Big Announcement

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I had a really interesting experience last night.

In case you haven’t heard, NYC is smack dab in the middle of a full on heat wave.

Like, it is H.O.T.

Not even the shade Kimye has been throwing Taylor Swift recently could cool things off in the concrete jungle.

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It’s sticky. Muggy. And humid. With no relief in sight.

And that means only one thing:

It’s time to get crazy. 😉

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But for real though, bring on the frozen margs. 🙂

So in true Manhattan fashion, my friends threw a rooftop party last night, because, apparently masochism is a thing now.

JK JK, it was actually quite pleasant, once you came to terms with the fact that you weren’t leaving without sweat stains and frizzy hair.

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But at this little soiree I ended up having a really interesting conversation with a guy I had just met.

Maybe it was the fact that I had drank 2 vodka/sodas, or the fact that the guy was happily married, so there was no pressure to impress him, but I basically ended up telling him my entire life story.

Now before I go on, let me just say three things: First, this is suuuuuper unlike me. I very rarely talk about myself. Especially not with people I have just met. Secondly, I don’t want to give you the impression that I had this guy cornered and was like, word vomiting all over this poor guy. He was the one driving the conversation and asking questions and keeping it rolling. And Thirdly, this was in no way a romantic/scandalous situation. Yes, he was married. No, he was not hitting on me. No, I was not flirting/trying to flirt with him. We were two young adults having a conversation.

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So back to the story:

I literally told him everything. (Minus the anorexia in my past). But I told him about my faith, about the year I was on bedrest from my Ulcerative Colitis, about my thoughts on the hookup dating culture, about politics (eek!) — I even told him about the year I was the president of my sorority in college. (I don’t even think I’ve written about that on here yet, but goodness gracious is that a doosey!)

Long story short, I really opened up to this young man.

And thinking back this morning about that evening, I was shocked with how transparent I was.

But there was something that he said to me at the end of the night that stuck with me.

He said, “Wow, you were definitely not how I expected you to be.”

And when he said this, I paused, and took it in, but I didn’t ask him to elaborate on it.

Because, the truth is, that’s not the first time someone has said that to me.

I can probably recall 10+ times when I’ve met someone, and they’ve told me at the end of the encounter, “I totally thought you were going to be a b*tch.”

And every time, I kind of half-laugh, and go…”Thank you?”

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But let’s face it: at first glance, you could probably make that snap judgment about me. Last night, I was wearing short shorts, wedges and a fashionable tank, while drinking a vodka soda.

I went through sorority recruitment. Believe me, I know how that reads.

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But, as with everyone, there is more than what meets the eye.

Looking back at that night, I am so grateful to that guy for allowing me to open up. That was a gift: Allowing me to share who I am. What I believe. What I’ve been through. And accepting me.

Showing who you are is really scary. And to have someone receive that without judgement or criticism – it’s really a beautiful and selfless thing.

And I think that’s why this whole blogging adventure has been so life-giving. The love and acceptance and support YOU have offered has touched my heart so much and been so healing, I can’t express the gratitude I have for you, reading this.

But as I’ve talked about in recent posts, I’m slowly coming to realize that who I am is okay.


My story does not make me unlovable.

My past is a part of who I am that has shaped who I am today. And I’m getting more and more comfortable sharing that with people.

In fact, I almost want to.

Which leads me to my announcement.

When I was home, I got an early birthday present. A camera.

And….

I can’t believe I’m about to type this…

But I think I’m finally ready, after a year and a half of blogging, to share who I am.

Because, I realize that that is the last and final step in the journey of self love.

When I can say that, Yes, I have all these broken pieces in my past, but I accept and love myself anyways. I am willing to take ownership of my history and the not-so-pretty parts of it, because that is not where my worth comes from. My worth comes from God making me, and Jesus dying for me. 


So…that camera…

I’m going to make a video, formally introducing myself. To you. Who, like this young man last night, have been so open and receptive to the bumbling, mess of a human I am.

I want you to know me. Because I’m finally ready to own up to all of me. All the gross, painful, and less-than-lovely parts of my past. God has forgiven me of all of it. And accepts and loves me just the same. It’s time I do too.


