Thank You, Captain Obvious

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

*sigh*

It was an…interesting weekend.

I always find myself on Sunday night, staring at a blank computer screen wondering, “Okay, God. What the H am I supposed to write.”

Tonight…I know exactly what I’m supposed to say.

Back at the beginning of this month, I published the post, Honesty Hour. And first of all, I have just been blown away by the outpouring of encouragement and kindness. So thank you. Truly.


But in it, I talked about feeling restless about what I’m supposed to do with my life, my career, my love life, everything.

And basically, I summed it up by saying that God is always communicating with us. We just have to be aware.

Well this weekend, He smacked me upside the head with His message.

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But what happens when what He’s saying is not what you want to hear?

Allow me to set the stage.

3 boys. 3 days. 3 messages.

God pulled A Christmas Carol – “Ghost of Christmas Past” – move on me.

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Thursday night: I’m falling asleep and I literally pray out loud in exasperation, “God, please just show me what you want me to do with my love life. I’m tired of waiting.”


There are a few interesting guys on my radar. Now, I am completely aware that this sounds like I’m “playing the field.” But that’s not the case. In an effort to be open to love, I am trying to be open to the people that God places in my life. And so, there are a couple interesting guys. Interesting sparks, if you will.

Well, during three different episodes this weekend, I was shown legitimate deal breakers about each and every one of them.

That, my friends, is what you call God being Captain Obvious.


Think I’m exaggerating?

Friday Night: I find out Guy A, possibly has another girlfriend back in his home country.


This is learned from a conversation I had with one of his 10 friends visiting from across the pond.

Communicated: this guy could possibly have infidelity issues.
Saturday Night: I have a 2 hour conversation with my mother about my love life and what God wants me to do with my life. I feel restless and super impatient, but my mother assures me that God has a plan and that He will reveal it.

Not even an hour after that conversation ends, Guy B literally shows up on my doorstep,  having taken a bus to NYC. He wanted to reevaluate why I ended things back in January. I have not heard from him in months. He had everything going for him – but I just didn’t have that romantic feeling.

What I think is being communicated: This is obviously God saying, “Get over yourself, BBB! This is the guy for you!” 

But I will find out, that is not the message.

Sunday Afternoon: Guy C has a birthday party and he does not issue me a personal invitation. Which doesn’t sound like that big of a deal. He didn’t personally invite anyone, and come on…this is the world of Facebook and texting. Get over yourself, right? But we’ve had a history since 2012, so you would think he’d make an emotional advance already!


Communicated: this guy either doesn’t truly care or lacks the gumption to reveal his feelings.

Let me pause here. These are three guys who I have known since I moved to NYC in 2012. And I have been “pursued” by each one individually for 2-3 years. That’s a significant amount of time. Not that I’ve wasted, but that, I’ve been stalling. Mainly because I haven’t been ready to accept love, but none the less, I have never shown my cards — been in a perpetual state of waiting.

And then this weekend happens right after I prayed that prayer.

So I was like, “Dang, I need to figure out what all this means. STAT.”


And here’s what I got: I think that in each of these three situations, God has shown me that I’ve been devoting all this time and energy into these relationships, and none of them are who He has planned. So I need to stop spinning my wheels and find someone who will a) have me as his one and only, b) respect my boundaries and c) be able to communicate his feelings.

God was telling me no.

And that is hard to hear.


Could I have read that big romantic gesture of showing up Breakfast-Club-style as God smacking me over the head saying, Helloooo! Do I have to spell it out for you!? I am hand delivering who is right for you!

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Sure. But I’m missing the greater message. The message as it relates to this crazy and blatantly coincidental weekend.

God says no sometimes. And it sucks. But I have to trust that He’s not going to leave me high and dry.

Maybe I’m supposed to realize that I’m not looking for love in the right places. That my friend group is not the place to find love.


Maybe Guy B’s freakishly timely arrival at my doorstep was just God reminding me that there are still good guys out there and that I shouldn’t compromise.

Maybe God is just winking at me saying, “You wanted a sign, you got one, baby!”

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I don’t know. I have to pray and reflect more on all of this.

But here’s what I do know:

God does communicate with us. In conversations. In coincidental circumstances. In your gut when you just get that feeling. In people showing up at your door in the middle of the night.


He is always sending us messages. But how often do we actually take some time to actually reflect on what it is He’s trying to say?

I am SO guilty of this. Life is BUSY. I’m working, hanging out with my friends, blogging, instagramming, writing posts, thinking about posts, insta-stalking Beyonce and her “Becky with the good hair” scandal…

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…going grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning — and this is all while multi-tasking and listening to a podcast in my ear at the same time!

My mind is never quiet.

So truly, how then should I expect to hear God’s gentle whisper??

So advice time: how do you do this? I’m genuinely asking? How do you make sure you are able to hear God’s voice?

Because it’s out there.


So that’s what I’ve got.

