Like a Woman Scorned…

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

This post tonight, is being served with a side of indignation.

Because I am angry.

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I hesitate to post this, because, well…you’ll see. But I need to vent.

You see, I’ve recently started reaching out to various potential sponsors for my blog. Exciting times, I know.

So I contacted an eating disorder treatment center this afternoon. Wrote them a beautiful letter, inviting them to check out my blog.

And this woman sends me back a one-liner: “Certainly promotes being skinny!”

Exclamation point.

Certainly promotes being skinny…exclamation point.

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of the are-you-freaking-kidding-me explosion of outrage detonating inside my soul.

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But more than outraged, I was just hurt.

First of all…the fact that a mental health professional wrote such a derogatory word to a former anorexic is just the epitome of insensitive.

But this blog is an extension of my soul. Literally. I have poured out everything I have – my spirit, my weaknesses, failings, struggles, triumphs, fears — everything — in the hopes that even one person would read my words and feel comforted that they’re not alone. Find hope. Encouragement. And for someone to merely reduce it to something as superficial as being about promoting “being skinny” — it was just an ice cold slap in the face.

During my anorexia, I nearly died in the quest for “skinniness.” I starved myself down to 78 pounds, and even then, I didn’t believe that I was “skinny” enough. The scale and my reflection tormented my spirit and led me to destroy relationships, miss my high school graduation, delay college, become infertile, plague my self-worth and seriously damage my relationship with God. Not to mention becoming osteopenic as an 18-year-old girl, flirting with death.

Skinny almost killed me. And I’ll be damned if I ever do anything remotely close to promoting it.

Lastly, I don’t mean to be all “over-sensitive.” I mean, I can hear my father reading this right now, going, “Just let it go…” (In the most loving way possible, of course.)

But I took this very personally. I mean, it goes without saying that my image is all over this blog. And, okay…maybe too much, I’ll admit.

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But, I have been very open with the fact that I have Ulcerative Colitis. And the way I have stayed in remission for the last six years is through a radical, therapeutic diet, called the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. (SCD) The Seattle Children’s Hospital actually just published a study a few weeks ago, proving that it cured 80% of the participants with Crohn’s/Colitis.

But it’s how I have to eat, and I have done a damn good job, if I do say so myself, because it is hard. But it is what I have to do to stay in remission. I was on bed rest for eleven months with an Ulcerative Colitis flare in 2011 that nearly took my life, and the SCD saved me – (and my intestines from being removed). In fact, I even published a cookbook with my SCD recipes.

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UC Flare ’11

BUT – all that being said, I am very well aware that this therapeutic way of eating keeps me slim. But I work hard to maintain a healthy weight, and I do. And I do not appreciate getting slapped with the term “skinny” from this mental health professional who apparently only qualifies women as “recovered” if they are on the high end of normal.

I’m sorry, would you like me to send you my vitals and recent blood work?

I just. I have no words.

And I’m sorry if this sounds like an eye-roll-worthy rant fest from a thin girl complaining for getting called “skinny.” Believe me, I know that there are far more pressing issues in the world.

So. To placate this insular inferno…here are six things this blog does promote.

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1) Loving God, because without Him, we can do nothing.

2) Loving other people, because everyone is on a journey, and could use a friend along the way.

3) Claiming the truth that you are loved by the Creator, and deserve to live in that abundant joy each and every day.

4) Accept and embrace our short comings and weaknesses, because they do not define us, and have been forgiven and redeemed through Christ.

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5) Recognizing that I have worth and value because Christ died for me, and nothing in my past – even an eating disorder – can negate that fact.

6) Loving Christ in you…therefore, loving yourself.


So there you go. If you’ll notice, “being skinny” is not on the list of things I promote.

Never has been. Never will be.

Hope that clears things up…

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**** On that note…If you or your business would like to sponsor/advertise on BBB, let’s talk! —> beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com 😉

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

546 thoughts on “Like a Woman Scorned…

  1. Ugh. Audacity is a real thing. I hope after a bit of time you can put that lame person’s hurtful comment behind you and see that you have almost 500 comments on this post alone, so you are clearly HELPING PEOPLE. We are bloggers and female and kind, so whenever one person brings you down, well, you’ve got 500 reading and ready to lift you back up, girl.
    Keep writing!
    Brittany

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks so much Brittany, I really appreciate your incredibly kind words. Yeah, gotta just put it in the past and focus on the good. Thanks for stopping by and for the encouragement! big hugs xo

      Like

  2. You matter. Your life’s experiences matter. You never know how your words may affect another positively. Being online opens one’s Self to others for better or for worst. As Joseph Campbell said in the famous Bill Moyer interviews, following your bliss is not something easy, but it fills you up (and I paraphrase). Keep true to yourself.

