Like a Woman Scorned…

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

This post tonight, is being served with a side of indignation.

Because I am angry.

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I hesitate to post this, because, well…you’ll see. But I need to vent.

You see, I’ve recently started reaching out to various potential sponsors for my blog. Exciting times, I know.

So I contacted an eating disorder treatment center this afternoon. Wrote them a beautiful letter, inviting them to check out my blog.

And this woman sends me back a one-liner: “Certainly promotes being skinny!”

Exclamation point.

Certainly promotes being skinny…exclamation point.

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of the are-you-freaking-kidding-me explosion of outrage detonating inside my soul.

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But more than outraged, I was just hurt.

First of all…the fact that a mental health professional wrote such a derogatory word to a former anorexic is just the epitome of insensitive.

But this blog is an extension of my soul. Literally. I have poured out everything I have – my spirit, my weaknesses, failings, struggles, triumphs, fears — everything — in the hopes that even one person would read my words and feel comforted that they’re not alone. Find hope. Encouragement. And for someone to merely reduce it to something as superficial as being about promoting “being skinny” — it was just an ice cold slap in the face.

During my anorexia, I nearly died in the quest for “skinniness.” I starved myself down to 78 pounds, and even then, I didn’t believe that I was “skinny” enough. The scale and my reflection tormented my spirit and led me to destroy relationships, miss my high school graduation, delay college, become infertile, plague my self-worth and seriously damage my relationship with God. Not to mention becoming osteopenic as an 18-year-old girl, flirting with death.

Skinny almost killed me. And I’ll be damned if I ever do anything remotely close to promoting it.

Lastly, I don’t mean to be all “over-sensitive.” I mean, I can hear my father reading this right now, going, “Just let it go…” (In the most loving way possible, of course.)

But I took this very personally. I mean, it goes without saying that my image is all over this blog. And, okay…maybe too much, I’ll admit.

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But, I have been very open with the fact that I have Ulcerative Colitis. And the way I have stayed in remission for the last six years is through a radical, therapeutic diet, called the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. (SCD) The Seattle Children’s Hospital actually just published a study a few weeks ago, proving that it cured 80% of the participants with Crohn’s/Colitis.

But it’s how I have to eat, and I have done a damn good job, if I do say so myself, because it is hard. But it is what I have to do to stay in remission. I was on bed rest for eleven months with an Ulcerative Colitis flare in 2011 that nearly took my life, and the SCD saved me – (and my intestines from being removed). In fact, I even published a cookbook with my SCD recipes.

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UC Flare ’11

BUT – all that being said, I am very well aware that this therapeutic way of eating keeps me slim. But I work hard to maintain a healthy weight, and I do. And I do not appreciate getting slapped with the term “skinny” from this mental health professional who apparently only qualifies women as “recovered” if they are on the high end of normal.

I’m sorry, would you like me to send you my vitals and recent blood work?

I just. I have no words.

And I’m sorry if this sounds like an eye-roll-worthy rant fest from a thin girl complaining for getting called “skinny.” Believe me, I know that there are far more pressing issues in the world.

So. To placate this insular inferno…here are six things this blog does promote.

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1) Loving God, because without Him, we can do nothing.

2) Loving other people, because everyone is on a journey, and could use a friend along the way.

3) Claiming the truth that you are loved by the Creator, and deserve to live in that abundant joy each and every day.

4) Accept and embrace our short comings and weaknesses, because they do not define us, and have been forgiven and redeemed through Christ.

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5) Recognizing that I have worth and value because Christ died for me, and nothing in my past – even an eating disorder – can negate that fact.

6) Loving Christ in you…therefore, loving yourself.


So there you go. If you’ll notice, “being skinny” is not on the list of things I promote.

Never has been. Never will be.

Hope that clears things up…

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**** On that note…If you or your business would like to sponsor/advertise on BBB, let’s talk! —> beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com 😉

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546 responses to “Like a Woman Scorned…”

  1. Amen…As a guy reading this, this so-called “professional” wasn’t being even decent in the reply. I mean, c’mon, that reply was insensitive.

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  2. Wow, I can’t believe that woman. Someone needs to work in a different sector of this the kind of stuff coming out of her mouth. Super disappointing, but I love that you mentioned all the things your blog DOES promote. You know who you are and what your blog is about. You know your values and what you want to share with the world, so try not to be discouraged by this one person. You will find sponsors and they will align with your blog and what it DOES promote. ❤️😁

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  3. Dear Beauty,

    Welcome to the reality of those that treat others in the mental health system. this is what we and many others like have to deal with daily. Sadly, we have all been programmed to believe that mental health professionals are somehow, in some regards, smarter and better people. Nope. The public mental health system – Welcome to it, my friend. It only gets worse – You would be surprised some of the s**t those stuck in the mental system have to deal with.

    Including people like that.

    Keep rockin it.
    M
    EK
    M

    Reply

  4. Your story is truely an inspirational one and I thank you so much for sharing. My oldest daughter works as a missionary and works with a group called Beauty Arise that promotes the idea for girls to find their worth and beauty in the eyes of Christ. My daughter works with models and other young girls and promotes that they are important and that God loves them. Keep sharing as I know your words reach so many who if not dealing with this issue has a loved one or a friend that does.

