The “Prove Yourself” Society

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Are you sitting down?

Because I’ve got some news.

OK, maybe I’m building it up a little much. #guilty

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But guys, The SAT’s are changing.

I know. High school me is legit wigging out on the inside.

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The essay — optional. Calculators — banned for parts of it. Vocabulary — less obscure and more “workplace-oriented”…whatever that means. And lastly….it’s going to be offered digitally. 

I know. I’ll wait while you collect yourself.

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I have a very sad feeling that #2 pencils are slowly becoming extinct.

*sigh*

So, I have a confession. I am clearly not in high school. I am a twenty something New Yorker. I don’t own a snapchat. I’ve worn a croptop all of 2 times. And (spoiler alert) I don’t “FeelTheBern.” So, in an effort to stay relevant with the youths of today, I do a little recon work.

I know. I am so cool.

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But the other day, I was killing time doing my new favorite activity: listening to podcasts.

Seriously though, they’re the best because you can be listening while you go about your day. And plus, it makes the lines at Trader Joe’s much more tolerable.

Anywho. One of the featured podcasts was by a teen girl living in New York.

So, clearly….I gave it a listen.

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And this sweet girl was having a mini melt down about the new SAT test.

But amidst the ermahgerd’s and “can’t evens,” something she said really struck me.

And made my heart hurt.

She said that the new test is stressful because she just wants to be able to prove herself to the college admissions boards.

Prove herself.

Oh my heart just goes out to this young girl.

And yes, I fully acknowledge that there is some bit of truth: tests are designed to show your ability and mastery of topics you learn in high school.

But my goodness, this test does not determine your worth as a human being!

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What kind of expectations are we placing on students if they equate their SAT score with proving their worth as a person!?

But in all honesty, I know the answer to that question.

Because I was right there in high school.

The over-achiever syndrome: perfectionism. And for me, it seeped into every area of my life: from my wardrobe, to grades, to refraining from drinking, to extra curriculars, to appearance…eventually leading to a severe case of anorexia.

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When I heard this young girl lamenting over the need to prove herself, it took me right back to that head space that I knew all too well.

There is nothing more toxic – nothing more insatiable or addictive – than the feeling of needing to please other people. Needing to prove oneself.

And for me, it was never about proving myself to other people. My family and friends never expected perfection. And I knew that. I needed to be perfect because I expected it.

And to be 100% honest, it is something that I still am working on today.


Here’s what I have to remind myself every morning.

I have nothing to prove.

Nothing.


When it comes to me and my dignity and worth as a human being…there is nothing that I can do to prove or verify or influence that.

Because that has already been proven by God.

He has already determined it. Declared it. Proved it when Jesus went to the Cross. He said, this girl, and all her baggage, is worth dying for.

And you know what? That takes all the pressure off of me.

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I don’t have to wear a certain outfit or brand. I don’t have to have my eyebrows on fleek like all the YouTube beauty bloggers out there. I don’t have to get a certain test score, or be friends with a certain group, or drive a certain car, or go to a certain school, or attend a certain party. No. I can just let all that go.

God says I have nothing to prove.

Because He did.

Even though I fall short. Even though I am a walking hot mess 95% of the time.

God sees the heart. God sees me with eyes of mercy.

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So if you’re reading this and are stressing out about the new SAT’s — or really just about anything for that matter — applying for jobs, looking for a significant other, paying off student loans, waiting for college admittance letters, making new friends….just take a breath.

You don’t have to be perfect or prove yourself to anyone. Including yourself. Because you’ve already been proven worthy. No matter what your SAT score.

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

202 thoughts on “The “Prove Yourself” Society”

  8. Ahh, that was just lovely! So well said.

    I often feel bad about the kind of culture we’ve created where it is all about proving yourself, in order to pursue wealth and success mostly. Our priorities are a bit skewed and with rather tragic results.

    Jesus Christ does not demand such things of us, He loves us just as we are. The bible actually calls our efforts to prove ourselves to Him,”filthy rags.” Still being a tiny bit hip and cool, I just don’t want to be clothed in filthy rags. His love for us is more like white raiment, as in He who overcomes shall be clothed in white raiment 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  15. The world says to us, “Come and impress us.”
    Jesus says, “I was impressed before you started because I know what I made you to be and that is enough.”
    If we can just relax and be ourselves that is a pretty impressive achievement.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Oh this touched my heart. It is a struggle even at 35 to remember I don’t have to earn Gids acceptance, and that everyone else comes up as a far off world second…and even more so that if I DO have to earn anything from they they don’t deserve me. Smh
    I wasn’t blessed with a college education but I’d gladly take the acceptance God shows me daily and pass in on in exchange for all the formal learning the world could give. 💜

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Best line of the whole thing: “He said, this girl, and all her baggage, is worth dying for.” Dying for someone messed up, because you want to help them get better…this I can see. But her baggage?!?

