspiring this […]
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Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for posting such a visceral and thoughtful review, Caralyn. I can’t believe such things are allowed to be shown on television. I’m 33 years old and a Christian, but I’m not a prude and high school was really not all that long ago for me. I know times change and that going through adolescence today is a different kind of hell than what we experienced even 15 years ago. But for the show to imply that such horrific behavior is normal or even acceptable is appalling. Kids are SO impressionable, even though they deny it. I kept a journal all through middle and high school. It shocks me sometimes to read back through it and realize how impressionable I was, even though I was a smart, well-rounded and grounded kid who knew right from wrong. But as someone mentioned above, anyone who watches a show like this, or even just a show with violence, absorbs the images and information without even necessarily meaning to. I still have nightmares about accidentally seeing violent movie scenes 25 years ago. This is not the kind of imagery we should be allowing ANYONE to see, especially the kids who are being targeted to watch it.
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Thanks friend. Yeah I cannot believe it either. It was rated tv ma but I’ll tell ya, that’s not going to stop Selena Gomez fans from watching. Your so right – kids are SO impressionable. We forget that. Amen. Hugs and love xox
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Thank you. Your concern for people shines through your every word. Just some of my thoughts about suicide: For myself anyway, I’ve discovered that it’s a mood, and I think moods are like micro-personalities. When you’re in any mood, not just suicide, you believe everything that’s happening to you in that mood is real and the truth, but that isn’t always the case. Like in the mood of paranoia, you fear things that aren’t really there, but you believe they are; even certain they are, when, often times nothing could be further from the truth. As for depression to the point of considering suicide, if you can only remember that you are in a state of mind that is not real, you have a better chance of avoiding an unfortunate decision. Lots of people who think they no longer want to live can’t consider suicide because of their faith. The humility gained through faith tells them there are things they don’t know. Their faith tells them their might be a reason to go on they are not currently considering. I really admire your efforts in this area.
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Thank you so much for sharing your perspective on this. Yes – there is always a reason to go on. There is always a glimmer of hope to be found. Hugs and love xox
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Unfortunately, the moral of this story is that there is simply not much worth watching on TV these days even though the offerings from cable, Netflix, etc have exploded. I feel your pain, Caralyn, but the solution is time better spent reading. Ted
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Sadly I think you’re right Ted. Bust out the books! Hugs and love xox
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Thanks for this write up. Haven’t watched the series and most likely won’t after this post. Definetly not having my 13 year old daughter watch it. Thanks for your own vulnerability in writing this. Struggled through an eating disorder with one of my daughters, so I’m acutely aware of the heartache of dealing with teen issues that devastate families. So grateful for the power of prayer and the grace of God to get through those types of challenges. Thanks for offering the Hope we all need to remember which truly changes things.
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Thanks Richard. Yeah keep those precious away from this disturbing filth. I’m sorry you know first hand the devastation of an eating disorder. So glad that you also know the healing hand of God. I will definitely keep her in my prayers as she continues on her recovery journey. Hugs and love xox
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I have decided to read classical literature which includes biographies of some people whose lives I would rather not read about. I was struggling with it until I read what you wrote about watching 13 Reasons Why- in order to be part of the dialog. Thank you for helping make this decision. I need to read these biographies in order to be part of the dialog. I don’t want to be part of the crowd that forms ‘facts’ based on opinions. Thank you for calling out the harmful affect the show, 13 Reasons Why is having on the group it claims to want to help. I appreciate your courage.
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Thanks so much Melissa for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah sometimes the dialogue needs a different voice with a counter view. Hugs and love xox
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You’ve made a very important point here. I completely agree.
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Thanks Stefan. Hugs and love xox
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[…] If you want to know more about the show 13RW and why it is dangerous for youth but do not have the time to watch it, a blog I follow did an excellent job in a post describing why it is concerning. Here is the link- beautybeyondbones […]
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Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for this post and the warning. My 14 year-old daughter mentioned the show the other day, but I’d never heard of it. We will have a talk this evening.
