Beware the Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

You know you’re in trouble when you wake up to this text from your father: “We need to talk about your choices.”

Yeeeeah. That was a fun way to start the day.

I’m only half kidding. I mean, I respect my father more than anything in the entire world, and his guidance and wisdom are invaluable to me.

But yeah, that text scared the crap out of me.

Truthfully though, it was not at all what I expected.

“You’re too trusting of people.”

During that phone call, my father lifted the veil of innocent, idealistic expectations from my eyes. In fact, I believe the term, “Polly Pure Heart” was used.

But he gently reminded me that not everyone is like me, or the people in our family. That I need to let people show me who they are, rather than just assume that they are trustworthy, always-follow-through-on-their-word, honest, upstanding individuals without a hidden agenda.

Especially guys.

And I mean, he’s absolutely right.

Call it my tragic flaw, but I like to believe the best in people. Especially when it comes to guys, I have this sort of “I’m rooting for you” mentality right from the get-go. I want to believe that they have the type of standards that I was raised with.

And yeah, turns out that’s not always the case.

This conversation with my dad was not out of the blue. In fact, it was spurred on by a pretty crappy incident that happened this weekend. Which…I have since learned from.

Long story short, Saturday night, I made the poor decision to stay out at a club alone – after my friends had left – with a guy friend I thought was someone I could trust. Turns out, I was mistaken.

Beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing, that’s all I’ll say.

I mean, look – it’s not as bad as what some of you are probably thinking. I was just put in an uncomfortable situation. All was ultimately fine.

But, none the less, I learned my lesson. Big time.

But my father was absolutely right. I’m way too quick to believe that everyone is a noble, trustworthy person with pure intentions.

“Be more aloof. Make them show you their true colors.”

It was not fun hearing these things, because they go against the very core of my nature.

Obviously that conversation stayed with me for the rest of the day. And sitting in Mass that night, it finally clicked.

Through my recovery from anorexia, one of the biggest healing mental shifts for me, has been to banish the perfectionist standards I held for myself for so long. In order to heal, I had to let go of those unrealistic expectations I put on myself, which ultimately led to my demise.

So, just as I have relinquished myself from those unhealthy standards, I need to also do the same for others.

I can’t expect people to be perfect. And taken the way my father meant it — I need to assume that people are not. Because by placing trust in this idealistic view of someone will not only lead to ultimate disappointment, but could also put me in potentially dangerous situations, like Saturday night.

Psalm 146: “Put not your trust in princes.”

I want to just close by saying that, there’s a difference between being too trusting and trust.

Another great pearl of wisdom — from my mother — regards the latter. It was a couple years ago when I really started taking dating seriously, she reminded me that: “At the end of the day, you either trust them, or you don’t.” And that is one hundred percent true. Relationships are built on trust — it is a necessary foundation. Period. And being able to put your trust in that person you’re committed to is how it should be: a no-question.

But trusting someone right off the bat — that’s a horse of a different color.

It’s not being “judgmental” or “harsh” or “mean” to withhold giving someone my trust until they prove they’re worthy. In fact, it is prudent to wait for someone to show me who they really are, instead of just assuming the best.

So dad, thanks for the tough love. I am very blessed to have a father that loves me and cares for me enough to tell me the truth in love when I need to hear it.

And if you need me, I’ll be practicing how to “look aloof.”

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

235 thoughts on “Beware the Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing”

  1. This situation works both ways, I’ve been on the receiving end. I’m glad you are OK Caralyn! Folks need to show me they are trustworthy or I don’t bite. 😎

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    1. thanks John — yeah that’s very wise, both ways! that definitely makes me think 🙂 thanks for your kind words. Yeah – note to self — never stray from the pack 🙂 buddy system!! 🙂 glad you stopped by! hugs xox

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    1. wise as serpents and gentle as doves — oh WOW I’ve never heard that before but i love it! thanks for sharing!! big hugs to you xox

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  3. When I read “We need to talk about your life’s choices”, I felt that DEEP in spirit, girl. That sounds just like my dad. I’ve learned since moving from California to South Florida to have my guard up when dealing with people (both men and women alike). I deal with a very different set of people and my discernment level needs to be on HIGH ALERT! I agree! It’s not about being judgmental, mean or harsh, it’s about being SMART. Awesome Job, Dad for loving telling you what’s what. My dad told me the same thing. It’s a jungle out there (especially in the dating department) and you need to be wise and prayed up!

