Like a Woman Scorned…

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

This post tonight, is being served with a side of indignation.

Because I am angry.

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I hesitate to post this, because, well…you’ll see. But I need to vent.

You see, I’ve recently started reaching out to various potential sponsors for my blog. Exciting times, I know.

So I contacted an eating disorder treatment center this afternoon. Wrote them a beautiful letter, inviting them to check out my blog.

And this woman sends me back a one-liner: “Certainly promotes being skinny!”

Exclamation point.

Certainly promotes being skinny…exclamation point.

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of the are-you-freaking-kidding-me explosion of outrage detonating inside my soul.

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But more than outraged, I was just hurt.

First of all…the fact that a mental health professional wrote such a derogatory word to a former anorexic is just the epitome of insensitive.

But this blog is an extension of my soul. Literally. I have poured out everything I have – my spirit, my weaknesses, failings, struggles, triumphs, fears — everything — in the hopes that even one person would read my words and feel comforted that they’re not alone. Find hope. Encouragement. And for someone to merely reduce it to something as superficial as being about promoting “being skinny” — it was just an ice cold slap in the face.

During my anorexia, I nearly died in the quest for “skinniness.” I starved myself down to 78 pounds, and even then, I didn’t believe that I was “skinny” enough. The scale and my reflection tormented my spirit and led me to destroy relationships, miss my high school graduation, delay college, become infertile, plague my self-worth and seriously damage my relationship with God. Not to mention becoming osteopenic as an 18-year-old girl, flirting with death.

Skinny almost killed me. And I’ll be damned if I ever do anything remotely close to promoting it.

Lastly, I don’t mean to be all “over-sensitive.” I mean, I can hear my father reading this right now, going, “Just let it go…” (In the most loving way possible, of course.)

But I took this very personally. I mean, it goes without saying that my image is all over this blog. And, okay…maybe too much, I’ll admit.

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But, I have been very open with the fact that I have Ulcerative Colitis. And the way I have stayed in remission for the last six years is through a radical, therapeutic diet, called the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. (SCD) The Seattle Children’s Hospital actually just published a study a few weeks ago, proving that it cured 80% of the participants with Crohn’s/Colitis.

But it’s how I have to eat, and I have done a damn good job, if I do say so myself, because it is hard. But it is what I have to do to stay in remission. I was on bed rest for eleven months with an Ulcerative Colitis flare in 2011 that nearly took my life, and the SCD saved me – (and my intestines from being removed). In fact, I even published a cookbook with my SCD recipes.

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UC Flare ’11

BUT – all that being said, I am very well aware that this therapeutic way of eating keeps me slim. But I work hard to maintain a healthy weight, and I do. And I do not appreciate getting slapped with the term “skinny” from this mental health professional who apparently only qualifies women as “recovered” if they are on the high end of normal.

I’m sorry, would you like me to send you my vitals and recent blood work?

I just. I have no words.

And I’m sorry if this sounds like an eye-roll-worthy rant fest from a thin girl complaining for getting called “skinny.” Believe me, I know that there are far more pressing issues in the world.

So. To placate this insular inferno…here are six things this blog does promote.

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1) Loving God, because without Him, we can do nothing.

2) Loving other people, because everyone is on a journey, and could use a friend along the way.

3) Claiming the truth that you are loved by the Creator, and deserve to live in that abundant joy each and every day.

4) Accept and embrace our short comings and weaknesses, because they do not define us, and have been forgiven and redeemed through Christ.

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5) Recognizing that I have worth and value because Christ died for me, and nothing in my past – even an eating disorder – can negate that fact.

6) Loving Christ in you…therefore, loving yourself.


So there you go. If you’ll notice, “being skinny” is not on the list of things I promote.

Never has been. Never will be.

