The Catholic Sex Abuse Scandal

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

I’ve never been ashamed to be Catholic before.

Not until now.

Given the nauseating information coming to light about the atrocities of sexual abuse in the Church, I am filled with so much disgust, and anger, and yes…shame.

I feel like, you tell someone that you’re Catholic, and it’s like you’re admitting to worshiping at an altar of pedophilia or child molesters. I feel embarrassed. Ashamed. But more than that, I am enraged.

I want to start out by addressing the victims. Thank you for having the courage to come forward and share your story. I am so incredibly sorry that you had to endure that, and live with the aftermath of what those sick men did to you. And I know an “I’m sorry” is laughable in response to the life altering wounds you’ve carried as a result. But you need to know that you did not deserve to be violated, especially by a man that was supposed to be in persona Christi to you and the world. I pray that God’s healing grace wrap around you, as your wounds are reopened with each and every new allegation that comes to light.

These allegations and disgusting truths that are coming to light are going to change Catholicism forever, I fear. People are calling for the resignation of Pope Francis. And frankly, I am one of those.

It pains me not to be able to throw my support behind the leader of our Church, but if the allegations are correct that he knew of the culture of homosexuality and abuse that was rampant among Cardinals and Bishops, and knowingly looked the other way…he needs to be removed.

The body of Christ – the people of the Church – are grieving right now. They are reeling. And angry and confused. And to hear that they need to fast and pray in reparation for the sins of sick, sick men, though coming from a well meaning place, is doing nothing but drive a wedge further between the lay people and the ordained. A clear message needs to be sent that this abuse and systematic allowance of such creeps to continue to abuse is coming to an end. The pedophiles and child molesters will be brought to justice: put in jail, and given the mental health treatment that they clearly, so desperately need. And that those who allowed such sick behavior to continue will be rooted out completely — up to and including the Pope.

As a Catholic, that is not a fun thing to admit, but in order for the Church to truly heal, in addition to prayer and fasting, what we need is the confidence in our leaders that they truly do have our best interest at heart, and are on our team, protecting the Institution of the Faith granted them by Jesus.

There are so many issues that are being spotlighted in all of this. So forgive me if my thoughts are a bit sporadic.

First of all, I’m so glad that the Pennsylvania Report came to light with the degree of gut wrenching detail that it did. Although reading the report and hearing about the specific, graphic detail of the abuse made me want to vomit, it needed to be shared. All of this language used to down play the gravity of the actions — “grooming,” “inappropriate touching,” “sexual misconduct,” — no. I’m sorry. A grown man made a child bleed from the anus after raping him. That is not “grooming.” That is a sick child molester that used his position of power to violently assault a child and then got away with it. He should be in jail and exposed for the creep that he is. Not slapped with a “grooming” charge and then shipped off to the next unsuspecting parish across the country.

Oh it just makes my blood boil.

And I want to pause to just say that there are good priests. Men who dedicate their lives to serving Jesus and live a chaste, holy life in devotion to the Church and her people. And it is such a damn shame that there are these bad apples that “ruin the bunch” in society’s perception. And to that end, those good priests are also hurting right now. And now, more than ever, they need our support. They need community and loved ones around them, as they too, carry society’s mark of shame around their necks in black and white. Invite them to have dinner with your family. Write them a letter of support. Because the vast majority of those in service to the Church are good priests.

But to that point, especially back in the seventies, there was/is a small, hidden culture of active homosexuality among some priests. Look at McCarrick. Homosexual orgies taking place, beach house vacations among priests where the Good Lords knows what took place. That is not okay.

And this is such a tricky issue, because homosexuality is such a hot button issue, especially among the Church.

But whether they are a heterosexual or homosexual priest, they are called to live a life of celibacy.  Drug fueled orgies and pedophilia of any kind are just fundamentally wrong, particularly so for an individual placed in a position of high regard and trust.

Lastly – being gay or being celibate does not make one a child molester or a pedophile! Hell, I live a celibate life, as I’m saving my virginity until marriage. But just because I’m chaste doesn’t mean I have all this pent up sexual energy that makes me want to harm children! The men who did those things were sick, sick men, and need professional help, received from the inside of a correction facility.

It takes a strong gut to be Catholic right now.

Hearing these allegations ignites in us one of two options: fight. Or flight.

This is a defining moment in the church. Are we going to walk away and go join another church? Because believe me, they’re gladly welcoming “refugee” Catholics with big, open arms right now.

Or are we going to fight? Are we going to stand up and say, “This is wrong. This is not the Church that Jesus founded. We need to eradicate the corruption.” 

And friends, I pray that we do the later. And here’s why:

We have a faith that is worth fighting for.

I don’t place my faith in fallible men who are running the religious organization, known as Catholicism.

My faith is in Jesus.

Jesus is worth fighting for. His Body and Blood are worth fighting for.

And sure, walking away would be the easy thing to do. But that would be a victory for the evil one.

I just want to close quickly with this:

Reading and hearing about the abuse scandal, part of my heart was reminded of an oddly different-yet-similar season in my own life.

During my anorexia, I lied, manipulated, deceived, controlled, and dishonored my parents. I completely and utterly shattered any trust they could have in me, through my actions. Lying about what I was or wasn’t eating, about my exercise habits, the pain from my Ulcerative Colitis, my whereabouts, my weight, my medications. I manipulated the love and concern they had for me, for my own sick and twisted ED gain.