I’m just trying to trust. To remember that God knows exactly what he’s doing. And even though I don’t understand, He does. And He already has the right man picked out for me. I won’t be able to miss him.

God has never once abandoned me. Not through my anorexia. Not through fears and changes and new starts and pain. He has always been faithful. And He’s always encouraging me and communicating with me along the way. The trick is to recognize His speaking.


 

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

313 thoughts on “Thank You, Captain Obvious”

  1. I think I’m still not ready to open myself to love in that way. I feel like I’m happy where I’m at right now and busy. I don’t know if I have the emotional bandwidth to love both myself and another person when loving myself is so hard. I’m also really busy and want God to give me someone who is not hard to love. I finally am accepting myself, I don’t want to have to make changes to that person for another. I guess I don’t know what I’m looking for, if I’m looking for anyone at all…
    Sounds sad, but you’re right, God will lead. I will follow.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Ellie! Thank you for sharing this. Girl I feel. You. Oh my gosh, I do. It is so hard to open your heart to loving another person. I’m not there yet-I’m still probably only 60-70% there, but it’s a journey and I trust wholeheartedly that God will lead me where I need to go. And same for you. God will work on your heart and reveal someone special to you when you are ready. There’s no rush. I think you’re really brave and on the right path my friend. Sending so much love xox

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      1. I know this is hard, and I’m really not one to talk, but when they step to the altar, two people promise to surrender themselves to be Christ’s committed emissary in each other’s life. That only seems like a sane thing to do if you’ve had that experience at least once with them – that they disappear and become God’s representative in your life making sense of who you are as a woman, and that you feel at some moment that you disappear and God reaches through you to touch them to make sense of who they are as a man. That ultimately leads to both partners disappearing to see God between them, and finally for that to become a reproducible practice so that when they come together, God is with them. So, while it is fair to ask “when is God going to send someone to me”, we also have to pray for the reverse. And we have to keep on practicing with our potential partners, because we never know when that opening will occur and God will step into the relationship. So at every moment, with every person, we have to keep on asking: what is God trying to do for them through me?

        And here I am blathering on and you just liked my post on the nature of the sacred. It really should be like that. And that may mean that we should never pray “When will I receive,” because it is in offering ourselves that the power of love is able to make the connection.

        I hope that this makes sense. It’s almost midnight and I’m not too sure I understand what I’m writing myself.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Thank you so much, Brian, for this wonderful perspective. I love this: you’re right: your spouse definitely holds an important place, as the union between man and wife includes God. Thanks for this great insight. Sending hugs and love xox

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  4. I know it’s cliche (and the older I get, the more I start to spew them), but love finds you when you’re not looking for it. When you’re not ready. When the timing is wrong. When you meet someone who is right, you won’t have to wonder. You won’t have to spend years figuring out what’s the deal. When THE ONE comes along, it hits you on the head, because you realize you met someone who feels like family and you “won’t be able to quit him.” Relax, continue living your life, love yourself, value yourself and fill it with happiness so you feel complete when you are alone. Only then, he will magically appear.

    Liked by 4 people

      1. I was in such a miserable marriage w/ a 2-year-old and felt so stuck, hopeless, sad every day. Then one day I took my son to his first real birthday party and a clown came to entertain. Ten years to the day later married him. I never thought I’d be rewarded with the real love of my life because I screwed up w/ my choice the first time. Unexpected places and times. I don’t believe in “God” in the same way as you do, but I believe in a greater force that will reward you for living your truth. I’m rambling. Cheering for you and ❤

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      2. Hi friend, thank you so much for sharing this. I’m so glad you’ve found the true love of your life! That is so amazing and inspiring. So glad you stopped by and shared your heart! Sending hugs and love 🙂 xox

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I try having alone time with God. Reflecting on His word. Also when I ask a question, listening in that moment for an answer. Like having a conversation with Him. Doesn’t always work of course because I get impatient waiting for a response and as you said, it’s so hard to quiet the mind. But it takes practice. We’re all learning and growing together ☺️

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  6. I love this! Sending you so much Light and love, and big hugs. What came present for me (and maybe this is because it’s what I need to hear) is that when God closes one for, it’s because he’s going to open an even better one. I split with a partner I truly loved a few weeks ago, and I’m rely working through that. Thank you, thank you for your post. 😊 Blessings

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    1. thank you so much for sharing this. i’m sorry you’re going through a break up. sending a big hug. you’re so right – God will always take care of us, so if he closes a door, there is always something better on the horizon. thanks again for the encouragement. hugs and love xox

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  7. Gosh, this post is so beautiful! You truly deserve a good, holy man and I believe he is worth the wait and will exceed all your expectations because he is given to you by God. Teenage girls must read this post, give the Lord the pen to write their love story and trust in Him – I know I have 🙂 Blessings!