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Thanks so much John. Yeah definitely talk with her about it. I’ll be praying for that conversation! Hugs and love xox
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Oh sweet Caroline!!! Thank you sooo much for saving me from watching the second season! I watched the first season for exactly why you state about this season…to engage in dialogue. One of my teen daughters friends had watched it and I wanted to be able to interact with her about. I even then blogged about it because as you state it leaves out God! The key element. My largest problem with the first season is that it’s so graphic, especially the rape scenes, that it could scandalize and or retraumatize a person. It’s really a no win situation for anyone watching. I think as a Christian parent ( and I’m catholic as well) we do a better service to our teens when we are willing to talk about the subjects candidly rather than expose our precious children to this mind searing content. So thank you again for saving me from watching it…. cause I was actually getting ready to watch it next week to do exactly like you did to engage in conversation….to blog about it…..but the bathroom scene you described let me know I can’t…and I’m grateful you did….but I’m also sorry your mind had to be seared with those images! You’re always in my prayers! Thank you for all the amazing ripples you spread each day on this blog!!!! Blessings…..Kelly 😇💧💜
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Thank you so much Jelly for sharing your thoughts on this. I know – it leaves out the One who could have changed the ending of the story. It gives such a disservice to those struggling by withholding the best resource available: God!! Just like you said – the key element!! and you’re absolutely correct in your description: mind searing. Thanks for your prayers and kind words! Know that you and your fam are in mine too! Hugs and love xox
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Wow, wow, wow! I will definitely share this post with my friends. I’ve never watched this post because I am highly sensitive and triggered by graphic movies/shows. However, I was kind of tempted to watch it until I read this post. This is so disturbing, the way culture is glorifying suicide and spreading the idea that the action could be another person’s fault. I’m all for addressing these issues to teens, but there’s a better way to do it. This is not sensitive to the young adult brain, which continues to develop into mid twenties. Garbage in, garbage out. We wonder why kids are hurting themselves and others and blame it on guns and politics. Maybe we need to take a look at the screens teens are hooked to 24/7 and rethink things. Maybe we need to step up as families and be plugged back into the community, and most importantly, Jesus.
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Thanks so much Emily. I appreciate you passing it along. Yeah it is beyond disturbing. The Graphic scenes seriously sear your brain. I am still haunted by the actual scene from season one. Too much. Too much. You’re SO RIGHT – there’s a better way to do it. Garbage in garbage out. AMEN!!!!!!! Oh my gosh everything you said — 💯💯💯 Hugs and love xox
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Thank you 😊 because of your post I stopped at least two friends from watching it!
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The 13 Reasons Why phenomenon is a red flag of a much deeper sickness in our society. It’s a sickness that God warned about thousands of years ago: “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he” (Proverbs 29:18). For many youths and adults, this lack of law-keeping and lack of vision has real life-and-death consequences.
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I think you’re so right – a much deeper sickness. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts on this. Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for sharing. I can not even begin to understand why and what gets put out there in this day.
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Thanks Avery. Yeah I still can’t understand it either. So disturbing. And sick that it’s marketed to teens – the most impressionable of us all. Hugs and love xox
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Right?!
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It’s seriously so disappointing. ✨💛✨
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I know the struggles of depression and suicidal tendencies all too well – that actually led me to Christ. I watched the first season but then quickly regretted it because it somewhat made me miss the times when I would cut myself. But I haven’t watched the second season because I don’t think it would be good for me, especially since I am going through a struggle of depression in my life right now. It’s important to remember that what we see – the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of us sees it as well. I used to watch a lot of things that didn’t bring God the glory and tbh not everything will but to keep thinking on the Phil 4 verses you highlighted will be a great start. Thank you!
