Overcoming Fear in Recovery

Before we begin, I wanted to quickly thank you for listening to my interview on Leah Darrow’s Do Something Beautiful podcast. I was overwhelmed by the kind feedback I received about our conversation. So thank you from the bottom of my heart! 🙂

Now onto tonight’s post!

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If there’s one thing that’s an overarching theme of recovering from an eating disorder, it’s far and away: fear.

Fear. It seeps into every waking moment of the day — and sometimes, even your dreams too.

It controls your actions. It manipulates your emotions. But most of all, it puts an absolute chokehold on your true progress of recovery.

I remember back to when I was in inpatient, the beginning was completely dominated by fear. Starting from the literal first moment I walked in — being stripped naked by the nurses in a back room to be “body checked” for any signs of self-harm.

Little did I know, that was only the beginning. Even just looking around at the girls with feeding tubes coming out of their noses, brought me so much fear. Daily needle sticks when I had to get my blood drawn. Having to face “fear foods” like butter, cheese, cream sauces, white flour, dessert – the list went on and on. The weight gaining supplement drinks I had to drink each day ((there were 5.)) Having to sit through the anxiety of not being able to exercise after eating. The therapist meetings. The paralyzing fear that my dietician was trying to make me fat and that I was going to gain weight and then never be able to stop. The changes my body would make. What I was going to do after inpatient.

I was one huge, walking ball of crippling fear. And ask anyone who’s gone through it — and they will concur.

Which, I think is something that’s not specific to eating disorder recovery, either. Why is it that anxiety affects over 40 million American adults — over 18% of the population?

Because we are all being ruled by fear, in one way or another.

So how then, did I do it? How then did an anorexic girl who was literally petrified of butter put on over 30 pounds in three months?

Well – for starters, I didn’t do it alone. I clung by my fingernails, to Jesus to give me strength.

But it was through daily prayer to Him, that He gave me a subtle shift in perspective, that – religious or not – was the key to unlocking my courage and overcoming the fear that was prohibiting me from fully embracing recovery.

And here it is:

Instead of being terrified of getting fat, or gaining weight, or having to eat this or that — turn that fear into curiosity.

Go with me here —

Yes, I could be terrified of gaining weight OR I could be curious as to what will my body look like if I allow it to bloom?

I had been manipulating my weight to be so dangerously low through starvation, overexercise, insomnia, etc — what would happen if I let it flourish?

Because here’s the long and short of it: the inpatient treatment facility was not going to make me fat. It was there to save my life – and news flash: I was starving. At 78 pounds, I was completely malnourished and severely underweight. And getting me to a “healthy weight range” was exactly that — healthy. Now, if they said, “Oh yeah, we’re going to get you to an obese weight range” — then, yes – my fears would have been valid. But no – a healthy weight range.

But – with God’s help – I was able to turn those fears into curiosities, and that’s when things started to turn around for me. “I wonder” became my new favorite phrase. I wonder what this food will taste like? I wonder how beautiful I will look in my clothes after I put on some weight? I wonder how much energy I will have to live my life when I adequately nourish my body?

But here’s the thing — just that subtle shift in thinking takes an incredible amount of courage to make. Why? Because you’re giving yourself the teeniest, tiniest bit of freedom from the eating disorder, which is strangling the literal life out of you with fear. Fear is how it controls you.

So allowing yourself permission simply to view your life through the lens of curiosity is such a huge recovery win — I truly believe it is square one.

Why is it that “Be not afraid” is the most commonly used phrase in the Bible?

It’s because Jesus knew this continual battle we would all face with fear. As children of the fall, it is our default emotion, and conincidentally, precisely what the evil one preys on.

Just look back to Adam and Eve. What was the very first thing that happened after the fall? Genesis 3: 9-10

But the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?” He answered, “I heard you in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

I was afraid. It was the very first emotion Adam felt after he ate the apple.

Fear is no stranger to our lives. You don’t have to be battling an eating disorder to know it. Fears of inadequacy. Having enough. Infertility. Being alone. Providing sufficiently. Being loved. Being respected. Every single one of us faces fear in some capacity.

We have to give ourselves that slight shift in perspective to turn that fear into curiosity. Turn that crippling emotion into an empowering force, propelling us to take action and turn things around.

