Auditioning for The Bachelor?

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Well The Bachelor auditions were today.

And before you fall out of your chair, no I didn’t go.


However, I’m not gonna lie, I was thisclose. 

I even showered for the occasion…which…let’s just say, is a big deal 😉


hah JK JK #HygieneIsImportant

My two best friends in the world really wanted me to audition. And for a while, I had committed to the idea of doing it. Because I feel like, if I’m ever going to find love, I’m gonna have to throw myself into a situation where that’s the only option.

Maybe that’s a little pessimistic. But, that’s kinda how I’m feeling right now. A pathetic mix of desperation and hopeless surrender.

But yeah, after trying on a couple different outfits and Google Maps-ing the subway directions to the audition location, I decided that I don’t want to date a guy who could justify dating 30 other girls.

I’ve worked too hard on my self worth to go through that dumpster fire of depreciation.


Anywho. If you can’t tell from my…jubilant candor…I’m back in New York. First night actually. I just flew in this morning. And let’s just say, the four walls of my studio apartment seem closer than ever before. I’m going to be honest – my heart feels a bit caged in. And I don’t know if that’s a repercussion of denying myself the opportunity to meet a perfectly chiseled Ken doll on reality TV, or the fact that my heart is yearning for Ohio, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’s the latter.

Since my mom’s stroke back in December, I have been in full-time “side-kick” mode. By her side, enjoying time together literally from eyes open in the morning to eyes closed at night.

It’s been a beautiful, strengthening, healing and challenging time where I’ve grown in admiration and love and friendship with my hero: my mom.

And my dad, too. He is our rock and the best man I know, I always feel badly I don’t talk more about him on here, but he’s a pretty private gentleman.

But going from 0 to 60, with literally zero free time to now living by myself in a studio apartment, let’s just say it’s a bit of a shock.

The silence is deafening. Thank goodness for Spotify, amIrite?


But if there’s one thing that has been illuminated from this, it’s that I love taking care of other people.

I love living the day-to-day with people I love.

And I realized just how much I cannot wait to take care of my future husband, whomever he may be.

I guess that’s why I thought about auditioning for The Bachelor – I’d like the abridged version of dating…let’s just zip through it and get married already.

*sigh*

I just have to trust in God’s timing.

Which, I know, is kind of a broken record on here. But it’s so true. And frankly, it’s what I’m clinging onto for dear life.

God has brought me through so much. He brought me out of the depths of anorexia. Healed me from a severe case of Ulcerative Colitis. And has carried me through this terrifying season during my mom’s stroke this year.

God is not finished with me.

He didn’t bring me through all of that to just abandon me.

I’ve got to trust that the best is yet to come. I’ve got to trust that all of this has been shaping my heart. Preparing my spirit to be ready to love, ready to open up to someone, ready to live.

What’s that saying? — If God leads you to it, He’ll see you through it??

Something like that.

Well, He’s proved that in my life. Not always the most comfortable or pleasant of times, but always worth it in the end.

Part of me wonders what part of my heart still needs transforming before God brings my future husband into my life. Hmm…sounds like I just found what I need to start praying for.

Lastly, I’ve received some really powerful questions about eating disorders and recovery. I’ll be taking questions up until Sunday, so send them in to beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com and I’ll answer them in next week’s post (as a non-professional, of course).

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

357 thoughts on “Auditioning for The Bachelor?”

  3. Beautifully heartfelt — and such realistic positivity in this post. Thankyou for sharing. 🙂
    “I’ve got to trust that the best is yet to come” — it’s all contained in those words!

    Like

  4. I would have traveled to NY, hunted you down, and smacked you silly, if you had gone through with that audition….LOL. Hang in there, sweet lady! God wants ONLY THE BEST for you! 😘

    Liked by 1 person

  5. “Reality TV” no matter what format, is phony, shallow, mindless, old, tired, and I really wish it would GO AWAY!! You don’t need that. You aren’t the kind of bimbo that they put on that show and you don’t need to worry about the kind of guy they put on it either. You are real, intelligent, sensitive, beautiful inside and out, and have all the class and sense that those people do NOT!! xoxoxoxoxoxo God Bless!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Miguel. You’re so right – so not real. Thanks for this encouragement. You’re so right – it wouldn’t have been for me. I don’t know what I was thinking. Thanks again friend 🙂 lots of love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  6. One word – Faith. You aren’t rushing it, which is great – you have so much going for you – someone would have to be very special so God must be interviewing and weeding out the ‘bad’ ones ! 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

