Unfailing Love

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Confession: It’s less than 30 minutes before this post is supposed to go “live,” and I’m still staring at a blank screen.

After Monday’s post, I’ve been, underwhelmed to say the least, to sit down and pour my heart out in an emotional and spiritually uplifting post.

The response, and rather – the backlash – from the post, brought out, some not-so-nice words, to put it lightly. My faith was questioned. I was told I was cursed by God – and that my singleness, infertility and history with anorexia were all signs of said curse. I was called names that would make a sailor blush. (All of said comments have been removed.)

And to be honest, I’m just not, really, feeling the whole emotional vulnerability thing tonight.

And I get that I put out a piece that garnered a lot of feelings from a lot of people, and I did expect that type of response. And frankly, negative feedback comes with the territory of putting yourself on the internet – I completely understand that and am ready to take a few hits. But I guess I wasn’t really expecting it to get that personal.

But: I’m sorry if the piece was offensive to you. Truly, my sincerest apology. I was seeking to merely start a healthy, respectful dialogue. Nothing more, and if my words hit a place of sensitivity, then please accept my apology.

So tonight, I thought I’d share my favorite excerpt from my book, Bloom: A Journal by BeautyBeyondBones.

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“May Your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing…Let me hear of Your unfailing love to me in the morning for I am trusting You.” Ps 143:10

“Your unfailing love” That made me scoff. Unfailing love was for “Becky with the good hair.” It was for the choir singers. The do-gooders. Not me. Not the liar. Not the dirty anorexic. All I could see when I looked in the mirror was failure. How could a God with unfailing love, even consider loving a girl that she, herself, was an utter failure? It seemed out of the realm of possibility.

There’s a term I’ve come to lean on. It started in recovery, and since then, has expanded to other areas of my life: Radical Trust. It’s radical because it just doesn’ make any sense. It’s an extreme move.

God, I’m just going to go for it and trust You. Your love and graciousness is unfathomable, and I cannot comprehend how good You really are, so I’m going to be bold and trust You. Be radical and trust that You are going to help me through this incredibly hard and scary season of my life. Turst that You really will give me firm footing and that You really do love me.

Do you believe in His unfailing love to you? Hearing that, how does it make you feel? Can you trust Him? What could happen if you were to trust Him?

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BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

398 thoughts on “Unfailing Love”

  3. After reading countless posts from your site, I found that you are courageous for sharing yourself and your feelings openly. Your intentions were in the right place and know that you are not going to please everyone who reads your posts. I always get nothing but positivity after reading your topics and there are times when I learn something new or am provoked to look at my life from a different perspective. Stay strong Caralyn and know that I as a reader see that all your writings come from the heart.

    Liked by 9 people

  4. Beautiful post, as always. I’m sorry some have been cruel to you, but many more are inspired by your story, as am I. You help me remember who Jesus came for: the brokenhrarted who just need real love and lasting freedom from the heavy chains we all carry.

    Liked by 5 people

  5. Everything would happen if we trusted Him, just to answer that question. 🙂 I’m sorry you were attacked for having an opinion. I read last weeks post. I didn’t see anything that I thought would/should/could provoke such anger towards you. Prayers for all of us, and for all of us to love each other like we want to be loved :):)

    Thank you for the excerpt from your book. It is wonderful! Your book is on my Christmas list 😉 Who is excited ME!

    Your testimony in that excerpt has to resonate with almost everyone who reads it. God Bless you 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I’m so sorry to hear about all the negative backlash you received. I wonder if any of those who reacted so harshly and wrote things they’d never say to your face will ever apologize for the way they offended YOU. It goes both ways in this age we live in. And some people just need to grow thicker skin; there are far too many über-sensitive people in society. This is your blog, your opinions. If they don’t like those opinions, they can express as much in a respectful manner. But there are over six billion people in the world, thus there are over six billion opinions on everything from how to squeeze a toothpaste tube to who should be president. You’re not going to please everyone, nor should you. Even Jesus couldn’t do that, and He’s God. 😉

    Liked by 4 people

  10. I read a few of those items last night on your blog. The one about needing to atone for your sins by becoming a bride of Christ, well, I almost responded to that, but your reply was fairly light and I figured I would only stir things up. I let it go.