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    1. DEEEEPP!! Oh yes, my dad is a wise man and respect is nonnegotiable for him. That’s such great advice: High alert. Love it. Thank you for your kind words! Yes! Sounds like we’re both very blessed to have incredible men for fathers! Hugs and love xox

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  5. I think it’s okay to give the person the benefit of the doubt when you first meet them. In the dating world, it’s less black and white, which makes things trickier to navigate. I’ve never been to a club before but have ended up in some uncomfortable situations. 😐

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    1. That’s a really great point Hilary. The benefit of the doubt is good – like I would want someone to do with me 🙂 true true. Thanks so much for stopping by!! Hugs and love xox

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      1. That’s why I think you weren’t “wrong” for being too trusting of the guy. 😇 It’s a good trait to have, along with trusting yourself, like your dad suggested. You’re incredibly lucky to have parents who really care about your well-being God bless! 🙏🏻💕

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      2. very true! and you’re so right about that, God has been generous, and for that I am very grateful 🙂 hope your week is off to a great start! hugs xox

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  6. What an amazing post and reflection on an important conversation with your father! And a fitting topic for the second week of Advent. I am sorry about the situation you got caught in, but knowing that in the end you are okay and more importantly that you learned from the situation is a God send.

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    1. thank you so much EJ! You’re right about that – the timing is spot on! Yes – big time lessons for sure. Very grateful for my dad 🙂 i appreciate you stopping by! big hugs xox

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    1. Thank you so much Ryan! Yeah, my dad is an excellent advice giver. I respect him so much. Crazy indeed! glad you stopped by! big hugs xox

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  8. Wow, Glad @ the end of the night you stayed safe. Glad too that you have a relationship with your dad that can talk about stuff like this.

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    1. thank you DM, yeah me too, I am very blessed to have such a great dad 🙂 I’m glad you stopped by! big hugs to you xox

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  9. I am on your dad’s side, I have two daughter’s about your age, and quiet honestly, you are very dear to me. However, I am also very trusting, and look for the best of others; not always a good decision. I am so happy that you are fine, praise Jesus!

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    1. Oh my gosh, that means so much, thank you Lisa. And yes! that’s so true, we’ve got to fight that natural instinct and be a little more discerning. 🙂 So glad you stopped by! thank your kind words! big hugs xox

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    1. thanks so much Jazmin!! i’m so glad this resonated with you tonight 🙂 hope you’re having a great monday! hugs xox

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  13. Getting married to a Filipino and living in her country this year, I learned a phrase they use, and I like it, “You have shown me your face.”

    You have shared with your readers, the desire of your heart to be married, perhaps that was your motivation to stay and see what develops with the guy you were with. Most of us, in those shoes, would have also, so don’t feel bad. Praying God will answer your prayer soon. In the mean time, continue to listen to the wise counsel of many, and your earthly father. He, as well as your faithful readers, only wants God’s best for you. Merry Christmas.

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    1. You have shown me your face — wow that is so powerful! thank you for sharing that, Mark! Thank you for your prayers. You’re right – listening is the best thing to do! big hugs to you xox

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  14. You’re father is a very wise man…protective because you are worth protecting. We must for prudence sake acknowledge the fallen nature of mankind. That’s not to say there are not those who are redeemed, become that new man but the “straight is narrow” for a reason …there’s more of them than us. Lol So, indeed, we must wait until their true nature is revealed.
    I’m so sorry you had this bad experience but I’m also so glad you have such wise and loving parents. XO

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    1. Thanks Laura! I would have to agree — a very wise man indeed. Thanks for this encouragement. You’re right – straight is narrow!! big hugs xox

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  15. Hi, glad you learned this lesson without too much disaster. Your Dad sounds like mine when I was your age. Listen to him, he knows. Fun post, good luck with all this. It’s too bad you have to change your trusting attitude, but you live in the world.

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    1. Thank you so much!! you’re so right – my dad is a gem:) I am so blessed to have him. amen — listening is the best!! thanks for stopping by! hugs xox

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  16. Absolutely. I too learned it the hard way. And my dad and Christian friend helped me to realize that. Like you I’m becoming more aware of my father’s wisdom. It’s about boundaries and trusting God.

