Put the Fire Out

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I have a confession: one that I’m really not proud of.

But tonight at church, and really for the last couple weeks, I honestly have just felt…nothing.

It’s like I’ve been spiritually numb.

But tonight was different. I was actually getting angry.

I was sitting in the pew, and just inexplicably fuming, being critical of every little thing: the priest seemed arrogant. The pace was too slow. I was literally shooting daggers with my eyes at the elderly woman leading the songs. (A capella, I might add.) Who is this monster I’ve allowed in my thoughts and heart?!

But I was just checked out. And the more I thought about it, the worse it got.

I’m going to be honest: growing up, I had a few episodes of… the silent treatment.

I’m not proud to admit that passive aggressive low blow, but I have been known to give my parents the silent treatment during rare occasions, back in the day, when I was really angry about something.

And I realized tonight, that my behavior pattern in church these last few weeks is exactly that: I’m giving God the silent treatment.

Because I realized tonight, I’m still angry at Him. I’m still feeling really hurt and abandoned and so I’ve been slipping into my old bad habit of icing out the person I’m upset with.

Obviously, I’m upset with God for my mom’s stroke and the aftermath we’re having to adjust to. But there’s recently been something else.

I know I’ve mentioned it before, but I have an autoimmune disease: Ulcerative Colitis. And in the last two weeks, I’ve had a pretty severe symptom flare up: An extra-intestinal symptom, meaning it’s an autoimmune response not associated with Ulcerative Colitis, but just due to the fact that my immune system is screwed up.

Anyways, long story short, I’m just angry that God is allowing this. I’m thinking, Seriously God? You’re going to throw this at me now…when it hasn’t even been a year since my mom’s stroke?

And thinking about it tonight, I know the textbook answer is that I’m supposed to “trust God” and “rely not on my own understanding but believe in His perfect plan and timing.”

And frankly, that just seems so passive right now, when I’ve got this fiery symptom flaring up, and I’m just waiting to see what happens next?

Tonight, during the sermon, I was berating it in my mind, pleading for it to just hurry up and be over already, when my ears caught something that made me actually start listening: the priest’s dad had a stroke.

OK…I’m listening.

He went on to discuss the importance of praise, especially when we’re in seemingly hopeless or upsetting situations.

We can trust. We can do what we have to do. But we must never forget to praise Him, because His love never changes, no matter the circumstance. Not even if we’re icing Him out: His love is worthy of praise.

img_6554

Honestly, that’s not really what I wanted to hear tonight. I would have rather just fumed about the hard-of-hearing older woman belting out the hymn, off tempo and off key, and just hate on everything about my current situation.

That would have been the easy – and probably more temporarily satisfying – thing to do. But I realize that by turning my eyes upward, I will take my focus off of myself. I’ll alleviate my fears and worry by thinking about the One who truly has never let me down.

img_0429

Turns out that every “seemingly horrible” scenario in my life – be it my anorexia, past flares, mom’s stroke, etc.…each of those literal life altering seasons of my life have set me on the path I needed to be on, and taught me an invaluable lesson along the way.

fullsizeoutput_3e9b.jpeg

I kinda wish I could go back and have a “do-over” of church today, and walk in there with the mindset I have now rather than the Critical Caralyn that hemmed and hawed her way through mass this evening.

I guess there’s always tomorrow for that.

***Thank you to everyone who has ordered my books, Bloom: A Journal by BeautyBeyondBones and “My Blogging Tips“***

Click here to order your copy!

img_2712

________________________________________________________________
Stay Connected!

@beauty.beyond.bones – Instagram

Facebook

Twitter

YouTube

A big thank you to my sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy.  Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.