    I did have to read it twice, though. I couldn’t believe anyone would put that to you in writing! I always say you can think whatever you want, but watch what you let out of your head and where you point it!

    Listen, kiddo, I know you’re aware that being in a public forum incurs a certain amount of criticism and abuse. That doesn’t mean you should expect to not be affected by it.

    You know this is true, but let’s say it out loud just to make sure you don’t lose sight of it – a lot of people love you and what you stand for. I know I do! I truly wish I could give you a hug in person, kiss your head, and tell you it’s ok. If it helps, go back to Beauty and the (ED) Beast. I still stand behind every word of it!

    I’m looking forward to the time – whenever it might happen – for Julie and you to meet each other. It’ll be a grand occasion! In the meantime you just keep hanging in there, weather the storm, and continue being the wonderful, God-healed and healing person you are! Love and hugs!

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Aw, Jeff, thank you so much for this. You are so great. yeah sometimes it bewilders me, actually. and I know! I cannot wait for the time too! and it WILL happen! hopefully sooner rather than later 🙂 thanks for this dose of sunshine 🙂 hugs to you and Julie! xo

      Liked by 1 person

  11. There’s no need to apologize: those who are offended got that way by their own actions. You didn’t offend them: they actively took offense at something you said. Those people go through life looking for reasons to be upset; it’s like a drug for them — you just happened to provide their fix the other night. And like shooting up, it’s their actions that got them high, not yours.

    What defines us isn’t what happens to us; it’s how we react to what happens to us.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. I hadn’t read your previous blog post so had to go back and review it for context. Yes, this sort of tragedy pulls strong emotions out of pretty much everyone, and even slightly disagreeing with those folks who believe stronger gun control laws are the answer to all gun violence can get you snapped at.

    I commented about it at my “Robots” blog, which has an international readership, and one gentleman from the UK very politely said that Europeans absolutely don’t understand ‘Murica’s love affair with firearms. Unfortunately, he also, being an atheist, chided another of my readers for mentioning God and suggested that God had no place in a discussion of facts. My friend, a Jewish man living in Israel and one who is highly intelligent and self-expressive, had no problem rebutting the other person’s opinions.

    I’m glad that their conversation ended there. It could have gotten ugly.

    Today, I wrote about how important it is that we are free to disagree with each other openly and publically. This is in contrast to much of what I hear is happening on some university campuses where fear of “hate speech” is resulting in restricting free speech (even when that “hate speech” is merely “I disagree with you” rather than racist, sexist, etc… name calling).

    It’s terrifying to imagine that we may one day live in a world where we are forbidden to express dissenting opinions so that various groups can feel “safe”. It’s not a safe world sadly enough, and it won’t be until we are ruled by the King of Kings. Until then, we all need to behave like little Messiahs (Christs) repairing our little corner of the world as best we can.

    Liked by 2 people

  13. I can’t imagine anyone making anything but a positive and supportive comment on your last post. I thought it was touching and beautifully written. It made me look at my own mind and take stock of any negativity I might be projecting in the world

    Liked by 1 person

  15. You have nothing to apologize for. You have a right to your opinion. What other people think of you is none of your business. When you fully accept that you’ll never question yourself again. This comes from years of experience being on the Internet. Many blessings, Cherokee Billie

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Pastor, trust God loves you! God knew you before you were born and you were wonderfully made with God already knowing your purpose. Not one of us has gone through your experience which was both private and personal. God gave you the courage to share your story and to help and inspire others which you are doing now. Those who have cast judgement upon you are like the people with stones in their hands ready to kill that woman when Jesus appeared. With one question, one by one the stones fell to the ground. Only God knows our heart and our intentions. Only God will judge us. Those who have judged you may want to apologize now and drop their stones. Hi to your Mom. I pray for you and your family each day. Have your people contacted Tebows people yet? SEC network. Give him a call! I love you, many here love you but what matters is how much God loves you! You are His annointed child.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. oh Rick, thank you so much 🙂 this is such a beautiful comment. I really appreciate it. that is my favorite bible story – the woman at the well. it brings such comfort. thanks for your continued prayers. i’m so blessed to have you as a friend! Hugs and love xox