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  9. It sounds as though you’re on the path to acceptance. And keeping your mind and heart open to all sorts of possibilities. Why do I have such a strong feeling that a guy, the right guy, will come into your life when you least expect it. In the meantime, love yourself, take care of yourself and know that God is looking out for you. Everything else will fall into place. Beautiful post.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Miriam, thank you for this wonderful reflection. I hope you’re right! I definitely would be okay with that! ☺️ but amen to that- love myself, love God, and trust in Him. Thanks for reading. Hugs and love xox

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  10. Job 33:14-16 KJV
    For God speaketh once, yea twice, yet man perceiveth it not.
    [15] In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon men, in slumberings upon the bed;
    [16] Then he openeth the ears of men, and sealeth their instruction,
    Blessings.

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  11. Ive asked my daughter “why” is a relationship necessary at this point (shes 18) not as an argument but a point of reflection. Is the why due to loneliness, a genuine desire to find a life mate and to be ready for ALL of that entails whether it be sickness, a little neglect if you are seeing a workaholic, just life stuff … a friend of mine got married and found out she had cancer a month later and she had a good guy that seriously loved her and they are making it but it puts a strain on any relationship. If its companionship without knowing if you are ready for a commitment get a plant or a fish … something to love kind of thing. Visit an animal shelter … something that provides comfort until you can figure it out. Is the why due to needs of validation, is the why because you feel like this is something that should be accomplished with in a certain time frame and do you feel like you have failed if its not on schedule. Just stuff to ponder. Good luck, God loves you and this stuff is just teachable moments from Him 💘 He knows us better than we know ourselves, deep breaths, pen, paper, jot down thoughts.

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      1. You too LOL I was thinking apartment 😂 Motives are important, not necessarily good or bad, and He knows what you are able to handle right now.

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      3. Sorry if Im blowing it up😶😃 Marriage is for 2 people to become one, a reflection of the Church and Christ. You are precious in His sight and He isnt going to give your hand to somebody who is unworthy of you, as any Father would not. He will walk you down the aisle for somebody who will be joined to you to glorify His kingdom and who will be a reflection of how He feels about you. Praying,… it WILL happen!

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  12. I LOVE this post and you are SO REAL with it!!! Many people try to be so prim and proper that they lose their message in the confusion of perfection. I don’t know if that makes any sense. I guess what I’m saying is that you have mastered the skill of speaking in your own voice in your writing. I feel like I’m sitting and having a cup of coffee or tea with you and listening to your story!! I love that !!!!!

    As far as listening to God’s voice, I’m with you in many ways. One thing that has been a blessing to me in that area is that I have been unable to afford television for a few years now. I am so excited about how much more I hear from God when He talks because the noise of my life isn’t drowning Him out!!! It seems revolutionary! LOL

    As far as the dating thing, I, too, am learning to accept love. Because of several abuse situations in my life, I have had much trouble ACCEPTING love from others!!! What I kind of hear you saying is that you have struggled with the same issue. Well, I’m so glad that God is there to keep us from making mistakes because we have believed lies about relationships in the past. He is the ULTIMATE model of what a man should be in our lives and as I was reading your post, I realized that I should be patterning my search for a man based on the attributes I see in God. It may seem stupid, but it never really occurred to me before. Thanks again for sharing!!

    Nikki

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Nikki! Gosh thank you for this beautiful and encouraging comment! You’re so right: God is THE ULTIMATE model. And amen to that: He really is always there for us. And communicating with us. How comforting is that?! Thanks again for reading! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Hello beautybeyondbones, It took me some years to accept not being in a relationship. The men that were in my life were not meant for me. Although I am not in a relationship, and have not been for some time, I am at peace. I would like the right individual to enter my life, but what I want most is to do God’s will. So, if it is His will, I know he will send the man that is meant for me to me. I have to be ready, and the man has to be ready. God is always preparing both individuals. Thank you for you post. LaShea

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi LaShea, thank you for this heartfelt reflection. How beautiful. You’re right. I want to do Gods will as well, so I’ll wait on His timing. Thanks for this great perspective. Hugs and love xox

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  14. My friend B.I I’ve taken sometime to read your post . I had to read it because it was about boys, and of course I’m a boy that has been in your shoes with the opposite sex. Here’s what I gather, you’re a terrific person. Millions can see that you Love God. Give your Mom a pat on the back for the way she has taught you. I still go through this sort of thing from time to time wondering when it will happen, and who?
    I’ve had many discussions with people about this. Wondering is Girl A perfect for me, no wait maybe it’s girl B or let’s look at girl C. I can only tell you what told me in this situation. “Dear Child, Be Still and Know That I Am God.” We as people sometimes forget who is in control. What we sometimes fail to realize beauty isn’t defined by certain facial features. The look of a person’s eyes or status that they may have. Perhaps this is your hour to draw near to Him. On a personal level perhaps Girl A is not for me, she may have a cute smile and absolutely adore Jesus but life should not about a race to the altar. However it is a race to his Altar. We as people have to understand that even the world may classify us as being single, we are not we are united by Christ. His Love surpasses all understanding. In fact, that is I took the bold step to come out of the world and be separate unto Him Which is why I started the blog because I wanted to show the masses that old children’s song was right. Jesus loves me this I know because the Bible tells me so…. Press ON

