The Negligence of “13 Reasons Why”

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

“13 Reasons Why.”

The Selena Gomez – produced Netflix show that remade the YA fiction novel by the same name.

The topic? Teenage Suicide.


The “13 Reasons” refer to the 13 cassette tapes the victim, Hannah, left behind, explaining why each of the 13 people on the tapes were to blame in why she took her own life.

I didn’t want to watch it. Clearly, this is not a light subject matter, and not particularly something I wanted to watch alone in my studio apartment in New York. But given my affinity for Justin Bieber, and as a result, his first love, Selena Gomez, I wanted to see what she produced.

And well, after watching all 13 episodes in less than 48 hours, I have some thoughts. Strong ones.

Suicide is never the answer. It should never even be an option. Let’s get that right out of the way from the get-go. And if you are having suicidal thoughts, you should seek professional help. Call a crisis hotline. Talk to someone.

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This show got it wrong.

As a survivor of a severe case of anorexia, this topic hits really close to home with me. Too close. During my disease, even though I never would have said, “I want to end my life,” the fact is, my actions communicated just that. I starved myself down to 78 pounds. Anorexia is a slow, drawn out suicide attempt. There. I said it. Whether you realize it or not, you are killing yourself, every day. Every meal you skip. Every calorie you burn. You are slowly and deliberately allowing yourself to waste away.

And there is nothing to glorify there. Nothing to romanticize. Nothing to slap a sepia filter on and call it “teen angst.” It is a form of mental illness; just like conditions that lead to suicidal thoughts and actions. And it should be treated and supervised by professionals.

The thing that made me the most upset about the show, aside from the appalling depiction of sheer ineptness by the guidance counselor, the glamorization of her death through an elaborate “riddle” of tapes left behind, and the depiction of control that creates, the thing that got to me the most was that these tapes – these 13 Reasons – blamed someone for it.

One of my biggest regrets, that I still live with to this day, is thinking that my loved ones blame themselves for my anorexia. Thinking that they were a contributing factor to my illness, or that they did or said something that triggered the development of the eating disorder. It has worn at my spirit that they could possibly blame themselves. And over and over and over, I’ve tried to communicate to them that it wasn’t their fault. Sure, tense words were said, and maybe sometimes the best decisions weren’t made, but the fact is, we all were just getting through it the best we could, the best we knew how.

No one is to blame for a suicide. I don’t care how “good” of a story line that creates.

Is it horrible that Hannah had to endure assault and bullying? Absolutely. But taking one’s life is not the only option out there. Where were those options in the plot line?

Finally, my heart absolutely shatters, to think about the impressionable teens who watch this series. Who, like myself, want to check it out because Selena Gomez is on the poster and take her word as “Gospel-ajacent.”

The act of taking one’s life stems from one thing: control. Regain control of a life that seems hopeless, and at a dead end. And the message that the storyline communicates – that Hannah was able to leave a legacy and communicate with her classmates and control them into solving her riddle – it glamorizes, belittles and negates the gravity and severity and finality of the act of suicide. It puts an air of “celebrity” on the devastating act that doesn’t leave people curious, it leaves them ruined. Suicide ruins the loved ones. Shatters them. Leaves them unable to pick up the pieces.

When a person takes their life, there is no more communicating with their friends afterwards. There is no seeing if they’ve solved the riddles or played the “game” by the rules, or done this or that. When a person takes their life, they are no longer alive. They are no more. And everyone is left to put the pieces back together, and fight the horrific guilt that they were to blame.

There is always another option. There is always a way out. No matter how bleak. There is always another option. It is my deepest prayer that if someone who is at risk, watches that series, that they don’t become enamored with the glitz and the notoriety Hannah received after her death. That they realize that there are people that they can reach out to for help. Guidance counselors are good people and, contrary to the depiction in the series, are well equipped and want to help.

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But lastly, I pray that those at risk youth remember that they’re not alone. That they are loved so fiercely by their Heavenly Father, who wants to fight for them. And even though that might not seem like enough, it has the power to turn things around.

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“13 Reasons Why” is negligent. It panders to the glorification of a tragedy that should never, ever be glossed over or trivialized or romanticized.

Hannah had a mental illness. And with proper care and guidance, her story could have ended a lot differently.

And I pray that for anyone watching it, they realize that too.

