Like a Woman Scorned…

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

This post tonight, is being served with a side of indignation.

Because I am angry.

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I hesitate to post this, because, well…you’ll see. But I need to vent.

You see, I’ve recently started reaching out to various potential sponsors for my blog. Exciting times, I know.

So I contacted an eating disorder treatment center this afternoon. Wrote them a beautiful letter, inviting them to check out my blog.

And this woman sends me back a one-liner: “Certainly promotes being skinny!”

Exclamation point.

Certainly promotes being skinny…exclamation point.

Do you hear that? It’s the sound of the are-you-freaking-kidding-me explosion of outrage detonating inside my soul.

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But more than outraged, I was just hurt.

First of all…the fact that a mental health professional wrote such a derogatory word to a former anorexic is just the epitome of insensitive.

But this blog is an extension of my soul. Literally. I have poured out everything I have – my spirit, my weaknesses, failings, struggles, triumphs, fears — everything — in the hopes that even one person would read my words and feel comforted that they’re not alone. Find hope. Encouragement. And for someone to merely reduce it to something as superficial as being about promoting “being skinny” — it was just an ice cold slap in the face.

During my anorexia, I nearly died in the quest for “skinniness.” I starved myself down to 78 pounds, and even then, I didn’t believe that I was “skinny” enough. The scale and my reflection tormented my spirit and led me to destroy relationships, miss my high school graduation, delay college, become infertile, plague my self-worth and seriously damage my relationship with God. Not to mention becoming osteopenic as an 18-year-old girl, flirting with death.

Skinny almost killed me. And I’ll be damned if I ever do anything remotely close to promoting it.

Lastly, I don’t mean to be all “over-sensitive.” I mean, I can hear my father reading this right now, going, “Just let it go…” (In the most loving way possible, of course.)

But I took this very personally. I mean, it goes without saying that my image is all over this blog. And, okay…maybe too much, I’ll admit.

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But, I have been very open with the fact that I have Ulcerative Colitis. And the way I have stayed in remission for the last six years is through a radical, therapeutic diet, called the Specific Carbohydrate Diet. (SCD) The Seattle Children’s Hospital actually just published a study a few weeks ago, proving that it cured 80% of the participants with Crohn’s/Colitis.

But it’s how I have to eat, and I have done a damn good job, if I do say so myself, because it is hard. But it is what I have to do to stay in remission. I was on bed rest for eleven months with an Ulcerative Colitis flare in 2011 that nearly took my life, and the SCD saved me – (and my intestines from being removed). In fact, I even published a cookbook with my SCD recipes.

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UC Flare ’11

BUT – all that being said, I am very well aware that this therapeutic way of eating keeps me slim. But I work hard to maintain a healthy weight, and I do. And I do not appreciate getting slapped with the term “skinny” from this mental health professional who apparently only qualifies women as “recovered” if they are on the high end of normal.

I’m sorry, would you like me to send you my vitals and recent blood work?

I just. I have no words.

And I’m sorry if this sounds like an eye-roll-worthy rant fest from a thin girl complaining for getting called “skinny.” Believe me, I know that there are far more pressing issues in the world.

So. To placate this insular inferno…here are six things this blog does promote.

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1) Loving God, because without Him, we can do nothing.

2) Loving other people, because everyone is on a journey, and could use a friend along the way.

3) Claiming the truth that you are loved by the Creator, and deserve to live in that abundant joy each and every day.

4) Accept and embrace our short comings and weaknesses, because they do not define us, and have been forgiven and redeemed through Christ.

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5) Recognizing that I have worth and value because Christ died for me, and nothing in my past – even an eating disorder – can negate that fact.

6) Loving Christ in you…therefore, loving yourself.


So there you go. If you’ll notice, “being skinny” is not on the list of things I promote.

Never has been. Never will be.

Hope that clears things up…

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**** On that note…If you or your business would like to sponsor/advertise on BBB, let’s talk! —> beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com 😉

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

546 thoughts on “Like a Woman Scorned…”

  1. Your blog not only helps those with eating disorders, (I believe it does), but it also helps the rest of us that struggle with other issues in life. No one has a perfect life this side of heaven. Thank you for caring for yourself and for others. Your insights are encouraging! The pictures are fun and your vulnerability makes me feel like I’m not alone navigating life. 🙂 May God guide your steps. He’s got your back! Ps. 91 all over you is what a friend tells me and I pass it along to you.

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  2. I relied on the internet for help before ever talking to anyone, so never find comments about using any site for help as constructive. People don’t understand sometimes. It’s not all pro-Anorexia.

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  4. Hmmmm. I’m from a different generation, and in a different financial situation, so I am not familiar with the idea of seeking sponsorships for a blog. But, I also understand that seeking a career in a creative profession requires some other sources of funding to pay the bills while developing artistic projects.

