Dear Kathy Griffin…

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Being a millennial New Yorker and actor, I’d like to think I’ve got pretty thick skin.

Getting rejected is par for the course in the entertainment industry. The city doesn’t do you any favors — just try battling the check out lines at Whole Foods at 3pm on a Sunday.  Heck, even the squirrels seems to have a certain undeniable hutzpah on these streets.

http---mashable.com-wp-content-gallery-new-york-city-animals-and-animals-everywhere-else-Squirrels

Really, nothing quite comes as a shock to me anymore, for better or for worse.

However.

Earlier this week, opening up my Buzzfeed app to find Kathy Griffin’s infamous photo of her, carrying the bloodied head of a decapitated President Donald Trump…I literally stopped in my tracks.

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Just. No.

And I have a few words.

This is not okay. I don’t care how much you hate the President or his policies, that went. too far.

It’s no secret that Donald Trump is one of – if not the most – polarizing Presidents in the history of the United States, but propagating his death – especially by deliberate decapitation – even as “comedy” – is never, under any circumstance, funny, or edgy, or boundary pushing, or remotely acceptable. Just. No.

I’m not here to drag Kathy Griffin through the coals, but when has this level of sordid obscenity become okay?

When has it become acceptable to emulate the likes of terrorists, and pass it off as political satire?

RealTalk: We need to wake up, look in the mirror, and say, how did I make that okay?

Because here’s the thing: Ms. Griffin is not stupid. She’s a managed comedy machine. And for better or for worse, that photo shoot was calculated: she took those pictures, because the climate of our society is such that smut is culturally acceptable. And dare I say, even celebrated. ((50 Shades of Gray much?))

Sure, maybe she’s having to back pedal now, but the fact is, she released it, because we allowed her to.

And my question is this: What role am I playing in that?

What am I doing to challenge or perpetuate this climate of awfulness?

Seriously.

What do I spend my money on? What shows do I watch? What video games do I play? What clothes do I wear?  What do I retweet, or read, or talk about?

We make our cultural beds, so to speak, every single day, by the actions that we take – or don’t take.

And Kathy Griffin’s grave misstep, is just one example of the monster that we’ve helped create.

I look around, as I’m walking through the streets of New York, and I’d say that 90% of the people have their heads down, buried in their phones.

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Source: stevecutts

I kid you not. I was walking through Bryant Park at dusk one evening, and at one point, I looked up and every. single. person. was engrossed in their phones. Even the couples sitting on blankets.

We vote by our browser history. Our Netflix queue. Our social media follows and feeds.

And you and I, we’re fighting an uphill battle, living in a culture that has left God behind long ago.

Now, I look at that picture of Kathy Griffin, and instead of remaining shocked and saddened and disgusted by this disrespect and terroristic nature of the photo, I’m instead, challenged to make a change.

Ignited to combat the depravity of our age.

And it starts with you and me: With our small sphere of influence. The people in our lives. The neighbors, friends, shop keepers, and community members. How do we spread love? Respect? Tolerance? Understanding? Forgiveness?

We do it by letting God shine through us.

We do it by looking up from our phones and engaging with people on a meaningful level – hearing their stories, and sharing our own. Encountering people, and sharing the truth that they are loved and that there is something — or rather SomeOne — greater to live for.

Even in something as little as a smile. Or a hug.

Because in the world that can be oppressive and dark, a little light goes a long way.

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It starts with you and me.

It starts today.

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

498 thoughts on “Dear Kathy Griffin…”

  3. Pretty insightful. I like how you made this personal. And you are right, our media is just a reflection of our culture, because we buy it. They sell it because we buy it. But, that doesn’t get them off the hook either (a drug dealer can’t claim I only sell it because they buy it). But still, I totally agree with what you said. Thanks for that insight and for encouraging us all to take responsibility and change the culture instead of just complaining about it.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Well said. I’m not a fan of hers anyway, but this was way too far out there, even for her. How she thought this was funny was surprising to me. Your post is good and you made several great points. Nice work.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Refreshing. So much hate seems to be so close to the surface. The lines between critiquing someone or someone’s position and attacking the person are easily crossed by hitting “send” before thinking. I have taken to drafting most of my challenges to politics off line, editing them several times, then cut-and-pasting them into a blog post. A lot of my initial bluster gets deleted in the process. “That’s what I want to say… but I shall be more tactful”. If you have been reading my Dept. of Alternative Facts series, you can just imagine what I have cut out of those posts!

    But, as you elude to, there is so much hate in today’s political discourse. Some of this comes off as insults, such as the beheading image. Some is coming off in shootings and vandalism. Just this week someone left a noose, a symbol of lynchings, inside the National Museum of African-American History in Washington, D.C.

