Life’s Souvenirs

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

You know you’re becoming an adult when you get excited about washing your mattress pad…

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I was chuckling to myself, thinking about that. I was vacuuming and listening to a podcast on world events, waiting for my sheets to finish in the dryer and I realized — it’s taken me a while, but I’m actually growing up.

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And, I realized that there are definitely some things I know now, that have changed who I am and how I live my life, for the better.

And not that I can take credit for any of these. Most are either taught from my beautiful mother, or the humiliating/devastating result of trial and [critical] error.

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1. Invest your time in the people who matter to you.

Your actions speak a lot louder than your words, and how you spend your free time is a big indicator to what and who you value. And at the end of the day, your “true blue” friends are going to mean a lot more than any loud and obscure party. So choose accordingly.

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2. If someone takes the time to leave you a voicemail, listen, and call them back.

Even if it’s just a text reply, RESPOND. I spent years and years during my anorexia just not picking up the phone and not returning the calls and texts from my friends. They’re reaching out because they care about you. But if you don’t reciprocate, the rejection will eventually wear on them, and they will just stop trying. Friendships and relationships matter.

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3. If people matter to you, let them know.

I have lived by the rule that a lady should never show her cards and keep her heart close to her chest. But you know what? That has gotten me nowhere. And in one weekend here, I have interacted with three separate men, all of whom had feelings for me during different periods of life, and I never let them know that I too, felt the same. And you know what? They are now all happily in relationships, and there’s nothing I can do about it.

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4. There is no better accessory than confidence.

If you feel good about yourself, then other people will too. Period.

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5. Say “yes” more often.

I’ve learned that if you really want to start living, you need to say, yes – Incorporate it into your vocabulary. Embrace the lifestyle that it produces, and don’t look back.

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6. Listen to your gut.

Here’s the thing: some people call it intuition, some people call it your conscience, some people call it a gut feeling, but I’m here to tell you…it’s the Holy Spirit’s nudging. Cheesy, sure. Accurate? Absolutely. You’ll know you’re doing the right thing because you feel at peace. That’s the Spirit moving in your heart. Listen. And if you’re feeling restless, that’s a big ol’ Red Flag, and probably something should change.

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Which is why, I’m actually writing this from Ohio. 

Surprise!

Yes, I actually decided to come home for a little bit while my mom gets a heart procedure done.

Ever since her stroke back in December, I’ve adhered to that final advice, following the peace. But when I was back in NYC, let’s just say I was a tinderbox of emotion the whole time. It was as though I were there in body only…my heart and spirit were back in Ohio with my mom.

So I’m going to be home for a few weeks and be with her while she’s recovering and adjusting to her new post-stroke normal.

It turns out, that we really only get one chance in life. One go around the sun. And the older I get, the more I’m realizing that there are actually, very few things that truly matter…and probably the biggest of these is family.

So there you go…

If you need me, I’ll be basking in this glorious peace.

What are some of the best “Life Souvenirs”  you’ve picked up along the way?

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

274 thoughts on “Life’s Souvenirs”

  5. Such a beautiful photo, your smile is contagious! Best wishes for your mum, may she be whole again very soon. Such good words, you are very wise for your young age my friend. And I totally agree that it’s the Holy Spirit moving in you. I’ve been a Believer for decades and am familiar with the sensation when He moves upon you. It’s a wonderful thing and so reassuring. Be well! ❤️

    Liked by 2 people

  9. YES! This material could not have been presented any better way! It was all practical, realistic, and healthy. People do need to realize more that what is important should be invested in. I feel like every age group struggles with something whether it is finances, marriage, money, career, bullying, comparison, identity, and/or family but some things are worth fighting for and some things are worth letting go of. I choose to let go of more of the nonsense and keep more of my sense. Blessing to you and your family. 🙂

    -JV

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    1. Thank you so much JV! I think you’re right – every life stage has its “thing.” But you’re right – there are really only a handful of things that truly matter. thanks for stopping by! big hugs xo

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      1. The surgery is over and was successful, the cardiac disease probably a legacy of Agent Orange from my Vietnam years. I’m doing great, and God has blessed me greatly. Prayers and virtual hugs going you and your mom’s way too.

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  14. You look so content in this photo, and your eyes glow. More than just your normal beautiful smile. I’m so glad! God bless you as you continue to listen to his voice and follow, even when it ends up differently than you expected. Enjoy your time with your Mamma! 🙂
    Robin

    Liked by 1 person

    1. oh my gosh Robin, that’s so kind of you to say! thank you!! yeah, I was with my best friend and she took that photo – she captured spontaneous joy 🙂 thanks for your encouraging words. hope you have a beautiful night! hugs xo

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      1. People always say “30 is the new 20,” etc. 60? Not the new anything. Just 60! But I have younger friends and I’m teaching the youth group now and then at church. Keeps me young. Or is it immature…??