But even though they were so deeply hurt, they knew that it was my anorexia that was making me do all those despicable things, up to and including starving myself down to 78 pounds, nearly destroying the life I was given by God, through them.

And through their pain and disappointment, they chose to love me through it. They chose to forgive me, and rebuild the trust that I had so grossly broken.

And sitting here ten years later, that relationship and bond that we have, is stronger than ever. And truly, stronger than it would have been, had we not had to walk through that valley of darkness.

I’m not saying that we as a church, need to just offer blanket forgiveness and forget this ever happened.

No.

My parents and family and I learned so much from that period of pain. Lessons that will resonate for the rest of our lives. As well as new lessons that we still are learning today.

This is an opportunity for renewal and a potential strengthening of the Body of Christ. An opportunity to come together as broken, hurting, brothers and sisters in Christ, and creatively work in unison, for a solution to this heart wrenching situation in which we find ourselves.

I am choosing to fight.

Fight for the relationship with Jesus that has rescued me and set me free from the grip of anorexia so many years ago. Fight for my Savior who forgives me and all my shortcomings.

Fight for the Church, who though broken and bleeding now, can be made new through shining a big spotlight on all the dark and decrepit crevices of darkness.

Jesus is the Light of the World.

Darkness will never win. Not now. Not ever.

See ya tomorrow morning on the Podcast!

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398 thoughts on “The Catholic Sex Abuse Scandal”

  1. It is heart breaking and many of us of different traditions are supporting you in prayer. Thank you for this honest and post and encouragement to the wider church.

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  3. Thank you for sharing this post. It is so hard when leaders fail especially in such dark ways. Fortunately Jesus is still Lord. Those who commit such crimes against children will face the wrath of Jesus on judgement day. Jesus said it himself when he said it would be better for them to tie a millstone around their neck and be thrown into a lake then to face him on judgement day. My hope is for the Catholic church to be purified. I am not Catholic, but in this day and age, we need each other more than ever as followers of Jesus.

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    1. Thank you friend. Amen – Jesus will always and forever prevail!! You’re right, I was thinking about that earlier today — Jesus definitely didn’t mince words when talking about that! So true – nothing more powerful than a supportive community. Hugs and love xox

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  5. It hurts, and it must be fixed. We got to pray for the innocent victims, their families, innocent priests the faithful and the church. This cancer will be cured in Jesus Holy Name

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  6. I have always felt the Catholic church is wrong in so many ways. The Bible explicitly explains so much, but the Church and leadership choose to do things their way. Communion is for all that have faith in Jesus per Jesus himself. That failure in the Catholic church right there is just amazing. Then there is mother Mary. The only way to pray is to Jesus directly. That is biblical. And the Pope being a direct line to Heaven? Nope! You will never see that in the Bible. I doubt the church will ever change. I think a lot of Catholics are thinking that too. Many are converting to protestant religions. At my church the converts always say, “I never knew these things were in the Bible.” We hear it often.

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  8. I feel remorse for those who would have intervened had they known, with such a blanket curse being placed over the church. I also read about the report on Catholic orphanages and the atrocities occurring since the forties (or earlier?) in them. I was abused as a child physically, verbally, malnourished, sexually abused, exploited and manipulated, but certainly not to the degree these children have been. I have been working for years on recovery. I cannot imagine where these poor souls are mentally today! If we cannot identify and make right what happened, we have to make sure it never occurs again. I think to “us outsiders”, the most concerning thing is the size of the organization perpetrating this, and who they are. With that kind of evil power and intention, what else have they hidden? Will we EVER be able to trust the church again? Are there others doing it? How do we help the victims? I think we all have to step up here and help in every way we can no matter our religion or religious or spiritual beliefs. I don’t believe the Catholic Church can fix this on its own, even beyond charges and arrests and sentencing. I don’t believe the world can or should trust them to. But that’s pretty tricky- separation of church and state and all. My guts want to run screaming mad into buildings with torches. But the rational side of me says that’s no better. What do you think it will take to fix the damage, the institution, the reputation, and most importantly, the evil desires within and the protections the church gave them to keep breaking the souls and minds and bodies of precious children for decades and decades?

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    1. Oh Amily, my heart breaks to hear what you went through. I am so sorry that you endured that abuse. I am sending you the biggest hug in the world right now. You’re so right – never ever EVER again. It is such a hard situation. Thank you for having the courage to share your story. Sending enormous hugs and love xox

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  9. My dear friend

    The root of evil lies in all of us, thus in all religions too even in those who represents the religions. What is this evil in us? – it is our mind that often controlls us in different ways – some are caught in greed, others, in power, again others in ego, then in such ones in hate and violence and also those in lust – keep on going Christ in you and also when others commit bigger sins, even within the Catholic Church, keep your mind pure so that it does not reives the effects other others whose minds are in darkness. My Master Sant Kirpal Singh used to say: stay in your religion where you were born, not necessary to dig new wells (new religions), but necessary it is to become a good Catholic, a good Protestant, a good Muslim, a good Buddhist, a good Sikh, a good Christian etc. and as Gandhi has put it: “Be the change if you wish to see a change in the world…” – so please, my friend, do not adopt the dark colour of evil deeds commited by others, no matter which outer lable they belong to – Go your way in light and harmony and lets pray that those who are in darkness may see the light again that they be aware of their own evil deeds (then they will change…) – with positive thoughts a scent of positivity will spread from our hearts, ray of lights to reach also those who are living in ignorance. Lets not judge those people as we all are not free of sins. What did Christ say when people wanted to stone Magdelena: “Who is without sins may throw the first stone…” In this world we have to become real human beings, in serving and helping others and when we love God we love everyone, as everyone is a child of God – so do not be ashamed as a Catholic as you too are a living example for helping many people suffering from the same disease as you did – stay in light and love