Hope that clears things up…

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**** On that note…If you or your business would like to sponsor/advertise on BBB, let’s talk! —> beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com 😉

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

546 thoughts on “Like a Woman Scorned…”

  2. Wow, I can’t believe that woman. Someone needs to work in a different sector of this the kind of stuff coming out of her mouth. Super disappointing, but I love that you mentioned all the things your blog DOES promote. You know who you are and what your blog is about. You know your values and what you want to share with the world, so try not to be discouraged by this one person. You will find sponsors and they will align with your blog and what it DOES promote. ❤️😁

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Dear Beauty,

    Welcome to the reality of those that treat others in the mental health system. this is what we and many others like have to deal with daily. Sadly, we have all been programmed to believe that mental health professionals are somehow, in some regards, smarter and better people. Nope. The public mental health system – Welcome to it, my friend. It only gets worse – You would be surprised some of the s**t those stuck in the mental system have to deal with.

    Including people like that.

    Keep rockin it.
    M
    EK
    M

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Oh, no need to apologize for other people’s mistakes. You didn’t do anything wrong.

        Yep, the system. Stay lovely!

        M and the gang

        Like

  4. Your story is truely an inspirational one and I thank you so much for sharing. My oldest daughter works as a missionary and works with a group called Beauty Arise that promotes the idea for girls to find their worth and beauty in the eyes of Christ. My daughter works with models and other young girls and promotes that they are important and that God loves them. Keep sharing as I know your words reach so many who if not dealing with this issue has a loved one or a friend that does.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Their response was a reflection of them. In no way of you… period. No, actually, exclamation! Keep doing what you do. ❤️

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  6. Never once have I thought that reading your posts dear one! I’m so sorry she wrote that. It is unbelievable, and I hope she apologizes. Our crosses are not for the purpose of self-promotion. If we had it to do Over we would not want our illnesses! God is our judge and comforter!

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  7. I’m sorry I can’t sponsor you. No money. 🙂

    It’s tough in the world right now because there’s thing called fat acceptance. We need to knock all this stuff off. Everyone should just know they are a precious child of God, thick or thin. Just know it, deep in your spirit. The problem with these cultural narratives is that they try to apply a one size fits all solution to diverse people. So absolutely, fat acceptance is wonderful, until you have type two diabetes and trouble getting up the stairs. Being thin is awesome too, unless you’re recovering from pneumonia or walking through chemo or something. It’s the health beneath the surface that we need to think about,the well being of the one involved. Fat acceptance is much like the flip side of mandatory thinness that we’ve seen the media. They’re all designed to make us place our own worth and value in something external and flimsy. We need to start believing what God says about us,and He says we are to die for.

    I always find it kind of interesting that Jesus Himself is an ordinary man, not particularly handsome, having no real charisma. Now of course He’s not ordinary at all, He’s extraordinary, but physically the bible makes a point of letting us know His specialness had nothing to do with his outward appearance.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. haha thanks friend. But seriously, thank you for your encouragement. You’re right – we need to grasp onto what He says about us, because it is the truth, and it was enough to die for. thanks for your support! big hugs xox

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  8. As a “non-skinny” person who reads your blog, I have never felt that this is what this blog promotes! Your love of God and people radiate through this blog!

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  9. Uhh…..What?

    Seriously. Just what? Did she even take the time to read your blog? Or did she just scroll through the text and look at your pictures? Because…What???

    I don’t get it. 😦

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  10. I sometimes why certain people are in the jobs they are. It’s pretty clear this person has no business working in any type of mental health healing position. You have a wonderful blog, and I know all your readers agree. Keep writing and inspiring. xo

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  11. Psst… don’t tell anyone but along with giving a courageous witness, you’re teaching me to write as well! God bless!

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  12. Oh goodness… One comment that rattles me is ‘I wish I had that problem!’ As in, I explain I have a hormone disorder and it keeps me thin and they literally say they wish they had that problem… I never really know what to say to that.

    I don’t promote thinness, either. Health is what we’re after. Physical, emotional, spiritual… And for what it’s worth, I’ve never gotten a message of ‘think thin’ on your blog.

    It’s sort of scary to think how that professional might be damaging those in recovery…

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    1. Thanks for this, Britt. Oh gosh, that is definitely a hurtful remark to receive. I’m so sorry to hear that!! You’re right – health is multifaceted and thank you for being you and sharing your story to help others! big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  13. How insensitive for that comment to be made!!!!. Just for the record, you are a survivor, and person of exceptional talent and a knockout in looks. So give a thumbs down to that foolish person and move on in the knowledge you have more too you than that person does. 🙂

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  14. Wow, what kind of reply is that?! Totally unprofessional for that to come from a business! Kudos to you for reaching out to sponsors though, that is something I really want to get into but just haven’t had the time to get started. Hopefully you find other people to be more kind as you continue your search.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. It would make sense. Why so dismissive. They might just not expect a blog that speaks of God so openly and that would cloud their judgement on the rest of their response.
        Some people are very far from God.