 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

317 thoughts on “Big Announcement”

  2. Yeah, so after reading all of the Oscar worthy comments regarding your post and revealing… I got nothing. They have said it all! Carry on and know that God will always walk with you on your journey 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  7. Hmm you were back in ny, had a party and didn’t invite me? I’ve been spending most of my time outdoors except the last four days. Tomorrow is close to 100. I have tests but I’m trying to get sun. Frozen margaritas sounded nice. I like the yards in many places as long as they’re made right.

    Liked by 3 people

      1. Thank you dear. I am definitely not myself most days. I got my most recent tests today and I am getting results shortly. I am sure I have diverticulitis and 2 tumors at least and next I may have to see an ENT doctor. But I think last weeks tests rule that out. I have to wait and see. I was a mess today doing bleachers to get sun and I could barely run a flight or do drills. I am hopeful despite bad things happening around me and with me. But I am still here.

        Liked by 2 people

    1. Hahha oh gosh great question! No your computer is not glitching! I’m in the process of figuring out my camera and making it! I just decided to announce it so I couldn’t chicken out and not post it. You know? Luke-it’s out there so I have to follow through now! Lol Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  11. Sending you SO Much LOVE!!! (((hugs))) I can’t wait to “meet” you! 🙂 I must say your blog is quite inspiring, and I appreciate the work and honesty you put in it. Your heart is open, and it’s a source of healing and inspiration to others. Keep it up love! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  13. We are all broken BBB but what makes you special is that you are helping others with your testimony. You are worthy and amazing. God bless you. x

    Liked by 3 people

  14. Hi BBB, I like the most when you say you dont elaborate his answer. I think this is the best part of you… And I do believe that, it’s okay if most of the time we become vulnerable, as long as we know the most important thing is; to be our own selves & walk our talk. 

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    1. Hi Laura! awwww you’re making me blush 🙂 hehe seriously though, thank you for this beautiful encouragement. You’ve made my heart all warm inside 🙂 hehe (((I’m such a nerd!!!))) lol sending big big hugs xox

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      3. No worries…. except here I am hoping someone may be curious and visit my blog. The blogosphere doesn’t necessarily embrace P.T. Barnum’s maxim, that there’s no such thing as bad publicity. (Insert eye-roll here) 🙂

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  21. I thinks it’s amazing how God can just take us as we are, fully knowing all the ugliness in our hearts; yet we constantly choose to remember and dwell on the past as something that keeps us filthy. We are made beautiful and new in Him. I too struggle with ‘me’ now and the ‘me’ of 10 years ago. Our past has shaped who we’ve become and though it’s not oretty it’s still a part of us. As always there’s so much to learn from your posts and your transparency. I can’t wait to see more of you!

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  22. One of the things I’ve loved about the midwest, having moved here from the deep deep south, is the cooler summers. Not so much right now! At times I go outside and feel like I am back home in the muggy Louisiana heat. Anyways, I’ve just started reading your blog but I am glad you are finding a space to be yourself. I could fill this comment with spiritual platitudes and verses but I am sure you know those. As you take this next step and make a video, stand in knowing that He who makes the water run is guiding you and making you new. He is the one who give you worth, value and beauty. As a side note, I wore 30′ Jenkos in H.S. with a chain wallet and had many many people make assumptions about who and what I was. I feel Ya. Thanks for sharing your journey.

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  24. Oh, BBB, I’ve got tears in my eyes! I’m so thrilled for you. God is so good. Honestly, I have wondered if you were one of the girls at SheSpeaks16 this past weekend, or if you’ll be at Declare this coming weekend, because you are so present in and among Christian bloggers. Christ in you, the hope of glory!

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    1. Aw thank you Teresa! You are so sweet. Thank you for your encouraging and kind words. Amen to that! God is so so good! Those events sound incredible. I would love and be honored to be hooked up with them! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Thank you for sharing. That is my goal with blogging as well (just started a few months ago), to just share who I really am as I make my way through life. I’m learning to fully accept my flaws as I evolve into what God wants me to be. Stay cool!

    Liked by 3 people

  26. You really are a thinker. The wisdom that comes from above. This scripture came right to mind after reading your blog. Colossians 1:27 For God wanted them to know that the riches and glory of Christ are for you Gentiles, too. And this is the secret: Christ lives in you. This gives you assurance of sharing his glory. ( NLT ) Sometimes we forget that we carry the Life Breather Himself and hold back because of our own weaknesses and fears. If I had heard what you did for work and where you live I would have conjured up an image of someone shallow and living on the approval of others. How wrong I would have been. Bad me. I really need to listen to what Jesus has to say about someone. I’m sure He is quite happy that you let Him out in your/his life. Bless you.