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  6. Never once have I thought that reading your posts dear one! I’m so sorry she wrote that. It is unbelievable, and I hope she apologizes. Our crosses are not for the purpose of self-promotion. If we had it to do Over we would not want our illnesses! God is our judge and comforter!

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  7. I’m sorry I can’t sponsor you. No money. 🙂

    It’s tough in the world right now because there’s thing called fat acceptance. We need to knock all this stuff off. Everyone should just know they are a precious child of God, thick or thin. Just know it, deep in your spirit. The problem with these cultural narratives is that they try to apply a one size fits all solution to diverse people. So absolutely, fat acceptance is wonderful, until you have type two diabetes and trouble getting up the stairs. Being thin is awesome too, unless you’re recovering from pneumonia or walking through chemo or something. It’s the health beneath the surface that we need to think about,the well being of the one involved. Fat acceptance is much like the flip side of mandatory thinness that we’ve seen the media. They’re all designed to make us place our own worth and value in something external and flimsy. We need to start believing what God says about us,and He says we are to die for.

    I always find it kind of interesting that Jesus Himself is an ordinary man, not particularly handsome, having no real charisma. Now of course He’s not ordinary at all, He’s extraordinary, but physically the bible makes a point of letting us know His specialness had nothing to do with his outward appearance.

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    • haha thanks friend. But seriously, thank you for your encouragement. You’re right – we need to grasp onto what He says about us, because it is the truth, and it was enough to die for. thanks for your support! big hugs xox

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  9. Uhh…..What?

    Seriously. Just what? Did she even take the time to read your blog? Or did she just scroll through the text and look at your pictures? Because…What???

    I don’t get it. 🙁

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  10. I sometimes why certain people are in the jobs they are. It’s pretty clear this person has no business working in any type of mental health healing position. You have a wonderful blog, and I know all your readers agree. Keep writing and inspiring. xo

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  11. Psst… don’t tell anyone but along with giving a courageous witness, you’re teaching me to write as well! God bless!

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  12. Oh goodness… One comment that rattles me is ‘I wish I had that problem!’ As in, I explain I have a hormone disorder and it keeps me thin and they literally say they wish they had that problem… I never really know what to say to that.

    I don’t promote thinness, either. Health is what we’re after. Physical, emotional, spiritual… And for what it’s worth, I’ve never gotten a message of ‘think thin’ on your blog.

    It’s sort of scary to think how that professional might be damaging those in recovery…

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    • Thanks for this, Britt. Oh gosh, that is definitely a hurtful remark to receive. I’m so sorry to hear that!! You’re right – health is multifaceted and thank you for being you and sharing your story to help others! big hugs xox

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  13. How insensitive for that comment to be made!!!!. Just for the record, you are a survivor, and person of exceptional talent and a knockout in looks. So give a thumbs down to that foolish person and move on in the knowledge you have more too you than that person does. 🙂

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  14. Wow, what kind of reply is that?! Totally unprofessional for that to come from a business! Kudos to you for reaching out to sponsors though, that is something I really want to get into but just haven’t had the time to get started. Hopefully you find other people to be more kind as you continue your search.

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  16. I think that in order to divulge, it is necessary to speak with the greatest number of people, and be prepared for refusals. Negative contacts are part of the plan and positives as well. Mood and good luck!

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  17. Ugh, how sucky… But that one liner response tells you all the unfortunate truth you need to know about that particular person. They don’t get it. They don’t GET IT. They don’t understand the disease, the recovery efforts, the depth, not even the vocabulary. My mom used to tell me, “Consider the source.” Try not to let someone so obviously misinformed and uncouth impact your feelings so strongly. Your path is well beyond her current understanding. You are impacting lives in a positive, Christ-filled way every day, just on your blog! It most certainly is hard to let these things go, but you’re amazing and deserve to allow yourself to dismiss that pain. Hugs your way!

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    • Thanks friend. I really appreciate the support and hugs 🙂 I love your mom’s advice – she sounds like a smart woman. Definitely taking that to heart. Thanks again for your wonderfully kind words. means the world. big hugs xox

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  20. This definitely resonates with me! I was born 3 months early and have always been petite. I hate when people say things like ‘you should really eat more/eat a burger,’ or think I’m unhealthy (even anorexic once!) because I also work hard to maintain a healthy weight. Yes, I’m smaller than many other people, but that doesn’t mean I’m unhealthy. I’m healthy in my own standards. It’s bums me out and is really unfair when people assume things about our weight/size, especially when they don’t know our story. As cliche as ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’ is, it’s always true.

    As always, I love reading your blogs! I hope you’re having a relaxing evening.

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    • Hi friend, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m sorry you can relate. Yeah – health comes in all shapes and sizes, and at the end of the day, it’s what’s on the inside that counts! Thanks for stopping by and for your encouragement! hugs xox

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    • I can totally relate to this! I’ve been called skinny all my life and people will never understand how insulting that can be. I don’t think it’s fair that it’s totally wrong to call someone “fat” or “overweight” but it’s okay to tell someone they need to go eat something. After having a baby back in February I was able to keep some of the weight that I had gained during my pregnancy and I finally started becoming comfortable in my skin but now as that weight slowly falls off, so is my confidence. I guess at some point we just have to move and embrace the way that God made us!

