** Just a note before we start: mental illness is a tough issue. And those suffering need compassion and loving support. If someone is incapable of making their own decisions, or truly not in control of their words or actions, in addition to needing the utmost love and support, they also need professional help. And clearly, this post is not referring to those people. The recoveries I am talking about tonight are the warriors who are aware and in control of their actions, and capable of deciding that they want to get better. I hope that you read this from the place of “fired up, tough love” that it was meant. My heart and prayers go out to all those suffering, in all stages of recovery.
I’m sure by now, that you have all heard about the horrendous things that Roseanne Barr tweeted out earlier this week.
In case you missed it, she spewed off some disgustingly racist remarks, attacking Obama’s former advisor, Valerie Jarrett. She tweeted, “Muslim brotherhood & planet of the apes had a baby = vj.” This is repugnantly racist, as Jarrett is an African American woman.
And since then, ABC has cancelled the show and done everything they can to sever ties and distance themselves from Barr, as they very well should. That remark was disgusting.
Also since then, Barr — in addition to apologizing — has blamed her tweet on Ambien, and additionally blamed a mental illness, (multiple personality disorder,) that she says she has received 16 years of psychiatric help to cure.
And whether or not she is actually suffering from mental illness, well…that is between she and her doctor.
But in the midst of the firestorm, there has been only one person I have seen come to somewhat of a defense for Barr: Jimmy Kimmel:
And this is where things get…muddy.
I have so many mixed feelings about this. Because on the one hand, Jimmy is absolutely right: a person suffering with mental illness does need and deserve compassion and patience, and access to resources. One hundred percent. But the fact is, mental illness does not make you racist.
And as someone who very much suffered from mental illness — hello, I almost died from anorexia — I can tell you full well the compassion I needed from my loved ones, who were pleading with me to just “eat a damn sandwich.” Of course, that’s not what they said, but that’s how society at large views anorexia. Come on, you vain waif, just get over yourself and eat something!” — As though it’s a choice.
But their compassion was exactly what I needed when I kept slipping up, or struggling with my treatment plan, or just plain hurting.
However, here’s the difference. — And this is assuming that Barr does, in fact, have multiple personality disorder, which for the sake of argument, we will take her word for.
When I was recovering from my anorexia, my loved ones and I did absolutely everything we could to set me up for success, and avoid creating temptations to fail.
My family created an environment for me to thrive: the fridge was stocked with my favorite nutrient-dense foods, and Ensure weight-gaining drinks. And when eating at home proved to be challenging for me, God bless him, my father took me to a different restaurant all over the city every night. We would go to different buffets so that I could try this and that in little bits, so that I could reintroduce myself to different foods, and fall in love with food again.
They supplied me with loose fitting clothes so that I wouldn’t feel bloated or triggered by my changing body. Took me to every doctor appointment.
And we took the triggering full length mirror out of my room.
And to this day, I don’t even own a scale!
But my family and myself worked together to create the absolute best situation for a successful recovery. And for that, I am forever grateful.
So my question is this: If Barr truly does have multiple personality disorder, why the hell does she have 2am access to a Twitter account?
Why would she put herself in an environment that has the potential to be detrimental for her condition?
When you are in recovery from an addiction, or are working through a mental illness, you have a responsibility to your recovery. Let me put that a different way: You have to be responsible for your own recovery.
There, I said it.
There’s no tiptoeing around it. If you really want to live a recovered life, it takes work. It takes fortitude. It takes sacrifice. And you know what, it sometimes takes decisions that are not fun to make — like not having a Twitter account. That is not a fun decision to make, but if you know that you are susceptible to sometimes having MPD manic episodes, the last place you should have access to is a social media account — especially if you’re a visible public figure!
It would be like forcing an alcoholic to live in a brewery. Or a former anorexic to play a character with anorexia in a movie, and forcing her to get down to a dangerously low weight. (Oh wait, they already did that inTo The Bone).
There were so many things that I had to sacrifice for my recovery. Hell, I didn’t even walk in my high school graduation because I was trying to recover at an inpatient treatment facility across the country. That was a sacrifice. And a damn difficult one to make. But I did it. Because recovery isn’t fun, but you do what you have to do to protect your recovery and do everything in your power to set yourself up for success.
There is no excuse for her words. Racism is the most vile of all transgressions.
Roseanne Barr, don’t you dare simply blame your racism on a mental illness.
That takes a big old poop on all of the people who truly are working through their mental illness, and doing everything they can to facilitate their recovery.
Mental illnesses have enough stereotypes already. Just ask the girl who needed to “eat a sandwich.”
Don’t you dare add “racist” to the list.