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  16. I think that in order to divulge, it is necessary to speak with the greatest number of people, and be prepared for refusals. Negative contacts are part of the plan and positives as well. Mood and good luck!

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  17. Ugh, how sucky… But that one liner response tells you all the unfortunate truth you need to know about that particular person. They don’t get it. They don’t GET IT. They don’t understand the disease, the recovery efforts, the depth, not even the vocabulary. My mom used to tell me, “Consider the source.” Try not to let someone so obviously misinformed and uncouth impact your feelings so strongly. Your path is well beyond her current understanding. You are impacting lives in a positive, Christ-filled way every day, just on your blog! It most certainly is hard to let these things go, but you’re amazing and deserve to allow yourself to dismiss that pain. Hugs your way!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks friend. I really appreciate the support and hugs 🙂 I love your mom’s advice – she sounds like a smart woman. Definitely taking that to heart. Thanks again for your wonderfully kind words. means the world. big hugs xox

      Like

  20. This definitely resonates with me! I was born 3 months early and have always been petite. I hate when people say things like ‘you should really eat more/eat a burger,’ or think I’m unhealthy (even anorexic once!) because I also work hard to maintain a healthy weight. Yes, I’m smaller than many other people, but that doesn’t mean I’m unhealthy. I’m healthy in my own standards. It’s bums me out and is really unfair when people assume things about our weight/size, especially when they don’t know our story. As cliche as ‘don’t judge a book by its cover’ is, it’s always true.

    As always, I love reading your blogs! I hope you’re having a relaxing evening.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi friend, thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m sorry you can relate. Yeah – health comes in all shapes and sizes, and at the end of the day, it’s what’s on the inside that counts! Thanks for stopping by and for your encouragement! hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

    2. I can totally relate to this! I’ve been called skinny all my life and people will never understand how insulting that can be. I don’t think it’s fair that it’s totally wrong to call someone “fat” or “overweight” but it’s okay to tell someone they need to go eat something. After having a baby back in February I was able to keep some of the weight that I had gained during my pregnancy and I finally started becoming comfortable in my skin but now as that weight slowly falls off, so is my confidence. I guess at some point we just have to move and embrace the way that God made us!

      Liked by 1 person

  21. I’ll be honest here – reading this made me tear up a bit. It’s unfathomable to me that any health care practitioner in any discipline could speak to you in that manner. So far beyond rude. I see you and your website as a very positive inspiration for others affected with what you’ve been through. I believe you are a woman of great strength and courage – people such as you spoke to and was so rude to you, will never get in your way. Keep up your good works my friend, and by the way, you look fabulously healthy to me. Be well!! ❤️

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    1. Thanks so much Wayne, I appreciate it so much. You’re right — Gotta pray for her. Just gotta say, you were one of the first to believe in me — way back when I did your podcast, and you gave me so much encouragement and confidence to really get out there and tell my story, so thank you with all my heart 🙂 big hugs xo

      Liked by 1 person

  23. Oh my goodness, I don’t even know where to begin. Exactly where on your blog does it “Certainly promotes being skinny!”? I mean, I’ve only been reading your blog since January this year but I am confused as to where I find the “promoting skinny” section. I’d be a little more than offended and really want an expansion of “Certainly promotes being skinny!” and where exactly that message is being conveyed. *deep breath* ok, thoughts a little calmer, there’s your sign that this “organization” is not a sponsor you want to have. If that is the sensitivity, compassion, and attention they possess then I feel for the people they are suppose to be helping.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You’re welcome, and I sorry if I came off as judgmental of that “professionals” comment but things that make utterly no sense to me, like their comment rubs me entirely the wrong way. I’ll pray that that God reveals to them the magnitude of a comment like that, for you to have a sponsor He wants you to have, and for me to not let things like that rub me the wrong way. Pray your night is good as well xoxo

        Like

  24. Hey Caralyn. I would say it is obvious that person does not read your blog. If she did, she would see God’s Love, love God, Christ, Christ’s love, love Christ, love others, Christ, love yourself because Christ loved each of us enough to die for us, written all through each blog.
    One other thing, perhaps two, I would pick out from her hastily sent, thoughtless note, she is certainly not a professional, and not a lady, responding that way.

