I came upon a post on Instagram the other day that exposed a concerning trend in the faith community. Among women. About women.
In the past month, there have been a number of Catholic women bloggers who have taken to their soap boxes to proclaim that the only holy or right place for a woman is in the home, rearing numerous children, homeschooling them, and only wearing dresses. Basically, shaming any woman working outside the home, or even being so “masculine” as to wear pants – literally.
And, if you’re shaking your head right now in disbelief, know I am right there with ya.
This was brought to my attention by one of my inspirations, Leah Darrow, who highlighted just how harmful and incorrect this way of thinking is, and how it is building walls between women and pitting them against each other.
After reading something this jarring and outrageous, it’s safe to say that it stuck with me for the next several days.
Because it has taken something good and beautiful — motherhood — and weaponized it.
Yes – is motherhood, and childrearing and creating a home a beautiful, noble profession that one day I pray God allows me to do? Absolutely.
But in no way does that equate to putting to shame women who work outside them home. God has equipped men and women with unique and valuable gifts and talents — necessary for the building of the Kingdom. Both sexes have important and vital roles both in the home and in the Kingdom, and how we respond to God’s call for our lives looks different for everyone!
That is the beauty of this life!
Yes, some are called to be wives and mothers. And I know beautiful, incredible women who have responded joyfully to that role God has called them to! But there are others called to be doctors. Teachers. Religious women. CEO’s. Missionaries. Nurses. Scientists.
God created each of us with a unique makeup with skills and talents and passions that are specific to oneself. And our beautifully feminine expression of those gifts and talents are what make us powerfully female.
Because yes, men and women have different attributes that reflect the masculine and feminine attributes of The Maker. That’s not a bad thing! That’s what makes us be complimentary to one another. It’s a symbiotic relationship. A partnership that pairs masterfully. Our feminine genius allows us to do things as only a woman can.
But you’ve heard this from me before.
What I want to focus on is another deeply concerning aspect of this trend of shame from woman to woman.
This chasm that is being created, dividing Christian against Christian, pitting peers against one another. Frankly it’s disgusting.
And sadly, it’s not just in the pants/dress – homemaker/working woman arena.
It’s in church leadership. It’s between Christian denominations. It’s in small groups and bible studies.
There is this trend of divide that somehow seeps into Christian fellowship — be it competitive holiness, shaming certain “others,” feelings of pride or superiority, or being the most “authentic” in worship styles.
It is so easy to fall into that trap of division.
And reading this exposé on Catholic mommy bloggers — it was just so evident to me where all this was coming from: Satan.
The evil one, seeking to divide and isolate, so as to create resentment, hostility, and feelings of shame and unworthiness.
There is nothing more negatively powerful than believing that you are unworthy or feeling overwhelmed by shame. Take it from someone who has been there. In fact, those feelings of shame and unworthiness are what led me down that dark path of anorexia, straight into Satan’s trap that he had waiting for me at that pit of despair.
It is no coincidence, that in this era where this world so desperately needs spiritual leaders that the division between the “Big C” Church family has never been more hostile than ever.
The Church doesn’t trust the Pope. Much of the Church — and the world at large — think the clergy are a bunch of sex offenders, closeted gay men, or pedophiles. Protestants and Catholics are still focused on our differences than similarities. And now, Catholic mommy bloggers are shaming women that wear pants!
This is the work of the evil one! He wants us to forget that we’re all on the same team!
We’re all on the journey towards Heaven, and we all should be doing everything we possibly can to build one another up, and encourage and support one another in our pursuit of holiness.
That is what we’re called to do. One of my favorite gospels is from Mark Chapter 2, where Jesus heals the paralytic man in Capernaum. Most people see this story as a reflection on healing and miracles, but I personally think it’s about the power of friendship.
You see, that paralytic man couldn’t get to Jesus. So four of his friends carried him on a mat to the house where Jesus was, and when they couldn’t get into the door, the friends lowered the man through the freakin’ roof.
