To the Meanie in the Comments Section

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Hello from Ohio!!

I snuck away for a couple days to visit my family! And I’m having so much fun with my little nephews! They are just as cute as two bugs in a rug!

I wanted to just say…last week, a commenter said something that I need to respond to:

“Your prior self inflicted illness has probably given you some sort of brain damage. Seriously. Go. Get. Help. And seek counseling. Your parents did you a disservice in your rearing, girl.”

I have since deleted it.

And typically I would just let a nasty comment slide. But if you bring my dear parents into it….

So I need to clarify:

a) This “self inflicted illness” made me who I am today. I am a strong woman. I have grown a depth in my soul that only comes from the recognition that I am nothing without God. And honestly, I wouldn’t trade those lessons I had to learn the hard way for anything because I am the woman standing in front of you because of that season of fire.

And b) Yes. I did get help. I went to an inpatient treatment facility for three months, where I witnessed things and heard stories that broke my heart: stories of abuse, witnessed drug detox, girls who had been enslaved to anorexia for 40+ years. I got help and am by the grace of God am healed. And now, I’ve dedicated my life to helping others walking similar paths.

So if you ask me, I think my parents did one hell of a job in rearing me. They have fiercely loved me through the darkest of days, and never gave up on me. Thank you for your feedback, but I’ll take their incredible support, love and guidance any day of the week.

Thank you to those who stuck up for me in the comments. I am grateful for such wonderful people in my corner.

And just for the record, over coming an eating disorder does not make you any less of a person. You are not broken. You are a warrior and never let anyone tell you otherwise.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going out to dinner with my biggest supporters and role models in my life: my parents.

See you Wednesday for a delicious recipe!

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

145 thoughts on “To the Meanie in the Comments Section”

    1. Oh my gosh Mauriel! that is SO EXCITING!!!! i will absolutely be keeping you close in prayer! this is such a beautiful journey, blessings! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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    2. That is simply beautiful, Mauriel! I have added you to my prayer list! May your joy continue to grow & strengthen as you immerse yourself more & more in our One Holy Apostolic Faith!! Huge hugs and many blessings to you!! 💕

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    1. Thank you so much! Amen to that – our past is but a blip on the radar, and shape us into the people God made us to be! glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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    1. thank you so much. If it was just about me, I wouldn’t respond, but if you say something mean about my mother and father, i have to defend them. thanks for having my back! Hugs and love xox

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  4. Yes girl! Blows my mind how anyone could even think, write, or say something of that nature to you. You are an INCREDIBLE woman; clearly have INCREDIBLE parents. The fact is, we can have the best parenting and still take paths that are self destructive; but you are right in that your recovery speaks volumes of your parents. Thank you for being willing to write and put yourself out there like you do, at the risk of mean, negative, comments. It really takes courage. And you do it beautifully with so much grace. 😘

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    1. thank you so much! oh my gosh you are kind to say that. My parents really are the salt of the earth! And if it was just something about me, i would let it go, but if something negative (and false) is said about my parents, i have to defend them! you’re right about that – they have been by my side loving me and encouraging me every step of the way. they are amazing. thank you for such generous words. Hugs and love xox

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  7. I’m sorry you had to dedicate a blog post to that person and give energy to it. I read you blog regularly, and although I don’t always agree with some of your posts, that’s on me. We are both adults with differences of opinion. Amen! My parents raised me to know that we all have our own beliefs, and if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it. That is respecting another. This person clearly subscribed to the school of thought that a dissenting opinion is wrong. That is an unfortunate way to think. Keep writing what you feel and believe to be right, that is what makes you authentic. 🙏🏻❤️

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    1. Thank you Judith – I agree, I didn’t know if I should publish this, and give this person the energy or the satisfaction of a response. and if it had just been directed towards me, i would have just let it go — like i let all negative personal comments go. but this person brought my dear mom and dad into it, and so i had to defend them. Amen to that – sounds like you had awesome parents too! I agree – respect goes a long way, regardless of whether you agree on something or not – respect is a blanket dignity that every single person deserves! thanks again for your kind words. Hugs and love xox

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    1. thank you so much, gosh what a kind thing to say! yes! i have learned to embrace the woman God created me to be — messiness and all! Hugs and love xox

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  10. Wow such an ignorant comment who likely knows nothing about eating disorders. I’m sorry you had someone attack you on your blog. This should be your safe place where you can find support.