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  16. Some proverb-size souvenirs:

    If you can’t make a mistake, you can’t make anything
    Moderation in everything, including moderation
    Balance in everything, including balance
    If you can’t measure it, it can still exist in large measure.
    Everything looks broken in the middle (R Moss Canter – referring mostly to projects)

    .. and there are more.

    But I want you to know that the joy you are writing with is just contagious. You’re keeping us all bubbly!!

    -John

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hey John! Thanks so much for these awesome souvenirs! I love that so much – Balance in everything, including balance. Such powerful pearls of wisdom! thanks for sharing! big hugs xox

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      1. So some more spiritual ones:

        God has no grandchildren.
        God loves you just the way you are but loves you WAY too much to leave you that way.

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  21. I am sitting in my house reading your beautiful words with tears streaming down my face as my daughter is in the tub. I have been feeling isolated and out of sorts. Your reminders are timeless and eye-opening and helped to fuel my tired soul. Thank you so much. I am praying for your mother and rejoicing in the peace only Ohio can give you right this moment.

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    1. Awww thank you so much! I’m so glad this hit home with you. I’m sorry you’ve been going through a trying patch. You’re definitely in my thoughts and prayers. Thanks for your kindness. Sending you the biggest hugs xox

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  23. Your blog exudes such positive inspiration that we could all learn to live by. Always look forward to your new posts. Sending my thoughts and prayers to your mother and wishing her much success in her heart procedure and post-recovery!

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  25. Often we shrug away those Holy Spirit nudges – but they are so important! And I love the advice on letting people know if they mean something to you. Great post. Love your work! And enjoy Ohio.

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  29. This is good. I would have to agree with your souvenirs. Particularly the ones about friendship. They do matter. It takes no time to answer a call or reply to a text. Or to even make one. “I’m busy” is one of my most despised phrases. If you don’t have time for me in life don’t make time for me in death. All of these are great. Good post.

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  30. You’ve obviously grown into a beautiful (inside and out) and wise woman. Congratulations on learning well from life’s lessons at such a young age! And you’re able to pass them on so eloquently, too 🙂

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  32. Liking your list 🙂 One “life souvenir” to add to your list is the opposite of what you wrote. Yes, I completely agree that we should say Yes more often. It widens out worldview. But, we should also feel it’s okay to say NO. We women especially are raised as people-pleasers, and sometimes we get over-scheduled, or corralled into social invitations we don’t really want to accept. We should remember that it is our time too. And Just Say No. It’s hard at first, then liberating.

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    1. Hi Cindy! Thanks so much for sharing this! You’re so right – saying no is just as powerful a thing to do too! I guess to clarify, when I said say yes, it was less on the people pleasing and more on saying yes to relationships and invitations from friends. During my anorexia, I spent years in isolation, and so a big part of my healing has been embracing relationships and saying yes to social things. But you’re right, there’s a fine line between saying yes and people pleasing. And amen! It is our time and we should feel free to say no if we so choose 🙂 thanks so much for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  33. “He leadeth me, He leadeth me, by His own hand He leadeth me.” An old hymn I picked up long ago and now sing to myself as a prayer. It helps me trace back over a long life and remember/recognize how He was leading me by His own hand at every juncture of my life. I’ve been reading your blog silently for a time now, Many times you talk about things I’ve long ago experienced and think about, but you have the right words to describe them. That is a blessed gift. May the Lord continue to bless you richly!

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  34. Beautiful and I am so proud of you for following the peace and being there for your mom. Such a blessing to spend time with them whole you can. I chose dad for as long as he lived here before he passed and I do not regret one minute of that… now. You rock! About life souvenirs… give up immediately is my wisest advice. Being humble is always at the tip of my tongue and thought process. Being humble keeps you in an attitude of prayer and relationship with God so He can handle life with you and lead you easier through the Holy Spirit. Any problem arises, give up n immediately and pray and give it to God and ask for help. He is generous and loving and full of grace and helps you make the best choice. Love you! XO

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    1. Hi Tonya! thank you so much for your encouraging words. Yeah, I am so at peace being here with her. That’s such a beautiful gift you gave your father. i really admire that 🙂 thanks for your pearls of wisdom. God is good. hugs xox