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That’s a pretty good outlook. Thanks. Not that I really watch any news channels, but…nice go, ABC!
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thank you friend. Yeah, go ABC! way to take a hard stand. now if they’ll only do the same for Samantha Bee…
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Thank you for being open about your recovery!!! I totally agree with you. I have known many people with depression, bipolar and other issues who would never have tweeted what Barr did. I think trying to use that as an excuse causes even more damage.
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Thank you friend, yeah it made me really sad that she used it as an excuse. but you’re right – tough issue for sure. big hugs to you xo
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Very well written. I have had more than one argument over this issue of personal responsibility. When you are dealing with mental health issues that doesn’t give you the right to behave like a fool! It is a real dangerous place to try and go into someone else’s’ mental state. What she said was wrong but those who start sitting in judgement of someone’s mental health they probably need to look at themselves first.
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Thank you Duke. Yeah this is a tough issue for sure. Great point indeed. Hugs and love xox
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You get to a certain point in life that you have been lied to so much you just say what is on your mind.
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yeah, life can be wearing like that
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One of the biggest things I’ve noticed through the years is that people don’t know how to make difficult decisions. It’s actually not that hard.
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I definitely feel for people with difficult decisions to make. I am horrible at them. Decisions are crippling for me
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It really isn’t that difficult a formula. It’s important to understand that when making difficult decisions you are not in a popularity contest. At least half of the people around you will not approve and that is their problem. the formula is this simple. When making tough decisions gather the information that YOU feel is needed and make it and then move on realizing that other people will not approve. Actually over time it becomes easier because people won’t bother you with dumb questions I have 5 basic things that I won’t budge on and coming to me with things that fall into those categories is just wasting my time. I simply will not budge.
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Hello,
I truly enjoyed reading your article. It was very touching! Thanks for sharing it with us and may God continue to pour his blessing upon you. ~~~~~Theresa M. Adams
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Thank you Theresa. Yes! God’s blessing on us all. Hugs and love xox
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I followed you awhile back because I loved everything about your blog. After reading your post about 13 Reasons Why and now Rosanne Barr, I think your trying to be controversial without actually being controversial. That takes no courage. I will be unfollowing your blog as I believe you are selling out.
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I’m sorry to hear that Holly. I write about things that are close to my heart, and mental illness is one of those. Especially since anorexia is a mental illness and I have so much compassion for those suffering through it, as well as their loved ones. I also think mental illness is completely misunderstood by the public and so im trying to raise awareness. I appreciate your readership, and will be sad to see you go! Hugs and love xox
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Finally, someone offers an intelligent and compassionate response to the Barr situation. Thank you!
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Thank you friend, I appreciate it. It’s a tough issue and I do have compassion for her but sometimes tough love is an act of compassion. At least it was for me back when I needed to hear it. Hugs and love xox
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Some psychiatrists have advocated making racism a psychiatric disorder, so it is not totally out of the realm of possibility. On another note, Samantha Bee calls Ivanka Trump the C word, yet still keeps her job. Double standard?
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I was just talking about Bee with my parents — such a double standard. It’s awful. And very interesting fact. Thank you for sharing, Lisa. Hugs and love xox
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This is really powerful. Thank you for sharing your story. You are helping a lot of people, myself included!
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Thank you Joanna, that’s kind of you to say. It was a long and often painful journey, but if I can help even one person, I will have done what I set out to do 🙂 your encouragement. means the world 🙂 big big hugs xo
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Love reading your blog. You were one of the first people to follow mine and I’ve read yours ever since! Keep doing what you do – you’re amazing! Very well said. Sending lots of positive energy your way!!
xxxx
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Thank you Cori, I appreciate your support. it truly means a lot 🙂 so glad we follow each other!! Hugs and love xox
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👍👍
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Words are so very powerful, don’t you think? So powerful that we must consider carefully what we send out on social media venues, as Roseanne Barr has hopefully learned as she deals with the fallout. So powerful that, with your post, someone dealing with issues similar to what you have faced may be emboldened not to deny an illness, but own it and make it part of who they are–but not let it define who they are, and can become. May God bless you for your courage— Mike
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You are so absolutely right- words are SO powerful. Thanks Mike for this thoughtful response. Amen! It does not define a person! Hugs and love xox
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I spent years with someone with a mental illness who refused accountability, would not trust those who loved and cared the most about his well being. You are so correct, mental illness is not the biggest problem, setting yourself up for failure and not taking personal responsibility for your well being, or trusting loved ones to help if you can’t control your issues is. We need to treat mental health issues like medical issues and stop making excuses, you can’t eat cake all day and expect insuline to fix your blood sugar imbalances. Thanks for speaking out and addressing the elephant in the room, well said.