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  15. It is always hard to hear “No” from God. That’s why people constantly say God didn’t answer their prayers. He did…and His no means there is a yes out there in the future that is far better than what we have in front of us, but we are so “right now” oriented, the thought of waiting can be physically painful. I have been single now for 10 year. I have learned to be comfortable being me and knowing that there may actually be an “IF” for a future relationship, but I’m much older. I work at being happy with that and work daily on resting in His time. It’s hard. I’m praying for you.
    Allison

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  16. Apply your talents to things and ideas that inspire you. Learn all you can about topics and fields of study that you find compelling. This is the best way to cross trails with the best types of life partners.

    Guy B: You didn’t feel romantic. That is a heavy signal that he, whatever his great qualities, isn’t the right one for you. Look for a similar signal that is “romance on” when you meet Guy Z. You’ll know it when you feel it.

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  18. When one door closes, another one opens. Be patient. God does have someone for you, but He may have you waiting for a reason. God bless you.

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  19. BBB (if I may be so bold),

    I have a few thoughts about this very fine post, and since you ask for advice I will be bold and offer a tiny bit.

    With regard to Bachelor #1: you don’t (from what you said) know that he may have a wandering eye, right? At the moment, since he has not declared himself and from what you have said, it also sounds like he might be “in transition” as it were (if the lady back home was not going to work out, or something). So it seems from this ignorant outsider’s perspective – based only upon what you said – that giving up on this fellow at this time may be premature. Maybe you should wait until the probablies become definitelies one way or the other.

    With regard to Bachelor #2: romantic feelings are nice, to be sure, but they don’t last and they won’t see you through the hard times of marriage. You know the situation and I don’t, but a mere absence of feelings of some sort should not, in my opinion, be a total deal-breaker by itself. My wife of 26 years and I never actually dated before our engagement. We were good friends (without benefits thankyouverymuch), and that friendship developed (and is still developing!) into better things.

    With regard to Bachelor #3: at least part of the reason that my wife and I never dated was that I was a total coward (of course, she did turn me down the one time I offered to pay her way…but I digress). It wasn’t until after I ran away from her that I realized I did not want to live without her. The point is that Bachelor #3 may be trying to drum up the courage.

    Anyway, I am *not* trying to make things harder. My point is that love is a choice and a decision that you will have to make everyday even after you are married, and if one of these three particularly interests you, it seems (from what you have said, from this one man’s point of view) that you should not give up hope yet.

    I hope this helps.

    FiN

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi FiN, thank you so much for this great perspective and advice! i really do appreciate it. Definitely lots of things to think about. You’re right on the money though: love is a choice and a decision to by made every day. thanks again. it does help:) hugs and love xox

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  20. You know Jesus said, “You will know them by their fruits.” If I were you, no matter what, I would take enough time, to find out anyone’s “fruit.” Bad fruit will usually show up, and so will good fruit.

    I use this guide for any relationship I am in. Of course I am married, so it is usually “friendships.” Though I do not judge anyone, I always discern the fruit one is producing. If we do not do this, they can take us to places where God does not want us. Good post. Love and God Bless, SR

    Liked by 1 person

      1. While you are taking your “fruit inventory” always remember, sometimes different “fruits” do not mix well together, and they can leave sort of a “bitter taste in your mouth.” 🙂 God Bless, SR

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  21. The timing of this is interesting because earlier today I started writing posts around the subject of hearing God’s voice. Stay tuned! What I’d like to say now is that, for believers, a wife is found by a man, women don’t search for husbands (see Proverbs 18:22 and all verses chronically the meeting of couples in the Bible). I remember my single years, knowing I wanted to be married but meeting many “toads.” A wonderful woman of God advised me to spend my time becoming a wife instead of looking for “the guy.” Thank God for wise counsel! I took her up on it, read several Christian books, Bible in tow, and asked Jesus to prepare me. There’s still quite a bit of “on the job training” in marriage, but I can’t imagine how much harder it would be if I’d just spent my single years on the lookout for “the guy.” Bottom line: You do not really grasp the magnitude of what you’re asking for, so let Jesus prepare you for it and leave the timing to Him😉

    Just my two cents, for what it’s worth!

    Liked by 3 people

  22. First, let me say that I LOVE your blog. I was quite tickled all the way through–you have a great sense of humor–but it’s also mainly because I can relate. It can be difficult to be patient in your waiting, and yet you always have to remember God DOES know what’s best. So thanks for the reminder! Second, I just recently went through something where I had to make personal time for God. Sometimes you just have to stop everything–turn the TV off, take out those headphones, put the cell on silent, etc.–find your quiet place in the house or wherever, and be still so you can hear Him.