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    1. thank you Ang for having my back and for your kind words. Yes – I agree. I’d typically let it go, but if you speak negatively about my dear mom and dad…i have to defend them! so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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    1. aw, thank you my friend. I appreciate all ten thousand of them!! right back atcha! Hugs and love x 10,000 xox

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  12. I am so sorry you had to be subjected to what can only be described as verbal abuse. The truth is that hurting people go around hurting other people. We have to realize that is a hurting person on the other end of their abusive comment. They have no idea how much courage it took to overcome all that you had to overcome. The enemy is simply trying to use this person to shame you into silence, to break your resolve to help others and to cause you to fail in some way. Little did he know that he was dealing with a true warrior in Christ. So proud of you. You have flipped the tables around and turned his attack into a post! Ha ha devil, you messed with the wrong girl! 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much M for your kind words. Yeah, it was definitely not a nice thing to say – and i would normally let it slide if it was just about me, but if slander is directed towards my parents, i have to defend their honor. You’re right – the enemy is on the prowl, but Praise God that Christ already overcame the world! Thank you for your support and for having my back! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Hi Kenneth! thank you for this great thought – there is a way to block, yes – which i have thought about. but on the same token, perhaps the Good News is exactly what this person needs in their life. What do you think I should do? Hugs and love xox

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      1. Send them the link to your ‘My Story’ video if you still have their name etc and suggest they watch it. If you are talking of blocking it’s a case of how much the comment hurt you. I know if someone took the same line with a comment regarding either my cerebral palsy or epilesy I would be hurt. hope that’s helpful. xxx

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  14. Obviously, not only was this person vastly uninformed concerning you, your heart, your struggles, but this person is without Jesus. This person needs prayer on many levels, but mostly, to know the gracious Saviour. God’s grip, sweetie. – Alan

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    1. Thank you so much Alan for your kind words. I agree – they need Jesus, and I will certainly pray for them! God’s grip indeed. Glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  15. Wow I missed that one. I would have joined in and told him that hes decades late with that. And really if he was going to be rude about it why bother say it at all. It’s no way to even speak to someone like that.

    It’s funny because on YouTube some guys running a channel will pin the negative comment (usually it’s one every once in awhile) and the viewers will see it and tear into that guy.

    It was a car repair video and the guy was like “I was watching you try to crank this thing for 30 minutes before you figured out the starter was bad, I’m unsubscribing”. Missed out on that one too but the YouTuber had a live video having a laugh over the amount of comments of people trolling the guy.

    Sometimes you just gotta find the positives in the negatives and it shows you how people really have your back. That wasn’t cool though about what this guy said about you and its obvious he doesnt really know what hes talking about. Either way people like that need help themselves.

    But it’s also a reminder on how far you have got in life and great things are on the way.

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and for having my back. You’re right – we’ve always gotta seek the silver lining!!! 🙂 i appreciate you 🙂 big hugs xox

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  16. bullies will always be bullies, and those who are of God, often have to suffer, when they say something evil minded, remember, the promise of Jesus, every useless word they use will be used against them, and given that the signs today point to divine intervention, I’d smile if I were you, they hated you for no reason at all, which only makes the bullies, total losers where it matters, amen

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    1. You’re right about that – we’ve got to just remember the promise of Jesus! amen! thank you for your kind words. Hugs and love xox

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  17. What an IGNORAMUS to speak so unnecessarily to anyone’s post dealing with ANY ISSUE they have OVERCOME. Obviously, the person who wrote the nasty comment is in need of their own type of INTERVENTION to OVERCOME their such an ugly, prideful mindset. I pray they will allow God to do some healing work on their heart, mind, and soul because they obviously are suffering internally!

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    1. thank you Ms. Wanda for your kind words and for having my back! yes – i will join you in that prayer. there is power in prayer, and in situations like that you’ve just got to hand it all over to Jesus! Hugs and love xox

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  18. It is heartbreaking to me that people have to be mean. Maybe that helps them feel better about themselves. The meanie is reflection of the world we are living in and how it just seems to get worse. I am so proud of you for overcoming your illness, for wanting to help others, and for speaking up about controversial issues. May God bless you for being a shining light for His kingdom. ✝️❤️🙌

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    1. Hi Bridget thank you so much for your kind words and for having my back. you’re right about that – it’s a sign of the times. thank you for such encouraging words. God is good! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Thank you so much Jennifer for your kind words and for having my back! I’m seriously so touched! big hugs to you xox

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  20. The important thing is that God gave you supportive parents and the will to live a good life. Possibly the one who made that unkind comment has issues that stem from a dysfunctional childhood and it is a cry for help for themselves. We need to pray for such people as their comments reveal something is missing from their life only Jesus can fill.