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  21. I’ll be honest here – reading this made me tear up a bit. It’s unfathomable to me that any health care practitioner in any discipline could speak to you in that manner. So far beyond rude. I see you and your website as a very positive inspiration for others affected with what you’ve been through. I believe you are a woman of great strength and courage – people such as you spoke to and was so rude to you, will never get in your way. Keep up your good works my friend, and by the way, you look fabulously healthy to me. Be well!! ❤️

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    • Thanks so much Wayne, I appreciate it so much. You’re right — Gotta pray for her. Just gotta say, you were one of the first to believe in me — way back when I did your podcast, and you gave me so much encouragement and confidence to really get out there and tell my story, so thank you with all my heart 🙂 big hugs xo

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  23. Oh my goodness, I don’t even know where to begin. Exactly where on your blog does it “Certainly promotes being skinny!”? I mean, I’ve only been reading your blog since January this year but I am confused as to where I find the “promoting skinny” section. I’d be a little more than offended and really want an expansion of “Certainly promotes being skinny!” and where exactly that message is being conveyed. *deep breath* ok, thoughts a little calmer, there’s your sign that this “organization” is not a sponsor you want to have. If that is the sensitivity, compassion, and attention they possess then I feel for the people they are suppose to be helping.

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    • Thanks Margaret. Yeah, definitely nowhere on this blog! :Thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement. I really appreciate your support. means a lot. hope you’re having a great night! big hugs xo

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      • You’re welcome, and I sorry if I came off as judgmental of that “professionals” comment but things that make utterly no sense to me, like their comment rubs me entirely the wrong way. I’ll pray that that God reveals to them the magnitude of a comment like that, for you to have a sponsor He wants you to have, and for me to not let things like that rub me the wrong way. Pray your night is good as well xoxo

  24. Hey Caralyn. I would say it is obvious that person does not read your blog. If she did, she would see God’s Love, love God, Christ, Christ’s love, love Christ, love others, Christ, love yourself because Christ loved each of us enough to die for us, written all through each blog.
    One other thing, perhaps two, I would pick out from her hastily sent, thoughtless note, she is certainly not a professional, and not a lady, responding that way.

    To quote you, (using a word that my Dad also used many years):
    Anywho, don’t pay attention to her, keep on your with your tremendous ministry, blog, teaching sessions, encouragements, because you are a blessing, and you are blessing many.

    God Bless you, Caralyn,
    💐 Luv and Hugs,

    George

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  25. So sad. Like one of the commenters above, I wonder if your open embrace of not just “faith” but Jesus himself is the actual problem here. He gets less socially acceptable every year, it seems. Bless you for your good work.

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  26. Wow. Disturbing and sad on a number of levels. Hope you’re okay? You know we don’t think that of you! That person needs our prayers.
    And I did not know that about your diet. Thank you for sharing. All of it. ❤
    God bless.

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  27. Great post! You share so many honest, encouraging, beautiful things on your blog. As someone who has suffered from ulcerative colitis, I have been accused of being too skinny. People definitely do not think before they speak sometimes. Please keep sharing your story!! You are a blessing!

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  28. I have to say that I am completely embarrassed for that individual. All I can say is that I HOPE and pray that it was an office assistant and not an actual “professional”. It would help me sleep better knowing that anyway. I cant stand for people to take jabs at someone in such a way when they dont think about what their words could mean in the other person’s mind. I just want to let you know that I absolutely love what you have done with your blog. I aspire to have the nerve to share my demons as you do. I recently found you when you liked one of my posts and I am so happy that you did! I myself have recently come to light on my eating disorder which is on the other side of the spectrum from yours but regardless of that you give me strength to tell my story!

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    • Thank you so much. Yeah it was a pretty bone head remark. Thank you from the. Bottom of my heart for your kind words about my blog. That seriously means so much. I’m really glad our paths crossed!! Rock on warrior!!! Know I am cheering you on 🙂 Big hugs xox

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  30. I am truly sorry that you had to go through that. But you are a daughter of the King. You are beautiful, strong, courageous, and an inspiration to many. I understand the hurt. I too have poured out my vulnerable heart sharing the hard times and victories in my tiny little blog about overcoming depression and alcohol abuse. I was searching Scripture and this came to me for you, I hope it will encourage your heart like it did mine. 1 Peter 3:13-22 (ESV) “Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame…” and this came to me as well…Ephesians 4:26 (NIV) “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry…” The joy of the Lord is your strength, amen? God bless you. I am cheering you on and standing in the gap. The Lord is going to bring the right sponsors to you. I just know it. ♥

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    • Thanks Debbie. Wow this is. Beautiful. Thank you so much. And my goodness what a powerful verse. Thanks for sharing that. And thank you for sharing your story too. You let strength is inspiring and I know God is smiling on you:) Hugs and love xox

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  33. Wow. Of all the things I think when I read your blog, it being about promoting being “skinny” is not one of them. I can understand how you feel, and I think: consider the source. In today’s world a lot of people who are “helping”? really are not. They are promoting their own agenda about whatever the issue is. You present this particular material in a different way and that always raises at least some fur. While I am not “Christian” I appreciate the basic tenet of LOVE and walking in faith. You put this forth understandably, consistently, and well, and also create in the process a really good description of what happens when you MUST go deep enough to discover those things. Deep breath. It’s just one more experience, more information. Peace out!