Next time you’re shopping on Amazon, be sure to use my link! Doing so is absolutely FREE for you, and a great way to support this blog!

patreon

Thank you for considering supporting BBB on Patreon! You make this blog possible 🙂

img_0799-2

Published by

Unknown's avatar

beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

435 thoughts on “Put the Fire Out”

  1. I relate to this quite a bit. I don’t think I’ve ever felt, upset at God, more like…I’ve become apathetic because He’s not behaving in the way I think makes sense…and like you, I identified that that’s how I treat anyone else who behaves in ways my extremely logical mind can’t compute. I too had to come to the realisation (still coming to it) that I’m just selfish, and I must take my eyes off myself and my expectation and focus on God and His goodness and love…He knows what He wants to establish and build in me, and it is out of love. I must praise Him for that love which I do not deserve. Your post is what I needed to read right now. Thanks for this.

    Like

  3. I follow your blog, always hoping for an example to apply to my own life, because your joyful resolution to the challenges you face always show through.

    I struggle being grateful. I understand it’s the “right” thing to do, but I don’t feel grateful…

    Like

    1. Yeah it definitely is a tough thing to embrace. Sometimes it helps to remember all the things I have in life – everything from shelter to food to friends to a fluffy loofa in the shower. 🙂 thanks for your kind words. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  4. God can handle your silent treatment. He went silent between the Old and New Testaments. (a little humor, there. ‘Yeah, very little.’) In all seriousness, we’d be dishonest as believers to say we don’t have those times. The Psalms are full of them, but Job praised in the midst of them: ‘Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him.’ We say, well yeah, but He was Job!’ Why would He do any less for us? I had Grave’s Disease for 7 years; heat sensitivity, and I honestly looked like I had anorexia. I went from 220 to 148. They told me my heart was beating too fast, and it could give out from being worn out. High BP, and a bunch of other stuff. Some of my friends began asking if I was doing drugs. I just kept going, kept playing worship, kept getting prayed over, kept going to service, and about 2 years ago, it just went away. I’m overweight again (222 lbs. Seriously, God? Lol) but I’m healthy in all other aspects. I’ve changed my diet, and I make time to exercise now. It’s helped, but He healed me. Hang in there. ‘These days come,’ as my grandma used to say. Platitude? Maybe. Wisdom. Definitely. Blessings, sister.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for this powerful perspective. You’re right He can handle it. And thank you for sharing your story. I’m so sorry that you’re going through that. I will absolutely keep you in my prayers. Your strength and courage is inspiring. Hugs and love xox

      Like

      1. It actually cured itself, which the doctor who first diagnosed it said it might do. I no longer suffer with it, but it was an awful experience. Keep me in your prayers anyway, though. It’s always needed, and appreciated, and I’ll keep you in mine. We go through, and move forward, Amen?

        Like

  5. Rom 8:24  For in hope we have been saved, but hope that is seen is not hope; for who hopes for what he already sees? 
    Rom 8:25  But if we hope for what we do not see, with perseverance we wait eagerly for it. 
    Rom 8:26  In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words; 
    Rom 8:27  and He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 
    Rom 8:28  And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. 
    Rom 8:29  For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; 
    Rom 8:30  and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified. 

    Like

  6. I have been through a lot of illness and hardship over the years but this year and last year have been especially hard health wise. Even so God’s promise is that all things will work out for our good. I have hung onto that promise because most often God is showing me something or teaching me something that I can pass on to others.
    Being conformed to Christ’s likeness means learning obedience through suffering. The flip side of this is that I can also count God’s many blessing especially that he chose me and called me to Himself by faith through grace Ephesians 2:8-9 and adopted me as a son and sealed my salvation through Jesus Christ.
    Eph 1:3  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, 
    Eph 1:4  just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we would be holy and blameless before Him. In love 
    Eph 1:5  He predestined us to adoption as sons through Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the kind intention of His will, 
    Eph 1:6  to the praise of the glory of His grace, which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. 
    Eph 1:7  In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace 
    Eph 1:8  which He lavished on us. In all wisdom and insight 
    Eph 1:9  He made known to us the mystery of His will, according to His kind intention which He purposed in Him 
    Eph 1:10  with a view to an administration suitable to the fullness of the times, that is, the summing up of all things in Christ, things in the heavens and things on the earth. In Him 
    Eph 1:11  also we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to His purpose who works all things after the counsel of His will, 
    Eph 1:12  to the end that we who were the first to hope in Christ would be to the praise of His glory. 
    Eph 1:13  In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation—having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of promise, 
    Eph 1:14  who is given as a pledge of our inheritance, with a view to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory. 

