Lessons from a 91 Year Old

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I’m going to say something and I really hope it doesn’t come off as insensitive….But…

Old people love me.

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Hear me out. First of all, I’m not talking about people who are 50 or 60…because hey…that’s young! I’m talking 90s. OLD. But I’m going to be honest, they flock to me. Drum up conversations like we’re Bunko buddies. I think it’s because I have an old soul, and they feel as though they’re conversing with a peer. Like they’re chattin’ it up with a fellow Red Hat Society member. I know…like I said…I’m a catch.

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But there I was, at the fish counter doing the grocery shopping for my parents, when this cute little old man with wirey hair and a big ol’ grin, came up to me and started talking to me. He advised me on how to cook salmon to perfection, complimented my hair, and then casually proceeded to tell me his life story.

And let me tell you, I love talking to the elderly, because I always leave with a little nugget of wisdom or a new perspective.

Anywho, he shared how he’s 91 years old and moved to the US from Germany at age 24 with “diddly squat.” [His words.] He fought in World War II for the Germans, and then flew 40 missions for the US against the Soviet Union.

He told me about how he was the first millionaire in his family, and has three Mercedes an a Porche — pronounced “Porsh-UH.” And how he buys stuffed tilapia every night because “his cat likes it,” and he shares it with her. And yes, he was talking about the animal. 🙂

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Now I’m gonna be honest, at first I was a little annoyed. I was in a hurry, and was doing something on my phone, and here comes this guy out of left field. I’m a New Yorker. Slower walkers and slow talkers are way up there on my pet peeve list. It’s right up there next to people who eat smelly takeout on the subway. Just. No.

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But listening to this stout, weathered old man, I couldn’t help but just love him. You could tell he was hungry for some conversation, and so gosh darn it, I could spare a few minutes.

But he said something to me that really stuck out to me. He looked me dead in the eye and said, “Go after the world, grab it, and run with it.”

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And that really hit me. Here was this 91 year old man telling me to grab the world? It just almost felt a little disconnected.

And I thought about it the whole way home and for a lot of the rest of the day. What could have prompted that jolly little cat man to tell me to grab the world and run with it. That’s not what someone of his…maturity…typically says. I mean, it had to come from somewhere. What in his life would have made him internalize and believe that?

And I thought about it and thought about it. And he had obviously seen a lot of death. Come close to it himself, probably – in all the wars he participated in.

Grab the world and run with it.

This, coming from a self made millionaire cat man, who rolls up to Kroger in a Porche.

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This man gave me that advice, because he had done that.

He had gone after the world. Literally. He left his family and friends and life in Germany, and moved to America with nothing. And he built a really good life for himself.

That was the world that he went after. And dagnabit, he did what he set out to do. So good on him.

It made me think…what is “the world” that I’m going after?

Really. It sounds like a simple question, but when I stop and think about it, what is it that makes me get up in the morning? What gives me purpose? Fulfills the longings of my heart.

And the more I thought about it, it’s not money or cars or the latest handbags or Kardashian whereabouts. Although, if that’s yours, then more power to ya.

I’ve learned more and more here these past three months after my mom’s stroke, that “my world” has changed. Ask me back in 2016 before all this happened, and I would have a drastically different answer…something along the lines of, acting career and fabulous outings with friends and loved ones, with faith coming in a distant third.

But today, I’m singing a different tune.

Today, “my world” is love. The love for my family. Love for my friends. And love for Jesus.

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Because when you’re sitting in a hospital room with an unconscious mother, you learn real fast what’s important to you.

Go after the world, grab it, and run with it.

Again, as has been the norm here recently, God’s timing is just impeccable. Because as I was relaying this story to my parents that evening, what comes in the mail? But a notification letter that I’ve been accepted into SAG – the Screen Actor’s Guild – the union for actors. Which, if you know anything about the entertainment industry, it’s a big deal. It’s what I’ve worked for six years for.

Here I am on the cusp of the “jump off point” of my life, and leave it to God to literally present me with two opposing “worlds” on the same day.

God, once again, you’ve outdone yourself. I’m chuckling at your sneakiness.

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I don’t know why I was supposed to run into that man today. Why I was supposed to pick up that sacred salmon. Maybe he was an angel? Maybe he was just a socially-deprived veteran with an affinity for cats with a sophisticated pallet.