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  36. Sounds like a clueless impersonal “professional” who doesn’t care a lick about who you are or who you are reaching. Caralyn (did I spell that right?), you are a beautiful writer! You write of God’s grace in your life and I consistently see more of HIM than you. Keep writing. I know you won’t stop, but I just had to say it. 🙂

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  37. I know it’s not quite on the same level, but as someone who is desperate enough for a job to work retail, who literally just applied to Kohl’s not even an hour ago, and got a rejection letter not even 10 minutes after applying… Ugh… It’s so frustrating.

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  38. I can’t believe someone would say that! I’m outraged for you. I am so inspired through your blog and the thought that you promoted skinny has never ever crossed my mind.

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  39. Best friend’s grandson has had colitis all through his teens and early 20s and I know how the diet can keep one on the thin side. Recently the doctors here in Kitchener performed a new experimental treatment which seems to have worked. He has gained about 20 pounds in the last two months and feels healthy. (he may be cured);
    People often comment without knowing all the background facts. Shame on that “professional”. Don’t let her/him bother you. You have, as my wife says in one of her poems, “the eyes to see and the words to tell the truths that are most true.” Keep up the good work.

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    • Oh gosh I’m so sorry to hear that he also knows the struggle, but I’m so glad that his treatment is working! That’s terrific! And what true words – sounds like an awesome poem. Thanks for sharing. Hugs and love xox

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  43. That woman obviously has some serious issues that she needs to have addressed!!! Your blog has never been anything about being skinny. Don’t let her get to you, and I know that’s easier said than done. You just keep being your beautiful you and you keep looking to Christ. He said that He gives believers everything we need that pertains to life and godliness, so you just keep your eyes on Him! I love your blog and I love what you stand for!!

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  44. Yeah I will be very angry to if I was in your shoes from what you say you been through. I had few things I been through some dark, cruel, and hurt feelings of my speech impediment that I gotten a lot better with from being a kid and haven’t had any problems with people, also with “MOCKING” that I hated the most of, of being in school, since I was in school.
    So I can understand your anger from those words.

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      • I’m over my stuff now, but if I ever get mock by someone plushly by a man, they going to get one hell of punch from mocking me, but I will never hit a woman but I might but my hand into a fist and slam it down or hit something with the button my fist on something real hard but not the woman.

  45. Caralyn, Oh the words that are currently trying to escape my lips are NSFW. Not one of them. I want to encourage you to reach out to the management of the company and share this email response with them. This is unprofessional, inappropriate, and dismissive. I would go further and say dangerous. Actually I’m going to say it, it’s dangerous. Gah! This really makes me angry. I would like for this to be a “Let it Go” moment. *cue Idina” but it’s not. Oh bleeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
    And yes I am still a good Catholic girl who’s really pissed.

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  46. You are a beautiful woman inside and out! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s ok to be angry when people are mean and insensitive. Just tell them how it is so they know and move on. People think just because you’re Christian they can walk all over you… I have a lot more to say about that so watch this space. You stay gorgeous! xxx

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  47. You are a beautiful young woman. You are thin, but knowing what you went through explains that. It is outrageous that a professional would slap you verbally across your smiling face. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope you feel better for having written it.

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  48. Amen! And praise the Lord for how well you are now. And I don’t think you’re skinny, for whatever that’s worth. Hopefully you get over the other problem, I pray that will be the case. Great to hear of your diet. My wife is into that kind of thing, and I more or less follow. 🙂

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  49. Don’t shut down the light of your greatness because someone is too blinded to see it, doing so will rob this generation of your awesomeness. I believe in your work.

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  50. Hi Carolyn, I just read your latest blog post and am very upset about how some people responded. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I know it wasn’t easy and I just wish more people could take some times and just try to understand your struggles, your path to recovery, and your unwavering faith in Christ Jesus. You are strong Carolyn; no amount of negativity can bring you down. Love you Sister. I pray that God would continue use you in so many ways to inspire others and to encourage others to hold on even when life gets tough. You are the warrior for Christ. I am so proud of you!! ❤️❤️👍😊

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    • Oh my gosh I am so touched by your kind and generous worlds. Thank you friend. Your prayers and support mean the absolute world. Sending so much love and hugs xox

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  51. I am grateful for the list of things you do promote, all TRUE and all GOOD. I wonder if the professional’s response was more about your faith which perhaps is offensive to their world view.

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  52. Hey BBB, you know what they say. When one door closes, a wave of them open up. I’ve learned that sometimes the circles we feel as though we’ll be useful, is not even the place where God wants us. So many doors are going to open for you, until you won’t even remember the one that closed. Thanks for venting, we all need to do that from time to time and you have so many supporters that don’t mind listening, including me. Keep pushing mama…

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    • Hi Roshonda, thank you so much for this encouragement. You are amazing, you know it? 🙂 yes, gotta look for the other doors God will open 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  53. Oh Caralyn dearest, the disillusioned, tortured souls that work in the system… We pray for them as well, because they themselves are attacked more often than we know and they don’t need any more angry thoughts if they are to help anyone. Let us remember that God uses everyone for good. Thank you so much for venting here, your blog is always perfect as Heaven knows are You at any moment and WILL find your way, and those not fortunate enough to have such supportive family and friends, could use our silent kindness. Your indignation is fully understood and embraced, do listen to this amazing father of yours, and know that many of us shield you against jealousy and envy with our hearts and guardian angels
    (telling mine to tell yours to give you the most replenishing, healing embrace tonight)
    💜🙏 Leon

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  54. I am sending you so much love and Light. <3 Forgiveness is one of the greatest things that helped me heal an eating disorder, and to realize – without a shadow of a doubt – that God loves me as God's child. Just was called to share that with you. Happy to chat further if you ever want to do that. My email is weloveyou@forgivingconnects.com.

