Walking the Talk

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I had a pretty unforgettable experience the other day.

It was a Friday afternoon. I had a free hour or so, which hardly ever happens, and so I thought I’d go to evening mass. And I decided to go to a church I had never been to before in midtown NYC.

Like I mentioned previously…I’m “Husband Hunting.”

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Cue the hair and makeup team…

ANYWHO…

We’re all sitting in the basement of this little chapel, just a stone’s throw from Penn Station, and the gospel was on “Whatever you do to the least of these my brothers, you do to Me.” (Matt 25:40)

Truthfully, I had kind of zoned out during the gospel. I know, I’m a horrible person. But I mean, how many times had I heard that classic parable? My mind was wandering to my plans with my friends that night, and what I was going to wear, and how much time I needed to get ready. I hate to admit it, but it was a classic in-one-ear-and-out-the-other kind of a scenario.

Well, fast forward to when it was time for communion, and I’m sitting on the aisle, and in true unabashed fashion, I’m checking out any potential men as they make their way up the aisle.

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And at the very end of the line, a homeless man, kind of staggers and hobbles his way up to the front.

And if you’ve never been to Catholic Mass, there’s the Eucharist ((bread)) – which everybody receives – and then off to the side is the wine, which is optional. And you typically just take a teeny-tiny, taste…not even a sip.

Well, this man, walks to the front and sidesteps the bread, and goes straight to the wine, where he chugs the entire vessel.

And as he’s walking back, he is very disruptive: banging on the piano, messing with the candles, muttering to himself, tapping a couple people on the shoulder. Just, kind of causing a ruckus before busting through the back door in an exit made for a TV movie.

I’m going to be brutally honest here, I was really not thinking very kind thoughts at the moment. I was being pretty grossly judgmental. Quite ugly, in fact.

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And as I was sitting there beginning to spiral into thoughts of, I hope he doesn’t have a gun, or How could he abuse communion like that? – God literally hit me over the head with His message.

For in that moment, I realized that this was literally the gospel – that I had just heard five minutes ago – playing out right in front of me.

Whatever you do to the least of these my brothers, you do it to Me. 

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Suddenly, I was filled with so much conviction for the horribly judgmental things I was thinking. And I saw that man with new eyes – as though I was looking at Jesus.

His toes were sticking out of the fronts of his worn out gym shoes. His tattered clothes were hanging off of him. This was a broken man, hungry and cold, that was trapped in the cycle of addiction, and needing some serious help.

And it was then that it dawned on me…what I had just said about that homeless man, could have been said about me too, during my anorexia. I was that man – broken, hungry, cold, and trapped in the addiction and enslavement of my eating disorder.

I had been there.

Sure, I may not have been stealing communion wine, but I had been doing other things that were just as unthinkable.

What about my habitual lying about my food intake? What about my addiction to the feeling of emptiness and impulsive need to burn calories?

I was no better than that homeless man. How dare I sit there and think disdainfully of him? This man needed compassion. And empathy. And help.

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Walking home and thinking about that gospel, I realized that I had always thought about it from the position of privilege. “Someone who is hungry, or in prison, or naked, etc. etc…those downtrodden people, how sad for them. I’m so glad that’s not me.” 

For the first time, I realized that, I was “those people”….We are all “those” broken people at one time or another.

And so was Jesus, when He chose to die.

Since then, I’ve often thought about that man. Especially as the temperature is dropping, and we’ve come to the time of year where family togetherness and overeating are all the norm. And I wonder if he’s warm. Where his family is. Where’s he’s sleeping.

I guess the next time I’m quick to judge, I need to take a second look. See Jesus. And see  the thread of humanity that is present in me, too.

And maybe it’s time for me to look into volunteering at the local soup kitchen.

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

297 thoughts on “Walking the Talk”

    1. Hi Margaret! oh He really does! I feel the same way. hope you had a beautiful Thanksgiving! thanks for stopping by! big hugs xo

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      1. Loving your white sweater and your boots, by the way. It’s always a pleasure stopping by. I’m not going to say you know I wouldn’t miss it for the world, because last time I said that for the next couple of weeks, it would be days before I could get to read your post LOL. God bless you. Big hugs :):)

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  2. This reminds me of when I think i have something to hold on to, as the illusory exterior part of me grabs it evaporates and I stumble at the feet of Him reminded again i need to be rid of “die” to self

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    1. That is such a powerful image. One that I can totally relate to. you’re right – we need to die to self. Hugs and love xox

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  4. Praise God that your heart is soft and moldable in His hands and that you listened to His prompting. Not everybody in the Church gets that.
    Bless you, Caralyn!
    KEEP THE LIGHT ON!