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    1. Thank you so much Tiffany, for sharing your heart. Yeah, sometimes the lessons we learn the hard way are the ones that are most important and God wanted to make sure we got it!! thanks for stopping by! and for your encouragemetn! hugs xo

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  17. I’m a scorpio so I’m naturally suspicious of everyone and I trust no one that I don’t know. It might not be a good way to live but it’s worked out so far and I’m almost 40. I’m glad that you’re okay my friend. I’m glad your Dad had that talk with you and he’s right! People have to earn trust and not get it without proving it first! Great post ❤

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    1. Thanks for sharing that, Lane! Yeah — my dad is pretty spot on…like he always is! hahaha but for real 🙂 Earn trust — i love that so much! thanks for stopping by and for your kind words! big hugs xox

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    1. Thank you so much Alan! You’re right about that – he is spot on, per usu! 🙂 I’m very blessed to have him as a dad 🙂 big hugs xo

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  20. Wisdom is invaluable! Sounds like your Dad is trying to share his with you and you are right to be wise to listen! ❤️

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    1. It really is! Thanks Cindy – yeah, and he sure does have a lot of it!! Haha 🙂 thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  21. Please stay with your friends when your out. Daughters are so hard, ugh. Please be careful, promise? Most men arent dishonest, but struggle with attraction and how to broach it with people close to them. That’s no excuse for poor behavior, a good man will be honest, even if it brings him temporary embarrassment.

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    1. Thank you Karac, yeah that was the biggest take away from this whole debachle. I promise, thank you for your care and concern — seriously, that means a lot. You’re right about that!!! thanks for stopping by and for your kindness 🙂 hugs x

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  22. Sounds just like your Mom & Dad! They’re incredible people and parents. A Beautiful girl like you in the big city really can’t be too careful! I’m glad that this story has a happy ending.❤️

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    1. Hi Mary!!! Yes! I am so blessed to have them as parents. There’s a lot of wisdom in that relationship! 🙂 haha Thank you, yes a happy ending – I’m grateful for too! Thank you so much for stopping by! I hope you’re having a great night! See you over Christmas!! 🙂 hugs xo

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  23. Good post. Your father is a wise man. I learned the hard way with my past experiences. I am the opposite I believe, I have a very hard time trusting people. I usually don’t open up but then again I have a blog so it really is a lot when I share something personal. I feel like people usually hold a facade most of the time.

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    1. Thank you so much! You’re right – a wise man indeed. I am very blessed to have him as a dad. yeah, there’s a lot of truth there. We all often wear masks. Glad you stopped by! big hugs xo

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  24. What hit me about this, from someone with kids, is I’m not trusting enough to walk away from the grocery cart with my kids in it. Maybe at one time it wasn’t as bad as it is now. But people are crazy and you give them a little and they will push for more. Not saying everyone is bad, but you have to have a guard up. You gotta protect what’s important. Glad you’re ok lady! ❤️

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    1. you’re right about that — it’s a jungle out there! having a guard up is just what we’ve gotta do. Thanks for the encouraging pep talk! big hugs to you xox

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    1. Thanks Tonya, you’re so right — my dad is spot on. I’m really blessed to have that wise man in my life. And yes! We can place our total and complete trust in God!!!! Thanks for stopping by! big hugs to you xox

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    1. Thanks Brandon, I appreciate that. Yeah i definitely learned my lesson: STAY WITH THE PACK!!! Glad you stopped by! hope your week is off to a great start! hugs xo

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  29. Caralyn,
    Dad is right of course, and you have so much to learn or much to be concerned about with people in general. Trust must be earned and most people today have their agenda or shall I say the focus is on self to a fault. The good old days maybe never existed but I can actually say things have gotten a lot worse with regard to people being trustworthy or dependable over the decades as I see it. Heck you know you want to be concerned about even trusting yourself don’t you? Look at this major story you have derived from your own inner dysfunction that wreaked havoc upon you and still must be kept in check which I’m glad to say you can do with Jesus Christ front and center which you apparently know is the only way to achieve the success you seek in your life on all levels; but not in men, none, they are not Sir Lancelot or Knights in Shining Armor to come and rescue the Lady Guinevere or damsel in distress. Don’t take me wrong I know you want the package and the entire idyllic dream come true fairytale but that is a very tall order in today’s topsy-turvy world so tread ever so carefully in that regard and focus on simplicity to keep you on the right track; is my advice as a man. I don’t know you well enough to say if you’re a bit too naive or starry eyed about people, but reservation and caution are absolutely essential nowadays, I mean come on you know the kind of world we live in these days, so I’m sorry to say the good old days are gone but not forgotten; but nonetheless they are not tangible or in reach now as readily as they once were! Although, miracles can happen and with God all things are possible so hoping for the best through Faith in Him is the best path and regardless of what this life will have in store for you as you follow His will. The obvious goal should always be to be with our Father in heaven for eternity where we will be so totally complete and happiest, and missing out on things here doesn’t mean squat in the big picture when you come right down to it. Look at the people in the world, some born blind or not able to walk or dying every day way before there time it seems! You be cool and keep growing your faith Caralyn, God is with you and that matters more than all else. That should be the mission, wouldn’t you agree!
    Yours in Christ Jesus,
    Lawrence