    From heart to heart
    Didi

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    1. Hi Didi, thank you so much for this encouraging response. I love how you say that we need to be the light. That is so important, given the degree of darkness in the world right now. Hugs and love xox

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  10. “I feel like, you tell someone that you’re Catholic, and it’s like you’re admitting to worshiping at an altar of pedophilia or child molesters.”

    But you’re not. You’re worshiping Jesus. Of course, you know that, and it doesn’t change the reactions from the people outside the Church.

    I wish I had something more useful to say. I haven’t talked to my Catholic family about how they feel regarding this… I want to say my prayers are with all of you and the Church, but to be honest I’ve been so busy the last month I haven’t been praying much. I will be praying, though.

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  11. While I am not Catholic and don’t subscribe to the Catholic Church’s teachings, I am very much a believer of Christ and as such see us all as brothers and sisters even though theological differences separate us. Therefore, my heart breaks for all of you who love Jesus and then hear stuff like this. I love your relationship with Him is strong enough to say let’s fight! I pray many others have grown in that same way that their relationship is personal and not predicated on the priest or person in leadership. All men a fallible. All men sin. Therefore whether Catholic or otherwise, all men will fall short. But when we look to Jesus, we will see healing. Many people would not even know the name of Jesus if not for the long history of the Catholic Church so I pray many will stand and fight and there will be better accountability for policies and procedures to address this behavior, which isn’t limited to Catholic Church, and a chance for all Christians to unite to say its time for overall change regardless of denomination for accountability of integrity within people who claim the name of Christ!! Great and vulnerable post. I am praying for all involved: victim, survivor, and abuser; congregations, and the good leaders who will be stuck having to defend themselves in years to come as people allow this to build walls between them and the church; them and God.

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    1. You’re so right, we all fall short. but praise God that He is bigger. thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Hugs and love xox

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  12. I just watched Fr. Mike Schimdtz video about this. I was emotional with him during the video. I don’t understand how anyone can harm a child in any way. It makes me sick every time I hear about something happening to a child. Last Sunday at church, Father read a letter from our Archbishop and part of what was said was, that they took advantage of being a safe place. Church should be a place you can go for help. And that really has been in the back of my mind this week. They always has those flyers at church for if you are depressed, or you need to talk to someone about being a single mom or abortion- I think it’s called Project Rachel?? Or if you need financial help. The church is supposed to help and they did take advantage of their positions. Another thing that Fr. Mike talked about was how someone muttered “child molester” as he walked by someone as he was out celebrating being ordained. And that hit me too. My Father on Sunday said he was at the store dressed in his collar and a mom and a son were behind him and he heard her say, “that’s what one looks like.” The gasps in. Church were so loud.

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    1. Oh his video is so powerful, isn’t it!? Gosh that makes me so sad to think what those good priests are going through right now. thank you for your encourage.t Hugs and love xox

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  14. The one fact that Jesus knew when He went to the Cross is that we are 2000 years later able to hinder the little children from coming to Him. What did he say about these depraved beings – that they would have millstones tied about them?
    But He knew that if we took up our Cross daily, and lived as He taught us, we walk in the Light. But without real repentance, the papal system is putting stumbling blocks in the path of those following Jesus. Christians cannot follow a priest, a bishop or a Pope but like the Bereans, examine the scriptures to see if these leaders are following the Word. We have to follow Jesus who forgave the men who judged and crucified Him. And pray for repentance and a return to 1st Century teachings of discipleship, and one-another accountability.

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    1. He definitely was extremely clear about that. thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. I will join you in that prayer. accountability is so important. Hugs and love xox

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  16. Dear Caralyn,
    You have spoken out before when the pains of the sins of others in high office in the Catholic church brought shame on all who claim the faith as theirs and mentioned that it was, in fact, an emotionally and spiritually draining experience. No doubt it would be for anyone who looks upon these men as spiritual leaders. I know as a clergyman that we are held to a higher standard, and rightly so! The Bible even tells us that and makes it clear that before answering the calling that we must be sure that we are able as well as willing!
    My question to you is this; are you more concerned with maintaining a loyalty to your identity as a Catholic or your identity as a Christian? Obviously as a young lady who has been raised in the faith the two seem to be synonymous. However, you said yourself, “My faith is in Jesus.
    Jesus is worth fighting for. His Body and Blood are worth fighting for.” If your faith is in Jesus Christ, which is what He asked for, (not faith in man), are you able to find that in worshiping Him outside the structure of the Roman Catholic church? Keep in mind that the early saints did not have a denomination and they were not even called Christians until the church in Antioch.
    Don’t let this be seen as my way of trying to lure you away from something dear to you but I don’t want to see someone of such great faith and love for Jesus Christ turn from this because of the evil and sinful acts of those who never seemed to want to serve Him in the first place.