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Thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry this hit so close to home for you. Im so glad you’ve found that peace that comes from Christ. Yeah I would definitely pass on the second season. Wow – I have literally never thought about that, with the Holy Spirit seeing what we see and WOW that is a powerful thought. Thank you for sharing that wisdom with me. So glad you stopped by my friend. Big big hugs to you xox
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I did not watch the first one. I will not watch the second. Reading your review I am so very sad for all who have or will – simply because they are caught up with the powerful pull to “know-what’s-going-on.” ‘Ambulance chasers’ from a new era. The Evil One knows how susceptible we can be…how our egos woo us into believing we are ‘missing’ something if we are not included in some way. Even in tragedy we look for the way we can ‘relate,’ in an effort to participate & not be excluded. I am so heart-broken for our God. We, made in His likeness and image…how disappointed He must be to see such behaviors acted out for profits’ sake from those he loves & to know so many cannot bare to even look away. I pray for all the healing that will be necessary to those harmed by the effects of this senseless ‘entertainment.’ Hugs to you for adding your voice to the dialogue.
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Thanks Dawn. Yeah it is so disturbing and my heart breaks for the teens who will come across it. And yes-for God too! Thanks for this powerful response. I will join you in that prayer. Hugs and love xox
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Thanks for taking one for the team. I’m glad you watched it so I didn’t have to! Suicide is most definitely permanent, I’ve lost family and friends that are not coming back in this life. The world is deceived and as you mentioned fights against it’s only hope for salvation – Christ. Great post, really important topic that needs to see the light.
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Oh gosh, i’m so sorry that this hits so close to home for you. amen – He is our only hope. And there truly is hope to be found. thanks for your encouragement. sending so much love xox
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It hits close to home for a lot of folk, but it’s not a fun subject so it gets swept under the rug. I really believe depression and suicide need more posts like yours that get the subject out in the light. Thank you!
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I completely agree. Thanks again x
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🙂
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✨💛✨
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I don’t see anything inherently wrong with producing a television show or film that addresses the topic of suicide, especially if it’s handled in an intelligent, adult manner that doesn’t talk down to its audience or (mis)judge its subject. Properly done, such as in the 1994 TV-movie To Die, To Sleep, addressing the reasons people decide to take their own lives and the consequences (if any) suffered by the survivors can have a therapeutic effect in helping us to understand and, one hopes, to take preventative action.
So in that light, I can see where 13 Reasons Why tried to go with its subject in an effort to explain why one girl killed herself. It tried to point the finger of blame at those who made her life so miserable that she saw no way out other than death. It’s not without its basis in reality; the video-recorded-and-broadcast hanging suicide of twelve-year-old Katelyn Nicole Davis revealed a deeply troubled, sexually abused young woman who was made to feel that she had no one to whom she could turn for help, and the revelations of her dismal home life show that there is plenty of blame to go around, and there should indeed be legal consequences for those who drove her to suicide. More than that, society must confront its unwillingness to address these things while people still live, instead of ignoring them and only expressing outrage after the victim has died.
The problem with 13 Reasons Why is not that it was produced, or that it depicts suicide in all its gruesomeness (maybe people would be more hesitant to go through with it if they understood just how messy and painful it is to die), or even in the way it seeks to place proper blame for what the protagonist’s abusers did to make her feel that death was her only escape.
No, the problem is that it handles the subject matter in an immature, pandering manner that talks down to its audience and injects melodrama that is wholly unnecessary to the story. It doesn’t respect the material and as a result, misses opportunities to open up the necessary discussion that can offer real help to those who suffer such extreme depression that they feel they are better off dead. If it were written at a truly adult level and weren’t concerned with going for cheap melodrama, and kept it real at all times, then 13 Reasons Why might be just what is needed. Instead, we have something that is far more shallow than it ought to be, rendering it ineffective.