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    1. Thanks Lawrence, yeah – my dad was spot on, per usu! I’m very blessed to have him in my life. I learned a definite lesson that night — STAY WITH THE PACK!! Focus on simplicity — i like that advice, thank you for that! Faith in Him really is the best path. glad you stopped by. hugs xo

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      1. You’re welcome Caralyn, just caught my eye big-time! Yea you, OK LOL, I mean this piece is spot-on and you’re darn tooting you are lucky to have him, he is the Man; he is always giving you the best advice to be had bar none; so isn’t that so lovely to have such a good one in your life already for all this free guidance and another rock of the family like your Mom! I’ll let you in on something, when you have a great Dad like you obviously do it will be so very next to impossible to have one that you find in this life that will fill his shoes or ever love you in that absolutely genuine way that your dear Dad does; but you may be blessed to have both someday, just saying; but even by chance you don’t isn’t it a blessing to know that man on earth here your Dad loves you so true! I know about this by my own Dad and I have to say I never did have a woman that I know equaled in love that which my Dad and Mom proved to me with absolute certainty, and they would never ditch me but far too many relationships go south and the what seemed like powerful love one day is no more and actually never was to begin with! I do know that sometimes great love must start small like a spark and grow over time perhaps comparing it to a fine wine with age and with the test of time it proves itself out and just comes naturally that way, not a forced issue that then becomes the issue! I have a hunch you know just what I’m talking about and you aren’t a wet behind the ears dreamer in this department. You’re a smart cookie, so that along with your Dad’s great wisdom and love for you, while you’re putting God front and center is the ticket to the big-show! Then the rest is up to God after all right!
        Yours in Christ Jesus,
        Lawrence
        PS Things are looking fine from where I sit, and looking good!

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    1. Thank you so much Angela!!! 🙂 Yeah – he was pretty spot on in his advice! So glad you stopped by! hope you have a wonderful night! hugs xo

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    1. Thank you so much Scott, yeah me too. And yes! I am so blessed to have such a good dad 💛 he is my rock 🙂 aside, of course, for Jesus!! Glad you stopped by! Big hugs xox

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    1. Thank you Deb, you’re so right – i am very blessed to have such a great dad. He’s my hero 🙂 i appreciate you stopping by! hugs xo

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  34. I hate that you had to deal with this, but glad you are all right and gained some wisdom and have a dad who cares to guide you. I have some unfortunate experience in this area myself. But, on the flip side, the Lord in time brought me the one my heart could and can trust. They are out there. Be guarded but don’t forget to keep your heart available to the doors He will open. Hugs and prayers!

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    1. thank you so much for your support. you’re so right — guarded but with an available heart. thank you for stopping by! hugs xo

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  35. If your end goal is someone just like you or your culture well, isn’t there some dudes in your old neighborhood? That, would be the only way to being equal without judgement. Suburban life and especially college create this bubble of tidy and unrealistic expectations. I’m not saying it’s bad, people sometimes take longer to grow. It’s also neat a bunch of parents with the same values chose to live together and create communities. Different from the ghetto where we’re all stuck with each other. It’s just the after. Adulting. When, you are responsible for your life choices.

    I waited a year to kiss my ex wife. We’d write, real letters. So many, they filled books. After we married, I had to wait another year. Military. I don’t know. I definitely don’t feel like the normal American male and the pressures to collect partners like baseball cards. Some, might think it a waste to wait so long. I’ve waited a year when dating someone for a kiss more than I haven’t. Intimacy, has lost its favor for physical intimacy. We as a society agreed that well, go to a bar or other overpriced drinking area and meet someone. Then, there’s a grey area. He didn’t mean it. You wanted something different. Blah blah blah. It’s not how we find love but it’s how we find attention.