    Thank you for the service and courage you bring with this blog to your readers, and many blessings,
    Debbie

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    • Thank you so much Debbie. What a kind thing to say. I so appreciate your encouragement. – loved as His child. What a beautiful thought. Sending so much love xox

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  55. Whoever this person is she sounds super unprofessional. If she were she would know to be careful with what she says. Anything can be taken the wrong way.

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  56. Because some one is being paid for their work does not make them a professional. For many and certainly for the one who gave that reply being paid only is an indication that they are for sale…. cheap. They are a professional health services prostitutes who do not have professional knowledge attitude or ethics. This person only insulted you. Big deal. Imagine the destruction they are bringing into the lives of their fragile wounded clients. That is something truly serious and a word to the society or organization that they are accountable to is definately in order. You go girl.

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    • Thank you so much for your support, Jack. You’re right – we all need to be mindful of the words that come out of our mouths because they really do have power. Thanks so much for this powerful food for thought. Hugs and love xox

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  57. Don’t let the idiotas and jerks and small minded subhumans and a-holes get to you. You know who you are and that is the most important fact. That woman is a horror reflected showing you how broken medicine has become because it and those in it have lost heart. Not all medical professionals granted but a hell of a lot. When the time is right the perfect opportunities will present themselves. Worry not. Rage not. God’s got this!! 💕🌸💕

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  58. I’ll never understand why some people feel like it would just kill them to be nice, or at the very least, show the same respect to others that they show them. That woman doesn’t sound like she’s very good at her job. I haven’t been following you for very long but I never once got the impression that you were promoting being skinny. I picked up that you were a woman that loves God and is just trying to find her way and that’s what drew me to your blog. Keep on keeping on because I certainly enjoy reading what you have to say. God bless!

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  59. Obviously, this person didn’t even look at your blog or take the time to see past the photos, which, by the way look “normal” to me. You don’t want to be part of that company if that’s the sort of snap judgments they make, though I feel sorry for their patients. Hopefully their patients are getting better treatment than a single sentence and a kick out the door. People will ALWAYS judge. I’ve never been anorexic and won’t even pretend to slightly know what you’ve been through. But I’ve been called anorexic all of my life by people because of my weight, so I understand the “skinny judgement”. It’s a real thing. You’re doing a wonderful thing with this blog and any treatment center would be lucky to have you as an affiliate. Listen to your Dad…he’s a wise man. Sending you hugs 🙂

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    • Thanks so much Lisa, you’re really kind to say that. you’re right – gotta just keep on keeping on and brush it off. I’m sorry you’ve been called such a hurtful thing – it is just not right. Thanks for your kindness. Yes! Letting it go 🙂 big hugs back atcha! xox

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  62. Darling. Her response had nothing to do with you personally. She doesn’t know you…the real you. Let it go, and move on. Neeeexxxxt? Much love. xxx

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  63. I doubt she even took the time to visit your pages and read a few blog entries.

    Unfortunately, we’re surrounded by so-called professionals that are everything but. A paper does not make you a professional. Experience and genuine care and passion in what you do and responsibility do. And leaving aside presuming and assuming you know what a book is about by just looking at its cover. Even worse, forming and sharing an unfounded opinion with insufficient information or research.

    You did the right by sharing this experience and getting it out of your chest. You don’t want to bottle anger up.

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    • Thanks so much Maria. Yeah, not judging a book by its cover may be a cliche, but it sure is true! especially when you’re the “book!” haha thanks for your kindness. hugs xox

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  64. Dear Carolyn, allow me a moment of your time. You have heard what some health care professionals think. For the record having a leather couch from a Sears catalog and a certificate that cost all but $15 to print off at the nearest Staples doesn’t make her an expert but rather an idiot. You’re readers know what you have sacaficed to write such a book with never ending chapters. Your blog is an indication of the victory that God received when he reached you. You’re smile is just a simple reminder to the general public of God’s love for his children like you. So if Jesus Christ be in you you have nothing to fear and nothing to fear worry about. Let peecedcution allow to know Jesus in his suffering. Think on six divine thoughts of God because I will tell you I have followed your blog for 2 years now and I enjoy your words. To some they may be just words but your readers of more than 25k know you and your heart and I think I speak for everyone hear when I say, your heart is beautiful. So be strong and of a good courage. You’re not a ashamed of the Gospel and God is proud of you. Your smile isn’t so bad either.😃

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  65. Ssssssoooo one of my sayings in life is, “it always helps to know who has the problem”…is it me or the other person. It sets you free. If it is the other person, then I know to pray for that person. If it is me, then I know to to talk to God about me. It is obvious that she has an issue so ask God to help you know how to fervently, effectually pray for this person. Just think she is most likely dealing with others who have not come as far as you have and can do much damage. So defeat the enemy who wants to destroy your peace and joy by refusing to be angry and be a prayer warrior. Trust God all the way. He does not fail. 🙂

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    • Wow, that is such a great saying. That one is going on a post-it and going on the fridge! 🙂 haha seriously though – powerful stuff. Thanks for sharing that. yes, gotta pray for her and trust the goodness of God! big hugs xox

