Like a Woman Scorned…

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

This post tonight, is being served with a side of indignation.

Because I am angry.

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I hesitate to post this, because, well…you’ll see. But I need to vent.

You see, I’ve recently started reaching out to various potential sponsors for my blog. Exciting times, I know.

So I contacted an eating disorder treatment center this afternoon. Wrote them a beautiful letter, inviting them to check out my blog.

And this woman sends me back a one-liner: “Certainly promotes being skinny!”

Exclamation point.

Certainly promotes being skinny…exclamation point.

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of the are-you-freaking-kidding-me explosion of outrage detonating inside my soul.

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But more than outraged, I was just hurt.

First of all…the fact that a mental health professional wrote such a derogatory word to a former anorexic is just the epitome of insensitive.

But this blog is an extension of my soul. Literally. I have poured out everything I have – my spirit, my weaknesses, failings, struggles, triumphs, fears — everything — in the hopes that even one person would read my words and feel comforted that they’re not alone. Find hope. Encouragement. And for someone to merely reduce it to something as superficial as being about promoting “being skinny” — it was just an ice cold slap in the face.

During my anorexia, I nearly died in the quest for “skinniness.” I starved myself down to 78 pounds, and even then, I didn’t believe that I was “skinny” enough. The scale and my reflection tormented my spirit and led me to destroy relationships, miss my high school graduation, delay college, become infertile, plague my self-worth and seriously damage my relationship with God. Not to mention becoming osteopenic as an 18-year-old girl, flirting with death.

Skinny almost killed me. And I’ll be damned if I ever do anything remotely close to promoting it.

Lastly, I don’t mean to be all “over-sensitive.” I mean, I can hear my father reading this right now, going, “Just let it go…” (In the most loving way possible, of course.)

But I took this very personally. I mean, it goes without saying that my image is all over this blog. And, okay…maybe too much, I’ll admit.

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But, I have been very open with the fact that I have Ulcerative Colitis. And the way I have stayed in remission for the last six years is through a radical, therapeutic diet, called the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. (SCD) The Seattle Children’s Hospital actually just published a study a few weeks ago, proving that it cured 80% of the participants with Crohn’s/Colitis.

But it’s how I have to eat, and I have done a damn good job, if I do say so myself, because it is hard. But it is what I have to do to stay in remission. I was on bed rest for eleven months with an Ulcerative Colitis flare in 2011 that nearly took my life, and the SCD saved me – (and my intestines from being removed). In fact, I even published a cookbook with my SCD recipes.

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UC Flare ’11

BUT – all that being said, I am very well aware that this therapeutic way of eating keeps me slim. But I work hard to maintain a healthy weight, and I do. And I do not appreciate getting slapped with the term “skinny” from this mental health professional who apparently only qualifies women as “recovered” if they are on the high end of normal.

I’m sorry, would you like me to send you my vitals and recent blood work?

I just. I have no words.

And I’m sorry if this sounds like an eye-roll-worthy rant fest from a thin girl complaining for getting called “skinny.” Believe me, I know that there are far more pressing issues in the world.

So. To placate this insular inferno…here are six things this blog does promote.

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1) Loving God, because without Him, we can do nothing.

2) Loving other people, because everyone is on a journey, and could use a friend along the way.

3) Claiming the truth that you are loved by the Creator, and deserve to live in that abundant joy each and every day.

4) Accept and embrace our short comings and weaknesses, because they do not define us, and have been forgiven and redeemed through Christ.

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5) Recognizing that I have worth and value because Christ died for me, and nothing in my past – even an eating disorder – can negate that fact.

6) Loving Christ in you…therefore, loving yourself.


So there you go. If you’ll notice, “being skinny” is not on the list of things I promote.

Never has been. Never will be.

Hope that clears things up…

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**** On that note…If you or your business would like to sponsor/advertise on BBB, let’s talk! —> beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com 😉

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

546 thoughts on “Like a Woman Scorned…”

  1. I am grateful for the list of things you do promote, all TRUE and all GOOD. I wonder if the professional’s response was more about your faith which perhaps is offensive to their world view.