    I used to be a corporate instructor, and we all got the same comments every week; room is too hot, room is to cold. Food is great, food sucked. Pace too fast, pace too slow. You learn fast that no one bats 1.000 no matter what you’re trying to do. At the end of the day, proof never really happens. God loves me. I hope you do too, but if not, I understand.

    A corollary to that is “Everyone is someone’s jerk.” Even me. We’re all flawed, we’re all loaded with baggage, and God thinks we’re all worth it.

    Beauty, you’re always a good read. Thank you for keeping them coming!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Jeffrey☺️ I appreciate it, friend. You’re right-His sacrifice , knowing our baggage — what an incredible gift. Thanks for this beautiful perspective. God is good. And I am so thankful for you! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Beautiful post! May be one of my favorites, because I can relate! I took the SAT (the old one) just now in 8th grade. My grades were OK and I earned a Grand just because of a 700 in writing, but my math was off and my dad made me feel like crap because he had high expectations for me. Taking it again this year probably .. also stressed! So true, though! 😀

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  30. Another great post as usual and beautifully written and insightful as well 🙂 The one thing I always hated about SAT’s is that it often leads a student to wrongly believe that it judges their human qualities, when it is just their intelligence. Nevertheless, pass or fail, I think their is a reasonable amount of intelligence in them nonetheless. Their human qualities are not judged here nevertheless and nobody should place judgement on that. Everything you say in this post is right on the mark. I mean after all, we were all created from God. On a side note, I watched this christian ensemble drama the other night called Do You Believe? and it was really powerful (I heard it was from the same studio that put out God’s Not Dead which I have not seen). Have you seen Do You Believe? yet? It is really touching 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey John! Thank you so much! Aw that means so much. I agree-it’s just a test score. Not the be all end all. I have not seen that! But it sounds really interesting! I’ll keep my eyes open for it! Thanks for the heads up! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  35. Whoah… just simply straight up …whoah! You can’t really get deeper then this. Hearing you talk about that need to prove… to please …moments and feelings from my last created up like dirty little skeletons. Thanks to schools we are taught to think are lesser than we are. Because to school out worth is determined by words on a paper. ..just… I mean I could talk about this topic better myself.

    Liked by 1 person

  39. wow you use more memes and gifs in a post than i do in an animated argument with my friends haha
    nice post to read
    and thanks for liking my post
    cheers mate

    Liked by 1 person

  40. Great blog I have two children just about to do their SATS. I believe theses exam should be promoted as tests to check that the teachers have covered all the topics relevant and interesting to our children, not that our children have passed or failed Third child is just about to do her A levels so she can get into university. How do we ease the pressure in our household? We don’t even mention SATS because we refuse to feed that ogre, we encourage our eldest and we are taking them all on an adventure to Ireland the weekend before because the tests because there is more to life than tests. There’s FUN to be had and FAMILY time to be enjoyed and a WHOLE WORLD out there to discover. Have a great day BBB x

    Liked by 1 person

  41. I got 2 degrees in college, one with honors. I’ve always been proud of my diplomas. I wanted to prove myself too. But what is my situation ATM? I’m on long term sick leave after burning out at work on a low qualified but yet exhausting job. So what am I? I am my parent’s precious daughter who they nearly lost. I am my best friend’s faithfull friend in the best and worst moments. I am a human creature trying to improve herself and her soul every day.

    Liked by 2 people

  47. Great post! As my son prepares to take the SAT this June, I pray that the revised format proves beneficial to him. He’s never been a great test-taker and I’ve always felt that standardized tests do not offer the best insight into the type of student, or person you are. Perhaps I’m guilty of bad parenting because the only emphasis I put on these scholastic hurdles is that you just need to get over this one in order to advance to the next stage. I tell him how great he is every day, with or with out the perfect scores. Praying for a little Divine Intervention in June to catapult him into collegiate status:-)

    Liked by 1 person

  48. What a beautifully emotional post! In support of it I offer this thought: In John Milton’s sonnet “On His Blindness”, he wrestles with the question of how he as a blind person can prove himself, especially to God, in a sighted world. The last line says it all, “They also serve who only stand and wait.” As you say, Christ makes up the difference in every case.

    Your empathy for the young girl confronted by the SAT comes through so clearly . Somehow I want to believe that she will be drawn, even if by Angels, to this lovely post. Rich

    Like

  49. I can’t believe the pressure that kids have now. My husband and I joke to ourselves that our “average” kids are bringing down the neighborhood. My son’s in 4th grade, and he feels the pressure from his super achieving friends. My daughter could care less. It’s hard to raise “average” kids in today. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  50. Now this is some good news and good because it’s so true. People need to know that what they have been searching for is all in the kingdom. What you are sharing points people to their Father who is Spirit. When you feel lost, a map might just change your outlook. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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