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    1. thank you for sharing your thoughts on this, and for sharing your story with your ex wife. lots of food for thought. big hugs! xox

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      1. I was talking to another business owner about this. I’m a millennial but an older one. I grew up with, old guys. There is a definite shift in perspective in other male millennials. This, immediacy of time invested. Relationships grow they are, organic. Hormones, are usually spoken of with females but men are very much affected by them. You win a game, you’re hyped. A pretty woman says hello and, you’re hyped. 😂 I read, adrenaline is such a sensitive chemical to the body. It’s like, putting a drop of water in a swimming pool. Well. I guess being old has its value. I suppose, it’s just important to know what you’re reaching for when uh, socializing.

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      3. I know. I kind of hijacked the subject of your post. 😂 Sorry. 🙃 I’ve been commenting for a few years. Everyone. Anywho, it’s good to discover the tiny bits of discord between the generations and how it affects us personally. In our beliefs. In our search for love. In the mundane of the everyday. I just, get pissed with my generations need for instant gratification especially in relationships. It feels, like a power grab not like, “Oh, you won the lottery? Sure. I’ll go on vacation with you.” 😂😳😊

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      5. There was a time. When all the University nurses converged on all the fancy and trendy places. My job, was a taxi guy and I stuffed two car loads of well coiffed and short skirted women into my cab. Just, back story. So. I hung out with the neurosurgery nurses because they were smart and crazy. A guy showed up. Everyone was going to bed and he did something very weird. A woman, I’ve known to be very wild and ahem. Carefree. Went to bed in this huge place and when it was quiet. He let himself into her room. She yelled. He left and that was that. Only, he was drunk. Well, everyone had a few before bed. I being older than everyone decided I should do something. Not like, call the cops. Just, make sure he doesn’t have another opportunity. I walked into her room. She began to yell. I said, gimme a pillow. I slept on the floor the rest of the night. It’s good, I have a few bad discs. I don’t know, if anything would have happened but I felt like she said no. She’s really pretty and kinda wild but, she did say no. I thought she was cool and deserved a little more respect. Maybe, she texted him. Either way, she wasn’t into it and if that’s all he wanted he was free to leave. 😂

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      6. Oh my gosh what a scary story. I’m glad you were there to do something about it! Thanks for sharing! Hugs and love xox

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  36. Caralyn, thank God for his watchful protection of you. I think we all have had times when we were not thinking and got into situations that could have ended very badly. It is so important to pay attention, to what God is saying to you. It might be a feeling in your gut or just a fleeting moment of a warning nudge. Thank God for your concerned Dad and God’s angels protecting you. Love and hugs!

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    1. yes! i’m very grateftul that everything turned out okay. i certainly learned my lesson. Yes! I havebeen very blessed to have such a great dad 🙂 thanks for your kind words. hugs oxox

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  37. This is a good lesson! I’m glad you had the chance for a learning experience WITHOUT things becoming truly unsafe. Goodness knows how common the latter is.

    Sort of along the same lines of considering carefully who we ought to trust… I hope this is not too off-topic, but I’ve recently become aware of an awful situation that comes back down to that same question. I advocate for abuse survivors of all kinds, including survivors of sex trafficking; one such situation that is ongoing now involves a mother learning how her husband of 15 years trafficked her children right under her nose. It has come down to the question of whom should she trust: her children, or her husband?

    When four young children share the same horrific tale and display undeniably severe symptoms of traumatic abuse, as verified by some of the top psychologists in the country… well. The cops might not believe them. The judge might not care. But their mother listens to them.

    Out of desperation, this woman has run away from home with her four children, living on the lam from the law–which is ordering to return her children to their very credibly accused abuser. They are homeless and penniless, living off the kindness of friends.

    Here is the story–including government authorities people can contact on their behalf, their case file numbers, and a link to the change.org petition on their behalf (please sign, if you feel led to help!): https://millstonesofjustice.wordpress.com/millstones-of-justice/

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    1. thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. wow that is just so tragic. breaks my heart. thanks for bringing our attention to this

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  38. My dear friend Caralyn,

    Your father is a wise man and really cares for you – when we blindly follow we often are disappointed and awake with a bitter aftertaste. He has seen you suffering so many times and his advice is: “Please, daughter take care that you do not fall into unhappiness.” He wants really the best for you. However, it also takes time before we can trust a person and sometimes even a life time is not enough to look into the heart of a person, to know a person. If a person is playing with pride and making a show in front of you – this you can easily feel and finally avoid. Sure, we all have our mistakes and should also avoid prejudices, as we do not know the motives and backgrounds of a person why he or she behaves like that. So first of all it is good not think bad of anyone, not to develope bad thoughts – then we are above of the reactions… In case we have expectations, then this is also not good, often and mostly they lead to disappointment and unhappiness. Do not panic, my friend to force a relationship to enter into your life as all is inthe hands of God. Isn’t it so: When we try to find our love, then this does not really work – but when love finds us – this is a different thing… Allow you to have more patience, my friend.

