Unfailing Love

Posted on by beautybeyondbones

Confession: It’s less than 30 minutes before this post is supposed to go “live,” and I’m still staring at a blank screen.

After Monday’s post, I’ve been, underwhelmed to say the least, to sit down and pour my heart out in an emotional and spiritually uplifting post.

The response, and rather – the backlash – from the post, brought out, some not-so-nice words, to put it lightly. My faith was questioned. I was told I was cursed by God – and that my singleness, infertility and history with anorexia were all signs of said curse. I was called names that would make a sailor blush. (All of said comments have been removed.)

And to be honest, I’m just not, really, feeling the whole emotional vulnerability thing tonight.

And I get that I put out a piece that garnered a lot of feelings from a lot of people, and I did expect that type of response. And frankly, negative feedback comes with the territory of putting yourself on the internet – I completely understand that and am ready to take a few hits. But I guess I wasn’t really expecting it to get that personal.

But: I’m sorry if the piece was offensive to you. Truly, my sincerest apology. I was seeking to merely start a healthy, respectful dialogue. Nothing more, and if my words hit a place of sensitivity, then please accept my apology.

So tonight, I thought I’d share my favorite excerpt from my book, Bloom: A Journal by BeautyBeyondBones.

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“May Your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing…Let me hear of Your unfailing love to me in the morning for I am trusting You.” Ps 143:10

“Your unfailing love” That made me scoff. Unfailing love was for “Becky with the good hair.” It was for the choir singers. The do-gooders. Not me. Not the liar. Not the dirty anorexic. All I could see when I looked in the mirror was failure. How could a God with unfailing love, even consider loving a girl that she, herself, was an utter failure? It seemed out of the realm of possibility.

There’s a term I’ve come to lean on. It started in recovery, and since then, has expanded to other areas of my life: Radical Trust. It’s radical because it just doesn’ make any sense. It’s an extreme move.

God, I’m just going to go for it and trust You. Your love and graciousness is unfathomable, and I cannot comprehend how good You really are, so I’m going to be bold and trust You. Be radical and trust that You are going to help me through this incredibly hard and scary season of my life. Turst that You really will give me firm footing and that You really do love me.

Do you believe in His unfailing love to you? Hearing that, how does it make you feel? Can you trust Him? What could happen if you were to trust Him?

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beautybeyondbones

BBB: Because we're all recovering from something. // For speaking/business inquiries: beautybeyondbones@yahoo.com

398 thoughts on “Unfailing Love”

  2. Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46.10
    I have learned to believe Him when He says this to me when evil brushes past me, casting it’s dark shadow, and leaving me chilled to the bone and downcast within.

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  3. Whoever said those things to you does not understand Christian love. Jesus loved us when we were wretched sinners….the Bible emphasizes this in Romans 5:8. This whole chapter emphasizes that some people might die for the righteous, but Jesus knew us for who we were, in need of his mercy and his forgiveness. I am so thankful for His mercy and his unconditional love today.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. So sorry you were subjected to that kind of ignorance after your post on Monday. I truly believe mental illness is a crisis in our country, but the greater crisis is that we’ve lost our ability as a society to constructively and respectfully disagree. Keep doing what you’re doing. God bless.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. “…sometimes we seal off our thoughts with our emotions, and that suffocates the healthy healing from understanding. You know, finding that way for making enough sense to stop the hurt”

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  10. It is amazing how in all things, the negative outweighs the positive. You have so many beautiful characters and they show in your posts. As hard as it is, throw away the negatives and focus on the positives. Yours is a ministry that touches many. The poor we will always have among us Jesus taught, and that was not just referring to economic status. May God shine on your efforts, your future, and your heart.