But when we left, he looked at me and said…”I’ll leave you with the German’s Rule of the Day.” And with a wink he whispered, “Stay beautiful.”

If he only knew…

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

289 thoughts on “Lessons from a 91 Year Old”

  2. The world you are forging is a beautiful world, full of light, energy, and love. When sorrow hits, there is hope through prayer and faith that all will be well no matter how tough. You are forging a place that so many others have no clue how to direct toward. Your world is a blessed one and all who you bring into it are truly blessed. God Bless you today, Viernes Santo, and every day. You are the most wonderful actress ever!! xoxoxoxoxoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh Migueltio, thank you friend. Amen – there IS hope through prayer and faith. That is so so true. Thanks, same to you. I hope you have a powerful and moving Good Friday. God is amazing. And so are you:) Hugs and love xox

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  4. I needed to read this post for my day! I know….Old people are just so full of wisdom and experience. I never take them for granted!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I believe it is possible to be a professional actress and live a values-based life. The entertainment industry could use a few more people who are rooted in love of family and faith in Jesus. Congratulations on being accepted into the SAG. Stand firm in your beliefs.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much for this perspective Madeline. I think you’re right. It doesn’t have to be an either or. It can be a both/and 🙂 thanks so much for your kind words and support. Big hugs to you xox

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  6. 1. Thanks for saying 50 & 60 is young.
    2. 🙁 I am a 0slow walker and a slow talker, sorry.

    With that said, we as a society don’t give our seasoned citizens enough time and enough respect. My dad is in assisted living, he has Alzheimer’s and dementia. I’m the only one of his six kids that gives him any time. I love going there and talking with other residents. Hearing their stories and seeing their faces light up having company is an awesome feeling. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

  9. God’s timing does indeed confound (and at times frustrate), but it is always perfect. I think others have said it – this time with your family was a grounding for when you do go out and chase your dreams through acting. No, I don’t believe God caused the stroke, but I do believe He has and will continue to use it for you and for your family. All the best to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Congratulations, Caralyn, on your achievement. I only knew one actor, I guess. Well, one who went on to be an actor, anyway. A kid I knew in my high school. One year younger than I. Last I knew, he was also living in New York City working as an actor. He made some comment on Facebook one time about Screen Actors Guild this-or-that. I don’t really remember what it was. I don’t know much about that stuff. The last I read from him was a scheduling conflict where he had to turn down Kanye West for a project. A lot of people thought that was funny. I guess I did, too. I haven’t kept up with him or the other kids from high school for a lot of years for a number of reasons. Anyway, congrats. Talking of 90-year-old war vets, I know one of those. I’ve always loved listening to his stories. Things ain’t like they used to be, though. He can’t walk like he used to. He told me one time, “Old age wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the old age.” Life changes, and so do we. Everything good turns bad, and everything bad turns worse. Unless anyone out there is living some fairy tale wonderful life and has had the great pleasure of avoiding pitfalls and danger seamlessly. Not me. You mentioned some time before that you were going through a transition phase. That looks very evident now. You have quite a positive vibe of late, although I must say, I have never known a person to use the word “verklempt” as often as you do. And although I remember the story of Lazarus, I had never taken so much notice of it until your repeated references to it in your writings. Thanks for that. Those of us who are dead to the world appreciate it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Old age wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the old age. Gosh isn’t that quite the sentiment! Thanks for sharing that, dan. And wow turning down Yesus?! That’s one for the record books. Sounds like your friend is pretty legit! Hugs and love xox

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      1. Don’t give me any credit. I didn’t know him that well! I only really talked to him once, and that was in college. I wasn’t much of the social butterfly in high school–or junior high–or intermediate school. Go back to pre-school, though, before I blocked myself with social inhibition, and I was a different person willing to express myself. If I were to know any of the kids that I “knew”, I’d have to start from zero. My nose was always in my math books, literally. Even at sports events.

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      3. You’re right. I never thought about it before, but it must be written in the universal language of love. I saw math exercises explained and performed in Chinese one time. All the numbers I recognized completely, even though the solution set was carried out in Chinese. How about that!

