Body Positivity Week???

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Well, in case you didn’t know, it’s “Body Positivity Week.”

Yep, thanks to BuzzFeed, we’re being bombarded with full-frontal content about Forget-You-I-Love-My-Curves, and NGAFudge-ing about what anyone thinks about our cellulite, and Dag-Nabit I’m wearing a bikini if I want to, and how dare you body shame me.

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It’s actually kind of ironic how it’s Body POSITIVITY Week, and yet so many of the articles have an acoustically negative skew.

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Granted, not all…but I spent a good 45 minutes parusing the articles, — because, hey…this is sorta my wheelhouse — and I maaaaybe came across two articles that I actually could get behind.

Now, I know this may seem a little “off-brand” for me to not be all gung-ho about a week that, from the surface, is about loving yourself and your body and embracing your beauty.

And, absolutely, I am obviously on board for all of those things.

But, I’ve got to be honest. I’m personally not on the “BoPo” train.

And this is coming from a girl who will regularly spontaneously turn on some Selena Gomez’s Hands to Myself, or Arianna Grande’s Dangerous Woman and have an all out dance party in my apartment. Sometimes in costume.

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So, I get it. It’s important to love yourself.

But body positivity…

This is a topic where things get…complicated.

You see, recovering from anorexia is something that you almost cannot put into words.

First, mentally – it is a life long battle. The sheer abhorrence of self that led to the symptoms of anorexia (i.e.: the weight loss) must be overcome in order to fully recover. So for starters, you have to silence the voice of ED in your head that is constantly tearing you down with insults that would make an inmate blush.


But then, there’s the physical.

Going from 78 pounds to a healthy weight — the changes your body makes are so, just, inexplicable. You would think that the things like, filling out your jeans or not being gaunt and skeletal, would be the biggest things you notice. But in fact, that’s not the case. Things like, squeezing your hand into a ball and feeling more flesh on your knuckles. Walking barefoot and not feeling your heel bones ache against the tile. Making a facial expression and not feeling your skin tighten because it was stretched so thin. These were the types of changes that I would fixate on.

I had literally scrutinized every centimeter of my body. So believe me when I say that I knew the changes that were going on in my body.

But back to body positivity.

Knowing these changes I was going through, one would think that body positivity was how I got through it. That by falling in love with my new and healthy body was how I overcame the disease.

Well…That could not be farther from the truth.

And unpopular opinion alert: body positivity was not even on my radar at all. 

Eventually, did I learn to love and accept my body? Sure – it’s still a journey, but I’m getting there.


But how I did it, was that I stopped focusing on my body at all.

That’s the thing about Body Positivity Week — it’s still focusing on our physical bodies. Obsessing over how much we love the imperfections and curves and “handfuls of lovin'” at one spot or another.

OK. That’s great.

But the way I learned to love my body was to stop focusing on my body.


I had to stop scrutinizing every 0.2 ounces that fluctuated on the scale. Stop meticulously surveying how this or that looked today. How something had changed, or grown, or gotten _____er or ______er overnight. Stop comparing my body, even in a healthy mindset, to other friends, family members, models, actors, people on the street. I had to just stop focusing on it.

I had to stop seeing myself through my distorted and irrational eyes.

I had to see myself through God’s eyes.

I had to see myself through the eyes of my Creator, who loves me unconditionally. And, even though I have done all of this crap, when He sees me, sees only a precious daughter, who has value and worth, just for being His.


His love for me could be classified as radical.

Radical: affecting the fundamental nature of something.

My fundamental nature was that I was broken. And spoiler alert, we all are in one way or another.

But I was broken. I had lied, manipulated people, destroyed my body purposefully, hated myself, was angry, selfish, self-centered.

God loved me despite all of those things. His love was radical. It changed me. Changed my fundamental nature. It took what was broken and made it new.

So in order to heal from my anorexia, I had to be radical with my body, too. And radically accept it.

And to do that, I had to stop focusing on it.

I kept my eyes on Him, not on the mirror.

I kept my thoughts on His love, His mercy, His forgiveness – not on how I feel about my body.


Do I celebrate my body every day? Yes.

Do I appreciate my health and life and recovered body every day? You bet your A.

But not because I want to say, “screw the media and its unhealthy standards of beauty.”

No.

I celebrate my body because I celebrate the soul that is in it.

The soul that was broken and then restored by a good and loving Father. That interior transformation is reflected in the outer transformation.

And that transformation comes from one source: Him.


So, sure. Body Positivity Week – it’s a nice sentiment. We should love and celebrate all shapes and sizes. That’s absolutely, 100% true.

But for me, it’s more than that. I don’t want to just celebrate my body. I want to celebrate He who restored my body. I want to celebrate the transformation He facilitated — mind, spirit, and yes…body.