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Hey BBB, you know what they say. When one door closes, a wave of them open up. I’ve learned that sometimes the circles we feel as though we’ll be useful, is not even the place where God wants us. So many doors are going to open for you, until you won’t even remember the one that closed. Thanks for venting, we all need to do that from time to time and you have so many supporters that don’t mind listening, including me. Keep pushing mama…

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh Caralyn dearest, the disillusioned, tortured souls that work in the system… We pray for them as well, because they themselves are attacked more often than we know and they don’t need any more angry thoughts if they are to help anyone. Let us remember that God uses everyone for good. Thank you so much for venting here, your blog is always perfect as Heaven knows are You at any moment and WILL find your way, and those not fortunate enough to have such supportive family and friends, could use our silent kindness. Your indignation is fully understood and embraced, do listen to this amazing father of yours, and know that many of us shield you against jealousy and envy with our hearts and guardian angels
    (telling mine to tell yours to give you the most replenishing, healing embrace tonight)
    💜🙏 Leon

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Leon, wow thank you for this beautiful encouragement. Yes let’s pray for sure. And you’re right- everything for good. That’s such a healing thought. I feel that kind hug, and I’m so grateful it. And for you:) thank you friend. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I am sending you so much love and Light. ❤ Forgiveness is one of the greatest things that helped me heal an eating disorder, and to realize – without a shadow of a doubt – that God loves me as God's child. Just was called to share that with you. Happy to chat further if you ever want to do that. My email is weloveyou@forgivingconnects.com.

    Thank you for the service and courage you bring with this blog to your readers, and many blessings,
    Debbie

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Because some one is being paid for their work does not make them a professional. For many and certainly for the one who gave that reply being paid only is an indication that they are for sale…. cheap. They are a professional health services prostitutes who do not have professional knowledge attitude or ethics. This person only insulted you. Big deal. Imagine the destruction they are bringing into the lives of their fragile wounded clients. That is something truly serious and a word to the society or organization that they are accountable to is definately in order. You go girl.

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    1. Thank you so much for your support, Jack. You’re right – we all need to be mindful of the words that come out of our mouths because they really do have power. Thanks so much for this powerful food for thought. Hugs and love xox

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  7. Don’t let the idiotas and jerks and small minded subhumans and a-holes get to you. You know who you are and that is the most important fact. That woman is a horror reflected showing you how broken medicine has become because it and those in it have lost heart. Not all medical professionals granted but a hell of a lot. When the time is right the perfect opportunities will present themselves. Worry not. Rage not. God’s got this!! 💕🌸💕

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  8. I’ll never understand why some people feel like it would just kill them to be nice, or at the very least, show the same respect to others that they show them. That woman doesn’t sound like she’s very good at her job. I haven’t been following you for very long but I never once got the impression that you were promoting being skinny. I picked up that you were a woman that loves God and is just trying to find her way and that’s what drew me to your blog. Keep on keeping on because I certainly enjoy reading what you have to say. God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi again friend!! 🙂 Thank you for this beautiful encouragement. I am seriously so touched. Yes! God is good, and life is weird, and we’re all in this together 🙂 hahaha thanks for being such a beautiful light! hugs xo

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Obviously, this person didn’t even look at your blog or take the time to see past the photos, which, by the way look “normal” to me. You don’t want to be part of that company if that’s the sort of snap judgments they make, though I feel sorry for their patients. Hopefully their patients are getting better treatment than a single sentence and a kick out the door. People will ALWAYS judge. I’ve never been anorexic and won’t even pretend to slightly know what you’ve been through. But I’ve been called anorexic all of my life by people because of my weight, so I understand the “skinny judgement”. It’s a real thing. You’re doing a wonderful thing with this blog and any treatment center would be lucky to have you as an affiliate. Listen to your Dad…he’s a wise man. Sending you hugs 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much Lisa, you’re really kind to say that. you’re right – gotta just keep on keeping on and brush it off. I’m sorry you’ve been called such a hurtful thing – it is just not right. Thanks for your kindness. Yes! Letting it go 🙂 big hugs back atcha! xox

      Liked by 1 person

  13. I doubt she even took the time to visit your pages and read a few blog entries.

    Unfortunately, we’re surrounded by so-called professionals that are everything but. A paper does not make you a professional. Experience and genuine care and passion in what you do and responsibility do. And leaving aside presuming and assuming you know what a book is about by just looking at its cover. Even worse, forming and sharing an unfounded opinion with insufficient information or research.

    You did the right by sharing this experience and getting it out of your chest. You don’t want to bottle anger up.