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Thank you so much for sharing your experience, Jennifer. Gosh, it sounds like that was a challenging season. You’re so right – recovery require responsibility. And if a person is not capable of such responsibility, then they need help – along with love and support. Thank you for your affirming words. means a lot. Hugs and love xox
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I don’t excuse racism in any form. That being said, some people have issues that manifest in hostility, even if that is not “Them”.
Turrets syndrum comes to mind.
Aggressive Hostile behavior can also be triggered by messed up blood sugar levels, commonly seen in people with diabetes.
With Roseannes physical makeup, I would suspect such a condition to be highly likely.
As for ABC’s action, seems they are reactive and not willing to extend themselves to help their talent for the sake of ratings and political correctness. Shallow indeed.
Probation after an apology with appropriate medical attention would have been the better choice.
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This is a really powerful point. Thank you friend. You’re right, if a person’s mental illness manifests in aggressive hostility, then in addition to compassion and love, they also need help. And I pray that those receive it. Yeah, I wish ABC would have provided her with the resources she needs. Great points, thanks! Hugs and love xox
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Hostility is not a symptom of Tourette’s Disorder at all. Tourette’s is a tic disorder. Inappropriate words may be used in a very small minority of people with Tourette’s in a symptom known as coprolalia.
Coprolalia is completely involuntary and has nothing at all to do with hostility. Nothing.
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Thank you for being more specific about Tourette’s. What one see’s as a “Tic” can be interpreted as violent behaviour. I know a man who has a nasty case and when these tics occur his arm shoots out as if he was trying to strike, and his body spasms at the same time. Maybe I did not explain myself correctly with the term “Hostility”. It does not always imply Physical action, but can be used referring to verbal, written and even physical expression. But again, thank you for being specific, as I’m sure those with the condition would appreciate being understood instead of feared.
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I had assumed you had meant coprolalia (verbal tics with offensive or inappropriate words or phrases) when you wrote this as I was unable to think what else you could have meant. You are right, there are violent looking tics that could appear to be dangerous, however, this still is not a hostile act and is a result of a neurological disorder. Tics are typically jerks to the side, and although violent looking, are not directed at an individual and it would be difficult to confuse it with an act of violence or hostility. I am sure it must have happened, but I have never heard of anyone being hit by someone with a tic (unintentionally at least).
None of this is the manifestation of hostility. It is all completely involuntary with no ill-intent, violence, intended harm or offence, or hostility involved at all. If someone with Tourette’s Disorder (TD) has any hostility, it is because they are angry, not because they have TD.
Handwriting tics, which I think you may be talking about paligraphia may be comorbid with TD, but is not a symptom of TD. Neither paligraphia or dysgraphia are associated with being hostile or violent. I suppose in theory paligraphia could be a repetitive offensive word, but again, it wouldn’t be hostile or threatening in any way, and must be extremely rare.
The symptoms required to be diagnosed with TD are:
1 – have two or more motor tics (for example, blinking or shrugging the shoulders) and at least one vocal tic (for example, humming, clearing the throat, or yelling out a word or phrase), although they might not always happen at the same time.
2 – have had tics for at least a year. The tics can occur many times a day (usually in bouts) nearly every day, or off and on.
3 – have tics that begin before age 18 years.
4 – have symptoms that are not due to taking medicine or other drugs or due to having another medical condition (for example, seizures, Huntington disease, or postviral encephalitis).
Basically, if someone with TD is hostile, it is because they are hostile, not because they have TD.
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Any misunderstanding was all on me. I am not always clear with my words. The facts you have given us regarding this disorder are greatly appreciated, and it only serves to help us better understand the burden those so afflicted endure. Again, thank you for increasing our understanding and awareness of this issue. I wish more people would behave like you and speak up when they see errors need correcting. Good on You my friend.
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I realise that hostility may not mean physical, and to be honest, I assumed you meant coprolalia, the swearing thing people mistakenly think is what Tourette’s is all about. It’s a neurological disorder, and the symptoms do not “manifest in hostility” in any way at all.
The copro- symptoms are involuntary. Hostility is not involuntary. The copro- symptoms are rare. Here is the criteria for diagnosing Tourette’s:
1 – have two or more motor tics (for example, blinking or shrugging the shoulders) and at least one vocal tic (for example, humming, clearing the throat, or yelling out a word or phrase), although they might not always happen at the same time.
2 – have had tics for at least a year. The tics can occur many times a day (usually in bouts) nearly every day, or off and on.
3 – have tics that begin before age 18 years.
4 – have symptoms that are not due to taking medicine or other drugs or due to having another medical condition (for example, seizures, Huntington disease, or postviral encephalitis).