—— A Passage from My Inpatient Journal —–

I am scared of my body changing, but I’m kind of excited and curious. And I realized that the reason is because my ED hit right when I was entering puberty, so I don’t know what type of flower I’m going to bloom into. And it’s scary because I’m not in control, but it’s also peaceful because God is in control and He planted me and knows exactly what type of flower I’m going to become. All I have to do is grow.” – July 6, 2007

Give it to God. Surrender that which has you incapacitated and desolate.

I will end with a quote from Saint John Paul II that truly sums up my recovery in a nutshell. If there’s one thing I would tell my former self, walking into inpatient that day, about ready to face the greatest challenge of my life, it would be this:

Remember that you are never alone, Christ is with you on your journey every day of your lives! He has called you and chosen you to live in the freedom of the children of God. Turn to Him in prayer and in love. Ask Him to grant you the courage and strength to live in this freedom always. Walk with Him who is ‘the Way, the Truth and the Life.’”

**To get a copy of my interactive journal, Bloom, based off of my own Inpatient Journal, click here. I created this book because it’s what I wish I would have had during that crucial time in my life.”

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

Comes in lots of different colors!

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139 responses to “Overcoming Fear in Recovery”

  1. My therapist! You have no idea how this hit me tonight! When I entered college after 4 years of public school – no real education – I realized that school was no longer automatic. If I screwed up too much, they could expel me. AND keep my money! Fear took hold and became my motivator.

    My freshman year ended with a GPA of 3.8, one quarter at 4.0, and honors. Fear worked!

    Fear has been my “gas” my whole life, even a point of pride. “Look what fear motivated me to accomplish!” But I’ve been starting to see how it has limited me my whole life. I still have goals, but fear is stopping me. Did you ever see Back to the Future?

    “I don’t think I can take that kind of rejection…”

    Turn fear into curiosity. Now there’s a thought! But fear keeps me where I am, because failure is so horrid to me. But curiosity… If I can release the horror of failure, is it possible at my age to snatch curiosity out of the jaws of fear? You’re making me think it’s possible. Maybe. Maybe we can talk in a few months.

    That passage from your journal is powerful! I’m so glad that you are delving back into those roots and sharing your lessons with us. Because we’re all recovering from something.

    • Hi Jeff! I’m so glad this struck a chord with you tonight! Yes! Fear can be such a driving force in our lives. And thank you for sharing that about college — dang, what a GPA!! And you’re so right – curiosity gives us the permission to have any outcome that transpires, whereas trying and failing — that brings up a lot of fear in me too 🙂 thank you so much Jeff, I really appreciate that! Oh it’s definitely more than possible! sending big hugs to you and Julie tonight! xox

    • Thanks Ryan, I appreciate your warm reception of this!! have a great week! hugs xox

    • Thank you so much! Yes! Curiosity gives us that freedom to try!! so glad you stopped by! big hugs to you xox

    • Oh gosh, thank you so much Larry, I’m so glad it hit home with you, and thank you for your prayers! big hugs xox

  2. Top two takeaways:
    We are all being ruled by fear in one way or another.
    Turn fear into curiosity.

    Frankly, I am a harmony lover who hates conflict. And today my job put me in the messy middle of it.
    Thanks for the refocus, Caralyn!
    I am hanging on to Jesus by my fingernails!

    • Hi David, thank you so much for taking the time to read! Yes! into curiosity!! I’m right there with ya – I hate conflict too. I’m sorry today put you in the middle of it. Hang on dear friend! hugs to you xox

    • Thank you so much Brendan. I really appreciate you taking the time to stop by and read it!! Hope you have a beautiful weekend. Hugs and love xox

  3. Another beautifully written piece full of truth. And you are right that fear is not particular to EDs alone. In facing the abuse I went through as a child, I find fear to be a very present factor.

    But God is good and be patient with us, waking with us on our road to recovery. We just need to be patient with ourselves and discover the courage to face the fears.

    • Hi Kirk! Thank you so much – yeah applicable to everyone i think. And gosh, I’m so sorry to hear that you endured abuse as a child. That absolutely breaks my heart. And i wish i could give you a big hug through the screen. You’re so right – He walks with us down that flat. Patience and courage. I really appreciate you sharing your story. Sending you so much love xox

  4. Hey Caralyn:
    You have shown the way of Victory again, Victory in getting you through recovery of ED, but also the way for Victory in any situations, disorders, substance abuse.