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I think every christian goes through this in their life. It’s easy to get upset, the devil wants that because that is an open door for him to get into too make us mad at God and steal our joy. The perfect story is that of Job. God wanted to show the devil of Job’s faithfulness, so he allowed everything to be taken from him; things to happen. Yet Job still praised him. It seems far fetch to us, because like us, Job was human. It shows that even as sinners, IF we give our all too God, the worse things in life could happen to us can bring us closer too God. I’m not sure about you, but anytime something like that happens too me, I always ask of a lesson he is trying to teach. Maybe God is trying to bring you closer too him so you will fully rely on him. Prayers for you and also your family. 💖💖

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Oh wow. I’m glad you posted this, because I’m kind of going through the same thing right now–totally pouting because what I wanted to happen didn’t happen when I wanted it to happen . . . I know it’s childish, but the struggle is real!

    Like

  9. We can’t presume to know the path God intends for us. Some of us seem to live charmed lives while others are afflicted their entire mortal existence. We can only deal with what we’ve been given. We’ll all have good and bad days. We all at some point want to fall to our knees and cry, “Why, Lord?” However, to think that God should or will act in a certain way is beyond presumptuous – it’s just wrong to question Him. God is always there, even when we discard Him. Believe with all your heart and soul… especially in the depths of despair, and eventually your faith will come flooding back. To go into church, or into a relationship with God EXPECTING something out of it seems to me to be setting yourself up for downfall.

    Like

  10. And that’s the cognitive dissonant thought we all use and then endlessly justify; ‘I guess there’s always tomorrow for that.’ Well…actually…as I slide down the slippery greased chute getting closer to the big dirt box..no, tomorrow is not guaranteed. That’s a sobering realization.

    Like

  11. This is so me. I have been giving God the silent treatment for the past two years. I do not know why but I do know that I should just suck it up and remember He still cares about me no matter what.

    Like

  12. I have just one not so simple question Carolyn; did not your mother’s stroke bring you closer to her and give you compassion for her that you might not have had without it? There are other questions to tie on to this, but I’ll leave it at that. Sometimes we see the bad because it is in our face without the ability to realize the good that is often much more subtle. God Bless. R. I.

    Like

      1. I also have the feeling that your mother is a strong woman who, prior to the stroke wouldn’t ask for help from anyone (I see this in you too) and felt responsible to be the matriarch. If this is so, then the stroke also taught her to be able to let go and allow others to do for her. It also brought you home, if only temporarily and restored the house as it once was. You are truly blessed to still have your parents and the nest to return to. God is Great! R.I.

        Like

  13. It’s okay to let God know how we feel. Praising Him takes our eyes off our frustrations & disappointments. Praise puts our attention on His Goodness. Praise reminds us of how He saved us from ourselves. Praise increases our faith.
    I’m glad you listened to the sermon. God made sure your soul was fed. Thanks for sharing and keeping it real.

    Like

  14. I totally get what you mean. I went through a phase where I was really angry with God silently. My mum had a stroke which has really altered our lives. We are still trying to adjust to our ‘new mum’. Yet you recover from that, my dad was diagnosed with prostate cancer and leukaemia. He also has issues with his liver and kidney. My parents have served God faithfully for years for over 35 years. On top of that my baby brother was diagnosed of leukaemia as well. My world was shattered. My family lives in Africa and this means we have to pay for healthcare. This has taken all our lifetime savings.