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551 thoughts on “The Negligence of “13 Reasons Why””

  2. Great insightful read. My husband and I just finished the series after seeing a few articles on the show. I do agree with you that the have glorified and romanticized such a hurtful act. Suicide is never the answer. It’s saying that God is not better than our circumstances, and puts us on the throne of our lives where only He truly belongs and where only He can fill the emptiness we feel.
    On the other side I do understand the painful thoughts that drives one to want to end it all. The thinking that ending it all will make it all somehow go away and hurt those who hurt me. Before coming to know God at 15 I was thinking much along the same lines as Hannah, that everyone was against me. I was bullied because, quiet frankly teenage kids are just plain mean, but also for various reasons that I just didn’t fit in with everyone else. Truth of the matter is, no one really “fits in” as much as they think they do. As a teenager we hurt others because seeing someone else hurt makes us feel better. It’s pride really. Hurting people hurt others. But then there are those who just plain don’t care about their problems (as the character of Bryce displays) and have so deceived themselves in their thinking that they believe their actions are right. I’ve been the short end of that stick many times. Fortunately a friend of mine invited me to church which changed how my life could have gone.
    I would debate the counselor’s portion however. Being in “hood” schools growing up unequipped or unconcerned counselor and teachers were a consistent problem in just about every school I went to. But I don’t doubt that there are many genuine counselor’s who do really care. Who do really want to help. From my past experience it’s been in short supply as far as the poorer neighborhoods I grew up in.
    If anything though perhaps as I have read in a few previous comments here, that this show could open the opportunity for parents to talk to their children about these sort of things. And perhaps allow others to consider stepping into this sort of field to help other struggling with suicide, anorexia, and the incredible growing list of mental illnesses out there ruining lives and taking names. What these people need is compassions and a godly hand to show them the only Source that could ever heal or fix us: Jesus Christ.
    I hope even in your writing, opens up the opportunity for you to reach others and reach out with your own testimony. Your story could very well be what God uses to save a soul from the desperation of darkness. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that this hits so close to you. But I am so glad that you went to church with your friend and found His healing power. That’s so true – God *is* better than our circumstances. Amen to that. I so appreciate you sharing this powerful perspective. Jesus is the ultimate rescuer and there in lies the hope 🙂 hugs xo

      Liked by 1 person

  5. You are the second person today I have heard from about this show. With the same message. I remember as a teen thinking this was not a bad way out from time to time, but it was never more than a fleeting thought. I do worry about impressionable and vulnerable kidlets watching this.

    On the flip side, any kid like me would be more likely to watch cuz people told me not to. Its why I still read books that get banned. I agree the makers are irresponsible!

    I would disagree on one point. If a person, regardless of age, is diagnosed with an incurable. and is in severe pain that will not get better, they very much should have the control and ability to end the suffering.

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      2. You’re right, sadly the story doesn’t end like that for everyone. In fact, one of my readers succumbed to anorexia just last year around this time. it was so incredibly sad. I still think about her to this day. Thanks for saying that. we’re lucky to have you too 🙂 xox

        Liked by 1 person

  6. I am so glad you wrote about this show. Unfortunately, it’s not just teens watching this. My daughter is twelve and there are more young children watching than aren’t. And much younger than her. I had no clue about the show…we don’t even have Netflix! But after she mentioned other kids talking about it, I read a review…I was appalled to think young children would see that type of content. I’m not sure some parents know what their kids are seeing so thanks for writing about it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this. gosh, yeah they keep getting younger and younger. Yeah it hurts my heart to think about those impressionable young minds. definitely not for kids – or teens – for that matter. way to graphic (gratuitously) and intense. IMHO 🙂 hugs to you Candi xox

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  8. THANK YOU! I read this book while in high school and was actually a fan. Then, in my early twenties, I attempted suicide, which changed my perspective on a lot of things. Your post is amazing and lists all of the reasons 13 Reasons Why is negligent (and why my husband and I refuse to watch it). The thing that gets me the most is the fact that she blames others for her suicide. Not only for the fact that you include- suicide isn’t the only option and the victim is ultimately the person who makes the decision. But also because suicide isn’t about everyone around you; it’s about how you see yourself. Even if Hannah went through high school incident free and never encountered a bully, she could still very well have committed suicide. No riddles, no reasons, just a lack of self-love and self-worth.