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Thank you so much for your perspective on this, Michael. You’re absolutely right in that it doesn’t respect the material. It is incredibly shallow, going for the cheap shock value rather than a productive conversation starter. big hugs to you xo
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Once again, really as usual, you dear BBB have nailed it with courage, grace and wisdom. You are a truth-telling gift from God to we who “hear” you. I do not know if you have ever tried to identify your spiritual gifts from the LORD. There are some ways, but I would guess from your writing that you at least have the gift of being one who encourages others, and I think you have a gift of teaching as well. These are only my guesses, but they are educated ones from being a retired pastor;) I thank you for using what the LORD has given to you. I am also grateful for your graceful tone in both writing and responding to comments. It is one of those things I should work on myself. Blessings to you in Christ,
D.T. Osborn
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Thank you so much DT for sharing your thoughts on this. wow, I am so touched and humbled by your kind words. I actually have taken the spiritual gifts inventory. My results are in nyc – and i just flew back to ohio for another shoot today — but i’m 97% sure that encourager was my #1. Thank you again for the support. it means the world. Hugs and love xox
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I, unfortunately, have to agree with you. to be honest I got triggered by the ending of the first season and planned on doing what Hannah was doing… I had to go to the ER, I was at a pretty stable position by that time but the show really triggered me. I cannot begin to imagine how vulnerable teenagers would have felt if they were going through a similar situation. After that day I would never watch this tv series, I would never recommend this show to anyone.
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Oh friend, I’m so sorry that this hit so close to home. I am so glad that you are here. I know that’s cheesy to say, but the world is better with you in it 🙂 I know, for me personally, I know we have never met in “real” life, but I always get a smile on my face when I see your name and photo pop up in my comment section. 🙂 Yeah, this show is definitely super harmful and not something I would recommend to anyone either. sending big hugs to you. thank you for sharing your story. Hugs and love xox
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Thank you so much for your sweet comment
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Caralyn, thank you for the discernment you have displayed first of all in taking umbrage with this offensive program, and second for writing about it with such a great blend of grace and candor. The world needs your insight. I’m so glad you are here.
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Thank you so much for your kind words. I am truly touched. Hugs and love xox
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I never watched the first season. I can’t remember where I heard or read that the show pretty much glorified suicide. I almost decided to watch it anyway, knowing that so many young people were watching it and, with my background as a school counselor, I wanted to be ready to respond if someone came to me looking for an opinion. Reading what you have to say about season two, I’m glad I decided not to ever turn it on. It’s funny, I was actually talking about it today with my roommate. He’s our youth minister at church and he was thinking about going back and watching the first season now that there’s a second. I think I’ll send him a link to this post.
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Yeah, this was definitely a series to pass over. It is incredibly disturbing and destructive and harmful to everyone it touches. Yeah, it’s important to be in the know, but gosh, it’s a tough watch. I definitely do not recommend it to any. thanks for stopping by, friend. Hugs and love xox
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As someone who has dealt with these issues for decades the last place you want to go to is the ER. They simply are not equipped to handle these issues. It is a total myth that the ER will protect you because they can’t. It is also the most expensive part of any hospital.
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Oh Duke, that breaks my heart to hear that. I’m so glad that you are with us. 🙂 And this is a really insightful comment. – definitely expensive for sure. Hugs and love xox
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I just wish there was a new awakening to these issues and not the same old stuff!
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Me too!
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So what is the solution? The answer is not with the mental health folks that is for sure. Hollywood? There is so much misinformation floating around. The internet is a minefield that is for sure. The reality is that there are people who do have mental health issues that need all the help we can give them. Things like schizophrenia. Then there are those who are just seeking attention. If someone truly wants to kill themselves they will and they won’t be telling anybody. These issues are tough and there are no magic pills. When I was growing up the culture was putting labels on everyone then there was a period of time that those things got pushed aside. Now it’s back to labeling everyone!
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Yeah it’s such a complicated issue
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The thing is it really doesn’t have to be complicated. It would require some people to start acting like adults and put their personal agendas aside. It would take people to start taking responsibility for their own actions. This thing called life is a tough place and the older you get it can get tougher at times. People have to decide if they want to be a victim or not. If people choose to play the victim then stop wasting the time and resources that others who are really trying can get the help they need.