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  14. Dear Carolyn, allow me a moment of your time. You have heard what some health care professionals think. For the record having a leather couch from a Sears catalog and a certificate that cost all but $15 to print off at the nearest Staples doesn’t make her an expert but rather an idiot. You’re readers know what you have sacaficed to write such a book with never ending chapters. Your blog is an indication of the victory that God received when he reached you. You’re smile is just a simple reminder to the general public of God’s love for his children like you. So if Jesus Christ be in you you have nothing to fear and nothing to fear worry about. Let peecedcution allow to know Jesus in his suffering. Think on six divine thoughts of God because I will tell you I have followed your blog for 2 years now and I enjoy your words. To some they may be just words but your readers of more than 25k know you and your heart and I think I speak for everyone hear when I say, your heart is beautiful. So be strong and of a good courage. You’re not a ashamed of the Gospel and God is proud of you. Your smile isn’t so bad either.😃

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  15. Ssssssoooo one of my sayings in life is, “it always helps to know who has the problem”…is it me or the other person. It sets you free. If it is the other person, then I know to pray for that person. If it is me, then I know to to talk to God about me. It is obvious that she has an issue so ask God to help you know how to fervently, effectually pray for this person. Just think she is most likely dealing with others who have not come as far as you have and can do much damage. So defeat the enemy who wants to destroy your peace and joy by refusing to be angry and be a prayer warrior. Trust God all the way. He does not fail. 🙂

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    1. Wow, that is such a great saying. That one is going on a post-it and going on the fridge! 🙂 haha seriously though – powerful stuff. Thanks for sharing that. yes, gotta pray for her and trust the goodness of God! big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  16. Wow BBB this is incredibly powerful. As someone who had similar internal struggles but with bullyig I can sympathize your feelings to this reaction. This post is so powerful and I think what you are doing is so incredibly amazing! Please, never stop. 🙂

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    1. Hi John, gosh what a kind comment. thank you so much. I’m sorry that you can so personally relate. Know that I’m grateful for you and I think you’re awesome 🙂 hehe hugs xox

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  17. Oh my GOODNESS!! The very idea, the nerve even! Did she even care to consider what you might have been through? That’s too rude, and I am covering you in prayer, dear one. I shudder to think, though, of the lives she might be destroying with that attitude of hers! YOU, on the other hand, be blessed in knowing that you have so many people behind you. Shake that dust off your feet, girl! 😉

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  18. Good Morning Sweetheart, I hope you are having a great day full of joy. Unfortunately, Some people judge wrongly and say faulty stuff without realizing it. What you are doing is amazing. I am sure god has a better plan for you and the right sponsors will join you soon. so never give up and have hope. I would love to hear your honest opinion about my blogs page. If you have any advice for me on a way to improve my blogs.. reply back to me. Best of luck!!

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      1. I am so glad you found some encouragement in my words it is the least I can do. You are an angel. I will, thanks! hugs and much love 💕

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  19. Carolyn…there’s no amount of ignorance or inconsideration that can prevent you from the self worth and pride you deserve to feel about your struggles. The degree of inflationary issues associated with your condition would keep the average person from getting out of bed each day. Know this, with or without any sponsorship, you are doing what you are called to do by presenting this situation here. Please don’t see this as anything beyond your capacity to respond. That’s more than you can ever realize 😍

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  21. I am cheering you on! Don’t let that one person ruin your day or your desire to help others. You ARE helping others in a tremendous way. Thank you for always sharing your faith. It is foolishness to the world, but we have a better world that Jesus is preparing for us.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Wow, she must not know how to read and only zipped through a few pictures of you.

    I love your blog and everything it stands for. May God bless you in this endeaver seeking sponsors.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. You are beautiful. That is all. You are incredibly beautiful and you happen to look beautiful also. (I think she was a bit jealous and wounded, do not let that wound you.) She needs Jesus. You keep rocking. Love you. XO

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  24. Oh, Caralyn , I’m so sorry this happened to you. You are beautiful inside and out. God knows your beautiful heart. Continue to keep your eyes on Him and may it be well with your soul. He is your vindication. ❤️

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  27. I don’t usually comment on anything, but I thought I need to add my voice to others today. I follow your blog, not because I am struggling with an eating disorder, but because of your devotion to God and your honesty. I have endured my own struggles, which I feel reticent to share since doing so would cast another in a negative light and it is my duty to point them towards the light, not shine it in their eyes. Reading your blog helps me to step back from myself and refocus on God. So even though, in my specific case, you are not helping a person with an eating disorder; your blog is helping me in my daily walk with God, and that is more precious than gold. Certainly more precious than one woman’s fearful response. Sending hugs from Africa with love xx