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      1. Given my limited interactions with you, I get the impression that your message would be better received by those who are “damaged goods” or someone who can still see others unconditionally.

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  9. Hey, lady: have you done or attended book signings? Done or attended any inspirational speaking? Mass is a pretty passive exercise – not the best way to meet the kind of person that would be able to go toe-to-toe with you in a relationship. I hate to say this, but you need to put yourself front and center.

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    1. Hey Brian! thanks for that idea. I’ve definitely attended some conferences and things. pretty awesome people for sure. hope you’re having a great night~ Hugs and love xox

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  10. I had an encounter with a man needing money for a meal and I was reluctant to give him any. I felt awful but knowing some folks use handouts for not good purposes that thought took over. I felt guilty and I need to be more generous with what God gave me.

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  12. This is truly what I come here to find – hope. It’s eloquently written and thought provoking. Thank you for putting it out into the world. I think it’s so important to not judge others and the fact that you saw yourself in that homeless man and made that connection means you have the beautiful gift of empathy. Your stories often touch my heart. This one absolutely did.

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      1. You are amazing! I love your writing! Thank you for being you! Just so you know, any guy would be so lucky to have you. I too, am searching for my one true love. I believe he is out there. You are so incredible I mean that. I’m sure you will soon meet that special man you are searching for.

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      2. Thanks again friend. Yes! Our men are out there! we just have to keep looking and be patient! big hugs xox

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  13. It takes a lot of courage to be honest with ourselves, and it took a lot for you to do that so, too.

    On the other hand, you can not judge even yourself and the reason is for that: God, our Heavenly Parent has never judged you or any of us. As a parent He sees the potential in each and every one of us and keeps encouraging.

    A prayer, a deed for someone else is an encouragement, too.

    Blessings!

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    1. Thanks so much Friend. I really appreciate that. You’re so right – He does see our potential. Hugs and love xox

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  14. This is a beautiful post! Very thought provoking. I so agree that we are all that man at some point in our lives. God bless you and your family. 👍🏻💕❤️

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  15. Beautiful post! I’ve never been a very religious person, but the message was still clear and relatable. I find myself judging at the way some of the homeless stagger around, out of their element, when someone should probably be kicking me over the head with a reminder that that person is still a person, and that I have no idea what circumstances led to their homelessness.
    I love that last line, too. And actually, I can tell you that from personal experience, it’s gotten a lot better—I feel my own mind opening—since I started volunteering at my local kitchen two years ago. And even moreso, now that I have a more concrete job working directly with the center!

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    1. Thank you so much! I’m glad this resonated with you. Oh that’s so awesome that you’ve had such a positive experience volunteering. I’ll definitely have to look into it! Hugs and love xox

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  16. I’m amazed to read blogs like yours in today’s world where people naturally look down on each other and fail to see how we all look in the eyes of the Universal Family. You are honest about yourself and it encourages us all to take a good look at our own performance and realize we like that man you mention are unworthy of a second look by our cousins in heaven. And yet, Jesus valued us and set us an example to treat others as He treats us. Thank you for your refreshing honesty, a rare commodity in today’s world. 🙂

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    1. Oh gosh thank you Ian. You’re so right – He did value us, so we should value one another. Thanks for your kind words! Hugs and love xox

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  19. We have all been this judgemental person! It is an ongoing battle, to keep ourselves in check. Jesus knows we are born in sin, and that’s why He’s given his blood for us. Of course, that’s not an excuse to keep on sinning, but it is a comfort when we fall and need to pick ourselves up.

    God bless you, always!

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    1. Hi Miss Jay! Thank you for your this thoughtful response. You’re so right – it is definitely a comfort! Hugs and love xox

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  20. A very conscious choice. I would help more. My job. It’s tough. I never had that privilege you speak of they were the people I grew up with. Some of them got better. Most. Need a lot before they hit, poverty. This is our America and our reality. Jesus. Kind of blesses those with the most. Which is fine. We made poverty and we made poor and the rich. Trespassing. Gets you a weekend in jail. Six meals you don’t have to beg for.