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

271 thoughts on “Body Positivity Week???”

  1. I still battle with this daily it CAn wear you down if you let it. After being through marriage for 4 years of feeling unwanted as my husband was addicted to porn I’m learning how to recover through God for the past year and a half since he has become free

    Liked by 1 person

      2. Good article but from someone who has been there… I never wanted to have the disorder I never wanted control of my body I never wanted to loose weight I was in a set of depression and as I had let my self eat very little through that week and I choose to start eating again physically my body had become used to my “new” way of eating and it became harder and harder to eat because my stomach did not want to take it fear was my biggest enemy cause as soon as I would have that pizza in hand I would end up getting nauseous from the feeling fear of getting sick eating it. I know it was crazy and I really had to focus on wanting to do the right thing and know my body was not going to be in good shape if I let fear control.
        Telling a fellow Christian their body is their temple is a good stepping stone but I want to remind people it’s harder than it may look their is a physical and psychological side to it. God can get us through it but it is not an easy road.

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      3. Hi again friend, thank you for this powerful perspective. You’re right, every person in on their own journey. And we all struggle with different things. And you’re right, God can get us through it, but we have to do the dirty work too. It’s a team effort. I’m so glad you’re in the freedom of recovery from ED. praise God for that. Hugs and love my friend xox

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  3. Oddly enough not so much for me. In order to sleep I have a myriad of things needed plus pain and upcoming surgeries. I can’t train in the cold and have family issues galore. Too much to explain. I can try to do what I can.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi friend! I’m sorry you’re experiencing pain. I hope you feel better soon! I agree though – I always sleep better if I’ve been able to have a workout that day. Otherwise I can feel a little restless when I’m falling asleep. Sending hugs and love! and thanks again for the reblog xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I’ve been always afraid of falling under “anorexic” or “mental disorder” line when trying to lose weight, The frustration is quite dangerous cuz it leads to depressive mood n than self-hatred. I’m just lucky my emotions are still controllable n I love myself as long as I work hard. Like your article, as a reminder to stay positive. It’s always a tough journey

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Loving your body is a long journey, but every step counts. Glad you’re on your way to better health. Sometimes, it’s easy to fall back. I’ve been in your shoes before too, and I’m still learning to love myself no matter what.
    Thanks for stopping by my blog!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. This was just what I needed! While I have never struggled with anorexia, I have focused on my body way too much in the last few years as I have fluctuated in weight since having 3 beautiful children. I focus more on that sometimes when I look in the mirror, than the soul within and all God has done. Continue to share your story and journey because you reach more people than you know!! God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi friend! oh my goodness what encouraging words. Thank you so much. You’re so right – focusing on the fact that God has formed us and is working in us is definitely the way to go! hope you have a beautiful weekend! hugs and love xox

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  10. Thank you so much for sharing your journey and your struggles. It’s really inspiring. And I appreciate the chance to know more about something I haven’t personally experienced.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. This was such an excellent read and always a great reminder for us to be kind to our body’s, be kind to our minds, and most all our souls. I’m really sorry you had to to see the things you went through. But by gods grace I was so happy to see that you took back control. This is what I loved about this article, because it is about making a change, changing our behavior, and really caring for ourself. Loving what God gave us and making it become our best self. If we really want change than yes we have to take the step to make it. Thank you for sharing this so wonderful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi friend! wow what a beautiful reflection. Thank you for this. you’re right – what we have is a gift from God. And that is worth celebrating and loving. And it deserves to be cared for. thanks for stopping by! hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS! I will admit that I have not experienced a severe form of Anorexia, but deciding to focus on The Lord and the ways He makes me beautiful instead of my physical body itself… You hit the nail on the head!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Claire! Aw, this really touched my heart 🙂 You’re right — He DOES make us beautiful. Praise God for that. Thanks for bringing a smile to my face:) hugs and love xox

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  13. “I had to stop seeing myself through my distorted and irrational eyes.” This is truly profound. Any time someone can explain the reality of an experience that is contrary to popular belief, I have to step back and applaud. Thank you for explaining this struggle!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this. I’m so glad that you like my blog and it resonates with you! You’re right- we’re all on different paths but it’s always nice to find encouragement along the way. Thanks for reading! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Yes yes yes YES!!!!! Oh my goodness! Somehow you managed to put into words what always seems to bother me about all these messages in the media. I find it disheartening whenever I read another article/tweet/post, etc. that demonstrates just another all-or-nothing viewpoint, one that attacks or tears down others, or fails to appreciate the full scope and depth of the intertwining problems of health, body image, eating, community relationships, family relationships… I could go on and on. And nowhere in the conversation is faith or God or actual love. The turning point in my recovery was when I threw out my scales, threw out or papered over all my mirrors, and boxed up all my clothes. Ignoring my body and focusing on who I am apart from my body, who God made me to be in this world, who I am in the heart he created for me, was what allowed my heart to heal. I never put all of this together before. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Lulu! Thank you so much for this powerful comment! I am standing and cheering after reading this my friend. Wow. Focusing on “who I am in the heart he created me for” — amen amen amen. That is so powerful and true and just YES! keep rockin friend:) you are awesome. Hugs and love xox

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  19. Aramaic Bible in Plain English 2 Cor 5:16
    Now therefore, we do not know a person by the body, and if we have known The Messiah in the body, from now on we do not even know him so.