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi again Nadine! This is such a wonderful note of kindness. Thank you. You are absolutely spreading light. And for that I am so grateful. I’m so glad my blog hits home with you. Thank you friend. You have lifted my spirit tonight. Thank you xox

      Liked by 1 person

  28. Wow. I’ve never read much detail on what you went through until this post, and how shallow of them to respond in the manner they did. I was in tears reading this. The depth and the beauty God brought through this dark experience is amazing and I’m so happy to see you doing well. Ephesians 2:10 just came to mind. You are His handiwork! Don’t lose sight of that when people respond in the same way she did. Thank you for continuing to share your story. – Joe

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  29. Caralyn, you are such an inspiration to me. I believe that the key to recovery from anything is in the spiritual solution, which takes a multitude of forms. There is huge money in treatment from these diseases, their focus is on marketing not promoting successful recovery, that they were not involved in. I have noticed a great many great writers posting on sites for treatment centers, but the focus is intake on the landing page. People can be quite abrasive and one never knows for sure what they are dealing with, so we can sometimes pray and feel sorry for them. I know you just want to help and perhaps get a return on your effort, there is something in God’s plan for you, I know it.

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  30. That was a ridiculous response… but it might be God’s way of saying “That wasn’t the right sponsor for you, dear!” Inspired by your writing, by all these loving comments, and it’s a reminder to be confident in who I am like you are – who Christ says I am, who he has made me, and not who I might appear to others who aren’t looking closely enough to see the truth! Have a blessed night! 😄❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  31. You are beautiful in body and spirit. God gave you the thorn of anorexia and the thorn of colitis so that you might be brought closer to him through your suffering. Skinny is not bad. Thin is not bad. Anorexia is bad. People who are thin have longer life expectancies. People who are anorexic are different than people who are thin. By the way you do not look thin in an unhealthy way. You look thin in a “Wow, she is hot” way (Pardon my male observation). Frankly, I do not get what the: “Certainly promotes being skinny!” comment is about. I have NEVER seen anything in your blogs that promote “skinny”. I suspect that the comment came from a fat girl who doesn’t really know the difference between “thin” and “anorexic”. (BTW, I am a fat guy — I have inverse anorexia 🙂 — so I can make this comment!!!). You have the build of a model. Indeed, it is difficult to believe that anyone so physically attractive has had anorexia or colitis; because, you look so healthy. It just goes to show that looks can be deceiving. I think that you may achieve some notoriety because of your looks (attractiveness) through modeling, etc; but, I think that your spiritual gifts, your sharing of the Word, will bring you an eternal reward far greater than any fame or fortune you can achieve on earth.

    Keep the Faith: Jesus is counting on you.

    God Bless.

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    1. Hi friend! Oh my gosh thank you. What a beautiful thought – I was actually just talking with my mom the other night about suffering and that’s exactly what she said – it draws us to Him. Thanks for your kind words. You’ve definitely made me chuckle hah 🙂 big hugs xox

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  35. My goodness — I guess we can all take away the wisdom that it’s important to do our research before saying stupid things, as this woman so obviously failed to do! To look at your photos, it’s obvious that even at a healthy weight, you are slender of frame! You are a lovely woman, Caralyn, and the true intent of your blog is in no way vague or unclear. If this woman couldn’t take the time to do her research, to read about you and your journey — well, I feel sorry for her. ❤

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    1. Thanks so much Laura. You’re so right – thinking before we speak is such a great lesson to take away from this. i definitely for one, need to take that to heart! hah Sending big hugs xox

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  36. She probably just had a quick look and saw how skinny and attractive you are and judged on that. Might be a bit of jealously going on! My first thought when I read her response.

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    1. Actually just thinking about my comment prehaps more accurate than jealously is her own insecurities. Some people feel a bit threatened or have a funny attitude towards people who do well in certain areas that they feel challenged by.

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  37. Her remark tells me that, devoid of God’s wisdom, we only see what we choose to see.

    Aren’t you glad that you’re not like her? And that you’re able to do something redemptive (pen your most recent blog post) in response to her incredibly thoughtless comment?

    Who knows? Perhaps God allowed this to happen so that you can testify to His goodness and faithfulness. And that’s what you’ve done! Now let’s see what He does next. Hold on to the promises in Jeremiah 29:11, and don’t let this woman’s steal any more of your joy!