    As to the potential sponsor, I envision two concepts that jump out from your posts, one being the visual images (hence the skinny snark) and the other is your path to health through spiritual (specifically Christian) beliefs. The former issue is related to our neurological make up (vision connects to 40% of our brains, thus very influential). The second is a contentious point for counselors. On the one hand most behavioral health, and specifically anorexia, is about belief systems. But, we are supposed to be neutral, or secular, in our answers, especially in more urban environments.

    Your posts raise a questions of whether pursuing a spiritual quest in itself is a potential pathway to health, or is Christianity the way (and, more specifically the Catholic expressions within the pantheon of Christian denominations). Now, we are getting into some tough theological territory.

    Please, take my comments as observations, not criticisms of your life experiences. Your most joyous posts are about the mysteries of God’s presence in your daily life. That is much more exciting that counting calories. Other folks may have difficulty with setting aside their own belief systems (spiritual or secular) to give you a listen. –Oscar

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    1. Hey Oscar, thanks for this great perspective. Definitely some powerful food for thought there. Yeah, those are some theological questions I think that at the end of the day, every one of us has to look in the mirror and answer. Maybe not particularly pertaining to an eating disorder, but I think we all need to define what we believe in eventually. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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  6. In all honesty, I’m grateful a person like that didn’t want to sponsor you! Your good name and wonderful blog don’t deserve to be dragged through the mud with such an uncaring person like this. I’m grateful that you stand strong, and don’t consider for a moment to bend over backwards to please another person. That speaks volumes about who both of you are. Light seeks light, and I don’t think there was any light on their response. Greener pastures are there, you just have to push through the bad and know that everything is in our Father’s hands.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I can attest to this post and to your blog that it’s far from promoting being skinny… You got those 6 things right! Esp. #4.. Anyway, what really matters is what God thinks, Vit B! He is after all Your greatest sponsor that’s why your blog prospers…. More power from above.. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You were not supposed to be angry. Rejection is normal. There was a story of an author who his work was rejected many times. The irony of it is that the same work became a best-seller when it was finally published. there are must always be an opposition in order to move forward, if there is none you would just be in a spot without making progress because you would be too relaxed thinking success is that easy. I wish you the best. A time of selection is coming that there would be too many companies, parastatals, NGOs, … That would wan to sponsor your blog. Best wishes…

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  9. Wow! I read the response and was both annoyed and disappointed. You would think a so called healthcare professional wouldn’t be so flippant with their reply. But in the end, you have nothing to prove to them or anyone else for that matter. You inspire others and you serve your savior and creator. Nothing else matters.

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  10. Wow. Over 400 replies. Sorry. Can’t read all of them.

    I agree that a mental health professional shouldn’t write or say such things particularly to someone recovering from an eating disorder, but then again maybe that person is recovering too and still dealing with personal issues. At the risk of being overly personal, you are an attractive person and that could be threatening to some other people who see through the eyes of their own body image issues.

    However, that doesn’t excuse what was written and it’s subsequent impact on you. Yes, you have a right to be angry. Hopefully since this incident occurred, you’ve had an opportunity to process and realize someone else can’t define your worth as a human being and a child of God.

    People can be real jerks but God sees us for who we truly are.

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  11. I appreciate the six things you promote on BeautyBeyondBones. Keep doing the good work. Sorry about the hurtful response you got. You win some, and lose some. You will meet the right sponsors.

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  13. I am so sorry that they responded that way. So unacceptable! I wish you much success! I’m starting a blog, too, and I can’t wait to check out more of yours for inspiration!

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  14. She was probably not even a counselor, or a professional of any kind. Probably someone’s aide or secretary and weighs 400 lb and has a chip on her shoulder for anyone who is pretty and healthy. Bet my money on it. I’ve dealt with that kind my whole life, and if you’re not careful, they will tear you down.

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  15. I can’t believe she said that… she’s wrong. So wrong. Please know that I consider you and your blog a blessing, because you encourage me every time I read one of your entries. So thank you. I’m so sorry she replied to you that way, but know this: you are a blessing and an inspiration to so many, myself included. Sending you huge hugs and so much love ❤❤

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  16. Im so sorry you had to go through this, unfortunetly​ ​​I had to experience the same exact thing and I​ completely understand. Don’t worry thouth​ you will get good sponsor’s for your blog:)