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    1. Thanks Kenzie for this powerful insight. Yeah we need to help and give to the max. So much to mull over. Thanks for stopping by and for offering this moving perspective. Hugs and love xox

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      1. You will find your own way. I don’t hide where I came from. When the need arises after a disaster I shut my business down now and go fight. God. Is there somewhere but, it’s really not about that. It’s people. I see that helplessness and you just know. I don’t pull people aside and ask, are you a Christian? Have more. Are you an immigrant? Have less. Would Jesus do that? I’ve been helping others my whole life. I never expected anything. I guess. It’s what I received. Nothing. Sure. There’s a philosophy that looks good on telethons and pins and ribbons for giving because, that one day out of a whole life of privilege. Huge deal. It’s hard to convey that. Mother Theresa was told by a reporter once, “I wouldn’t do this for a million dollars.” She replied, “I would not either.” That is, what volunteering should accomplish. That is, why Amish can build a house in a day. The pride is the pin and the T-shirt and the Instagrammable pose. The worth is when you don’t need that stuff and see them with love.

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      5. You pick the safest sentence to respond too. I want dialogue. Argument. Be wrong. Be right. I’m just, not this. Bye. You’re in good company.

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      6. Sorry Kenzie, I’m not the arguing type. Glad you stopped by and i do appreciate your thoughts and perspectives. Have a great night. X

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      7. I just, like blogs with, conversations. Possibly even an action from its contributors. It seems at times all the comments are compliments to you. Totally taking away from the hard subjects. Homeless have nothing. Literally. To receive even one compliment for something you haven’t really done yet. I don’t know. Seems wrong. I just can’t be a part of it anymore.

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  21. There’s a poem, Delight in Disorder by Robert Frost. You should read it. I’m sure you’re a sight when glammed up, but the picture of you in tonight’s post is perfect. Take a tip from a guy who shied away from some gorgeous women, because I was too intimidated by them.

    I met Meredith Baxter once. My heart was about beating out of my chest when I walked up to her – I really had to psych myself up just to walk across the room – but by the end of our short conversation, it turned out she had been yearning for someone to just walk up and talk to her like a person! I found out later that I made HER night.

    Remember; you’re that Tiffany lamp with God lighting you up from the inside. No amount of makeup and hair spray will ever match that kind of beauty. Go with what you do best; be the BeautyBeyondBones we all know. Clean, smiling, and some nice casual clothes. God does the rest.

    Caralyn, I’m sitting here with tears in my eyes. I don’t know exactly why other than I know something of your experience. Read about an Elaborate Plan https://jeffreyhking.wordpress.com/2015/12/28/elaborate-plans/ that played out 2-1/2 years ago.

    I was cheering inside that you maybe followed him out, bought him some food, etc. But as I thought that I also worried what could happen to you if you did; attractive, not especially strong – outside of hugs! – who knows how that might have ended.

    I think the soup kitchen idea is a great one. It’s a controlled environment, safer than going on a Lone Ranger mission! Remember the old guy you wrote about months ago that bent your ear at the deli counter? Who knows when you’ll meet another one of those?

    There might even be one or two cute volunteers or staff guys there!

    I’ve been enjoying Bloom and, as you’ve seen, been writing some offshoot thoughts when I can find something different to say on the same situation. And of course always ending with a pitch to buy your book! I hope you’re seeing a bump for it!

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    1. Hey Jeff! Wow what an awesome story about Meredith Baxter! And gosh, thank you for that beautiful encouragement. You seriously are so kind, Jeff. I look forward to reading that article. And you’re right – no Lone Ranger missions for me 🙂 yes! That’s exactly what my dad said about the guy volunteers! Haha thank you. And yes! I did notice that! Thank you!!! Alright hope you’re having a great night! Hugs to you and Julie!

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  23. Thank you for your brutal honesty. I think we’re all broken in different ways, but that’s how the Light gets in.

    Please tell me, did anyone come to the man’s aid or were people too shocked to? I really hope someone felt moved enough to offer him some food, or new shoes or a warm coat. Of course, me commenting after the fact is very different to being there.