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  12. Congrats on the SAG! Kudos to you. Love the new facelift on the site as well. Most people just take these encounters for granted – they are moving too fast in life to recognize. If they would slow down just a bit – they just might see Gods’ work and beauty!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Congratulations girl! Very happy for you. The Screen Actors guild is an awesome accomplishment.., what’s next?? I know what you mean about having someone just start up a conversation with you and you’re like, “oh man.. I have so much to do, I just don’t have time.” But then it hits you, God always has a plan and a purpose.. just look up from the phone and listen. It always takes me a moment or two to bring on the patience needed to accept what God is trying to give. Enjoyed the article, we are all so different and yet perfectly alike. Thanks for sharing!

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    1. Thank you so much!! That’s so kind of you to say. You’re right. If we give the conversation a minute, God will always teach us something through that stranger. Thanks for tHe encouragement. Hugs and love xox

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  16. I’m one of those people who doesn’t know what
    they want yet and how to grab it without talking big risks with very little what they have, because what’s face it, you always have something to loose and something to gain, but what’s wrofth losing to gain what you want?

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yeah “go big or go home” but their are many ways to look at it, like that 91 year old man being in wars. He might of thought at one time, “Ran alway and fight an other day, or die here fighting to the very end like theirs no tomorrow.”

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      2. Gosh, that’s another powerful little slogan. Makes me grateful that I’ve never been involved in a war like that. Makes me appreciate our service men and women too. hugs xo

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  17. My grandmother would have chatted you up in the fish section of Krogers too. 🐟 Love that bookshelf (more in upcoming blog about reading what is already on my bookshelf) in the photo. 👓 Sorry to be so scarce recently… very busy couple of weeks with visitors around, then a workshop, working extra hours and days to cover for a co-worker, then giving a lecture at the local university… 😳 Well, it’s Friday. We have a new, small greenhouse in the back of the truck, and it’s Date Night (Mikado at the local university). Time to catch up at the coffee shop… ☕️
    Oscar

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw, I would have loved to chat with your grandma! Thanks! Yeah, I was at a wedding last weekend and found that bookshelf. The encyclopedias were from 1896!! How cool is that!?! No worries! it’s great to hear from you Oscar 🙂 Enjoy your evening! big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  18. S A G. Awesome. Two years from now you’ll be on location in “Hollywood East” Pittsburgh, getting caught up in a Twitter mixup with Taylor Swift and later on an appearance on Ellen in 2022. Can’t wait. Just don’t seek my advice on trendy spots in Pittsburgh. I’m 41. I’ve been out of the game since 2004. 😁

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    1. Thanks so much !! Hahahaha oh my gosh this made me laugh out loud. You’re funny. Of all those things, I think being on Ellen would be the coolest! 😎 keep dreaming, right!? Haha thanks for making me smile. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  22. I firmly believe that the world is filled with Angels, just humans that are there at the right time and place to give you a moment for you to believe again. And that was an awesome moment.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. That is a very nice story! I believe in angels and perhaps an angel speaks to him to talk to you not to decline an opportunity that will come your way. 🙂 You are beautiful, who says not? Cheers!

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  26. You have a kind heart and truly listen. This is extremely rare. We old people especially ones who have lost a spouse need someone to listen to us and can see in your eyes that you a kind person; it makes you pretty. This post is beautiful. I’m please that you read my blog; it is like you listening to the old guy in you post. Please accept my thank you on his behalf. I also need to feel someone is listening . When your identity is bound with another, as spouses are, the new separated (physically my wife is still with me in my heart) reality is a foreign landscape. We need someone to witnessing our journey in this most unforgiving of landscapes. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Aw thank you so much for this beautiful comment. Gosh I am so touched by your kind words. I can’t imagine the heartache of that new landscape-thank you for sharing that. Know that you’ve got a friend in me 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  27. And you will take these experience with you on your journey. I am the same and older folks have always (still do) been attracted to me and I to them. The wise ones and when you pay attention to what they are saying you realize how valuable of a gift they bring to you. 😊

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  28. Thank you for sharing this. I can relate to the old people thing. They gravitate towards me too. I’ve been considering the life I want to live recently and I think I’ll grab the world. I’m not religious at all, but this resonated with me. Also, dagnabbit is my new favorite word. Keep well. X

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  29. Amazing! I am new to my new journey and dreams of writing and sharing my story or recovery through Christ, but I’m keeping the faith that God will lead me according to His will and in His time. Reading your writings, though, gives me inspiration and hope. Thoroughly enjoying! Thank you!!