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  17. I thinks it’s accept that we live in a Post-Modern Age of Relativism. And that affects many of the thought processes people carry. For instance, the ability to perceive a post as inflammatory and to respond as though you are being attacked. And it’s more prevalent in our connectedness with the internet. My prayer for you is to receive the mercy and grace from Jesus, the High Priest who stands as our mediator. For He knows our struggle, having experienced it. (Hebrews 4:14-16). And should you suffer scorn for your convictions, then you walk a path traveled by few. For that same scorn was thrown at Jesus, so you are in good company. (John 15:18-20.)

    Looking forward to know you more through your posts.

    -Derek

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Those who fight for truth ought to be supported by those who wish to see them succeed, so it’s my pleasure.

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      3. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have two years worth of blog posts to read through. See you on the other side.

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      5. So far I do. You have a brilliant way of encapsulating struggle and the beauty that comes from its redemption. Plus your writing is quirky so it keeps me engaged. You’re spreading His Word, what more could I want? 🙂

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      7. You’re welcome. I’m intrigued by you and your journey so I have to keep going on. So don’t be surprise if I drop comments on your posts from the past; little book marks of my journey of your story!

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  18. BBB,

    #1. Don’t you EVER apologize for what you believe in! If what you believe in is love for yourself and others, and yes that includes the “right” we have as Americans to own guns. We have the right to defend ourselves against the mush noodle brains that get out here and kill others! Let me tell you something. Those who attacked you, if someone was trying to kill them or their family members they would be trying to grab any and every weapon they could to defend themselves. So don’t let them fool you!

    That is what makes this country one of the hardest countries to overtake is because people have weapons in their homes! People do not think about that kind of stuff. This is also one of the things which keeps our government out of our homes, as we have the right to defend our lives and what we own.

    I do not care who reads this, I am telling you now, “I do not apologize and if this offends you, then go to bed offended because I do not care!” Don’t push your beliefs on me because I promise you, you will not so much as move forward an inch with it. If this offends you, then “tolerate me,” because that is the theme of the day!!! You want me to tolerate you, then tolerate me!

    #2. BBB-The people who attacked you are doing nothing but typing on a computer screen, just like I am right now. The beauty of that is, you deleted it all!!!! All a mouth is, is a hole in a face with a tongue and some teeth held in by some cheeks. It chews, it spits, it swallows, and at times it throws it all back up! When it throws it up, it is then flushed down the toilet! So take that vomit and flush it down the toilet and be done with it.

    #3. It is okay not to go with the “flow of society.” It means you think for yourself! It means you do not have to have someone to think for you! What is wrong with that? Not one single, solitary thing!!!!

    #4. Many, many people love you. God loves you. You love us. Don’t let a few rotten apples ruin the whole bunch! That is what would be your mistake!

    #5. As far as you being “cursed.” Do you believe in Jesus? Which the answer is “yes.” There are no more curses. See the Cross kind of took care of all of that, for you. Took care of it for me, too!

    #6. When someone attacks me in my life you know what I say. I quote the Bible in fact Psalms. “I will not eat of your delicacies and your oil will not anoint my head.” It kind of just shuts them up. For one thing they have no clue as to what I am referring to?? They are just kind of left dumb-founded. A blank stare is what I get almost every single time.