    I Praise Jesus for you Caralyn, thankful for the pleasing way you always share Truth, Love, Christ, which are synonymous too, really.

    I trust I didn’t get carried too far in copying Scripture below, but wish to emphasize what you are saying, and how your words are right on.

    —God is willing and desires to remove all fear, in whatever situation we find ourselves in.
    —God breathes Life into our body, then again breathes Spiritual Life (Holy Spirit) into us when we are Born Again, accepting Jesus Christ as Saviour.
    —God not only gives us Strength to do things and gain Victory, He is our Strength.

    All capitalized words are used by me for emphasis.

    1 John 4:18
    There is NO FEAR IN LOVE. But PERFECT LOVE DRIVES OUT FEAR because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

    Isaiah 41:10
    So DO NOT FEAR, for I am with you;
    do not be dismayed, for I AM YOUR GOD.
    I WILL STRENGTHEN and help you;
    I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

    Isaiah 41:13
    who takes hold of your right hand
    and says to you, DO NOT FEAR;
    I will help you.

    Ezekiel 37:5
    5 This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make BREATH enter you, and you will come to life.

    John 20:22
    22 And with that he BREATHED on them and said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.

    Ephesians 1:18-21
    18 I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, 19 and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty STRENGTH 20 he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, 21 far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.

    Philippians 4:13
    13 I can do all this through him who gives me STRENGTH.

    1 Timothy 1:12
    I thank CHRIST JESUS OUR LORD who has given me STRENGTH, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service.

    1 Peter 4:11
    11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the STRENGTH GOD PROVIDES so that in all things GOD MAY BE PRAISED THROUGH JESUS CHRIST. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.


    • Hi George! Thank you so much for your kind words 🙂 I am truly touched by your encouragement. Amen – God desires to remove all fear and give us strength!! And what a blessing is that?! I absolutely LOVE those verses – thank you for sharing that with me 🙂 so glad you stopped by, George. I hope you have a beautiful weekend. Hugs and love xox

  5. Fear is so destructive when it isn’t transformed into anything else. I’ve personally developed enough courage to run towards my fears to prevent them from chasing me. The lesson it taught me is the fear is always bigger than the “thing” itself. Thanks for sharing your personal experiences. That alone can be frightening for some. 💪👍

    • Hi Deb! Thank you so much 🙂 yes! Curiosity gives us the freedom to try things without the fear of failure!! So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  6. Thank you for this post. I was fired from my job of over 28 years two months ago. Fear was huge and I was a mess until I finally said to Jesus please make me stop crying. The next day I felt him tell me to go to my floor and say a formal goodbye. The very next day my entire perspective changed and I am looking forward to what he has in store for me. Thankfully I am able to take the summer off and enjoy my children and then watch out world Big Red will be back to do Big Stuf!!

    • Thank you so much Rachel for sharing your story. Yes! He has something incredible in store for you! Big Stuff indeed!! So glad you stopped by! Big hugs xox

  7. Indeed, there is nothing more liberating than facing (and overcoming) your fears… Once you experience the liberation from facing fear, you will discover an inner strength you never knew you had.

    “Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear” – Mark Twain

    • You’re so right about that MW! the liberation is life changing!! Hooray for that! So glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

  8. “I could be terrified of gaining weight OR I could be curious as to what will my body look like if I allow it to bloom?”

    That’s so awesome! From the other side of body weight issues: I’d been overweight since teenage years, and “curiosity” helped me a lot too, shifting from feeling bad about myself to wondering what it would feel like to be in my normal BMI range.
    Thank you for sharing!

