Three Thoughts that Changed my Life

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Every single one of us, whether we consciously realize it, have mental tapes that we internalize each day.

Good or bad, these subtle — or not so subtle — messages shape our worldview, our thoughts of self, our faith life, etc.

For a long time, during my anorexia, I let my eating disorder dictate those mental tapes I listened to. I believed I was unworthy of love. And that I needed to be perfect to have value as a person.

By the grace of God – literally – upon embracing recovery, I have let go of those unhealthy lies, and now, have adopted new mental tapes that have honestly changed my life.

And so I thought I’d share them with you.

These simple phrases empower me to be the healthy, joyful, thriving young woman God made me to be.

And maybe, they can inspire you, too, to adopt some similar mental tapes of your own.

So without further ado:

1) Just do the next right thing.

This one is courtesy of my mother, and has truly been the cornerstone of my recovery (other than, of course, Jesus). Because during moments when things seem overwhelming, or impossible, or terrifying, I just remember this simple phrase: just do the next right thing.

Take it one baby step at a time. One moment. One small decision. Maybe that’s to just take a deep breath. Maybe that’s to fill out an application to grad school. Maybe that’s to nourish my body with a wholesome meal. Baby steps lead to big step, which lead to leaps, which leads to bounds. And pretty soon, that intimidating mountain in front of you is beneath your feet, and you’re at the summit.

2) I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

The truth of the matter is that God has a plan for each one of us. A good, and perfect, and perfectly timed plan for every single one of His children.

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'” Jer 29:11

I don’t know about you, but I can often feel discouraged, needing to know God’s will for my life. Fearful that somehow I’ve missed what I was put on this earth to do. It gives me so much comfort and encouragement to know that I’m right where I’m supposed to be. With every day — every trial, every joy, every set back, every seemingly stalled moment — God is shaping me into the woman He created me to be. It is all part of His planned.

And especially when I feel restless for my life to “begin,” I particularly remember that we are transformed in the waiting.

2) I am loved.

This one, so simple, and yet so utterly life changing.

God’s love for me is freeing. It is transformative. It gives me hope. It awards me a purpose. It instills in my heart, peace. It overflows in my soul to be shared with others. It ignites my passion to be His love to others.

His love for me empowers me to care for the body He so generously blessed me with. It inspires me to live in such a way that reflects Him. And strengthens me and gives me courage to pursue a life lived for Him.

God is love, and in embracing with gratitude, His love for me, I realize that there is nothing more important in this world than to love others. That’s the mission. And it can take so many different forms. In literally everything we do, we can incorporate God’s love in it.

Everything from doing a load of laundry, to teaching and raising children, to being the best employee we can be, to leading a corportation, to serving those in need — we can do it in love. We can have it be an expression of love for God, through loving others.

Talk about a beautiful mission in life.

So there you have it friends. My new, three mantras that I have adopted in my recovered life. For 13 years now, they have served me, and strengthened me to respect and care for my body.

We must replace the negative with the truth. The truth that we are loved. We are capable of doing scary things. And we are where we’re supposed to be.

Glory be to God.

What are some of your healthy mental tapes that inspire you every day? I would truly love to know!!

“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5

TAKE ME TO THE B³ STORE!

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

178 thoughts on “Three Thoughts that Changed my Life”

  3. I too have “do the next thing” as a mantra because I get overwhelmed with a pile of tasks, even a small pile. I guess I assume it’s the right next thing. I also have a list of (small) accomplishments in my head I recite when I’m feeling down. Even if I can focus on one of these, it’s helpful…

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    1. Thanks Paula! isn’t that just a powerful phrase? it really helps put things into perspective and helps getting started seem manageable! Hugs and love xox

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    2. Thanks for sharing that, Shari. I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. I hope they are! 🙂 Sending so much love and hugs xox

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  7. “I don’t know about you, but I can often feel discouraged, needing to know God’s will for my life.” I identified with this more than anything! There are many days that feel like I’m doing nothing but losing ground, that whatever I’m doing isn’t the “what” I should have figured out by now. That’s when I do one or more the following.

    FIRST, from Desiderata, if you’ve heard of that: “Many a fear is born of loneliness & fatigue.” This has helped me ever since grad school, and I’ve shared I with my daughters. It’s the basis of a check list. First, did you sleep enough and eat enough? Second, have you spent too much time alone between your own ears? Maybe you need other input even if it’s nothing more than having a good laugh with someone.