    #7. You are beautiful inside and out! I love you! I love your heart! I will always be here to defend you! Love you and God Bless, SR

    Liked by 2 people

      1. Brittania,

        Glad it helped! 🙂 One cannot let another destroy the very essence of who one believes that they are. A mouth is just a mouth. Most of the people who attack others with it, could not fight their way out of a wet paper bag! I cannot stand it when someone attacks her, in this manner. I am from Texas and as they say, “A Texas woman is tougher than the toughest football player.” Most of us are. These kind of people just irritate me to death! 🙂 God Bless, SR

        Liked by 1 person

    2. oh my gosh SR, this is such a comforting and empowering note of encouragement. thank you so much. I love that – I will not eat of your delicacies! amen to that! just gotta brush it off and keep my eyes and ears on Him 🙂 big hugs to you xox

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  19. Caralyn, your post last week was exactly what I wanted to hear. It sickens me when people use emotionally traumatizing events to manipulate people for the sake of politics. Your post was kind and loving as always, but absolutely called those people who are drawing attention away from the real issue (helping the victims) and towards helping their own agendas. And I love that about your posts: kind and loving, yet confident and honest. Lots of your opinions may not be popular, but you express them anyway, because it’s the right thing to do and absolutely has to be said. I’m so sorry that you were attacked for expressing your feelings. You are supported, and those who attack you are completely missing the point of your blog: acceptance and healing. Thank you for always being honest, real, and inspiring.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. So sorry you had to experience the backlash. You were one of my first followers when I started blogging. I remember thinking you seemed so real and open in your posts and, to be honest, it is what gave me the strength to start my blog being 100% open as well. You encourage me with your vulnerability. Don’t let harsh words from others put out your flame. You, my dear, are a treasure!

    Liked by 2 people

  22. It makes me so sad when a person as kind as you are is attacked for honestly sharing feelings. Well I guess we were told that some would hate us because of Him. I guess some people really do inhabit a different world from the one I try to stay in.
    But I definitely know that feeling that makes you want to walk away from the keyboard and go crawl under a blanket and watch an old movie. You always wish me love and hugs, this time I offer them back to you!

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    1. Hey JP, thanks so much for this. I really means a lot. Yeah, it definitely is not a very great feeling. haha yes! hugs and love are my favorite things to give to people 🙂 i’ll definitely take it 🙂 hope you have a great weekend! xox

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  23. I’m so sorry to hear of the negative and hurtful remarks people left you. I had not read any of the remarks from your last posting. You are truly special to let your guard down and share your story with the world. It is not easy to do. I know, since I’m attempting to do the same thing right now. But no one has YOUR story. Share it with everyone. Your details and your life. It will touch the ones it is meant to touch. God will use it and you. He already is. All my best to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences so openly. It takes courage to step out in faith and risk the heartbreak that comes with speaking to the hearts of others. Praying for God’s comfort and strength (1 John 4:4). Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  25. “I was told I was cursed by God – and that my singleness, infertility and history with anorexia were all signs of said curse.”

    Oh, good grief. What Biblical amateurism. Apologize for nothing, Caralyn. Your blog, your post, your heart. (And we just won’t tell the Apostle Paul that his singleness was a curse.)

    You asked a difficult question, Caralyn. I don’t find God all that loving, at least my instincts don’t. I find him…calculating. Concerned with the plan. I write AGAINST that sort of God all the time on my own blog because I’m preaching to myself. Thanks for drawing that out.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences so openly. It takes courage to step out in faith and risk the heartbreak that comes with speaking into the hearts of others. Praying for God’s comfort and strength (1 John 4:4). Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Regardless of the “worse-than-negativity” hatred and vitriol that was spewed all over you for your position in the previous post, I for one, appreciate your honest opinion and thoughts on the topic. Thanks for speaking into a heated issue. I applaud your courage.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. I usually abstain from commenting, but I thought this post warrants one…

    My heart was made heavy after reading how people responded to your last post… To be honest and transparent, I’ll say that after reading it there were a lot of things I didn’t agree with. I’m one of those mainline liberal Protestants you hear about every now and then… And like yourself, my faith in Christ is what centers me.

    And that was the part that resonated with me, the fact that there was a common core with which we could both relate… And that was how our faith in God is what is central to how we navigate the world we live in. I may not agree with everything you do, and I’m assuming that you would not agree with everything that I believe in… But if the Spirit of God is present I believe that civil discourse, guided by our shared faith, can genuinely occur.

    If you are ever looking for that kind of conversation you are always free to reach out.