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Wise words, Duke. Hugs and love xox
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Hi Caralyn: it is a terrible commentary to the direction society has gone and is still going. I would never watch any of these series, because I have seen too much of it in real life during my years of volunteering at a Drop In, and doing Street Ministry.
Even closer to home, my sister attempted suicide 4 times I am aware of, when she was in late teens to early 30s, and we Praise Jesus she was not successful, as we caught her in time. For the past 4-5 years she has been in Long Term Care, having Dementia Alzheimer’s, not being able to walk, talk, recognize anyone. And that is an improvement in the past three months to what the previous two years were, when she was never out of her bed, was crying and yelling continually.
But a cousin of ours was not as fortunate, and completed his plan.
I can’t believe that anyone in the planning or production stage of these programs ever put any thought into people’s real lives who may have challenges, needing positive help.
I apologize for all that Caralyn. I actually have two primary purposes for replying tonight. One, is to say, I don’t believe you will ever know how many people you have helped, as you face and look into difficult, horrific things happening in this world, and share the bad and the ugly, as well as the good on many days, until you arrive in Glory, many years from now unless the Rapture is first, and hear Jesus, the Christ say, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
Secondly, I do have a great concern for you, as you put yourself in these areas that the enemy of all mankind has plotted, to lie to, kill and destroy. As you willingly walk into these situations to tell others of the dangers, you rise up on the Top Enemy List Of our enemy.
Due to that, I am praying Protection over you continually, a Hedge Of Protection around you, as well as the all important Shed Blood of our Lord Jesus to cover you completely, from head to foot. Praying for the complete Armour Of God to be placed upon you, with the Sword of the Spirit in your hand as the only offensive weapon you need.
Praying the Power of Holy Spirit, who indwells you, to fill you to overflowing, giving you wisdom, discernment, guidance in all things at all times.
I sincerely hope and trust, you have others, a team of others, possibly your Priests and Pastor lifting you in prayer also.
Thank you Carmen.
Luv,
😀❤️🌹😘
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I am so sorry Caralyn. I didn’t check the spellcheck, and it slid a wrong name in. Usually I check, or try to remember. 😀❤️🌹😘
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haha no worries! I knew that’s what you meant 🙂 heck, I’ll pretty much answer to anything….even “Hey You!” 🙂
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Oh George, I am so sorry that this hits so close to home for you. Praise Jesus indeed that your sister was not successful. and my heart breaks for your cousin. You’re so right, the show was so insensitive and truly negligent in how they’re portraying these serious, serious issues. And targeting it to teens?? Just awful. And gosh, i am so touched by your prayer of protection. It truly means a lot. And that is definitely something that I am keenly aware of, and on guard for. Because the enemy is cunning, and on the prowl. Thank you for being such an incredible friend and brother in Christ. big hugs to you xox
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I haven’t watched this program, and I doubt that will change, although you actually make it sound more interesting than I had thought. However, you are missing several points.
(1) Suicide has been rising among all age groups. Not just the kids but their parents and grandparents. That’s likely to get worse.
(2) In cutting funds for public health, the government is cutting the support network that was supposed to help with this. Heck, you voted for change and you’re getting it — just not what you expected.
(3) It’s still unresolved just how much influence TV has on behavior. Like hypnosis, someone has to be predisposed to do something or they won’t do it. We’re not dealing with the underlying causes of that predisposition.
(4) God may not be the enemy, but at best He’s a neutral bystander, watching this mess unfold.
I have an updated blog post on suicide statistics that will appear later this week.
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thank you Vic for sharing these important facts. how very sad and worrisome. I do believe that God is weeping, watching his children reject Him, wanting to save them, if we will allow it. I look forward to reading your blog. Hugs and love xox
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This is just disgusting! Thank you for speaking so honestly and openly. I knew it was a horrible show, but I had no idea just how bad… What a harmful message to send to teens!