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  35. I really appreciate your post. Yes, family matters the most. As I said to my daughter, for different circumstances, friends come and go, but family stick together even if they are miles apart. My side of the family is in Hong Kong. I also appreciate what you said about nudging by the Holy Spirit. I learned to be as ease about silence, especially in counseling situation. I told my clients that I don’t have any agenda, I listen to the Holy Spirit to guide what I want to say to respond to what they say. It’s so good for you to spend a few weeks with your mom after her stroke. Yes, we only have one life to live. I’m thankful that God extended my life after a stage IV cancer. I’m grateful for every moment of my life.
    I said that already but say it again, that you’re very beautiful. I’m so happy so see you becoming a sensitive beautiful lady! Blessings to you and pray for your mom’s recovery!

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  37. I had to laugh when I saw the pic of you with a new Furby; I had a couple of them when I was 10 or so! 😄

    Back in Ohio! What is your gut telling you about remaining in NY? As The Clash famously asked, ‘Should I stay or should I go?’

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    1. Hahahaha thanks Steve…yeah I found that old pic, and just busted up laughing! Had to share:) yeah that’s a good question- I’m still not ready to give it up completely, so I think I’ll be splitting time for a while:) Hugs and love xox

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  42. I love #3. I’m so glad you’re listening to your gut, that nudge from God. I often wish I’d moved back to my mom’s when I had the chance, but I chose to stay in Maryland, and met a guy who later broke my heart. I have to believe it was all for a reason ultimately or I’d live in regret. Sending prayers for your mom.

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    1. Aw thank you so much:) yeah we’ve gotta tell people they matter 🙂 thanks so much for your kind words. I’m so sorry that you’ve had to go through heart break. 😦 I pray that it will somehow be used ultimately for good. Thanks for your prayers. Big hugs xox

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  43. Love this sis, especially numbers 1, 2 and 5! I am realizing these things as I get older and am maturing as well. Bless you and glad you are following peace. It’s the most important thing we have when we have Jesus.

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    1. Thanks so much:) I’m so glad you enjoyed the read! You’re so right- once we realize that Jesus is the most important thing, everything else kinda falls into perspective. Hugs and love xox

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  44. The run and the jump – that’s cruel! (And on mistakes, it’s probably good to think on how God sees them, in the sense, grace was always there)

    Hmm… the reg flag of restlessness. Touches a chord…

    Life souvenirs? And perhaps to save me some thought, wisdom is feminine…

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    1. Hahah yeah I thought it was pretty fitting. Thanks for these thoughts — I love that, His grace is always there, even in the mistakes. Very powerful….thanks for your kind words. Hugs and love xox

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  46. I’m so glad you are with your mom. When she is gone you won’t be able to bring her back. And there will be many times you will wish you had said something to her that you didn’t or done something with her that you could have and didn’t so I’ll encourage you to do and say those things now as they pop up over the days you are together, do and say whatever comes up. There are questions I wish I had asked my grandmother about our family that I will never have the opportunity to ask now. There are things I wish I had told Mom that I can never tell her now. So let me encourage you to do and say things with your mom.

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    1. Aw thank you so much. Yeah I am really glad I’m with her too:) she’s my best friend I just need to be here. That’s really great advice. I definitely will take it to heart. Thank you for sharing that. Sending big big hugs xox

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  47. Wow, this post really resonated with me! Your second and third points reminded me that I shouldn’t let fear hold me back from being transparent, even if it may lead to rejection, and just say Yes and allow the Holy Spirit to lead and direct my path.

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  49. Hate to say it (not) but I told you so – You needed Ohio as much as it needed you!!! Anyway, so glad that you are on track and things are going well. Great words to live by as well ( ….be the Love You want to Receive) I absolutely agree with this statement!

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  50. Thank you for yet another meaningful and thought provoking post! In regards to item #6, it could also be called ‘discernment’ and, like so many other things in life, if you “don’t use it you’ll lose it. If you continually ignore these nudges you will eventually lose the ability to even feel/notice them as our hearts become hardened and seared. If we continue to ignore these promptings, we need also to remember that God will not contend with man forever (Isaiah 57:15)…

    One item I had to “pick up” (learn) along the way is the opposite of #5 on your list. One of the coping mechanisms I (unfortunately) learned at an early age was that life was easiest for me if I kept those around me happy. One of the easiest ways to accomplish this was to say “yes” to their every wish and/or whim – a perfect recipe for a full-blown co-dependent and future addict!!! It took many years, but I learned to set boundaries and – horror of horrors – learned it really was okay to say “no”… Keep up the good work and “hugs” and prayers to your Mom!

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