    Blessings,
    The Rev. Casey Carbone

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    1. Hi Casey, wow, thank you so much for this thoughtful response. it seriously means so much. You’re right – we do have that common bond in Christ, and that is a beautiful thing. And it’s true – those respectful conversations foster healing and understanding. 🙂 big hugs to you xox

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  33. I believe this post is referring to your post from the other day concerning the horrible tragedy that occurred in Vegas, I am sure that most people that have an opinion about something like that do not really fathom the scope of those events – thankfully. However, the reality is, that events like these always evoke strong emotions and those emotions are not quelled very easily. What happened in Vegas is the prime example of evil run amok. It cannot be explained, it cannot be removed from our society. Although, we should try to prevent it, it cannot be stopped…

    …at least not by human means…

    I do not consider myself a “believer” in the same sense that you might, but what I do know is that evil cannot exist, if there was not a God to call it evil. But although evil exists, it is not because of God, but because of free will – and free will is the only thing that we human beings have dominion.

    And there is no one, absolutely no one, that can honestly explain the individual tragedies we traverse in our individual lives. Your struggle with anorexia, your singleness (Trust me, sometimes that’s a total blessing), or your infertility has nothing to do with God loving you. Being Catholic, you already know that anything to do with human suffering has its roots in Adam & Eve’s original sin, and the Jesus’ saving act on the cross is what relieves your soul of human suffering; reconciliation is for the decisions YOU make…

    Ugh…people’s judgment piss me off and I don’t even consider myself anywhere near holy….ugh!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You asked questions at the end of your post, that I didn’t even answer:

      Do you believe in His unfailing love to you?
      Truthfully, I don’t know that I do…I find my life a struggle and my dealing with what some might consider “temptations” to be….hmmm…not evil

      Hearing that, how does it make you feel?
      Worse…lol

      Can you trust Him?
      Truthfully, I do not.

      What could happen if you were to trust Him?
      I don’t know how.

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  36. I didn’t love your post… But, this is your blog… It should be your safe space…

    Besides, I think if we can’t hear out a different opinion… We will never learn or grow. On both sides of any disagreement…

    I’m sorry that that happened. But, I love your response here. Way to be the bigger person and live in love and faith ❤️❤️

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for this encouragement and kindness, Cinn. I love your outlook!! it’s so true – respectful dialogue, where everyone brings their perspectives and personal experiences brings healing and understanding. I love learning from others so much. Thank for your support and kindness. Hugs and love xox

      Liked by 1 person

  37. Unfortunately, the horrible violence that happened gave way to more verbal violence in the reactions of some. I appreciate more than you know that you have continued reading my now rare posts, and I know you can see I agree with what you wrote in Monday’s post about those reactions. I was reminded last night that some of the hard things we go through may be considered sharing in the suffering of Christ. 1 Peter 4:12-19 You might want to read a bit more of the chapter than just those. Reminding yourself of this truth may help you find the firm footing to keep moving forward. In the love of Christ, Melissa

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks so much for this, Melissa, I really appreciate it. I’ll definitely check out that passage. I do love that verse. it brings such comfort and hope. Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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  38. Negative feedback from your last blog? I put it up on my facebook page and two people forwarded it from me and support you. God bless your vulnerability. With some of the horrible comments from people regatding the Las Vegas shooting, I am convinced evil looms large on the earth and it hit your blog.

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  39. I needed this. Since anorexia, I can’t love myself. I can’t be emotional or vulnerable. It’s something I’m working towards in recovery. I need God’s unfailing love even though I feel like I don’t deserve it. Please pray for me on this journey! Xoxo

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  40. I am sorry you received so much negative feedback. It’s brave to put your thoughts out there, and people can agree or disagree without being mean about it. You are a great writer and I hope you don’t let it get you down. Also, God is not going to curse you or anyone. God loves you.

    Liked by 1 person

  42. I just read Monday’s post and I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. You are entitled to your opinion and you shouldn’t be shamed for having a difference of opinion. Pay no attention to the hateful words that were said.

    You are a remarkable young woman. Not only are you a survivor of anorexia, you shamelessly speak of God’s work in your life, daily. You are a beacon of hope and a witness of Christ’s transforming love.