  7. I think there would be a better chance at finding love on Christian Mingle than The Bachelor. Maybe I’m pessimistic or just not a fan 😜

    Liked by 2 people

  8. You’re just beautiful, inside and out. And, no. God’s not finished with you yet. I watch the Bachelor sometimes, but can’t justify dating all those girls at once – there’s something dishonest about that process…or should I say, “It’s an experience that steals from the true meaning of courtship.”

    Liked by 2 people

    1. gosh thank you so much Jennifer. I so appreciate your kind words. Yeah – I don’t know what I was thinking. Definitely not me. That’s so true – it robs the true meaning of courtship! amen! big hugs to you xox

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  9. There is so much ahead for you, you’re an amazing, caring, loving and passionate person! I’m happy you decided to not go and take a leap of faith to see what God has for you!! Read your blogs about your mom and OMG, you’re strong girl!! Sending lots of love your way today!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. oh my gosh Ashley, you are incredible. thank you so so much for such generous words. Yes! I’m going to put my stock in the Big Man! He’s got the best plans! better than any reality tv show plot, that’s for dang sure 🙂 big hugs to you xox

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Girlfriend! I love reading your blog! I swear we are the same person! I’m almost 30 and still single. I’m waiting too! God is going to bless us with an amazing man (different ones of course 😂)! You are the kind of friend I need! Too bad we don’t live near eachother!! Pray! I’ll be praying with/for you! I hate the dating aspect of everything though. It’s so much time and effort put into it for something you HOPE is the right one! Ugh! Stay strong! God’s got us! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    1. hah aw thanks so much! I’m so glad you can relate 🙂 amen. to. that! He has such great men in store for us, I just know it! we just have to be patient. I will definitely keep you in my prayers as well!! thanks so much for this awesome nudge of encouragement. it was exactly the positivity I needed to hear tonight 🙂 big hugs to you xox

      Like

  11. I did not know about your Mom as I have been absent from the blogging world, as you know. I am so sorry to hear about it and I will be praying and offering Mass for her healing. My Dad had a stroke some years back. He lost his right hand and speech. So I went and got him children’s books with pictures, would crawl in bed with him and MAKE him say the name of the pictures. He would say something like, “Know, can’t say.” I would say, “Don’t play stroke with me, if you know it you can say it.” If I was cleaning their home, as Mom was sick at that time, whatever was laying around I would pick up and tell him, “Tell me what this is.” After about six weeks he begin to speak and has not stopped in five years. As far as his hand I went and bought marbles and a tennis ball. I made him every hour take those things and roll them in his hand. Also in about six weeks though weak, the use of his hand came back. The doctor’s told me to keep him talking and moving as if he did not he would lose that part of his brain for good. Last year he replaced all the windows in his house by himself at 86. He mows 15 acres of ground, works on his lawn mower, etc…. Heart doctor told me he has one of the strongest heart’s he has ever heard. So know there is always hope and prayers as you know are coming your way.

    As far as a husband. I know God has the perfect one picked out for you. You just have not met him yet. 🙂 Love you and God Bless, SR

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow, SR, thank you so much for sharing this with me. First of all – praise God for your father’s recovery. That is such an incredible story and gives me so much hope. Gosh, thanks be to God for that! And thank you for your prayers for my mom. It sounds like we both have warriors for parents 🙂 big hugs to you xox

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Ye cats and fishes. The Bachelor? Good decision, dear heart. The thing about love? is that it shows up when it is time. So. Don’t despair- at your age (I think?) it is easy to think it’s all going to zoom by and you’ll be left in the dust or something like that. But as you know, life really works more mysteriously and masterfully than that. Keep doing what you’re doing, keep improving your heart and mind, don’t fret or doubt, and before you know it the desires of your Heart will manifest. It happened to me. So it most definitely can happen for you!