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  19. Please do not let one unprofessional, uncaring person steal your thunder! It was smart of you to vent your frustrations, rather than hold them in. Stay focused, stay strong, think positive and know that you are a shining star!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. I loved this post. I am a 300lb bipolar Christian woman and I do not get that you are promoting “skinny” at all. What I see is that you are raw and real about your journey and that is beautiful because so many of us are in hiding. When I tried to explain my bipolar to MY mental health professional he told me, “I don’t know what to tell you Rebekah. You just sound like a flake!” I was glad I was not suicidal that day. 🙂 So I understand your indignation. We are more than most mental health professionals give us credit for. More than our diagnosis and more than our symptoms. We are a beautiful people, each broken in our own ways, but with the power to overcome enormous hurdles. Thank you for sharing your story. It is beautiful. You brightened my day. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Rebekah, thank you so much for your beautiful encouragement. you’re so right – even though we all have our brokenness, we all have an incredible ability to overcome any challenge. I’m sorry that you can relate on such a personal level, but it sounds like you’ve got an awesome head on your shoulders and know what’s up!! Thanks for being awesome. So glad to know you 🙂 big hugs xo

      Liked by 1 person

  21. That was so wrong. You can’t help being skinny and you have a point of view (i.e. testimony) about your own struggles with being anorexic. It’s disappointing that she couldn’t see this.

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  22. I am glad you put pen to paper and vented. Hopefully all the positive comments here will counteract the opinion of that one person. I think you are so brave to write in the authentic way you do. I will draw inspiration from you as I am only at the start of my blogging journey. Blessings and love ❤️ xx

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  24. I hope the venting helped you feel better. I will be looking into the diet you mentioned for my daughter. She is suffering so much with her UC right now. Sometimes she is afraid to eat. I started reading your blog a bit before my daughter was diagnosed. I had never heard of Ulcerative Colitis before her illness. I felt so lost and like God had abandoned my family but in your words I found a way back. Thank you.

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    1. Thanks so much Audria, thank you so much for your kind words. I am so sorry to hear that your daughter is suffering. That brings me right back to when I was in the thick of my disease. Email me at beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com, and I’ll send you the link to my cookbook — the recipes, honest to God, saved my life and have kept me in remission for six years. They brought me hope. I will definitely keep your daughter and you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. hang in there 🙂 hugs xo

      Liked by 1 person

  25. It is so sad the way some mental health professionals act based on ego not evidence. You give so much hope to so many. Please use this to motive yourself to do even more good. Thank you for what you do. God will put the right sponsor in place.

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  26. You inspire me fully to love myself. Thank you. You have helped and inspired tons of people with your words and journey; I know for a fact that is true. Some people have no idea about other people’s stories, and have no business being in the positions they are in career-wise. I think every Health care professional should take extensive classes in compassion and bed side manner. A little respect goes a long ways. You’ll find your sponsor I just know it.

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  27. That woman did not read your blog! Or else, she has a terrible time with reading comprehension. Your blogs are attitude, spirit, life, overcoming, victories, sharing, love, family, Jesus – I guess that’s enough to show what I think of you! Besides you can’t help being beautiful! How can she hold that against you? Just your lot in life. Kidding you a bit, sweet girl. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  28. I’ve just been reading through your blog and this post impacted me particularly… You have a right to be upset by that woman’s comment. You’ve vulnerably opened yourself up and bravely shared your struggles with the world and personally, I am so grateful for your authenticity. While I’ve not struggled clinically with an eating disorder, I have struggled in the past with eating and I am deeply grateful for your willingness to be so raw. Even reading some other comments in response to this, it is clear that you have had a deep impact on a great number of people struggling in this area. It’s been wonderful reading about your pursuit of Jesus in all of this. What a Saviour! So, ignore that woman’s disrespectful comment, and embrace the love and support that has poured out from your followers in response. You’re wonderful, keep pressing into God ❤

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  29. One thing I have learned is that unless someone is around you every day, learns your pain, begins to care for you in some level, they don’t care. People have become so desensitized nowadays that they don’t care. I have been brought up as a Catholic to care for every little thing, life, people, children, GOD, the most important things in life. I possess an artistic heart, deeply feeling pains, sorrows, loss, sadness, beauty, happiness. I feel people. Not everyone has that gift which sometimes is a curse. Like when you try to help someone that calls himself your friend and then you find out that he is not when things get real and that he has been backstabbing you all along. I hate to say this, but that woman was “cold” to your request and judgmental. Pray for her. Those of us that have suffered every day in life to be here, to be heard, to be loved know to forgive. Many careless things are said that leave scars that never leave. But it is to your advantage to bypass them. I have learned this, if one door blocks you, go around it. Find some way somehow to get to your goal. Don’t allow anyone to take away what GOD has destined for you. Those little blocks are everywhere, learn to pick them out and the next time you’ll know how to get around them. There is a lot of jealousy when someone is young, beautiful and hopeful. Pray before you embark on your missions of good, God will also open doors for you. God Made You, He Has a Plan For You, Let Nothing or No One Stop YOU!!! God Bless!

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  30. Hey, thank you for following me and in view of your post, primarily the six reasons for your writings; don’t. I say again, don’t give up your power to those seeking power while perpetratin’ to have power because they refuse to recognize your worth.