    You are a ray of sunshine in a darkened world and have made beauty of your ashes, encouraging others to do the same.

    You are a woman after Gods own heart. I can’t imagine him being any prouder. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Hi Penelope, thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate your support, and I’m glad the post resonated with you. Gosh, I am seriously so touched by your affirmation. You’ve absolutely brightened my day. big big super de duper hugs 🙂

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  43. Christ died, willingly for my sins and the sins of the entire human race. So that we might, if we have the use for it, face God without fear of judgment. That is the greatest example I have for how I am to live, to give up my self will out of love. Those whom I might be the least comfortable with are most deserving of that compassion. Scatter Love and Light

    Liked by 2 people

  44. Caralyn, being open and honest about your viewpoint is welcome and refreshing. You are on this earth to please God not man. The negative and hurtful remarks say much more about the people making them than you. You are a beautiful loving person. Don’t let anyone steal you idenity by their own negativity. I am cheering you on. Go and continue to be yourself. Xoxox Hugs!!!

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  45. When I write something and feel that the words have passed through the heart and that express true feelings; which distil images of my memory and things learned; that writing can be meaningful to someone, be useful, and to help you in your circumstances, then I feel a great pleasure, and it is a joy in my mind; when I can do it.

    In these moments there is a spiritual communion between what I feel, what words express, and with all those who can be fed by them; with those that only the words and the Spirit of the Lord may be; and my soul rejoice.

    As a principle, I always ask the Lord for permission, Light, and pertinence to express the good. It is an attitude of faith that emanates and converges towards the Centre which is Jesus the Lord.

    His whole history is alive, and all that He did, does and will do, is out of love, for His Father, and through His Church, His people.

    Knowing this, my faith is strengthened because it trusts, my Hope is animated because He Reigns, my soul is consoled and rests in Him because it finds shelter, like a river that meets the sea.

    Because He has risen and because we believe in a Living God, He encourages me to persist and to stand by His side.

    Knowing that to Him everything is possible, that all Power belongs to Him, “I am he that liveth, and was dead; and, behold, I am alive for evermore, Amen; and have the keys of hell and of death.” (Revelation 1:18), and reserves His treasures and gifts to those who are faithful to Him.

    And to all who, in faith, believing, accepting and invoking Him, in Spirit and Truth, will be called to His Way, His Truth and His Life; with the hope of attaining His Kingdom and Eternal Life.

    But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. Hebrews 3:13

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  46. Those people that told you you were cursed by God – and that your singleness, infertility and history with anorexia were all signs of said curse – are just not true Christians. God is LOVE – you are loved by Christ. Ultra right Christians and the fundamentals and literalists are the greatest threat there is to Christianity in the U.S. today.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Jennifer, thank you so much for your kind words. Yes! I’m all for a healthy and respectful and spirited conversation! That’s where healing and understanding grows! But yeah – respect is the key word 🙂 thanks for stopping by! Hugs and love xox

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  48. Hello sweet, beautiful amazing woman. Please always remember you are exactly what God made you, you are Gods child and He loves you. We all have our personal struggles and thats ok because every struggle is a step toward deeper faith.

    God is, has and always will be God and God will do what God does, in Gods time when the time is right. This is your time. God has sent His blessing of support to you through all of us that have been led to read this post, sit down and respond to your pain. He looked into your heart and saw your pain. Right this very moment He is working to give you everything you need to get through this.

    I know that people can be consumed with evil, say and do cruel things, be insensitive to others and judge everyone except themselves. When they are who they are, we have to look toward God and pray that one day they too find His grace.

    Let go of any doubts they created, be amazing, kind and the lovely, beautiful soul God intended … and then … pray for them.

    Be well, always my friend.

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  49. Awesome stuff and very inspired. I read the other day that faith is closing your eyes and opening your heart. I ask for that faith every day and God never lets me down. ‘For thou art my lamp, Oh Lord: and the Lord will lighten my darkness.’
    Thanks for the great post and God bless and keep you.

    Liked by 1 person

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