    • Thank you so much for your support, and for sharing your story. Yes!! Hooray for curiosity!! Hugs and love xox

  9. Great post and message! I stopped on my own, by myself, because I was afraid of dying, yet putting weight back on was scary too. It still is, even now. ED’s are lifelong, but curiosity can be too. Love that 💖

    • Thank you so much Paula!! And way to go on your recovery!! Life long curiosity – love that idea 🙂 Hugs and love xox

  10. A useful blog here as usual. Most of my working life I’ve had administrative postings that required courage and its my nature to tackle what people say can’t be done and find that in better than fifty percent of the time it can be done. But in retirement I went through a few weeks of sickness that had its worst manifestations at night, so developed a fear of going to bed which just made the situation worse. My doctor loaned me a book which showed that fear is a choice and we can choose not to fear. It was easier to accept that intellectually but harder to put into practice. But I’m a fighter and resolved that fear being a choice I chose not to fear and everything sorted out. Fortunately I didn’t need clinical intervention as you did, but I think I can understand how powerful fear was for you. I’m so glad you chose not to fear and came out of your impossible situation. 🙂

    • Thanks so much Ian 🙂 thanks for sharing that – fear is a choice – what a powerful truth. Amen to that!! And yes! I’m so grateful for that too 🙂 hope you have a beautiful weekend! Hugs and love xox

  11. My dear friend,

    life is a balancing act, a rope which is spanned between two extremes -when we take too much from one side – we will fall and when taking to less from the other side – we also will fall. We are indeed manipulated by the society – they dictate (the few people who steer the ship of society) what is in fashion for example: a model has to be slim, cool men drink alcohol, ordinary people sit in front of their tvs and watch crime films, get the ideas from them what is good or bad – this all has deep consequences into us, for our lives – so the middle way is the balanced way: not to take too much from this or that, not to take to less from this or that. Believing in Christ is our balancing pole while balancing on the rope of life. And it is also said: What we think, we become – so each thought that we develop in us bears fruit – be the thought negative or positve – when we think and imagine positively then we have already put the seed of hope into the soil of growing reality – seeds that will manifest sooner or later. Curiosity goes along with this kind of instrument.

    Thanks for sharing, my dear friend
    Hugs and love

    • Thank you so much Didi for this beautiful response. – you’re right! a balancing act. And I love that! Seeds of hope!yes! hugs xo

      • Thank you, dear Michael and Joya 🙂
        Christpower or Godpower is the love for all people, no matter what skin colour they bear, what relgion they belong to – as we are first of all – all human beings, the children of the Christpower. When this is understand among different religions – we will not see the question arising which religion is true or less true, not the fight between different cultures and religions, but we would then understand that we are all one family in the garden of God.

        All my good wishes for you and big hugs

  12. I want to say a heartfelt thank you for your inspiring words! I am currently recovering from a nightmarish part of my life which left me traumatised and clinging to control. I will follow your advice… because I am curious to who I will become after moving on. Thank you!!

    • Hi friend, thank you so much for sharing your story. i’m sorry to hear that you’re going through a tough patch right now. I will definitely be keeping you in my prayers! And yes! that curiosity is the key to courage and freedom! hugs xo

  13. You have taught me so much. I was always curious. Curiosity served me well till I became heavily involved with a narcissist. You have made me consider opening myself up to curiosity about life again.

    • Oh gosh, thank you so much 🙂 I’m so glad this resonated with you – curiosity is really the key to freedom. Yes!! Big hugs to you xo

  14. I am so Thankful!
    First, to my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, for always…faithfully… answering prayer with Love.
    His Perfect Love, does indeed, cast away all fear.
    And, Thank YOU, for the work YOU DO, faithfully!
    This is exactly what I am trying to achieve, wiith the film, and with the website, yet I can’t seem to find the time to reach the ones, as I, myself once was, when I was scared and lonely, in recovery…though your suurrounded by people who have been there; people who understand your situation.
    Maybe not your own personal, story, of how you got there, but…
    it is so amazing, and comforting, to everyone who first goes into treatment, then recovery groups…of how much our stories, ARE so much alike, at least, emotionally😂
    The same Root symptoms, and emotions, are what brings us, to seek, or be loved , into getting help in the first place.

    I am so excited and can hardly wait, to share you in a few moments, with our “family” of faithful readers, who have weathered the “bumps”, as I.finf my footing,, on “our” website!
    And, finally! Recovery, that’s not “afraid” , to tell about the ONLY, Way, TRUTH, to LIFE… JESUS!

    • Thank you so much 🙂 You’re right! It gives you the freedom to try, without the pressure of a certain outcome! big hugs xo

  15. I know you will not mind if I steal some of this for assistance in dropping weight. I have fear about letting go of my weight. You asked good questions. Questions that I can turn around and use for my situation. Are you in Colorado Springs right now? The top photo looks familiar. If you are and want to meet for tea or coffee, let me know.