    Rather, you advocating that connecting with people, regardless of their position on this or that issue, will bring more understanding and respect. A few years back, while traveling in South Africa, I noticed that our guide made an effort learn and address everyone (waitresses, clerks, etc.) by name. I now glance at people’s names tags while in line. After they perform their duties, I thank them, by name. I often get a surprised look of appreciation. – Oscar

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks so much Oscar. That’s a great writing process – it really weeds out the “initial bluster” — I like that. Smart. Oh my gosh that is absolutely horrible!!! Wow. So hurtful. Yeah, when we engage and connect with people on a real level, it dissolves any of that hatred or misunderstanding that we may be carrying around. Let’s spread compassion! Thanks for stopping by and for this powerful response. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  6. He (Trump) is is is is is IS OUR president. I’ve always felt this to be counterproductive at the very very least. (Bashing him)
    Thanks for sharing and taking the time to clearly express your view.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I was trying to think about how to respond to this horrible thing but you did the perfect job. It was shocking and upsetting to me. I felt hurt for the families that have had their loved ones beheaded by a terrorist. We have become a cynical society and everything has become acceptable. No compassion or grace anymore. Thank you for the challenge!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks so much friend. Yeah that’s where my thoughts went too – to the poor families and also to little Barron trump. So sad. Let’s bring back that compassion! Hugs and love xox

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  8. Beautifully said and so glad you said it because I hadn’t thought of it in this way. But society, our culture, has gone too far in what passes as completely acceptable. There needs to be more connection, face to face interaction… instead of staring at phones. And you’re right, we can spread light in small ways, and that can make a huge difference! xx

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  9. No matter what who or what we believe, there is a point where we have to draw the line. There is so much hatred in the world today so there is no need for anyone to add to it in a public way. We seem to be losing the core value of what it means to be lovers of each other as a Christian and so much more as a human being. Thanks for a great blog.

    Liked by 2 people

  10. Thank you. I think God has given us the answer on how to affect our world, but we just aren’t listening. I appreciate you stating it again in your very eloquent way. It was an encouragement this morning, just when it was needed.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. It is interesting to see the general response to this. I agree, she went too far. Yes, I understand freedom of speech, and artistic license and all that. But it went too far.
    That said, things also went too far with signs that said “hang in there” depicting a scaffold and noose for Obama, or the bullseye shirts with Clinton seen at Trump pre-election rallies.
    Both sides need to cool their jets, to realize that there are acceptable and unacceptable ways of expressing political disagreement. And violence, or the encouragement of violence, is never an acceptable expression. While Barron shouldn’t have seen it, neither should the Obama girls been exposed to the racism they saw.

    Yes, we do need to think about what we do to contribute…or to disavow…this level of diatribe. A little light DOES go a long way. That’s why the lights do best on mountaintops 🙂 And light, His light, helps all. We just need to shine it
    xox

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Jeff. You’re so right – way too far. For both presidents. It wasn’t okay then and it isn’t okay now. Violence and demonstrations of hate are never okay. I love that thought- putting His light on a mountain top. Let’s do it!! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

      2. Caralyn, I just do not believe in Trump’s style, demeanor, or purpose. That is all I meant with this. I may be obtuse, but give me time, I will explain.

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      3. I feel the lines have been crossed and pushed from both sides. The administration is appalling to me this go round but so was what happened with Kathy Griffin. All of it is leaving a terrible taste in my mouth and a sorrow in my soul for this country that I love.

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  14. You did really well here expressing the conundrum that our world is in right now … we want things a certain way, but don’t realize that we control how “it” is by what we do. Your line was so eloquent – really well written and sincere. You’ve got some great thoughts about how one by one we can all be small individual forces for good. Good world = happy Will 🙂

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  15. Thank you for taking a stand with those of us who acknowledge our need to return to God and truly make this a great nation.

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  16. Thank you. What Griffin did made it even work for the important work of criticizing what needs to be criticized. Many have already made Trump out to be a martyr, and smut like that is like crying wolf.

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  17. And she is now accusing him and his family of “ruining” her career but still insists that she will “keep making fun of him” we are truly a frightening nation when ANYONE could ever think that was funny. Good post.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. I want to add that my thought on danger is more of a fear than a belief. I have better thoughts and hopes as well. We certainly need to pray for the president, and always hope for the best. Our confidence can never ultimately be in a human being, anyhow, therefore neither should we allow any concerns we have to replace our confidence in God’s faithfulness and sovereign rule. And Jesus is the King of kings, head over all in and through the church somehow, anyhow. I’m just thinking, and realizing that one thought may not be all that helpful and edifying.

    Liked by 1 person

  19. (Maybe this has already been said on this long thread, but remember that the president before our current one was pictured as lynched, as well as his head on a monkey. Did those people acknowledge their wrong doing. I don’t know.)