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Thank you so much Nicole. Yeah, it is SUCH a harmful message to send to the most impressionable of age groups! It makes me sick. So glad you stopped by. big hugs to you friend xox
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I found out one of my good friends committed suicide a couple weeks ago. I WISH he could come back and talk to me, but – as you said – death is final.
I haven’t watched 13 Reasons Why, but it sure seemed to me like the type of show that really couldn’t have a second season. Seems like it was a bad artistic choice at the very least, in addition to all the stuff you said.
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oh my gosh Athena, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart breaks with you. Know that you and your friend and his family are in my prayers. Gosh, so truly tragic. You’re so right. There did not need to be a second season. Or, frankly, a first season. Gosh, keeping you close in my heart and prayers during this devastating time. hang in there friend. big hugs xo
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Yes! Yes! Yes! I have not watched it for all the reasons you highlight. Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful post regarding a heartbreaking topic! I will share this on my FB as I know quite a few young adults who watch and defend this show. I hope this offers them some perspective. God bless you!
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Thanks so much Teresa. Yeah it was super disturbing and I do not recommend it to anyone!! Thank you for passing the post along 🙂 big hugs to you friend xox
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I won’t be watching, that’s for sure. Sounds horrible. I meant to watch the first season because I wanted to see for myself what it was like, but I never did. So irresponsible marketing this to teens and just, well, awful. Thanks for your honest explanation of the show (even though I cringed while reading about that bathroom scene) and your opinion. Hugs! Jenny xx
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Yeah I think that’s a good decision, Jenny. It really is so irresponsible of Netflix. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
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Amen! Spot on. I’m glad I didn’t see that and and glad my family dumped Dish and TV stations (have a TV still for our own DVDs we choose to watch) back in 2011. Thank you for voicing what needs to be said about such harmful programs out there. God bless.
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Thanks friend. Yeah – it is seriously such disturbing material. Gg
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*hugs
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Deeply disturbing! 😢😠
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It really is. So sad. Thanks Mia. Hugs and love xox
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On your brief description of the series, it sounds like there’s a “philosophy” of witchraft (an oxymoron!). In particular, with the central place of accusation and spirits.
…
And yes, good advice; do not watch it.
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It’s pretty disturbing. Thanks David.
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While the ‘bad is out there’ maybe if more people focus on the ‘good out there’, less attention is given to the ‘bad’. Bad is just more attractive than good. Good news never sells. I don’t mean to trivialize, many valid points in your post. But there’s no way to ‘stop’ this….the World is the Devil’s playground. Turn off Netflix. Turn off TV. Stop feeding our minds junkfood from utube. Take care!
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There is alot of sickness in the world. Especially psychological and mental illness. Pray for those who suffer from the temptation to take their own lives.
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I tried reading the book, but I couldn’t get very far. I can’t even imagine watching the show. It just sends so wrong to glorify this topic. My friend suffers with all sorts of mental health issues, and she things the story is great. I feel like i can’t tell her my thoughts on the book/show without partaking myself, but I just can’t. Thanks for sharing and for the Biblical perspective. I just keep praying for the right way to discuss this show with my friend.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I will definitely join you in that prayer. Yeah it definitely is difficult and challenging subject matter to navigate. Hugs and love xox
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Wow! This is AWFUL! Thanks for the info. though I wish we didn’t need to post or warn about or against such disgusting things being made…it should have never been created in the first place. Sin is ugly and has no boundaries…as we can see with this series. 😢 My heart breaks about this. Thanks for sharing!!!
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Thanks friend. Yeah my heart breaks too. Disgusting is the right word for sure Hugs and love xox
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I read the book about a year or so after it was published. The book is actually pretty good, in my opinion. However, as soon as I heard that Netflix was releasing a TV series based on the book, I made a conscious decision to NOT WATCH IT. I’m so glad that I haven’t done so, and I definitely don’t plan on changing my mind.