    In April I had a dream about the rapture and this experience really changed my life for ever. God told me I wasn’t raptured because I was mad at him. Since then I have been trying to focus more on counting my blessings instead of my losses. This attitude is truly helping me.
    https://graceoverpain.com/2017/04/04/i-dreamt-about-the-rapture/

    Like

    1. Thanks Efua for sharing your story. I’m so sorry to hear about your family. Gosh my heart just goes out to you. I will pray some fierce prayers for you and your family. Hang in there friend. Sending all the love xox

      Like

      1. Thank you so much Sis. Praying for you too. Looking forward to going to a place where there will be no pain. Heaven is worth fighting for.

        Like

      3. Thanks a lot. I will keep you and your family in my prayers too. Looking forward to a place where there is no pain. Heaven is truly worth fighting for.

        Like

  17. Thank you for such an open, honest post. We have all been there girl. It’s amazing how God takes our pain and allows us to grow from it by seeking a deeper truth that God gets the glory. He only wants the best for us even in the worst circumstances.

    I can’t believe this is the first time I am commenting on your page. We’ve been “liking” each other for a while and you are always in my thoughts and prayers. You are amazing! Hope you don’t mind if I re-blog this 😉

    Like

  20. May I suggest that you get a praise journal? Every night add something to it that you can praise God for. It is hard at first coming up with things to write if you have had a hard life, but after a while, it gets easier. It can change your outlook on life.

    Like

  21. Well done. Thank you for this excellent reflection. God can use (and maybe even gives) these spiritually arid times to prepare the way for some greater revelation he wants to give. Jesus didn’t just wander into the desert… the Spirit put him there.

    Like

  22. Reblogged this on That Letter From Elijah and commented:
    An excellent reflection by a Christian sitting miserably in church. Our arid seasons might be gifts from God rather than personal flaws – after all, Jesus didn’t blunder into the desert. He was taken there by the Holy Spirit.

    Like

  24. Hey I really appreciate this blog. I hope you know that nobody gets through life scratch-free. Remember, the Lord claims to make us into springs of Living Water; our Christian experience should be generated by the Holy Spirit from within instead of seeking an external fulfillment. Easier said than done, I know; for me it’s a daily struggle. He can yet make us into salt and light each day for those around us, and sprinkle a little on us when we need it too.

    If you haven’t yet, ready The Problem of Pain by C. S. Lewis. Then maybe follow that up with Steps to Christ by E. G. White. Those are two of some very inspiring books to me that have stuck with the Bible and helped me make sense of life events on large and small scales.
    I appreciate the candid and honest nature of your blog. Blessings to you sister.

    Like

  25. Appreciate much your honesty. Such a real person beyond words. Everybody, with no exemption experience moments of unbearable pains and unanswerable questions. Many times I’ve been to that too. I even literally pushed my head against wall and wished not to wake up the next day. Surrendering and clinging to God’s mercy was the only weapon left in me. This is the world. There maybe trials but there’s hope. There maybe pain but there’s always love. You are so gifted and surrounded by love Caralyn. I believe you can make it! For God gives His best battles to His strongest warriors. Sending you and family hugs and prayers..

    Like

  26. I’m so glad that you shared this! We often go outward with our frustrations and lose sight of what we do have❤️ keep sharing your story

    Like

  27. There have been many times I’ve felt exactly the same way you describe here. I was in God’s house with the wrong attitude. I was there because I felt I had to be, not because I wanted to be. Those were the times our pastor would speak directly to me without even knowing it. I would walk in with envy in my heart, and we would sing “Count Your Blessings.” When I would feel completely alone, I’d hear “Take It to the Lord in Prayer.” There was always something to remind me to be present.

    I don’t know if you even read my comments, but I just thought I’d add my voice as well. While we don’t get do-overs, at least you heard what He was trying to tell you and left knowing He was speaking to you. Having the right mindset going in is important, but so is the mindset we come away with.