    Like

  3. Sponsored posts aren’t necessarily all that great. They might want you to say something that makes you sound incredibly stupid and then refuse to let you label it as a sponsored post. At least that was my experience with them.

    Like

  4. I’m brand new to this website, but WOW! This is such an amazing post! It’s so true! I had a problem with an eating disorder during my senior year of high school, so I can relate. I love the way you incorporated God into it too, because a lot of times people are shy about that. Your blog is awesome, thanks for being so courageous and sharing your story with others.

    Like

  5. Thank you for visiting my blog and for liking my posts. I was so glad I read this post of yours because I am a recovering anorexic and have very bad colitis too. I am dependent on a feeding tube because I don’t absorb much, then lose it through diarrhea. People don’t understand. I know how skinny I am and I don’t like it. It makes me physically weak and I often feel vulnerable and incompetent because I can’t work full time anymore. Thank you for writing about your experience. I am not alone, nor are you!

    Like

  6. “Promotes being skinny”…………………….knows nothing that person! Thank you for your blog. I love how you say we are all recovering from something. I am a person with bipolar disorder. A friend’s psychiatrist was surprised that she was able to work. Hello! Over 2% of the population has bipolar disorder………………There are many of us who feel blessed that we are able to work fine – thank you very much! I wish the people who are successful or just able to be productive made the headlines – along with – the majority of people who can’t work because of their illness would love to work! I have started using a word way too much: Idiots! Thank you!

    Like

  7. Here I was thinking I would tell you we probably just had one thing in common, our love of Christ. Now, however, I find we also eat differently from most people. For various health reasons i became a ovo-lacto vegetarian that doesn’t eat green vegetables. It seems to be working for me. What I really wanted to tell you is how much I admire and respect you for how you have dealt, in God’s love and care, with your problems.

    Like

  8. Wow! I was just going to thank you for liking the latest posting in AgnellusMirror, where my dear Grandmother needed no second invitation to help me on the road to recovery. And then I read this. I hear enough about insensitive professionals to realise that we all need the salt of conscience and humility. And maybe a wise grandparent or parent, as you with your father. How is your mother?
    Maurice.

    Like

  9. I like your observation that when you love Christ in you, you can love yourself. Very wise for one so young. It’s also a prerequisite for following Christ’s admonition to love your neighbor as you love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, well then your neighbors are likely to be treated pretty lousy, too.

    Keep up the good work with the diet. My mother-in-law was recently diagnosed with Crohn/s/ulcerative colitis. I think I’ll recommend she look into the diet you are following.

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    1. oh gosh thank you so much S. I really appreciate your encouraging words. I’m sorry to hear that your mother in law is fighting that. Yes! do pass it along because it literally changed my life and put my disease into remission. thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

      Like

  10. Keep on writing! Your story is so inspirational and touching. Haters ‘gonna hate. But you keep shining the light and word of God because you are helping someone out there. God bless you! ❤

    Like

  11. You had every right to feel the way you did, but then don’t let it depress you. Release that ugly anger. Love your butternut ice cream recipe, going to have to share it with my sisters and try it myself. Thanks for the like!

    Like

  12. We may never know when a door closes or one doesn’t open why this has happened. But, often, there is something much bigger and better planned. I have found that rather than stress myself out in trying to force the outcome that I believe is best, if I let go (and essentially let God), I am in the flow and things work out much better. Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you will find inspiration there and I wish you the best of luck with yours — wherever it leads you.

    Like

  13. Dear Little Sister (dear to the Savior, dear to me; little-much younger in age and faith; sister-fellow believer),
    You do promote what is good and right, and I applaud that. However, could it be that “The lady doth protest too much, methinks”? Please hear out my gentle rebuke. The lady was insensitive to say what she did, and yet it may have come from a discernment that this site may harm some recoverers because you appear to have succeeded at the very thing your disease promoted. I understand your diet, since my wife is on it, too. You have been open and vulnerable and gracious, until now. Be humble young one. Apply God’s grace to your reaction to this insensitivity. I know it pushed your buttons and it hurts. Why does it hurt? Is it not partially because you have a bit of vanity to still deal with? I am not saying don’t show pictures of yourself, but you admitted that there are too many. Ask God to rebalance your presentation of yourself in order to be used more deeply by Him. God has given you physical and inward beauty to glorify Himself. Utilize it modestly and have joy instead of hurt feelings. I look forward to reading more of your insights.