Philippians 4:8 is one of my favorite verses – Both my college sorority, Alpha Sigma Tau, and my educational sisterhood, P.E.O., use it in our ceremonies. It has such a special meaning to me.
As someone who was first exposed to someone dying by suicide at age 13, it’s been hard. Several church members have died by suicide. The first instance, when I was 13, was a young man in our youth group who was 12. He had been bullied. Most of those that I have known have been young men or grown men, but there have been a couple of women. They range in age – The youngest was 12. The oldest was in his mid-50s. In 2014, there were three men that died by suicide within two weeks of each other. All of them had been struggling with mental illness, or an addiction of some sort.
As my parents and I were driving back from Florida this week – My mom’s brother passed away after complications from a stroke – we were discussing our family trees. I started to get a clearer picture of mental illness, suicide attempts, and suicide from several sides of my family. Very frightening and compelling. However, I’m grateful my mom was so open and candid with me. It’s not stigmatized in our family, and I’m grateful for that. We’re also very strong Christians, so I definitely see that connection / correlation.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. Continue being a bright light!
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Yeah that was such a good decision not to watch it. Oh gosh I’m sorry to hear that this has touched your life so personally. Gosh that breaks my heart. So tragic. And I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying for your family during this difficult time. You’re right- knowing Christ is such a huge catalyst for positive change. Hugs and love xox
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Thank you so much for your kind words, love, and support! They mean the world to me. XOXO
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Much love my friend. Much love 🙂
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Tragic. Season one was hard enough to get through. I’ll be skipping season two.
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Yeah I think that’s a good decision, Ruth Anne. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox
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First. Thank you so much for liking some of my blog posts! Second. I am very inspired by your honesty and faith and your frankness in speaking on topics for young people. Thank you for fighting the good fight!
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Thanks friend. That’s very kind of you to say. Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for this. Parents need to be warned that this is not a light hearted teen show. Our children must be careful what they see and hear-it impacts them more than we know.
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Thanks Sallie – you’re so right. Hugs and love xox
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ok so I understand where you are coming from, but here’s the thing. Bullying does happen in every single school, no matter where you are. If you find me even just one single school where it doesn’t happen than please I would gladly transfer there.
2. Whatever happened in that scene with Taylor is not the norm. Does it have to be the norm for something to be alerted? This is why we are where we are. A lot of people even doctors saying that oh no worries you don’t have depression or bipolar disorder that is just the norm for teenagers to be sad. Just because it’s the norm doesn’t make it right. We should start talking about something before it becomes a trend. Who knows maybe that kind of thing happens more often is just that people are too ashamed to talk about it and no one ever finds out and these things keep happening in the dark and left unpunished.
3. God. Where was God when Jessica and Hannah got raped?
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thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. you bring up a lot of really great points. It’s hard to understand why bad things happen. but i do know that he weeps for us, and he is with us during the pain. Evil is very real, and He gave us free will. I don’t have the answers but i do know that He can make beauty from ashes and heal our brokenness. Hugs and love xox
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[…] you for all your insightful comments on Monday’s post about 13 Reasons Why, Season Two. It was so great to read your thoughts, and have a dialogue about […]
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I thought it was extremely well done, thought provoking and entertaining. I see where you are coming from but they straight up say before episode 1 starts “if you struggle with depression etc etc this show may not be for you.”
So, if you choose to watch it and watched the whole thing, no matter how you SAY you felt about it, you must have enjoyed it enough to finish it.
Ssn 2 actually shows how selfish a decision it is to commit suidice. However, it is YOUR OWN LIFE and you have every right to take it should you choose to… unlike abortion which is taking another life at it’s most helpless and innocent.
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This program sounds incredibly spiritually dark – in practically every conceivable way. I suspect that it will take some time for the images that you have seen to fade. 😢
Not having seen the show, I’d classify it as one that is “intentionally irresponsible,” because the powers who are care primarily about ratings and money, and are not considering the long-term (and possibly permanent) consequences that such a program causes.