    Like

  29. I find the spiritual battles we grapple with while we are sitting in church intriguing. I’ve had similar experiences both sitting in the pew and standing on stage helping lead worship or delivering a sermon. I always wonder how these thoughts have the ability to seep in at the oddest times, like when we’re at church and we should be full of the Spirit and focused on worship. I believe your point about responding with praise is spot-on. Praise helps us say “Get away from me Satan!” and concentrate on the One True God. Thanks for this post. Hit the spot.

    Like

  30. I want you to ask yourself this question. “Am I angry with God, or “bewildered?” I have never been angry with Him, but I have really been “bewildered” a lot regarding circumstances in my life. Sometimes we get these two confused. When I am in these situations this is the prayer which I always go to. Short but to the point. By David.

    “My soul thirst for Thee like a dry, weary land without water.”

    I say this, because at these moments in my life that is what my soul truly is. “A dry, weary land without water.”

    We have to step back in silence and hear the water flowing in our souls. Do not quit until you hear it. Sometimes it flows quickly, sometimes it is as if it is like a dripping faucet, and there are times where it is just a desert.

    If you will just set some time aside and quiet your soul enough so you can hear it, eventually you will.

    You know Mother Teresa said something to the fact, (not a direct quote) “If my suffering gives you pleasure oh Lord, then I willfully do it.” “If my suffering brings others to you, then I offer it.”

    I always tell God these things also. It helps to get “me out of me, so God can do with me what He will.” (by St. Faustina)

    One other thing I do is ask St. Anthony to pray that, “I will always find God in my wilderness.”

    So hang in there. Life is life, and God is God. I love you very much. God Bless, SR

    Like

      1. Think about it really hard. A lot of the time it is not so much anger as it is our exasperation from not being to understand why “all” of “this” is happening to us and will it ever end! God Bless, SR

        Like

  32. Gen. 4:7
    We are the conduit through which God sends the medicine of love into the world.

    Many of our physical ailments are signs that we harbor something that rejects that love. It’s not part of us – it’s like the bacteria that lives in our gut.

    Try to think of it as a petulant child that needs to learn the virtue of cooperation.

    If you haven’t read Madeline L’Engel’s A Wind in the Door, it’s a great metaphor.

    It’s harder when the door is inside us, or inside someone that we love – even worse someone that we have depended on all our lives for physical security.

    Like

  35. You are not alone with the feeling anger towards God or asking why? I am a Christian and my beliefs stem from learning bible truths- like God is not the one causing our life struggles, Satan, and his demons that have been cast off from heaven roam about on the earth and as brought out in Revelation 12:9 . And because Satan deceived Adam and Eve, we all have inherited sin/suffering- Romans 5:12 NOT because of anything God has done. The account of Job is a great one to meditate on, if you read your bible or have one, you will learn who casted all the suffering upon Jobc (satan) and what God was allowing. God allowed it to prove that humans are capable of serving God by free will, not just because he provides blessings, but because they truly live and believe that he is the almighty god worth serving. “It is unthinkable for the true God to act wickedly, for the Almighty to do wrong!” Job 34:10. http://www.jw.org provides more biblical information if you would like to learn more or have more questions!

    Like

  36. He wants my honesty. I’ve been pretending not to be mad for who knows how long. I’ve even become unaware, but it’s there. That doesn’t fly, coz He knows what’s what. So, better these things revealed and we can bring them to Him. Better than pretending and disconnecting from the truth of our inner circumstance. Thank you for this post. I have been having trouble at church too.

    Like

  37. This is so beautiful and puts so much perspective into my life! I had given up on God when I was about 12 and I felt lost and confused because I wasn’t sure if I still believed in Him. But I understand now because you put it into words for me. The past 6 years, I’ve been giving God the silent treatment and I think it’s time to change that.

    Like

  39. This is a powerful post. I am nobody in the scheme of things, but I believe in God and I believe that God acts for a reason. You were right to be angry, you were right to question your faith, you were right to ask – ‘Why’. But God has a plan for you. Yes, he will test you. without it, you will not achieve your full potential. He will also reward you – But he wants you to figure it out, he wants you to realise the truth. Do you know that you have already done it? This blog touches the lives of thousands of people in such a meaningful and heartfelt way. It, no, you are a beacon.