While tics can appear violent, they are not aimed at people, and there is no intent to harm. Hostility and Tourettes’s have no relationship in any way at all.
If a person with Tourette’s shows signs of hostility it is because they are angry, not because they have Tourette’s. I suppose they could be angry because they have Tourette’s, but that would still be an anger issue and not a symptom of the disorder.
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PS – Sorry for two responses. The first one disappeared so I thought it glitched before I posted.
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I agree, that was she said was 100% inexcusable. But I see compassion and humanity in what Jimmy Kimmel says. Maybe he has an inside scoop that we don’t have into the psyche and struggles of his friend. We all have said regrettable stuff, thankfully most of us don’t have the world watching when we do. Maybe a prayer and not a condemning post would be more helpful for someone who is probably swimming in regret, likely coupled with self-loathing and her implied mental illness.
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Hi Sierra, this is a really great point. I too, find a lot of truth in Kimmel’s tweet. I’m sorry that you found this to be condemning. That truly was not my intent, rather to use this situation to illustrate one of the most difficult aspects of my recovery: taking responsibility for it. I will definitely join you in prayer for Roseanne right now, as you’re right – she must be dealing with a lot. so glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
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Setting Mental illness aside I will never understand UN-kilter logic people used for attacking characteristic that are apart of evolution and environmental adaptation. That’s why a Chinese person looks different than an person from India, who is different from a white person, who are different from a black person. All of which has nothing to do with individuals who’s hate burns from within using twisted logic with their sins.
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Thanks for this thoughtful response. Racism is such an unloving and divisive thinking. we are all brothers and sisters in Christ, and I cannot understand the thinking behind it either. Hugs and love xox
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Hello Friend! Great article! Thank you for sharing your personal journey. I am happy to see that you are in a better place in your life. Koodos to your dear parents, they are amazing! Now to address the matter with Rosanne; I wasn’t at all shocked by her behavior, after I read about her racist remarks. I always thought that she was a very outspoken woman. What I am happy about is that she will have more time to address her mental state. I will definitely be in prayer for healing for her.
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Thank you so much Jeanie. Yes, God has absolutely delivered me from the depths, and for that I am so grateful. Yes I will join you in prayer for her. she must be going through a lot. Hugs and love xox
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You’re welcome. Sending “love and hugs” back to you xox!
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xoxoxo 🙂
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As you said, complex issue. As far as the aspect you chose to deal with, well said! I’m just afraid the whole issue of what she said and how ABC responded has more to do with politics, political correctness, and pushing an agenda than being outraged at someone’s foolish comment. The standards used are no standards at all. Which is very sad, to say the least. Keeps people from having honest, helpful discussions. Thanks for being so open. I enjoy reading your particular perspectives on issues. 🙂
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Thank you Kenneth, yeah I think you’re right about ABC. Whatever is politically correct, goes. I mean, look at the whole Samantha Bee fiasco right now – double standards. At the end of the day, Roseanne needs prayers. glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
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A great post. It makes sense from every angle that you could reasonably approach the subject of mental illness from and, of course, I’m using the term broadly. That covers a lot of ground so I realize there are nuances to different conditions that I know nothing about and, therefore, have a hard time identifying with. So yeah, I can give Rosanne the benefit of the doubt but that doesn’t mean I have to abandon my common sense.
I appreciate you not wandering into the “but what about Samantha Bee” debate in this post. That’s another issue for another time that I’m sure you will address. What Rosanne did was blatantly wrong and blatantly racist. Thank you for just “saying” so.
Once again thanks for a superb and thoughtful post.
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thank you so much for your thoughts on this. You’re so right – complex issue. and Yeah, the Bee situation is another issue for another time for sure. thanks for your support. Hugs and love xox
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“Responsible for your own recovery” works on so many levels. As the saying goes, the first step is to admit that you have a problem. We all fall short in different areas, but we cannot heal what we conceal. Thank you for using your platform to provoke constructive dialogue. Blessings!
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Thank you Rhonda, yeah that was the most difficult aspect of my recover to learn: to take responsibility for it. Amen – the first and biggest step! Hugs and love xox
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Le very well said, and yes, she is responsible for what she said. (I never liked her original show.)
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Thank you so much JB. Yeah words have power and we need to take responsibility for what we say. Hugs and love xox
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You are very welcome. Hugs and love back.
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oxoxox 🙂
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OK. Knowing full well I might be barred from the internet and fired from my job I am going to say it anyway.
I don’t think anything should have happened to Roseanne, a comedian who told a tasteless joke…. or even if it wasn’t a joke, said something racist on twitter.
This isn’t necessarily geared towards you, but really the world when I say… we all need to lighten up a bit. If someone says something that offends us, why do try to take away their life???