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    1. Hi Ian! Thank you so much for this wonderfully kind comment. you’re right – GOd blessed me so much in giving me my parents. And amen – we need to pray for this person and others like them! Hugs and love xox

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    1. thank you so much Bernard! I appreciate that, i really am having a wonderful time! Hugs and love xox

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  22. Caralyn, I missed that mean comment. It’s too easy to take shots from the cheap seats. In fact, I wrote some about that last Sunday. You know I’m in your corner, but I’ll say it again. I’ve been so pleased to watch your progress over the years from writing in complete anonymity to now.

    My sisters and I were raised by the same parents. You know about my younger sister who died recently. My older sister, well, let’s just say her youngest son asked family friends to take him in so he wouldn’t have to live with her any more. She came to my mom’s funeral from out of town and spread rumors at my church that I abandoned my mom in the last year of her life.

    Then there’s me. I don’t know why my wife and daughters still love me and talk to me other than God gave me a break. My point is, parenting isn’t always the determining factor in a person’s life. Sometimes shit just happens. People go off the rails, and their parents had nothing to do with it. You turn right or left and then,…

    So Mr. Cheap Seats obviously isn’t a parent. Or hasn’t been one long enough to know what it’s really about. Either way, delete him and forget about it. You’ve got 40,000+ who get you. Including me!

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    1. Hey Jeff, thanks for such kind words, my friend. it really means a lot. oh gosh, i am so sorry to hear that you had to field those rumors. Gosh, especially between family members, that can be incredibly hurtful. I’m really sorry that you had to go through that. But you’re right about that – God has blessed us both with the people in our lives. It is a blessing beyond measure. And as they say, God is love, and the people He put in our lives are there for us to do just that 🙂 Thanks again for always believing in me and being in my corner. you’re a great friend and i’m grateful for you! hugs to you and your girls. xox

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      1. Thank you or your support, Caralyn. I really enjoyed our call the other day and the opportunity to share with you my younger sister’s ultimate victory with Jesus!! As you consider fall dates for CTK, let’s plan for sometime after Labor Day. Vacations will be over and you’ll get better attendance. Hugs back to you!!

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  23. Well said. I think I inhaled sharply when I read those mean, disturbing comments. It was beyond the beyond. It was hard to understand that much vitriol. He/she later told me I was a self-hating person who looked like a man wearing a wig, and then I wondered, is this an adolescent? Other than one extremely mean girl in college, I haven’t seen that level of immature mean since junior high/high school. It was clearly attention-seeking. And I debated offering empathy to this person, because I think much of what came out of his/her mouth is projection, and I felt as though he/she truly is experiencing self-hatred. No doubt he/she is lost, to have such vile views of children. Are they sorry they were born? Were they made to feel like a mistake? Just some thoughts than ran through my mind as I processed the level of vitriol. Regardless, it is up to him/her to heal the hurt, and not use it as a reason to tear others down.

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    1. Thank you PJ – I did the same, I honestly couldn’t believe that someone would say something so hurtful like that. it is bewildering to me. oh gosh, i’m so sorry that you had to receive such ugly words! oh my gosh, i am so sorry. you’re right – hurting people hurt people. sounds like they need prayer. so glad you stopped by. thanks for the encouragement. Hugs and love xox

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    1. so very very true my friend. thanks for stopping by, and for that great reminder! Hugs and love xox

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  25. Yes ma’am, your parents have done a wonderful job in raising, as well as helping and guiding you. You are a strong lady as well as a warrior for good and your cause. We are proud of you and support you.

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    1. thank you so much HJ for having my back and for the kind words. Amen to that – i think my parents are the cat’s pajamas! haha Thanks for your generous affirmations. Hugs and love xox

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  26. Thank you for your testimony, and for sharing the lessons you’ve learned from your experience. As I recall from the Gospels, people mocked Christ when he was on the Cross, but look at what came from his suffering. Thanks also for your very classy response to person who . . . well, let’s just say was behaving in a less than classy way.

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    1. Hi friend! thank you so much for your kind words of support. You’re so right about that – there is nothing we will endure that Christ hasn’t already endured and overcome! what a powerful reminder! Hugs and love xox

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  28. I missed the comment, but praise to you for standing up to the bully. I love the great things social media gives us, but unfortunately it gives a few sad people the anonymity they’re looking for to spout hatred. Two people can disagree on a topic . . . but when one resorts to horrible, hate-filled comments, it’s just wrong. Like I wrote, praise to you for standing up for your parents and you!