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    1. Thank you for sharing your story, Jordan. I’m so sorry that this hits so close to home for you. I’m so glad that you are in a better place. The world is better with you in it 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing this powerful perspective. i really appreciate it. big big hugs to you xox

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Very excellent post.. Sadly, this movie is just more of what society deems as “right”… The culture of death has been at work for many years and we have in the last few years reached the brainwashing state now.. Euthanasia, Suicide, Abortion,…society celebrates death and shuns life at all stages and makes excuses that make others believe it’s ‘right’….. Its sadly, and frightening the society we live in. We live in a society that no longer believes in life nor God and without both, you’re done..

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I haven’t watched the show – and I won’t. I’ve read enough about the whole thing to know it’s not something I’ll touch with a ten-foot pole.

    This Fall I will celebrate 6 years of life after God intervened and prevented me from carrying out my suicide plan. There’s nothing glamorous, romantic or entertaining about it. In my opinion, everyone involved in making this show made a huge, irresponsible misstep. Bullying, mental illness and suicide all need to be discussed, but in much more nuanced way. It makes my stomach churn to know that kids are watching this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Marie, thank you so much for sharing part of your story. I am so glad that God intervened too. You’re right, it makes my stomach ache to know that kids are watching this as well. Hugs and love xox

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  13. As a mother of teen boys I’m dreading this, well, craze. I won’t read the book & I won’t be watching the show, but we will use it as a discussion point as to why suicide is not the answer.
    The only time I ever saw my Pa cry was at his son’s funeral. Peter hadn’t told us he was ill again; he pretended all was well. It broke something inside me to see Pa like that. So if anyone’s reading this and thinking that suicide is the end of pain, please know it’s not. It’s the beginning for everyone left behind.

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  14. I had a bit of a different take on the series. Although I wasn’t a fan for different reasons, and I don’t think that they necessarily did a good job of expressing the true difficulties of suicide, I interpreted the show as a way of showing that we aren’t all perfect and need to be aware of the way we interact with others. I completely agree that suicide should never be blamed on anyone else, I do feel people can unconsciously contribute to someone who is having such thoughts. Not in an intentional way but accidentally. I took the show more of a way of expressing we should all be aware of our everyday actions because we have no idea what anyone else may be struggling with or going through. I think a lot of times as individuals we can become so consumed with ourselves and our own issues that we fail to notice those around us.

    I also don’t think that Hannah necessarily sought out to control the 13 people who had an influence on her suicide but the characters became controlled out of fear of what they had done. ((Which again I don’t feel was their fault at all but I think there was a strong bullying message tied into the suicide message that some viewers may have missed)) I also think that show was trying to portray the importance of communicating and reaching out when going through struggles (something Hannah didn’t do and her suicide became an example so to speak as to what we shouldn’t do. I don’t think they necessarily went about it the right way but think that’s maybe what they were going for)

    Also from experience I’ve had situations where guidance counselors have behaved similarly to that of the shows depiction of a counselor. I work in the mental health field now and know that the depiction can be pretty spot on at times. People going through the motions of their job unintentionally. I always love your posts and just wanted to share a different perspective because I too am a suicide survivor and had a different experience.

    xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Razia, thank you so much for sharing your story. Gosh I so appreciate this perspective. You’re so right – how we interact with others is more important than we know. And it’s true – we never know how our everyday actions may effect someone else. Thank you for this thought provoking response. It means the world, and I am so glad that you’ve used your life to help others. That’s so awesome. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  19. You say here that guidance counselors are “good people” and “want to help.” Is that only for those who afford a $100,000 personal price tag, or would you say that is across the board, including state-funded for the poor?

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  20. Good job Caralyn. The statement that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem works. Even if that problem is a life full of pain, compared to eternity it is temporary.

    And there is the problem of people threatening suicide just to get attention. I’ve seen that many times as has my wife with people she’s helped.

    The point at which you take someone seriously is when they communicate a plan to you. And yeah do NOT mess around. Call 911, I’m quite serious.

    I won’t be watching the series but will no doubt be working with teens who do, so it’s good to know about. There’s nothing romantic about suicide, just a bloody mess and/or cold dead body. Sad that someone gave this story legitimacy, it’s just a promotion of despair.

    But you tell a better story! Always!

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. You’re right – there’s nothing romantic at all about it. and yes – call for help immediately. The professionals are trained to deal with that situation, because contrary to what the show said, kindness, although good, can’t “solve” the issue. Thanks for stopping yb. big hugs x

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  21. I also reviewed “13 Reasons Why” on my blog and I agree with everything you said. I had basically the same view. I think it makes suicide look like a way to get the ultimate revenge on those that hurt you and this could be very damaging to impressionable people.