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  11. Don’t apologize for being real. It takes guts to be authentic than to sit behind a screen and tell people they are cursed. “Don’t judge others just because they sin differently than you.” People can go screw off. I admire your authenticity. ❤

    Liked by 3 people

  12. Personally I think bravery exhibited by individuals who are sincere and bold and who stand for the right things is exhilarating and refreshing. The nuances of soft sentiment aren’t tailored to reality sometimes. The reality is you are a person. The reality is you’re going to have an opinion no matter how many lives you uplift. People who you truly uplift will appreciate you candor and individuality. You are one of my favorite writers. You are brave and an individual and I appreciate your literature.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Nevel apologize for speaking the truth. Like George Orwell said, telling the truth in a world of deceit is a revolutionary act. The book of Galatians, am I therefore become your enemy because I tell you the truth.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. We can and will never control how someone else chooses to be offended, or for what reasons they choose to lash out at anyone. why should we be expected to be held responsible for someone else’s choosings? we aren’t. they choose what they want to be offended by. you choose to be a light anyway. Those who are offended when truth is placed before them may have unsettled issues that need resolving. and light helps expose those issues.

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  16. When I read about the responses you got, I had to go back and reread your post to see if I missed something. Nope, didn’t miss anything. What the internet allows people to do is vomit without getting themselves dirty. Would these people dare say those hateful things to your face? I doubt it. And if they would, then it just shows what cloth they are made of and who their father is, the father of lies.

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Not that my opinion counts much. But, hey it’s the blogosphere. So, I will just say this. People filled with negativity are prone to crassness. They are metaphorically speaking much like buzzards flitting about looking for the next scrap to grind down. And that’s precisely the point awkwardly made. Don’t let the buzzards grind you down. If the words you speak are offered with love and meant only to engage in honest opinion and insight kindly put, then haven’t you done what the Lord has asked of us? Well, at least half. The other half is to listen. But nowhere in the Bible is there the admonition that “Thou shall be as a doormat”. Just forgiving and walking in truth and light. sighs quietly as he realizes once again that he’ll never get the idea of 25 words or less…. Be well, be still, and know that you are loved by God and fondly thought of by most who read your words.. I think that’s what I really meant.

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  20. Apparently I AM CURSED TOO …not! But my illness is supposedly a curse.
    It is odd that I would write this comment but I am SO glad you shared the negative comments because I was worried it was just me that got the judgment and the harassment. Just knowing that you have had this too makes me fell less alone. We DO put ourselves out there and we DO know that God knows us and that those people truly do not matter. Still hurts some days though and is frustrating to hear it after everything we have been through overcoming. So thank you for sharing

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    1. Hey Bethany, thanks so much for your encouragement. You’re right, God knows us. He knows our hearts and His is the opinion that matters. Not some internet troll, cowardly bullying people anonymously from behind a computer screen. Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your beautiful heart! Hugs and love xox

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      1. I have had quite the relentless bully myself. All I know is that after everything I have been through in my life, I may get knocked down but God lifts me back up, reminds me how I have overcome and am a survivor. And so are you. Love and hugs back at you

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  21. Good post – really challenging, and something that I need to hear and pray about!
    I appreciated your post earlier this week; because of your always unexpected and refreshing way of saying opinions that might not fit with what everyone wants to hear, but more because of what you really came to say: That we should all grieve with Las Vegas. Never mind politics, regrets, and blaming everyone else. It is time to grieve with those who grieve.
    So – hearts, prayers, tears, with Las Vegas!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. I don’t believe in God,any god. But when I read your posts they make me THINK. Therein lies their value for me. Your last post’s main message for me was that the damaged people will find a way to commit harm. I am deeply sorry that you were personally vilified for your opinions. Those people are also damaged.
    Please keep sharing your thoughts on your own life and the world. Being in the UK they stimulate my waking few minutes of thoughtfulness.