Can you imagine!? I mean, talk about some dedicated friends!
That is the type of support we’re supposed to have for one another. We are to do whatever it takes to help get our loved ones close to Jesus.
That is what it means to be a Christian friend. Not creating division, and promoting a culture of shame and isolation.
No ma’am.
And that’s coming from a working woman in pants.
“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
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It’s ideology over substance, such assumption leave objectivity out of the question, a chosen path is not is not referendum, still the narrow minded who will condemn them.
Conversation over confrontation, actions before indoctrination, free will
should never render to the presently pushed agenda.
(I saw your holiday video you and the ladies looked like y’all was having a good time, I liked the place were you stayed, you were just glowing you need to do that more for sure)
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Hi Sandymancan! I think you’re right about that – openminded community is of utmost importance. Aterall, we’re all on the same team….God’s!! 🙂 hugs xo
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Great article with plenty of insight and wisdom. You nailed it – and you usually do. Thanks
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Thank you so much John! i appreciate you stopping by! 🙂 big hugs xox
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Let me say in my humble opinion dear Lady; that there is no doubt about it Satan is working overtime and nothing or no one is so sacred that its hands off now. Let’s not forget he even tempted Jesus in the desert, so we are child’s play to him. This division is all over the planet now and the same old strategy of divide and conquer is being applied in earnest as you have illustrated. I see it daily throughout, in my community and even families; moreover for many years the attacks have even been more personal for me, and now his horns are out in front of me again as I battle powerful corrupt entities that have done and are doing severe damage along with causing more of this division in spades! Ultimately we children of God by our own devices fail miserably and of course Satan knows this; so there is always an in for him to toy with or tempt us, and as you said seek to divide or separate; though not only each of us from one another but in our very thoughts and beliefs! I’ll admit it even looks like an insurmountable problem at this point the way this world is going, and that in and of itself means the only answer is or can be, Jesus Christ, there never was or will there be any better more absolute answer to all of our troubles, pains and suffering! Amen.
Lawrence
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Thank you Lawrence for sharing your thoughts on this. You’re right – the evil one even tempted Jesus! And he did it by getting Jesus alone in the desert — divided, away from His community. That’s the evil one’s biggest tool. We need to support one another now more than ever.hugs xo
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Community can be fellowship and it can also be the blind leading the blind. We all know firsthand by now how badly that can work out by just what our eyes and ears see and hear with the Dem party in our Great Nation under God. Evil and especially the Evil One make no allowances for man-made convention or behavioral patterns. The devil is always tricky taking any opportunity to not only divide but to fascinate, mesmerize and delude with a craftiness that would make Einstein’s head spin! Moses actually went up on Mount Sinai several times to meet God as recorded in Exodus 19 through the end of the book. He spent all of this time alone but was with the Spirit of God as a chosen one. We know how the Israelite’s strayed while in their community, especially when Moses’ was away from them. But throughout history we can observe that this same kind of thing has happened even after the Old Testament was overshadowed by the Coming of our Lord Jesus Christ Himself. I’ve spent countless hours and month’s at times alone sometimes out of circumstance or necessity and other times by choice. Some of my greatest insights and shaping of my inner being or character have occurred when alone. I do have to include that not all are to follow the same path, as we are all here to serve and love God and only He knows what is best for each one of us so he is all we must abide in and trust in with all of our hearts, as He will judge each of us by our hearts! Only He can lead us unto paths of righteousness and is the greatest teacher, leader, friend, protector and indeed Father! After all there is nothing more omnipotent than what Jesus said that I pointed out here in this Blog, “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit,” when He was nailed on that cross taking His last breaths in this dying world! What we must recognize is that our lives are short and bitter or sweet according to mere human convention but they are complete only as they are in “standing” with our Heavenly Father who is the Almighty and knows all things! So being alone or following a specific path that the Lord lays out before us and leads us through until He is finished with each of us here on this earth is all that matters, NOTHING else means anything unless we are walking with Him and doing His will. Too many distractions can lead any of us away from that core and most important mission while we live our lives that will end up being either fulfilled with earthly conventions or filled with Him. If I or any of us walk with Him in that way there is NOTHING that can stop or interfere with His will for any one of us. I know what you say is true perhaps with some and not with others because that is not the question of being alone or separated, separated can mean different things and different people will not be in their appropriate place if doing so. The evil one didn’t get Jesus to do anything, He was looking for opportunity to tempt or interfere with Jesus and His mission or the will of His heavenly Father in the desert and when He carried His own cross among His people. Jesus was insulated from the evil one and any interference He might unleash because Jesus was walking with the Holy Spirit of His heavenly Father at all times, something we can’t do that well or we would all be saints and there wouldn’t be a single squabble among us. We see today so many who do what Scripture clearly says is wrong, verse 10 of Ephesians 2, as well as verses 8 and 9, for proper perspective: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast.
Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice…”
“But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty. For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good, treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people.” 2 Timothy 3:1-5
“For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God,” Ephesians 2:8
“Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. “Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. “And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. …” Matthew 6:1-34
“Come now, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil.” James 4:13-16
“Shall the axe boast over him who hews with it, or the saw magnify itself against him who wields it? As if a rod should wield him who lifts it, or as if a staff should lift him who is not wood!” Isaiah 10:15
“But he said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. “ 2 Corinthians 12:9
“But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root of the olive tree, do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you. Then you will say, “Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.” That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud, but fear. For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you.”
Romans 11:17-21
“For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned.” Romans 12:3
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” “Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
“Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Philippians 2:3
“My soul makes its boast in the Lord; let the humble hear and be glad.” Psalm 34:2
“But let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord.” Jeremiah 9:24
I feel inspired to go on dear Lady, but now other duties call, though I will conclude for now that I like you and know we all follow the appropriate paths if we are standing with Him knowing by the Holy Spirit which will guide us each on our paths to know, serve and love Him our heavenly Father with all of our hearts allowing Him to do His will though each of our lives here in this temporary earthly world of missions for those that are His!
Let’s consider all of these things and again meet to confer with one another in Him, through our truly abiding hearts and souls. Amen.
Brother in Christ,
Lawrence
PS BIG LOVING HUGS to YOU!
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I totally agree that women should not be shamed for working, or formula feeding or sending their kids to public school. However, from another perspective, I do think that society as a whole has failed to acknowledge the high calling it is to be a mother and families are suffering for it. On the other side here, I have been highly shamed by others for choosing to homeschool and stay at home with my children. In fact, there’s a survey out in Canada right now that I feel highly disrespects women who don’t work. I wrote my experience out here: https://everysmallvoice.wordpress.com/2019/08/31/that-poor-survey-woman/
I think in the end, we just need to value family, and show so much grace to those who make choices differently than us. We are, after all, all trying our best because we love our kiddos! Shaming on all sides needs to end.
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Hi Heather, thank you so much for sharing your heart on this! I am right there with you! I think being a mother is the highest calling, and such a beautiful gift. I hope and pray to be a mother one day, and if I should be so blessed, I pray I am in a situation where I can be a stay at home mom and homemaker. 🙂 I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve been shamed for the beautiful way you’re building your home. That makes me so sad. I will absolutely check out your article. You’re spot on – we need to build one another up!!! Big hugs to you xoxoxo
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💗
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I’m not catholic & grew up Protestant. What you are describing is taking a step backwards for women’s rights period! If you take out the religious elements for a moment, you are still looking at a backward ideology. I wear pants, am a mom, grandmother & spent 12 years in the USMC. This really saddens me that any woman would think this way. Sounds like a cult of brainwash. From the devil. Thanks for the eye opener!