    To quote you, (using a word that my Dad also used many years):
    Anywho, don’t pay attention to her, keep on your with your tremendous ministry, blog, teaching sessions, encouragements, because you are a blessing, and you are blessing many.

    God Bless you, Caralyn,
    💐 Luv and Hugs,

    George

    Like

  25. So sad. Like one of the commenters above, I wonder if your open embrace of not just “faith” but Jesus himself is the actual problem here. He gets less socially acceptable every year, it seems. Bless you for your good work.

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  26. Wow. Disturbing and sad on a number of levels. Hope you’re okay? You know we don’t think that of you! That person needs our prayers.
    And I did not know that about your diet. Thank you for sharing. All of it. ❤
    God bless.

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      1. Exactly. That person may be going through things we can’t imagine, hopefully they’re not hurting too many others in the process, though!
        And you are most welcome! 💐

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  27. Great post! You share so many honest, encouraging, beautiful things on your blog. As someone who has suffered from ulcerative colitis, I have been accused of being too skinny. People definitely do not think before they speak sometimes. Please keep sharing your story!! You are a blessing!

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  28. I have to say that I am completely embarrassed for that individual. All I can say is that I HOPE and pray that it was an office assistant and not an actual “professional”. It would help me sleep better knowing that anyway. I cant stand for people to take jabs at someone in such a way when they dont think about what their words could mean in the other person’s mind. I just want to let you know that I absolutely love what you have done with your blog. I aspire to have the nerve to share my demons as you do. I recently found you when you liked one of my posts and I am so happy that you did! I myself have recently come to light on my eating disorder which is on the other side of the spectrum from yours but regardless of that you give me strength to tell my story!

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    1. Thank you so much. Yeah it was a pretty bone head remark. Thank you from the. Bottom of my heart for your kind words about my blog. That seriously means so much. I’m really glad our paths crossed!! Rock on warrior!!! Know I am cheering you on 🙂 Big hugs xox

      Liked by 2 people

  30. I am truly sorry that you had to go through that. But you are a daughter of the King. You are beautiful, strong, courageous, and an inspiration to many. I understand the hurt. I too have poured out my vulnerable heart sharing the hard times and victories in my tiny little blog about overcoming depression and alcohol abuse. I was searching Scripture and this came to me for you, I hope it will encourage your heart like it did mine. 1 Peter 3:13-22 (ESV) “Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame…” and this came to me as well…Ephesians 4:26 (NIV) “In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry…” The joy of the Lord is your strength, amen? God bless you. I am cheering you on and standing in the gap. The Lord is going to bring the right sponsors to you. I just know it. ♥

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Debbie. Wow this is. Beautiful. Thank you so much. And my goodness what a powerful verse. Thanks for sharing that. And thank you for sharing your story too. You let strength is inspiring and I know God is smiling on you:) Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  33. Wow. Of all the things I think when I read your blog, it being about promoting being “skinny” is not one of them. I can understand how you feel, and I think: consider the source. In today’s world a lot of people who are “helping”? really are not. They are promoting their own agenda about whatever the issue is. You present this particular material in a different way and that always raises at least some fur. While I am not “Christian” I appreciate the basic tenet of LOVE and walking in faith. You put this forth understandably, consistently, and well, and also create in the process a really good description of what happens when you MUST go deep enough to discover those things. Deep breath. It’s just one more experience, more information. Peace out!

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      1. I can’t even fathom what would have possessed someone to say such a horrible thing. ☹️

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  36. Sounds like a clueless impersonal “professional” who doesn’t care a lick about who you are or who you are reaching. Caralyn (did I spell that right?), you are a beautiful writer! You write of God’s grace in your life and I consistently see more of HIM than you. Keep writing. I know you won’t stop, but I just had to say it. 🙂

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  37. I know it’s not quite on the same level, but as someone who is desperate enough for a job to work retail, who literally just applied to Kohl’s not even an hour ago, and got a rejection letter not even 10 minutes after applying… Ugh… It’s so frustrating.