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  23. Caralyn, don’t worry about the naysayers. When Jesus spoke, He was no shrinking violet, Jesus challenged people’s thinking. He made enemies, the Pharisees hated him and all they wanted was to get rid of hIm. Some people are like the Pharisees. Jesus didn’t save everybody either, not because He didn’t want to, but because they were spiritually blind. One can be a fan of Jesus Christ but a follower takes risks and puts themselves in the spotlight even when they know it’s going to be hard, but God will reward those who follow Him and His Son Jesus Christ. Mathew 10 :14 If a nnyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. Keep following the one who will raise you up no matter what. I’d rather be judged by God than by men. God bless you.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. I had to go back and look at your last post again, because I don’t recall having read anything untoward or inflammatory. Quite the opposite.

    Not everyone wants to hear the truth. Remember that Jesus spoke the

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      2. It was definitely user error on my part – I accidentally hit the enter key too soon! I hope you are feeling better – don’t let the naysayers get you down. Chances are they they are lacking peace themselves, and they try to steal the peace and joy from those who already seem to have it. After all, people often critique that which they do not understand.

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  27. Sorry to hear about the backlash from your previous post. Keep writing what’s on your heart. True, you will always have a lot of people who won’t agree with your message but your words are ministering to a lot of other people who need hope.

    “Radical trust”
    I love that! It really ministered to me today!
    Bless you

    Rolain

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  28. I’m really sorry to hear you had such awful things said to you. Sadly there are cowards out there who use the protection of their screens to say many things they wouldn’t dare to say in real life. These people clearly need to take a long, hard look at themselves and likely spend a good while in therapy sorting themselves out. I am a firm believer in that what others say and do to us reflects far more on their own issues and insecurities. So remember, what they said wasn’t actually about you. Sadly a lovely person like you got scapegoated. I am not a religious person but yet I still enjoy and get value from your posts, and if I disagree that’s fine. I take what I need from what you write and leave the rest. If I reply, I always try to be balanced and remember you are as human as I am. As some of us say over here in the UK, “chin up, chuck!”. Take care, look forward to reading more posts in the future xxx

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    1. Thanks so much Natalie, I really appreciate your kind words of encouragement. I’m so glad you’ve been enjoying my posts – that makes me smile 🙂 chin up Chuck! Haha yes!! Love it! Thanks for stopping by. Hugs and love xox

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  29. It’s 4:37 am in the morning and here trying to bring a smile to your face. Well lets break some brass tax shall we. As a person i dont always agree with your post. However at times i must speak. Today is one of those days. You are a beautiful young woman with amazing long brown hair that would make my sister mad. Sometimes your post are going to hit a nerve with some people. I know you hit a few nerves with me many a Time. You frustrate me sometimes. But that’s good because she made me pray more. Did you see the tribulation your face right now how to get closer to God. I forget to mention you have a nice smile too. I have enjoyed seeing it in photos for many years now. Buy it must stop right now because I can’t share all my secrets with you.

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  30. On both your post and your except; what fantastic words to hear for me today.

    Putting yourself out there takes boldness – doing it openly and honestly takes God’s help. Doing it consistently in love is a gift.

    And see….how your armor develops. Because it is no longer yours.

    Shielded by God’s concern, and your unwavering push to do the best, write the best, be the best you can for yourself and others – you are touching lives around the globe.

    In this desperately strange time for America, I send you a huge, warm African simile, and the assurance that you are making a difference.

    Onward.

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    1. Wow Kreemer, this seriously touched my heart so much. Thank you with all my heart. I love that image of the armor. That’s my favorite bible passage from Ephesians about putting on the armor of God. Thank you for this incredible affirmation. Hugs and love xox

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  31. I am sorry you are sorry. You have survived genuine dangers and threats galore. How can you say anything of value without some people judging you? The anonymous, virtual, “ideasphere” seems to embolden dark vicious words for anyone who disagrees with them. Stay bold. You are valuable. You do not have to coddle those who huddle in cohorts of anger.