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  66. Wow BBB this is incredibly powerful. As someone who had similar internal struggles but with bullyig I can sympathize your feelings to this reaction. This post is so powerful and I think what you are doing is so incredibly amazing! Please, never stop. 🙂

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    • Hi John, gosh what a kind comment. thank you so much. I’m sorry that you can so personally relate. Know that I’m grateful for you and I think you’re awesome 🙂 hehe hugs xox

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  67. Oh my GOODNESS!! The very idea, the nerve even! Did she even care to consider what you might have been through? That’s too rude, and I am covering you in prayer, dear one. I shudder to think, though, of the lives she might be destroying with that attitude of hers! YOU, on the other hand, be blessed in knowing that you have so many people behind you. Shake that dust off your feet, girl! 😉

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  68. Good Morning Sweetheart, I hope you are having a great day full of joy. Unfortunately, Some people judge wrongly and say faulty stuff without realizing it. What you are doing is amazing. I am sure god has a better plan for you and the right sponsors will join you soon. so never give up and have hope. I would love to hear your honest opinion about my blogs page. If you have any advice for me on a way to improve my blogs.. reply back to me. Best of luck!!

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  69. Carolyn…there’s no amount of ignorance or inconsideration that can prevent you from the self worth and pride you deserve to feel about your struggles. The degree of inflationary issues associated with your condition would keep the average person from getting out of bed each day. Know this, with or without any sponsorship, you are doing what you are called to do by presenting this situation here. Please don’t see this as anything beyond your capacity to respond. That’s more than you can ever realize 😍

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  71. I am cheering you on! Don’t let that one person ruin your day or your desire to help others. You ARE helping others in a tremendous way. Thank you for always sharing your faith. It is foolishness to the world, but we have a better world that Jesus is preparing for us.

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  72. Wow, she must not know how to read and only zipped through a few pictures of you.

    I love your blog and everything it stands for. May God bless you in this endeaver seeking sponsors.

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  73. You are beautiful. That is all. You are incredibly beautiful and you happen to look beautiful also. (I think she was a bit jealous and wounded, do not let that wound you.) She needs Jesus. You keep rocking. Love you. XO

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  74. Oh, Caralyn , I’m so sorry this happened to you. You are beautiful inside and out. God knows your beautiful heart. Continue to keep your eyes on Him and may it be well with your soul. He is your vindication. ❤️

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  77. I don’t usually comment on anything, but I thought I need to add my voice to others today. I follow your blog, not because I am struggling with an eating disorder, but because of your devotion to God and your honesty. I have endured my own struggles, which I feel reticent to share since doing so would cast another in a negative light and it is my duty to point them towards the light, not shine it in their eyes. Reading your blog helps me to step back from myself and refocus on God. So even though, in my specific case, you are not helping a person with an eating disorder; your blog is helping me in my daily walk with God, and that is more precious than gold. Certainly more precious than one woman’s fearful response. Sending hugs from Africa with love xx

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    • Hi again Nadine! This is such a wonderful note of kindness. Thank you. You are absolutely spreading light. And for that I am so grateful. I’m so glad my blog hits home with you. Thank you friend. You have lifted my spirit tonight. Thank you xox

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  78. Wow. I’ve never read much detail on what you went through until this post, and how shallow of them to respond in the manner they did. I was in tears reading this. The depth and the beauty God brought through this dark experience is amazing and I’m so happy to see you doing well. Ephesians 2:10 just came to mind. You are His handiwork! Don’t lose sight of that when people respond in the same way she did. Thank you for continuing to share your story. – Joe

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    • Thanks so much Joe. I really appreciate your kindness. Yeah, it’s been a bit of a journey, that’s for sure. I really am so touched by your affirming words. Hugs and love xox

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  79. Caralyn, you are such an inspiration to me. I believe that the key to recovery from anything is in the spiritual solution, which takes a multitude of forms. There is huge money in treatment from these diseases, their focus is on marketing not promoting successful recovery, that they were not involved in. I have noticed a great many great writers posting on sites for treatment centers, but the focus is intake on the landing page. People can be quite abrasive and one never knows for sure what they are dealing with, so we can sometimes pray and feel sorry for them. I know you just want to help and perhaps get a return on your effort, there is something in God’s plan for you, I know it.

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    • Oh my gosh I am so touched by this. Thank you. You’re so right – God has been the spice of my recovery for sure! Thanks for your encouragement. Hugs and love xox

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  80. That was a ridiculous response… but it might be God’s way of saying “That wasn’t the right sponsor for you, dear!” Inspired by your writing, by all these loving comments, and it’s a reminder to be confident in who I am like you are – who Christ says I am, who he has made me, and not who I might appear to others who aren’t looking closely enough to see the truth! Have a blessed night! 😄❤️

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  81. You are beautiful in body and spirit. God gave you the thorn of anorexia and the thorn of colitis so that you might be brought closer to him through your suffering. Skinny is not bad. Thin is not bad. Anorexia is bad. People who are thin have longer life expectancies. People who are anorexic are different than people who are thin. By the way you do not look thin in an unhealthy way. You look thin in a “Wow, she is hot” way (Pardon my male observation). Frankly, I do not get what the: “Certainly promotes being skinny!” comment is about. I have NEVER seen anything in your blogs that promote “skinny”. I suspect that the comment came from a fat girl who doesn’t really know the difference between “thin” and “anorexic”. (BTW, I am a fat guy — I have inverse anorexia 🙂 — so I can make this comment!!!). You have the build of a model. Indeed, it is difficult to believe that anyone so physically attractive has had anorexia or colitis; because, you look so healthy. It just goes to show that looks can be deceiving. I think that you may achieve some notoriety because of your looks (attractiveness) through modeling, etc; but, I think that your spiritual gifts, your sharing of the Word, will bring you an eternal reward far greater than any fame or fortune you can achieve on earth.