    You are so right on again. We are a culture obsessed by the body, and we so easily forget how much more important the soul and spirit is. I quoted the Aramaic translation of 2 Cor 5:16 cuz it cuts to the chase. What Jesus looks like is irrelevant,
    If that is true ,then how important is what you or I look like, really. Knowing Him is not about visions of His eyes or face, the beatific vision, but rather knowing Him in His suffering , in His values, In His will for our lives.
    BTW thank you for allowing me to repost your blogs.
    affectionately in Christ
    Jack

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I think this goes back to sheep: the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. I am genetically thin. Many times people has made comments about wanting my metabolism or platelets, thinking that this would resolve their girth-body image issues. I warn them. First, plan to wake up and be ready to go at 5 a.m. regardless of the day of the week. Don’t plan to sit still very often. Find a job/career and leisure interest that allow you to be ocnstantly moving. And, plan to “feed the beast”, as those between meal (healthy) snacks keep the tank from running low on fuel. That eliminates most of those who want to sleep in until 11 a.m. on weekends, put their feet up to watch TV, or some other sedentary tasks, or nash on processed foods.

    You are correct. We should celebrate all shapes and sizes, and recognize the transformation from unhealthy physical lifestyles to healthy one.

    BTW, 5/13/16 was National Blame Someone Else Day, so I was told. 🙂
    Oscar

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Oscar! Thanks for sharing this. Wow it sounds like you live a pretty active lifestyle! That’s great. You’re right- we should absolutely celebrate all shapes and sizes. So glad you stopped by. Hugs and love xox

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      1. The other day, a co-worker (physical therapist) was talking with a client about the value of being active, especially when someone retires. I happen to be between clients & was moving about the clinic setting up equipment for the next client. As I walked by, I joked, “Oh, are you telling me that I need to be more active?”. His client joked back, “He has sat still since I walked in…” Time for another power bar… 🙂
        Oscar

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  22. It’s inspirational that you focus on God and not on the challenging condition that could cripple you. Your words are helping me. I am not anorexic or have any physical disease or disorder, I am challenged by a mental disorder. Your choosing to look to our Savior is totally cool. There is strength in our weakness. His strength. Thank you for reminding me of that.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Hello! Firstly, thanks for the couple of likes you’ve sent my way recently – much appreciated! 🙂 Secondly, thanks for this most important contribution to the issue of “body awareness” – your stepping aside from conventional thinking and seeing the problematic aspects of “Body Positivity Week” are both wise and insightful. Probably unpopular – but, then, prophetic and truthful words are rarely popular. So go well and gently, in grace. PS: I feel a bit awkward not knowing what handle/usename you go by; but understand if there are very good reasons for this. And, besides, a simple hello is an underrated way of beginning a conversation. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this comment:) that really means a lot. Hah no worries at all! So I haven’t shared my identity – perhaps one day in the future but for now, I’m just going by BBB. Thank you for asking though. And yes! The beginning of a conversation and friendship☺️ so glad you stopped by! Hugs and love xox

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  25. I’m glad someone else spotted the Buzzfeed body positivity week – it was really interesting to see not just women but men as well being included. I agree that not focusing on your body does help you to live a happy and healthy life but body positivity isn’t about just the individual, it’s about a collective of people saying we’re not going to allow what other people think to stop us from living our lives fully 🙂

    I really appreciate you sharing your story!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Also, the first picture with the dragon fruit was, cute. Do you think it’s a bit harder to see the big picture and keeping faith? Mother Teresa talked of a darkness when her efforts were unmet against general society that the greater good is not always, good.