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    1. Love shows up when it is time. Wow – those are some powerful words! thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement. Yes! I do believe that 🙂 It will manifest 🙂 Thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

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  14. Love your honesty, pastor and I’m glad you didn’t go. God has guided your walk of faith, healing and recovery! Please trust He already knows. Don’t forget, when you start your church the singles groups are full of great prospects. Hi and prayers for your Mom! File this blog away with your other sermon outlines! Patience might be the topic. So proud of you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Rick. I really appreciate this. you’re right – I need to trust that He has it all written out for me already. Now i just have to exercise some patience! hah You know, I just pictured Jesus rolling His eyes when He heard the premise of the show…and that’s what made me not want to do it. haha WWJD — or WWJ*think* — right?? Thanks for your prayers, as always! big hugs xo

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      1. Hope you’ve been well! I’ve been trying to keep up with my own blog, but I’ve enjoyed staying up to date with what you’ve been sharing! Hope you got the email I sent a couple days ago!

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      2. thanks again Tom! Oh yes! thank you so much! i have been meaning to respond…craziness with coming back to nyc, so my emails have been piling up! eek! but i did get it, and i really appreciate you taking the time to reach out and offer a nudge of encouragement 🙂 you’re a great friend x

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  16. I, for one, am grateful you didn’t audition. Girlfriend, God has someone so infinitely better than a man who is willing to date 30 girls at once, and do things with them that you don’t want your future husband doing with anyone but you. I’m serious. Hold out for God’s best. You will NEVER regret waiting for him, I promise. The crying in your pillow at night and the longing ache in your belly are so real to you right now, but turn those cries into prayers to the Lord. Cling to Him. He will not let you down, and He will bring about His best at the right time, and you will be so blessed and relieved that you waited when that time finally comes. I can’t stress that enough. There is blessing in the waiting. Blessings for those who wait for God’s best that transcend time and are so much more precious than settling for “good enough.” I’m praying for you. Every time God brings you to my heart, I lift you up. It can’t be easy being single and practicing abstinence these days, but just remember, “Thy will be done.” Not our will, but His. That’s where we find ultimate peace and joy, despite the pain of life. 🙂 Oh, how I wish I could give you a hug. xoxo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Laurie for reminding me of the TRUTH!! you’re so right – I need to hold out for God’s best. Honestly, i don’t know what I was thinking, even considering it!?! amen – blessing in the waiting. i do believe that. thank you so much for your prayers. it seriously means the world. you are a blessing to me! I’m gratefully receiving your virtual hug and sending you one right back 🙂 thanks again for the encouragement x

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  17. Another thing the doctor/therapist told me was they become extremely disgusted because they cannot move and speak like they used to. Because of this they will just sit down and eventually not even try. When they do that, the part of the brain which the stroke affected will more of less just give up too. My word’s to Daddy always were like I said, “Don’t play stroke with me.” I knew if Daddy had to sit in a chair the rest of his life he would die. One thing he always told us kids was, “You sit down you die.” That played over and over in my mind, when he had his stroke. The funny thing is now none of his kids ever sit. We work all the time. I think he overdid it! 🙂 Yes I thank God for everything. If you need any help you know where my blog is. Don’t know everything but can find the answers. My sister is a nurse and I worked in the medical field for 20 years. Love you and God Bless, SR

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    1. wow, that’s fascinating – and it makes so much sense too. i love that you said Don’t play stroke with me. THat’s a really loving and encouraging way to tell him that you believe in him. He’s lucky to have you 🙂 yes, thanks again x

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  19. Well you hooked me with the title! A thoughtful and prophetic post (“dumpster fire of depreciation” – a magnificent turn of phrase that so accurately sums up so much of reality tv). Thanks for posting!