    Like

  14. I hope you will continue to listen to God about how crazy He is for you! Don’t listen to the voices of other people who might put you down. The 10 other spies “melted the hearts of the people” because people listened to them instead of trusting God. You are lovely inside and out…a precious daughter of the King. Thanks for all you do to help those who struggle. The world is a better place because you are in it!

    Like

  15. This is an excellent article, I enjoyed your ‘rant’ everyone needs to blow off steam once in awhile when they are being bombarded with stupidity from people who are suppose to be ‘experts’ yet know basically nothing, sort of like most all of the VA doctors I have experienced throughout the past 30 years. I am very glad that your eyes are now on the Light.

    Like

  16. I am glad you visited my page but I am even more grateful that I then found yours. I feel a kindred goal with you and that is great.
    I wanted to comment on something you said though.. it might just be a little thing but nevertheless here is my comment.
    You said that our experiences don’t define us. While I do believe the word “define” is not the best word to describe it – they do NOT define us. But our experiences do make up who we are by shaping our inner being. The bad experiences are ones we can learn from and hopefully change, if needed. And the good experiences? They are a gift from God and they can still teach us.
    This was not meant to be criticism and I do get the point of your blog. I have also struggled, but mainly just with feeling fat. I haven’t actually tried being anorexic or bulimic thanks to my sister who was a nurse and helped me through the times when I considered those an option.
    God bless you in your journey. You seem to have a lot of readers so I hope that they each receive the wisdom and insight you are providing with the Love you are giving.
    Sincerely, MaggieASpoon
    (I hope I expressed myself well here. Its early in the AM and I didnt get much sleep.)

    Like

    1. Thank you so much for sharing your story Maggie. I really appreciate your kind words. I’m so glad that your sister was there for you during that time. Thanks for stopping by. Big hugs to you friend xox

      Like

  17. I probably suffer from eating more than I should rather than the other way around, but either way you slice it, I’ve also overcome a disorder of my own. I’ve been sober for nearly 8 years, and I know what its like to struggle to overcome your past, especially when someone is threatening the perspective you have on it. I appreciate your openness and honesty and even though my struggle isn’t with an eating disorder, I appreciate the community that those recovering from disorders provide to each other. So its good to hear again that I am not alone, and I hope your journey through this has affirmed that same, that you are not alone! Keep writing. I’ll keep reading. Best to you and your journey!

    Like

    1. Thank you for sharing your story. That’s so awesome that you’ve been sober for nearly 8 years. Wow that is something to celebrate. Praying for you in your recovery. Sending big big hugs xox

      Like

  18. Well that was close!! You nearly had someone who would talk to people like that as a sponsor! Lucky escape!!

    Praying that with time the sting of this statement has fallen away. ❤️

    Like

  19. This world really has its challenging people doesn’t it? You are a lovely young woman doing a lovely thing. I love your picture re: masterpiece and work in progress! How is your Mom doing? May God continue to bless, strengthen, comfort and guide you. 🙂

    Like

  20. Your gifs are unbeatable😂😂

    But my favorite part of this post: number six.

    Loving Christ in you…therefore, loving yourself.

    This whole obsession with self love or culture is going through is…well wrong. I love the way you put it, loving the Christ in us is what self love should be!

    Like

    1. haha thanks so much. Yeah, number six is my favorite too 🙂 it kind of sums everything up. and you’re right – body positivity and self love — i wish the focus would be more on the Who in us, rather than just the “us.” Thanks for your thoughts! hugs x

      Like

  21. Well now. Some people are just plain crass, insensitive, flippant and just don’t have a clue. Along with being quiet thoughtless. As it seems was the case with this mental health practitioner you recently dealt with. It does make you wonder what are they doing in such a profession. I am sure many people find your writing helpful and informative. Thanks for checking out a few recent posts and likin ghtem. I appreciate it.

    Michael.

    Like

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