    When you hear God’s voice you know, and when it sounds like me or it “kinda” sounds like Jesus but not really, then I know it isn’t Him. If it does not line up with scripture, then I KNOW I know that it isn’t Him. Whatever God said should line up with His Word, and as I believe you mentioned, sometimes that means He will tell you what you need to hear even when you don’t want to hear it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! Aw, that really means a lot. I’m glad it resonated with you! Amen to that: God DOES know best. I just have to trust and BE PATIENT!! And you’re right — i’ve gotta just press pause on the Netflix and make time for Jesus. 30 Rock is great, but God is better! thanks again. hugs and love! xox

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  23. I always find that listening to God doesn’t take true listening. For me it’s always been stepping out of my comfort zone and doing things that I normally wouldn’t do.
    I’ll give you an example. My last blog post I wrote about my divorce and having to see my ex in court. So I went to court that day and any other time I’ve gone, I got myself so worked up and seething angry at him that I would be shaking. Ready to burst as soon as the judge addressed me. This time, I was feeling so good about myself that day, that I chose not to take the usual anger route. At the courthouse, I stepped off the elevator and there my ex sat. Instead of grimacing I said, hey, how are you? Inside the courtroom the judge asked if I had anything to say and instead of spewing negativity, I said some kind words about my ex and his now steady job. I left it at that. I “listened” to God by choosing to do something different. It was a huge step out of my comfort zone.
    Love will find you. Being proud of all you have going on and deciding to be OK with that will give you a heightened sense of confidence. You could be grocery shopping one day, knock over a display case and the man that stops to help you clean up could be your future husband.
    So if that happens, pay attention. 🙂 talk to a man you normally wouldn’t talk to. Do something you aren’t totally used to. You may feel better for it. Or gain another experience.
    One other thing, speaking from personal experience, my current husband and I had little to no chemistry initially. It grew with time. Don’t look for sparks initially. You may find that you build a love and respect for someone which will ignite sparks later on.
    Good luck to you!! Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi friend, wow what a powerful testimony. you go rth! 🙂 and thanks for the beautiful encouragement. I do trust that love will find me. remind me to wear something cute to the grocery store 🙂 hehe seriously though, that’s great advice. sending hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome. I love your writing. I agree. That settling business crosses into many of life’s lessons… Sometimes it’s hard NOT to go with the flow, but sometimes it’s so worth it!

        Good luck with your “the one”.

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  25. I don’t have “the guy” yet either. But I have come to the conclusion that God is still working on me to make me the better mate for the person that He has in mind for me. I want to be in a relationship, but I want to be in the right relationship. I’ve had far too many of the wrong ones in my 35 years. Love will come to you when God is ready for you to meet “him”.

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  27. I’ve been learning this for almost 8 years and the majority of the time I’ve learned because the girls I dated always dumped me for someone better. Enter depression Yada Yada yada…I always knew God was telling me to put my hope and satisfaction in Him but I JUST HAD to have a girlfriend. Fast forward to my senior year, I feel content, blessed, and then God places the most amazing woman in my life. Guess what…I put all of my hope in her…let’s just say problems problems everywhere. We’re still together but we’re having to grow the hard way. God wants my priority. He wants my attention. He wants my focus. He knows that he is the best thing for me, not an amazing beautiful woman who loves me and cherishes me. I’m stubborn but he’s faithful

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    1. Hi Matthew, thank you for sharing this. I think you’re right: God wants us to depend on Him and place our hope in Him. which is hard to do. I’ll definitely keep you and your gf in my prayers. it’s obvious that you care deeply about her. That goes a long way 🙂 thanks for reading! hugs and love xox

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  29. I’ve heard it said that when God says no, he has something better for us in mind. Maybe the same goes for you (and me too). Love this post, and thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. 🙂

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  30. I’d say you put this heart into this post and your hopes, prayers and frustrations with your life so far. My thought is that God is there for all of us who seek, women and men alike. I wouldn’t rule out the possibility that some men have asked God for the same blessing, and the effort doesn’t all have to be on your part. Please be open to the possibility that a man may find you, having been guided by God. On the other hand, you have been right, in my opinion to do what the Apostle John says in his first First Letter: “[T]est the spirits to see whether they are from God. . .}.
    For what it’s worth, I believe you are paying attention to the right words and signs. May God grant you all that is good for you. Rich XOX

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    1. Thank you so much Rich, that really means a lot. It’s super hard to trust God and be patient, especially when your heart is involved. But i believe it will all pay off. Thanks for taking the time to read and sharing this great insight! hugs and love oxox

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  31. I get such an odd kick out of your posts :). They’re like being invited to a young person’s party because I’m just that cool & enjoyable to be around – ROFL. Okay. Being serious now. I’m old enough I’m supposed to know these answers …

    First, you’re right, God has this. Good call. Second, don’t over-analyze or you’ll spend your whole life doing nothing but analyzing. Third, digest your decisions & listen to your gut, to your instincts, to what the Spirit inside is telling you. (I’d underline & bold that if I could.) My gut is/would’ve been right 99.9% of the time. Unfortunately I spent a lot of time & agony going through bookoo crap learning how I should’ve followed mine, so hopefully I’m impressing upon you what a necessary & indispensable shortcut that is. Psssst, woman to woman, he’ll probably be the least one you suspect when you meet him :).