    Keep the Faith: Jesus is counting on you.

    God Bless.

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    • Hi friend! Oh my gosh thank you. What a beautiful thought – I was actually just talking with my mom the other night about suffering and that’s exactly what she said – it draws us to Him. Thanks for your kind words. You’ve definitely made me chuckle hah 🙂 big hugs xox

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  82. It it is impossible to explain stupid. The responder is an insensitive fool and should not be working in a place of recover for anyone.

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  85. My goodness — I guess we can all take away the wisdom that it’s important to do our research before saying stupid things, as this woman so obviously failed to do! To look at your photos, it’s obvious that even at a healthy weight, you are slender of frame! You are a lovely woman, Caralyn, and the true intent of your blog is in no way vague or unclear. If this woman couldn’t take the time to do her research, to read about you and your journey — well, I feel sorry for her. <3

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    • Thanks so much Laura. You’re so right – thinking before we speak is such a great lesson to take away from this. i definitely for one, need to take that to heart! hah Sending big hugs xox

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  86. She probably just had a quick look and saw how skinny and attractive you are and judged on that. Might be a bit of jealously going on! My first thought when I read her response.

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  87. Her remark tells me that, devoid of God’s wisdom, we only see what we choose to see.

    Aren’t you glad that you’re not like her? And that you’re able to do something redemptive (pen your most recent blog post) in response to her incredibly thoughtless comment?

    Who knows? Perhaps God allowed this to happen so that you can testify to His goodness and faithfulness. And that’s what you’ve done! Now let’s see what He does next. Hold on to the promises in Jeremiah 29:11, and don’t let this woman’s steal any more of your joy!

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    • thank you so much friend, you’re right – i have a lot to be grateful for, and I cannot begin to understand the ways in which God works, but I can always bank on the fact that He is working it together for Good. thanks x

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      • Never underestimate the power of your testimony. I think your blog is likely impacting the lives of more people than you may ever really realize. God is already using you mightily! Be encouraged.

  89. Hey BBB! I’d like you to know that you are so beautiful, smiles and all! All of the things listed as promoted on this post are true of what your blog does and I’d wonder why anyone would say otherwise but then I’m glad her statement got you to give a clear list 🙂 that can always be referred to in future.
    I appreciate especially point 5: ‘Recognizing that I have worth and value because Christ died for me, and nothing in my past – even an eating disorder – can negate that fact.’ I believe this is very true and will also like to challenge you to begin to believe that you are fertile (and say so). In spite of the facts presented to you, choose to walk in faith as concerns your fertility also (it is not beyond God :)) That said, you’re such a beautiful soul and this is evident in all your posts! Keep it up dear! xx

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  90. Be thankful for the “no’s”. I try to remember that rejection is God’s protection. I’m a new blogger – learning so much. I like your willingness to ask for support.

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  91. Caralyn:

    Hmm. Think about what this person has said. If she believes that you are skinny, think about her experience with other anorexia survivors. For example, does the more typical survivor respond by putting on too much weight? Knowing that diabetes has almost become a default setting for Americans, that would be my guess.

    What then does that say about your experience and how it is different?

    Because you have returned to a healthy balance, my observation would that your faith walk places you in a different place. IMHO.

    Stephen

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    • Thanks so much Stephen. i really appreciate this powerful perspective. you’re right, God has absolutely been the central force of my recovery, and I couldn’t do it without Him! thanks for stopping by. big hugs x

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      • Thinking about this issue as I swam this morning, I wondered how many anorexia survivors bounce from one food issue to another without serious progress. If this is the norm, then anorexia may be more of a spiritual issue than is normally assumed. If my identity is in my physical image, rather than God’s image, then the spiritual link is established and the problem is idolatry, which is not something that non-Christian counselors know what to do with. This would explain why you found a new balance, when others have not, and why you were subjected to an ad hominem attack.

        BTW. I have been anxiously waiting to hear your take on Wonder Woman…Stephen

      • Thanks again Stephen. Very true – eating disorders can tend to morph from one form to another. Had it not been for God, I think I would probably be caught in that horrible cycle too. And I haven’t seen WW! I’ll have to check it out 🙂

  92. This is just another of many tests that we must pass. You are enduring and developing a tolerance towards intolerable people. It’s become clear that most people accept us as we are; but many will not. And those are the ones that cause us the most pain. As you celebrate life, continue to chronicle your experiences, as we too are growing with you. You bless your adversaries when you celebrate your victories AND your defeats.