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      1. That was not the question as to whether or not it was okay but was it mentioned. I avoided this post for this specific reason. I actually didn’t know what even know what happened until a few days after because I have stopped watching the news; it’s just too much negativity. I saw this comic strip that said my need to be informed is in conflict with my need to stay sane. I choose sanity. Anyway, as to the statement of Mr. Gossard, I wondered the same thing as everyone, including this post has all this righteous indignation about what she did. I’m not even a fan of hers; I’ve never thought she was funny. But did you write any posts about those who said the former First Family should be lynched, hung from trees, etc.? All of those things indicative of a history meant to enslave a race of people. A form of terrorism before the word was used as it is now. Including the children, and we are not talking about adult children, they were little girls who made no choice to be placed in the position the were placed in and were called horrible names, monkeys and that’s the least of it. But they managed to rise above it, didn’t they?
        Even the current President participated in it; so where was all this outrage and posts then? It’s interesting how those of us who have had to endure racism and prejudice are expected to accept it or it is explained/rationalized away. But when that shoe is on the other foot it is amazing how thin the skin actually is isn’t?
        I have always found American hypocrisy to be fascinating. Even the people that I treat will step right out treatment and begin to judge other people dealing with the very same addiction they have. And I am not able to say anything (confidentiality) but I’m like where is your humility??!! For example, yesterday I was working with a client and she said “I hate liars” and I looked at her and said Really? I find that interesting considering you lied a lot when you were in active addiction (alcohol). She looked at me with this bizarre look. I said to her it would seem you would be a little more humble since you have the history that you have rather than being so judgemental. It amazes me! Look I know many or most don’t have a sense of awareness but some of this is crystal clear, but I also understand cognitive dissonance. I know one of my character defects is judgment, in part due to an upbringing in the Baptist Church. Once I learned I was just as fallible as those I was judging (both freeing and a major gut punch) I am much less judgmental and I also know it is something I have to keep in check. And I surround myself with people who help with that as well. So while I can appreciate your post for the intention, I wonder if you were just as outraged to post when it happened to the former First Family, again some of which he participated.

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  20. It is definitely crazy! To think, we, are allowing society, those who have more of a weight, be our voice of reason, hope, conscience and we blindly follow along because we are afraid to be blackballed among our group of peers.Kudos to you for speaking out and against something so disturbing. I totally agree with the “wake up” call. On today, my children and I were watching a Christian cartoon on the issue of being too engrossed with electronic devices and unaware of what’s going on right in our backyard or even if we are aware we callously stand by and watch because we feel as though it doesn’t pertain to us. I really enjoyed reading your post!

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  21. If there are any leaders we disagree with, pray for them. Prayers are never wrong. Pray for them continually and frequently. Pray for God’s will be done. Should you disagree with me, help me to become stronger and closer to God, I’d love your prayers, Pray always.

    Liked by 2 people

  22. You have written an interesting message that I felt within my spirit; you wrote an awesome piece. And it is true that we need to just take a minute (at least) away from our technology devices and just ‘look up’ at our loved ones and friends that we need to speak with face to face. If I had to choose between technology of today and God’s Word, the Lord wins by a long mile. Very inspirational message! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Yesss! It’s all about the human connection. Letting God work in and through us. Thanks for speaking truth about this topic of the media. Sooo much beauty in the world is neglected because were glued to a t.v screen or a cell phone. Often our headphone and music is drowning out the voice of the Lord. He wants to speak. He wants to be seen. Let’s pray that we are more and more open to his call for our lives; personally and as a society in general.

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    1. Thanks Jenny! Yes! Human connection is so important and we’re losing it in the age of smart phones and screen obsession! Amen He wants to be seen. I’ll join you in that prayer 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  26. I read your post. I really liked the squirrel cartoon. Now about Kathy Griffin, glad you spoke out. I don’t know what you believe but I agree with what she did went way to far and was totally wrong. I’m leaving it at that because what else I think isn’t appropriate to put into writing. Enjoy the weekend.

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  30. Just fabulous. You have pinpointed some of the major problems of our culture, asked the right questions, AND come to the right conclusion. The answer is the same as it has always been. It is the same as when our Lord showed up on the scene. He did not condemn or alienate. He just loved. He WAS the Light in a darkened world. And as our world gets darker still… the only hope is to BE the Light. God bless you as you seek to make a difference… you will!
    M. A.

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  31. Wonderfully written! I share your shock. Kathy Griffin has since apologized, acknowledging that she went too far. Like you, the situation released an avalanche of concerns for me. Once upon a time, we practiced civility where we extended courtesy to everyone we encountered. These days, we seem to solely seek voices that resemble our own. We are increasingly intolerant of those who dare offer a different perspective. Upon extended reflection about Kathy’s misstep, I concluded that the situation boils down to a matter of respect. Respect the office, regardless of feelings about the individual holding the office. Every leader needs our prayers.