    Love and Blessings,
    Jim

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    1. Hi Jim, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this incredibly difficult issue. you have raised some very thought provoking, deep questions. will definitely pray about it. thank you. Hugs and love xox

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      1. Dear Caralyn,
        Again, I would never want to imply that your life-long devotion to the church you love and have felt comfort in should be abandoned on account of the misdeeds of some of its leaders. It can certainly be challenging at this point in any Catholic’s journey whether faith was previously strong, weak or on the fence to wonder what comes next. Jesus always taught that our focus should be on Him and the Cross and the men who serve as clergy are the under-shepherds of His flock. God bless you in your journey.

        Love and Blessings,
        Jim

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      2. Thanks Jim. I appreciate your clarification 🙂 yeah it’s important to remember the foundation of our faith for sure. Hugs and love xox

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  18. I left the Catholic Church at 13 due to the child trafficking stories of Irish nuns, the abuse of unmarried mothers,the paedophilia that was being covered up even then, the stance on homosexuality….I could go on and on.
    I know my church has had its own scandals but they are called out and are dealt with without the whitewashing that seems to have happened in the Catholic Church.
    How to fix it, I don’t think it can be. It’s going to be a very painful time for catholics world wide. The hierarchy of the church is so corrupted where do you even start?
    Irish nuns have just been arrested, Australia care homes are being investigated, you’ve told us what’s happening in America. I think there’s more to come.
    I think by speaking out, it’s a start but will the catholics around the world stand up together and demand no more! Let’s hope so.
    God bless x

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    1. Gosh that is so so sad. thank you for sharing your experience. i’m sorry that you left on such negative terms. that’s absolutely terrible. yes – we have to stand up! Hugs and love xox

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  19. Very well written. I keep thinking of trying to write something, but don’t seem to be able to collect my thoughts. Really, don’t be afraid to suffer horror, shame, compassion, ridicule, etc. I think the disgust is an invitation to enter into Jesus’s suffering in Gethsemane. These were among the sins He saw that made Him sweat blood. When we feel the pain of compassion, isn’t that Him offering us a chance to share in Gethsemane, in some miniscule way? And if embraced and offered in love for both victims and perpetrators, what may it not accomplish?

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    1. thank you Ryan, I appreciate you sharing your thoughts on this. That’s important to remember. Hugs and love xox

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  20. As a Protestant Christian I have continually prayed for people to leave a religion we consider pagan and reminiscent of Baal worship. I don’t say this to be mean spirited, I say this to simply provide truth. Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to God. No other way is given by Jesus. No pope, no bishop, no saint or Mary can give you an audience to God.
    What I would ask you to do is take an objective look into how the Roman Catholic Church was formed. Then compare its similarities to the worship of Baal. Start with emperor Constantine. He was a Baal worshipper before supposedly became a Christian. The key to knowing Constantine is knowing that he was a politician first and foremost. He is solely responsible for diluting Christianity with the pagan worship of Baal.
    For the sake of your soul I beg you to do this for yourself. Come to know the one and only True Jesus Christ!

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    1. I appreciate you sharing your opinion, Don. I would respectfully have to say that I do not believe Catholicism to be pagan in any way, shape or form. But thank you for voicing your concern, and for taking the time to read. I am one hundred percent in agreement that Jesus is The Way! 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  22. Caralyn I knew that you would be writing about this topic soon. The whole thing is truly heartbreaking, and you explained so well what you and countless others are going through right now. There are no words really.

    And I was trying to think of what should be done now.

    I agree with you that the Pope should resign. This has gone on for too long.

    Each priest and bishop and cardinal found guilty should resign or be fired. Let there be a cleansing in this way. It’s better to have shortage of priests than to have sick men leading the service.

    And also it should finally be discussed to allow them to marry, like Anglican priests. I don’t ever remember hearing of a scandal like this in the Anglican church.

    Now I know this goes against the tradition of the church. And if they don’t want to marry then let them stay single, but I think it is time for new thinking along these types of lines. Let’s get down to the roots.

    These are just some thoughts I had.

    Thank you for not giving up. Keep fighting, keep moving forward my friend. Peace.

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    1. Interesting points you made. In the past parishioners once looked to the local priest for advice and counsel often regarding the issues found in marriage. I feel like allowing priests to marry and be true family men would make them better equipped to give such advice. I’m not making celibacy an excuse to commit sexual abuse, however I feel priests should be given a choice to marry. This whole must be married to the church crap serves no one. I wonder if there will be any young men entering the seminary if the church doesn’t evolve on this issue. Evolve or die out, sounds blunt but I think it’s true. And why allow female priests to be of service.

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      1. Well I hope it doesn’t die out, but yes hopefully evolve. And you’re right not being married is not an excuse for abuse, but I think it would help the church tremendously to weed out or stop the immorality before it even begins. Peace.

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    2. hi friend, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. You’re so right – utterly heartbreaking. and there really are no words. Cleansing for sure. And the young men who are coming up in the priesthood and seminary today are such strong men. They have answered the call when it is unpopular to do so. let them be the new energy and moral compass that we so desperately need. those are interesting solutions. Hugs and love xox

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  23. This was a great post! I was a little hesitant to read based on the title, but I agree with what you said. Unfortunately, a lot of people think these things currently happened, when they happened a long time ago, which is no excuse. I sincerely hope nothing like that is going on now.