    SECOND, I reexamine the path BEHIND me. What is the story of my life so far? There have been explosions, but there have also been successes. Sometimes the explosions prepped me for the successes. If my history teaches me anything, it’s that God has guided my life, has had me do the things I’ve been doing and meeting the people He wants me to meet.

    THIRD, Knowing God’s will is highly overrated. I read a novel series, Dune, many years ago. The pivotal character ends up living for eons and is aware of everything that ever has happened and ever will happen. He longs for nothing more than a surprise! If we knew all God’s will for us, where would be the surprises, the joy? I think that’s why God told us in the Old Testament that we are not to consult mediums. It goes against His will for us to live in faith.

    I hope you find something useful here. PLUS – we had talked before about you developing a second presentation based on “Emotional Availability.” That was a powerful article. What about this? Your first speech was your testimony of how low you got and how God caught you at the last minute. Your second speech can be your testimonial about the biggest touchpoints of your recovery, a combination of the challenge Emotional Availability and the three points that help you along. Just a thought. I hope you have a great weekend!!

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    1. Hi Jeff – gosh so much wisdom packed in this comment! thank you so much!! you always bless me with such great insight and powerful perspective shifts! You’r so right – lonliness and fatigue are definitely culprits to many a negative spells. Laughter, as they say, is the best medicine! Oh wow – that’s powerful to remember to see how far you’ve come, and what God has brought us through. Makes you reappreciate your blessings for sure. And amen – where are the surprises. It’s all about the journey, and not necessarily the destination! So glad you stopped by, my dear friend. Thank you for giving me these wonderful tidbits of food for thought. I hope you and your girls have a terrific weekend! Hugs and love xox

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  8. Great points Caralyn. Doing the next right thing is such awesome advice. It helps not feel overwhelmed when we approach it one step at a time. I needed to hear that today. Thanks so much Caralyn.

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    1. thank you so much!! i appreciate that. you’re right! it make it more manageable! and less daunting! big hugs to you xox

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  13. Love the analogy of the mental tapes. We certain all have them running in the background, all good when they are happy and joyful, but when they are negative they can turn your world upside down in a very short time. Great post. Thanks.

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    1. thank you so much! 🙂 Oh my gosh I am so touched, i appreciate you saying that. have a great weeekend! Hugs and love xox

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  15. “We must replace the negative with the truth. The truth that we are loved. We are capable of doing scary things. And we are where we’re supposed to be.”

    Caralyn, how true this is. Someone once said that faith is defined as the ‘explosive displacement’. It’s no use telling someone to stop thinking bad thoughts or doing harmful things. They must be replaced with good thoughts and good habits in lieu – a one-for-one replacement. 🙂

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    1. Explosive Displacement – what an interesting interesting thought. thank you so much for sharing that! You’re right – a one for one replacement! so glad you stopped by! big hugs xox

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  16. Amen to all three! Especially #3… so much human suffering is the product of failing to recognize that we are loved by God. Thanks for the continued encouragement.

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    1. thank you so much! I’m glad these resonated with you! amen! we really are so so loved! it’s lifechanging! have a great weekend! Hugs and love xox

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  17. I have to think about it. I like the thought and how you explained your 3 points that changed you and made you the person you are today.

    Don’t be negative. Sometimes, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Try to stay positive. No matter what you face.

    One thing at a time. Don’t clutter. Simple is better. More effective.

    No Regrets. It’s easy to look back and say well, ‘I should’ve done that.’ But we can’t. That gets us in trouble.

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    1. thank you so much – you’re right – positivity is the way to go! and yes! don’t clutter! I need to put that into effect for my closets! hahah Hugs and love xox

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  18. There’s beauty in embracing who you are because no one is a duplicate of you. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. I love all these three thoughts you mentioned because for they are essential reminders in every season. Thank you for sharing 🙏🏿😊

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    1. you’re so right Karen – there really is beautiful in embracing who we are! thanks for this wonderful encouragment! Hugs and love xox

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  19. Yes! Yes! That reminder of truth that ‘i am loved’ – like you, was and still is pivotal whenever storms try to set in. So true; what we set our minds on is so important and we all need reminders amidst all the distractions. Have a lovely rest of the day beautiful