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    1. haha thanks! I’m so glad! 🙂 🙂 🙂 And thank you for this great wisdom. Seriously, it means so much and you really spoke to my heart. God DOES have it all under control. And amen to the analyzing! I’m always telling my friends not to over analyze, and yet…here I am doing the same thing! And yes yes yes! I do believe that God has sent us an Advocate and Guide in the HS, and I just have to listen. you are so great! thank you friend! hugs and love xox

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  32. It is one thing to know that God is working in you both to will and to do for the sake of His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). It is quite possibly one of the most difficult things to do as a Christian, which is to acknowledge that at all times. We all fail in that regard, but that is also why He sovereignly willed to give us fellowship with one another, pointing each other to Him who is our peace and rest.

    Know that in His own time, God will Himself bring someone to you which will make all the wait worth while. After all, Christ wasn’t revealed to the apostle Paul until he was in his 40’s. But it was all in God’s time.

    My wife and I met at work and were really good friends for a few years, and we had no romantic inklings toward each other. One night, going on a blind date, it ended epically and hilariously bad. In the course of discussing that with her, lo and behold, the Lord revealed my bride to me. I did not expect it, nor was I even looking in her direction. But that night we realized the start of what has been a wonderful, challenging and exciting 14 years.

    So hang in there, keep your chin up and, most important, keep praising the Lord! As another commenter said, “He is faithful!”

    Lastly, thanks for stopping by my blog! I noticed yours as a result and I appreciate this blog. Being a heavier fella, I dealt with a bit of my own demons with the body image thing. As my daughters grow older, I may use this along with my own experiences for any worries or concerns they have. Thank you for that! God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi friend! Thank you for much for this response! You’re so right. That’s why community is so important. And yes, I need to trust in His timing. Easier said than done! Thanks for the encouragement! Sending hugs and love xox

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  33. Excellent thoughts as always.

    God often reaches me through my favorite music. Specifically, Weezer. If Rivers Cuomo is not a Christian in the official sense of the word, he sure seems in tune with God in every other way.

    I needed to hear “The Angel and the One” this afternoon after visiting my grandfather’s burial site at Jefferson Barracks Cemetery. It just so happened to be playing–the song I needed to hear, out of six CDs in my car’s changer.

    I often feel that Rivers is singing to me when I listen to Weezer, and whether that’s delusional or not, it seems harmless. Anyway, his words hit me like a ton of bricks; I cried so hard I had to pull the car over for a minute.

    “…I’m reaching out my hand, so take it. We are the angels, and we are the ones that are praying. Peace, shalom.”

    Rock on,

    Stephen

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thanks. I needed that. One can feel very lonely when following (or trying to follow) Christ.

        I don’t want to overshare, but let me say that Lucifer almost talked me into making a large mistake today, and my angels came to my rescue (again).

        Please continue being strong and courageous. Your writing inspires–that is to say, your words breathe air into the lungs of others. Like mine.

        Keep it up, buttercup.

        Like

  34. Hi friend!

    This is my first post of yours to read (I just followed you yesterday), and what a pleasure it has been to get to know about your life! 🙂

    Couple of things:
    1. You’re right! The Lord is speaking!
    Here’s what helps me know His voice:

    Be still.
    Spend time in worship (remind yourself who He is).
    Spend some time in the Word (remind yourself how He sounds and what He says about you)
    Start writing. Journal everything that comes to mind and ask the Lord to speak through your thoughts. A lot of times, the Lord guides my thoughts to be what He’s thinking!

    To test it, check it with the character of God (the Bible), circumstance, and peace. God’s word to you will never conflict with His character or the Bible. God is not mean or snotty or anything. He’s sweet, and He loves you.

    2. Right again! The Lord has a great plan for your relationships.

    Keep being faithful and focusing on Him first. You don’t want all these guys if they aren’t pursuing the Lord, so pursue God if that’s the kind of guy you want.
    I totally understand hating the waiting. It stinks. Try to guard your heart by not daydreaming about guys and do something else. Spend time loving on Jesus or your friends and family. When that guy comes in to your life, he will respect and love you, and you’ll have peace.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi and welcome! Thank you so much for the follow, Carlye! and thanks for this beautiful encouragement. I love how you said to remind myself who He is. So true. He is loving, and my Father and wants to give me a good man. What a comfort. You’ve given me such kindness in your words tonight! thank you so much 🙂 big big hugs to you friend! thanks for reading! xox

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  35. Totally loved this. When Liz and I met it was totally unplanned. My situation was not ideal…and she was 5 years older than me. Yes, I liked her so much I lied about my age (long story). Buuuuutttt…. after 27 years of being “significant other” to each other, and 25 years of marriage we’re an extremely happy couple. In fact, now that it seems we’re entering the Fall Season of our lives, we’re happier than ever.