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  27. Thank you so much for sharing with us a bit of who you are, which is far more than just okay! You, my dear, are beautiful & a true inspiration! I have struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember, and after my mom died I found comfort in food, which is not healthy, and led to me gaining most of the weight that I lost early last year. So now I’m getting back on track, but it’s hard, and it’s something I don’t feel comfortable talking about because I’m so disgusted with myself, and I feel so ugly! But, I should put myself out there and welcome the support, just as you have! Thanks again, you truly are an inspiration!!

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  31. Sometimes we are given the opportunity to reveal our true selves in order to know that we are really alright. You are really all right even with your past. Anybody who chooses Jesus to be their Savior is all right! Everybody has a past, but they don’t have to be ashamed of it because Jesus has delivered us from our past. We are free in Jesus. Old things have passed away–behold all things have come new!

    Liked by 3 people

  33. Good post. The word that comes to me is, “Brave.” Some might say, “What’s the big deal?” But when self love is honestly addressed in the light of Jesus’ love, sharing your life with a cam is brave. Congrats!

    Liked by 2 people

  34. Great post 🙂 I am glad you are that you are starting to get comfortable accepting every aspect of your life positive and negative and past and present 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  35. Loved this! I was hoping you were going to say you shared your anorexia background. I’ve never opened up to anyone about that, let alone a complete stranger. But congrats and thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thanks friend 🙂 one day maybe I’ll work up to that. I’ve only shared that with two people who didn’t live through it with me. Those were scary conversations lol thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  36. I think people actually want others to be honest, open, and say what’s on your mind…not in a judgemental way or an Im on the Jesus team you’re on the sinner going to hell team sort of way either. Congratulations on the camera. Look forward to seeing what you do with it for your blog. 😀

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  37. What a beautiful moment, and so glad that you are accepting who you are and are willing to step out and share that with the world. Bless you ♥

    Liked by 2 people

  40. I applaud your courage and your transparency. It is so often difficult to take off our masks, and allow others to see what is behind them. Eventually, carrying around those masks becomes a burden almost as heavy as the ones that make you pick them up in the first place, because there are so many of them. Feeling frightened, put on the fearless face. Self consciousness or uncertainty are no problem. I have a cocky, self assured mask to cover those. Indifference covers shame pretty well. Hurt, that one is easy, nobody can see thru the well worn angry mask.

    Then you have all the partial masks, each one transparent in areas, but obscuring the whole. I want you to see this part of me, but hide another, so not only do you have a mask for each feeling, you start carrying masks for each person in your life.

    All things considered, it is pretty exhausting. Good for you for laying them down.

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  41. That’s funny! I think younger guys are quick to make that “I thought you’d be a bitch” snap judgement because they haven’t gone out of their way to talk to women who “look like bitches”. I used to think like that as well and then I took a job which required me to talk to everyone… not sales or anything… just shooting the breeze. I found that MOST people are actually pretty cool and just want someone to notice that they exist and to connect with. I’m not normally an outgoing person by any means so I don’t practice this much these days but the lesson stuck with me.

    The only women (and men) I think look like “bitches” these days are the ones who never smile and have some snippy negative crap to say to you whenever you try to talk to them. Actual bitches. 🙂

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  42. 🙂 I look forward to the video. I’m like that guy. At get-togethers, I usually end up talking with one person and prompting them to tell me their life story. Its usually a beautiful experience for me and nobody is ever who I imagined them to be.

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  44. Thank you for sharing this, I loved it! Sharing who you are with the world can be scary, I felt exactly the same writing my last post! I’ve only just begun my blogging life and it’s so inspiring to read other peoples stories, writing really does help to heal the soul! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  46. Reading this brought me so much joy, not because I’m excited to know who you are (I feel like I already do!), but because I am so happy for the freedom that it will bring you. He is so good!

    Liked by 1 person

  50. This was a fun post to read… It felt like the caterpillar had been in the cocoon long enough and the butterfly is about to be born. Looking forward to seeing you spread your wings. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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