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  29. it takes guts to bring a comment like that up on your website, Caralyn. Some people are so full of hate, it’s so sad. Honestly, I think your parents are very good parents, and I’ve never met them! Be well. 🙏🏻❤️😎

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  30. BBB, take care to make sure you revere this person as they are due. Not often do we find anyone so brilliant and insightful to be able to make a Psychological, Sociological, Physical and Medical diagnosis by reading an article written by someone who would not recognize you if you entered his abode and sat on his lap. People like this are to be pitied. They are usually, as reported in many studies, all alone in the world with little to show for a pathetic life who can only find success in tearing others down to their level. We do know this is not a person of God because Godly people don’t act that way. In John 10:10, Jesus tells us “10 The thief does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” The statements he made toward you fall right in all three of those categories. He is trying to steal your position, steal your peace and joy, he is trying to kill your attitude as well as your reputation and he is trying to destroy your BLOG and ministry. As much hate that he shows can only come from the pits of Hell itself. Anyone with that much hate truly needs our prayers. God. Put on your Canvass Back and let his comments roll off of you like water off a Duck’s back. God Bless you in all you do. Keep it up. Maranatha!

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  31. There will always be someone the enemy uses to take us down. Way to go standing firm in the grace of God. That person is loved by our Father who is the perfect parent and only does what is the very best for us, but he/she still chose to be hateful to you. Praying for you both!

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  32. I didn’t see the mean comment but I think you responded well to that comment in this blog post. You got the help, which is a part of why you are where you are! (And I’m sure your parents are wonderful too!)

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  33. Therefore, there is now NO condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)
    18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. (John 3:18)
    The Spirit clearly says that in later times some will abandon the faith and follow deceiving spirits and things taught by demons. 2 Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron. (1 Timothy 4)
    Some people are “7 always learning but never able to come to a knowledge of the truth. 8 Just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these teachers oppose the truth. They are people of depraved minds, who, as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. (1 Timothy 3)

    Stand strong and be of good courage!!

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  34. Wow! I missed that one. The unfortunate truth is that there will always be “haters” in life. You are full of grace & courage to respond as you did to such an obviously unhappy person. I tip my sunhat to you! And I for one KNOW that your parents are truly incredible people in every sense of the word!! Shine on, my dear. ❤️ You’ve got this and we’re all behind you 200%!

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  37. Adorable nephews! And lovely parent pic.
    Carolyn, you had to address this, not for yourself but for the many others he most likely judges and even bullies. Most people don’t have the support, faith, and beauty that you have.
    Bravo for standing up on their behalf.

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  39. I love you, as always, my precious, beautiful friend. Evil is out there and I am proud of you being so right that evil had to attack you. Praise God!!! Focus on God, keep going. You are obviously on the right track. Focus on God. And yes, I know I said that already. Hug your parents for me. They are heroes! Hugs! XO😃❤

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  41. Bravo! I do not understand anyone who would be so hurtful and negative! I am so proud of you! The funny thing is, I discovered you apart from your recovery ministry (which I think is awesome). When I first read your well-written and insightful blog – I was amazed at your wisdom. As I read more, I began to understand the depth of your experiences and your awesome recovery with God at your side.

    Keep writing! Keep sharing God’s TRUTH! Hooray for you ! Hooray for your parents who must be quite proud of your bravery and strength!

    I, for one, am grateful for YOU !!

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  42. Such a comment speaks for itself, Jaclyn. In many cases, people who leave such comments are hurting inside in some way, shape, or form and act out against others, some in the form of rude, insulting comments. I applaud your response, the honor you give to your parents, and the charge you lead every day to help others deal with the physical and emotional road of recovery from anorexia. Best of all, I enjoy how you always point people to the true strength of your recovery– God! “This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” (Ezk. 37:5) You can also look at that person’s rude comment as a form of affirmation that you are doing the Lord’s work, for when we do the Lord’s work, the forces of evil will always attack to try and slow us down. God bless you for the work you are doing to help others. Keep Charging!!

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  44. Amen! This is how we respond to those who try tu pull us down. Sometimes people leave nasty comments because they have not overcome their own pain and suffering, I have seen it so many times. Never saw the comment on your post but glad you have overcome and had a lot of support! God bless

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  47. They find it confronting that you have done the hard yards and they still haven’t. Not that this is a problem as we each get our path to face, defeat by understanding it, and through it find a love we never knew existed…ours.
    You know it now by experiencing it, their turn is coming. I hope they make it, because where we now stand is something that can barely be put into words, it just touches us with such peace and acceptance…oh, and that incredible love that sat quietly inside until we were ready.
    Enjoy dear lady, it is a difficult path, but a very beautiful one because you dared it 😀 ❤️ 🙏🏽 🦋

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  49. Unfortunately, it has become the pastime of basement-dwelling trolls everywhere to try and crap all over people’s lives and cancel them.

    I loved your response. More people need to stand up to these vermin instead of caving in with some half-baked apology for somehow offending them.

    There was only one perfect person to ever walk the earth and He certainly wasn’t an Internet troll! Keep up the good work and stay strong!

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