I didn’t support this idea when Kathy Griffin posted the severed Donald Trump head photo, or any other comedian who has said or done stupid things in the name of comedy over the years…. heck anyone remember Don Rickles???? That guy would have been burned alive at the stake in America today.
I believe in free market Capitalism, if you don’t like someone, don’t buy what they’re selling. Simple. In America today however, everyone is hyper-sensitive and wants blood.
I don’t get it.
Can you imagine if EVERYONE lost their jobs when they said something stupid or offensive? FEW would be working…. MOST people would hitting the unemployment line.
Maybe we should all just relax and not let things get us so worked up in the first place.
Now before anyone asks, I will NOT be tendering my resignation from my job, or the internet. 🙂
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Hi Keith, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I do think that our country has become hypersensitive and cripplingly PC, however, I do believe that racist remarks are inexcusable. I feel that there are some things are just not to be said. Even in a bad joke. Thank you for joining the conversation! Hugs and love xox
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I agree they shouldn’t be said, I just don’t agree that people should lose their livelihoods. Most the people calling for her head on a platter probably spend all day on twitter say horrible things to people.
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I do feel awful for her coworkers and crew who lost their jobs. I was reading that ABC may have to pay them millions in lost wages…which they absolutely should.
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I could not agree with you more. Great post lovely.
Debra
stylewisebydebra.net
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Thank you Debra, so glad it resonated with you. tough issue all the way around. Hugs and love xox
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My dear friend – I’ve edited and reread the following over and over. After reading some of the comments above, especially Holly who is leaving, perhaps what I will give you tonight will have some value. As always, offered with love for you and respect for all you accomplish with BBB.
I’m having a hard time coming up with a balanced response. Part of me agrees with most everything you gave us tonight; Roseanne was flat out wrong. You have to wonder how much her excuses were born of cowardice, not wanting to accept full responsibility and how much they were really the result of mental problems. I’ve known a few people who simply have no filter. Their wiring is lousy, and I don’t know if there’s something to be done about it. You know me; could you guess I have one sister who was a meth addict who should be dead and the other a narcissist who abandoned her own 3 boys? Sometimes I can’t believe we’re all related. Sometimes I wonder how many of us really get to choose… After all the warnings I gave the narcissist over the decades, she still continued to make horrendous choices.
I think Kimmel came the closest to the mark, asking for some compassion for someone who maybe is simply unable to put it together on an ongoing basis. Maybe ABC’s best play would be to NOT cancel her series, not penalize the roughly 200 people employed by the show for Roseanne’s horrendous comments, and announce that their star needs some help, which they will help her with. Maybe they should have stood with her, made a deal, maybe even a signed contract, that would dictate steps needed to continue with them, and explain to anyone who cares what they are doing and why. Continue watching ROSEANNE if you wish. Or not. We’ll help our employee get through this and let ratings tell us whether we need to cancel. Ratings! Not the loudest commentator.
Most corporations have drug recovery and psychological counseling programs to help employees instead of firing them. Why not ABC? It would have saved everyone’s job on the series plus shown them to be a caring, supportive corporation worthy of viewership.
You know how much I’ve supported you over the years, how much I care. Let me say you came off a bit too judgmental tonight. Yes, you made sacrifices and had a support system. But it was help and a support system you resisted, even detested, if I recall right. I remember you writing once that you wanted to get back to your anorexia. You did make the right choices eventually, but with a ready-made support system that was also an authority figure in the form of your parents.
Why am I writing these things to you? You know I came from a dysfunctional family and that I sacrificed a possible acting career to raise a better family than the one I came from. Tonight you sounded a tad like I have in the past; I paid for my own college, I made the sacrifices, I made the hard choices, etc. Why couldn’t my sisters or whoever else I’m upset at choose as wisely as I did?
So maybe I’m projecting a bit tonight. Maybe I only imagined I heard myself, because memories don’t always stay packed away as they should be. If so, I apologize. If not, please accept a loving warning about tone from someone who cares deeply. And made plenty of mistakes.
And I still wish we could have met up in NYC! We’re safely home. You remain in my prayers for safe travel and more successful shoots!
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Hi Jeff, thank you so much for this thought provoking response and truly outstanding comment. You are a great guy. I lamented all day and all last night, going back and forth about whether or not to publish this piece for the very reason you stated. My dad also thought it could be read as pretty judgemental. But I decided to publish it, because I thought it was a poignant opportunity to address the most difficult aspect of my recovery: taking responsibility for it. So I took the risk in coming off poorly in order to start a conversation. But you’re right – Kimmel was right on the money – compassion and support is what Roseanne needs right now. I was incredibly blessed to receive that when I was struggling…I should be the first in line to offer that to her. The only difference between her struggles and my struggles were that hers are in front of millions of people on twitter. And also, thank you for sharing those intimate details about your past. Those challenging seasons shaped the compassionate and wonderful human you are today. One that I am honored to know. Me too – I was so bummed that this past weekend didn’t work out. The only bright side is that the company hired me for another job for the entire week at the end of june! so yay for actual income 🙂 haha Anywho, I always take your words and wisdom to heart, so thank you jeff.