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  20. Sweetheart … I was not aware that you had been taking care of your Mom. I did not know she had a stroke. I know the hard work 24 – 7 of caring for parents and grandparents. I helped care for my father and mother, who both had cancer, and my 101 year old grandmother who died of old age. Caring for them was a labor of love. My level of compassion grew as well as my patience. I’m happy you had that opportunity early in your life. Don’t worry about finding the right man … God will introduce you two when the time is perfect. : ) Jan

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    1. thanks so much Jan. Yeah, she had her stroke 2 days after Christmas, and so I moved home from NYC to help out. there was no question about that decision. Oh my gosh, i am so sorry to hear that your parents fought cancer, that’s so tough. You’re right, a labor of love that grows love. Thanks so much for your encouraging words and support. i really appreciate your friendship 🙂 big hugs xox

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  21. I understand how you’re feeling! But you’re exactly right: God is not finished with you and He has more beautiful things planned for you!! Stay strong & remember how much He loves you!!

    Liked by 2 people

      3. Okay I Tweeted one of the photos you posted in this and tagged you in it- did you get a notification? Because it’s showing up in my feed but it’s not showing up in my Tweets? I just got a Twitter & have no idea what I’m doing 😂

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  23. I just have to say… Ilove your writing. He will be a lucky man!

    Back when I divorced, some friends submitted me to the process. They emailed, put me on some forum, and I got an email asking for a video audition. I just could not do it. That is not me. And it doesn’t sound like it’s you either.

    Be patient… He will send him 🙂

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  26. Awesome post. I tell my daughter great things comes to those who wait and she will be a Junior in college come August. Sometimes its hard waiting on God, but always remember He has plans for all of us. God is not finished with you just yet.

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  28. On the topic of love, I’ve stood by several friends believing for a hubby and the one thing I see as key is becoming really open…even going on some dates and giving guys a chance you might not usually. It might mean some compromising initially but its worked for me and many friends and none of us have compromised when its come to who we ended up with. Just part of the humbling journey! Just make sure you end up with a guy who shares your faith 🙂

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  30. Good post with a some full disclosure. God has done a lot of chiseling in your heart already. But have patience- masterpieces are not created in a day. But you show that God has already started something special with you. And when you give credit to your Creator it is only a precursor of greater things to come. Hang in there and thanks again for sharing. From your oldest in age follower and fan. John

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    1. thanks so much John. I think you’re absolutely right – no masterpiece was created in a day, and I do believe He’s got someone very special in store. Thanks for always being so positive and encouraging. it means the world. you’re a great friend 🙂 big hugs x

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  31. Hey! The success rates on that show are super super super depressingly and horrifyingly low. Not that God couldn’t work a miracle (and I think he did at least once for the show), but I would never touch it unless you felt a serious nudge from God. Like a shove from behind face-plant variety nudge:) Otherwise, nobody needs that kind of exploitation. You’re so right!
    But I’d also stay away from thinking that maybe a guy is coming when you’re in such a such and such a place. The right person comes at the right point in the story. In my own I was NOT ready but it grew me and challenged me in every way. Some people get to be “ready,” (but I’m thinking most are somewhere in between). God is the amazing author of all the best stories so don’t overthink it:) If you do it on his plan, it will be perfect, ready or not, messy or not, crazy or not, or whatever!
    Don’t sweat it for even a second and keep the faith!

    Liked by 1 person

  32. You are such a lovely writer, and such a lovely person, I am really glad you did not audition for the Bachelor and that your awareness told you that it would not be good for your self-esteem. There are so many other venues for finding love one-on-one. I am still trying to get the courage to go on Match and in fact was writing about that tonight for my blog. Keep doing what you do and expressing your gift for words and empathy and understanding of the human heart and mind.

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  33. You know by now that I say things from my heart. In my humble opinion, you have made another excellent life decision! You don’t need to put yourself out there for a bunch of losers to grope. Yes, I call them losers that can’t find a real woman so they go on TV and pretend to be something they are not. You called it reality TV, but none of it is real. To me it comes across as scripted, and I stopped watching it many seasons ago. You are a wonderful young lady and yes, God will send you the right man at the right time. I’m a PK (Preacher’s Kid) and God has always been there for me. You talked about your Dad, and I know how proud of you he is. I told you a few weeks ago that if I had a daughter I would want her to be like you and you jus reinforced that. Be strong, be patient, and just be you. You are loved, just the way you are. xoxo

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    1. Thanks so much Walk. You’re right – i don’t know what i was thinking even considering it! haha it would have made Jesus cry… seriously. Thanks again for being such a great friend. I am blessed to know you! big hugs x