    We watch your great heights, and like last week with people that didn’t understand your message, we saw lows. It’s human. You influence lives in such a positive and beautiful light. You have been through hell, and yet you have bared your soul to all of us.

    Those weak people that criticise you don’t have the time to share like you do. All they want to do is criticise. Their lives are sad and lonely – you understand that, your life was like that too, but you didn’t become a troll, you became an angel that shared her experiences with all of us.

    You created a website that gave understanding for all of the people who live lives of pain, hurt, anxiety, People like me that, once in a while read your blog and feel safe. Part of something good, wholesome. Free.

    Thank you. I don’t have the words to express how amazing I (and I’m sure the rest of your followers feel) but we all feel like you. The only difference is that you are brave enough to talk about it.

    God Bless You

    Like

    1. Hey Rich, thanks for this. You’re right – I fully believe He has a plan for me. I just need to be patient and give Him time to work in my life. And wow thank you for such affirming words. I am seriously so touched and am so humbled that you feel those things when you read my blog. Thank you from the bottom of my heart 🙂 you’re a blessing to me. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  40. I really appreciate your honesty in this post. I, too, have felt the same way in the past. Just remember that moments like these are chances for growth

    Like

  42. I see you have a lot of comments but I had to add one more. Call yourself and your Mom healed. Speak to the mountains, you have authority over every illness because of your faith in Jesus Christ. I have had to speak to health issues, finacial and family problems; some things happen immediately and others over a period of time but keep speaking in faith; our words have power. Any problem we put the word on must change.

    Like

  43. If you have not yet, read the book by Elizabeth Kubler-Ros, On Death and Dying. You will start understanding the process any human goes through in reaching Acceptance over trauma in life. There is the intertwining of fear and anger in the first human response to the unexpected. The trauma does not have to be cancer, which is where Kubler-Ross received her understanding. For me, it seems harder to watch someone else’s physical struggle than experience it myself. And have you had kids yet? When a stroke happens to a parent or grandparent, you are experiencing it yourself.

    Like

  44. Hello BBB I don’t know you good enough to give you any advice. But you have been visiting my blog for quite a while what I appreciate very much and what encourages me to say some words to you. I haven’t read the other comments, maybe the other readers wrote something what I want to say to you now. But no matter.

    I suppose you go through something what the mystics call “dark night of the soul” (John of the Cross). God is always the same but we are changing. And our faith is changing with us. That is no reason to be worried. Maybe you are at the moment involved in such a changing process. I experienced something like that by myself. Mostly that changes meant a maturing of my personality and of my faith. After that my faith was stronger and my relationship to God was deeper than before. You mentioned that you feel like spiritual numb. But your feelings in church although they weren’t lovely and peaceful are feelings too. We know that to those to who we are closest we are most angry at and that we nearly seem to hate them because, yes this sounds paradox, we love them most and have been disappointed and feel have being letting down. I’m often angry of the almighty God, who doesn’t seem to hear and to answer my prayers. I can endure that only by looking in the suffering eyes of Jesus on the cross in whom God himself became weak and vulnerable. So what else can we do in such a spiritual “crisis” or changing process? Actually we can’t do anything. But we can let it happen (what you called trust). I can’t judge that but maybe you have to slow down a bit. Working less, doing all the things you like and which do you good. You know by yourself (I guess) how to reduce stress. (You told in your previous post about the commentators who were hostile to you and who insulted you. The sorrows about your mother, your illness, the publishing of your book – that’s a lot which shouldn’t be underestimated.) We are so used that we must be winners and to have happy endings, that we undertake the same efforts in our religious practice. All the best, God bless you, Volker

    Liked by 2 people

  45. God is perfect. That’s a basic tenant of Christianity. God is just. Also basic. God is all-powerful (the “church” word is “omnipotent”). God is love.