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  30. Great post and important message. We (i.e. the generation now “running things”) all too regularly dismiss the generations before us as “misinformed”, “didn’t know any better”, or “past it”. I think if we all spent a little time listening and learning the lessons of those who have gone before us, we’d all be doing a lot better.

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  32. I know just what you mean, old people love me too. I genuinely love chatting about the past – everyone has interesting stories, even if they think they’ve had the dullest life. Huge congrats at getting in SAG! Happy Easter from across the seas.

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  34. Going to the last part – I don’t care if it’s a German saying – that he parted saying “Stay beautiful” It means he knows you ARE presently beautiful. And have remained in that state, no matter what it feels like. That was not a “line” uttered by some guy who was “after you” but you should know that men don’t lose their ability to know beauty as they age. Which means – and yeah, I’m doing some logical extrapolation – there are many good men your age who know your beauty as well.

    One thing that I’m convinced DOES change with age is openness to say and write things. I wouldn’t call it inhibitions coming down as much as developed wisdom that knows when to be quiet and when to make sure you say what is needed, to love, to encourage and to bless. I’m glad you met up with this guy because clearly he spoke words that many others would. And you took time to listen and really hear his version of carpe diem. That made and presently makes you a much wiser, richer person.

    Congratulations on your SAG membership!! You are a lady of many talents. You have no idea how much good you are doing by being vulnerable enough to share your life.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Gosh, you are so kind to say that. Thank you so much 🙂 I am incredibly touched by your words of encouragement and kindness. Hearing him say that to me, i was just filled with so much warmth and it made me smile. I think you’re right – they have so much wisdom to share and I wish I had more opportunities to learn and interact with older people. Thanks for stopping by. Big big hugs to you xox

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  35. The one thing you’ve hit on is that how valuable and fulfilling life lessons can be if we just pause, listen and contemplate our interactions. You asked if he was your guardian angel…I believe that we do have angels living among us and some in the most unpredictable places. But it takes an open mind to engage with them and the timing will always be right. My father suffered the last 25 years of his life and believe me I know what you mean when you said you learn real quick about what’s important in your life. I learned that no matter what the circumstances are, God is always showing us a path and sometimes more than one…it’s up to us to decide…in my last Blog I have a line I think you can appreciate ….. “Does God reward us for doing the right thing or is just the act of doing the right thing the reward…”

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing this. Gosh, I’m so sorry to hear that your father had to walk that road. You’re right, God is in control and will reward us for doing the right thing. Thanks for the encouragement. Hugs and love xox

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  37. Maybe the reason why you connect to old people is you have the same belief when it comes to moral values. A lot of young people are deprive of nowadays. And wonder why they can’t find happiness.

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  42. Great post and congrats on your acceptance into SAG. You deserve it. Also, can I just say that I am LOVING the new theme? I thought I’d come to the wrong blog at first, but it’s lovely. Take care 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re most welcome, girl. I’m just so happy for you right now! 🙂 Once this blog is open, I’ll always stop by. ❤

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  44. I absolutely LOVED this article! 🙂 I have a special place in my heart for older adults, and it sounds like God placed this kind gentleman in your path for a divine purpose. Congrats on the SAG letter! I pray that God will keep showing you your path. Keep loving Him and others, and He’ll do the rest.

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  46. This is funny. My wife and I have a saying, “Old chicks dig me!” Because I have a deeper and louder voice, all the ladies in the assisted care facility with my MIL can hear me. Plus I listen and respond to them. I usually have them giggling by the time I leave.