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      2. Thank you so much 🙂 It is hard to keep the faith, especially in NYC, but I just have to keep my eyes focused on Him. With Him anything is possible. hugs and love xox

        Like

  27. What a brilliant and timely post. Thank you very much. Blessed be for giving us hope in recovery. Wishing you all the best for your beautiful and bright future

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  28. Applause!!!!! Well thought-out and beautifully written, so so good! I have a personal question for you: How did you change your mind’s focus? I have a step-daughter with mental illness who takes her meds and sees her psychologist regularly and processes her thoughts with us but just can’t seem to stop or change how her mind focuses on herself and her troublesome thoughts all the time. At this point I’m thinking it will take a powerful work of God but any suggestions are appreciated!! Thanks

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much Joan! That really means a lot:) oh gosh it was a long process. I couldn’t just stop thinking one way-I instead had to flood my mind with good thoughts- focusing on God and his love. That way I didn’t have room to think about anything destructive. Praying for your daughter xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you! That helps; it has been a long time since I worked hard at renewing my mind. That sounds kind of bad, but it really isn’t! I went through many years of intense recovery and now mostly focus on the positive and on helping others more naturally. It’s easy to forget how much it took and how I did it, and it was hard enough with a normally functioning brain!

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  29. Absolutely love this post. Awhile back I struggled so much with my body. I always seemed to compare myself to my thinner friends and family. I always resented them for being able to eat and not gain weight… My whole life I was chubby, being made fun of in school never helped the situation. I even fell into anorexia “to lose weight.” I found myself with an eating disorder while I was dating this guy, because I never felt secure and attractive with him. I was at the lowest weight I’ve been in a long time. (Unhealthy way) That relationship was before I gave my life to Christ. But then after I started gaining excess weight and had a hard time controling it, until before I got married. I’ve been eating healthier, getting in more exercise and I can proudly say I’m down almost 15 pounds. Closer to my goal weight. 🙂 Your posts are inspiring. I enjoy reading them.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much, Stephanie, for sharing this. I’m so happy for you that you’re getting to where you want to be! I’m sorry that we have that similarity in our pasts, but praise God that we’ve both found that freedom! God is good! Thanks for stopping by! sending love and hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  30. I love how real you are with everyone. We need to share our struggles and encourage and support one another. I have never been anorexic, but I have been on the heavy side because food was my comfort. I didn’t necessarily choose unhealthy food, but I ate too much of it. Nuts are good for you…in a small portion…not the whole can. I am working on portion control right now. I am counting my calories and eating basically 6 small meals a day, or 3 meals with 3 snacks. I have lost about 10 lbs over the last 2 months. I am not loosing weight because I have a body image issue, but because I have a hip and knee issue. I was beginning to hurt most of the time. I want to feel good. My biggest issue right now is to find comfort else where. I thank Jesus for helping me with this. Going to him daily with it and praying when my body wants to eat, but it isn’t time, has been what has brought me success. Each day we are given choices that can affect us tremendously. Lean on Him and His understanding, let Him lead you, and He will make your path straight.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Great read, I suffered with bulimia for a large part of my life and I’m still not recovered. But it’s so true, I try not to focus on my body at all…HARD…but it makes sense. Keep it up!

    Liked by 1 person

  33. The part about the SOUL is worth an applause. That part must be become new in order for TRUE change to happen and remain. Good word.

    Liked by 1 person

  36. This is solid, solid stuff. I am SO encouraged to hear that your recovery was not based on some sort of self-glorifying, “bopo” (as you say) mentality that the world uses as a band-aid to cover up the underlying issue of our depraved nature. Thank you for your testimony, and I pray that God in His great mercy will deliver you from this trial.

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    1. Thank you so much Lily! That really means a lot. God is good and I am so grateful for the healing He’s done in my life. I appreciate you kind words and prayers! Sending big hugs and love xox

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  38. This was a really inspirational post. You shared some wisdom that applies to all of us, no matter how “brokenness” manifests in our lives. “I had to see myself through God’s eyes” really nailed it.

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  39. Wow. This is such a powerful post. I am grateful to GOD for sending you to minister to girls out there. When I was 14, I struggled a bit with accepting my body. I wasn’t eating enough, and I always thought I was imperfect. But, just as you said, I started to see myself through GOD’s Eyes, and that was how I was delivered.

    #BodyPositivityWeek

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  41. I enjoy reading your posts and appreciate your insightful content and fun style. Thanks for doing what you do with excellence. And thanks too for reading and taking the time to like my blog, “The Way Home.” – Shayne

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  43. Reblogged this on voguevida and commented:
    Really touching post about body positivity, this is why I started my blog to help girls/woman wordwide wakeup to their incredible natural beauty and amazing body. There is far too much negativity in the media about body shape.

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  44. Thank you for this great blog. It’s important not to judge lest you be judged. Helping one another for all the right reasons, finding out the “why” and helping the hurting is the foundation for integrity. The world is a much nicer place with you in it! Keep the courage and stay strong.

    Like

  48. Hello hello! Awesome post, followed 🙂

    We’re challenging ourselves to 1 full year of daily blogging, we’re almost there. Loved what you wrote, glad to see other positive people on here. Keep up the good work!!

    Like

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