    When the time comes…God will send you to the right man. But he might be as perfect as you’d like him to be. Perhaps, your imperfections will be complementarian, and together, you will become a better version of yourselves.

    Love your blog and support. God bless!!

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  36. Your writing is as honest, forthright, and brave as ever. I’m feeling pangs in my heart for you. It sounds like an emotionally trying and gut-wrenching weekend. I can imagine the conversation that you had with your mom, because I’ve had similar conversations with friends, family members, colleagues, my spiritual director, and my therapist. The topic wasn’t love, but it was, “When is God going to show me what to do with my life?! What if I’m missing the message? What if he asks me to do something that is really hard and painful? How long am I going to have to wait? When is my life going to mean something???!!!” Discernment. Grrrrrr.

    When I am feeling frustrated, anxious, impatient, conflicted, and confused, a few things help. The words of St Francis de Sales are always a comfort. He has so many wonderful things to say about discernment, patience, and maintaining inner peace. The Holy Spirit works best when our spirits are at peace. Right… like you, I’m always in motion. Meditative prayer is my other great comfort. The rosary, the chaplet of divine mercy, and simple adoration in front of the blessed sacrament always help me to quiet the noise and allow me to open my ears and my heart to God’s gentle whisper. Nonetheless, it’s still a work in progress.

    Keeping you in my prayers! Xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Lulu, thank you so much for this beautiful encouragement. You’re so right — discerning is so stinkin hard! But you have some really terrific suggestions. I agree, adoration is really a special time where the Lord is present. And I’ll have to look of St. Francis de Sales. I am not familiar with his words. But if they get the Lulu stamp of approval, you KNOW i’ll be checking it out 🙂 🙂 thank you so much for being such a great friend, Lulu! Sending big big hugs! and thanks for the prayers too. You’re in mine as well! happy thursday! hugs and love xox

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  37. I used to teach business classes. Some are about process. I started every week by telling everyone to “…check your brains at the door. No thinking allowed in this class. Let the process do the thinking for you. If you think, you fail.”

    A bit like faith, isn’t it? Let the human engine that God created do it’s thing. Have faith that everything will be as He intended. Don’t think. Just let His plans unfold. Have the faith to keep moving through the process. That’s life. Be open to the life God returned to you after so much hurt. Don’t worry over being ready. God knows when you are better than you ever will.

    Let God do the thinking. Just keep your hands inside the stroller as He pushes you along. He’ll give you the candy when He knows it’s time.

    And that’s about enough analogies for one evening. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Jeffrey! oh wow, YES that IS like faith! my goodness. I think that is such great advice: just let His plans unfold. Now if I could only be patient….:) haha and what a great image:) I love the analogies! Keep em coming!! I’m always a big fan of a good pun or analogy 🙂 have a great night, friend! thanks as always for knowing just what to say 🙂

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  38. I enjoyed reading your post and definitely feel guilty for not reading more of them.

    The question of listening God’s voice is well treated in a book by Blackaby ( Henry and Richard Blackaby. 2002. Hearing God’s Voice. Nashville: Broadman and Holman Publishers.) which I thought that I had already reviewed, but apparently not on my blog. I did review one of his more recent books (http://wp.me/p3Xeut-LC) on the seasons of life.

    Generally, the advice given for hearing God voice is to slow down, turn off all electronic devices, and pray. My best prayer time is while I am swimming laps because I am free of interruptions and am fully present. A centering prayer (for me, Psalm 8) is also helpful in getting other voices out of my head. Journeying is also helpful in emptying and centering.

    If I catch the drift in your writing, your concern is generally focused on vocation and relationships. While, years of patience and preparation may be required, the answer that God often gives may also be right in front of you. What are your passions? What are your gifts? God gave you those things for a reason.

    Keep searching!

