I’m going to be honest, tonight’s post was really hard to write.
Not because this is a controversial topic, that…as you may know, I can never shy away from.
Not because my life was just so hectic, crazy busy that I couldn’t squeeze in the time to write a blog post.
But because, frankly…today for the first time in a long time…I felt like I just had nothing left to give.
My soul felt kind of spent. Emotionally exhausted.
Nothing to “read in-between the lines” here — things with my special gentleman are better than ever. In fact, I was at a birthday party over the weekend with a bunch of friends I haven’t seen in ages, and when asked how I was doing, I found myself beaming, doing a big ear-to-ear grin, proclaiming that I was happier than I have ever been! Which is 100% true!
But there are some – unrelated – things weighing on my heart that made writing a post today feel — inauthentic.
Sure, I could sit here and churn out some sort of “fluff” piece about “Three Things I Think About in the Morning for a Great Day!” But frankly, that just felt so phony and just icky.
So I thought it was the perfect opportunity to just come on here and say, it’s okay to feel a little drained sometimes.
I know I’m not the only one. There are things in this world that are out of our control, that have a huge impact on us. I mean, go to the grocery store for milk and eggs, and get ready to take out a second mortgage. A tank of gas? You’d better be prepared to sell a kidney on the black market. I mean, inflation is simply out of control. And that is weighing heavily on everyone. And the fact that there’s no light at the end of the tunnel for that, and that it’s actually going to get worse before it gets better — causes massive distress.
The looming war and the potential devastating consequences that may bring is another thing. You can’t turn on the news without seeing terrifying footage of bombings and air strikes. It’s equally horrifying and heartbreaking.
Seeing the absolute free fall of any semblance of morality left in our cultural, and the embrace and indoctrination of radical agendas — is deeply unsettling. And immensely disturbing, thinking about the future.
On a personal note, I’m more homesick than ever – missing my family. And every FaceTime call – watching my nieces and nephews grow up and start talking and getting bigger and I’m not there, it really wells up a lot of heartache for me, knowing that time is the one resource we can never get back, and no matter how much money in the world you have, you can’t buy more of.
And gosh – as I’m writing this now, I have tears streaming down my face, so apparently I hit a nerve.
Those, along with a couple other personal things — I just am a little flat today.
Sometimes even Scripture can feel hollow, going in one ear and out the other. But it’s days like today when I try to remind myself that Jesus has already gone through anything I may be going through. And that not only did He come out victorious, but He is carrying me through it too.
“The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”— Deuteronomy 31:8
I don’t have any solutions for these walls that seem to be squeezing in closer every day, but I do know that we are not alone.
I do know that we all have immense blessings around us, if we only take the time to recognize them.
And I do know that the best way to get out of a “funk” is to do something kind for someone else, which is exactly what I’m going to do right now.
Peace, friends. Sending massive love to each and every one of you.
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