7 Birthday Resolutions

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Proposal:

If it’s culturally acceptable to have Christmas in July, then how about we do New Year’s in August??

hah

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Ok, maybe a bit of a stretch.

Basically, as you know, it was my birthday last weekend. And thank you all again for the wonderful birthday love!

But it got me thinking. If I want to make this next year the best yet, what are some things I’m going to definitely do, or definitely not do to facilitate that?

So. I made a list.

Because lists are fun.

And I’m a Type A personality, trapped in a Type B existence.

So. Here are my TOP 7 THINGS TO MAKE THIS YEAR THE BEST YET

1. WHEN IN DOUBT, SAY YES

Ok, so I’ve mentioned this a lot on here, but there really is something incredibly freeing about saying yes to opportunities that come your way. Whether that’s going out to dinner with friends or taking on a new assignment for work or school – life is to be lived. To the full. And spending it in isolation or routine is no way to do that.



2. LEARN THE POWER OF NO

As a “people pleaser” in recovery, I constantly have to fight the urge to try to be everything for everybody. It’s just part of my makeup – I want people to like me. I don’t want to make anyone go out of their way for me. But if I’m not careful…this can lead to people taking advantage of me and my willingness to please. Especially in the acting world where people will absolutely 100% take advantage of you if you let them. Saying “no” does not make you a “bee-eye-tee-see-ayche.” It makes you a person with self respect.

3. DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK FOR HELP

I will be the first to admit that I struggle with pride. It was my downfall. It lead to my anorexia. It is still a despicable habit that I have to keep in check. So, obviously, asking for help is not something that I necessarily enjoy doing. Especially in NYC where everyone seems to be achieving astronomically impressive feats. Sometimes, you need help with something – whether that’s needing a friend to talk to, advice on _____, asking for a person’s time, or seeking help for an addiction or fear. There is no shame in recognizing and asking for help. In fact, it shows strength.

4. LET PEOPLE IN

This is another biggie for me. And now, you may be scratching your head, seeing how recklessly open and transparent I’ve been on this blog with the things I’ve shared, but in my “offline life,” I don’t really talk about these things. I’m not super vulnerable. I don’t bring up my past. Because, truthfully, I still carry around a lot of shame about it. But this year, I want to cautiously let more people in. Because not only will it make these friendships more authentic and closer, I think it will also bring freedom and healing to me, as well.


5. LISTEN MORE. TALK LESS

No shocker here, buuuut….I’m a talker. Especially when I’m nervous or around a cute boy, I tend to *ahem* not shut up. lol

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I mean, in truth, I am a very good listener. Probably actually more so than I give myself credit – I think it’s key to a healthy relationship or friendship, so I am already mindful of that, but I want to just – be more of a listener. Because people need to feel heard. Not everyone has a blog to process daily crap…

6. DO ONE THING EVERY DAY THAT STRETCHES YOUR COMFORT ZONE

And I know, I am positively cringing typing this one out because it is just so cliche…

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But I can definitely get cozy. You know what I mean? Like … not take any risks for fear or failure or rejection or …looking stupid…

But it’s true. This year, I just want to have a “screw it” attitude and go for everything. Because you know what? Nothing awesome ever happened without a little fear of stupidity.

7. SPEND MORE INTENTIONAL TIME IN PRAYER

Last, and most importantly, I want to spend more time with God. I don’t want my prayer time to only be when I’m falling asleep or listening to worship music or a sermon podcast. I want to actually carve out some time in my schedule to hang out with God. It’s a relationship just like all the others in my life, and I need to put time into it. After all, He did bring me into existence. And die for me…So yeah, there’s that.

Okey Dokey! There you have it folks. My 7 birthday resolutions, if you will.

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Just a little housekeeping: First, speaking of being recklessly open…I’ve got a YouTube video that I’m working up the nerve to push publish on…eek! So look for that…possssssibly on Thursday. Feel free to subscribe if you want to be notified when it’s up.

Secondly, just wanted to say a big big thank you to my Patreon supporters. Seriously, I am so grateful to each one of you.

Have a great week y’all! See ya Thursday!

xox

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

180 thoughts on “7 Birthday Resolutions”

  2. Great post! I think I could do with making some sort of list like that myself 😉
    I can’t wait to see your new video! 😀

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  3. This is really good. I loved every single one of them. 😊
    I hope you had a wonderful birthday.
    Oh I have one more resolution (if you’re interested): have a little fun doing it all!
    Many blessings and much love,
    Debbie

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  5. I like the part about saying NO, because NO can can be freeing too! One doesn’t have to be everything to everyone. Pleasing others yes! If it’good and praiseworthy and pleasing to God. Our affirmations have to come from God not necessarily other people. God bless ❤

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  6. Love your list! I’m a talker too. The way to turn that into listening is to use your talking by asking others about them and be curious about them.

