I’m about to let you in on a little secret.
In Manhattan, apartment doormen are the “keepers of keys” when it comes to gossip and the hushed “happenings” of the buildings’ tenants.
They know who comes and goes. They know your daily patterns and schedules. They know your packages and food orders. Heck – they probably even know how you take your coffee.
They are, in a word: all-knowing.
And we love them for it.
And, not surprisingly, I have grown incredibly close with the wonderful men who work in my building. They know my ins and outs. They always know my whereabouts, and frankly they know more about my personal life that some of my closest friends. And not to mention they keep me safe, and I can trust them with literally, my life.
They’re almost like my older brothers.
Anywho, I was hanging out in the lobby tonight — as it’s a sweltering 89 degrees in my apartment, thanks to COVID restrictions, preventing my air conditioner from being installed.
And I had such a powerful conversation with my doorman.
We were hanging out outside, under the awning. Both “masked up,” and socially distanced. And we were discussing how upside-down the world has been turned since the beginning of the year.
And at one point in the conversation, he looked at me — just his eyeballs visible over his mask — and he said, “You’ve got to let life change you.”
Such a simple thought and yet incredibly profound.
He went on, as it’s his birthday coming up, and he was reminiscing how he’s not the same man he was ten years ago. Life happens. You go through things. And if you’re open to receiving the lessons thrown at you, you grow.
You’ve got to let life change you.
And how powerful to think that here we are – June 11, 2020 – with such a critical opportunity at hand to let life change us. To let all the hurt, all the fear, all the forced isolation and frustration, all the outrage, all the disappointment and duress — to let that change us.
But that’s exactly the thing – we have to let it.
That one-liner haunted me for the rest of the night , and as I was retiring to bed, it suddenly clicked.
This powerful idea of letting life change us, is made even more profound, when the focus shifts to what I believe is at the absolute heart of it:
We’ve got to LET God change us.
We’ve got to let Him.
We’ve got to be open to receiving direction, guidance, and change.
We’ve got to be open to doing and seeing things differently. Which – especially now in the current climate – is something that I think has the potential to change the world.
Because God isn’t going to force us to change. If we want to stick our heads in the sand, and refuse to grow or learn or be receptive to other possibilities, that is our prerogative. That is free will in a nutshell.
We’ve got to let Him change us.
I have seen first hand, just how life changing that surrender can be: when I relinquished my anorexia over to God, and let Him change my heart.
I let Him move in my heart, and give me the healing I so desperately needed.
I was talking with a special person this afternoon, and they asked me if I ever get triggered by “body comments” anymore — such as “fat, skinny, eat more,” etc. Because ask any person in recovery from anorexia – or any eating disorder – and the answer will more likely than not be a resounding yes.
But for me, that was something I had to hand over to God. That was something I had to “let God change” in me.
And He did.
I no longer find my worth in those body discriptors, because my body is merely a dwelling place for my soul. And that is where my worth comes from. Not from the outer vessel.
And if God could change my heart on that — there is nothing He can’t change.
It is my deepest prayer that during this season of intensity, we let life — let God — change us. Change our hearts. Change our minds. Change our understanding and perspective. Because only when we let Him, can the transformation and healing truly begin.
God bless you, friends. And God bless America.
“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
A big thank you to my foundational sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy. I cannot begin to express how beneficial therapy was for my recovery from anorexia. Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.
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