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    1. thank you so much friend, you’re right – i have a lot to be grateful for, and I cannot begin to understand the ways in which God works, but I can always bank on the fact that He is working it together for Good. thanks x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Never underestimate the power of your testimony. I think your blog is likely impacting the lives of more people than you may ever really realize. God is already using you mightily! Be encouraged.

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  39. Hey BBB! I’d like you to know that you are so beautiful, smiles and all! All of the things listed as promoted on this post are true of what your blog does and I’d wonder why anyone would say otherwise but then I’m glad her statement got you to give a clear list 🙂 that can always be referred to in future.
    I appreciate especially point 5: ‘Recognizing that I have worth and value because Christ died for me, and nothing in my past – even an eating disorder – can negate that fact.’ I believe this is very true and will also like to challenge you to begin to believe that you are fertile (and say so). In spite of the facts presented to you, choose to walk in faith as concerns your fertility also (it is not beyond God :)) That said, you’re such a beautiful soul and this is evident in all your posts! Keep it up dear! xx

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    1. oh my gosh, thank you so much. you’re so kind to say that! yeah, it definitely made me really define what I do stand for, so that’s a positive 🙂 that is great advice. I’m going to start that TODAY! 🙂 big hugs xox

      Liked by 1 person

  40. Be thankful for the “no’s”. I try to remember that rejection is God’s protection. I’m a new blogger – learning so much. I like your willingness to ask for support.

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  41. Caralyn:

    Hmm. Think about what this person has said. If she believes that you are skinny, think about her experience with other anorexia survivors. For example, does the more typical survivor respond by putting on too much weight? Knowing that diabetes has almost become a default setting for Americans, that would be my guess.

    What then does that say about your experience and how it is different?

    Because you have returned to a healthy balance, my observation would that your faith walk places you in a different place. IMHO.

    Stephen

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    1. Thanks so much Stephen. i really appreciate this powerful perspective. you’re right, God has absolutely been the central force of my recovery, and I couldn’t do it without Him! thanks for stopping by. big hugs x

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thinking about this issue as I swam this morning, I wondered how many anorexia survivors bounce from one food issue to another without serious progress. If this is the norm, then anorexia may be more of a spiritual issue than is normally assumed. If my identity is in my physical image, rather than God’s image, then the spiritual link is established and the problem is idolatry, which is not something that non-Christian counselors know what to do with. This would explain why you found a new balance, when others have not, and why you were subjected to an ad hominem attack.

        BTW. I have been anxiously waiting to hear your take on Wonder Woman…Stephen

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      2. Thanks again Stephen. Very true – eating disorders can tend to morph from one form to another. Had it not been for God, I think I would probably be caught in that horrible cycle too. And I haven’t seen WW! I’ll have to check it out 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  42. This is just another of many tests that we must pass. You are enduring and developing a tolerance towards intolerable people. It’s become clear that most people accept us as we are; but many will not. And those are the ones that cause us the most pain. As you celebrate life, continue to chronicle your experiences, as we too are growing with you. You bless your adversaries when you celebrate your victories AND your defeats.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha thanks! They’re actually one of my affiliates! Just click on my Reebok ad in my sidebar, and they’re the MET classic shoes 🙂 thanks so much!! Hope you love them as much as I love mine!! 💛

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  44. I feel for you in this and hope you know that (like many women who have also struggled with self image, a troubling and high maintenance diagnosis, etc) NEVER ONCE have I thought your blog promotes being skinny! Not that you need that reassurance, because you know that.
    Thank you for your raw and heartfelt display of yourself. You are incredibly inspiring and do not deserve to be scorned – you are already dealing with those repercussions from yourself from those years ago and do not need it from others. God bless you and it’s so motivating to see that you’ve risen above this unfortunate experience and choose to focus on positivity and gratitude rather than resentment. It’s amazing how, too often, others look at the surface and forget to look beyond to see the true meaning and intent of the things around them.
    All the best to you! xx

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  49. My goodness that was such a cruel reply. Know what? I think that those of us who point to God (#1 on your own list of who your blog promotes) are going to catch that kind of rejection. “To those who are perishing, we are a dreadful smell of death and doom. But to those who are being saved, we are a life-giving perfume. And who is adequate for such a task as this?” (2 Corinthians 2:16 NLT)

    Liked by 1 person

  50. You are an amazing woman. Each time you post I am touched by your words. I understand how insulted you feel. Breathe… Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all your words as they have once again touched my soul and have helped to lessen my struggle.

    Liked by 1 person

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