    • Absolutely!! Thanks so much Melissa, for sharing your heart on this. You’re right – I think this is somehting that is applicable to every challenging situation we face in life. You’re so sweet — I’m actually in NYC — that photo was taken in Utah last summer around this time. I just thought it spoke to the theme of the post: facing mountains, etc. haha but next time i’m in Co Springs, I will surely take you up on that offer!! You’ve got this, my friend! hugs xo

      • I’d love to! Your photo kind of reminds me of the , no longer running, ski resort at the Broadmoor hotel. The mountain still bears the mark of the slopes.

  16. I started looking around the internet at ED sites. Most are geared toward anorexia. The sites I did visit about anorexia and read the reasons behind it showed me that many of the same reasons are behind both eating disorders. I think our society still views people who are overweight as just lacking self control. If they just had a bit more discipline…
    Thank you for your posts on your recovery, Cara. It can’t be easy but it is appreciated.

    • You’re so right about that. I always say that weight — no matter which end of the spectrum — is simply a manifestation of what’s going on internally. You’re right about that — lots of misconceptions about it. It’s really sad. Thanks for always being in my corner!! Sending you so so much love 🙂 have a great weekend xox

  17. “If the bad news is that we can know another, and be known, only as deeply as we know ourselves—and coming to know ourselves can be a long and arduous journey—the good news is that love helps and inspires us to develop this deeper self-knowledge. . . . For this reason, relationships can help us face and understand ourselves more rapidly and profoundly than any other aspect of worldly life. Seen in this light, love becomes a path of awakening—rousing us from the sleep of old, unconscious patterns into the freshness and immediacy of living more fully in the present, in accord with who we really are. This is the source of a deeper kind of happiness, which goes far beyond pleasure and comfort, and the only real basis for healthy and satisfying relationships.” John Welwood, Love and Awakening: Discovering the Sacred Path of Intimate Relationship (HarperPerennial: 1996), xiii-xiv.

    • Wow, what a powerful quote. Thank you so much for sharing that with me. Great food for thought to carry into the weekend! hugs xox

  18. Redirecting fear into curiosity is an excellent approach to the issue, and this is excellent advice. It must’ve been some serious faith for someone in your situation to do what you did, but — with the benefit of ‘hindsight’ — I’m not particularly surprised:

    I think you’re pretty amazing.

    • Thank you so much Matt, gosh, you’re kind to say that. Yeah – I don’t know how I would have gotten through that season without it. Thanks for stopping by and for your wonderful encouragement. big hugs xox

      • Your attitude and your ministry are a source of encouragement in my life, too. Thank you for being a beacon… not hiding your light under a bushel, as it were!

  19. As Zach Williams sings, “Fear, he is a LIAR.” Praise God that you saw through the devil’s lie and trusted our magnificent Savior who can heal ANY illness. You are a living testimony to the power of Christ. Bless you for being so transparent with your faith.

  20. Fear – where to begin! It can be so dominating. But faith in Jesus gives us strength. And His strength is so much more powerful than our fear. And fear is nothing more than Satan having his way with us. Thank you so much for sharing!

    • Thank you for this wonderful encouragement. Amen to that! Jesus can overcome fear with one hand behind His back and His eyes closed! 🙂 hugs to you xox

  21. Yes, you have a handle on this. Not only your self-perception, but the whole Fear Factor. Faith is the key to overcome anything that becomes a detriment to your being. If by chance one would turn the Adam story around and have Adam believe that God was within him, the passage would have a different outcome. We, today, have the advantage of history to move forward. I did enjoy viewing and listening to your VID, If one has Faith in God, know that Jesus is there as well. With Love,

  22. Fear can be quite the motivator and most of time it takes us to a place that we usually don’t care to go or be. Overcoming fear is very important when it comes to living in the version of our best selves, what a testimony my lovely friend!!

    • Thanks so much! You’re so right about that – so important to living out best! Hugs and love xox

  23. Fear is necessary to survive in life however people have a choice as to how they approach. I know the first time I had to be taught how to walk again (which was the first of 3 other times) I was so fearful but over time things got better. The ironic thing is that many of our fears are unfounded.