    All that is good for you
    Hugs and love
    Didi

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    1. thank you so much Didi for your support. You’re so right — it is all in the hands of God – that’s so important to remember because it is so TRUE! Patience is key. And amen – i am very grateful to have such a great dad 🙂 big hugs to you xoxo

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  39. Wolves always know who the lambs are…including the lamb of God. It’s not a weakness, being a lamb, or a dove! But we do have to be on the watch to be sure we’re not on the menu. With people, for sure the “proof is in the pudding”, and that takes time. They need to earn your trust, bedside you’re worth it and worthy. 👍💜

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    1. ooooooooh that is so good Nelson! yeah you’re absolutely right – they know who the lambs are. thanks for this encouragment! big hugs xox

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  40. My mum would always say, not everyone is like me that sometimes I have to remove my rose- colored glasses and actually see people as they are.
    It is a blessing to have parents who still look over our shoulders and this post resonates deep.
    blessings💕💕

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  41. I am sorry that happened to you and I am glad that you are okay. I can definitely relate. We want to see the best in people and it is sad when they have dark intentions. It is so sweet that your dad is looking out for you and that you can have those sometimes uncomfortable yet important conversations.
    I remind myself that when people show you their true colors, they do us a HUGE favor. I would rather know sooner than later. Love ya girl!

    ❤ Alana

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    1. thank you so much Alana, for your kind words. Yeah, i have such a sweet dad – i’m very blessed. Oh yes! a huge favor! love that! glad you stopped by! big hugs xo

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  43. I used to trust people too much too. Getting burned by them taught me what your parents are trying to shield you from. I find less and less people whom I can trust and that makes me sad, because I give people every reason to trust me. It just isn’t as reciprocal as I would like.
    Keep guarded but know God will reveal who you can trust. He will sprinkle those people in your life.

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    1. Thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. You’re right – God will reveal who I can trust. That’s so important to remember! Hugs and love xox

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  46. Some of us are born that way I guess, with a filter of TRUST, so even when there’s tell tail signs of unworthiness of trust, our filter remains. I have learnt over the years and am just getting around discerning intentions.

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    1. A filter of trust – I love that. You’re right. And I think I was definitely born like that. Discerning intentions – that’s such wise advice. Thanks for stopping by Joan! Hugs and love xox

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  47. Seriously, your dad is an angel. I was the same way until I started reading different dating advice books; The Rules, He’s just Not that into You (painful but eye opening)- Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man came out after I was married and I don’t like Steve’s take on when it is ‘ok’ to have sex but the other info is still good. The best dating info/advice I ever received (also applies to making non-dating friends) “When people tell you who they are… believe them.” If a person wanted to change they would have or they would be in the process of doing so. They would not moan and groan about their faults and play them up for sympathy. Doing so is a childish way of getting attention. “oh poor me. Who will fix me?”. Some guys do this to get a sweet girls to stick with them and ‘help them’. What they are really doing is killing time, wearing a girl down until they get what they want and it’s not your heart they are after. These kinds of men ARE predators. Any man who grooms a person (manipulates them) into getting what they want because they cannot be straight forward (man enough to confront in daylight who they are and what they are after) is a type of predator. These kinds of men have no reason, no motivation to change. Why change something that has worked so well for so long?
    What I’m saying applies to dating in general. Don’t waste your time on these boys who are taking and not giving. Stop dating and start courting. I dare say you might even want to try a professional match maker.
    Go dad!

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    1. He really is such an angel. I have been so blessed. Thanks Melissa for this encouragement and for the book recco! I’ll have to check it out!! When ppl tell you who they are believe them – YES!! so much wise insight here. THANK YOU. Hugs and love xox

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  50. Glad, discomfort aside, that you are okay. Also glad that your Dad leaned into your life. I taught our daughter, despite my being one of them, that “Men are scum.” I told her to always start with that assumption until they prove otherwise, and even then, be suspicious. One of the most terrifying things about being a parent is to have a daughter… and know what, and how, men think. Again, glad you’re okay.

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    1. Thanks so much. Yeah me too. And yes! My dad is such a gem. I am so grateful to have such a great man as a father. I am very blessed. Be suspicious – yes. That’s wise! Thanks for the encouragement! Hugs and love xox

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