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  22. So much in media today tends to glorify things that are tragic, intense or what. Its almost trying to show today’s generation of younger view/readers how totally far a situation can go, or dare them to explore how it “could” go. You are wonderful for trying to reach out to others and spread words and experiences that are true and not over glorified. Your light shines brighter than the camera that films all the glorified scenes. God Bless you for being so TRUELY glorious to showing how loved people can be in God’s world! xoxoxoxo

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    1. You’re so right. The media loves tragedy. How sad is that. Gosh, thank you for your kind words Migueltio. You are always so nice to me – and I hope you know how much that means 🙂 big big big Hugs to you my friend xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You too!! xox Ayeeee!! We just had a major tragedy here as of last night. It unfortunately didn’t start last night, but last night is when the news broke. My daughter’s middle school principal just got arrested for pedi charges. I guess they were gay pedi charges at that.

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      3. Pray for me today too because after 14 years at the same part time job, which I love mind you, a full time opening has happened near enough to try for. I sent all my stuff in today, with the deadline the 12th. Its all in God’s hands!!

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      5. Thanks and hugs!! All my materials are in to them. Hopefully I’ll at least get an interview out of it. I’m glad the deadline isn’t until the 12th cuz right now I’m on meds for strep. 😦

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      10. I never liked the guy and the union was trying to have him NOT get his tenure for many reasons (unknowing of his etc…) but the sucker Supt we have JUST granted him his tenure the night before at the board mtg. What a mess!!! Thank God the charges aren’t involving anyone from either this district, or the one I work in just north.
        Please pray for this mess and the students here!!

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  23. I just heard this being discussed on CBC radio today. The local school board had several of the same concerns! I wonder if all this chatter has affected what Selena Gomez thinks of this project.

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  25. Oh my gosh I COMPLETELY agree. This series bugs me because it glorifies suicide and never once discusses mental illness. This is incredibly dangerous for anyone who is watching this series and does in fact struggle with mental illness. In turn, I think this series could be doing more harm than good. Especially with that graphic scene at the end, which doesn’t even match up with how Hannah died in the book. I am so glad someone else stands for this issue as passionately as I do. I think it is awesome you are voicing your opinions on this controversial topic.
    Much love,
    Ashley from Dear Ash
    http://www.dearash.com

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    1. Hey Ashley, thank you so much for sharing this thoughtful reflection. Yeah it is really worrisome that teens are flocking to this series like they are. I applaud them for trying to open up an important discussion, but you’re right- Unfortunately I think it’s doing more harm than good. I’m glad you feel the same! Sending such big hugs xox

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  26. I agree completely. I was shocked to see this series pretty much glamorize suicide. Cmon Netflix. But what really struck home for me is your guilt about how responsible those close to you feel for your struggles. I was raised by a single mother who is the light in my life. Like the sweetest, most honest person you could ever meet. But she blames herself for too much when she was just doing the best with what she had. So I feel ya. And props on overcoming your anorexia. Lol I just stay away from heroin. You have to deal with your trigger everytime you eat. That’s strength. Be well triple B. You’re awesome!

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    1. thank you so much for this heartfelt response. yeah, the glamorization of such a tragedy just made my heart hurt. And thank you for that little affirmation — that meant a lot today 🙂 big hugs xo

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  29. Yeah it does romanticize suicide quite a bit and it’s problematic. Some of my blogger friends have got triggered by the show and my heart goes out them, but I’m just upset that this is the best “mental health awareness” we’ve got. Mental health awareness should be non-triggering and honest. I agree with you that the premise of blaming other people for your suicide is disturbing.

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    1. Oh gosh, that breaks my heart to hear that they were triggered. It really was incredibly graphic, and i can only imagine how difficult of a watch that must have been. I completely agree – because the topic should be discussed, but in a way that is productive and non-triggering. big hugs to you girl, hope you have a great weekend. xox

      Liked by 1 person

  30. Hi!

    Thank you so much for liking one of my posts in my blog, https://joyfuljourney.blog/

    As a token of my appreciation, here’s the PDF version of my first ever Kindle ebook.

    “A Decade of Grace” (Kindly click here: http://wp.me/P1UqPx-AQ)

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    -Charlene Samoy

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  31. I admit I have not had a chance to watch it. I might read the book first. Normally, I prefer reading the book before deciding if the movie is worth watching. i.e. After The Girl on the Train read, I don’t care enough to watch the movie. It was ‘meh.’