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    1. thank you so much Indra! I’m so glad this hit home with you! amen, we are so so loved, and what a pivotal truth that is! (by the way, i love that choice of word you used…pivotal!) have a wonderful weekend, my beautiful friend! Hugs and love xox

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  21. God says He knows our every step before we are even born. He knows and is with us through everything when we let Him be and knows about it anyway. Thr good and the bad. I had a hard time with the bad part but realize God makes such intense beauty from thr most hurt and healed people and we learn to trust Him with that. Truly glorious and so precious. As always, love you, beautiful friend. Hugs!xo 😄 ❤

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    1. Hi Tonya! Thank you so much for this sweet response! You’re so right — every step before we’re even born! what a powerful and comforting truth that is!!! and i’m so glad youve embraced that! there IS beauty in that!! YOU are beautiful, inside and out!! love you friend!!! have a wonderful weekend! Hugs and love xox

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    1. THank you so much for sharing that, Stephen! i absolutely love that morning prayer! i’ll definitely adopt that! Hugs and love xox

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      1. hahah oh my gosh no worries at all! I answer to pretty much whatever! hahah Hugs and love xox

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  25. keeping the simple things in our daily thing is the trick, I think we all know the truth (generally speaking) but the world comes in and stirs the whole thing up distracting us from our foundation. I struggle with the same thing but then I review my mental tapes and a feeling of calm floods in…. just wish I was better at corralling the darn thing! but that is why I suppose I read your blog (aside from the non guac recipes), to remind me of our base connections. so, thanks.

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    1. thank you so much David! yes! keeping things simple, i love that thought! thanks for sharing these wonderful words of wisdom! hahahah non guac hah! Hugs and love xox

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  27. My dear friend Caralyn,

    If we perceive God in all people, since God dwells in the hearts of men (man’s heart is His temple), how can we think badly of others, speak badly of others (only to distract from our own faults)? Father and mother first love the child and the child reflects this love. We love God because He is the source of love and light, because He loves us and we answer His love. In the deep awareness that we are all one in Him, that we are not separated from Him, this awareness spreads within us to serve all people, to meet all people with love – it is the echo of His love in us, which we pass on to other people, brothers and sisters in Him. This inner attitude that God dwells in all hearts will evoke in us respect and esteem for all people, because it is respect and reverence for God.

    In the Scriptures it says: “Love and everything else will be added onto you…” Love is the essence of all life, it is the eternal ray of God’s radiance that illuminates all darkness. John Lennon: “All we need is love…”

    Since every human being is a unique signature of God, God has a unique plan for every human being – and all roads lead to Rome (sooner or later they will lead us to the true home of God) – so everyone gets his life served up in such a way that at the end of a long journey it leads to the realization of God’s plan in a perfect way.

    It seems that we learn to understand happenings in our life through pain and suffering, to take up understanding in our consciousness, to learn to understand the lessons we receive and to orient our lives accordingly.

    Dear Caralyn, I am always happy to receive your messages, because they make us reflect on our own life-situations and enable us to receive your personal experiences from heart to heart.

    In deep gratitude with much love
    Didi

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    1. Hi Didi, thank you for this absolutely beautiful response! you’re so right – God is in all of us!!! 🙂 what a powerful reminder to love others fully and completely with respect and esteem. I am so moved by your words! If only this mind set and heart set was in everyone! Yes – from heart to heart. I am so grateful for you, Didi. Thanks for being a wonderful friend and source of inspiration and positivity! Hugs and love xox

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  28. Mhmmm very powerful indeed, I’m inspired thank you fo sharing this🤗 I will definitely do the right next thing. Thank God for using to help us through Ur writtings. Even though intrusive thought I have just come from no where of which I don’t know how to deal with them they end up make me anxious

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    1. Thank you so much Thobile! I’m so glad this hit home with you! and gosh, i am humbled by your kind words – it seriously means a lot! Yes! we’ve got to interrupt those intrusive thoughts with positive truths! Hugs and love xox

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  31. Just coming out a 7 day fast. Nothing but water for 7 days. The experience reminded me of a couple of things.

    The Diet Games – Part 2

    You can read it there if you like.

    Reading your article, I am just reminded of the phrase, ” a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

    If you not going to walk up the hill near by your home, don’t bother thinking about climbing Mt.Everest.

    Often people talk about ambitions and plans, yet never take the baby steps towards them. Baby steps.. No child immediately runs a marathon. It first starts to crawl, then waddle, then walk, then run.