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  8. I just love this post! I agree with them all 🙂 but some of them are sooooo hard, lol. Like the whole, letting people in thing, and stretching your comfort zone. I feel like it’s been the “staying away from” those things that has helped me keep my composure as well as my sanity these past couple of years. But, I admit, being a writer keeps me very inclusive to myself, so perhaps…just perhaps, I might try a few of these as well 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Great resolutions, btw. I like em all. I’ m still trying to figure out this photo of you. Do you have the whole thing? I’m puzzled. ​

    In Jesus’ precious name Steven Sawyer stevesaw@gmail.com http://stevensawyer.wordpress.com/

    On Mon, Aug 15, 2016 at 7:00 PM, BeautyBeyondBones wrote:

    > beautybeyondbones posted: “Proposal: If it’s culturally acceptable to have > Christmas in July, then how about we do New Year’s in August?? hah Ok, > maybe a bit of a stretch. Basically, as you know, it was my birthday last > weekend. And thank you all again for the wonderful birth” >

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      1. Nope, still couldn’t see the rest of that picture of you with the hat. I watched both your videos. I’m just curious about the rest of you in that photo of you and the hat.

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      3. Okay. At least I know that’s all there is to the picture. I meant to tell you, I went back to your post about your virginity and why it is important to you. I am so thankful to find a young lady for which that is important. God will bless you and honor you with a respectful man who will be God’s perfect choice for you. I will pray for you.

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      4. Haha, yeah, that’s the whole shebang! And thank you so much for going back and reading it and for this beautiful encouragement. I really appreciate the prayers. God is good and I totally trust His timing. Hugs to you friend xox

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  12. Happy New Year 😉 hehe x. It’s like you have gone in side my head and pick things thats in my life the ‘let people in’ part, I am totally different online than I am offline x. the comfort zone is my friend i cant leave him haha x. your words are like music a soft tone to hear with such power
    Love you lot sister x

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    1. haha thanks Benjamin! 🙂 So glad you could relate 🙂 I know there;s something so …comfortable…about the comfort zone – go figure 🙂 haha thanks for your kind words! big hugs to you friend xox

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      1. I have been letting more people in more but only within my church family, opening up is still hard for me but having people in my life like you is making it easier for me to open up, I have recently open my self up to someone only to have it thrown back in my face and it has been making it difficult to open up again and get help as for the prayer time i know i do it enough but it doesnt seem enough if you get what I mean x

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  13. Loved how your list is universal, like the church.. Belated happy birthday to you! Btw, have you heard Just Be Held by Casting Crowns? I wish that of you. ☺️

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  15. I absolutely loved loved loved this!!! All of these are goals I need to make for myself as well. I will continue to refer back to it when I am struggling or have eating disorder thoughts because like you said life is meant to be lived, every single minute of it ❤

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  17. Great post, and solid resolutions. I would say with any resolution don’t lose heart if any fall short of perfect, another type A snare😃. Being genuine seems to sum all these up well. The world needs more genuine people, who put forth their best effort to make a lasting impact. Be genuine and may God bless you with grace and courage to see every resolution come to fruition. Oh and Thank you for the support of Transformed to His Way😉

    Chad

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    1. Thank you so much Chad! haha…so true – yeah, maybe add another one about embracing failure 🙂 hah And i like that – being genuine definitely encompasses all of these. thanks for stopping by! big hugs xox

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  18. Great list! I especially like the listen more. No, that’s not a critique of your blog. I just know that people who talk little and listen lots gain a reputation as “A Great Conversationalist!”

    As a shy teenager, I worked on questioning people to get them talking so I wouldn’t have to. I learned a lot!

    About the video, doesn’t that fall under #1?!? So get on it, kiddo!!! Press the ever-lovin’ button!

    (Hint – the correct response would be…wait for it…”yes”) 🙂 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. hahaha oh thanks Jeffrey! 🙂 YES! woo!! 😉 That’s definitely one of my secrets for small talk — ask A LOT of questions about the other person — people typically love to talk about themselves 🙂 hehe hope your week is off to a great start! hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  19. I really enjoyed reading your birthday resolutions….my family actually did have a “Christmas in July” when I was a kid…it was absolutely awesome! We lived in another country for a number of years where things were not available, and we didn’t get to see my Grandparents and my Aunt because they were still in the States….so when they heard we were coming home they decided to plan a “Christmas in July” for us so that we could all celebrate the holidays that we had missed. My Grandmother had this “snowy” Christmas tree, and they got it out and set it up and put lights on the house and everything…if it weren’t for the fact that the entire neighborhood knew all about what they were doing I am sure people would have thought they were nuts! It was probably one of the best Christmas experiences that I have ever had. It was so completely in character for them, that was how they demonstrated their love for us on a regular basis…always going out of their way!

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  23. This is a great list of resolutions!

    And, yes, that clip of Jimmy Fallon dancing cracks me up. 😆 Especially the little hand wave.

    On a completely random subject jump: I was shopping downtown with my mom on Saturday and I ran across a sign for sale. It said, “A bird does not sing because he has all of the answers. A bird sings because he has a song inside of him.” I almost bought it, but I got sidetracked by something else.
    😦 There were a couple of other signs that I really liked, but that one in particular stuck in my head.