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Thank you so much Lisa for sharing your thoughts on this! Wow — what an awesome life you’ve lived thus far!! Girl power for sure!! And you’re right – the shaming needs to come to an end on all sides! big hugs xox
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I had no idea that Catholics were shaming women for wearing pants and working outside the home. I have heard of fundamental protestant groups doing it. Why on earth cannot we women just be ourselves? Why do we always end up being the laser target for shaming? Jesus never shamed women for being themselves. He was all about love, acceptance and forgiveness. Where do people come up with half their ideas? Certainly not from scripture! I stopped attending church (protestant) because I felt so very judged for being a single mom (divorced). I have one child as opposed to at least two, so people felt at liberty to question my fertility decision as if it were any of their business never stopping to consider that maybe just maybe my life was none of their business. I tired of being shamed for not fitting into their judgmental notion of who I am supposed to be as a woman. God made me just as I am and I am not ashamed of who I am. The protestant organization Focus on the Family further shames women who do not fit into some unrealistic idea of what women are supposed to be like. Thank you for this information. It has taken me years to fully come to terms with the bullying that church members did to me with their shaming of me. Sadly, I cannot envision myself ever stepping foot in a church. I love God, but the church, well, it has a long, long way to go.
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Hi Jenny, thank you so much for sharing your heart on this, and for sharing your story. I’m so sorry to hear that you’ve personally experienced the bullying. That breaks my heart. we should be supporting one another –we’re on the same team!! And you’re spot on – Jesus was all about love — we should be too!! Sending you so so much love my dear friend. You are a light 🙂 remember that! hugs xo
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Thank you so much.
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🥰🥰🥰
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Hi Caralyn, I just realised that there was typo when I wrote your name. So sorry about that. It was a genuine error.
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Oh gosh no worries! I pretty much answer to anything! Haha
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You are a sweetie 😘
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🥰🥰🥰🥰
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Romans 10:9-13; God bless you!
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Yes! Thanks Mauricio! Hugs and love xox
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You must have gone to public school, concerning your bad historic sense of religion in a Land. You might want to read about Thirty Year War that took in much more than Germany? Then the Peace of Westphalia? The Civil War in Spain with 8000 priests executed and two THOUSAND churches burnt. Before that The French Revolution, with what happened to your church then. Did you know what Jefferson and John Adams felt about Catholics? And you think shaming is a crime?
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What I get out of this is this — none of us have the God-given right to pass judgement on each other. We’re here to learn how to love and be loved. To lift each other up in the light of our precious Savior. How can a person be glorifying God if they are tearing down one of His children?
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You’re so right – to learn how to love and be love. I love that so much! TRUTH! Hugs and love xox
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Thank you for this article. I agree that the enemy has caused division in places where there should be unity. This article was raw and real. It was also an encouragement to me. I remember I was once told that by a pastor that I am too busy with my career to invite motherhood and marriage into my life. God has gifted each us individually and we need to believe him and his timing. I am just like you trusting God for marriage and motherhood in his timing. Jesus walked in love with no strings attached. I want to encourage you by letting you know that your voice and testimony are essential to the Kingdom of God. Your story was written by God for him to glorify himself and also encourage others. We each have a responsibility to correct our brothers and sisters in love just as Jesus did knowing that we are making the Body of Christ stronger. Your obedience to God will always be larger and more powerful than the voices of so-called critics. Keep up the good work and I am so proud of you. I am honored to be your sister in Christ.
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Thanks so much Ada for sharing your heart on this. I’m glad it encouraged you!! You’re so right – His timing and His plan is perfect 🙂 our plan will unfold in due time!! 🙂 Hugs and love xox
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Amen! Yes, very true! It’s a trap from the devil himself and if we don’t WAKE UP from our slumber as the Bride of Christ we’ll be lulled by his lies disguising themselves to be “The Truth” when it’s not and will continue to pull us further away from the TRUE TRUTH CHRIST JESUS and from each other into the lake of fire where that is his final destination! I’m glad you addressed this! Continue to be bold for Christ! Blessings & grace!