    • Thanks so much – that’s such an interesting perspective. And wow – thank you for sharing your story. I can’t imagine that journey 🤗 kudos to you!! Hugs and love xox

    • Thank you Diana!!! I appreciate you taking the time to read it! Have a beautiful weekend! Hugs and love xox

  24. I have had fear in my own recovery with my body dysmorphic disorder. People would say to me, “You don’t look fat.” or “Oh, you look awful.” or “Look at how fat/skinny I am.” Those words were, and sometimes still is hurtful. I hope to shed light on my own journey on my blog one day.

    • Thank you so much Amanda for sharing your heart. The journey of recovery is long and with lots of twists and turns. One blog, one day at a time 🙂 you got this babe 🤗 Hugs and love xox

  25. Great post. Fear is indeed a very big thing to overcome. I battled with fear for a lifetime and faced my fears by doing the things that I was afraid of. But my freedom from fear is found by daily praying a hedge of protection around myself, my loved ones, all my possessions, everything that pertains to me. Then thanking God that the angel of the Lord encamps around me and protects me and all that is mine. When worry comes I resist it and say, “Since the angel of the Lord is protecting me then there is no use for both of us to be awake.” And I go to sleep. It has been proven by many years now that nothing bad ever happens to me. (as far as theft or violence goes). I liked to read of your battle with fear and your victory. It is inspiring. Bless you.

    • Thank you so much for sharing your story. Amen – He protects us and has us in the palm of His hand! Hugs and love xox

  26. I have sooooo many questions I’m not sure where to start. My girlfriend isn’t Anorexic but then again she may be? I NEED TO LEARN MORE! she’s so tiny but does eat just not much. If you could find the time I’d like to talk with someone I trust! My Email is posted on my blog. Thank you for being here and helping so many that have found themselves on this path.

    • Hi Tony, thank you so much for such kind words. Amen – we all have the capability to change! so glad you stopped by! big hugs xox

  27. It takes so much courage to acknowledge and admit that we are afraid, and it’s not necessarily because we are defective, but because life IS scary! Like you, God is what sustains and lifts me, so it’s always so refreshing to see others publicly proclaiming both their fear and faith.

    • Thank you so much Averyl. You’re right about that! God is our sustainer!! Hugs and love xox

    • It really makes a huge difference! And yes! Something just the act of taking a deep breath can bring about a world of peace. Thanks so much for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

    • Thanks so much Dylan! I look forward to checking him out! Thanks for passing along 🙂 Hugs and love xox

    • Wow what a profound thought Mick! Thank you so much for sharing that. Hugs and love xox

  28. You’re son strong for coming through that. When I was in the hospital, I was afraid of being healthy. I had so much self hatred that I was addicted to my fear and self abuse. It was so much apart of my identity that living without it was hard to imagine. It’s hard to see when things changed. It was gradual yet subtle. It felt like it was almost over night but really it took months and months of practice that helped turn that light switch on in my brain. I don’t know if it was similar to your story but reading this made me happy.

    • Hi Amy thank you so much for your kind words. And thank you for sharing your story. You’re so right – that light switch flips. So glad it did for you too! Hugs and love xox

  29. You have inspired me to write my story. It won’t be wonderful. It will probably be boring. I am writing it though.
    I love your writing and bravery. Thankful God helped you through <3

    • Hi Jackie! Oh gosh I am so happy for you! Keep writing! Your story matters and is important!! Hugs and love xox

  30. Fear has plagued me all of my life, and because of trauma I have experienced I still carry it with me inside even in my most secure days. Yet the fear of God greatly strengthens me. It is hard to explain that to a lot of people because they are convinced I mean being plagued by this tyrant who must be obeyed or else. That is FAR from what the fear of God means. When God tells us it is the beginning of wisdom and knowledge, He is loving telling that secret key to life, love, and joy! And peace… *gasp* peace that no one else can give.
    I know my Jesus understands what fear does to us. He experience it in the garden, and had to pray 3 different times. The angels ministered to HIm, and they are more than ready to minister to us! Praying for you, Caralyn!

    • Thank you for sharing that part of your heart, Gail. I’m so sorry that you carry that trauma with you. I am so inspired by your courage with God. Because you’re so right — He gives peace that only He can give. Thank you for your prayers! Know that you’re in mine too!! Hugs and love xox

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