    Stephen.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Stephen! Thank you so much for this reflection! What great advice: slow down. Easier said than done, but I think I definitely need to work on that and make it a priority. Perhaps that means waking up 30 minutes earlier. And thanks for that – I’ll have to check out Psalm 8. Thanks for giving me some great things to think about! sending hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re most welcome!! He’s so inspiring, I hope his message helps!! I’m glad I stopped by too, oh and I’ll be back! 😉 xo

        Like

  40. God is totally directing you. Where and to which guy? I do not know. I know God did much the same for me. He kept you from falling and helped you rise from the darkness. He helps us. He doesn’t do things for us, as some think. He puts things out there for us to make choices. He helped you find your inner and outer beauty again, and now he’s directing your toward a love but it may not be all that clear right now. But don’t give up hope. Will it be one of these guys? I don’t know. Just know that you are beautiful and shouldn’t settle for anything that doesn’t feel right. What is right will come.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey there friend! Thank you so much for this encouragement. I think you’re so right. He is totally directing me towards a love. And i definitely won’t give up. I will trust and have faith that His plan is good and in His perfect timing. Thanks again for the words of kindness and hope. hugs and love xox

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  41. I highly recommend checking out musician Marie Miller’s single, “6’2″… I think it will resonate with you (on my smartphone it pulls up as 6-2). It’s about her prayers for “Mr. Right,” and how she starts with a specific list, and by the end of the song, she is just willing to allow His plan to be put into play. 😃

    Also, I haven’t had much time for Adoration in the past year or so, but when I am struggling to hear Him, and when I am missing His voice, I make time for Adoration. I needed Him this weekend, and sought solace in the Blessed Sacrament Chapel, and it really was what my soul needed. Take time for Him at the altar, and being in NYC, I know you should have several Perpetual Adoration chapels in the city!!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi friend! Thank you so much for this encouragement. I’ll definitely give it a listen! I love being inspired by music. so powerful. Oh yes, there are definitely many perpetual adoration chapels to chose from! i agree, nothing like spending time with Jesus. thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox

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  42. Loved this post. I am a lot younger than you, but I have struggled a lot with the fear of what will happen with my own love life. I don’t mean to sound eager for something to happen, I just mean that I let my anxiety get the best of me too often about this subject. I find myself wondering if he, the one God made for me, is already a part of my past. Did I let him slip away when I was careless and distrustful in God? Did I travel down the wrong path and leave the man of my dreams on the other? I ask myself these questions too often and I want to thank you for this post. This past weekend must have been something crazy – but it reminded me to just chill about this whole love life thing. Thanks a bunch and I hope you have a more restful weekend coming soon 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Elizabeth! Thank you so much for this encouraging note. Yeah, it is so hard to have patience and trust that He will not leave us high and dry. I definitely have to work on that. I think the best thing I ever heard was that it is impossible to miss “him” because God already has “him” picked out. So i guess we’ve just gotta sit back and let Him do His thing! thanks for reading and for this great perspective! hugs and love xox

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  44. Hello dear sister! It’s deanna. You may just want to bop me on the head for this suggestion, then again, it might end up being what you’ve truly been hoping for… Ready? I thought not! Ok. Close your eyes, take some deep breaths focusing on exhaling, and then consider this: how about relinquishing writing these (beautiful!) blogs for a while and spend the time ordinarily spent thinking about them and writing them (and responding to all our comments 😊) with the Lover of your soul instead. 💞 ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Deanna! this is some great advice. truly. no bopping here:) hehe but you’re right. i think that I need to make some quiet time more of a priority in my life. And it’s funny because when I’m writing on here, I really do feel like it is a spiritual activity for me, but you’re right I need to just sit with God. Quietly. Purposefully. Maybe that’s waking up an hour earlier or putting down the phone more throughout the day. But you’ve given something big to think about. thank you for that! hugs and love xox

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  46. You have written another insightful post as usual 🙂 I always have a hunch that no matter what one wants at a current moment, God will grant them something better in the future. I can not say for sure If this is fact, but based on what we experience in our own lifetimes, I always have a hunch that that superior moment God will grant us will happen sometime 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi there John! Thank you so much! I agree – God delights in giving the best to His children. I will trust that and just learn to be patient in the meantime. Thanks for reading and for your encouragement! hugs and love xox

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  47. Way to go! Taking the time to listen and really see the signs as to who is good for you and who isn’t is amazing. There will be someone out there, but there is always the opportunity to get in touch with yourself!

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  49. Hey!
    There is no easy answer on how to be still especially in this day and age.
    There are simply too many distractions!
    But we need God’s voice and He won’t accept, “there are too many distractions”. By saying that we have decided who is more important.

    So simply said but the hardest thing to put into action, cut down on all those other things to make time to listen. Do all those “things” control you or do you have control?
    The best way to answer that question is by asking yourself if you can go even a week without those things. If the answer is no, then they control you.

    If we truly want to seek His voice and spend more time with Him we must do the hard things, we must make the sacrifice.
    Our love for God is measured by what we are willing to surrender.
    I am talking to you but I am also talking to myself cause I am going throught the same thing and these are the things I was shown.

    I hope that answers your question.

    Bless you friend….

    Rolain

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Rolain! Thank you so much for your comment. You’re right-so many distractions! Definitely a lot to think about. I need to work on surrendering the noise! Thanks for this perspective! Sending hugs and love xox

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  50. Hi. Really loved the way you write. finding humor in our low times, is what all need. I say, just go with the flow while God is guiding you. Love comes when you are not “consciously” looking too much into it. Let yourself loose, and love will find you 🙂

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