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  32. I’m so sorry you’ve experienced such unkind interaction. You continue to inspire me with how you’ve persevered, grown your blog & published a book. And I love the little gifs you add in. All amazing. Don’t be dulled or distracted by naysayers.
    God’s abundant blessings to you. ❤

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  33. I’m sorry to hear, of the thoughtless words spoken. You know, you’re such a leader, and you write with such care.
    … and you know what to do in such a situation

    A great Ps. quote. I hope you… are experiencing His love
    🙂

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  35. Shake that off, don’t let that negativity affect you like that. With regards to the gun violence, I live in Canada and I am 40 years old and maybe saw a gun twice in my life. The process of getting a gun can here takes years and I know a lot of respectable decent people who were’t even successful in getting a permit for carrying a gun. I think there needs to be something done regarding gun reform in the states, it blows me away that this stuff keeps happening.
    All that said, we all have our opinions and we agree and disagree, that is what we do as human beings but never let any of that impact who you really are and how you really feel. Take care.

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    1. Thank you so much Ash. I really appreciate this thoughtful response. You’re so right, respectful dialogue can be really enlightening and I appreciate hearing everyone’s different viewpoints and beliefs. Thanks for your encouragement 🙂 Hugs and love xox

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  36. The Scriptures say something about the “armor of Light” that we must wear.
    Keep pressing on in your unique path. You’re never alone.
    Things will gradually become more intense. But we will continue to grow stronger in the Lord.

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  37. Not that anybody can tell you what to say and do, but never apologize for being you! The way you are wired makes you a decent person. Actually one of the few that has their head on straight these days.Keep feeling and keep writing! God Bless You!

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  38. I’m disgusted by the vile nature of human beings, you are perfectly entitled to voice your experience and for those who don’t like it they don’t have to read it. I can’t understand why anyone would negatively comment on your struggles, when personal struggle is part of the human experience and is something we often use to learn from or hopefully better us as people.

    Personally, I don’t think you owe anyone an apology, as the only way we can move forward as a people is by honest and open discussion. It’s okay for people to disagree but to intentionally attempt to attack you (especially without really experiencing your struggle) personally shows a lack of character, understanding or empathy and is more a reflection a very limited capacity of understanding.

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    1. Hi Tyrone, thank you so much. I completely. I love respectful and open dialogue! It fosters understanding and enlightenment, but respect is the key word there 🙂 thanks for your kind words. Hugs and love xox

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  39. I’m so sorry for your pain Caralyn! It is truly sad that people feel a need to attack so personally and I’m sorry that you were hurt! Differences of opinion and the ability to choose our own opinions are a beautiful thing and a blessing that we have in this country. We get to become better people when we can have honest, peaceful and kind dialogue, respecting one another. Thank you for sharing your heart and for trusting in God and His goodness as you continue to be vulnerable and let Him guide you. I pray you have a close circle of trusted friends and family that love and care for you just as you are…beautiful and worthy! Blessings to you!

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    1. Hi Kristin, thank you so much. You’re so right – it’s a beautiful thing and that’s what makes the world an interesting and beautiful place! That’s our freedom at work! Thank you for your prayers and kindness. Hugs and love xox

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  40. i’m sorry people had bad things to say about your last post. i enjoyed what you wrote. i will never understand why people feel the need to go so negative when they don’t agree with something. keep up the amazing posts!

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  41. Haven’t read the post from Monday, going to check it out now. Still, no matter what someone’s opinion may be, there is no excuse for such vitriol. I’m sorry that happened to you. Praying God lifts you up today and every day after.