    Liked by 1 person

  33. Amen on your thoughts regarding Kathy Griffin. Slowly America has changed like frog in the frying pan. It began in the ’70s with All in the Family and Archie Bunker only to get progressively worse. Now anything goes and we can only pray America can return to civility. Oh and we also refuse to watch the smut on TV.

    3 1/2 years ago my husband and I drove 5,200 miles from Arizona to Delaware and back to visit our children and grandchildren. Sitting at the dining room table, our teenage granddaughter never looked up from her phone to communicate.How I wished I had insisted she give us the one gift we needed . . . TIME. I appreciate your wise words, blessings back,

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    1. Thanks so much for sharing this, Ellie. You’re right – we need to get back to that civility and respect! Oh wow, I’m so sorry about that. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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  36. Couldn’t say it better myself. Wonderful post. Just had these same thoughts you wrote about as I read the headlines this weekend of all the killings and robberies and pure evil that we are allowing to take hold of us as a generation. We as a people need to turn back to the principles God originally designed for us and stop trying to buy into the lie that to be modern means we must minus, delete and ignore God out of our lives.

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  38. Thanks for an extremely beautifully crafted post with thought-provoking insight and, of course, the only true response that our God is the light that can shine through the darkness of evil around us. Marvelous read. Thanks too for liking The Ruminant Scribe, I am humbled at your taking the time to visit and react. Blessings to you today as you light the way in New York City.

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  41. Well said. Louie Giglio once said “Everyone is board-casting something. What are you?” What are we board-casting? Love? or Hate? God’s ways? or what looks right in our eyes at the time?

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      3. Hope you’ve been well. I’m around 5 days ahead on my blog now. Dropped to only 1 a day. I still write as the idea strikes but I’m not posting right away anymore.

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  44. Well written article, as a NewYorker I too am guilty of the avoidance act with my phone while on the train. Which I think is good and bad. Usually bad sense most the time we are using the phone as a distractor. This goes way beyond just train rides it seeps into everything. So I often check myself is using my phone necessary now or am I escaping. Too many people trying to escape their lives. This part really saddens me. However, you can not make eye contact with just anyone in the city or you become an open target for harassment. So when I see or feel someone’s energy off I kindly reject that attention by returning to my phone. This same thing about disconnecting refers to this kind of horrid humor and so called art. People get so distracted that they only begin to see these kind of ridiculous images and without really processing the full idea they’ve already pushed like and moved on. The constant barrage of cheap advertising and media has also supported this way of thinking. I could go on for days but I am about to write a blog to you as a comment so perhaps enough said. Ha. Have a blessed day.

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  46. It is always pleasant seeing that you have stopped by my Blog – pretty, comes to mind.

    And you Posts always ask the right questions. I, for one, could not agree more on this one. It is a sad state of affairs… and we helped to make it.

    Thanks!

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  47. OMG you know NYC, nowadays, better than born and bread NYers know their own city!! That’s another thing that makes you so wonderful is the way you take in all that is around you, and not just whats on your little gadget screen or in an app. NYC used to be full of such amazing diversity but like you said, you have people there who just walk around and have their faces to the screen paying no mind to whats in front of them. The result is that the big $$$$$ realtors are are whitewashing over all that was so different and unique about NYC that nobody really cares. The great Indy restaurants that made real home made food of what ever cuisine are all getting mowed over by chains. The diverse neighborhoods are getting wrought over by people who just want to keep their brains focused on their screens and not be bothered by anything like say, somebody’s music coming from a music store that’s been there for decades. They think NYC should cater to being just like the suburbs. All they want is another Starbucks or another Dunkin, to go in and get their fattening over sugared “coffee” drink, and have their WiFi. I’m not saying NYC should go back to the days where Times Square was XXX and El Barrio was full of trash etc… but like you said, NYC needs an energy that its sorely lacking more and more due to everybody thinking it should just be a “straight line”. xoxoxoxo Hope you are having a good week! You are the most wonderful and beautiful actress in all NYC!!!

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  48. You are absolutely right, people today are so engrossed in the digital world they miss so much in the physical world. Part of the problem is people just don’t care as much about their fellow man and wish to avoid entanglement, so they hide behind their screens, of their phones, tablets, computers, and TVs. I accept your challenge and I hope you are able to have more meaningful interactions with the people you come in contact with on a daily basis!

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  49. The slice of toast you left on Culture is an interesting read. Yes, echo the maxim of making life more meaningful and then it is a concern in this technocratic culture. Anand Bose from Kerala

    Liked by 1 person

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