    I have heard, however, a lot of controversy over this Netflix mini-series. I can’t comment on the show myself since I have not watched it. But no, I would not glorify suicide. At the same time. I also think there is a chance of being overly-conservative when teens are assumed to be so influential of what they take in. Yes, they are influential to peer pressure but I think that if they are going to commit suicide after watching a fictional show, it was something they probably wanted to do even if the show did not exist. I also think the issue is that for people who are that depressed ARE at a point where they feel they have no other options. It’s a mind set regardless of what you and I think is right. We see the options. They just… can’t.

    Having said that, as a parent of young teenage girl, I would not be opposed if she wanted to watch this series. I would, however, watch it with her. And have an open discussion about the topic. I admit, however, I am an open-minded, more to the left than right, liberal thinking parent. My way is not for all parents but that is what I felt was sound advice from parenting experts in regards to letting one’s children watch this series.

    I will at some point read the book or watch the series. I don’t have any high expectations for either.

    Seems like a sad attempt to be deep in a ridiculous manner. But the subject matter is important. And even through all the controversy, it is sparking a lot of conversation around depression, suicide and bullying – which is something we need to talk more about in the open. My 2 cents. 🙂

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    1. Thank you so much for this thoughtful reflection. you’re so right – it’s a very important topic, and i applaud them for trying to open up a discussion. i just pray they didn’t do more harm than good. big hugs x

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  32. Your thoughts are so well written! I have not watched the series and I have no intention of doing so. I dealt with my own demons as a teenager and I prefer not to open those doors again. Help is available, even at the worst of times. Cry, scream, yell, don’t care-just find some way to ask for help. It is always an option. Shows like this are possibly dangerous and it makes me worry about actions teenagers will take due to this show. Maybe this will open lines of communication between parents and teenagers about suicide.

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    1. Thank you so much for this thoughtful response. you’re so right – help *is* available, and that’s the one thing the show didn’t communicate. i just hope it hasn’t done more harm than good, because you’re right, it is a topic that needs to be discussed in a healthy and beneficial way. hugs xo

      Liked by 1 person

  33. Firstly, and to just make it clear, I want to say that I agree with you. Suicide is never the answer. I know that now. (Oh, I’ve never watched the show so I’m commenting in general.)

    Someone going through a huge crisis in life that suicide seems to be the only answer cannot see what others who are not in the same situation. People who suffer from depression or PTSD for example might feel that others are trivializing their feelings by saying suicide is not the answer and there is something you can do and life can be better. The way is to give support and love and to talk without telling them that they “must just get over it” or something similar, or look on the bright side, or it will eventually get better. I am a fairly level-headed person and while I had no problem in my teens that could make me think of suicide despite my inferiority complex, it was only when I was in my mid-20s that I felt I couldn’t go on anymore. In hindsight, suicide is not the answer.

    It’s easy to say that there is no one else to blame. Some people have more people who cause them pain than love. Just imagine what you would have done if you didn’t have a loving family with you. Also, Christianity, especially the Catholic religion, my religion, makes suicide really scary because one can never go to heaven. What about those who don’t share the same religion. It boils down to the person, the environment and the people around. Sometimes, people actually push others to do certain things. You can blame their weakness but what about the person who took advantage of a person’s weakness, or the person’s depressive state.

    Until you’ve tried to kill yourself – not thought of killing yourself but did something to actually “kill” (try) yourself – and luckily some of us failed/fail, which I tried not only once in year, as a professional person and not as a teen, we will look at “those who mean well” and call what they say lip-service because they don’t know how we really felt/feel and what life was/is really like for us.

    I do admire you for your bravery but there are people who made you braver and believe in life. No offence, I don’t think you did it on your own. And, there are people who are not as fortunate as you, whether as a permanent situation or temporary.

    I see your point. I understand what your view and I love you (and others can say whatever else they want) but it sounds like judging those who are not blessed enough to have the strong heart and support system. We all have our own “capacity” when it comes to burden we can carry. Sometimes, we don’t have the other eyes and hearts to show us that we can carry the burden.

    They, who are suffering from anything that might lead them to consider suicide, don’t need empty words. They need love and understanding. Once they feel/realize that people truly understand, hear them out and love them anyway, that becomes the reason for wanting to live.