    Most people try running straight out of the bat and then make excuses when they fail or stop in between. All successful people in life have one thing in common – discipline. People who built their empires from nothing are pretty much the most disciplined people you would ever meet. But they also did one more important thing. They identified the baby steps that would allow them to begin their journey and took it.

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    1. oh wow that is intense! i look forward to reading about your experience. You’re so right – best to craw then walk then run. Otherwise, we’ll trip and tire out too quickly!! And i love that – discipline is such a powerful and impactful thing to have! stay well my friend! Hugs and love xox

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  32. Thanks for sharing these. I need to remember those thoughts too. Especially that I’m right where I’m supposed to be – I definitely struggle with that one. 🤗

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    1. thanks so much! i’m so glad these resontaed with you! amen – right where we’re supposed to be!! 🙂 have a wonderful weekend! Hugs and love xox

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  34. Think about other scenarios and many ifs like if I had that or if did that … it’s quite meaningless bcs really nothing will change the place where you are and no matter how you try it ll always be the way it’s supposed to be and not the way you want it so just enjoy the ride and believe that God only choses the best for us~! 💕🙈🌸

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    1. thank you so much Yiena! you’re so right — enjoy the ride! because He really does only choose the best for us! Hugs and love xox

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  37. Nice post. I like how you mentioned, do what’s right. Sometimes that’s difficult in this crazy world. I’ve come to a point in my life that if I have to second guess myself then I ask myself, what would Jesus do? I have my answer.
    Thanks for sharing.

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    1. Thank you so much!! You’re so right about that – in those moments, just ask what He would do! big hugs to you xox

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    1. Thank you so much Jim! I’m so glad this hit home with you! 🙂 calm and joy – those are the goal for sure! big hugs xox

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  39. Good advice I received from a mentor many years ago: “Don’t worry about ‘God’s will for your life;’ find out what God is doing around you and offer to join in!” 😉
    And an excellent book on your last icon: Change Your Brain, Change Your Life by Dr. Daniel Amen.
    See you in Heaven if not before! :-))))

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    1. thank you so much ! oh wow I LOVE THAT!! ask what God is doing around me and offer to join in! that is SO PROFOUND!!! thank youfor sharing that! and for the book recco! hav a great weekend! Hugs and love xox

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  40. I love when you share what works Carolyn! We must be mindful about what we put into our bodies, for that creates the thoughts we think. It all connects. Who we’re around, what we watch, read, listen to etc and then of course how we feel. Following your heart and intuition is where the real truth is inside. You are thriving and it’s clear from your pictures, your light radiates from the inside out my dear. So much love to you, have a wonderful weekend❤❤❤

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    1. thank you friend. you’re so right – we need to guard the temple! it really does all connect. thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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    1. thank you so much! I’m so glad they hit home with you! hope you have a beautiful weekend! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Thank you so much! You’re so right – we’ve got to give ourselves grace and patience to bloom. Hope you have a beautiful weekend! Hugs and love xox

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  44. I haven’t commented for awhile, yet your thought for today was timely. I especially needed to be reminded that where I am right now is where I’m supposed to be. I was laid off my job in February. Then the pandemic hit and hiring in my area came to a screeching halt. Thank you for reminding me that God has a plan and I must have faith in His plan. God Bless.

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    1. Hi Robert! Great to hear from you! I’m so glad that these resonated with you. I’m sorry to hear that, friend. I will definitely keep you in my prayers 🙂 hang in there! Yes! Faith in His plan! Hugs and love xox

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    1. Thank you so much Miguel!! You’re too kind! Thanks for making me smile 🙂 hope you have an awesome weekend! Hugs and love xox

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  48. I really like your three thoughts, Caralyn, especially the one that says ‘I am loved by God). As you point out, that is very powerful, and spills out as love to the people around us. Thank you for this post – it’s very encouraging.
    Love
    Penny xx

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    1. Aw thank you so much Penny! I’m glad this hit home with you. Yes! We are so loved! What a beautiful gift 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  50. God has been telling me that I am right where he wants me to be. Here lately I’ve been worried about my future, and God keeps saying you are right where I need you right now. I just have to trust him.

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    1. Thank you so much Amanda, for sharing that! Yes! You are right where you’re supposed to be — in the palm of His hand! Hugs and love xox

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