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  24. A tough article to write. You did very well. My response-I don’t understand why people are surprised by these allegations???? These allegations are not new. Look at history!! The Catholic Church has systematically covered up sexual abuse for the longest of time. Fact! It is an institution that should not be protected from or above the law. What these men did was not only immoral but illegal. Laws protect children against predators and these individuals broke the law. Why should they be given a pass? Those involved in the covering up of such acts should be persecuted also. Put religion, prayers and forgiveness aside, this is a legal issue IMO and to not do so is a disservice to the victims.

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    1. thank you friend. yeah, it is definitely hard to think and write about. I know – sadly you’re right … not new. that’s the problem with a church run by fallen humans! You’re right – illegal. they should be in jain. Hugs and love xox

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      1. I forgot to say I hope you enjoyed your weekend trip to SLC. I’ve only been here a month and you gave me some ideas of places to visit. 👍🏼

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  25. The question of whether Pope Francis “looked the other way” is an enormous IF. You mention “good priests,” and how unfair it is for all priests to be corralled into the stain of this ungoing abuse. Yet, allegations of rampant molestation and rape have surrounded the Church for years and years. Surely the good priests all knew of the rumors and cover-up culture, even though they were not directly involved. Suppose Francis is ultimately in this category of “good priests” focused on spiritual teachings, in a Church long tainted by this sickness. Should every priest resign, for not working everyday to expose and punish these disgusting transgressions?

    As is likely clear, I am dismayed by the calls for Francis to resign, as I do believe him to be a deeply good person, who was placed at the top of an organization of which he was formerly a small part, or good apple, if you will. If his character and trustworthiness is now spoiled, isn’t that true for every priest in the Church? It may be so. Which is truly a shame, as the good works and calls for mercy and piety for which Francis, and any good priest, were formerly known will likely be dismissed and questioned and ignored.

    I’ve heard some gleeful calls for his resignation that blatantly cited his “socialist politics” as another good reason to see him go. Which is a grave concern to me. Because he is also a figurehead for helping the poor and caring for our shared earth, and diligently works to point out and heal the suffering wrought by inequality and the strong and rich over the weak and poor. You spoke of the resplendent parties and debauchery of powerful Church figures. I doubt Francis was invited to the party, as someone invested in calling the rich and powerful to task. I’ve never before seen a Pope cultivate humility to his extent, and eschew the fancy, opulent trappings that can come with the position.

    I just wanted to be a voice in his favor, though it may be too late for his legacy. But that might also mean it’s too late for the Church to make real amends. If the tutelary leader is gone, it may satisfy people as a symbol of change, while also alas making it easier for the shameless power mongers who long participated in and cultivated the abuses to slink away unpunished.

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    1. Thank you for joining the conversation and sharing your thoughts on this Nichole. You’re right – it is a big IF and I hope that truth can be found. And you’re right, I think a lot of people are sadly using this with a political agenda, whether they’re choosing to defend the pope or seek to have him removed. He is definitely more “liberal leaning” and that has seen to be divisive among catholics and non catholics alike. I pray that that does not cloud the judgement of what should be done in this horrible situation. Hugs and love xox

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      1. I was heartened to read your response! All too often, political motivations lurk as motivation only to be denied as such when questioned. I don’t know whether those matters can be separated from the equation for some who question whether Pope Francis ought resign or not , but I certainly hope that his policies related to class disparities (which has earned him multiple rivals in the Church) do not prove to be a factor in how these scandals are reckoned with and his role therein. I am currently of the mind that his urging of journalists to uncover the truth behind the most damning claims of his compliance is a response that suggests the inaccuracies of such claims. I guess I hope he is honest as I’ve given him credit for,as that would position him as a reliable guardian of the efforts to root out the ill-doings and cover-ups behind these entrenched, horrid acts . Entrenched, I suspect, because of a culture of cronyism, privilege, and sick entitlement.

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  26. That is one thing we can always be sure of. No matter how many strides “the church” is taking in the right direction, there will always be setbacks. Such is life. Catholicism as I have stated in another of my responses, is not the only sect of the Christian church that has darkness hiding within it. Just remember, without darkness, we would not know what light is. There is not light without darkness and there is no darkness without light. They have and forever will be 2 sides of the same coin. We as Christians just need to make sure we do not let that darkness swallow us. We also need to make our light shine brighter than ever before. Stay Strong. Keep Fighting. “We can do ALL things THROUGH CHRIST”. Stay Blessed Caralyn. My dear dear friend. Let nothing corrupt that beautiful soul. 🙂

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    1. you’re right, setbacks are inevitable becase we are children of the Fall and only Jesus is perfect. Amen – that[s how we know light. great point. thank you friend. Hugs and love xox

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  27. I am not a Catholic, but I am a believer in Jesus, and as such am saddened when my brothers and sisters are hurting. I loved that you pointed out your faith is not in a church, but in Jesus. And that is what I am praying for my Catholic friends. I am also praying that God will give wisdom to those in charge of decisions that need to be made concerning the crimes committed by the shepherds of God’s people. I pray for healing for those dear victims, and for justice toward their abusers. I just want you to know this is not just a Catholic thing, but a Christian thing. Many of us are praying with you.