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I learned long ago that what’s written is so easily misunderstood without body language, inflections, etc. which is why I wrote this so tentatively. I also struggled, not wanting to be taken wrongly. Still, steel sharpens steel, right? We offer our ideas in humility and advance the conversation one small, soft step at a time. I am honored and blessed to call you friend. So glad you got another gig for June! Did you see my note about the Metro passes yet? Every bit, right? Also; gave BBB a mention in Wednesday’s article about how God specializes in taking One and going Epic! “Abraham 1.0” is the title. Many hugs!
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So true. I haven’t had a chance to look at my email yet! You know how it is – 12 hours on set, come home, stuff face with food, crash and do it again 8 hours later haha I will check it tomorrow at the airport! Awesome! You rock, thank you 🙂 and thanks again for this “truth in love” comment tonight. Glad you and Julie are home safely! Xox
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Wow! Just heading home today? 12 hour days? Sounds like a brutal week! Prayers for safe travel!
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Thanks Jeff! Yeah Now back to the daily grind in nyc! Thanks:)
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You’re so right !!! I’m not aware as to what’s going on but I agree with everything you said about recovery. It is our responsibility to take our recovery seriously and when you suffer from mental health issues , social media is definitely not a safe place . It’s barely a safe place for “normal” folks . I struggle mentally and I get off social media at times because it can easily be a trigger . But you’re right , personality disorders don’t make you racist. I’m glad she’s being held accountable for her words
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Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. Yeah, I’m with you there on social media. sometimes its best to just log off! Hugs and love xox
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Nice post! However I think that Roseanne’s show perhaps didn’t deserve cancellation, as many other political activists, especially on the left, have done stuff like this before and gotten away with it (Kathy Griffin, Samantha Bee, etc)
Anyways, interesting to see Jimmy Kimmel come to her defense. That was quite nice of him considering all the conservative-bashing he likes to do.
Also love that shaking finger gif XD
Anyways, good post even if I don’t fully agree — these sensitive issues are tricky sometimes.
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Thank you friend. Yeah, a lot of people lost their jobs – and that is really such a shame. i was glad to see Kimmel utter some wisdom about offering compassion. Yeah it’s incredibly tricky. So many aspects to the issue. Thank you for taking the time to read and joining the dialogue. Hugs and love xox
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Nicely put
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Thanks friend x
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Yw
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ha – i love the shallow dig at to the bone, that awful fuckery of a trigger-ridden movie
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No kidding. That movie was the worst. Truly the worst. Such harmful material. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox
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Theres no defending her tweet. Being that shes jewish, I’m sure she’s been on the hurtful end of the stick. In fact, I know she has as I’ve seen the hate filled racist, antisemitic tweets toward her. And I remember how hortibly shes been treated over the years. You’d think she’d not go there with others. She has had a very long history of mental/emotional health issues that spans decades.
The lady in question has 1 black grandparent. I don’t know you can really label her black….she was born to american parents, in Iran as her father was working with a project to improve health and agriculture in developing country. They moved to london when she was 5 and then back to US….cant label her Iranian either so Im not even sure what Rosey was thinking?
I do think that if networks are firing people for their hate statements…..they’ve got A LOT of firing to do….will any comedian or talk show host be left?
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That’s a great point – there are a lot of hateful comments going around these days, sadly. Heck look at Samantha Bee. I do hope that ABC pays the crew and coworkers what they would have made from the show. A lot of people lost their jobs and that’s so awful. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox
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Thats the saddest part….the many who lost their jobs who had nothing to do with it. The only thing I appreciate about any of it was at least she did it via her personal twitter account and not aired on TV like most.
I’m hoping somebody in TV land will figure out that its ok to disagree with someone without personally attacking them and that kindness doesnt cost a thing.
Hugs & 💖’s
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Amen! Thanks Laura. Big hugs xox
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Loved the wind and sails illustration. 🙂
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Thank you Ian, I appreciate that. Hugs and love xox
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I love making those quote art images
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I couldn’t have said it better. I haven’t heard she claimed MPD influenced her actions, but I remember her talking about it years ago when her autobiography came out. She claimed at one time that through therapy, she had integrated her personalities. Is she claiming now that she backslid?