    All these things or “attributes” of God are doctrines of the Christian faith.

    And if all these things are true, and bad stuff happens to us, how do we explain that? How do we deal with that?

    I found out recently that this is exactly why the Book of Job is in our Bibles! As I studied, meditated, and wrote sermons, Bible study lessons, and devotions (which I compiled into the book I Know That My Redeemer Lives – available here: http://a.co/5m7NXcG ) I found that all these things are true of God and still bad stuff happens.

    And I further found out that the bad stuff that happens helps us realize that God loves us and, just as importantly, we are not God!

    Bad stuff doesn’t happen because we are being punished by God. The bad stuff is allowed by God so that we can more deeply believe in God.

    If we believe in – have faith – in God only when things are going well for us and we have good stuff in our lives, what will happen when things go south on us and we lose (or don’t get more) good stuff?

    Why do we believe in God? Because He gives us stuff? Or because He’s God and He loves us and sent Jesus to save us from our sins?

    These are the thoughts your post inspired in me. Keep up the good work, my sister-in-Christ!

    Like

    1. Amen to that Ed. I really need to read Job and meditate on that story. You’ve shared such a powerful perspective with me and I really appreciate it. Jesus really was sent to save us and i need to remember that. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  46. Trials meant to strengthen our faith not make us weak. The strongest trees with the strongest Roots have been through the most fiercest storms. However this trees that have not been exposed to storms are easily susceptible to fall down. Christian’s that are exposed to harsh conditions remain strong in faith. Christian’s that are exposed to harsh conditions who do not have strong roots are susceptible to feeling and bitterness. Let the bitterness be put away from you. Remember Jonah. Perhaps another reason you felt awkward being in church for the first time in many years is because God is revealing something to eat I don’t know for sure but I know that sometimes we as people tend to have all the answers or at least think we have all the answers. You show me a man that has not been through trial and I’ll show you how he has no faith to stand on when the storms of life come. I’ll give you an example. When I was put in prison a few months ago do you think that I enjoyed it? The quick answer is no. However I did enjoy being still. Even though I was under house arrest I was still able to be still and search for answers even in the midst of the biggest storm in my life. I never thought my brother signature would be so powerful to put me in jail. When I was released I became happy I also was very happy in prison towards the end because I realized the good work that was produced. Tribulations won’t always happen and we won’t always be in the valley. But if you’re in the valley all you got to do is start climbing until you see hope in Christ. Think of Christ as your anchor and your steering a ship period when the storms come through your anchor meaning when the storms come run to the word just run to the word when you feel good run to the word when you don’t feel the word should be produced in a person’s life 24 hours a day 7 days a week. So that when a trial comes you know how to face it before it seeks to destroy you. Be ready in season and out of season. May Christs love abound in you. Dont forget to smile for two reasons. If you allow yourself to be you can be more than a conqueror. Plus I think is your best quality.

    Like

  47. I haven’t read all the comments above so I might be repeating what’s been said, but I love how God reveals what we need to hear. Sometimes it’s in church, in our car, or whennon our knees in prayer. I’m so thankful that he doesn’t give up on us when we give him the cold shoulder.

    Like

  48. My Mom also had a stroke about a year ago, and it took a long time for me to realize that being positive throughout her recovery (which is still ongoing) made a world of difference to her, myself, and everyone in our family. I had countless conversations with my Dad in the beginning where I had to stop him from going down a road of pointless and aimless anger. I hope you continue to find the positive until things get better.

    Like

  50. So timely that you write about being angry with God when you can’t see any good in a situation. Your words about trusting His purpose resonated with me!
    Thank you for visiting “Joywriting.” The upcoming posts (2 parts) I mentioned today, about my five years as a fake, address a different aspect of your same idea. They will go live this coming Monday and Wednesday.
    Best,
    Jan

    Like

Join the Conversation!