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      1. Thank you! That’s what people keep telling me. The waiting is hard though, y’know? Anyway, I love your blog! I’m always excited when I see you have a new post! 😊

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  38. I can’t believe someone would say that! I’m outraged for you. I am so inspired through your blog and the thought that you promoted skinny has never ever crossed my mind.

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  39. Best friend’s grandson has had colitis all through his teens and early 20s and I know how the diet can keep one on the thin side. Recently the doctors here in Kitchener performed a new experimental treatment which seems to have worked. He has gained about 20 pounds in the last two months and feels healthy. (he may be cured);
    People often comment without knowing all the background facts. Shame on that “professional”. Don’t let her/him bother you. You have, as my wife says in one of her poems, “the eyes to see and the words to tell the truths that are most true.” Keep up the good work.

    Like

    1. Oh gosh I’m so sorry to hear that he also knows the struggle, but I’m so glad that his treatment is working! That’s terrific! And what true words – sounds like an awesome poem. Thanks for sharing. Hugs and love xox

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  43. That woman obviously has some serious issues that she needs to have addressed!!! Your blog has never been anything about being skinny. Don’t let her get to you, and I know that’s easier said than done. You just keep being your beautiful you and you keep looking to Christ. He said that He gives believers everything we need that pertains to life and godliness, so you just keep your eyes on Him! I love your blog and I love what you stand for!!

    Like

  44. Yeah I will be very angry to if I was in your shoes from what you say you been through. I had few things I been through some dark, cruel, and hurt feelings of my speech impediment that I gotten a lot better with from being a kid and haven’t had any problems with people, also with “MOCKING” that I hated the most of, of being in school, since I was in school.
    So I can understand your anger from those words.

    Like

      1. I’m over my stuff now, but if I ever get mock by someone plushly by a man, they going to get one hell of punch from mocking me, but I will never hit a woman but I might but my hand into a fist and slam it down or hit something with the button my fist on something real hard but not the woman.

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  45. Caralyn, Oh the words that are currently trying to escape my lips are NSFW. Not one of them. I want to encourage you to reach out to the management of the company and share this email response with them. This is unprofessional, inappropriate, and dismissive. I would go further and say dangerous. Actually I’m going to say it, it’s dangerous. Gah! This really makes me angry. I would like for this to be a “Let it Go” moment. *cue Idina” but it’s not. Oh bleeeeeeeeeeeeeep.
    And yes I am still a good Catholic girl who’s really pissed.

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    1. Haha oh my gosh this made me laugh. Thank you so much Teri. Yeah it was definitely not a very sensitive remark to say the last. Cue idina…haha you’re funny 🙂 thanks for brightening my spirits! Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  46. You are a beautiful woman inside and out! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s ok to be angry when people are mean and insensitive. Just tell them how it is so they know and move on. People think just because you’re Christian they can walk all over you… I have a lot more to say about that so watch this space. You stay gorgeous! xxx

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  47. You are a beautiful young woman. You are thin, but knowing what you went through explains that. It is outrageous that a professional would slap you verbally across your smiling face. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I hope you feel better for having written it.

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  48. Amen! And praise the Lord for how well you are now. And I don’t think you’re skinny, for whatever that’s worth. Hopefully you get over the other problem, I pray that will be the case. Great to hear of your diet. My wife is into that kind of thing, and I more or less follow. 🙂

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  49. Don’t shut down the light of your greatness because someone is too blinded to see it, doing so will rob this generation of your awesomeness. I believe in your work.

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  50. Hi Carolyn, I just read your latest blog post and am very upset about how some people responded. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. I know it wasn’t easy and I just wish more people could take some times and just try to understand your struggles, your path to recovery, and your unwavering faith in Christ Jesus. You are strong Carolyn; no amount of negativity can bring you down. Love you Sister. I pray that God would continue use you in so many ways to inspire others and to encourage others to hold on even when life gets tough. You are the warrior for Christ. I am so proud of you!! ❤️❤️👍😊

    Like

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