    You are saying something of immense value and have much to offer. “FOLK” despite who you may think they are based on where they step from or speak of being in representation of are just that; other people. Competition is scary and when you come as strong as your do… Well just know that fear is a; you understand.

    Point being, sponsorship will come just don’t trip when the arrival isn’t in accordance to your perceived time-table.

    You speak on The Almighty then know what your needs, wants and desires are have already been seen/known by… You feel me.

    Do you and rise above the chaos because you’re built like that. Proof being; look at what you’ve overcome already.

    The 22nd G

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  32. You go Girlfriend! Don’t let them change your focus. I love your list of what your blog promotes. It is clear and concise. You have shown us all how to survive ourselves. Keep it up we need all the encouragement we can get. Keep you your good work and you will be blessed.

    P.S. I’m glad you showed a little anger. It shows your reality. God Bless Milly.

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  33. Good for you to seek sponsors! And I have one word for the office that has such horrible representation in the health care industry… NEXT! You are right to be angered by their insensitive comments, but onward and upward. Your words are important and the right organization will get behind you!

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  34. Your blog promotes positivity and if that person can’t see that then they weren’t right for you. Keep your head up, stay strong, head straight forward and continue to show no fear in what you stand for!

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  36. I’m so sorry you had to go thought such a demeaning incident after all that you’ve already lived through. You’re a survivor and you’ve created something so very beautiful here. You’re trying to help others and that counts for so much more than someone misunderstanding your intentions. There are better things in store yet. Take care!

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      1. Thank you for making this blog! I’ve just discovered it and am going through the posts one by one. I’m in awe. You’re a wonderful person and it’s such a pleasure to read what you have to say.
        So much love! Xoxo

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  39. Wow! Thank you for being so vulnerable and honest in this post. There’s a story behind the name and its an awesome one. Keep sharing your message, and someone with a heart for what you’re doing will come along with exactly what you need. God takes care of his own!

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  40. Be encouraged! Stay motivated! The enemy would love nothing more than to see you offended and put off all that God has planned for you by some ‘root of bitterness’. What you do is inspiring and encourages LIFE via Christ via Love. Keep pushing! Awesome weekend, to you and the family, from Greenville, SC.

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  41. I’m so sorry to hear about this experience. Being rejected can be difficult enough when you reach out to someone, but what this woman said was completely untrue. Remember, “It’s not rejection from human beings, it’s protection from God.” (Unknown) Keep looking up! E.R.Peters

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  42. There are many, many people that are proud of you for your accomplishments. Coming from a dark place into the light. I will be 74 next week so I have been around the block a few times. My advice is this; Think of it this way. You have a large bag of apples all happy, shiny and delicious, then you spot one rotten one, Take it out and throw it away, the rest of us will thank you, I am going to share a quote with you, I hope you don’t mind that I post it here, if you do I apologize in advance.

    “An old Cherokee told his grandson, “My son, there’s a battle between two wolves inside us all. One is Evil. It is anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, inferiority, lies & ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy & truth. “The boy thought about this & asked, ‘Which wolf wins?'” The old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed”.
    Keep up the good work. Kudos to you.
    I would also like to thank you for following my humble blog. ☺☺

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    1. Thank you so much for this beautiful comment. I love that analogy about the apples…very powerful. And what a profound quote. Thank you for sharing that! I hope you have a wonderful birthday next week! Much love xox

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  44. People can be so cruel. One phrase I picked up over the years of watching some TV ministries is “people will let you down …. God will never let you down”. I have hung onto those words throughout the years as they have allowed me to see situations and people involved in them for what they really are. First off, those kind of people are under the influence of the enemy, the devil, the leader of the world and we have to always remember that. We follow God and are not accepted by this world. This is our temporary home, as Carrie Underwood mentions in her song of the same title. I remember these things when confronted with the cruelty of this world. and it helps. Hope this helps. 🙂

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  45. I can apply this to different areas of my life. Thank you for this wonderful post!! I am looking forward to discover more in your blog!

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  47. Your blog certainly looks like it promotes being happy, healthy, and passionate about life. I’m sorry that woman thought otherwise.

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  48. I say you have a right to your feelings. And you don’t look skinny to me! You look healthy. I have to eat a certain way because of my IBS and it keeps my weight down. Not a bad thing in my opinion.

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    1. Hello again friend! aw, thanks for this. I’m glad I’m not the only one! I’ll definitely keep your condition in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there 🙂 i know how tough it can be 🙂 big hugs xo

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  49. You’re very brave, to have such a journey, and inspire and help others with the learnings from your story! Don’t worry about others, when your intent is to help people, the right people will come along to make your mission possible. Be #PowerfullyYou always.

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