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Thank you! You’re on a reading toll! 🙂 You’re right about that — He is the TRUE TRUTH!!! Thanks for the support! love ya friend! have a great night! bighugs xox
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Most welcome! 🙂 yes that’s right! The ONE & ONLY there always was and ever will be! The Holy Lamb of God. ❤ lol bless God, no problem! You too, much love!
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xoxo amen!!
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❤
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This is interesting. My son just started at a Catholic school this morning and one of the reasons we chose this school was because we felt so embraced when we visited. The school’s motto is along the lines of ‘try your best and be kind’ and that’s really all we can ask for. This post saddens me; we have so much to battle as people that we shouldn’t be spending our time tearing each other down (over clothing no less).
Thank you for sharing!
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Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I’m glad you’re being so embraced at your school!! That’s awesome!! I agree — let’s build one another up! Hugs and love xox
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Yes, as Christians we need to celebrate the different gifts that different Christians bring. By honoring both women and men (and any other demographic difference) and recognizing the gifts that each denomination brings, the body of Christ becomes stronger and more able to carry out God’s purposes in the world.
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Thank you so much Rhonda — you’re right about that – the body of Christ becomes stronger because of our unique abilities and gifts! Glad you stopped by! big hugs xox
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WOMEN WHO MADE THE 20TH CENTURY POSSIBLE💜
REVOLUTIONIZED Computer software – Rear Admiral Grace Hopper. Ushered in Computer science as we benefit from it right now. “We are “Instagram” capable because she paved the way in the 1950’s. Giants were birth out because of her gifts to the world. She birth out more children in the spirit then she could have ever done in the natural.
…Caller ID and call waiting – Theoretical Physicist, Dr Shirley Ann Jackson. (No solar cells, fax machines, fiber optic cables without her)
…Windscreen wiper – Mary Anderson. ( I will praise GOD for her all by myself if need be. Her invention Personally has saved my life, too many times to count).
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that’s awesome! thanks for sharing! hugs x
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GOD gave them insight in areas where there was no sight. They were created to be AN ANSWER IN THE EARTH.
We need more Answers in the earth.
Thank GOD for the anointing that covered their lives. I thank You LORD for the Spiritual Garments they wore and I Thank You for the women, yet to be known, stepping forward in their spiritual garments to become an Answer.
GOD SEND US ANSWERS💜
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Yes! The women yet to be known!!
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I wish I could list the thousands whose lives are a reply to their need for answers.
(Forgive me for the space I took up in my reply).
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no worries, thank you for taking the time to respond, I appreciate your passion! 🙂 hugs xo
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Preach it sister!
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thank you so much Dan!! 🙂 hugs xo
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This is timely and important. In our day, when secularization is advancing and Christians are being maligned by outsiders, one of the worse things we can do is hurt one another on the inside. Thanks for calling us to unity.
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Thank you so much Shayne! I’m so glad this resonated with you!! I agree – unity! Hugs and love xox
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Like so many others the problem with these so called “religious” experts is that many have never read,(I mean to any degree of indepth theological study) the Word of God they profess to be experts on. God left us commands for all things, unfortunately man wants Burger King Theology (god, yes I used an intentional small “g”) their way.
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Burger King Theology – interesting perspective. Thanks for sharing. Hugs and love xox
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I’ve dealt with this from a slightly different perspective. As a stay at home homeschooling Dad, I’ve received comments for years – primarily from men and sometimes from the pulpit – to the effect that it’s a man’s job to make money. Thus implying that I’m wrong for dedicating my days to raising and educating my children. One went so far as to ask me every week if I had “found a job yet”.
I’m not Catholic, but I think these tendencies exist in many religious traditions, the tendency to judge others harshly and without scriptural justification, merely because of their own overly strict opinion of how a family should be structured. It doesn’t help anyone, and hurts everyone involved.
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