Well, on the one hand, I have compassion for people with mental illness. But if she talked about this in the 90’s, she’s known about this for a long time. And you’re right, we all have to take responsibility for our recovery. If that means keeping away from alcohol or Twitter, then you do it. This isn’t the first time she has said outrageous things on Twitter. But she doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who it’s easy to say to her, “Put down that phone.”
If it’s true that her mental illness is out of control, I hope she gets help. For the rest of us, I hope it will be a learning experience. That racism is unacceptable no matter how rich and famous you are, and that if you have a mental illness, take responsibility for your recovery.
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Thank you David for your support. Yeah that was the hardest lesson for me to learn in my own recovery: learning to take responsibility for it. I pray she gets help too. And amen – racism has no place in this world. None. Not even in jokes. So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox
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“You have to be responsible for your own recovery.” Sums it up beautifully. Excellent post. The post I’m doing right now kinda speaks to the same thing. ☺
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Thanks friend. So glad it resonated with you. Looking forward to reading your post. Hugs and love xox
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She was wrong in what she said. But I would never want to eternally condemn someone to not be able to change…by the grace of God. So I am praying for her. I think it’s easy to label people and write them off. But that is not God’s way! He loves everyone and wants us all to be saved and forgiven. So I have hope for people that are racist…or whatever humans struggle with. The grace of God is great! The grace of mankind…not so much. I include myself in that as I struggle to forgive certain sins.
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I will join you in that prayer. You’re right – God changes things, and is the ultimate healer. Same here – I need His grace every day!! Thanks for stopping by and sharing your heart. Hugs and love xox
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Thank you.
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xox
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I appreciate your thoughts here. This is a difficult discussion. You are right that mental illness doesn’t cause racism, however, it can make a person say and do things that may be entirely out of character for them; things that they would never think or do when they are in a healthier frame of mind. Yes, we all have to be responsible for our recovery, but to be fair, we are all not in the limelight like persons in that business are and therefore have no concept what her fight is like and what she is doing to combat it. The bottom line for me is that people make mistakes. We all fail. Our job as Christians is to provide grace to those who err knowing that we have done so as well, not play into the vitreous battle that those without faith choose to partake in. No, its not easy. We are offended; we are angered. Perhaps righteously so. But we still are called to love one another.
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This is such a powerful perspective. Thank you for this. No one knows what her struggle is like unless we walk in her shoes. And you’re right – we all make mistakes. I fail multiple times every single day. And grace and love and compassion are free and we all need them and all need to give them too. Thanks for this. Hugs and love xox
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This is weird. Poor Roseanne! I watched her program religiously when I was a kid in the 1980s and 1990s. I haven’t watched or seen the revival. My sense of things, based on her original show, is that she was abused as a child and it was hellish. She had so many episodes that fought to raise awareness of minorities, different sexualities, and even tough issues like corporal punishment. (I can’t watch that episode ever again, due to my trigger issues, but the whole point of it was that it’s not okay to do that to your kids.) I can tell from the depth of those episodes that she has struggled in a lot of ways that I have. I can also attest that Ambien puts you out of control of your typing. I’ve written some of my funniest stuff on Ambien, and I feel truly sorry for Roseanne that she messed up and tweeted that. It probably seemed funny on the Ambien. A lot of stuff does. I hope Roseanne’s okay. Sometimes apologizing is all you can do.
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Thanks for sharing your heart on this. You’re so right – I hope she’s okay too. And I pray that she’s getting the help she needs. I don’t have any personal experience with ambien but yeah, we all mess up. Most don’t have millions watching when we do. Big hugs to you xox
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I wrote my own blog post about it and linked it to you!! (A pingback, I guess!) 🙂
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Thanks Meg! Looking forward to reading it! Hugs and love xox
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[…] wow. So I was reading Beauty Beyond Bones’s post about Roseanne, and I was saddened to hear about this happening. (I guess I haven’t been watching the news […]
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Thanks for the link up! Hugs and love xox
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There is no excuse for racism. We have too much of hate that is building up in India. Sadly, this seems to be becoming a global pandemic
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I agree Rajiv. No excuse. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox
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A really interesting and complex post – great read! I don’t know Roseanne’s history or anything else about her other than what I’ve seen on TV or on Twitter so I’m not in a position to be able to comment about the things that she’ said. However, I do genuinely believe that Twitter has become a toxic environment that brings out the absolute worst in people. It’s a bit like the school playground – you either become bullied or a bully; there are very few who have the courage to stand on the sidelines and defend the rights of both sides. I also think that, as with kids in a playground, minor disputes get blown out of all proportion with both sides sometimes losing all rationality. I’m not sure that anyone’s Twitter profile is a true reflection of themselves and, quite honestly, I would be quite happy to see it shut down x
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Thank you friend. Yeah mental illness is a tough issue for sure. And amen to that – twitter I think is the hands down most toxic of all the social media’s. Hugs and love xox
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Right back at you 🤗 x
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✨💛✨
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Interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing.