It’s all part of a carefully crafted world system that a) promotes the worship of self (narcissism) above all else; b) removes God from His rightful place; and c) propogates a breathlessly cruel deception leading to permanent and eternal consequences for those who are drawn in by it.
Also, there was a section of your post that was too graphic for me to read, but I commend you for calling out these shady charlatans nonetheless and holding them to account.
I will be praying for you and this incredible platform for ministry that the Lord has given you. May the Lord continue to guide and prosper all that you do in His name. 💛✝️
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Spiritually dark – that is a great descriptor. You’re right. I’m still haunted by many of the images from last year. Amen to everything you said. I’m sorry for that section. I debated including it in my post but I felt I needed to share the degree of horror the show displayed. Thank you for your prayers. Hugs and love xox
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You were obeying the Holy Spirit by writing that post, even though doing so must’ve been heart-rending. Still, saying nothing would have been far harder for you, I imagine.
At any rate, please be gentle with yourself. I’m glad to read that you are in Ohio for a bit – enjoy your time there! And keep doing what the Bible teaches – cling to that which is good (your blog is all about that). Darkness may seem to have its day for a moment, but let’s remember that the battle has already been won, and that light triumphs over darkness! The Good Guy wins in the end. ✝️💛😀
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My daughter attempted suicide last year. I wrote about it on my blog on Lyricslatteslifelessons.com in a post called Pocket Full of Shoestrings.
It was a horrible ordeal. It was the hardest 10 days of my life driving an hour to and from Dallas Children’s Hospital where I left my 16-year-old daughter in the psych ward. She’s doing great now thanks to great therapy programs they had there – but hands down it was the worst months of my life coping with the aftermath.
During the family therapy sessions, the other parents whose teens were in the unit and I had whole shouting/sobbing sessions about how the hell to get 13 Reasons off the air. My daughter literally almost died and Selena freaking Gomez was encouraging it. How dare she. How dare her team. What the actual…
Anyway. Good blog as usual my friend. This is why I read you.
Also, it took me so long to read/comment because I’m recovering from a hysterectomy I had last week. I’ll catch up on all your great writing that I missed.
God bless,
Melissa
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Oh my gosh Melissa, I am so sorry to hear that. Gosh my heart goes out to you and your daughter. Gosh I wish i could give you a big hugs. Praise God that she is doing well. I’m so glad to hear that. I know. I am with you on that — how DARE Selena Gomez?! She and her team KNOWS that ALL her fans that worship her every move and decision are TWEENS AND TEEN!!! it just makes me so upset. Thank you for sharing your story Melissa. Praying for your recovery, and for your daughters continued recovery. Sending so much love xox
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Love you girl! And I love your pen! Never stop writing.
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Thank you again 💛💛💛
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Thank you for your insight! I did not know nor could I ever imagine a show being that graphic. While the people responsible may have good intentions, it seems careless to me. I am a sexual abuse surviver and I know violent images can retrigger PTSD. (Other people may just become desensitized if not already) They do not assist most people with healing. I cannot speak for everyone, but Jesus has been faithful to me through the healing process which has taken years, dispite all the times I’ve been angry with Him.
My second cousin by marriage committed suicide at age 18 and he was not being bullied-he was very popular, and sucessful and seemed happy. . It was sad and senseless. It was also not anyone’s elses fault, though family and friends often feel guilty. He left behind a song just claiming he felt empty and that the feeling left him angry and not liking who he was becoming. That’s it. The song has NOT become a top hit in his honor. He’s gone. His family is left picking up the peices.
I have probably said too much but I want you to know I am thankful that someone had the courage to watch the show and warn others who would find it harmful for themselves and their loved ones. I share your frustration. Thanks again! Tara
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Thanks Tara, for sharing your story. Gosh I am so sorry that you had to go through that. And my goodness, My heart breaks to hear about your second cousin. That is so tragic. Yeah this show is so incredibly harmful. Sending you so much love my friend xox
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