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  43. Coming from Northern (over 3000 death during the 1969-1998 conflict) I will never understand American gun legislation. So, yes, I didn’t agree with everything you wrote in your post. But you are entitled to your opinion and you expressed it intelligently and eloquently. I would never disrespect a fellow blogger. I hope this hasn’t discouraged you and pray you keep inspiring others. ❤️🙏🏻😊

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    1. Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughtful response. Absolutely not, I really do appreciate hearing everyone’s opinions and perspectives. I love learning from other people . It’s such a beautiful thing to have an open and respectful dialogue where people bring their different life experiences and beliefs to the table. So honestly, i really appreciate you sharing your thoughts. Big hugs to you xox

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  44. I’m sorry people were so disgusting to you! It’s sad how people can’t just disagree, and they have to bring personal insults into it. I think you’ve handled it well. 🙂

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    1. thanks so much, friend. You’re right – disagreeing is totally fine! it’s part of our freedom, actually, to hold our own beliefs, and i love hearing everyone’s opinions and learning from others’ perspectives. It’s when the disagreeing turns into personal attacks that it gets troublesome. Thank you for your encouragement. it means the world. Hugs and love xox

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    1. Hey Tony! Oh gosh, no not at all! Definitely not you. I love a good, healthy dialogue! Truly. I love learning from other people’s perspectives and opinions. that how we form understanding and mutual respect! and we’re allowed to disagree! it’s when the disagreeing turns into a personal attack that’s not cool. And that definitely was not you. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts and giving me some food for thought 🙂 big hugs to you friend xox

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      1. Whew!! Ok I just wanted to be sure. And I know you are always open to respectful comments. And we can’t agree on everything. I mean sometimes you are just wrong, Mojitos??? EWWWW 🙂

        Take care kid, hugs back, and as always I am SO proud of you. You are truly amazing

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    1. thanks so much for this affirmation. i think you’re absolutely right – disagreeing is totally fine! and healthy even, when people have a respectful and open dialogue. It’s when it becomes a personal attack that is troublesome. thanks for stopping by. big hugs ox

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  48. I can say “pay no attention to them” but that’s really impossible. You put yourself out there, they jumped on your vulnerability.

    What I find helpful when I’m truly attacked (versus imaginarily attacked – a phenomenon I create all the time) is to develop a good filter on what my nemeses are saying. Here are some of the games being played:

    Transference – They call names because they are called names. They shame you because they are shamed.
    Hidden motives – That is, the motive exposed in the personal attack is different that the real root. And people don’t even know they’re doing it. Fear is the biggest one here. In this case, people put themselves in Las Vegas at the concert. That could be a great exercise in empathy but it turns into a frantically fleeing mob. So what do you do about that fear? Get with a tribe, blame something (anything) and attack it. Ban it, burn it, whatever.
    Tribal allegiance – both left and right have well developed by juvenile-ly hateful tribe-speak. They draft memes that cast completely inaccurate motives on their enemies and demand compliance to whatever communication or action specified. I want to get a puppet emoticon for this one.

    Anyway, you’re right, you ARE loved. Nothing anyone said, says, or will say can ever change that.

    Peace to you.

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    1. thank you os much for this beautiful perspective. Gosh, so much to learn from here. I think you’re right – fear makes people say and do a lot of things that they wouldn’t normally. And especially right after such a horrifying event, people want someone or something to blame as a way to heal or to alleviate that fear. Anywho, thank you for your kind affirmation, here and on the post itself. big hugs to you xox

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  49. For some unknown reason (unknown to me lol) I had unfollowed you. Didnt mean to. I’m sorry some people lashed out at you. I believe we all have a right to our own opinions. I think if we disagree, we can do that nicely. I have failed at that in the past. I hope I never do again.

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    1. Hey friend! oh gosh, no worries. You’re so right – disagreeing is totally okay! It’s part of our freedom, actually! disagreeing doesn’t have to be attacking. that’s the long and short of it. thanks for your kind words of encouragement. big hugs xo

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  50. Thank you for your last two posts. I was actually wondering about the backlash you might receive. Although I only scanned both of your last posts, I had some thoughts about describing the shooter in Las Vegas as mentally ill. I’m currently in graduate school for social work and I know that God has me in a season of “double-refinement” of being able to sift things of this world and filter it through a Biblical world view. It has been a rather challenging season, laden with God’s peace underneath, quite an interesting experience.