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    1. That’s how the light gets in! I love that so much! Thanks for sharing this thoughtful response. Unfortunately he bolted out the door before anyone really knew what had taken place. So just prayers for the man. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  26. Yes! we must remember values will adjust to your circumstances in that moment you decide the answer to God’s question “Am I my bothers keeper” Now husband hunting! well from what I see that wouldn’t be bad list to be on

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  27. I just want to say thank you for your post. I am going through some pretty uncomfortable transitions right now and I needed this eye opening reminder that continuing to be kind even when everyone else around me us not, is just what I needed. As a person also in recovery, it is necessary to remain humble. We are all His children. Thank you.

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    1. thank you so much or haring your story. i’lll definitely be keeping you in my prayers. you’re right – we are all His children. Hugs and love xox

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  29. You are truly an inspiration and a vessel of beauty inside and out.
    Thank you so much for this reminder. Have a lovely day. 🙂

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  32. I heard a similar story in a book I read, don’t remember the name of the book, but the story stuck. A man was on a train with his kids, the kids were being what he considered to be a tad obnoxious, even disrespectful. The story teller was relating how he was judging this father for not having control over his kids and judging him as a father in general. Wisdom caught him before he spoke and instead, he started a civil conversation with the dad. He found out, they had justy come from the funeral of their mom and the young boys were acting out a bit – not really knowing how to express their grief – and the dad, grieving also, did not have it in him to discipline them being they had just come from the funeral of their mom. The moral, is learn the story first – do it with genuine interest with a sense to help, not condem. God Bless!!

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    1. thanks so much for sharing this. oh wow, that’s such a powerful story. you’re right – learn the story first! Hugs and love xox

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  37. I wanted to say, I related this story, because I have and still do at times the same thing. I automatically think many time “Don’t they know any better!?” Rather than, I wonder what’s causing them so much pain. Love and hugs to you to!

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  40. What a beautiful testimony. I did something similar and I immediately rectified it. I’ve sung in church choirs for ages. Most of the choirs (with the exception of our church in SC, have been in a “choir loft”. Well, as you might know, most protestant churches have a loft, but its actually a balcony for more seating. The church we’ve been in since 2000 hasn’t had a true “established choir” for quite some time, but an organist, and those of us who go up and sing. On occasion you get people in our church who “come up” and find out that its the singers who are there, and not just “other parishioners”. When that happens you want to act hospitable, but at the same time you feel like “this isn’t a free balcony, either join us in singing or don’t come up”. Well one time, some years ago, it was before Mass, and a couple with a baby came up. I was in the middle of the loft and blurted out “this is just for singers”. Well after they left I felt VERY remorseful and went down and shook their hands personally during the sign of peace and told them that they could come up whenever they wanted. You are right, we aren’t “privileged”. We are all God’s children and we need to give from our hearts. I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving and its always wonderful to read your posts. Hugs and love!! xoxoxoxo

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      6. There is a light about you this Advent and Christmas that shines brighter than the whole of the holiday lights in all 5 NYC Boros!! The amazement of The Rockefeller Tree is no where near the amazement of all that is you!! xoxoxoxo 🙂 🙂 🙂 sosososo

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  41. Thank you. I am grateful that church gave the man some warmth and company, at least he left filled with the blood of Jesus. 😉

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  43. I so enjoy your posts. They are so full of real life — where God likes to get our attention. And you have hit on the secret of Jesus… He was truly able to put Himself in the place of the downtrodden and miserable — it was the source of His compassion. It was WHY He was so compassionate. And maybe it is one of the reasons why His ministry was so laden with power. God is never distant from our pain. He is truly in the midst of our pain. And when we turn compassionate eyes to the lowly and hurting, we find we are loving with the the Heart of God. Thanks for your words, your dedication, and your honesty. God is blessing you in ways you cannot yet see… M. A.

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    1. Oh my gosh MA, thank you so much for this beautiful response. You’re so right – He is with us during our pain and suffering. What a comforting thought. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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  44. I caught myself the othe night, judging another woman for a relationship she was in. I absolutely had no right to sit there and talk about where she was with God. This blog post reminded me again about my behavior!

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  47. Sometimes that still small voice can truly grab our attention and shake us to our very core. How sweet of you to remind that we have all allowed those thoughts to enter our thoughts, but how wise of you to not allow them a foothold….blessings…xoxo

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    1. Hi Ann, thank you so much for this thoughtful response. You’re so right – that still small voice. Hugs and love xox

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