    Some people say it’s a selfish act but those who say that, what have they done that’s selfless to contribute to the well-being of the person…?

    Just my thoughts. Much love and hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for sharing this powerful response. I’m sorry that it hits so close to home. I really appreciate you sharing your heart. You’re so absolutely right- they need love and understanding. Boy wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all could do a little more of that 🙂 Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for seeing my point of view. Indeed, love and understanding make a lot of difference. I think empathy, too. Hugs and love to you. xxx

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  34. Well said. I am in agreement playing the blame game for teen suicide solves very little. However the show does bring back to the forefront a big problem that has almost left the social consciousness. People worry too much about Donald Trump and what is going to happen to their favorite TV character in the next episode. Culture is like that though, the media controls what people think. In this case, even if done wrong, perhaps bringing teen suicide and mental health back to the front of people’s thoughts is not necessarily bad.

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    1. Thank you so much Bryan. I really appreciate you sharing your thoughts. I think you’re right – i applaud them for trying to open up an important dialogue, but i just pray it doesn’t do more harm than good. thanks again for taking the time to read. big hugs xox

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  35. I fully agree with this. I don’t think the show emphasized enough resources (if any) for people who are suicidal. They didn’t stress the importance of asking for help or reaching out to someone when you’re having those feelings.

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    1. Thanks so much friend. Yeah, that’s what I wish would have been discussed more – is that there *are* resources and other options. Going through with the tragedy is not the only way out. There are people out there who want to help, and are well equipped to do so. thanks for stopping by. hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  36. the show had its flaws on that a lot of people agree.
    Yet the show works well at showing how self absorbed humans can be, how humans forget how they want to be treated when they treat others.
    it clearly showed holding secrets will eat away at you and communication with honesty is required to get help,not that any character on the show managed to show that maturity.
    allow all nit pick the councilor character on the bad job he did ,and that character did a bad job, but people have to realize people can’t help if you won’t let them by holding back the facts and not talking, humans are not mind readers .
    all in all the show as a work of fiction does a good exaggerated reflective work the sad part is everyone seems to be focused on the suicide. this was good article to get folks talking ,well done on writing the piece. 😊☺😊

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  37. Thank you so much for this. My wife and I struggled with this with our younger daughter, during her middle school-early high school years. 4 fearful, traumatic years for our family. She’s 25 now, and after watching a couple episodes (she couldn’t bring herself to view all), said much of the same things you did.
    The series indeed got it horribly wrong. Your response was perfectly right.

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    1. Thanks Rob, for sharing this. I’m sorry that this hit so close to home for you and your family. Yes, it was horribly wrong indeed. I don’t think they purposely meant to be so insensitive, but my goodness. I just think about *all* the people and executive that saw the show and had to “approve” it and give it a stamp of clearance, and how could *no one* have realized how damaging it is??? It just quite honestly makes me sad and reminds me that it is the entertainment *business.* $$$ anywho, thank you so much for sharing your story. Big hugs xox

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  39. Reblogged this on Life on the Other Side and commented:
    This precious girl does such a great job sharing her heart, journey, thoughts and love for God with all her readers. I agree that “13 Reasons Why” is absolutely negligent. I do not appreciate Hollywood and their reckless decision making. Clearly, they do not have a grip on the seriousness of kids AND adults who are struggling so today. Hope you will take a moment and read this. (((HUGS)))

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  40. Beautifully written and well said. As the parent of 3 boys (two teenagers and one pre-teen), the glorification of suicide is appalling. My husband lost a family member to suicide not even two years ago. The pain and guilt that followed, including the deceased father’s severe heart attack upon receiving the new, are still raw and biting. Suicide should never be the answer as there is always hope. I understand the author feels that this is a story that must be told, but tell it without glamorizing suicide. Tell is in a way that doesn’t inspire teens to think that suicide is a glamorous and only option. Thanks for the brilliant post on this subject.

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    1. Thank you so much for this thoughtful reflection. I’m sorry that it hits so close to home. My heart just breaks that your husband has to walk that road. I’ll definitely keep him in my prayers. You’re right- there’s always hope to be found. Hugs and love xox

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  41. I had mixed feelings over the show. I didn’t read the book (nor had I heard of it before the show), but considering their audience, they had an opportunity to spark meaningful conversation on depression and mental health problems, and completely blew it.