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    1. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. yeah, it is very very sad. I will join you in that prayer. thanks friend. Hugs and love xox

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  28. I love your words and your spirit here, Caralyn. I’m going to share this on my Facebook. Yes, Christ is the center, the head, and the church is so precious as his Body. Your words give me renewed hope for the Roman Catholic Church. Thanks, sister in Christ.

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  29. You have not problem expressing your feelings. That is a great trait that you possess. Understanding that this is only temporary, do not let the Church affect your station in Life. That which is can only be judged, may not be an act of a Human.

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  32. To come Undone. Had you ever seen the movie “Spotlight?” Just as the Boston Globe and most local newspapers were coming undone, too. Did you ever wonder what it had been like living in Russia in the 1990s? Or what I heard about in Prague in 1993. Following the collapse of communism, the word was “lustrace.” As the invisible ink became visible, Lustrace, either religious or political, is the ridding by communities of ceremonial impurity. More complicated ceremonies involve confession of crime. In the days after the Berlin Wall fell, in the movement toward privatization, when those in power during Soviet Administrations stayed in power.

    Proponents of lustrace laws said that lustrace would prevent members of the old regime from exploiting their old advantage in the system and regaining influence. Lustrace was – as a community was to be purified either from collective guilt or from the accumulated ill-doing of a period of time – this attempt at considering sanctions or penalties designed to purge former party members, collaborators, or really evil informants, at reducing systemic risk in public service. So, the property is still here. Unless somehow your church property is forced into bankruptcy which is nothing but the State deciding under the law how to distribute what is left, because your own archbishop is unable to make those decisions, maybe after all the damage that he has done. Now who will buy up properties, after Communism when the State had owned everything?

    And what will happen to the Spirit of the Land which you thought had just been so automatic? Power is an interesting thing. Political power in any institution. And in church institutions, when men deny their own sexual power, in the name of sacrifice, Spiritual power can grow…. at a price. So in a world where so many are ready to thrown out the baby with the bath water….. in a generation which grew up with The Patriot Act and think that it is a good thing, did you ever know those inside wars, the civil ones, which never really come to an end.

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    1. this is so informative, thank you. I haven’t seen the movie, but after all of this recent scandal, I am adding it to my netflix queue! thank you for sharing this powerful food for thought. much to mull over. Hugs and love xox

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  33. What do you contemplate at Santiago de Compostela, these days? Do you ever compare this story of abuse over so many years, to surviving, after the Great Flood? Noah with his family of eight were all that we left in the end. One defender of the Church as quoted to have said, when it came to the coverup, it is better to have lost eight than to lose all the world. And she made me think about the film “A Few Good Men,” where in the climax, Jack Nicholson tells you about soldiers who make sacrifice. And how most of us cannot take the Truth.

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    1. what an interesting thought. very very interesting. during the pilgrimage, I was contemplating Jesus, and the mysteries of His life, and praying for my family, friends, and blog readers. 🙂

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  34. It seems that 1 Corinthians 5 might apply here. Though I am not Catholic, I agree with your perspective. It seems this problem simply has not been taken seriously enough by church leadership. It’s time to act decisively!

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  35. Good writing. Righteous thinking. I’m not Catholic, but I think you’re right in demanding change from the inside. There are too many millions of people caught up in this for a mass exodus to accomplish what needs to be done right here, right now. Call this criminal activity out for what it is. God’s blessed you with an unusual pulpit. Blessings on your use of it!

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    1. Thank you so much Nora. I appreciate your encouraging words. Yes – right here, right now. Hugs and love xox

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  36. Dear Caralyn It took a lot of courage on your part to write your post. I know how devout you are, and what the Church means to you. Please do not fear, this will be straightened out, at least as much as it can be. We are all sinners, and you will find sinners in the churches as well. Jesus is watching over all of us, and we can not go wrong having faith in Him. May the good Lord bless and keep you.
    Love
    Pat

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  37. Reading this last night gave me a sense of kindred friendship for you. I have felt and thought so much of what you wrote recently, only for the church I grew up in (Mormon) instead of the Catholic Church. I’ve actually thought about you and your church several times over the past few months. I’ve had the thought to go talk to a priest to see if he can share his ideas about who God is. But it’s difficult to do when you never know if someone is protecting pedofile’s – or one themselves.
    My greatest comfort is in the comments and writings of others who love God more than they love an institution. So the comments on this post are heart-warming. I wish that my fellow Mormons would stand up and demand accountability – but doing so costs them their membership in this church. Does the Catholic Church do that?

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    1. Thanks Nicole. I’m so glad this resonated with you. Yeah it has been a tough month for sure. I think the Church is definitely having a stand up and speak out moment right now. Hugs and love xox

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  38. The Bible didn’t demand celibacy for clerics. Without the shroud, they would be tried as sex offenders which, they are. They would have a trial, which they should and normally sex offenders do. There would be fines and restitutions paid to victims and the state to pay for the little signs that would have to be put out in front of churches and the flyers that must be distributed that your church leader, is a sex offender. If there’s a school he’s not allowed to be there.

    They are men, they are under the law here and they should be treated like, men. Not hidden within the ranks of the church because that’s a double standard. It ruins the laws here and the faith, there.