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    • Haha thanks! They’re actually one of my affiliates! Just click on my Reebok ad in my sidebar, and they’re the MET classic shoes 🙂 thanks so much!! Hope you love them as much as I love mine!! 💛

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  94. I feel for you in this and hope you know that (like many women who have also struggled with self image, a troubling and high maintenance diagnosis, etc) NEVER ONCE have I thought your blog promotes being skinny! Not that you need that reassurance, because you know that.
    Thank you for your raw and heartfelt display of yourself. You are incredibly inspiring and do not deserve to be scorned – you are already dealing with those repercussions from yourself from those years ago and do not need it from others. God bless you and it’s so motivating to see that you’ve risen above this unfortunate experience and choose to focus on positivity and gratitude rather than resentment. It’s amazing how, too often, others look at the surface and forget to look beyond to see the true meaning and intent of the things around them.
    All the best to you! xx

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  95. *a good hug for you* <3
    Be grateful for those who turns you down, because they were not the right ones for you.
    And, they let your path open for those who are.
    Bless you, you are Amazing!

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    • aw thanks so much friend! amen to that! gotta just pray for God’s guidance for my path 🙂 thanks for your encouragement and hugs! sending a hugs right back atcha! xox

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  98. I’m pretty sure that woman didn’t act READ your blog. She probably just skimmed through some of the pictures. What she said is flabbergasting!

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  99. My goodness that was such a cruel reply. Know what? I think that those of us who point to God (#1 on your own list of who your blog promotes) are going to catch that kind of rejection. “To those who are perishing, we are a dreadful smell of death and doom. But to those who are being saved, we are a life-giving perfume. And who is adequate for such a task as this?” (2 Corinthians 2:16 NLT)

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    • thank you so much for this encouragement. Yeah, just gotta keep my eyes on Him brush off the rest 🙂 a life-giving perfume — what a beautiful way to put it! hugs xox

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  100. You are an amazing woman. Each time you post I am touched by your words. I understand how insulted you feel. Breathe… Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your words as they have once again touched my soul and have helped to lessen my struggle.

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  103. I’m so glad you’ve got an amazing support group in your followers! 🙂 And since so many have already echoed what I was going to say, I’ll send a virtual hug instead. If we never meet in person here on earth, I can’t wait to meet you in Heaven. I think we’d have lots of fun conversations. You are truly a light in the darkness, so don’t let one person’s hurtful remark dim your glow. Shine brighter for it. I like what one woman had to say about how sometimes we think we’ll benefit a certain group of people over “here,” when God has far grander plans for us over “there.” He’ll guide you where He wants you to be through those open and closed doors. One step at a time, right? 🙂 Blessings!

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    • thanks so much Laurie. aw, I really appreciate your virtual hug! Yes! I’m sending a big hugs right back to ya. hahah – yes, isn’t that a fun and exciting thought to think about Heaven!! 🙂 Thanks for your encouragement. big hugs x

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  104. Just so you know, I have never, never, ever gotten that impression from reading your blog. I just can’t believe it, that is simply crazy.

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  105. Be at peace, dear sister. You are beloved.
    If you’re going to go out and speak publicly, you will face this from your audience. Many of them will have succumbed to ED as a reaction to “fat shaming,” and so be predisposed to believe that your story doesn’t relate to theirs.
    Your history of Crohn’s disease could be an effective response to their “skinny-shaming.” You might try sending a follow-up letter (perhaps after taking this post down) to see whether it elicits sympathy and respect.

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      • You’re working through a difficult process. I think that you have confidence in yourself in the context of your established relationships, but may be sensitive to criticism from others. I see this experience as another step towards a deeper healing and evolving strength. When I went through this after my divorce, it didn’t take many experiences of walking in another’s shoes (or “turning the other cheek”) before I realized that people generally reward compassionate persistence.

  106. When you reach out to any potential sponsors remember some will, some won’t, so what…next. The person who sent you the note about ‘skinny’ is obviously not a fit for your blog, next.

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      • Trying to break into the laissez faire world, I see. Good for you. Nevertheless, God is not in very high demand right now. I thought you of all people would know that. I’m not trying to goof or mock. Laissez faire is not that into God. I thought you knew that.

      • I am really sorry to say it, but those that makes money now in the entertainment is those that takes off their clothes and those that make loud sounds. I’ve seen your pictures. I’ve listened to your recordings on soundcloud. You are neither of these. But good luck, anyway. You’ll find some way through all this, or not.

      • Okay, so I talked a lot of shit on this post. Again, it’s a game. I’m sorry if you’ve been offended by it. I’m just gonna quit playing. I can see that it goes nowhere. I’m sorry if I offended you in this cat-and-mouse game of search-and-answer search-and-answer. A mind tool to refine refine refine understandings as the refining of gold. It has helped me tremendously in my learning, the ability to question everything, my every belief from top to bottom. Has made me strong. I only hoped to share the techniques of search, study, dig, in order to see if you would appreciate or value these techniques of learning. I am a pioneer in education. Good-bye then. It seems this is our parting. I wish you well in your life struggles, and achievements.

  108. Wow, I stand with you in your frustration and rage. In the short time I have read your blog, I have come to appreciate your voice and how you express yourself. It is something I aspire to, not necessarily on a blog, but in all aspects of my life as a social worker, Jesus lover, friend, and community member. I have no tolerance for forms of ignorance and the injustice that follows from that. I also don’t think you have to justify yourself as a woman and say, “I am not trying to be overly sensitive” because I hate that in our culture women have to justify themselves for saying honest and real things and then fear backlash for the label of being whiny, too emotional, shrill or what have you. Rock on lady! You are a beautiful woman of God, we are not perfect, but thank you for your courage, your voice, and for being unashamed (Romans 1:16). I appreciate you.