      Liked by 1 person

  34. I had been crying rivers for my wife before we met, Caralyn, and he, too, is for you, somewhere out there.
    Our Father knows we all have to be going through impatient and tempting times. Be gentle with yourself, precious friend.
    Calming hugs and completely trusting prayers,
    Leon

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  35. Hope this helps:
    Patricia and I were lucky enough to discover that quiet, intense love that is basic to life itself; it is seldom found in real life. We had the eyes to see and the words to tell the truths that are most real to each other. I used to pray nightly that the first girl that attended Church with me would be the girl I married; well Pat was the first girl that attended Church with me. She even became an Anglican and Christianity is very much a part of our love. I love her with the breath, smiles, tears of all my life; and now that she is in Heaven, if God choose, I shall but love her better after death. However right now, her death is like a hole in my very being, that can never be filled again, that I don’t want filled, that I’m scared to live with and scared to live without.
    Pat got it right from the beginning. She was a very deep thinker and wouldn’t commit to love until she had thought it through. In a letter to me written just before she went home for Christmas 1968 she wrote, “…On top of this I feel an elusive fondness for you that can’t be classified; it’s too strong for friendship and not strong enough for love. Whether I will love you in the future, I don’t know. I think the chances for it are better than the chances against. I like to think of you and Toronto having a large role to play in my present, & perhaps my future. I would prefer you not to mention marriage again until & unless you feel that I can return your feelings equally. Pat. “
    She wanted to be sure we were soulmates. About a month after she got back from Ottawa we were kissing good night after a date when she said, “Eric, I love you!” After recovering from the shock, I replied “Does this mean you will marry me?” She replied “Yes.” That was February 9th, 1969 we bought the ring on February 14, 1969 and were married on June 21, 1969.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This is so incredibly powerful and beautiful. you’ve got me crying! thank you so much for sharing your story. you are giving her such a beautiful testimony. you had and have such a beautiful love- it restores hope in my soul. i cannot tell you how much this meant to me. thank you. know that i will be praying for you. i can’t imagine what that hole feels like, but I do know that we will all be reunited one day in perfect peace, and pick up right where we left off. sending so so much love and hugs xox

      Liked by 2 people

  36. Good Call!

    Now, as someone old enough to be your father, a really wacky question: is it possible that God is calling you to a religious vocation? Don’t summarily rule it out. My oldest son has found himself in formation to become a Dominican Friar and is very happy There. There are a lot of great religious communities out there. Just thought I’d mention it. Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. 🙂

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  37. Such a beautiful message! Thank you for sharing from your heart. I do hope your mom is well and improving. I’m new to your blog and enjoy reading your messages. I have a doctorate in speech-language pathology, and I’m a rehab director for an outpatient therapy clinic so this intrigued me greatly. Praying for healing and strength during her continued recovery!

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  38. Don’t ever settle for second best, you don’t want a life of daily regret. Rather run hard after God and he will show you someone who is equally run hard after God…then you will be a great godly team.

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  39. I’m going to offer something different here: perhaps God wants you to himself. Either as a single woman, consecrated, or a religious sister. These are as noble a call, vocation, as married life. A life’s work that you would fill with dignity and grace. As a single woman, or consecrated virgin there are ways of serving God in a way that honors him.
    There are options. I love being married, however I’d be just as happy being single. ❤

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      1. Hello, I’ve been gone awhile, recovering from another stroke. I haven’t had time to catch up with your posts yet, so please forgive me if this is inappropriate. I was wondering how your Mom was doing? I’ve thought of her and you going to care for her so much while I’ve been out. God Bless
        Pastor David

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      2. Oh gosh David I am so sorry to hear that. Hang in there. Praying for you friend. She’s doing great – we just walked the 80 mile el Camino pilgrimage together! Thank you for your kindness. Sending so much love and hugs xox

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      3. Thank you for responding, I’m glad your Mom is doin so we’ll! I’m also very impressed with the way you site is going! Keep it up girl, your reaching people with encouragement! God Bless you!

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  41. Now, I know you can’t tailor your blog to any one individual, like, oh, I don’t know…me, for example. But a headline like tonight’s wasn’t too good for my poor, damaged heart.