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      1. The law works, most of the time. Unless, you have money. It seems most victims are victims of opportunity. Poor. Single parents. Blinded by faith. One, or all of them.

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      3. When I was nine, my mom was a sexual assault victim so she saved me from that. There was an older pastor everyone loved. She hated him. I thought she was gonna kill him. A decade later one of the girls said something and he was retired. She couldn’t save everyone. When I got older, I saved my kids from that life and a few others. It’s all I could do. That’s how the culture changes. Took my family four generations just to have, normal kids with a normal life.

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      7. Have you ever saw Aziz Ansari’s, “Walking With Dinosaurs” sketch? It relates to what needs to occur individually. I think the church is passed remediation for sexual acts of anyone if it chooses to ignore these occurrences. Which they are doing, still. It’s unfortunate and it will take as long as it took my family to come back from those deprivations. We can huff and puff but, we’re not going to blow the church down.

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  39. oh, there’s so much i want to say Caralyn, but i know whatever i do say could be misinterpreted by others. I will, however, say that Holy Mother Church has ALWAYS had sinners. We are ALL sinners and not only that but we, as followers of the One True Faith, are not alone. Protestants can point the finger all they want, but there have been many documented cases of them doing these horrific acts as well, even worse, but they just don’t get publicized.

    In any event, aside from praying, if you want the honest answer, i really don’t look towards the higher clergy for inspiration, yes even The Holy See. It could be because of my Traditionalist Catholic ways, but i find reflective prayer and the study of the Church doctors, saints, and prophets of old for teaching and inspiration.

    In my opinion, both people of religious orders and the laity need to take the time to actually learn their faith and maybe by the grace of God this will stop.

    I’m glad that you’re keeping your faith, my friend. As what has been said plenty of times by a lot of people on Catholic radio I hear, “God never leaves us. Out of every evil comes a greater good.” I truly believe that.

    Love and Peace to you!

    • David

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    1. Thank you David for sharing our thoughts on this. I believe that too – placing my hope in the greater good. Big hugs to you xox

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  41. When the civil tort suits were underway here in Los Angeles, I was humbled by the complexities of the situation that the Church Fathers were trying to manage. Victims’ rights to privacy were important, and employment law prevents disclosure of records except under court order. The wrongdoing was pervasive and the cases difficult to prosecute and prove: the criminal justice system would have been overwhelmed, and bowed out even when charges were reported.

    The Church has its own justice system, the Vulgate law. The standard for priests is to present a convincing denial of charges brought by the laity. As Cardinal Mahoney characterized it, the church was “unprepared to deal with men that could lie with their whole being.” Worse, the pedophiles banded together, actively recruiting other predators into their cabal, and supported each other. They were drawn by the presumption of trust within the brotherhood – trust that they manipulated masterfully.

    I perceive that the Church fathers understand that this subtlety no longer plays in public. The only acceptable response is “We were wrong. Help us to do better.” But valuable lessons can be learned from this history, lessons that apply to our current political situation. Perhaps most importantly: it is not just the priests that deserved a voice. Cardinal Mahoney honored this belatedly, personally meeting with every plaintiff in the trial, but it should have happened contemporaneously with the wrong-doing.

    In history, the battle between the church and perversion goes back to the earliest years. Secular universities were shut down in the first millennium in part to control homosexual predation by instructors. For centuries Christian teachings maligned homosexuals, inducing shame and forcing them into the shadows where only the most aggressive dared to traffic – many of the rest lived frustrated lives in heterosexual marriages. In a sense, a bizarre symmetry is revealed in the practices you describe of homosexual priests: they used the institution that marginalized them as a haven for perversion.

    The ultimate lesson for me is this: it is not our place to judge. It is only our place to love. The Church fathers crossed the line from loving to judgment when they pronounced hard-edged rules and procedures for human justice. Just as it did for the Temple Priests during Jesus’s ministry, it came back to haunt them.

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    1. Hi Brian, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. “ we were wrong. Help us to do better.” That would definitely be a good response. Hugs and love xox

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  43. I so want to hug you now. I feel bad not only for you but for all my Catholic friends who are good people and love Jesus. I’m glad you did not try to defend the indefensible. In fact, this is more like the response we should have heard from the church leadership. We had Boston a few years ago. Pennsylvania now. This was just one city and one state. I’m afraid this is just the tip of the iceberg. What will happen when we see the church records of all the other states and dioceses all over the nation?
    I was a big fan of Pope Francis. But he needed to be proactive on this issue, and he failed. As disappointed as I am in him now, I can only imagine what it’s like for you. In my own tradition, we make a distinction between the Visible Church and the Invisible Church. It appears you will need to focus on the Invisible Church for a while by networking with others of the faithful who know the church needs to be reformed. A fish rots from the head down, but reform happens from the ground up. Your willingness to fight for your church to live up its calling is another reason I admire you. My prayers are with you.
    On a final note, I don’t remember the verse exactly but a passage in Timothy says when church leaders commit crimes against the church and/or society, rebuke them publicly. A lot less children would have been spared from this abomination if the Bishops, Cardinals, and Popes had done just that.

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    1. Aw thank you David. That really means a lot. I’m afraid you’re right about the tip of the iceberg. Hugs and love xox

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  45. Hi friend,

    First of all, thank you for speaking up and out so strongly about this.