    My biggest fear is getting old and feeble. This guy shows there is hope! Grab life lady, enjoy it all, and challenge yourself. Then when you are 90 (and still cute!) you will have stories to share with a 20 something 🙂

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  47. Hi BBB,

    Those Jesus moments are awesome. You took away the nugget from it. Thanks for passing that moment on for the rest of us to appreciate and not miss when it comes our way. You gave your time to someone who needed it as much as you needed to hear it. Have a blessed NY day from CA,

    Gary

    On Thu, Apr 13, 2017 at 3:59 PM, BeautyBeyondBones wrote:

    > beautybeyondbones posted: “I’m going to say something and I really hope it > doesn’t come off as insensitive….But… Old people love me. Hear me out. > First of all, I’m not talking about people who are 50 or 60…because > hey…that’s young! I’m talking 90s. OLD. But I’m going to” >

    Liked by 1 person

  48. Dear friend,,

    Well, we have to learn our lessons in this world – the more we learn the better we know ourselves. We ourselves
    are like an unknown country which needs to be discovered. We see us even change from year to year in our meanings (as you have changed too) – it is a journey going inwardly. There, we can grab treasures in finding and discovering ourselves. Money, material things are not so much of value (actually of no value at all – because when we leave this world we cannot take anything with us, no money, no houses, no boats, no diamonds etc.) – the inner values is what counts. And to go and see the world means also, to see oneself in the mirror of the world – everything which comes from the world is a kind of reflection of our own inner world. There, the old man belongs too, your family, your friends, all people around you and each of them is unique to bring you a missing puzzle to yourself, to come with a hidden message… We are like a scattered puzzle and we need to pick all the fragments to understand who we really are. However, we should know that we are not from this world – our true home is in the lap of our Father. Although we are in this world, but we are not from this world. And so the world is a mirror, a huge gate to ourselves, to get to know ourselves. The world is like a vast pottery – when a pot is ready, then it can return to our Eternal Home. Nothing happens by chance, there is always a hidden meaning behind when we come across people, experiences, new events. All is there to give us opportunities to become more and more conscious and to get a deeper understand – who we are…

    Thanks for sharing and I have also noticed your new design of your page – which looks very nice 🙂

    Hugs
    Didi

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for this Didi. I so appreciate your kind and positive remarks. I love that analogy of the puzzle. so so true . And you’re right – it’s the inner value that counts! thanks for the beautiful encouragement. big big hugs xo

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  49. Congratulations!! Wow, what a victory getting that SAG card! 👏🏼😄

    I have so much to say, I don’t know where to start! I always love reading your blogs–you’re such an encouragement! I suppose I have two thoughts on my heart:
    1. I’m graduating college in three weeks and recently had to choose between two career-molding job opportunities. (Obviously, a great problem to have!) I was struggling to figure out which choice was God’s will, but ultimately realized that they both were. His will for me was that I would walk in His love and serve others, whichever job I chose! No matter what you decide, make the decision in peace knowing that God is still God and you are still his princess no matter how you choose to serve Him. 🙂
    2. I recently wrote a paper about William Wilberforce (see it in an upcoming blog post!) and I was fascinated by his salvation story and subsequent career dilemma. Before he came to Christ, he experienced incredible success in British politics, quickly becoming one of their youngest rising stars and a close friend with Pitt, the prime minister. He was in a position with plenty of power and influence and he was proud of it. Unfortunately, his only purpose in life was to maintain and grow that power. He had no higher calling on his life.
    Enter Christ’s saving grace. Wilberforce struggled between his obvious need for that grace and the idea of giving up his political ambitions. John Newton and John Wesley both encouraged him by proposing that perhaps God had “raised [him] up for the good of the nation.” That his political successes were not his own doing, but God’s guiding hand setting him up to do his will. He wrote later that he felt a new calling–“to champion the liberty of the oppressed.”
    We all know in hindsight how that calling turned out: the abolition of slavery in England.
    Your post made me think back to that paper and I felt like I should share his story. I would really recommend the article “A Man Who Changed His Times” by John Pollack (I found it in the book Character Counts) if you want to read more about it!

    Essentially, whatever you decide, God’s got you. Your story is one, brilliant thread in his tapestry of grace!
    God bless you, girl. Go keep rockin’ this world. 🙂

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    1. Enter Christ’s saving grace! How perfectly that sums it up. Thanks so much for your kind words, Christy! Congrats on graduating! that is so exciting and I know that God is going to put you right where He wants you 🙂 I will definitely pray as you journey forward into the next chapter. how exciting 🙂 Thanks again. can’t wait to read that post! hugs xo

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