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    1. Thank you so much! Haha yeah I love me some Jimmy Fallon! I absolutely love that quote. I did a quote art picture of it a while back. It really resonated with me too. Something about singing really hit home with me:) hope you have An awesome night! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  24. What a great post! Young intelligent and certainly beautiful. I wish I had done some of those things you mentioned… Peace

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  25. I love this post and the idea of a birthday resolution! I’ll have to try that this year.

    I know your schedule is probably crazy busy, but I was wondering if you could give me a bit of advice or encouragement? I’m a college cheerleader (a flyer), and the pressure to be thin is oh-so-present. I’m feeling myself begin to relapse in my anorexia. What do you do when you feel like you’re slipping? I know acting is also big on pressure to be thin, so how do you deal with that?

    Thank you SO much for your time! Looking forward to the video!!

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    1. Thank you so much Kenny! Hmm…yeah I definitely feel you. First of all, the fact that you can recognize yourself beginning to slip is huge. That is something to be encouraged by. Because that shows that you’re aware and are able to see the red flags. Honestly, I just think about the literal hell that was my anorexia. How it robbed me of life. Relationships. Health. Time. Happiness. My HAIR! ED is literally a ROBBER and thinking about everything it stole from me makes me fired up. Makes me angry. So from a practical sense, I use that anger as motivation to stay on course. I let every meal, every time I resist any urge, whatever – I view those things as ways to actively reclaim what ED stole. But also, I try to remember that my worth is not defined by my weight or how I look or even by the fact that I’m an actor, or any other thing I may do. And I know how terribly cheesy that is, but it really helps me. I try to see myself through the eyes of the Father. Or I look at a picture of my darling 3-yr-old niece and think about, I would never subject her to the way I treated myself during my disease. I should treat myself with the same love and compassion and tenderness I would want for my niece. It’s hard. Especially when the pressures are there, and boy do I know how that pressure feels. Seriously I walk into castings are there are 6′ blond models all around. I have to literally at that point take a breath and say, “I am loved. I am beautiful because I am His. Just do the next right thing.” And then I do just that:the next right thing. Even if you have to go moment by moment. Second by second. Just do the next right thing. Sorry this was lengthy but I just so feel you. For as wonderful as cheerleading is, it can also be quite the trigger. Much like a sorority. For Greek week, I was the designated flier as well, and I definitely felt the pressure. Maybe find a teammate you can confide in as well. Be your confidant. Support system. You can do it. I 100%believe in you and am cheering for you! 😍❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. This was so beyond helpful! Thank you for taking the time to write so much! I really love the “do the next right thing.” That was one of my favorite posts from you I must have forgotten about. Thank you for speaking truth into my life! ❤

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  32. What a fantastic idea! You’ve picked some great stuff to add to your list. My birthday is in October and I may have to borrow this idea.

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  37. I absolutely love this!! I am also a people pleaser, and basically all of these things I feel I need to work on this year as well! Thank you for making this! Ilysm! And yes be rad! 🙂

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  38. I absolutely love this and need to work on all of these things myself, and I am also a people pleaser! Thanks for making this! Ilysm and stay rad! 🙂

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  39. Caroline (do you spell like this or Carolyn?) , I enjoyed your vidoes and this is a great birthday idea. I could have written most of the same goals. I will be interested to know if you can do #6 daily. I have been trying to step outside the usual, but do to it daily would be tough. Another idea is to review how you have accomplished your goals 6 months out. Really enjoy your blog.

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  40. Did I tell you happy birthday? If not….Happy Birthday!
    I like that shot of you and the Freedom Tower behind you 🙂

    I disagree with #6 on stretching every day. As a sports analogy, remember that there are rest periods, recovery that leads to strength. And you don’t do the same exercise each day, because that leads to limited muscles. Finally….it’s such a stretch that failing it is bound to happen and then it stops being meaningful. Maybe change it to do something stretchworthy each month to start?

    And my problem when I do #1….I want to regret whenever it fails to meet my unrealistic expectation. Make sure you give yourself the grace to accept that some of the things you say yes to aren’t going to turn out like you planned,but don’t sweat it. It’s still an experience (I learned that lesson last summer on a bumpy vacation….but it was the first vacation I planned all on my own and that made it a good experience!)

    Don’t melt this week 😀

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    1. Haha thank you so much Jeff! Yeah NYC really photographs well. Those are some really great insights-thanks for that perspective. You’re right-giving yourself grace to mess up is good too. Thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  41. Great post 🙂 Even If you do not achieve every single resolution, what matters in the end are the ones that you did achieve. Even when I make a list of resolutions I want to achieve, I only end up achieving some, but in the end, it is no big deal, but it is great to see determination 🙂 Anyway, keep up the great work as always 🙂 And once again, Happy Birthday 🙂

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  46. ❤ I need to be a better listener too sister. Thank you for reminding me of that. Slow to speak. Quick to listen.

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  49. I sincerely apologize for having to use your comment section like this (I’m sorry) but I recently made Valentine’s Fall official like BBB; It has it’s own domain now. Do you have any advice on how to grow my audience? You’re like the queen of WP.

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      1. That’s it? That’s kind of a bummer. I thought it’d be more intricate than that. Lol

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