    Secondly, I don’t know if anyone else has touched on this yet (there are too many other comments for me to go through), but “grooming” is actually a technical term for what molesters/traffickers/abusers do in order to gain the trust of a potential victim and his or her support network (usually family, especially parents). Grooming typically precedes the abuse itself, often by several weeks or even months if the perpetrator is a trusted member of the community or family. Examples of grooming behavior include showing favoritism to the target with gifts and attention, seeking special time with the child, lots of hugs/touching/physically friendly behavior, offers to help parents watch or care for the child, etc.

    I’ve not read the specific report that has come to light in these latest cases of heinous abuse, but I REALLY appreciate your harsh bluntness for not in any way obscuring or sugar-coating these crime. As a society, we need to have the stomach to look the disastrous offenses we have enabled (intentionally or otherwise) in the face. That being said, grooming is an actual, separate offense from abuse, and an offense very important to note as such, because it allows us to better understand abusers’ methodology, psychology, and patterns of behavior, in order to better detect potential threats and protect our children from them. It’s not a euphemism, even though it does sound like one.

    I just wanted to clarify this point for anyone who may have (understandably) misunderstood why the term “grooming” is or was used, since it’s an important part of the whole problem to be aware of, and not necessarily what it sounds like.

    Love and support,

    GM

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    1. Thank you friend. Oh gosh that makes my stomach turn to read about that manipulation of trust. Thank you for sharing that and clarifying. Ugh. Makes me sick. Sending big hugs xox

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  46. I am a little torn about responding to this blog. Your writing is so good, your passion is well placed, and your love for your church is clear. Faith in Christ is the most basic element of being a Christian. However, what does faith in Christ mean? There is an undeniable truth attached to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As a predecessor of Jesus, Mark spoke about the ministry of John the Baptist in this way, ” John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.” (Mark 1:4) Of Jesus we are told in verses 14 and 15, “Jesus came into Galilee, preaching the gospel of God, and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.” The true meaning of a Christian is a person who comes to believe what God says about all mankind, “For all have sinned…” (Romans 3:23) Sin is not some small thing in the heart of God, it is in fact intensely evil and worth punishing. For this reason some people repent or turn from their sins, and this they do by the grace and love of God. No Christian is perfect this side of heaven, so repentance becomes a life long process. But Christians do not go backwards or fail to change at all and continue to live out sinful lives. For this reason the Apostle John tells us in 2:19 of his first letter, “They went out from us, but they did not really belong to us. … But they went out from us to demonstrate that all of them do not belong to us. … ” Anyone can say they are a Christian, but it is what God says that matters, and God has said repeatedly that the evidence that matters is repentance. On the day of Pentecost after hearing Peter’s condemnation of his generation that had Christ crucified as a type of us all, when they asked what they should do, he said to them, “Now when they heard this, they were pierced to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Brethren, what shall we do?” Peter said to them, “Repent, and each of you be baptized in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins;” (Acts 2:37, 38). The man who lives a life of continual sin, so matter what the religious institution might be gives evidence that they have not received Christ in actuality. They are false professors and should be vied as such by all true believers. Please do not take anything I have said as against what you have said. I merely desire to set forth the Scriptural mandate to believe in Christ and to understand who is and who is not a true believing Christian. Love your blog.

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    1. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this difficult issue. There is definitely truth in that: to turn from sin and turn to Christ. Hugs and love xox

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  47. Not being a Catholic myself I may be sticking my nose into something that is not my business. But at the same time I am a Christian and want to try to add something. I think that at least in part Pournelle’s Iron Law of Bureaucracy comes into play. Those at the top are less dedicated to mission than they are the organization. Hence the cover-up in an effort to protect the organization. I also believe that if thy hand offends thee…cast It off. Even if those who are involved are forgiven the trust has been broken and the only way to fix that trust is to cut away the corruption. It’s not judgement as much as it is pragmatism. The non Christian world is like a wounded animal and will not trust anyone who is perceived to be a trust breaker no matter how much forgiveness is given from those on the inside of the church . Without the ability to gain trust and transfer belief the mission fails.

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    1. Hi Lloyd, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. You’re right – we need to be able to trust. Hugs and love xox

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  49. I am not religious nor will I ever be, but I respect your post from deep within. People like you are special individuals who fight for what they truly believe in and stand against evil. I personally would not judge a person for being of a certain faith simply because a small proportion of that same faith choose to do bad things. Keep doing what you’re doing! Hayley x

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  50. Thank you for this post. It made me cry. While not being sexually abused by the Roman Catholic church, I was sexually abused. I am glad you were blunt, and your apology was beautiful. Something I needed to hear right now for personal reasons. My parents are devout Roman Catholic and they are hurting too. I told them I believe all churches that follow Jesus (as he is revealed in scripture) are the body, the bride of Christ-and when one part of the body hurts, we all hurt. Some may want to dismiss entirely the Roman Catholic church and all its members. That would be like amputating a limb. All Christians need to come together, to grieve, to support the faithful members, and make sure every church is a safe place for everyone, especially children. The church needs unity today so we can be stronger and stand together against evil. Thank you again you made my morning better by showing compassion.

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    1. Oh friend I wish i could give you a big hugs right now. Thank you for having the courage to share your story. I am so sorry that you were violated in that way. Gosh you did not deserve that. You’re so right – we need to come together and support one another. Sending big big hugs xox

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