    “IT’S THE BIG ONE, JULIE!!” (grabs his chest in pain)

    You’ll have to go over to Patreon to see if I’m OK.

    *gasp*

    *wheeze*

    200 joules. Charging…aaand CLEAR!!!!

    WHUMP!

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  42. Hey, you don’t have to audition for the bachelor. Any guy who is single, sees you and gets to find out who you are as a person would be mad to pass up the opportunity to grab you and hang on. 🙂 There is a decent person out there just for you, don’t go for second best on a sub standard show.

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  43. I have three single gorgeous sons. Well, one of them has a girlfriend. So two and half. Let me know when and I’ll arrange a date. 😂🤣😂

    Seriously, I have many single friends. I’m not even sure how to pray for them in this area. So I simply pray, “that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight so that you may discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day Christ, being filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ.”

    I pray this for you as well.

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  45. “I guess that’s why I thought about auditioning for The Bachelor – I’d like the abridged version of dating…let’s just zip through it and get married already.”
    Me too, Caralyn! You are not alone. #SingleLadiesUnite
    I feel like I just want Christ to show me who is “the One” the first time I see them… which could happen! But I am so over dating to date. I just want to be dating for marriage, but like you said yourself, I think there might be some stuff in my heart Christ is wanting to change first. “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.” (Philippians 2:13)
    Let’s keep this verse in mind as Jesus gives us the ability to wait, and yet desire, that special someone! He is faithful 🙂
    Love, In Christ,
    Annalee

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  46. I love the phrase in the scriptures “in the fullness of time”. If we’d just consider all God had to orchestrate for Jesus to be born. Time and space, star placements – astronomical choreography, genetics and generations of Mary’s family line, governments and world leaders, which meant more genetics, ruling governments, beginning from Adam. Dear, the person and timing aren’t totally up to the placement and alignment of your heart, and where you need to be with Jesus. That is only a piece. A Master Craftsman is at work readying all for “in the fullness of time” for your life. For God sees not only you and Mr. Right, but all you will do for him together, the children you will raise, the community you will impact together, and the glory you will bring Him together. He’s preparing and setting up all of it! He’s got this, and he’s got you. Let him sing over you (Zeph. 3:17) as he creates your life moment by moment, for his beautiful masterpiece! You are his treasure! And to him you are striking!

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  47. Another well-written article. I admire your work… greatly. Thanks always for your honesty — and for being willing to share your heart with your readers. I just want to say… that I believe God has made you into a woman of deep character, with a servant’s heart. I think you are right… God is still preparing you (OR him) for that special moment when you meet and God’s plan comes into full view. It is hard, but cherish this time. No need to rush through this. You know to rest in God’s timing and in His love… until that special person comes along. Personally, I was 25 before I found “the one” — and looking back I wondered why I was always so anxious for that moment. God had it all along. He also has you… Enjoy the journey! M. A.

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    1. aw, MA, thank you so much!! i’m so glad you enjoyed the read. and thanks for your kind words- that’s really great advice – no need to rush through this. God’s timing is perfect. big hugs xo

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  48. I think we all need shirts that say, God isn”t finished with me yet.”. I feel your pain. Patience can be a hard lesson, at times.

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      1. Damn! If it were only that easy, I”d buy 2. But, you have to have some in purple. Seriously, Cafe Press personalizes shirts….Hmmm

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  49. God is working on your future as much as He’s working on you. You have a beautiful, loving heart. After getting married as a young woman I realized that I could still be lonely at times. Loneliness draws us to His heart. You are wise to wait on the Lord for His timing. I cared for my mama the last few weeks of her life…I cannot describe in words, the pure joy of loving and serving her. When she left, my heart was so broken…and I still miss her…but I have precious memories, and one day we will see each other again. You are Blessed! May God give you the desires of your heart…that He places inside of you, as you rest at His feet. God Bless…Karen

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    1. thanks so much for this beautiful response, Karen. I really appreciate your kind words and encouragement. You’re so right – i should use this time to draw closer to Jesus. I’m so sorry about your mother. What a gift you gave her in serving her during that season. And yes, there is such comfort in knowing that we will all be reunited in peace in paradise. thanks for stopping by. big hugs xo

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