    With that said, I did take issue NOT with you, rather with your words calling the man mentally ill – though, not the same level as times in history such as the Rwandan genocide in 1994 or the Holocaust in the 1930s and 1940s, but so much of the research following atrocities such as this past weekend, seek to determine WHY people do what they do. What researchers found after the Holocaust is that if people could claim that an authority above them ordered them to commit something awful, then that person was “off the hook” and could use that as the reason they did what they did, “It was an order, and I follow orders.” Other current research in America reveals that in fact something like less than 10% of the people who commit mass manslaughter or massacres are actually indeed mentally ill. And that our label of mentally ill comes with so much behind it that is often offensive to people who do indeed struggle with mental illness.

    Now I realize, that you and me, we both see the spiritual undertones of what is happening, that true evil does indeed exist. That there is a very real enemy of our hearts, our communities, our nations and our world. Satan. He manipulates and his demons delude and deceive people here on earth. At the same time, God has given us FREE WILL. Probably one of the most radical gifts, third to Jesus and Holy Spirit, He could have ever given us. WE get to choose, WE decide whether or not to submit to a supreme and radically loving God.

    I hesitate, in times of grief and processing the atrocities that seem so common place now (or maybe we are just more aware of it because of instant communication) to explain what happened and why. Because —– I think that, even if it’s unintended, our explanations actually serve to justify and give excuses for why people do what they do and actually takes away their power of choice. “The devil made me do it.” Well God always gives us an out! ALWAYS and we can choose to hear that or not.

    In conclusion, the discussion you brought to light is layered and complex; there are so many different factors to take into consideration in sensitive times like these. And bottom line, this world is only going to get worse. Yet, as human beings, I hold firmly to the power of our choice and our ability to choose for ourselves our actions.

    I think what you wrote is important. I think your feelings, your thoughts, your expression is valid AND needed! We NEED this dialogue and Yes, you experienced flack, you were met with hate, with misunderstanding, but the conversation shouldn’t stop there. It MUST continue, or else things will align back right to the sick way that they were instead of opening up a door for healing and reconciliation, if not forgiveness. Things are so easily swept under the rug and kept there and then eventually it leaks out, it has to, at some point.

    In full self-disclosure, I have been personally so hurt by other Christians, not only in label, but those who seek and follow Jesus to the best of their ability. That is a thorn in my side and I have to be careful not to let that jade me. It’s almost those we are supposed to be most unified with that hurt us the most. People calling you a heretic or blasphemous or insensitive or possessed of WHAT HAVE YOU. Those statements are loaded and there is always more to the story. Those people may be venting on you – they may have had a daughter die in the massacre, maybe the massacre triggered others unprocessed feelings, maybe there is an entire back story to their position – but what we see and hear and experience is the top of the iceberg, with all the rest just under the surface.

    Thank you for continuing to be bold. Even in your post showing Trump praying for our nation – I voted against him and believe he is the epitome of everything that is shitty in America, I believe that a narcissistic America has created a monster – that Trump is the sick fruit and product of a nation that is going downhill real fast. His election was a crisis in faith for me. And at the end of all of it, God placed people in power in Biblical times that were awful, he hardened Pharaoh’s heart, Pharaoh who was responsible for the enslavement of God’s people – God put HIM into power also – or allowed it rather. We might have differing political views, but in the end, God is sovereign and we NEED more dialogue and more people like you to be bold and continue to use your God-given platform to do the hard and radical things.

    So I honor you and thank you for continuing to be faithful in your walk with Jesus and sharing so vulnerably.

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    1. Wow, Nathalie, I am so moved by this thoughtful response. thank you so much for sharing your heart and your thoughts. Wow, what an incredible position you’re in, going into social work, and also being a Christian. That “double refinement” is going to change a lot of lives, i just know it. And thank you for this powerful perspective. It’s true – it’s just the tip of the iceberg, but we need to continue these open, honest and respectful dialogues, because that’s where we can foster understanding and healing. thanks again. Hugs and love xox

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