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Thanks for taking the time to read. Big hugs xox
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Well said. She needs to stick to comedy and put up her electronics at night. It is very hard to prove to a psychiatrist that one indeed has Dissociative Identity Disorder so I do hope she is seeking treatment for it (if she has it). The one question I have in this whole mess with social media… and it may just open a can of worms here…but why isn’t our president given the same respect that Valerie Jarrettr is getting in the wake of this. Anyway again well said.
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Thank you friend. Yeah I think we all could take that advice and put up our electronics at night! Great question. Hugs and love xox
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I loved this blog. So balanced and compassionate yet honest. Very happy to have come across your page.
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Thank you Helen. I appreciate you taking the time to read! Hugs and love xox
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I think she does have mental issues but with that being said if she really does have those issues either herself or those around her should help her by taking it away at least till the next day. I think a lot of this could have been avoided if the corporate environment did not encourage the behavior. I know they did not tell her to go out and do it but they did not try to stop her either. They knew the history and yet they allowed it to continue until “they got caught with their pants down” and no way to get out of it and then they fired her. Yes she may very well have a mental illness (that’s between her and her doctors to determine) but as you said before you don’t put some with a mental illness in a position where they are likely to have an episode. I blame her but I also blame ABC for not stopping it before it got to this point.
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Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. I pray that she has a good support system. That’s a powerful point. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox
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Always love your perspective on things 🙂
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✨💛✨
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Your perspective is very refreshing, thank you for taking the time to sit us down with this mess!
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Thank you so much Fr. Bench. Yeah a mess it was!! Hugs and love xox
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I still have not figured out my feelings on this. The tweet was stupid and offensive. But then again Rosanne has been a fountain of stupid and offensive comments for decades. It is why she has been a famous actress and comic. Until your post, I had been satisfied to just shake my head at Rosanne being Rosanne. But you have reminded me that she is a person with struggles of her own and I agree that Kimmel showed some basic human decency in his response.
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Thanks PJ, yeah it is such a messy situation because on the one hand, people suffering from mental illness need compassion. But racism is so wrong. So it is really hard. I think we’ve just gotta pray for her and all those involved. I agree – Kimmel showed his true colors, and it turns out he’s a great guy. 🙂 glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox
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Agreed. Racism hardly seems like a case of mental illness. It seem more than like a poor choice.
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Thanks David. Yeah racism is so incredibly horrible. It has no place in 2018. Hugs and love xox
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Some good thoughts on this ugly situation, Caralyn. But the bottom line is ours is not to judge because He is the only judge. Ours is to love and forgive
Ted
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Thanks Ted, you’re right an ugly situation indeed. And so true – love and forgive. SO true. Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for saying what needs to be said out loud. I pray that others will be able to speak the hard truth from their own pain.
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Thanks Ed. Yeah i will join you in that prayer. And for her as well. Hugs and love xox
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A very well-written, thought-provoking — and wonderfully honest — post. I’m still digesting all that’s transpired (and continues to transpire), but we all need support systems to help us define the rights and wrongs of our actions . . . Him being the best of all.
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Thank you friend. You’re so right this situation is hard to digest. Incredibly complicated indeed. Hugs and love xox
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Although you make valid points worthy of consideration, I am going to have to lean on the side of Mr Kimmel. My wife works at a state mental institution and she says Ambien can cause some to do strange things. She had a friend who woke up driving her car after taking Ambien.
My granddaughter also suffers from a personality disorder and she shared this YouTube to help me understand her better and I will share with you.
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Thank you for this powerful perspective David. And thank you for sharing that video – I look forward to learning more about it. You’re right – compassion and support are so needed for those truly struggling. Hugs and love xox
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Well said !
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Thanks J! Hugs and love xox
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This post gives some food for thought! I really loved that show (the original and the reboot), and was so disappointed to hear it was cancelled. But at the same time, when you’re a public figure of any kind you cannot say these awful things and expect it not to affect your career. I had no idea that Rosanne could be mentally ill, and I hope she gets proper treatment. I feel like Twitter is so dangerous now and people use it just for attention getting until they go overboard. Hopefully others will learn a lesson from this.
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Thank you so much Emily. That’s true – words have consequences. I feel bad for the crew and co workers who lost their jobs as a result. I hope she gets the treatment she needs too. Hugs and love xox
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