Hi friends! I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend!
Despite not being with my family in Ohio, I had an amazing time. I actually celebrated twice! With my boyfriend’s family on Thursday, and then I hosted two other couples for a Friendsgiving on Saturday!
It was such a lovely time.
There was one episode this weekend that was really special. The weather was super beautiful in NYC on Friday, so my special gentleman and I went biking through the city. He led us on a city tour past some of the Christmas staples in New York — including the Rockefeller Christmas Tree. (I know…he’s a smooth operator.) 😉
Now, I don’t know if you’ve heard the controversy over the Rockefeller Christmas Tree…but it’s been nicknamed the “2020 Tree” because….well, it’s a little….underwhelming, shall we say.
It has since “settled” and looks beautiful — (some speculate that it got branch “extensions”). But I got to see it up close and in person!
I think it’s so curious how everything that has gone even the slightest bit array this year has been chalked up to “2020.”
It’s like the universal scapegoat. Which – yeah, for good reason — but everything from the pandemic, to the wildfires, to the tragic passing of Kobe Bryant, to Megxit, to the summer of unrest/looting, to the election results, to cancelled Thanksgiving, to the botched Christmas Tree — all have been blamed on 2020.
And having that psyche — where there’s a scapegoat constantly waiting in the wings, and just this sense that 2020 “doesn’t count” because life is “on pause” — it’s not good. Not good at all.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve definitely found myself falling into that mindset. Almost treating this year like it’s “fake time” – or a trip around the Monopoly Board where you just are practicing for the real thing, and you don’t collect $200 when you pass “Go.”
But there’s a danger in that thinking.
Because here’s the truth of the matter: with God, there is no “fake time.” There are no mistakes or “2020 blunders.” There’s no pause button, no re-do, and most importantly, no accidents.
We are where we are in this moment, because God has allowed it.
And that is a really puzzling thing to wrap your mind around. You mean, God is letting me suffer through 2020 and the pandemic, and the health crisis, and job loss, and anxiety, [insert 2020 “thing” here]…and He’s OKAY with it?!
It’s the classic, why does God let bad things happen to good people, conundrum. Which is a very very difficult reality to deal with as a Christian, especially when you’re in a season of suffering, yourself.
I have certainly wrestled with this numerous times during my life – starting with my anorexia, then ulcerative colitis, and finally, my mom’s stroke. Every time, lamenting with God over why He’s allowing these terrible things to happen to someone he supposedly loves?
And every time, I am shown the truth of the matter, which I was reminded of, this very weekend, at the Thanksgiving table.
I was sitting next to my special gentleman and surrounded by his wonderful family, and there was so much joy in my heart. And I realized in that moment that 2020 isn’t the ruthless bully that we’ve all made it out to be. But that, rather, 2020 has been the gentle course correction given to us by a loving Father, who wants only what is right and good for His children.
Sitting at that table, next to a gentleman I have grown very fond of, has been the direct response of the pandemic. That relationship blossomed into what it has become, because of a number of reasons, one of which being that we survived the pandemic together.
I can only speak for myself, but this forced season of self-reflection really illuminated what is important in life, and I was able to see that love is definitely one of the things that top the list. And I don’t think that was on accident. God has been using this time to form and shape my heart. It hasn’t been “wasted” time or a re-do/pretend season of life. Quite the contrary. This is perhaps just the focus session I needed to really bring my life into focus, and direct it on the path God has intended for me.
The truth of the matter is that, time is real. No matter how we may feel about it, no matter how funny the memes are, or how loud the protest is to the next latest grievance we want to blame on the “illustrious” 2020, this is where we are.
We are where we are because God has allowed it.
And so, perhaps, instead of allowing ourselves to be victims of this 2020 bully, we should ask ourselves the question: Why?
Why has God allowed me to go though this? What am I supposed to learn from the hardships brought about from 2020? What is God trying to teach me? Where is God trying to redirect me?
Looking back over my life, I know that I went through my anorexia because God needed to break my pride. I needed to rid myself of the disgusting pride and vanity that were decaying my heart and eroding my soul.
And believe me, being so stubborn that I literally had to lose all of my hair AND do a three month stint at rehab across the country, it took some painful, painful teachers, but God ultimately got the point across. And it set my life on the course He wanted it to go: to help others suffering similarly.
There are no accidents with God. He doesn’t make them, nor does he allow them to happen.
2020 was in your life for a reason. And it was in mine for a reason.
And sometimes, all it takes is to look up and look around, to be able to see just what that reason was.
Like the Rockefeller Tree, we too, will ultimately settle into place. But it won’t be by chance or happenstance. It will be the meticulous result of an extremely loving and checked out Father.
So let’s not try to fast forward 2020 any more. We are here, and that’s exactly where we’re supposed to be.
“This is what the Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life.” Ez 37:5
A big thank you to my foundational sponsor, BetterHelp Online Therapy. I cannot begin to express how beneficial therapy was for my recovery from anorexia. Speak with an online therapist. Or check out content about eating disorders from BetterHelp.
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