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    1. Hi Erika, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on the show. You’re right- I applaud them for trying to open up a conversation about an important issue, but yes, completely blew it. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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  42. I disagree with your viewpoint on this. I get what you are saying about “blaming others.” No one can or should blame anyone for the heavy pain of depression that debilitates some people. However, the actions of others can definitely be triggers. I appreciate the message of “13 Reasons Why” that we, as humans, all need to pay more attention to what’s going on around us. We are so self-absorbed most of the time that we have no idea what is happening in other people’s lives. This is NOT how Christ lived and not how we should live. There is absolutely no excuse for the way we treat others sometimes. I loved how Clay took it all to heart and stepped out of his comfort zone at the end of the series. Hannah’s experience spurred Clay to get off his butt and be an authentic friend. There are so few authentic people in the world today. God doesn’t want us to play church. He wants us to imitate Christ. Christ was a brave man who cared deeply about all people. We should do the same. We should recognize depression for what it is: a debilitating disease. You don’t expect a person with diabetes to simply “will” their blood sugar to be right. We don’t tell people with diabetes to just “have a positive attitude.” Depression is a serious illness and we should all be paying attention to those around us who need a friend. You are right, that suicide is not the answer, but for a person struggling with the deep pain of depression, they aren’t looking for answers. They just want the pain to stop.

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    1. Thank you so much for joining the conversation and offering your perspective. I also really liked how clay went out of his way to be kind to Sky and make a change in his life to make the world a better and kinder place. That is definitely something we all can try to practice. Thanks again for this powerful response. Big hugs xox

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  43. I agree that this tv series was written wrong (and possibly shouldn’t have been written at all) as my fear was that our youth see suicide as a way out. It’s such a sensitive topic that makes me think, this message could have been delivered better. Thanks for your post on this!!

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. I agree, it is such an important topic, and I applaud them for trying to open up a dialogue, but it could have — and should have — been much better delivered. I pray it hasn’t done more harm than good! thanks again for stopping by. bighugs xox

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  44. Thank you for sharing your testimony as well. Thank you JESUS for saving her. I too attempted to take my life in 2000. But God stopped it. I was in an abusive relationship that ended in me being pronounced dead. I can testify as well that it is not worth taking your life into your own hands. Better to place your life into God’s hands. I didn’t know what this show was about. Now that I do, I will come away from here now and go pray. I love you and you are a blessing. Be encouraged. Be inspired. Be who God created you to be.

    Bella

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    1. Thank you so much, Bella, for sharing your story. I’m sorry that you can relate so personally, but praise God for His saving power in your life. I’m so glad that you’re out of that relationship, and into God’s loving hands. Yes, lots of prayers are needed after that show was aired. Especially for those at risk who may watch it. Thanks again for sharing your story. you’re a blessing to me 🙂 big hugs xox

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  45. I haven’t seen the show, but just from what I’ve heard of it I am so glad someone said what you did! Thank you for sharing!

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  49. I’ve not seen the series, but the fact that it allows for a plot where other (also vulnerable) teenagers are blamed for the suicide of a peer is appalling. This show misses the mark because our culture has greatly missed the mark. We rely much too heavily on other people and things-so many things- to bring satisfaction to our lives. People are faulty and sex, drugs, and Kylie Jenner lip kits have nothing to give outside of a millisecond of a moment of gratification. A pattern is noticed is how often popular culture tends to address an issue at its surface instead of its root. We aren’t giving our young people the foundation to be able to get through difficult times and is really sad. God is the only answer as far I’m concerned. Friends and family that support and love is are also very important, but God needs to be the foundation, our faith, hope, and trust should be first and always in him. I hope this post brings awareness to teen suicide and how to address it at its core

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    1. Hey again friend, thanks for joining the conversation. you’re right – we need to be giving them a foundation for a fulfilling and positive life. And that starts with God. Amen to that. Thanks for your kind words. big hugs xox

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  50. Well said, Sis! There are far too many youth who are walking on the edge between choosing to live or choosing to die. The last thing they need is an entertainment-nudge to suicide with the notion they can gain notoriety and/or empathy.

    I haven’t seen the series, I have only your review to go by, but I’ve been near too many families that have one less child because [in their season of mental illness] they heard a song or read a story that suggested there was “hope” and “relief” and “acceptance” through the doorway of suicide.

    THANK YOU for your own choice to continue to fight for life. At the very least, we have the benefit of your writing. At the very most, there will be families who will not be losing one of their children… because of your fight, your experience, and your humble transparency that will influence their youth to stay with life.

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